Chapter 9.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

'One'

One year, how had it been one year since everything happened? Since the twins were born? it was so surreal. Luke and Leia were now walking well, waddling. Babbling away with a few key words, Mama being the main one. Her tiny humans grew into such beautiful toddlers, she was proud of them, she was so in love with then, yet she couldn't help but feel so guilty for their first birthday being so bittersweet.

It had been a year since she contemplated death, a year since Anakin had become so blinded by the darkness that he had been responsible for her pain, a year since the galaxy would never be the same, a year since she lost him. But, not only her, a year since Obi Wan lost his fellow Jedi, his life, a year since thousands of clone soldiers lost their lives, a year since the galaxy's hope and protected faded as quickly as it was developed. A year since the galaxy especially Naboo mourned her death, the death of their queen, her family lost a daughter, a sister an aunt, she couldn't help but feel incredibly guilty for her lies, but she had to live this way. A year since her twins were born into such heartbreak and sadness.

Padme stopped having the dreams, now they were empty, dark emotionless dreams. She had forced herself to not be so addicted to her trances with him, especially after imperial troopers were spotted on Tattooine, luckily for them it was a short visit and for simply collecting mechanical parts, weapons and fuel. She knew she couldn't risk it anymore, she would sacrifice her own desires for the twins.

Tattooine was not the best place to be buying gifts and decorations, anything for a birthday really. But Padme had made sure she found a way to make it special for her children. She cut up an old dress she had worn during her time as senator, a dress that meant nothing to her anymore, she couldn't exactly wear it around Tattooine, she had cut them into ribbons and hung them from her concrete ceiling to give a party effect, it wasn't much but it was something. Mali had prepared a small party platter of typical Tattooine foods, most of them mashed up for the children to eat safely, with fresh juice from the fruit sold in the markets. And with what little ingredients she could find made a small cake, only enough for the twins to have, probably smear it all around their faces and communal area, but it was nothing Padme wasn't prepared for.

Obi Wan arrived later that morning to see the kids interacting with R2 as the droid played music for them, laughing and dancing in their toddler states made him smile as he walked through the door of the hut he called his second home. Seeing Padme and Mali preparing the table for the children's birthday lunch he walked down the few steps to them, "Is there anything I can do to help?" He asked the women with a smile, Obi Wan was proud of how far she had come, what she had done to make her children's first year of life so special, he knew how hard it was for her as he too pushed aside the other reasons why this day was so important. "No thank you Ben, we are almost set." Padme added with a smile as she placed the last plate down on the table, before heading over to her twins. Obi Wan could see behind her smile the pain Padme was feeling, "How is she doing?" He quietly asked Mali as they watched her interact and dance with her twins and R2. "Far greater than I could have ever done if I were in her position." Mali responded, she was so proud of Padme, was even inspired by her. "I will talk with her later this evening, I sense great pain within her." He said simply, running his hand through his moustache.

Three adults, two toddlers, and two droids, all sat around the table, celebrating the same thing, the first year of the twins lives, the twins that changed everything for all three of them. After eating Padme smiled and sat back in her chair, watching her children in their own baby chairs, as they found humour in wiping cake on each other's arm, her smile quickly faded when Anakin appeared into her mind, he should be here celebrating this with them. They were his babies too. Obi Wan saw the change in her face and held his glass up, he knew the babies wouldn't understand but the adults did. "A toast, to a magical year with two of the greatest blessings." Padme half smiled at his efforts with her children before sitting up again and raising her glass to toast her children.

The day had passed rather quickly and it wasn't long before the children were in bed, the sun was setting and Mali had made a wine like drink out of the remaining fruits they had left. Padme was already 3 glasses in after the children had gone to bed and gone to sit out on the small dune with her drink as the sun quickly disappeared causing the night breeze to sooth her. "Room for another?" Obi Wan asked as he sat down next to her, a drink in his hand also. Padme didn't answer just smiled to him, "I sense a great deal on your mind Padme.." He said softly as they sat shoulder by shoulder, he only wanted to be there for her. He let her wait in silence for a moment before she spoke up, "It's all my fault Obi Wan." She said softly, Obi Wan's eyebrows arched as he looked to her, "What is?" he asked once more. "This, everything, I refused Anakin so many times on Naboo...on Tattooine I felt so different about him, I saw his pain when lost his mother, when he opened up to me about what he did, he was so lost...frightened, and then on Geonosis when we came to rescue you, I thought we were going to die and I had to tell him...tell him I truly loved him and his response.." She looked to him, "I thought we agreed not to fall in love, that we would be forced to live a lie and that it would destroy our lives." She said remembering the words so clearly in her mind. "He was right, I shouldn't have given in so easily..maybe things would have been so different, better." She added softly. Obi Wan took a sip of his wine and then cleared his throat. "Padme, it is important to know that whatever happens to us, to any of us, it was always meant to be, written in the paths of our destiny. It wouldn't have mattered if you give in to his love or not, he was always meant to be on this path...the Jedi failed to see that, I failed to see that and in doing so...we failed him." Obi Wan added, his own guilt haunting him. Padme looked to him, "You were a great friend to him Obi Wan, he spoke so highly of you." She assured him, okay there were times when Anakin strongly disliked Obi Wan but overall he loved him so much. "I've been seeing him, in my meditations...in my dreams. Or at least I used too. He was robotic, evil, but something, something about him called out to me, longed for me, once again he was that frightened boy and I couldn't save him." She said simply. "2 months ago I had a dream that he was standing right outside the hut, he asked me to free him of this pain, before turning his lightsaber on himself." She swallowed hard at the dreams, "He's suffering Obi Wan, ever since then I knew I couldn't let him in anymore, I tried so hard but I fear for him and I am so afraid that this is going to be it forever...constant pain, suffering...I just want to be happy again." She whispered looking into the almost empty glass in her hands. "the suffering will always remain, it is how you handle it is what counts...and despite this suffering, you will be happy again Padme, I promise you." He said to his friend with a smile, she looked to him, "Thank you Obi Wan...I really don't know how I could have got through any of this without you." She said sincerely, Obi Wan smiled. "I Often think the same thing about you." He said with a smile, Padme finished her drink, "1 years old...time sure does pass quickly." She said changing the subject still struggling to believe her twins were 1 already. "They'll be adults before you know it, enjoy it." He said with a smile before standing up offering her his hand, Padme arched her eyebrow as she looked up to him. "What? You think Mali will let us go the night without finishing her concoction of pure evil." He teased never being great with alcohol, since it was never really allowed. Padme laughed taking his hand as he pulled her up from her feet walking back to the hut. Seeing Mali pouring another glass she smiled, "A new year, a fresh start...all this pain and suffering...it's time to move on, I only want to make the best of what we have." Padme said to her two friends as they spent the evening together sharing great memories and jokes. It was nice, Padme hadn't had this in a while, Obi Wan had never had anything like this and for Mali, well it was nice to feel so connected to her family once more.

And just like that, 10 years, 10 years had passed.