A/N: I think I've made Jellal and Erza act like drama king and queen in this oneshot, although Jellal is drama king in the manga.
Although she's pound of how she looks and she's not shy from showing her assets, Erza Scarlet is never one who will be overly conscious of her physical features. She knows that appearance isn't a woman's everything. She believes that it's things which are invisible, things such as morality, character and heart, which truly define her value.
Then why does she suddenly become extremely concerned about how Jellal feels about her hand when he takes it in his hands? Erza asks herself in her heart feeling a little bit anxious.
It's also not like they have never held hands before. There was that time when he couldn't remember anything but her last name and didn't know what to do. So she extended her hand – covered with the mental glove of her armor – to him to help him standing up to face the unknown future. There was also that time when she was unable to fight anymore and all she could do was lying on the ground to wait for the mini dragons to end her life. So it was his turn to give her a hand after he wiped out the enemies. Yet, she didn't really have the chance to come up with any thought about their holding hands at that moment once Miliana entered the scene.
But Erza does understand that the circumstances Jellal and she are in now are different from the ones in which they had their hands clasped together in the past.
They are not having a battle to fight and neither of them has lost their memory or is in danger. The day is an ordinary one to her as what she has done so far is doing some routine things in Fairy Tail like stopping Natsu and Gray from fighting, chatting with the girls and having a piece of strawberry cake. And although she doesn't consider Jellal's sudden visit as something ordinary to happen, his presence is definitely not a threat to worry about and she is more than happy to see him again.
"Can we talk in private?"
The Master of Crime Sorciere enquired when she asked him about the purpose of his visit. She answered him with "Sure!" because deep in her heart she wanted to spend their time together in private too. So she led him to where they are currently at, that is the backyard of the Fairy Tail's guild building, after telling all the members not to disturb them.
She's now sitting on a gray stone bench but Jellal is down on one knee in front of her, holding her right hand with both of his hands and having his eyes fixed on their hands as well.
"Erza, I have something personal to ask you."
The blue haired man says while tightening his grip on Erza's hand.
Erza tenses up as she vividly feels them against Jellal's palms that are thick, soft, warm and protective like a leather glove enveloping her hand. First, there are her finger joints, which have grown prominent and big over the years to meet her needs to master her large and heavy weapons. Next, there is the horny skin on the underside of her fingers, where small calluses have formed from the pressure she constantly put on her fingers to grip her weapons firmly in her hand. Then there is her palm, slightly calloused, coarse and cracked, as it often rubs against the handles of her weapons when she swings those weapons to launch an attack at her opponent.
She can't help cringing as she comes to the conclusion that it can't be something pleasant for Jellal to hold her hand.
But Jellal is totally oblivious to Erza's worry since he's too nervous about what he's going to say. He raises his head to look at Erza and opens his mouth to speak again after taking in a deep breath.
"I wonder if you would do me the honor of being –"
He abruptly stops his speech failing to even finish the first sentence and his heart stops beating for a second as Erza sharply retreats her hand from his grip.
A deadly silence instantly fills up the space between them. Both his hands and her hand freeze in the midair and two pairs of eyes widen in surprise while looking at each other.
"I-I'm sorry Jellal! I –"
Having come out from her deep thought finally and realized her rudeness, Erza breaks the silence with an unusual high pitched tone.
"It's okay."
Jellal whispers his response interrupting Erza's apology while standing up in one swift motion and immediately talking a few steps back away from Erza.
Erza rolls her eyes shaded with slight disappointment to peek at the man who decided to put some distance between them. She finds his head hanging low and his eyes seeming to focus on his hands which are being held up in front of his chest with palms facing upward. Then, she feels her heart twitch at the sight of his thin lips curving up into a sad smile.
"I should have known better." Speaking with a small voice, Jellal is more like talking to himself than to Erza. "There's no way I'll be entitled to hold your hands as your lover with this pair of hands for those sinful and unforgiveable things they had done to you and many others."
Lowering his hands to his sides, he takes a quick glance at Erza.
"I'm sorry for the uninvited visit. I think I should take my leave now." He mutters and turns around to walk to the door leading back into the guild hall.
"It's a misunderstanding!"
Erza jumps up from where she sits and runs to Jellal as realization hits her that he has just tried to confess to her, grabbing one of his hands to stop him from leaving the backyard.
"It has nothing to do with your hands or your past! It's my hands!"
Turning his head back after hearing Erza's words, Jellal looks down at Erza with a half heartbroken and half confused expression on his face.
"My hands…they are…" Erza's face starts to heat up and turns red as she tries to explain her previous misleading reaction while looking into Jellal's eyes, feeling embarrassed to admit how bad she feels about her hands in front of the man she loves. "They are rough. They are callous. They are…ugly." Her voice turns low as she averts her gaze from Jellal. "And I didn't think you would enjoy holding them."
They once again fall into a short silence while Jellal processes Erza's explanation in his head.
"There's no need for you to comfort me, Erza." With the belief that Erza is only trying to not hurt him with the truth using her hands as an excuse, Jellal forces a smile on his face and speaks with a calm and gentle voice instead of a shaking and broken one at his best, not wanting to make Erza feel bad about rejecting him. "I know my sins better than anyone else. It's understandable that you don't consider me being the one who deserves to take your hands. Certainly you can find someone who's better than me."
He expects Erza to release his hand from her grip and may be let out a sigh of relief knowing that he understands her difficulties. But to his surprise, she snaps her head up to glare at him with fire in her eyes and squeezes his hand hard almost like she's trying to break his fingers.
"No! I wasn't comforting you Jellal! I was telling you the truth!" Erza absolutely hates it when Jellal think that he don't deserve her. Any embarrassment she felt earlier is now replaced by irritation. "I know it was stupid for me to get panic just because I thought that my hands weren't smooth and soft enough for you to hold them, but you are more stupid than me if you really still think that you don't deserve me because of the wrong things you did in the past! You have done more than enough right things with your hands to redeem for your sins and you know that you have earned my forgiveness a long time ago!"
Erza takes a short pause and inhales deeply to calm herself down after noticing the shock on Jellal's face before continuing.
"I'm sorry for shouting at you." Her voice now sounds softer and she lowers her head. "I just can't stand seeing you belittling yourself, again."
Jellal watches Erza letting go of his hand and hiding hers at her back as he continues to work out a response in his head with the hope of making things right between Erza and him again, having digested every word Erza has said and realized the mistakes he has made.
"I…I thought that I've overcome my self-loathing." He begins cautiously.
"But the feeling just hit me hard again when I thought that you didn't want me to hold your hand. It was strong and it clouded my judgment, causing me to ignore your explanation and to take your action and words in a very wrong way. You were right. I was stupid. You were doing the right thing to knock some senses back in my head with the harsh attitude. So there was nothing you should feel sorry for."
"Also," He stretches his hands out to grab Erza's elbows and pull at them gently, making her forearms and hands hidden at her back to come forwards. "please know that your hands are not ugly."
He runs his hands down along her forearms until they reach her hands, then holds each of them tightly in one of his own.
His action causes shivers to run down Erza's spine.
"They may be a little bit calloused and coarse but they are still stunningly beautiful in my eyes." He looks at her hands with tender gaze. "They show me the spirit, the strengths and the glories which make you the Titania. I'd happily hold them for the rest of my life giving them my support and protection if I'm allowed to."
The red dusting Erza's cheeks turns into a darker shade and is now evident all over her face while her heart beats at an unusual fast rhythm since what Jellal has just said makes her feel like being proposed.
"I-isn't t-this t-too fast?" She murmurs with shaky voice.
Jellal clears his throat nervously, also noticing that he may have suggested something too far with that statement of holding Erza's hands for the rest of his life.
"Erza, I would like to finish what I was trying to ask you earlier."
Erza raises her head, meeting Jellal's olive green eyes with her chocolate brown ones. She then nods her agreement, not trusting her voice to speak.
"Will you…do me the honor of being my girlfriend, Erza? Seeing how Erik and Kinana work out their relationship makes me realize that I've given up ours too easily. And now I understand that if your happiness is truly what matters to me the most, what I should do is to make an effort in bringing happiness to you, not to stay away from you with the excuse of punishing myself. I really hope that it's not too late for me to try to make you happy by offering you my love."
"No, it's not."
Yanking on Jellal's hands Erza effectively makes his upper body bend forward to her and once his face comes only inches away from hers, she stands on tiptoe to press her lips against his, unable to hold back her excitement anymore.
Unprepared for a kiss initiated by Erza, Jellal freezes on the spot. But the surprise dies down after several seconds and he becomes very aware of how soft and how warm Erza's lips feel against his own. He closes his eyes in bliss and starts kissing Erza back with full force, making her stand back on her heels again. The needs to not only taste Erza better but also to feel her body against his quickly grow, so Jellal frees Erza's hands from his hold and wraps his arms around her waist, pressing her front against his while sliding his tongue into her mouth to deepen their kiss.
They separate from each other when air in their lungs runs out.
"You know," Jellal rests his foreheads on Erza's, panting lightly. "I never expected you to answer my question in such way."
"Do you mean you don't like it then?" Smirking, Erza challenges Jellal; her face is still bright red due to the heated kiss and the high spirit she's in.
"I love it."
As if to prove his words, Jellal leans down to kiss Erza again.