A/N: This update is a birthday gift for my friend Dani, who many of you might recognize as having done the cover art for this fic and the wonderful person who turned the first chapter into a comic! She's my main motivation for still trying to finish this fic, so you can thank her for that.
It was silent in the Proto-TRUK as Rook drove. He didn't have a destination in mind, he was just trying to prolong the inevitable while he thought. He'd said that he wanted to talk, but the right words escaped him. Where did he even begin?
In the passenger seat, Ben sat with his hands wrapped around a smoothie that he'd barely taken a few sips from. Rook's was left untouched in the cupholder. Bellwood was rapidly fading into the distance behind them as Rook drove out towards the desert. The pine trees and mountains of Bellwood's eastern border were easy to get lost in, but something compelled Rook to pick the desert scenery instead. Maybe it was because it reminded him of Revonnah. Maybe the emptiness and the vast horizon felt applicable.
The reasoning didn't matter. Rook drove until the road ahead was as empty as the road behind, then he stopped the TRUK. He didn't make a move to get out. There wasn't really a point.
Ben unbuckled himself and got comfortable, feigning nonchalance as he fixed Rook with a scrutinizing look. "So, do you feel like explaining yourself?" He prompted. "What's so important that you had to drag me out to the middle of nowhere just to talk about it?"
Rook opened his mouth and then closed it just as quickly. How was he supposed to answer that? He felt ridiculous for coming all the way out here — as if this would somehow make the conversation easier. Honestly, he just wanted to be alone with Ben, honestly.
With a sigh, Rook got out of the TRUK. He was parked on the side of the road, out of the way of traffic. His TRUK was angled to provide shade while also blocking them from the view of other drivers, and Rook slid down into the dirt with his back against his front tire. After a moment, Ben got out on the passenger side and mimicked him. Once he was sitting, Ben took a long, purposefully loud sip from his smoothie and offered Rook his with a pointed shake. He didn't say anything. It felt like Ben would be willing to sit there for hours while Rook collected himself.
Shaking his head, Rook laughed softly and accepted the drink. He sipped on it and the smoothie had no taste. Regardless, the sweet tang of apple sat heavy on Rook's tongue.
"About two weeks ago, you died," Rook said finally. He stared down at his drink. If he looked at Ben, he wouldn't be able to finish, so he took a deep breath and continued. "It was an accident, a job that should have been easily handled made complicated by a brief malfunction of the Omnitrix… I blamed myself. I was distraught, and inconsolable. The morning after it happened, I did not even want to get out of bed. But then I was late for patrol and, miraculously, you appeared to chew me out for my tardiness." Despite himself, the memory made Rook smile. "I assumed that what had happened was merely a bad dream. It was still Thursday, and you were alive. But then things began to repeat, exactly how they had in my dream. I knew about your mother's fruit juice cleanse, about the low-level criminals robbing a pharmaceutical company, and the press you would have to deal with after… And I knew that you were going to die. I could not save you. You died. Again." Rook finished with a whisper as his throat closed up. Even sitting next to Ben, who was clearly fine, it was difficult to talk about.
There was a lull where neither of them spoke. Rook was in no hurry to continue, and it seemed like Ben didn't know what to say, either. He set his drink aside and placed a hand on Rook's shoulder. "Rook…" Ben's voice was full of concern. "Whatever else happened, I'm here now. And I'm not going anywhere. I promise."
"You cannot promise that," Rook replied, his voice fond. He reached up and took hold of Ben's hand, wanting to feel it without gloves in the way. He rubbed his thumb along the back of Ben's hand to soothe himself. "You are a hero, Ben. One day, you will die, and it will most likely happen by your own choice. Some grand self-sacrifice serving a greater purpose. That is your nature." He sighed. "And as frustrating as it is, that is who you are. You will give your life for someone else without even stopping to think about it. If you were not that sort of person, I do not think that I could love you as much as I do," he admitted.
It was vexing to find himself at such a crossroads. The same traits that Rook admired about Ben so much would most likely be what killed him one day. He would let himself be crushed under a burning building for Rook. He would use his body as a shield, or a sacrifice, and he would not stop fighting until his heart stopped beating. That was who Ben Tennyson was. Rook would be a fool to want him any other way.
Though he was blushing, Ben looked more confused than flustered. He stared at their conjoined hands, making no move to pull away but not returning the intimacy, either. Rook hadn't expected him to.
"Where is all of this coming from?" Ben asked slowly. "Declaring your love to me like this… It isn't like you."
Rook laughed. "I know," he agreed. "I am trying to change that. As for falling in love with you… How could I not?" He shrugged. "I think that I have always loved you, Ben, even when I did not know what I was feeling or how to explain it. Spending two weeks in a time loop of the day you died merely solidified it." Ben sucked in a hard breath through his teeth and Rook continued, "Through it all, you were the only person that I really worried about. Family and friends all felt secondary. You were alive when I awoke every morning, but I did not feel complete unless I was able to see you. Losing you put a lot of things into perspective. Such as how much I love you, for example." Rook touched a hand to the paper rose still tucked behind Ben's ear, tracing his jaw with a feather-soft touch. He wanted Ben to know that he could pull away whenever he wanted to. "It also made me realize how little I have done to deserve you," he murmured.
Confusion aside, Ben Tennyson was not one to sit around silently while his friends bad-mouthed themselves. He frowned, reaching up and grabbing Rook's hand. Ben pulled it away from his face, but he kept their fingers intertwined. With both of their hands holding each others', Rook was hard-pressed to find it in himself to complain.
"I don't know what you're talking about when it comes to "deserving" me," Ben said with a roll of his eyes. "That's not how love works. It isn't something that you earn by jumping through the right hoops. I love you just because you're you, Rook." He smiled — the sort of soft, tentative smile that made Rook forget how to breathe. "That's all you need to be."
It was utterly asinine that Ben could say things like that and then expect Rook to not fall in love with him. How had he gotten it into his head that someone having a crush on him was ridiculous? Rook almost wanted to ask, but it wasn't his place to pry. And he didn't think that he would like the answer. He didn't want to think about the past, he just wanted them, together and present.
"True," Rook agreed. "Some level of unconditional love is paramount for healthy mental development, such as that from a person's parents, but although "deserving" love in and of itself is ridiculous, it is another thing entirely to deserve a person."
Ben shrugged. "Maybe, but I think that's still kind of stupid. If you want someone, and someone else wants you, what does it matter if you "deserve" it or not?"
"But you do not want me," Rook said with a sad smile.
There was a pause. Ben's brows furrowed as he tried to find some way to keep arguing. But, unable to lie, he had to concede the point with a nod. "No," he agreed. "I don't. Not in a romantic way, anyway. But that's not because you don't "deserve" me or whatever. That's just because I'm seeing someone else, and you…" Ben trailed off, looking away. "You've never expressed interest before. I never thought of you as an option."
It was funny to look back and realize what a terrible job Rook had done at correctly displaying his emotions over the course of their partnership. Even before that — Rook had probably developed a crush on Ben 10 as soon as he got his first poster as a child, and his denial had been so deep that he hadn't recognized it until the universe forced him to.
What Professor Paradox had said before suddenly made sense — that it was rare for there to be a universe where Rook fell in love. He couldn't imagine coming to this realization without having lost Ben. Worrying about him in the middle of a fight or watching him get kidnapped was one thing. It was another thing entirely to hold Ben's bloody, broken body while the light in his eyes faded.
"I do not blame you," Rook said at last. "I have done a horrible job at making my feelings clear. And for that, I would like to apologize."
"For what? Being a little bit terrible at this?" Ben gestured between them, as if to indicate "this." The fact that Ben was including his own short-comings just to make Rook feel better made his heart pound. "Get over yourself, dude. Everyone's pretty bad at communicating. Our different cultures definitely didn't help. But you know what they say — the first step on the road to recovery is realizing that you have a problem."
Rook raised an eyebrow. "Who are "they"? I have not known anyone to make such a statement." When he saw the look that Ben gave him, Rook smiled sheepishly. "Ah. An expression. Of course."
He really didn't understand the human fascination with saying things that weren't true. "Beating around the bush," as Ben would say. "Being difficult and nonsensical," as Rook would say.
There was a moment of silence between them while Ben thought. Rook didn't mind. He used the opportunity to stare at Ben, no longer concerned about keeping his affections a secret. He wanted to hold Ben's hands again; to cup his face; to kiss him.
He wanted to tell Ben that he loved him and have it be believed.
"What are you thinking about?" Ben asked quietly. He was staring at Rook intently, like he was trying to solve a puzzle. It was hopelessly cute.
"That I wish I could find a way out of this time loop," Rook said truthfully. "I would like to be able to tell you that I love you and have you reply with "I know," rather than with surprise every time."
Ben snorted. "How romantic," he said dryly.
"It does not need to be romantic." Rook shrugged. "I do not care if you never love me back. I would just like for you to understand how I feel. The way things are going…" He sighed. "It does not matter how many days I spend with you in this loop. I can never have the one thing that I want."
What he wanted wasn't Ben — not really. In an emotional and physical sense, Rook didn't care if Ben never loved him back or if the only direct contact he ever got was holding hands. For once, Rook wasn't thinking about himself. He just wanted Ben to know and understand that he was loved. It seemed like the people in Ben's life didn't make a habit out of telling him that, even though the evidence was all around him. Rook wondered if Ben would be surprised if he knew how strongly Kevin had reacted to news of his death. Would he be in disbelief if he knew that Gwendolyn had been inconsolable? What would Ben say if Rook told him of the way that Max's voice broke?
How was it possible that Ben didn't know how adored he was?
Before Rook could broach the subject, Ben said, "Well, how do you know the time loop can't be stopped? Maybe if we figure out what started it, we can reverse the effects. You've spent two weeks in the loop already, haven't you, Rook? Do you have any idea what started it? What makes this day important?"
In the cosmic sense, nothing. To Rook, though, he knew exactly what made this day important. "You died," he said simply.
That earned him a funny look as Ben struggled between being touched and exasperated. And maybe a little bit creeped out. "That isn't really what I had in mind when I said "important." My death wouldn't make time start to loop."
He was right, of course, but Rook still laughed. "You do not understand." He took Ben by the shoulders, drawing him closer so that they were staring into each other's eyes. Ben blinked but didn't pull away, though the grip that Rook had on him couldn't be very comfortable. "It has been a nightmare since you died, Ben. At first, that was all that I thought it was — a nightmare. But you kept dying, and you kept getting hurt. Sometimes I could talk you out of it. Sometimes I could not. I have shielded you with my body and watched you vomit in a public bathroom and I have thrown myself in front of a moving car in the faint hope that sacrificing myself would fix everything." At that, Ben started to protest, but Rook kept talking. "I spent the day with you helping your family decorate for Christmas, we spent a day together at the arcade, and I drove you out to the middle of nowhere near a frozen lake so that we could have a snowball fight like you wanted. I took you to Revonnah to declare my love of you in front of my family. We've played Sumo Slammers and made waffles and comforted a dying child in his hospital bed and learned how to make paper airplanes together. Ben." Rook fixed him with an intense look, because he'd said it already, but Ben still didn't understand. "I do not care about the rest of the universe. Losing you made my world stop. I love you."
Finally, there was comprehension. Ben's mouth fell open. This wasn't a stupid crush or Rook confusing friendship and romance. He would kill and die for Ben. There was nothing in his life as important.
"Oh," Ben uttered at last, looking faint. He said nothing else. What was there to say?
Rook relaxed his grip, pulling away from Ben and leaning bodily against the Proto-TRUK. He felt tired. Drained, almost. Despite that, he did feel good. He didn't blame Ben for not understanding — his track record with romantic love wasn't the greatest, and most of his closest relationships had started off rocky. Gwendolyn hadn't liked him when they were children, and Kevin had tried to kill him on multiple occasions. It wasn't Ben's fault that no one had ever grabbed him and explained, very plainly, how much they loved him.
When the tense silence became too much to bear, though, Rook decided to answer Ben's previous question. "As to what caused the loop… Plainly speaking, it was a force outside of our universe. This "time loop" is an alternate reality, of sorts, pinched off from what used to be our timeline." He shook his head. "As far as I know, there is no way to undo it. I do not mind. I would rather spend an eternity living the same day with you than die now."
Giving Ben a problem to focus on helped snap him out of his daze and the awkwardness between them faded. "Everything has a solution, Rook," he said. "We just need to think." He moved a little bit closer to Rook and began to draw in the sand with his finger. Although Rook didn't think that there was a solution, he leaned over to watch Ben draw anyway. "So, this line represents the original timeline. The one where I died," he specified, and Rook grimaced as Ben drew a straight line in the sand. "Here's where we bubbled off." He drew a circle above the middle of the line. "It might be possible to make time go forward again. I'd have to use Alien X to be sure." Ben frowned at his drawing as if it had personally wronged him. He glanced at Rook. "How come you remember time looping and I don't?"
An excellent question. Rook would have loved to say that it was all part of some divine plan, but instead, he huffed on a soft laugh and shook his head. "Chance," he said simply. "My consciousness apparently exists outside of my body, which is grounded in time." To illustrate his point, Rook placed a small pebble in the circle that Ben had drawn, and another one just outside of the border.
Ben stared at the crude diagram, then raised an eyebrow at Rook. "Apparently?"
"Or so it has been explained to me," Rook confirmed with a nod.
"Explained? Dude, your explanations are making everything make less sense," he groaned. "And physics is already my worst subject."
"Fair enough." Rook smiled in a way that was entirely too fond for the conversation at hand. When Ben responded by turning pink and quickly looking away, Rook cleared his throat and got the conversation back on track. "Earlier today, I was visited by a man who was able to travel through time. He told me that his job is to clean up the messy timelines. Ones like ours." He looked down at the diagram in the sand and frowned. "He knew you. I was under the impression that he has worked with you before. Or, some alternate version of you, at least."
"Maybe," Ben agreed. "I don't know any time travelers, but I've definitely heard of weirder stuff." He cupped his chin thoughtfully. "If that time traveler could enter this timeline, though…" He said slowly. "Then that must mean it's possible to exit it, too."
What Ben said felt like a no-brainer, but it took Rook a moment to follow what he was implying. "So… What?" He asked at last. "Do you want to leave this bubble? Abandon the universe and everyone in it?"
"No, of course not!" Ben shook his head. "I was just thinking out loud. Maybe it's possible to…" He drew another line — this one came out the top of the circle and made a sharp right turn, continuing parallel to the line representing the original universe. Ben hesitated. "I should use Alien X. I want to be sure of something."
"Wait." Rook grabbed Ben by the wrist as he made a move to stand up, hesitating. "You have already tried Alien X," he said at last. "It did not do anything. I do not want to have you gone for the rest of the day, Ben." He debated whether or not to say more, before letting go of Ben and adding, "I do not mind living in a time loop. I have come to terms with it. I would rather enjoy spending time with you than worry about when all of this is going to end."
Maybe not wanting to fix things was selfish of him — it was like a scaled-up version of leaving those people in a burning building just for Ben's sake. But, honestly, Rook didn't particularly care. He'd dedicated his life to helping innocents when he joined the Plumbers, and it had never made him happy.
What he'd been chasing all along hadn't been intergalactic justice or wild adventures. It had been Ben. It had always been Ben.
Rook didn't want to run anymore. For once, he was well and truly content. He could even be happy like this.
The smile that Ben gave him was sad. "Rook, I have to try," he murmured. "It's the least I can do for you, after all you've done for me. If it doesn't work, and I don't transform back, then we never have this conversation again. You can stop asking me to help. You can even tell me that I said this, and I won't try Alien X again. Alright?"
It spoke volumes that Ben was perfectly capable of transforming into Alien X anyway, and yet was still determined to get Rook's approval beforehand. He didn't say anything about the other people in the universe. Even as a car drove by on the road behind them, it was as if Ben had also forgotten that the world existed outside of the two of them.
"What makes you think that it will be any different the second time around?" Rook asked finally.
"Alien X works best when I already have an idea in mind of what I want to do once I transform," Ben explained. "I guess it's kind of weird, since Alien X exists outside of time…" He frowned. "Anyway, if you said I already transformed into him, then it should be fine. I'll transform right back if Bellicus and Serana aren't in a good mood."
Even though Rook knew that Ben couldn't promise him something like that, it made him feel better anyway. "Do you promise?" He asked as he got to his feet.
"Cross my heart," Ben confirmed with a nod. He made a familiar gesture, crossing two fingers over the left side of his chest.
Anatomically, the gesture was incorrect, as the human heart sat in the middle of the chest, not to any one side as was commonly perpetrated in pop culture. Regardless, it was the second time that Rook had seen Ben do that gesture, and he finally understood the meaning of the phrase:
I promise you.
He would just have to take Ben's word for it. Rook was not able to refuse Ben anything, even if it meant spending the day alone. Still, if it didn't work, what was one day compared to all of the others they would end up having together? Letting Ben try Alien X a second time with a clear goal in mind couldn't hurt anything.
As Ben reached for the Omnitrix, Rook again grabbed his right hand. This time, it wasn't to restrain. Rook tugged Ben closer and kissed him gently on the forehead. "Best of luck," he said when he pulled back, meeting Ben's eyes as he attempted to cram all of his affection into those three words.
Ben blushed brilliantly, opening his mouth to reply. Evidently, he couldn't find the words, because all he did was nod. He gave Rook's hand a squeeze and then pulled away, activating the Omnitrix this time without resistance. He brought up Alien X and paused, giving Rook one last look before pushing the dial down.
There was a surge of green light, so bright that it was blinding and Rook had to cover his eyes. His first thought was that something had gone wrong — Ben's transformations were never usually that powerful, even for Alien X. Rook blinked his eyes open and did a double take.
The desert and his Proto-TRUK were gone. Rook found himself standing on a platform that he couldn't see. As with Professor Paradox before, he'd found himself in a featureless void. Only this time, it wasn't dark.
As far as the eye could see, there were stars. Millions of them, winking against the black backdrop of deep space. Then Rook looked closer and was stunned a second time. They weren't stars at all, but rather entire galaxies. The space between them wasn't black, either. The longer Rook stared, the more his eyes adjusted, and he could see red and purple clouds of space dust, looping their way between galaxies like strings with lone protostars sprinkled between. Even as the universe expanded and galaxies were pushed away from each other, some tiny part of them remained connected.
"It's pretty, right?" Asked a voice from behind him.
Rook whirled around, and wasn't surprised at all to see Ben standing there. He had his hands in his pockets, and he looked relaxed. "Ben…" He didn't think that he would get an answer, but it didn't hurt to ask. "What is this place?"
"Isn't it obvious?" Ben asked with a grin that said he knew very well that it wasn't. He walked over to stand next to Rook, looking out over the view. "We're inside of Alien X. There's not normally a floor," he added, tapping his foot against the solid nothingness beneath them pointedly, "but I thought you might feel better if you were standing."
For a while, Rook was quiet, surveying their surroundings. It was beautiful, and he would have liked to enjoy the view with Ben, but he couldn't. There was something nagging at him. He didn't want to ask what he was thinking and, although Ben probably knew what Rook was thinking, he didn't seem in any hurry to speak up.
"Why am I inside of Alien X?" Rook asked at last. He looked at Ben as he spoke, not wanting to look away. The view of the universe didn't compare to Ben, and Rook was grappling with the uncomfortable feeling that he would never get to experience this again. He had the mounting sensation that something was wrong.
"I just wanted to talk to you, so you understand what's going to happen," Ben admitted. He stared out at the view, gaze focused on a non-specific spot with laser-like intensity. "I've already talked with Bellicus and Serana. It took some convincing, but in the end, they both agreed that this was the best possible outcome. If not for me, then at least for you."
When Rook swallowed, his throat felt like it was swollen shut. He reminded himself to breathe. "Ben. What did you do?"
Despite the mounting sense of dread, Rook couldn't look away. He finally understood what was so wrong about this interaction:
It felt like they were saying goodbye.
Ben gave him a sad little smile. "Rook…" A pause. "Blonko," he corrected himself, turning to face Rook. "You said it yourself — your mind exists outside of your body right now. That's why you remember the time loops and I can't. And that also means I can't follow you outside of this bubble."
Already, Rook was shaking his head. He knew exactly where Ben was going with this, and he didn't want to hear it. "I don't care," he insisted, not caring enough to watch his language. He grabbed Ben by the shoulders. "I want to stay with you. Ben… I can't do this alone. Not anymore," he murmured.
"You won't be alone," Ben promised. "Alien X can create another universe. It will be exactly like the one before the time loop. Except this time, I won't die, and time will be able to move forward. You'll have a new body, one that you'll actually be grounded in. And I'll be there, too." He shrugged. "Well, a version of me, anyway. I'm sure that you won't even be able to tell the difference. And, remember: What I'm about to do... It might not even work," Ben added, like that was much better.
"So what?" Rook snapped. "I'm not in love with Ben 10, I'm in love with you! And I refuse to leave you alone in a universe that's doomed to die!"
His eyes fond, Ben shook his head. "I get what you're trying to say. Really, I do," Ben assured him. "But, y'know, that hero façade that I put on is still a part of me, Rook. I am Ben 10. I'm Ben Tennyson, too. Or just Ben if we're friends." His smile was patient, and Rook knew with a terrible amount of certainty that nothing he said would change Ben's mind. He'd probably made his decision long before he transformed. "Look, Rook… This new universe that I make won't be any different from the old one. I'll still be me, and you'll still be you."
"But…" Rook struggled for some way to articulate what he was feeling, searching Ben's expression helplessly. "But it will not be the same."
"Look at me, Blonko." Ben took hold of Rook's hands, his eyes burning with intensity. "I'm not going to let you stay in this universe and die if you can get out somehow. The copy that I make will be just like the original, I promise. Functionally, it'll be the same, down to the smoothie stains on my bedroom carpet." He tried for a smile. "I get that this is weird and difficult, but you're going to be fine. I bet you won't even notice the difference."
Rook squeezed Ben's hands desperately, like he was clutching a lifeline. "And what will happen to you? To my body?"
Ben shrugged, his smile turning strained. "Well, I guess with your consciousness gone, it'll functionally just be a corpse. I don't really want to wake up every day and have to bury my best friend, even if I won't remember it. You said that this universe is going to end someday anyway, so once you're gone…" Ben let go of one of Rook's hands to make a popping motion.
On paper, it sounded like the perfect deal. This universe was going to cease to exist. It would be painless and instant. In the meantime, Rook would get to live in another universe, identical save for the time loop. He would have the rest of his life to spend with Ben.
But it wouldn't be the same. He would carry this knowledge with him forever. How was he going to be able to look Ben in the eyes, knowing that he'd left a version of him behind to die in a doomed universe?
"I can't," Rook said. "I love you."
The look that Ben gave him was almost pitying. "And you'll love him," he assured Rook. "He'll love you, too."
Alarmed, Rook went stiff. "You do not mean—?" He couldn't finish.
"What?" Ben's brow furrowed in confusion, then his eyes widened as he understood. "Oh, no! I'm not going to design a version of myself just to fall in love with you," he said with a roll of his eyes. "I just mean that he'll love you the way that I do — like my best friend. And who knows?" Ben shrugged one shoulder. "Maybe one day, if you win him over…"
Rook was hyper-aware of where their hands were still interlocked. Ben made no move to pull free.
At this point, Rook was running out of ways to refuse. What Ben was offering sounded almost perfect. Rook just wished that it didn't mean leaving him behind. Sure, a universe created to be exactly identical to the old one was exactly what he needed, but deep down, he'd always know that the Ben in the next reality wasn't "his."
"Is he…?" Rook started to ask, then trailed off. He shook himself and straightened. If he was going to do this, he might as well accept it. "Are you going to remember this conversation?"
Ben looked surprised for a split-second, then shook his head. "No. The version of me that you meet when you wake up tomorrow is going to be brand new. Relatively speaking, I guess." He made a face. "I can't just start a universe wherever I feel like in time. If I create a universe, it still has to start from nothing. So if you were to time travel in the new universe, you would still be able to go back to everything that's already happened, and I'll remember all of that stuff, too, obviously. But from your perspective, it's new, so—"
"I understand what you meant." Rook reclaimed Ben's other hand and brought it up to his mouth, pressing a kiss to the back of it as he held eye-contact with Ben. He was trying to think positively, so he forced a smile and said, "I am looking forward to falling in love with you again."
"Dork." With a playful snort, Ben reclaimed his hand and pushed Rook away. Despite that, his face was pink. "Waxing poetic should probably be saved for after the first date. But, if you want my advice — which you should, because I know myself better than anyone…" Ben gave him a secretive little smile. "I'd buy a bundle of Forget-Me-Nots."
Even though Rook didn't know what that flower symbolized, the name told him plenty. He rolled his eyes. "Hilarious," he said dryly.
He wasn't trying to be funny, but then Ben started laughing. And once he did, Rook found it hard to resist joining in. They stood there at the beginning of the end of the universe, laughing until they were both doubled over and clutching their stomachs.
Rook's laughter died in his throat when Ben suddenly threw his arms around Rook, pulling him into a tight hug. "I'm going to miss you," he whispered fiercely. "I can't believe you did all of that for me. You really love me, don't you, Blonko?"
Tears stung in his eyes and Rook blinked them away. He hugged Ben back hard enough to bruise. "You loved me first," he whispered into Ben's hair. "Before I appreciated you, and long before I loved myself, you loved me."
Sure, maybe Ben's feelings weren't romantic. And maybe they never would be. But his love was real all the same. He'd understood Rook long before Rook understood Ben, and he had been nothing but supportive as Rook struggled with his sense of self. It didn't matter that the looping days erased Ben's memories — he didn't need to change anything about himself in order to love Rook properly.
It was silent between the two of them as they held each other. Rook never wanted to pull away but, eventually, Ben did it for them. He stepped out of the hug and held out his fist instead. "It's been an honor, partner," he said with a smile. It was the same smile he had given Rook every day since they met, yet something about that moment made it look excruciatingly brilliant. Or maybe it had always been brilliant and Rook had been too blind to notice it before.
If Ben was upset about being moments away from dying, he didn't show it. He looked almost serene. Rook wished that he could have that amount of confidence.
"See you on the other side, Ben," Rook replied once he reminded himself how to speak. He returned the fistbump with a strange mixture of dread and relief. All he could think was, 'I love you, I love you, I love you.' He had already said it plenty of times, but Rook wanted to say it again. He didn't want to leave Ben with any doubts.
The words never got past his throat. As soon as their knuckles brushed, the universe around them was swallowed by a flash of green light. Through it, Rook could faintly make out the galaxies moving around him, as if Alien X had finally been given permission to move. At the center of the light, Ben's silhouette faced him. He lingered for a moment before turning away, fading as the light grew brighter. Rook tried to reach him — for what purpose, he wasn't sure — but his efforts were pointless. He squeezed his eyes shut as they began to burn, and then he was gone.
A/N: When will I update again? Who knows.