I am a spy.

I am a noble Jedi-spy.

The thought almost made Obi-Wan laugh bitterly. It was so ludicrous. All of this was… so wrong. Nevertheless, Obi-Wan needed to find out the truth – whatever that meant. He needed to know. Not only because the Council had asked it of him, no, he also needed to find out for himself. He regarded Anakin as a friend, he cared for him very much, he… The idea that it could just be a farce hurt. He wanted so badly to believe that Anakin was innocent. And he hated himself for doubting his friend's integrity.

Obi-Wan felt thoroughly bad, guilty, nervous and suspicious when Anakin returned from the negotiations. Anakin, however, seemed to be in a relatively good mood.

"Hello," he greeted Obi-Wan friendly. "Everything's settled. We can go home now."

"Erm, no, I'm afraid we can't," Obi-Wan said cautiously. "The Council has given you a new assignment. We must go to Senali."

Anakin's face dropped – though only for a second. He quickly put his serene, detached Jedi demeanour back on. "Alright. Did they give you some information or do they want to speak to me?"

"I've got some information," Obi-Wan replied while they were walking back to their tent. "That's why I didn't get to pack our things yet," he explained in what he hoped was a convincing voice. He had planned it: If they packed their things and struck the tent together it meant they would have to talk to each other and it gave Obi-Wan the chance to find out...whatever about Anakin.

"Sure. When do I have to arrive on Senali?"

"Three days. Going back to Coruscant and then to Senali would be a detour. It's shorter if we take the direct route."

"Did you just say 'we'?"

"What?"

"Do you mean to say you're coming too?"

"Of course."

"Why?" Anakin asked, confused.

Obi-Wan winced slightly. He really hoped Anakin believed him. "There are not enough starfighters to spend one for me to simply go back to the Temple."

"That's..." Anakin sighed deeply. "I'm sure there will be a shuttle on Senali which goes to Coruscant. And if there's not, I'll make sure you get a starfighter."

"But why?" Obi-Wan asked in shock. That couldn't happen; Anakin must not send him away!

"Why what?"

"Why do I have to go back?"

"I thought you wanted to go looking for your Master?"

Obi-Wan did not know what to say to that. He had not thought about that point at all. Damn it, I should have never told Anakin about it. The last time he had been sent on a mission with Anakin he had protested vehemently because he wanted to search for Master Dooku, and now he suddenly wanted to come with Anakin? That must look pretty odd to Anakin...

"Obi-Wan, listen, I don't care what the Council says," Anakin said gently. "I will not force you to come with me another time. Go back, go looking for your Master. I don't want to get into your way by dragging you along from one end of the galaxy to the other."

"But I want to come with you!" Obi-Wan spluttered helplessly.

Anakin blinked. "You – you mean it? Why would you..."

"I don't want to sit around in the Temple, meditating, while you're risking your neck somewhere out in the galaxy. It would make me feel so… useless."

"But what about Dooku?"

"Let's be realistic, Anakin," Obi-Wan tried to sound rationally. "He could be anywhere in the galaxy. As long as there are no signs of life from him, I can't do anything."

"But you said you felt something in the Force," Anakin insisted. "Search your feelings, Obi-Wan."

"I've tried," Obi-Wan retorted, "but I can't feel anything. I have no idea where he could be. If he's sill alive."

"Okay. So you really want to come?"

"Yes." For reasons of credibility, Obi-Wan added, "If it doesn't bother you."

"Bother me?" Anakin repeated. "Not at all! I haven't had such a good mission as this one for years. Normally, the Council sends me on missions alone. It's good to have someone around. You're a great help to me."

Obi-Wan shrugged it off. "I know there's not much I can do but I can at least make sure you eat and sleep occasionally."

Anakin gave him one of his rare smiles. At that, Obi-Wan's heart contracted painfully. Anakin thought he really wanted to come in order to support him. What would he think of Obi-Wan once he found out he was betraying him?

"I mean it, Obi-Wan," Anakin said earnestly. "Thank you for coming with me."

Obi-Wan nodded and quickly turned away. "Let's... I mean, you should perhaps inform the clone troopers of our next destination. I'm going to pack our things in the meantime."

"Alright, see you."

Shit! Stars End, I cannot do this! Burying his face in his hood, Obi-Wan hurried back to their tent and threw himself into his work. This spying job made him feel so shabby! He wanted to keep distance between him and Anakin – then it would not be such a terrible betrayal. But at the same time, he needed their relationship to become closer, he needed to make Anakin confide in him. He already saw the scenes in his mind: Anakin, who came back earlier than expected from a battle and thus overheard Obi-Wan telling the Council about the latest secrets he had made Anakin confess to him. Anakin's hurt and angry expression. He would send Obi-Wan back and they would never speak to each other again.

He needs help. I'm only worried about him, that's why I'm asking that of you. Obi-Wan desperately wanted to believe what Master Windu had told him. Maybe Anakin really needed help. I think this war doesn't do him good. He's too young. That was what the clone commander had told Obi-Wan. Maybe he was right. Maybe it was this horrible war which was destroying the once cheerful and big-hearted boy, who had smiled so often. Yes, Obi-Wan convinced himself. He needed to do this in order to help Anakin. If he had taken down a path the wrong side, Obi-Wan would help him come back. He only had Anakin's best interests at heart.

The rationalisation worked – though only for a short moment.

ooooooo

The journey to Senali was not very long. Anakin was busy with reading information on the situation on Senali. Obi-Wan was relieved he could put it off a bit longer. Senali seemed a beautiful planet. Much of its surface was covered with seas and islands shining in the blue water like pearls. Anakin stepped next to Obi-Wan, who was looking out of the spaceship's window during the landing approach.

"I've been here before," Anakin said softly. "With Qui-Gon. I think I was about 15 years old. Yes, 15 or 16. It all comes back now."

"You mean the memories of that mission?" Anakin nodded. "Good memories?" Obi-Wan asked cautiously.

"Yes. Definitely good memories." Lost in thought, Anakin stared out of the window.

"It looks like a beautiful planet," Obi-Wan continued the conversation. "Much water... I've always liked water."

"I know. When I was looking for you, I would always go into the Room of a Thousand Fountains. That was the only place where you meditated properly."

"Yes, I could never meditate when there were too many people around. Water and the peaceful atmosphere in the Room of a Thousand Fountains always helped me. And what about you? Which places do you like?"

"I like the stars, I think. Looking up at them makes everything look so small and unimportant."

"Small and unimportant?" Obi-Wan repeated interestedly. "What's good about unimportant?"

"Unimportant in a way that... your little worries and problems become unimportant. You can look up in the sky and see that there are so many other people who are worried and have their problems. You are just one of them. And there are so many other planets. And there were so many people before you and there are many to come after you. You see all the other systems – some of which do not even exist anymore. In such moments, I feel closer to understanding the Force than ever. I am not important, my problems will pass, and my life will not make a difference in this big universe. I feel that I'm in the hands of a greater force, the Force. Then it becomes meaningful: The Force binds us, it holds us together..." Anakin rubbed his forehead and threw Obi-Wan a side glance. "Do I bore you with my not so very sophisticated Force philosophies?"

"Not at all," Obi-Wan reassured him. "Go on."

"There's not much to go on..." Anakin heaved a deep sigh. "I wonder what this place will look like in a few days. We come here with the mission to bring peace but we leave only destruction."

Obi-Wan listened attentively. Here it was. Now he had to get some confessions out of Anakin's mouth. "So you think this war is wrong?"

"Yes."

Obi-Wan swallowed. So the Council's suspicions were not made up out of thin air. "Why?" he asked, his voice slightly trembling.

"War is always wrong."

"You think we should leave this planet to the Separatists?" Obi-Wan prodded.

"Maybe. Maybe that would be better for the inhabitants. They would have to live under the Separatists' rule, yes, but they would still be alive and their planet's nature and towns would not be destroyed."

"But that would mean enslavement!"

"So what?" Anakin retorted sharply. "Oh yes, there are always the heroic ones, the loud ones, who say, 'I will die for freedom!' But I bet you'd get very different answers if you asked a mother or a father, 'Would you rather want your children dead or dependant?' Haven't you seen people grieving for their beloved ones? At that moment, they couldn't care less for freedom or democracy."

"And that's exactly the reason why the Jedi Code forbids attachment. Don't you see it? If you have attachments, you become selfish and you care more for the few people who are special to you than for the greater good."

Shaking his head uncomprehendingly, Anakin looked severely at Obi-Wan. "Am I to tell them that next time? 'Stop being so selfish. Your child must be sacrificed for the greater good'. I wonder what is so good about this greater good that it is worth to sacrifice innocent children for it. And then what do we have? Democracy, yeah, that's great. And a galaxy without attachment... I don't think it would work."

"Where do you get such ideas from?" Obi-Wan asked directly.

"You get such ideas if you see people die," Anakin said darkly. "I can't help but wonder what they are dying for."

"I understand that, I think we should let the Separatists do as they wish," Obi-Wan lied. It was his new tactic. He pretended to favour the Separatists and maybe Anakin would tell him more if he felt sure to say it because Obi-Wan shared his opinion. Let's just hope I don't get myself into signing up for the Separatists. "The Separatists' rule would be better than this senseless killing." Anakin threw him a funny glance, so Obi-Wan quickly continued. "But there's nothing we can do to stop it, is there? I mean, we can't go against the Council and the Senate."

"Yes, because we're Jedi and we have sworn our oaths. That's the reason, isn't it? Sometimes I wonder what–" But at that precise moment, Anakin was interrupted by a clone trooper who informed him that they were ready to debark. Obi-Wan cursed that trooper for disrupting their conversation. He was so sure Anakin had been close to saying something important concerning the Separatist movement. Obi-Wan wasn't completely certain what he had found out so far. Anakin had proved to be very critical of this war and the Jedi principles but, so far, it did not sound as if he had any evil motives. He seemed only compassionate – maybe he cared too much for people, if that was even possible. Maybe he could not cope with what he had seen in war. And now he was looking for an alternative and was contemplating the Separatists, which was, of course, the wrong way. In any case, Obi-Wan was sure Anakin's actions were only born from the will to do good.

ooooooo

They had still two free days left until the delegates from the Separatists would arrive. There were of course meetings with important politicians from Senali and its neighbour planet Rutan, there were preparations in case it came to a war... However, the atmosphere was relaxed, Senali really was a nice planet, their inhabitants were hospitable (many still remembered Anakin from his last mission and wanted to invite him to dinner), its nature was peaceful... Nothing suggested that a war could break loose in a few days. The Senalians did not seem to consider the possibility that something like that could happen on their lovely home planet.

Obi-Wan used the free time to gather information on Senator Amidala because part of his duty…well, spying job was to find out more about the relationship between Anakin and her. He did not really enjoy reading all the holo-tabloids with all the extremely dumb headlines.

THE QUEEN AND HER JEDI KNIGHT IN SHINING ARMOUR – A WONDERFUL FAIRY TALE. WILL THERE BE A HAPPY END?

PADMÉ AMIDALA: THE CHOSEN ONE'S CHOSEN ONE.

THE LONE WARRIOR – NOT ALONE ANYMORE?

And the pictures… They were even worse. They showed Anakin and Senator Amidala looking in shock into the holocamera as if they had been caught in the act. There were several pictures showing the two of them embracing. Or just smiling at each other. There was one holograph of Senator Amidala wearing a very revealing evening dress and Anakin wrapping an arm around her slim shoulders.

CORUSCANT'S NEW DREAM COUPLE

Obi-Wan glared at the picture in frustration. Of course they were a dream couple. They looked perfect together. For some reason, that bothered him greatly…and not only because he was worried about Anakin breaking the Jedi Code.

Obi-Wan went on with his research, this time looking for Senator Amidala's political activities and not for rumours. Though, Obi-Wan had to admit it to himself, he did not really believe anymore it were just rumours.

Among all the speeches against the war and the armament, he found something else: She led a campaign which was to abolish slavery on Tatooine. Slavery… Tatooine… The pieces started to fall into place. This could not be coincidence anymore. There were too many planets where slavery still existed. So why had Senator Amidala chosen Tatooine of all planets? Obi-Wan did not like the answer. He did not like any of this.

So he tried to ignore his duty and spent more time on improving his lightsaber skills instead. It was odd but he thought he was getting better without Master Dooku watching him critically all the time. And yet, no matter how much his technique improved, he wanted nothing more but to have his strict, critical, dignified Master back. Sometimes Obi-Wan had suffered under Dooku's strict teaching and his detached attitude, sometimes he had wished for a Master who was more like Qui-Gon Jinn, he had longed for more warmth and intimacy in their relationship. But only now that his Master was not with him anymore, he realised how much he needed him, needed him not only as a teacher but also as a father figure. Master, did I ever tell you how much you mean to me?

Obi-Wan stopped in his lightsaber moves. Master Dooku would be really disappointed of me right now. I linger in the past; I let my attachment towards him disturb my training... He could almost hear his Master's deep voice: Concentrate, Padawan. You are not paying attention to your surroundings. Your stabs are not precise. Watch your footwork. Smiling slightly to himself, Obi-Wan tensed his muscles and concentrated on the flow of the Force. He started with a series of rather basic katas anew. He always trained the easiest moves again and again. His earlier lightsaber combat teacher Soara Antana had influenced him that much. The easy moves were the important ones. You hardly needed the complex ones in real battle. It was essential to master the basic moves so you could rely on them without thinking.

Finally, after all the years of hard training in Dooku's special lightsaber technique, Obi-Wan felt he was getting – very slowly but steadily – to a level where this was happening, where his arms and legs were moving automatically. At least he hoped he was getting there. Maybe he had only this illusion because he did not see every day how well Master Dooku fought and how much he still had to learn.

Obi-Wan felt a soft ripple in the Force. Someone was watching him. Anakin. Somehow, the knowledge that Anakin was watching him, made him very nervous. He tried to continue with his lightsaber practice as if nothing was wrong. Show him how much you have improved since he has last seen you fight. But with Anakin's eyes on him, every kata was suddenly twice as difficult. Obi-Wan's moves were not really clumsy but they were becoming a tad awkward occasionally. He felt unbalanced. So he stopped at some point and turned to Anakin. Why wait for Anakin to offer to fight a sparring match? Obi-Wan could suggest it just as well.

"Shall we fight a little duel?" he asked, wiping the sweat from his brow with his sleeve.

"Why not?" Anakin got up from his sitting position in the sand, put down his cloak and walked towards Obi-Wan. "I haven't fought against another Jedi for quite some time."

"Do you need a few exercises to warm up?" Obi-Wan asked.

"Do you need a little rest from your training before we start the duel?" Anakin retorted the challenge.

Obi-Wan grinned. "Alright, let's just start."

They ignited their lightsaber, bowed and then the duel began. Obi-Wan let Anakin attack first – as he had always done. Anakin was still much better than him and there was no way he could win against him but Obi-Wan did not fight in order to win. It was only training, after all. It was lightsaber practice at this nice place, where you could drop yourself in the warm sand and thus dodge your sparring partner's lightsaber. Exotic trees, through which you could catch glimpses on the sea one or two miles away, surrounded the "fighting arena". Everything was quiet except for the humming of their lightsabers, and their (well, mostly Obi-Wan's) pants. He could not win against Anakin, no, but his different fighting style allowed him to successfully parry Anakin's slashes. Once, he even managed to stalemate Anakin. Anakin's back was pressed against a tree's trunk and their lightsabers were locked. It was a decision of sheer muscular strength. Unexpectedly, Anakin let go of his lightsaber and dropped down on the ground. Obi-Wan's lightsaber met only the tree's thick bark, and next moment, Anakin's arms had wrapped around his ankles, he lost his balance (and his lightsaber) and landed on the ground too. For some time, they continued some sort of wrestling in the sand without their lightsabers. Unfortunately, Anakin was the stronger one and it did not take him long to have Obi-Wan on the ground flat on his stomach, his arms on his back in Anakin's tight grip. Anakin used the Force to summon his lightsaber in his hand and placed it on Obi-Wan's neck.

"Game over," he declared.

"Is that so? I haven't yielded yet." Obi-Wan tried to sound superior but it was difficult if your breath came in ragged pants, you got lots of sand in your mouth, someone was pressing you down on the ground and that someone also had his lightsaber on your neck.

"Oh, fine, if you insist, I can decapitate you," Anakin said good-naturedly.

"You cannot, your lightsaber is set to low power," Obi-Wan contradicted him.

"But if this was a real duel, I would have decapitated you before long."

Obi-Wan spit some sand which had got between his teeth again, then he abruptly jerked his head up against Anakin's hand. Naturally, his neck got burned during the movement but it was not that bad. And it was definitely worth it – because he caught Anakin off guard. Surprised by Obi-Wan's action, Anakin loosened his grip on Obi-Wan's arms for a tiny moment, and Obi-Wan used that moment to turn around and grab Anakin's wrist which held the lightsaber. "Jedi don't deal in what-ifs," Obi-Wan said, grinning, while he pinned Anakin's hand down on the ground.

"I can't believe you did that," Anakin said incredulously but he was chuckling nonetheless while trying in vain to free himself from Obi-Wan's grip. "You're cheating, Obi-Wan. I had won! You're a Jedi but you're cheating!"

"Too bad," Obi-Wan said and twisted Anakin's wrist so long until Anakin had to let go of his lightsaber if he did not want his arm to break. "Now it's game over," Obi-Wan said superiorly. "Are you sure?" Anakin extended his free hand and called Obi-Wan's lightsaber, which lay forgotten in the sand, to him. But Obi-Wan had seen it coming. He extended his free hand as well, blocking Anakin's attempts in the Force. Suddenly, the lightsaber was surrounded by both their Force energies. It twitched slightly forth and back as if it could not decide to whom it should go. Obi-Wan was surprised his powers were strong enough to equal Anakin's. But as every Jedi knows, too much vanity and self-confidence can be dangerous. So Anakin used Obi-Wan's momentary distraction, freed himself from his grip and, in the blink of an eye, they had their lightsabers pointed at each other's heart.

"Hm." Anakin looked down at the blue blade close to his chest. "Let's call it a draw?"

"Nonsense." Obi-Wan lowered his lightsaber. "I yield."

"Are you sure this time? Or is it a trick again?" Anakin challenged him.

"I mean it. I wouldn't want to say of myself that the first time I won – or achieved a draw, for that matter – against Anakin Skywalker was because I cheated."

Anakin grinned, deactivated his lightsaber and dropped down in the sand. "It's good to know that there's at least some honour in you."

Obi-Wan shrugged and sat down next to Anakin in the warm sand. Anakin was not nearly as exhausted by the duel as Obi-Wan, who was sweating and gasping for air, but at least Anakin's breath had quickened somewhat. Of course, Obi-Wan could not win against him but he had made a point. "Well, congratulations," Obi-Wan panted.

"You fought well," Anakin replied in the standard sentence. "We should do that tomorrow again."

"Yeah, that would be great," Obi-Wan agreed.

Anakin bent over to examine the burn Obi-Wan had taken upon himself when he had struggled against defeat. "You're so crazy, Obi-Wan," Anakin said softly but he seemed slightly amused. "Getting yourself injured just because of a training duel…" Obi-Wan just smiled. "Is it really so important to win?" Anakin asked.

"No… I just thought it would be fun to continue sparring…" Obi-Wan trailed off. Why was Anakin looking at him like that? He had such an intense gaze and… Obi-Wan had no idea what was so special about Anakin's eyes. They were not bluer or brighter than anyone else's eyes but they were…Anakin's eyes. Right. And that's why they were very special. Because Anakin was very, very special too. Obi-Wan had already forgotten what they were talking about and Anakin's look made him feel slightly uneasy. So he just lay back in the sand and closed his eyes, relaxing in the warm sunlight.

They stayed there for hours. Obi-Wan thought it was perfect: just him and Anakin and this beautiful, peaceful planet. He had not felt so good in weeks. They were not talking; they just lay in the sand, a comfortable silence between them. For this moment, Obi-Wan could pretend nothing was wrong. He neither thought of his Master nor of his spying job nor of the war.

Then, however, Anakin, who had obviously fallen asleep, started snoring quietly and disturbed the silence. Obi-Wan sat up and watched Anakin sleep. He liked doing this: watching Anakin. He had done it a lot during the last days – and not only because it was his duty to spy on him. Anakin was always quiet and composed, polite and reticent – as a good Jedi should be. Yet he was reserved and he often seemed distant. Obi-Wan knew there were things Anakin was burying deep within himself, things he did not tell anyone. There was always some incredible sadness clouding him. It was as if even the Force around him grieved with – or for – him. But in a certain way, that sadness made Anakin even more beautiful. Sad and beautiful, yes, these were the two words which best depicted Anakin Skywalker nowadays.

Now he seemed to be peaceful in a dreamless sleep. Obi-Wan studied his relaxed features. The Hero With No Fear looked vulnerable like this. Now he was not the strong and self-controlled General he was in battle and at meetings. Seeing him like this woke a strange feeling of protectiveness in Obi-Wan.

His eyes wandered to Anakin's slightly parted lips. He could not help but wonder what it would feel like if they kissed again. He knew he should not think about such things but the memories of Anakin's lips, wet and salty from his tears, returned again and again.

I'm in love with him, Obi-Wan thought, not really surprised at the realisation. Somehow, it had always been there. Yes, he had known for a long time he felt deeply for Anakin but he had not admitted how deep his feelings really ran until today. He did not know when it had happened. Maybe on Naboo, when Anakin had helped him overcome his fear and had taught him to swim again. The feeling had been there, even before the kiss Anakin had given him. That strange kiss... Obi-Wan softly sighed and tried to look anywhere but at Anakin. They were so close... They had been even closer when they had fought their duel, which had continued as a wrestling in the sand. Obi-Wan still felt Anakin's hands on him, his strong grip, which was, however, never so tight it would hurt. Back then, Obi-Wan had not realised the closeness of the moment. It had been nothing but a fight and he had only focussed on attacking and defending. Like the kiss... It had not been about love. It had been an extreme situation, and Anakin had been desperate and crazy with grief. He certainly had not realised what he had done. And Obi-Wan had only wanted to comfort him, he had not had any hidden thoughts at all. Afterwards, they had pretended nothing had happened. And that was the truth: There was nothing which had happened. It had been a gesture of friendship – brotherly love, nothing else. They had never spoken about it. Of course, they had not. They had hardly seen each other in the following years. Anakin had become a Knight and then a Master. He had changed so much... The passionate, desperate boy who had kissed Obi-Wan had turned into a serene, grim young man. It had happened in the blink of an eye.

When a slight sunburn was beginning to form on Anakin's nose, Obi-Wan gently nudged him awake. He could not avoid that his heart gave a happy squeeze when Anakin's eyes fluttered sleepily open and his lips curved into a little smile upon seeing Obi-Wan.

"You'll get a bad sunburn if you don't move out of the sun," Obi-Wan said and reached out his hand to help Anakin get up. The touch of their hands caused a feeling of hot-cold to tingle through Obi-Wan's body. He held Anakin's hand for just a little moment longer than necessary and pretended it meant something that Anakin had not let go so quickly either.