A/N: Huge thank you to everyone who has read, subscribed, and commented. I deeply appreciate it – I wasn't expecting there to be too many people still appreciating Twilight, so I am hugely grateful to have some interaction with my work. Thank you!
Embry was quite used to being a wolf. Phasing from man to beast was now as fluid as water, and patrolling the dark forests of La Push was just another day's work. That was normal enough. What wasn't normal, however, was the constant barrage of everyone else's inane thoughts, irrespective of if he actually wanted to listen. As much as he tried, Embry still wasn't quite comfortable with the whole pack mind thing - hello, privacy, where are you - and he especially disliked patrolling with the imprinted wolves.
When Embry first joined the pack, patrolling with Sam was constant Leah Emily Emily Emily oh god Leah madness, and it only got worse when Leah and Seth phased. It was weird, seeing the constant mental battle between Human-Sam and Wolf-Sam, between fighting the imprint and indulging his animalistic desires. In the end, he submitted to his lupine side, to the imprint, and committed to Emily. Sam maintained it was worth it, and he truly did love Emily. That was clear for anyone dipping in and out of the pack mind, picking up thoughts and memories of Emily amidst the general chaos. Embry even found himself thinking of Emily sometimes, even having a seriously weird dream once that the guys never let him forget. How was he supposed to help it, having to constantly see Emily like that? It was weird.
Jared's thoughts were a touch better, though Embry had to admit the raunchiness of his memories were both titillating and mortifying. And that was the thing about the pack mind - you saw everything, regardless of if it was intended to be shared. They'd agreed pretty early on that what was seen was not to be discussed outside of the mental link, bar the occasional highly embarrassing moment. That was always fair game. Fuck Paul and his constant torment. He was by far the worst offender, scanning thoughts for any kind of uncomfortable tone and saving ammo to use later. Embry'd get Paul back though, and there was nothing more therapeutic than a good sparring session, even if he routinely got his ass kicked. That was just par for the course.
Dynamic changes were also par for the course when it came to the pack. The leech drama a few years back - when Jacob finally got his ass into gear and started a new pack - meant that for a while the guys were separated. That well and truly sucked, and even though he had Quil and Jacob close by - the original trio! - he still missed the other guys. Time passed, shit happened, and eventually, the dust settled. He was still technically under Jacob's leadership, but since Jacob and Sam had worked out a truce they all patrolled together again. Back to the old shared mind, just with a little extra touch of supernatural politics to add some spice. When it came to Jacob's pack, Embry was comfortably his third-in-command, with Leah as beta. Quil and Seth were content, and their dynamics were pretty peaceful.
And then there was Sam's pack - absolute fucking chaos. Jared and Paul seemed to be constantly tussling for beta (Jared won, usually), with Leah sometimes jumping in to start shit. Every now and then one of the younger kids would try and pull rank on Embry - sometimes Collin, sometimes even the even younger newbies who were fucking fifteen, for Christ's sake. Embry'd get in the fray to shut that bullshit down, and he was a decent enough fighter to pin the offender down and nip them into submission. Otherwise, Embry tried to keep his ass out of trouble, preferring to spectate. That was where the real entertainment was.
Generally, pack life was pretty peaceful, especially in comparison to the drama a few years back. Most of the Cullens had moved on in the past few years, with only Edward, Bella and Ness remaining for Jacob's sake. Jacob couldn't be separated from his pack for too long, and they'd experimented enough to test the limits of the mental link. Jacob could communicate pretty easily at a distance - probably an alpha perk, though nobody was really sure - but eventually, the thoughts would fizzle out, like a radio tuned to the wrong frequency. Consequently, the Cullens settled a few hours out of Forks, heading West towards Seattle. The compromise was enough to keep Jacob around here and there in the pack mind without having to sacrifice too much for his imprint. Embry couldn't imagine being that far from his home, but Jacob didn't seem to mind too much. Maybe that was just the imprint talking, though. He couldn't really tell either way. Jake seemed happy enough though.
Embry wasn't really on either side of the imprint debate. When they all first phased, the imprints were rolling in like a tidal wave - weird, since it was meant to be rare - and he accepted it as an inevitability. After Jake and Ness happened, though, there hadn't been any more imprints. That made almost two years without any major supernatural drama. The more that time passed, the more the unimprinted guys began to think that things were back to normal, and that meant no fated romances. Some of the guys (Seth in particular) still thought about it from time to time, hoping for that one magical glance that changed everything. Embry wasn't necessarily hoping to imprint, but he wasn't completely opposed to it. Sure, Ness and Claire were weird blips in what was originally thought to be a romantic phenomenon, but the more that Embry actually watched Jake and Quil, the more he saw what bullshit the whole fated love idea was. The girls had what was essentially the world's most loyal best friends, and that was definitely a point of jealousy. No matter what happened, Embry wouldn't have that tight friendship triad he'd had as a teen, and that sucked. So really, if Embry just so happened to imprint, and she was a kickass bitch like Leah, he wouldn't be too mad. That would be kind of sick.
God, your mind is a weird place. I can't believe I had to listen to that entire monologue just to hear that you want Leah.
Fuck off, Collin. That wasn't the point and you know it.
Sure, sure. We'll see what Leah thinks later.
Kid, I'm going to kick your fucking ass.
Collin didn't respond, but Embry could see the flashes of forest whipping by faster as Collin hauled ass to escape the typical beat-down. Good. He truly couldn't be bothered today.
Ha! I knew it.
Goddamn it.
Life outside of patrols was pretty chilled. After all of the stress he'd put his mother through during his high school years, he'd opted to move into the world's shittiest sharehouse with Quil and Jared. Okay, it wasn't that bad - it was just run down in ways that were beyond their level of handiness (and honestly, they weren't that handy when it came to houses). No, cars were more of their wheelhouse, and they were finally making good on Jake's idea of starting a workshop on the Rez. It sucked that he wasn't around to get it going, but they'd be going ahead regardless. The three of them were taking classes here and there at the Forks college campus to get some actual accreditation before they officially opened for business, even though they'd been working on cars for years. Jared definitely had the superior math brain, and so he took on extra classes to handle the accounting side. Thank God. Embry could barely figure out how to file his basic-ass tax return from working at his mom's shop.
Quil and Jared were surprisingly good roommates, too. Jared was AWOL a lot of the time, generally keeping pace with whatever Kim was doing. Quil was around a lot more, and living together was actually a lot like what they imagined it to be as kids. Video games, working on their cars in the yard, wolf sparring (okay, maybe that wasn't in the original plan) - that shit kind of rocked. No complaints on Embry's side. Thankfully he didn't bring Claire around too much, and so the house remained a laidback bachelor pad on Embry's solo weekends. A little lonely, but nothing that a spot of beer and some baseball couldn't fix.
Embry dated here and there, mostly flings that eventuated from women he met at bar crawls. Jake had wheeled and dealed with Edward and hooked them up with a few fake IDs, which they used quite generously to get rowdy. It took way too much liquor to get a wolf drunk - damn that elevated metabolism! - so it was more of a social outing and a casual indulgence in cheap alcohol. Sometimes he'd end up bringing a woman home (often at Paul's encouragement), and it was nice, but nothing that exciting. He definitely wasn't gay. Been there, tried that. He just couldn't seem to get much of a connection going beyond casual sex, and even that lost its allure after a while. Sometimes, lying awake after a six-pack, he'd wonder if there was something wrong with him, if he was somehow defective when it came to love. Embry tried not to indulge in those thoughts. It was a dangerous path of self-loathing that he really didn't want the others to overhear.
He'd talked to Quil about it once, in a rare moment of vulnerability spurred on by one of Quil's weekends with Claire. Quil and Claire had the kind of super-tight, mind-reading connection that was generally only seen in twins or weirdos. When they were together, it was like the rest of the world was entirely irrelevant, and Quil's memories showed them having an absolute blast. Watching the two of them laugh, play, made Embry's heart hurt in a way that he often refused to feel. Quil had responded with confusion - how the hell does my imprint make you sad? - and it had all come rushing out, the jealousy, the abandonment, the worry. To Quil's credit, he listened to Embry's thoughts as patiently and carefully as only the best friend of a hyperactive seven-year-old child could. It was both cathartic and mortifying, but Quil was quick to reassure him that he didn't think any different of Embry - his thoughts were pretty damn rational considering the weird-ass predicament they were in. Quil's support actually meant a lot to Embry; they'd practically been raised as brothers and he couldn't imagine navigating life without him.
Okay, now that was a little gay. I'm sorry man, I don't love you live that.
You suck. As if I'd date you anyway.
And just like that, the usual ribbing resumed, and Embry's existential crisis was smoothed over, tucked away in the back of his mind like a childhood memory to be infrequently recalled. Things truly weren't bad. He just got a little carried away sometimes, maybe a freak out here or there, but life was good. He was happy. Things would be okay.
Winter break passed by in a flash, and before Embry knew it, they were back at college for another quarter of learning shit they definitely already knew. They'd finally finished the beginner courses - basic systems and repairs, yawn - and were finally moving on to the finer details of engines. The only snag this quarter was that they had to take a required English composition class, which Embry dreaded. He'd barely passed high school, and he highly suspected some bribery or administrative oversight was involved, most likely the work of Old Quil. Seeing his grandson fail high school would probably send that man to the grave. Embry was just thankful that he was somehow included in the "adjustments". Regardless, Embry knew he'd need to get his shit together this quarter to actually figure out what the hell was going on. Kim had promised the guys she'd help, and she was definitely talented when it came to school work, but Embry was sure that Jared would be pissed at losing out on alone time with her. Tricky business.
He met the usual suspects in the dismal college parking lot for a quick round of "what are we actually doing this semester". Between the three of them, they could surely get things organised, was Kim's line of thinking. And so they went, off to their classes, Jared to some accounting class, and Embry and Quil to English composition. Unsurprisingly, the boys quickly fell behind, leaving the class scratching their heads and wondering what they actually learned in high school. Oops. Things were shaping up to make for a long quarter.
And so followed a long week of confusing class after confusing class. Embry was definitely thankful for the interesting classes - automotive-related ones, of course - that were interspersed throughout. They'd survived the first week, made it to the weekend, and the only thing standing between Embry and a legendary Emily feast was his four-hour patrol shift. After the packs reconciled, Emily and Sam had gotten into the habit of hosting weekly get-togethers, which typically revolved around some kind of glorious meal. Though he might not outwardly sing his pack's praises, he did genuinely enjoy the company of his brothers.
And sister. Forget about me, huh? Last I heard you wanted me.
Of course it's you. Who else would I want to patrol with? Embry snorted, only mildly irritated. You're really not that bad, Leah, you're only a mild pain in the ass. You could definitely be worse.
Leah didn't respond, but he could see that she'd already begun patrolling the south perimeter. Embry got to work pacing the eastern boundary, paying close attention for any changes since his last shift the evening before. The pair worked in quiet solitude, mostly zoning each other out, enjoying the rare bursts of sunshine that snuck out between showers. Embry felt the familiar tingling in his temple as another of his pack phased in - Sam? - to join the patrol.
Yeah. Running late. Embry's mind bloomed with images of Collin and Paul, wrestling and yelling, as usual, followed by scenes of both Sam and Emily shouting at the boys. He couldn't help but feel amused at Sam's memories - Collin was constantly starting beef, and trying to keep up with the drama was a real effort.
Predictable dumbasses. Glad it's not me that has to kick Collin's ass this time. Embry could sense Leah's amusement, a light feeling that tinged her thoughts like a refreshing breeze. It was nice, Embry thought, seeing Leah more chilled out. She needed that. They all needed that. Real drama was pretty absent these days, and they all tended to tolerate each other (at the very least). Patrol passed with little fanfare, with nothing out of the ordinary and no real interesting sights. Boring, but excellent exercise, especially considering Embry did little else to look after himself.
Yeah, you're definitely on the way to a beer gut, Leah thought, immediately phasing before Embry could retort. Classic Leah move.
Embry phased, too, a well-practised movement that allowed him to shift from wolf to semi-dressed human in a matter of seconds. He was nothing if not efficient. Leah and Sam strode ahead towards the house, probably with different motivations (food vs imprint) but with the same intensity. Embry had to jog to catch up, to lope up the porch just a few beats behind them. He was hyped for the food, imagining some kind of heavenly banquet that he could just inhale -
And all of a sudden.
Her.
For a moment, he was lost. One minute, it was all food and patrol and pack, and the next second he's gazing upon the most gorgeous woman he's ever seen. Embry looked at her, really looked, drinking in her incredible features - those dark almond eyes, her perfect pout, the knot of windswept hair piled atop her head. God, she was tiny, curled into the couch like she needed the comfort, the protection. He wanted that. He wanted to give her that.
And then clarity. He was staring, like really truly staring at her, and she was totally staring back, but so was everyone else in the house. Fucking awkward. He felt like a coward as he slinked through the kitchen, through the corridor, working himself away from his imprint as if he was ashamed. He wasn't (was he?). Moreso embarrassed and confused and overwhelmed and honestly, what even was all of this - he thought they were done! They all thought it was over! And suddenly, here she was, and it was a complete reminder of how far out of his depth he was.
His feet were moving as if in autopilot, leading him to the old faithful front porch, home to many strange happenings over the years. Yes, add this to the list. Finding your fated partner, the one woman you're destined to protect for the rest of your lives. Nice. He could hear them all inside, laughing and joking and enjoying things as usual. Part of him wanted to be there, craved it, to be near her and know that she was happy and okay. The other part - the rational part - was in a mild state of panic. Memories gleaned from the pack mind would suggest that this was par for the course, but that did little to actually reassure him. What was comforting, though, was Quil's appearance on the porch with two heaped plates.
Quil raised his chin in a small nod. "Welcome to the club," he said, sitting down on the stoop beside Embry. "It's crazy, I'll give you that, but you'll be okay. I thought my life was over when Claire happened, but things got better. Her family actually likes me now, and I like them. Things worked out. Yours will, too."
Embry nodded wordlessly. Quil was right, probably. He couldn't think of a single imprinted pair that didn't work out - even Sam and Emily were happy, and things with Leah were mostly smoothed over. Surely his situation would be marginally less drastic.
"Do you know her?" Embry asked finally.
Quil nodded. "Her name's Lex. She's in a ton of Kim's classes. Kim said she's really nice, funny, quiet though. I swear she's barely spoken all day."
Nodding, again. Lex. Embry wondered what it was short for. Alexis? Lexie? The car guy in him hoped it was Lexus. Quil snorted at the suggestion.
"Oh yeah, the spirits took one look at ol' Lexus and had to put him with the mechanic. Makes sense," he guffawed, and the boys broke into easy laughter. It was times like this when he truly was grateful for Quil, who could make him smile with the simplest, most asinine comment. The boys talked and ate, largely avoiding the topic of imprinting. Embry was reassured, sure, but he wasn't exactly there yet, ready to rush to his girl and profess his fated attraction. Just the thought of being near her both excited and terrified him, evidenced by the knot of tension in his stomach that twinged every time he thought of her. His baser instincts made him want to seek her out, get close to her, regardless of what was normal. On the other hand, he knew that he needed to get to know her, approach her like a man, not a wolf, and win her mind first. He wanted something real, something human, and that would require a real effort to restrain his wolf side. His control was reasonable, safe, but he hadn't pushed himself before to really see how strong he could be. And what if he ever hurt her? Would he ever put her in danger? The thought terrified him, but it was a real, reasonable concern. The thought weighed on him like a boulder.
The day crept by, torturously slowly, though Embry gained some comfort feeling her nearby. Quil left after a while, needing to swing by his parent's house for something or other. Embry remained on the stoop, with some of the other guys coming by to speak with him. Sam, in particular, was enthusiastic, offering both congratulations and warnings that made him feel sick to his stomach. He wasn't ready for this. Sam's grisly reminders of Emily (oh god oh god oh god) left him with his head in his hands and his stomach in his throat. Would that be Lex? Could he do that to her? And all of a sudden, whether it was highly opportune or completely dismal timing, the front door opened, and there she was. Lex. Embry sprung to his feet, turning immediately to assess her. She's okay. She's here.
He could feel himself being crazy, feel that he was looking at her way too intensely, but he couldn't help it. Was it possible to resist looking over her, to confirm that she was fine (albeit, freaked out) whilst simultaneously checking her out? The pink flush of her cheeks, the softness of her skin, was like a beacon summoning the immediate caress of his hand. God, he thought, this imprint brain is dangerous.
"You're leaving already," he said, immediately regretting his impulsive speech. He cursed himself inwardly. I've avoided her all day! It makes no sense to comment that she's leaving! Yet, it was the truth - he wanted her close by, even if he didn't have the guts to approach her. Even the proximity of the porch was enough for the tension in his belly to ease a little, for him to relax slightly. She nodded at his statement, and he felt himself soften at the small movement. I'm scaring her. He rubbed the back of his neck, partly to seem less threatening, and partly because he had absolutely no idea what to do. Surely by now there should be some sort of tribal guide book, something like How to Interact With the Love of Your Life in Ten Easy Steps. Maybe when he finally had his head straight he'd write it. Still, she said nothing, and so he chanced another sentence.
"I'm Embry. I had to... take care of some things before. Hope I'll see you around again," he said, trying not to sound too desperate. It was weak, but he had to say something. She nodded again, looking marginally less frightened. Dumbly, he realised that he was blocking the stoop - she couldn't flee even if she wanted to. Embry stepped aside, and she hopped down the steps and hightailed it to Kim's shitbox like a frightened animal. Kim looked at him sympathetically as she passed, as if she'd accidentally kicked his dog or something. Was he already that pathetic? He watched the women settle in the car, and he couldn't help but stare as Kim backed out. His eyes locked with Lex for one final look, a single glance that seemed to take the breath out of him. Oh, I am fucked.
When they were well and truly gone, he finally turned around to enter the house, fixing his gaze on Sam and Emily who were watching from the doorway. Emily's gaze was soft, a mixture of joy and sympathy, whilst Sam was simply amused.
"That," he said, "was all the entertainment I needed for today. Embry, speechless? Never thought I'd see the day. Welcome to the club, brother."
Sam reached forward to embrace him, and Embry let himself be folded into the hug. Sam didn't do physical affection towards his brothers often, and Embry wanted to remember every second of today. Scary, overwhelming, embarrassing, sure, but he was excited. He had his family. And soon she'd be a part of it, too.