Warning: This chapter contains a torture scene, a rotting corpse and it also deals with suicide... in a metaphorical (?) way.
And the shape in the mirror still grew and grew until it was taller than Obi-Wan. Master Dooku was now twice his normal size. His dark cloak seemed to fill the whole tunnel behind Obi-Wan. When the shadow moved even closer as if to swallow Obi-Wan, he could not take it any longer. He tore his gaze from the stupefying sight in the mirror, spun around - and found himself face to face with Qui-Gon Jinn.
Chapter 26
Looking for Friends
Suddenly, there were sounds again. He could hear his slightly quickened breathing, Qui-Gon's steady breathing, and the rustling of his own cloak's fabric and the little tapping noise when he took one hesitant step forward.
"Master Jinn?" he whispered. Somehow, this here was a place to whisper.
Qui-Gon smiled at him and put a hand on his shoulder. A very real human hand. Obi-Wan relaxed considerably under the touch. Qui-Gon's calmness seemed to spread to him. "Obi-Wan. I didn't expect you to come here." His eyes wandered to the mark on Obi-Wan's forehead. "Well, you're not really here yet," Qui-Gon said mostly to himself. "More like a visitor."
Obi-Wan nodded although, naturally, he did not understand most of the things Qui-Gon said. But he did not really care what kind of place this was or why he was a visitor. He had come here for a reason and before he could really think what he was doing, the words left his lips. "Anakin and Dooku have both disappeared. No one has heard of them and everyone thinks they're dead. But I don't think so. I haven't felt their deaths. It was not like your death." Obi-Wan was not even aware of the absurdity of speaking to someone he had seen dying about his death. He just knew that he needed to explain all of this to Qui-Gon. "I'm sure they're still alive. And then I met a woman who sent me here. She thinks Anakin or Dooku could be here, or at least I could get answers here. I don't know what to do. Please help me. You have to believe me, I know they're still alive."
Qui-Gon nodded. "You're right. They are not here."
Obi-Wan's heart sank. "Not here?" he asked feebly.
"If they are not here, it means they are still alive."
"Alright," Obi-Wan said in relief. But then he registered something else. "You mean, here are the people who are dead? So, does it mean... Am I...?"
"You are more like a visitor," Qui-Gon repeated what he had already said earlier.
"Oh. I understand." He did not understand everything yet (and he doubted he ever would understand this place) but that was not why he was here, after all. "So... Do you know anything? Can you help me? I just don't know..."
"There is not much I can do to help you but I can at least show you something. A few days ago, Anakin contacted me. I can show you what I saw. It's not...pleasant but I guess it is at least something." Qui-Gon seized Obi-Wan's shoulders and gently turned him around so he faced the mirror again. But instead of seeing their reflections, it showed another scene now. It was almost like a screen on which a movie was shown. A horror movie. Obi-Wan watched the scene with a growing feeling of dread.
Anakin. He was crouching on the floor, hands tied behind his back. A tall woman with a bald and tattooed scalp was towering over him. She uncaringly kicked him in the face with one of her spiked boots. Anakin winced but did not utter a word.
"So, Skywalker, have you thought about it? Where are they now? Where are they when you need help? They only care for you as long as you have something to give. But after I'm through with you, you will not be able to give them anything anymore. Tell me, do you think they would care for a deranged cripple?" She knelt down to him and spoke sweetly in his ear. "Where is your Mum? Did they care for her? Did they care for you when you wanted to save her? Did they care for what you felt when she died?"
"Stop it." Anakin's voice almost sounded like a hurt little child's plea.
The woman gave a satisfied smirk. "Just like a Jedi, aren't you? Afraid to hear the truth. The truth can hurt, oh yes, it can." She ran one of her long nails slowly down his neck. Little droplets of dark blood formed on the sensitive skin. "Don't continue this pathetic life. You can be more than their slave."
"Stop it," Anakin pleaded hoarsely.
"It's your decision. Either the lies or the painful truth. You could be so much stronger if you decided to end it. Stop feeling this hopeless trust in the Jedi. Stop mourning all your losses. You must discover the truth. They don't deserve your loyalty. You know this, don't you?"
"Stop it please," Anakin croaked through gritted teeth. Sweat was building on his forehead and he tried to turn his head away from her but she only moved closer. "Please, Ventress, just stop it."
"You are the only one who can stop it. It's only your decision. You can stop it. You must leave these feelings behind. Leave it all behind. The lies, the hurt, the pain..."
Anakin tightly shut his eyes. Ventress' jaw set, and she stood up. "It looks like you need one more lesson." She raised her hands and blue Force lightning rained down on Anakin. The air cracked with the raw energy. He groaned in pain when the blue lightning surrounded him and attacked every part of his body. Soon, his groans turned into screams of agony. He writhed on the floor, trying to escape the blue flames but he did not have a chance with his hands bound.
Finally, the lightning from Ventress' hands ceased. But instead of stopping screaming, Anakin's screams turned louder and sounded more painful. His face was contorted and his whole body twitched convulsively. There was nothing visible which caused his pain. Ventress' face contorted in spiteful glee and she slightly crooked her right index finger, causing another horrible shriek from Anakin. At long last, his body stopped twitching like madly and he weakly rolled on his side, panting heavily. His eyes had rolled in their sockets and his mouth hung wide open.
Cackling madly, Ventress stepped towards him and kicked him in the back of his head. "We can go on like this for a very long time, you know?" she suggested in a silky voice. "Don't assume that was the worst I'm capable of." She removed her lightsaber from her belt, ignited the red blade and drew a cross on his back. Anakin's breath hitched in his throat, he coughed and spat blood.
Turning on her heels, Ventress marched out of the room, each purposeful stride accompanied by the clicking of her black boots touching the floor.
Blood still trickled out of the corner of Anakin's mouth. His whole body shuddered violently as if he was horribly cold. He moved his mouth but no sound came out - just more blood. He tried again and this time a faint sound left his lips: "Qui-Gon..." Then he vomited, he spat bile and blood and finally his head rested unconscious in his own vomit.
The scene went black and the mirror simply showed the reflections of Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan again. Qui-Gon's fingers were digging hard into Obi-Wan's shoulder. Obi-Wan was just as tense himself, his hands were balled into fists and his nails dug into the flesh of his palms. For a moment, neither man spoke a word. Obi-Wan was breathing heavily as if he, too, had been tortured. Never before in his life had he felt such fury and hate. He wanted to run forwards, ram his fist into the mirror, shatter its glass and run through until he arrived where that evil woman was. He would make her pay, he would make her pay for every little scratch she had inflicted upon Anakin - he would make her pain ten times worse. He tasted blood in his mouth where he had bitten in his flesh to stop himself from roaring in rage and despair. He opened his mouth to voice his maledictions and threatening but before he could utter a word, there was a new image on the mirror again.
It showed the same room as in the last scene. Anakin sat on the floor, looking even paler and sicker than before. A trickle of scarlet red blood ran down the side of his face from a deep gash. The blood slowly slid down until it reached the corner of his lips. There was something in the way the blood coloured his lips a deep red, such a contrast to the white face... Then Ventress turned to Obi-Wan.
"Kiss him."
Obi-Wan took a sharp intake of breath and staggered backwards. If Qui-Gon had not caught him in his arms, he would have probably collapsed on the floor.
"Obi-Wan?" Qui-Gon said worriedly. "What happened? You look like you're going to faint. Your eyes were shifty for a moment as if you were not here anymore."
"She spoke to me," Obi-Wan said weakly.
Qui-Gon scrutinised him thoroughly. "Ventress?"
"Why did she speak to me? How did she know I was watching?"
"What did you see?" Qui-Gon asked, sounding more and more concerned.
Obi-Wan met Qui-Gon's eyes. He did not find any accusation there. "You did not see it then," he stated.
"No, I did not see anything. Why, what did you see? What did she say to you?" Qui-Gon asked more urgently.
Obi-Wan avoided looking him in the eyes. "Maybe it was a vision. I... I don't understand it. Why would she... Why would I...?"
"Obi-Wan, please tell me," Qui-Gon insisted. "It doesn't help anyone if you panic now. I know you care very much for Anakin but -"
"I love him!" Obi-Wan burst out.
"Yes, I know," Qui-Gon said gently and placed a comforting hand on Obi-Wan's arm. "I love him too and I hate what is happening to him. When I saw it for the first time, I wanted to rage and scream too. Well, I did scream."
"You don't understand," Obi-Wan said feebly. "You don't know in which way I love him..."
"I do, Obi-Wan. He is like a son to me and I love him more than I should do."
"Would you kiss him if someone told you to do it?" Obi-Wan asked directly, staring hard at the Jedi Master.
"No, of course not." Suddenly, understanding dawned on Qui-Gon's face and he gave Obi-Wan an alarmed look. "Would you?" he asked, almost in shock.
Obi-Wan stared down at his feet. "I don't know," he said, his voice barely more than a whisper.
It seemed to take Qui-Gon quite some time to digest that bit of information. "Well..." There was another long pause. "Well..." He cleared his throat. "Alright. I've always known that Anakin cared deeply for you but I had no idea about the, ah, nature of your relationship."
"I'm sorry," Obi-Wan said miserably. "I know a Jedi should not... I just couldn't stop it. I love him and the feeling simply doesn't go away. I couldn't stop it, even if I had wanted to stop it." Finally, he lifted his gaze and looked Qui-Gon in the eye. "I'm sorry for what I have done to your Padawan."
Qui-Gon rolled his eyes. "Really, what did you do? Use a mind trick on Anakin and seduce him?"
"Of course not."
"I didn't think so either. Well, as far as I know it needs always two persons to fall in love with each other," Qui-Gon said lightly.
Obi-Wan bit his lip and sadly shook his head. "It's not like that. I... I love him but..." He choked out the next words. "He doesn't love me back."
There was another prolonged pause in which Obi-Wan stared down at his feet. He called Qui-Gon for help when he was weak and helpless. He did not call for me.
"I'm sorry," Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon finally said at the same time. Surprised, Obi-Wan looked up to see Qui-Gon look at him with sympathy. Qui-Gon smiled sadly. "I'm sure it is not easy for you. I was in love with someone too. Not friendship-love but...love, you know?"
"You - you were in love with someone too?" Obi-Wan asked in a slightly trembling voice. "Did that person... love you back?"
"Yes, she did. Just when we had finally realised the nature of our feelings for each other, she died."
Obi-Wan looked up at the tall Jedi Master. He still saw the traces of the old pain of his lost love in his face. Suddenly, the Jedi Master seemed so much more...human. Fallible, just like Obi-Wan too. "I'm sorry," Obi-Wan said sincerely. Qui-Gon appreciated it with a little nod. "So... it's okay to love as a Jedi?"
Qui-Gon heaved a deep sigh. "I'm not sure. The woman I loved was murdered. I wanted to take revenge. It almost drove me to the dark side."
Obi-Wan gulped. He understood what Qui-Gon meant to tell him. "I'm sorry," he apologised again. "I wish I could stop my feelings...I'm sorry."
"Don't apologise for your feelings," Qui-Gon said gently. "It is okay to love. But you must promise me one thing: Promise me it will be a selfless love."
The two men locked eyes. There was a look of understanding between them. They both cared deeply for Anakin. And they both loved more than the Jedi Council allowed. "I promise," Obi-Wan said earnestly.
Qui-Gon nodded solemnly. "Alright then. Do you know what you must do now? This woman, Ventress, holds Anakin prisoner. From what I have gathered from that scene, I'm pretty sure they are on Vjun in a sort of castle. I have watched it several times now and analysed every bit of it... I think I should rather spare you from that experience. There is not more I can tell you or anything else I can help you with. The rest is up to you now."
"I will find him," Obi-Wan said fiercely, full of determination now. "I promise you that."
"I know," Qui-Gon said simply. "Well, I think you ought to go back now."
They walked back the tunnel in silence. When they reached the first room on their way, the room which was a window to the universe, Obi-Wan paused.
"Do you see this?" he indicated the many stars.
"Yes."
"Is there...any meaning behind it? The other rooms, I recognise the scenes in it. But this one..."
"This is the day the Force decided to bring you to life," Qui-Gon said softly.
"Oh." Thoughtfully, Obi-Wan gazed at the twinkling stars. "So there was a specific moment when the Force decided I should live... Strange, isn't it? That the Force influences such...small things..."
"Isn't everything just small things?" Qui-Gon said cryptically.
Obi-Wan let his gaze wander through the dark universe with all the little, shining stars. "Yes, I guess you're right," he said thoughtfully. "I just thought it was a mere coincidence if you had midi-chlorians or not. I always thought the Force would just influence... like when Anakin was born, as the Chosen One, I mean."
"Were you never taught that there are no coincidences? If Anakin walked down his tunnel too, the two of you would meet in front of this room."
"You mean...?"
"The decision that you should live happened at the same moment when the Force decided to create the Chosen One," Qui-Gon confirmed his suspicion.
"Does it mean anything?" Obi-Wan asked thoughtfully.
"I'm sure it means something."
"But I'm sure you don't know what it means."
Qui-Gon chuckled. "The Force an endless mystery is," they cited together one of Master Yoda's favourite wisdoms.
"So it could also mean that the Force just thought it was a big joke to create us at the same time so we could always celebrate our birthdays together."
"Maybe. Who knows... It could mean very much or just very little. But I think we shouldn't waste our time so much on such philosophical issues - things which we cannot understand yet and probably never will. You must do what can be done now. Listen to the Force and it will guide you on the way which is meant for you."
They walked on, passing the room of Obi-Wan and his family, the one of Yoda and the younglings, the one of Bant swimming in a pond and Obi-Wan watching her. Then they arrived at the room with the lake on Naboo. Obi-Wan paused again and looked at himself and Anakin. So happy... so free... so peaceful... He felt a strong call towards that room, as if the Force pulled him forwards.
Come in, it whispered, come in here. Here is your peace. This is where you are meant to stay. Only here you can find your inner peace.
Without realising what he was doing, Obi-Wan walked towards the door. He did it with the confidence of a sleepwalker. Anakin looked invitingly at him with an expression of mirth on his face. Obi-Wan could feel himself and his younger version gradually becoming one. Yes, he understood now. This was what he was meant to be. He belonged here.
"Don't." Qui-Gon's harsh voice cut through his peace.
Slightly annoyed by the interruption, Obi-Wan turned back to look at Qui-Gon, who was standing in the tunnel, in that cold and grey and dark and lifeless tunnel. "I want to stay here," Obi-Wan said with conviction and turned back towards the two cheerful Padawans. One more step forwards, he could already hear their laughter now. It was still dimmed as if he could only hear it through a wall but he was getting nearer and nearer. One more step...
"Don't do it," he heard Qui-Gon shouting in the distance. "You must not go in there. You can never go back if you decide to stay."
But I don't want to go back, Obi-Wan thought. There is no better place in the world for me than here. I know it, this is where I belong.
"Don't do it," Qui-Gon said again. "Please."
Whereas the other words had not been strong enough, this simple yet desperate plea reached Obi-Wan's ears and penetrated his blissful state. The voices of the two Padawans were dimmed again. "But I want to stay," Obi-Wan said in a voice which sounded almost like a whining child.
"I know, Obi-Wan," Qui-Gon said. "This is why people should never come here. It's not your time yet, you must leave this place."
"But what is the problem if I stay here? Will something happen? Is this," Obi-Wan indicated the scene in the room, "just an illusion which will turn into a hell if I step into the room?"
"No, it will not. You will be happy here," Qui-Gon said gravely.
"Then why...?"
"Have you already forgotten what you have seen in the mirror?" Qui-Gon said softly and looked at him meaningfully. "Have you already forgotten your promise?"
And then it came all rushing back: Anakin, pale, crouching on the floor in a pool of his own blood, pleading weakly for Ventress to stop his ordeal. The realisation of it made Obi-Wan almost fall to his knees. He and Qui-Gon were the only ones who knew Anakin was still alive. Qui-Gon could not get out of here anymore. If Obi-Wan decided to stay here, no one would save Anakin. Ventress would continue torturing him in even worse ways... Don't assume that was the worst I'm capable of... and presumably she would eventually break him. Obi-Wan felt sick of what he had almost done to Anakin. I presume that I love him but I would have selfishly stayed here where I would be happy. I would have abandoned him for my own happiness.
"What if I don't succeed?" Obi-Wan said weakly. "What if I'm not strong enough for this?"
"Obi-Wan," Qui-Gon said gently and comfortingly placed his hands on his shoulders. "You are strong enough for this. You're probably the strongest one of us all. Dooku told me of your fierce determination when it came to lightsaber practice. Actually, he said I could have become a decent swordsman too if I had trained as hard as you. It can be a weakness if it turns into an obsession but it can also be your greatest strength. I've never seen you give up. I know things do not come as easy to you as to exceptionally gifted Jedi like Anakin or Dooku. But every time you fell, you just stood up again and went on. And this is something Anakin has never had the chance to learn. That's what I'm worried about. I don't know if he will be strong enough to get up again if he falls. You need to teach him that."
"Yeah, but first of all I need to get him out of the hands of that mad woman."
Qui-Gon grinned. "Of course. You can do it, just never give up. And never forget your promise." He thoughtfully looked at Obi-Wan and squeezed his shoulders affectionately. "Most people who come here as visitors decide to stay. It needs remarkable strength to go back."
Obi-Wan shrugged. He did not feel at all like he had shown remarkable strength. "That's probably because many people who come here have already lost everything and do not have a purpose anymore to come back. But I have a purpose. I have to go back. I don't really have a choice, do I?"
Qui-Gon smiled knowingly at him. "That's the spirit. And now you really must go. May the Force be with you."
"May the Force be with you too. And thank you very much for your help. Erm... where do I have to go? Back to the boat?"
"What does your heart tell you?"
Obi-Wan closed his eyes. In his mind, he saw Anakin again lying badly injured on the floor. Then Anakin slowly lifted his head up a few centimetres from the ground. For a tiny moment, their eyes locked.
Hold on. I'm coming. I'm coming to get you out of there.
ooooooo
"Master Windu? You should probably come to the healers' wing. There's something you need to see," a healer apprentice addressed Mace on his way to the archives, where he had wanted to reread about the battle of Antar 4 for the presumably twentieth time.
"What is it?" Mace asked the young man.
"It's...uh, about Master Dooku's corpse," the apprentice said evasively. It was obvious he felt uncomfortable talking about it.
"Yes, I'm coming," Mace said with a sense of foreboding. He quickly strode towards the healers' wing. The young man trailed behind him, trying to catch up with his hurried pace.
In front of the door, Master Unduli already awaited him. She eyed him with a grave expression. "Greetings, Master Windu. We thought we should inform you of this, as it was you who led the investigation and discovered his corpse. Well, come inside. But I'm warning you: It's not a very pleasant sight."
Master Unduli was very right about that. The first thing Mace did upon seeing his old friend's corpse was closing his eyes for a moment, forcing himself to regain his balance. When he opened his eyes again, the sight had not become any more bearable but at least he was prepared for what met his eyes.
The Jedi Master's body had already begun to rot badly. Greyish-red stains covered his arms. The facial features were not clearly recognisable anymore and were oddly swollen. Master Unduli pushed up one leg of his trousers to reveal a leg that looked equally revolting as the arm.
"His whole body looks like that," she said softly.
Mace gulped, trying to hide the emotions which the sight evoked in him.
"The clothes are still fully intact," Master Unduli continued, "but his body is already being decaying. It decays much too quickly. Something's not right here."
"He..." It took Mace some time to collect his thoughts and it took him some more time to recover his voice. "We don't know how long he's been dead. Maybe...he already died weeks ago."
"No. No... Yesterday, his corpse was still in a relatively good condition. But today... He looks as if weeks had passed and not just one night. No human body should decompose so quickly. It's not natural."
"Did you do anything with him?" Mace asked accusingly. "Did you use some salve or... or are there some scavengers here in the healers' wing?"
"No, we already checked for scavengers," Master Unduli replied calmly. "There's nothing unusual about the decay. The corpse shows the usual signs of a one- or two-months-old human corpse. Everything's normal - except for the fact that it started much too early. Gogon," she addressed the apprentice, who had silently listened to their conversation, "get a clone soldier here."
"Which clone soldier, Master?" Gogon asked.
"Any clone soldier," Master Unduli replied curtly. "I just need to speak to a clone."
"Okay." The young man obediently left to go looking for a clone.
Master Unduli turned to look gravely at Mace. "I'm not an expert on corpse decay but maybe a clone can help us now."
"How could a clone help us?" Mace asked doubtfully.
"The clone soldiers' corpses decay more quickly than normal human corpses," she said stiffly.
"Do they?" Mace muttered, trying to absorb the implications of that statement.
They remained silent until the apprentice returned with a clone soldier. The clone saluted to both Mace and Master Unduli. "Greetings, General Windu and General Unduli. How can I be of assistance?"
"I need you to answer a few questions," Master Unduli said severely. "Why do the clones' corpses decay more quickly than any other human corpses?"
"That's because of the growth acceleration, General," the clone stated. "It means we grow twice as quickly as humans, and, consequently, our corpses decompose twice as quickly."
"Hm." Master Unduli nodded thoughtfully. "What about him?" She indicated Dooku's corpse on the bed. "Yesterday, he looked still well but overnight, his body rotted like that. Do you have any idea how it could happen?"
"He can't be a clone, General. We are carefully constructed and none of us would ever decompose so quickly," the clone soldier said almost proudly.
"But the question here is: If, hypothetically, a clone was not, erm, constructed as carefully as you... Let's say, they used so much growth acceleration that he was created in only a few weeks... would that be possible?"
"Just what are you suggesting?" Mace addressed Master Unduli sharply. "You can't possibly maintain that he's a... a clone!"
Master Unduli looked at him with a pained expression. "For all we know, that possibility indeed exists."
"But look at him!" Mace gestured helplessly at the disfigured corpse. "He is Dooku. You recognise him, don't you?"
"Mace," Master Unduli said gently. "Of course, I recognise him. But that's what clones are: Exact copies of the cloned person. No one could tell the difference."
Sadly, Mace had to admit that she was right. If Dooku - or his clone - was still alive, he certainly could have felt it in the Force but there was nothing of Dooku left in the Force. And Master Unduli's suspicion made sense. The two lightsabers... one of them still very new and probably constructed in a haste...
"It could be possible to produce a clone in such a short amount of time," the clone soldier said. "But no one would do that. Such a clone would be pretty useless. He would never be able to fight or think well."
"And what if the clone was neither needed to fight nor to think?" Master Unduli said quietly. "What if he was just needed to pose for someone dead?"
Mace could almost see the clone's mind working furiously, trying to make sense of that bit of information. It was obvious they were dealing with a low ranked clone who could not think very independently. "Why would you want him to pose for someone dead?"
"That is another point altogether," Master Unduli sighed. "So, if a clone was produced in such a short amount of time, would his corpse consequently rot much more quickly than normally?"
"Yes, that should be the case," the clone confirmed.
Mace and his Jedi colleague exchanged a meaningful glance. "Alright," she told the clone soldier. "That was all we needed to know. Thank you very much for your help."
"You are welcome, Generals Unduli and Windu."
"And by the way - you are human too," Master Unduli added as an afterthought. "You were just brought to life in a different way than most other people but that does not make you any less human."
The clone gave her a weird look, then he went away.
"Well..." Silence fell between the two Jedi Masters. Both tried to understand what they had just found out.
"There were two lightsabers," Mace finally muttered.
"Hm?"
"Two lightsabers. We found his old one months ago on Antar 4, shortly after he went missing. There was another one with this...corpse." He tried hard to avoid looking at the disfigured body.
"So someone wants us to think he's dead," Master Unduli mused.
"He built the second one too."
"What?" Master Unduli gave him a confused look.
"I know he did it," Mace said, convinced. "I would recognise his lightsaber work anywhere. He built the second lightsaber too - but he did not do it as meticulously as the first one."
"But why...?"
The question remained unanswered.
"I'll go to Kamino. I'll find out what's behind all of this," Mace said grimly.