A/N: Blast it, I wanted to avoid writing a short chapter. Had to cover a shift today.

Sorry if this doesn't live up to expectations T_T

As ever, the Embers rule remains.

If folks don't like this story, POOF! Away it goes. Gone forever. With two jobs and rent to pay, my free time is...well, at an all time low. I'm lucky to have four hours to write a day. I can't afford to pen stories that no one enjoys. So by all means, speak up! Every bit of feedback matters here! Truly, it does! That's no joke!

Alright, now that we've got that way, onto your questions!

Q: Where have you been?!

A: Busy. This is a hobby, or have you forgotten? I'd make a career of this if I could; sadly, that's just not possible.

Also, I'm dearly sorry for any and all grammatical errors. I'm trying to catch them where I can.

Q: NarutoxCoco? Haven't seen you try that angle before. Maybe give it a go?

A: Tempting. But doesn't she prefer girls, though? Feel free to correct me if I'm wrong, by all means! I haven't really read the RWBY novels -still paging through Roman Holiday- and as stated, I'm a fair bit busy. Sometimes details slip through the cracks.

Q: More Arcane and Genshin updates, plz!

A: They're coming, don't worry. If I don't update RWBY consistently, I get BOMBARDED by people.

Q: Is...is Naruto going to rule the underworld in this? He's already got Cinder handled, and gang war aside, I can easily see this happening, but for the fact that he keeps referring to this as his "vacation" Not that I blame him. After all, he spent so much time sealing himself away, is it any wonder he wants to kick up his feet and relax?

A: Can't really answer that up here, but I can say this:

Naruto's started a chain of events he can't possibly predict. That's all.

Aright, I think I've kept you all waiting long enough, haven't I?

As ever, I own no references, quotes, themes or memes. They're merely tributes. Away we go~!

"Take care when you play with fire; you might get burned."

~?

Sugar and Spice

Naruto was no stranger to attention - much less the conflict that often followed it.

As a boy he'd often striven for the former; ever eager to prove himself to his peers. First came pranks in his village, then missions with his comrades, and finally, saving the world as a whole. He'd been selfish back then, if only because he wanted to be seen. Recognized. Acknowledged by all those who didn't believe in him. Had things gone according to plan, he may well have settled down someday, started a family, maybe even become the Hokage. So yes, he'd grown rather used to the public eye.

But this was too much of a good thing!

A blind man could see the hostility in the air, cut the tension with a knife. There they were; Miltia and Melanie on either side of him, Velvet all but wedged against his chest, and him smack dab in the middle. A bemused Coco looked on the from the sidelines; sprawled out on a couch, wearing a shit-eating grin that would have put Madara himself to shame. Hei, meanwhile, looked like he was one sharp word from flinging himself out the door. One really couldn't blame him for wanting to call it a day, early though it was.

All in all? Hardly the way he'd expected his morning to go. And yet he found himself smiling all the same; if only because a small part of him enjoyed being in the spotlight.

Even after years of isolation, he just enjoyed being around people, ya know? Maybe that made him a social butterfly.

Kurama delivered him the mental equivalent of a knock upside the head. "You think?"

Right, the twins were going for their weapons. Time to intervene.

"Hey!" He placed both hands on Velvet's shoulders and gently drew her back. "Why're ya crying?! I fixed your problem!"

"You did...!" She looked up at him with watery eye. "But then you vanished! You didn't even tell me where to find you! Stupid!" A weak fist thumped his chest. "Unfair! I wanted to thank you in person!" when he couldn't bring himself to answer quickly enough, she bulled forward again buried her face against his jacket. "I didn't think I'd ever see you again! Coco had to track your phone just for me to find you!"

"Aw...hey, wait!" Naruto cast a frantic glance at Melanie and Miltia. He found no sympathy there. "You tracked my phone? That's a thing? She can do that?"

Coco lowered her shades to stare at him. "Technologically inept, much?"

"This from the girl who helped her hunt me down!"

Coco whistled innocently.

Right, maybe he should get Junior to upgrade his phone again. Didn't much like the idea of someone being able to hunt him down.

It was too much to hope the twins wouldn't pounce on that.

Miltia took the initiative and stomped forward. "How in the hell do you know him?"

Velvet flinched. "He helped me...with a bully problem."

"Bully?" Melanie caught on first. "That was you?" Her eyes narrowed, noting her uniform at last. "Shit. You're both from Beacon, aren't you? You're huntresses."

"In training." Coco called from the couch.

Velvet stamped a foot. "Coco!"

"Sorry. Truth hurts. Bartender!" the brunette seized the day and waved her empty glass. "Pour me another!"

Junior made a noise like grinding glass and pulled out a trio of green bottles. He hurled the smallest at her. The gunner caught it, uncorked her prize, and knocked it back with a hearty sigh. The reprieve bought Velvet a chance to disengage; she finally took her gaze from him and looked around, taking in her surroundings for the first time. Wide eyes regarded the club, truly noticing it.

"You work here?"

Naruto shrugged. "More or less."

Melanie and Miltia rolled their eyes. "Definitely more."

He could've contested that, but he didn't feel the need. It wasn't as if Velvet would believe the truth. He'd had to pull out Kurama just to convince Hei and the twins. Doing so scared them half to death, and he didn't want the same for the poor bunny, much less this Coco girl. Better they think him a good samaritan rather than a god reborn. What was the saying? Ignorance was bliss? Yep, that was the one. He didn't much feel like shouting his identity to the world at large.

"There would be worship and gifts, though. Some of which might be Ramen...

Tempting-wait, no! Don't think about it! Too late. It was in his head. Leave it to Kurama to be the devil on his shoulder, even after their ascension.

"Who said anything about being a devil? We fought a lot of people to get this divinity. We deserve to be treated as such."

'Thoughts for ater!'

Shoving those thoughts aside, he focused on the task at hand. Namely keeping these three from killing one another. At some point someone must've said something; because Miltia looked like she was contemplating cold blooded murder, and Melanie wasn't far behind.

"Now if everyone would just put their weapons away?" he stepped between the three of them. That'd be greeeaaat."

Melanie and Miltia didn't budge an inch. Velvet reached for a box on her belt.

In the background, Coco rose from the couch, gripping her handbag.

Naruto sighed explosively. "For the love of...group hug!"

His right arm flitted out, reeling Velvet against him. Her squeak of surprise went ignored, from there he produced a pair of golden chakra arms and grabbed the twins by the scruff of their necks. In short order they were hoisted into the air as one might a pair of naughty children. A thought yanked them inward. From there he crushed all three of them into his chest, stifling all hopes of protest. Well, more like muffling, really.

"Hey!

"Damnit, whiskers!"

"Ouch! Not so tight, blast you!"

Naruto ignored them wholeheartedly.

If life was a balancing act, he thought he was doing a decent job thus far; in that he'd given up balance altogether. In his short time here, he'd done so many things. Quarreled with one student, helped another, accidentally took over a gang, made his fair share of enemies and friends alike. Even nettled himself a place to say for the foreseeable future. Life goals these were not, but they were all he needed -wanted!- right now from this strange second life of his. He really didn't have a set goal here, and while it helped him to relax, it also left him in a bit of lurch.

Adrift, if you would.

Even now his conscience nagged at him. He could do so much good. Did he stick around Vale or set out into the wider wold. The possibilities were endless. He longed only to explore them. No. Wait. He told a lie. He wanted to make as many friends as he possibly could. They'd never replace those he'd known in the past, but still. It was still his choice to make. Stay, or go? Friends, or exploration?

"Gods don't have to choose, Naruto. They take. Why have one when you can have both?

That...actually made sense. Fair words, if a bit misguided. He'd modify them.

He was going to take as much as he could from this vacation.

"So!" he beamed, "Who wants ice cream?! I'm buying!"

Velvet right ear twitched. "...what kind?"

And time marched on.

(.0.0.0.)

Cinder limped into bed, favoring her good leg.

This wasn't over. Not by a long shot.

"He'll see...they'll all see...!

(.0.0.0.)

Taiyang cocked his shotgun with all the righteous wrath of a furious father.

Someone had harmed his baby girl, his sunny little dragon.

Couldn't expect god to do all the work.

(.0.0.0.)

Salem tilted her head as he reclined in her throne, stewing in her thoughts.

She'd sensed it some days ago. A shift. An awakening.

She wondered if it would devour Cinder.

Regardless it bore watching.

She need not act.

Yet.

(.0.0.0.)

One did not simply become a criminal mastermind overnight.

One needed patience. Caution. Determination and grit in equal measure.

One had to be smart, fast, willing to cut deals -and the occasional throat!- to survive.

Because, you see, Roman Torchwick considered himself a cautious man. He'd clawed his way up from the bottom to the top. Seen the worst this world had to offer and emerged unscathed. He'd even forged a few friends and found himself a partner along the way. He'd made a name for himself, first in Mistral, then Vale. Even Atlas and Vacuo knew his name. Yes sir, he'd been riding high on fame and fortune.

Until one Cinder fall brought him crashing low.

Oh, how he'd chafed working for that wicked witch; not that he'd had much of a choice. Obey or die. Those were his options. Resistance was futile. At least it had been. Until someone floored her. Literally. Spanked her arse like a little girl, tossed her about, then spread the video all over the internet. That implied strength to be sure, but also a vindictive streak. A velvet glove concealing an iron fist. He'd spoken openly with at her first; then, when negotiations broke down, tanned her hide.

Roman was no fool. He knew he wasn't a fifth of the fighter Cinder had been. Fighting that thing was akin to throwing yourself into a hurricane.

Thus, he wasn't here to fight. No, sir. Not tonight.

The doors to the Club were much as he remembered, as was the main front itself. Bar a fresh coat of paint an a few cracks in the neon-lit sign, it was every bit as he recalled. Hei's bouncers were nowhere to be seen for once. Their absence troubled him more than he cared to admit. Even now he could feel the presence lurking behind those doors; a palpable dread that clawed at him like a Beowolf. Maybe that was his Semblance acting up again. He'd always been able to detect danger in a way, sense trouble coming before it hit. Fat load of good that did him here.

"Wonder if 'ol whiskers remembers the directions I gave him...?"

Definitely, knowing his luck. Junior was probably still pissed to all hell about that.

And if things went poorly tonight, he'd stand to lose a great deal more than his friendship with the Xiong Clan.

Just thinking of it threatened to unman him entirely. Fumbling fingers flailed for a cigar and his lighter as he regarded the door leading to his doom. It took three tries before the blasted thing finally sparked. He inhaled deeply, savoring it before exhaling a thin plume of smoke. It settled his nerves slowly but surely, casting a thick veneer of calm over his frayed senses.

With a hearty exhale, he took a final pull and dropped it at his feet. Melodic Cudgel crunched down, extinguishing it.

"Alright." the word was a rasp. "Ready to go, Neo?"

His partner shrugged. Fearless little thing. Shame he couldn't borrow that. Neo was unpredictable at the best of times, downright volatile at others -especially when she didn't get her ice cream!-but he didn't think she had a death wish. Besides, she seemed eager for this. Hopefully she wouldn't get too stab-happy.

Anyone capable of taking Cinder out like yesterday's trash wasn't someone he wanted to tango with. He hadn't enjoyed dancing to her tune in the first place! Now she'd gone radio silent, not returning his calls, refusing to so much as speak to him. All he received was silence.

And in the silence, he'd begun to wonder.

Even now his mind buzzed with questions. Was the plan still on? What was he supposed to do with all that Dust? Keep it? Sell it? He had to know. And so he'd come down here at this ungodly hours to make nice with the new...huh. Truth be told he didn't know what to call the kid. Still, a meet and greet was in order, if only to get his bearings. Wouldn't do to step on any toes now. He wouldn't do something so senselessly stupid. It ranked right up there with attracting a Grimm in the middle of a swarm. Only an idiot would do something like that.

Enough stalling! Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

Steeling himself Roman placed both hands against the doors and flung them open. They parted on well-oiled hinges, opening him to the empty expanse beyond. First impressions were key. He wasn't about to crawl in like some dog. Oh, no. If this was to be his last day on Remnant, he was going to make an absolute scene.

"Junior, I'm home!"

A bottle whistled at his head. Roman caught it midstride and took a moment to admire it as he sauntered toward the bar.

"Huh." he smacked his lips as he appreciated the dark blue glass. "Desert Flower. Good vintage."

"Sit your ass down and drink."

Junior glared bloody red daggers at him from behind the counter. Huh. His old buddy looked more haggard than usual. Small wonder they were closed tonight.

Roman complied, sliding onto a bar stool as Neo claimed the closes beside him. The bottle thunked down, glasses came out, and Junior poured.

He didn't dare speak again until he'd had his first shot. "Tough times?"

"Torchwick, I will slap you."

"Fine, fine, spoilsport...can't I visit an old friend?"

"Friend?" Hei's smile could have etched glass. "You sicced that kid on me. Hardly a friendly thing to do."

Here at last, Roman had the good grace to wince. To be fair, he hadn't been aware of what said "kid" was. It had seemed a fun way to ruffle Junior's feathers and help out a brat down on his luck. Two nevermore with one bullet. Had he known his true nature, he would've told him to take a long walk off a short pier. Right now his Semblance was screaming at him, but still he saw neither hide nor hair of their guest.

"He here?"

"Upstairs." Junior flicked a thumb over his shoulder. "He's resting. Entertained some Beacon girls today. Took 'em out on the town.

Beacon? Shit. The criminal's blood cooled in his veins. "...what does he want?"

"That's just it!" Junior flung up his arms and tore at his hair. "I don't know! Its driving me mad!" his forehead kissed the counter with an audible thunk. "I need a vacation!"

Neo deigned to pat his back. It bespoke of Hei's own exhaustion that he didn't bat her hand away.

"C'mon," Roman rallied and poured himself another glass, "He can't be that bad."

No, a small voice hissed into the back of his head. He could be worse.

Junior groaned into the counter.

Torchwick sighed. "Wanna run that by me again?"

"I said you don't know the half of it." His old friend raised his head. "He's the one who snuck into Beacon. In and out." he snapped his fingers. "Without so much as a whisper."

Forget cold. Roman's blood became so much ice. Neo had perked up in his peripherals. Worse, she was smiling. It was not a nice smile.

"Shit. That was him?"

"And then some." Hei drank straight from the tap. "He fucked up the Winchester brat. His family's howling for blood."

"S-Still, that doesn't mean things have to change," he tried. He really did. "Maybe he was setting an example?"

"Change?! Things HAVE changed! Take a look around!"

Reluctantly, Roman did as he was bade.

The first thing he noticed were the men. More than he remembered. Hei had been recruiting. Seemed the Xiong Clan was moving up in the world. Or down. Hard to tell when it came with gang. His was strictly a two-man operation. Worked better that way. Still, this lot looked...capable. For untrained thugs without Aura.

"Oh, its you."

A voice from the stairs sealed his fate.

Against his better judgement, Roman turned to face his doom.

The "kid" looked much as he remembered. Cleaner perhaps, and he'd forsaken those ugly orange-on-black rags for a better ensemble. Pale shoes clicked across the floor, leading up into white trousers with a splash of red, bearing golden streaks nearly his likewise scarlet vest. Like a fox. Or a phoenix. Maybe both. He couldn't tell from this angle. Still, white and red. A nod to the Twins, no doubt. Cute. His dark gunmetal blue jacket signified what might have been loyalty to the Xiong Clan or something else entirely.

And yikes, didn't Melanie and Miltia just looked pissed as all hell to see him...?

"H-Hey." Despite himself, Roman found himself wishing he had another cigar. "Good to see you again. I wasn't aware you'd...ah...taken over."

Strangely enough, that irritated him. He saw it in his face as he stalked over. "I really haven't, but everyone certainly seems to think so...

Was that a confirmation? Against his better judgement, he persisted. "So you're the one running Hei's operation?"

"Stubborn bastard practically made it my operation, now. Isn't that right, girls? So. Roman, was it?"

Rather than pull up a seat, Naruto vaulted the bar and leaned over it to face him completely.

Melanie and Miltia took up flanking position on either side of him.

No escape. Not here. Not now. Not from this. Nope.

Naruto's forehead slammed against his.

"Let's talk."

A/N: Aaaand here we go! Once more, the Embers rule remains.

Sorry, I don't have time to write a story folks don't like.

If folks don't enjoy this story, POOF! Away it goes. So by all means, speak up! Every bit of feedback matters here!

Had to cut some parts till next time. Don't worry, they'll be worth it.

Reviews are eternal. Reviews are Immortal. Reviews are precious to me.

Sooooo...in the Immortal Words of Atlas...Review, Would You Kindly?

And enjoy the previews!

(Previews! Some are the same, others have been changed~!)

Silence reigned supreme.

Kurama scoffed into it. "You're actually considering this."

...maybe. I started this, and I owe 'em a debt. If someone comes for Hei and the twins because of me...

"I still say they're not worthy of chakra. The bunny, maybe. She's got some spine. But those three? Never."

"Maybe not." his fingers drummed restlessly against the desk, producing a steady cadence. "No reason I can't put them through the twins through a little test first."

"What're you thinking? Bell test? Hatake's ordeal had merit. See if they betray one another, or work together. Let them show their character. Maybe then I'll agree to this hare-brained scheme."

...huh. that's actually a really good idea...

...you can't choose your family."

"Maybe not. But I'm still going to kick his ass."

Adam growled. "I do not need your help, human."

"Human?" the blond before him blinked. "Adam, was it?" He rose slowly from his seat. The torches flickered around him "I haven't been human for a long time."

For a moment, his disguise shifted. Adam saw something he didn't like. His blood ran cold.

"What are you?"

"On vacation, that's what I am." just like that, his sunny smile returned. "Now are you going to put on your big boy pants and talk to me or do I have to kick your ass?"

It was a good swing. Anyone else would've been slain. Wilt shattered against his forehead.

Blue eyes flashed white. "Unfortunate."

His fist blurred.

Cinder inhaled deeply. "You WILL answer to me."

Roman actually dared to grin at her, the little churl! How dare he!

"Yeah, I don't think so, sweetheart." he flicked out a cigar and lit it. "There's been a change in management."

Smoke hit her face. She snapped. Roman saw it.

"Neo! Exit stage left!"

In hindsight, it wasn't hard to find him. There was just one problem.

Taiyang cocked his shotgun. "So he's here, then?!"

Yang groaned. "Daddy, no."

"DADDY YES!"

I didn't always have this power. I remember what it was like to be the little guy.

To be the outcast. To be the forgotten. Huh. Seems I can still feel anger.

You have my attention now. I hope its what you wanted."

R&R! =D