Chapter 5.

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'It's Hard To Forget Someone Who Gave You So Much To Remember.'

6 months, 6 months and yet everything seemed so fresh, so clear in her mind as if it was yesterday. A distant echo still haunted her so deeply, she longed to forget the pain, to forget the fear, to forget the anger, to forget the one who gave her a reason to live, but not forget him, forget who he had become, forget the dreams, the memories, forget it all. Sometimes she wished she was someone else, sometimes she wish she had never become queen, she wished she had never gone to Tattooine, became a senator, gave in to his temptations, gone against the law, sometimes she wished she was someone else. But then she would remember, who she had, who were responsible for making her who she was, no longer a queen, no longer a senator, she was a mother.

She had woken up, to the sunrise of Coruscant beaming through her windows, in the arms of her love. It was bright, enough for her to squint the second her eyes opened, but the romantic stares of her husband did not go unnoticed, she smiled as her naked body lay with his, his scent so refreshing and comforting, she longed for this forever, instead of the constant goodbyes. "How long have you been staring?" She mumbled in her morning state, Anakin smiled running his hand through her hair. "Not long enough." He responded completely in awe of the woman in his arms. "You're so...beautiful." He spoke once more, it was almost as if those words he spoke didn't justify how he felt about her. She smiled and moved her warm hand to his bare chest, "Oh Anakin." She whispered softly nuzzling her face further into his neck. Anakin held her close, so secure on protective, the cool metal of his bionic hand brushed against her back, the warmth of his human had against her arm, his heartbeat pumping heavy against his chest, his breath taking shelter in her hair, she could never find a love like this, and she never wanted too.

Padme opened her eyes from her meditation, feeling the warm breeze of Tattooine through her skin, she took a deep breath as she looked out to the sunrise of the two moons. She was calm, soothed, relaxed, she felt no pain, she felt no heartbreak, she felt at peace. As if the galaxy had spoke to her, her husband had died she knew that, but the galaxy spoke to her, soothed her of her agony, she couldn't explain the feeling, she just felt so connected, her hands moved to the ground by her knees, feeling the hot sand beneath her, her fingers become buried under the grains, it relaxed her yet she remembered the words of her husband, how he hated it, how it got everywhere, she figured the sand was just a metaphor and a cover for the suffering he had endured on this planet. Her attention quickly diverted to the sound of footsteps behind her, footsteps of her Jedi friend. Turning her head slightly, "I'm ready...It's time I move on." She said simply to Obi Wan, he was to train her, physically and mentally, teach her how to defend herself and territory, teach her how to control her own mind, to stop the memories and dreams that haunted her of the life she had, of the husband that broke her heart, she was ready and it was time.

That morning, after the twins were seen too, Mali watched over them for a few hours whilst Padme and Obi Wan took some time out in the open deserts of Tattooine, to train, to focus. After a few hours of physical combat it was time she mentally trained, something the Jedi were well equipped in. They sat opposite each other, legs crossed, back straight, their hands on their knees, similar to her meditative state she had been in that morning. "Close your eyes Padme, breathe, feel the connection to the galaxy, to yourself, to the force." Obi Wan's voice was incredibly soothing at this time, she couldn't explain it, but it was easier for her to get into her meditative state now than she had prior. "Once you are truly focused and connected I want you to tell me what you see, what you feel, the things you hear, connect yourself with the force..." He said as he too connected himself with the force.

She couldn't describe what she felt, once more she just felt a calm come over her, at first she saw nothing but a bright light, it seemed peaceful, seemed powerful, and as she got further into this tunnel of light she saw figures, no, faces, her own, she was happy, she was smiling. "I see me..." She said softly in a hushed calm tone. "I feel happy, I'm smiling...there is no pain." She added once more as she headed further into the light, her vision of herself became clearer, "I see...a crib, two cribs, with two babies, they're happy and healthy, so beautiful." She couldn't help but smile in her trance. "I feel so connected to them, so protective...they're gone." She said with a small frown. "Wait...they are safe, in the arms of...Anakin." Her voice almost broke at the name. "He's happy, he's in love, he's okay...no pain, no suffering, no conflict...just love, joy...peace." Obi Wan listened to her words and opened his eyes to see a calm and refreshing happy expression on her face, even with her eyes closed he could sense the joy in her. It made him smile, but he quickly saw that joy turn into furrowed brows, pain, hurt..."It's changing, I see fire, I feel hot...conflict, pain, suffering...he's confused, he's afraid, I can't help him..." She began to choke on her own words as her chest rose quicker and stronger through the heavy feeling that came across her. "Focus Padme, do not let these visions cloud you...you are strong, you will defeat this pain." Obi Wan ensured her knowing first she must endure this. "His hands, I feel his hands...but, they're different, they are on my skin, but they are not warm and loving like they used to be, no, they're cold, evil...they're around my neck. He hates me...I couldn't save him, I..." Padme paused as she became visibly disturbed. "I feel...nothing...it's gone..he's gone..." she took a deep breath and continued her trance, powering through the pain. "I see..Naboo...I see the fields of Naboo, I see Luke...he's older, so handsome, much like Anakin" The same smile appeared on her face once more. "Leia." She whispered softly, "She's beautiful, but...she has pain, she is in love, but with so much pain. She feels loss...I feel loss...someone close to her, a feeling like no other...a connection like no other...a connection like a mother." Padme's voice spoke in such a peaceful hushed tone but did not match the facial expressions on her face. Her words didn't make much sense as she explained everything she felt, everything she saw in her mind. "Ani..." She whispered out softly, sadly. Obi Wan arched his eyebrows, it wasn't until she began to physically start choking, like someone's hands around her neck, like her hands around her neck, that Obi Wan became concerned.

Vader sat in his quarters, moments to himself haunted him, his actions haunted him, but he was one with his darkness and that was all he was loyal too. Until, she came to his mind, her face, her hair, her attire, she was smiling to him, he almost smiled back, but then distress came over her, his anger built up, who was causing his Padme this pain? Right...he almost forgot. His fists clenched, the leather of his glove creating a sound that almost went through him. How he longed for her, how she was his only pull to the light. Yet how much he hatred he had every time her face appeared in his mind, longing for her to stop haunting him, longing for her to stop reminding him of the pain he had caused her, what he had done to her, he didn't want to live, he didn't want to breath, he wanted her...but he wanted the darkness more. He loved her so much, until he loved the power even more. His hands, his own bare hands around her neck, how could he do such a thing? "Stop." He threatened himself, his own mind, moving his hands to the helmet on his head,

Padme choked more and more until Obi Wan had to intervene, breaking her from her trance. "Padme." He called to her, her eyes closed so tight, she had stopped choking that was for sure, but still, in her trance, in his arms in her trance, she could not be broken from it, not until the time was right, he knew that much. Instead he kept her in his arms, supporting her, as the sweat fell from his forehead, the sun beaming down his face. He tried to get inside her mind, to guide her out of her own vision, but he couldn't, a block, like a force preventing him. He knew there was nothing he could do, until she was ready, the galaxy wanted her to see what she was seeing, and until she had, she would not break free from her stupor.

Suddenly she was in quarters, a room, so unfamiliar but so cold and full of darkness. She couldn't move, as if she was stuck to the floor, but her eyes observed her surroundings, everything seemed so mechanical, so...iniquity. She was alone but she heard something, she couldn't quite figure out, breathing, it was...intimidating, robotic, menacing. Her heart race rose and the blood pumping through her veins felt so intense, closing her eyes for a second, to contain herself. Once she opened them again there he was, Vader...the man who was once her husband. What had happened to him?

Vader closed his eyes for a second, to contain himself. Once he opened them again there she was, Padme...the woman who was once his wife.

This wasn't real, it couldn't be, she was dead, he had killed her.

This wasn't real, it couldn't be, he was...robotic, he was evil.

He rose to his feet, so tall, so built, taking one step forward, she felt herself jolt in her trance, she felt herself move, one step back to his every step forward. When he stopped so did she, she found herself breathing in rhythm to his own.

Silence, 10 feet apart, face to face, she saw fire around him, felt the heat of Mustafar consume her. He saw grass around her, felt the soothing warmth of Naboo around her.
Lovers...ripped apart in hatred, in pain. But, still...so connected.

"Padme."

Padme's eyes shot open at the sound of her name, it felt so real, the robotic tone cursed through her body. It confirmed it, that masked figure she had seen, it was him. She gasped for her as she looked up to the sky of Tattooine.

"Anakin."