NOTICE- EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY- I'm back, baby. ^^

Chapter 5- The finding of the Bust, and A QUEST

Scene- Dr Tax-fattened-hyena has left their solitary office to seek a latte and some peace and quiet.

Doctor- Assistant! Bring me a venti 9 shot, 1 pump mocha, vegan, no whip, with exactly 4 shakes of cinnamon, shaken, not stirred.

Assistant Lynn *Dashes to the counter chanting the incantation under her breath*

Doctor-*Settles into a chair to re-read their first published New York Times Bestseller book- 'Corporate Therapy- manufacturing mental illness for profit.'*

*Phone Rings*

Doctor: Hello?

Mysterious voice: We need you to do something for us.

Doctor: Oh yes, Mr. Dis... Mr. Waldo.

Voice: There is a package behind the water fountain in the park. Retrieve it and we will compensate you handsomely.

Doctor: No trouble, sir. Would you like it gift-wrapped?

Voice: No.

CLICK.

Doctor: Assistant! I need you to get something else for me.

Lynn: *Places the cup of the magical potion on the table* Yes?

Doctor: Retrieve the package behind the water fountain.

*Sipping their drink, the doctor smiles as they flip through the pages of their book.

Doctor: Those were the days...

Lynn: I have the package.

She looked at the book in the doctor's hand.

Lynn: Is that your bestseller?

Doctor: Yes. This was when I was just out of college with my PHD. I toured several countries to teach corporations about mental health and holistic healing.

Lynn: You must have done so much good...

Doctor: Well. No. They listened to what I had to say. Smiled. Nodded. Then went against every recommendation to intentionally hook young people into mental illness and physical health crises. They used my science about addiction to design those cellphones you adore.

Lynn: What? That's so unethical!

Doctor: Yes. Yes it is.

*Doctor opened the package and gasped aloud*

Doctor: Holy fudge and crickets!

Lynn: What is it?

Doctor hurriedly shoves the wrapping back over the package. Glances side to side to see if anyone was watching.

Doctor: Noone else was in the room where this happened. Got it?

Lynn nodded and scurried to follow the doctor back to his new Lexus, coffee in tow.

Back in the office the doctor shoved everything of the desk. Everything crashed to the floor.

He gingerly set the package down on the table and let it fall open.

Shining in the sunlight was the bronze bust of Teddy Roosevelt.

Doctor Tax-fattened-hyena clutched their chest and collapsed to the floor.