Chapter 33
Obi-Wan's Decision
"Excuse me, I'm looking for Sith holocrons."
Jocasta Nu gave him a critical look. Yes, Anakin knew, there really was no way to make this sound not bad.
"For research purposes," he clarified.
"The Sith holocrons are, obviously, not freely accessible. They are strictly kept under lock and key. Only a master of the High Council may access them."
"Right." Anakin was just about to leave, frustrated that he would have to bother a Master in the middle of a war to ask for a permit, when he stopped in his tracks. Jocasta Nu sure had a way to make you feel like a youngling. "I am on the Council."
She pinched her lips and gave him another sour look. She probably had not forgiven him yet that he, together with Obi-Wan and Bruck Chun, had once sneaked into the archives to find out about their heritage.
"I hope this has been thoroughly discussed with the Council," Jocasta Nu said while she reluctantly led the way to the Holocron Vault. "I would strongly advise against studying Sith holocrons."
"I understand. I will be careful."
She ignored his words, opened a chest with several complicated opening mechanisms, and retrieved a holocron. "I suggest you start with this one. I will hand out only one at a time."
Anakin understood immediately. The dark energy could hardly be contained in the little device, it seemed to want to burst out. He quelled down the sickening feeling in his stomach, pocketed the holocron, thanked Jocasta Nu and went into his room.
When he opened the holocron, a wave of dark Force energies broke free. It gave him a hell of a headache. Probably should have meditated first. But he was anxious to get ahead. He had already wasted too much time on his fruitless search on Koshyym.
The first information the holocron displayed was the Sith Code.
Peace is a lie. There is only Passion.
Through Passion, I gain Strength.
Through Strength, I gain Power.
Through Power, I gain Victory.
Through Victory my chains are Broken.
The Force shall free me.
Anakin would never have said it out loud but the words did not sound too bad so far. Sure, Peace is a lie was suspicious. And the thirst for victory was problematic (but seriously, who did not strife for victory? The Jedi Masters led armies to war, of course they wanted to be victorious). Then there was the last line that oddly resonated with Anakin. The Force shall free me. It had literally done so with him. His abilities in the Force had saved him from a life as a slave.
Back to the task at hand. So the Sith drew strength from passion, not from a place of serenity. They relied on –
That was when Obi-Wan burst into his room. In his shock, Anakin dropped the holocron and it clattered to the floor. Maybe he had been too preoccupied with this ominous device to hear Obi-Wan's knocking or sense his presence in the Force. Or Obi-Wan had not taken the time to knock, just like he ignored Anakin's greeting. He started to speak very quickly, almost breathless.
"I know who the Sith Lord is and I know where he is. It's Master Dooku and he wants to meet me on Mustafar, at the mining factory, tomorrow. I know I should have said something sooner but I just couldn't do it, I couldn't tell the Council. You made me promise I'd come to you if there was ever anything you could do, and now there is. I can't tell them, I seriously can't, please, can you just do it."
"What? Dooku?" Anakin was completely overwhelmed. Too much information, too fast, too unbelievable. "Are you-"
But Obi-Wan did not give him the chance to make sense of any of it. The words burst out of him like the dark energy had burst out of the Sith holocron. "And I'm sorry I lied to you and the Council and sent you to the wrong planet. I thought – you said you'd come and bring me back if I fell to the dark side, and I thought maybe I could stop Master Dooku and make him turn back but it didn't work, I was always too late, people died because I didn't do anything, didn't say anything, and I can't take it anymore. Here, you should have this." Obi-Wan grabbed Anakin's hand and put his ring in it. "It reacts to dark Force energies and shines blue as a warning, so you'll know when…" He gave Anakin a desperate look. "Please be careful," he choked out and then he fled the room.
Completely dumbfounded, Anakin remained rooted to the spot. He tried to make sense of Obi-Wan's words. Frighteningly, they made a lot of sense and explained several things that had happened during the last days, weeks, months. Since when had Obi-Wan known? How long had Dooku been working for the enemy? Dooku, the great Jedi Master Dooku, Anakin's childhood hero, Obi-Wan's Master – a Sith Lord?! Anakin needed to know more.
"Obi-Wan, wait!" Anakin ran after him but Obi-Wan did not stop but walked with long strides, his head held low.
"Obi-Wan!" Anakin had finally caught up with him. He did not know how else to stop him and just grabbed Obi-Wan's arms. "Please wait."
Obi-Wan was shaking and his chest was heaving like he had just run for miles but he did not fight Anakin's hold. Anakin was simply staring at him, and Obi-Wan stared back, his eyes wide and haunted. Anakin had promised to help but he did not know what to do but send calming waves through the Force. He was not sure he succeeded because he himself was so agitated, too. He knew what it meant to lose your Master. Now Obi-Wan had lost his Master, too, in another sense, yes, but that certainly did not make it any better.
"I am deeply sorry," Anakin said, fully aware that the words were probably meaningless to Obi-Wan, "but you have to tell me more. Please. Come back into my room, let's talk there."
"There isn't much time, Anakin. He wants to see me tomorrow. The Council needs to know. And then…"
And then. There was a Sith that needed to be dealt with. Anakin knew what it meant, and he knew that Obi-Wan knew, too, otherwise he would not have kept it a secret. But he had decided to tell Anakin. Anakin wanted to help him but he did not see any way. Tomorrow. Damnit.
There was one thing Obi-Wan had asked of him. Obi-Wan, who never asked for help. It was the least Anakin could do.
"You want me to tell them?"
Obi-Wan nodded.
"Right." Anakin took a deep breath, squeezed Obi-Wan's arms and then hurried off towards the Council Chambers to call for an emergency meeting. He prayed that Master Yoda would be there and have a solution to all of this. Or at least give him some much needed guidance.
oOoOo
Obi-Wan was left standing in the middle of the corridor. He had done it, he had finally told the truth, done his duty – he had done what a Jedi must do. Tomorrow, his Master could be dead. Maybe killed by Anakin or one of the other Jedi Masters. And Obi-Wan – what would happen to him once the Council found out about what he had done? It could be his last night in the Jedi Temple.
Slowly, he walked towards the Room of a Thousand Fountains. One more time he wanted to let the peace of that room wash through him, clean his mind before his life was going to irrevocably change tomorrow. The sun was just about to set and the trees cast long shadows. Almost automatically, Obi-Wan's feet directed him towards his favourite place, the mossy stone next to a little pond with lots of tiny toads in it. The stone was still warm from the sun when Obi-Wan sat down. Trembling, he reached out to the Force, tried to sense all the life in the water, the soft movements, the strength of the trees… It had come easier as a child, and the stone had seemed bigger.
But after some time, the gentle murmur of a brook nearby and the steady fall of water drops from some leaves calmed him down a little. By now, night had fallen and, apart from the fireflies and some luminescent flowers, everything was dark. He was alone – until he heard steps slowly approaching. In the Force he recognised it was Anakin. Well, no surprise there. Even back in their childhood, Anakin had never left him in peace.
"Thought I'd find you here." Anakin dropped down in the grass opposite Obi-Wan. "They want me to go to Mustafar," he said more softly.
Obi-Wan just hummed as an answer. He did not trust his voice.
"Do you want to come with me?"
"I will not fight my own Master." Obi-Wan could not believe Anakin was even suggesting this.
"No, of course not. I just thought – the message was for you and you said you wanted to try and bring him back from the dark side."
That took Obi-Wan by surprise. "You think that's possible?" It was not what the Jedi taught about the dark side. Once you go down the dark path, forever will it dominate your destiny.
"I honestly don't know. But I thought you would at least want to try. Or maybe you can talk him into surrendering."
Slowly, very slowly a flicker of hope returned to Obi-Wan. "And the Council agreed to that plan?" During the last weeks, he had not exactly done anything to earn that kind of trust.
"I, uh, haven't told them. And I don't intend to. They told me I could take whatever reinforcements I needed. We could go there with the full power of the Jedi Order and the GAR and risk an open fight against a Sith and his troops – or we choose the subtle route, make him think it's just you, and have the element of surprise on our side."
"You want to use me as bait," Obi-Wan said bitterly. So much for trust. He did not want to do it but he also knew he had to.
"No. I'm taking a chance. As you did when you told me about all of this. So, do you want to come? I'm leaving tomorrow at 0600."
"I can just talk to him?"
"Yes. But…if it doesn't work…" The sentence hung unfinished in the darkness between them.
"I know," Obi-Wan said with a tight throat.
Another silence, until Anakin said softly, "Are you going to hate me?"
Hate Anakin? No. But Obi-Wan did not know if he could still love him after that. "I wish it didn't have to be you."
"So do I," Anakin answered almost inaudibly.
They probably should go inside and rest before their mission tomorrow. But Obi-Wan knew he would not get a wink of sleep anyway, so he might as well stay here and enjoy this place, maybe his last night in the Temple. How often he had been here! Memories passed him by: Bant teaching him how to swim, Master Yoda coming to console him when he had injured himself during training, Garen daring them to kiss a frog, but most of the time Obi-Wan had come here to be on his own, finding peace in the Force when he had been angry or upset.
"It was Dooku who brought me here, to the Temple, when I was a baby," he said into the silence. "And later, it was him who decided to train me against all odds. If it hadn't been for him, I'd never have become a Jedi."
"Did you ever wonder what your life would have been like if he had not found you?"
"You mean if I had stayed with my biological family?"
"Yes. Did you ever wonder what it would have been like to be the king of an important planet?"
"I thought about it the first few days after our scandalous discovery. When you were better at something than me, I pictured myself as a prince and, uh…"
"Me as your slave?!" Anakin said, scandalised.
"Look, I was a kid and deeply jealous," Obi-Wan said, embarrassed on behalf of his younger self. Nevertheless, talking about their childhood when there had been nothing more important than who was the better swordsman eased his mind, made him feel a little lighter. "If it's any consolation, imagining you as a slave was almost as difficult as imagining myself as a king."
"You would've made a shitty king anyway."
"Why, thank you, Anakin."
Anakin chuckled. "You probably would have abolished the monarchy and established democracy on your planet, which, you know, is not what a king should do."
"It's exactly what a king should do."
"See?"
"Right. Well, you would've made a shitty slave. I can't see you bowing to anyone."
"They don't really give you much of a choice, on Tatooine," Anakin said, more seriously now. "The slaves are equipped with an implant which will explode if you try to run away."
Obi-Wan shuddered in disgust. It was hard to believe something like that was still happening in the galaxy. And to think that Anakin had just narrowly escaped such a fate. Now the scar on Anakin's left upper arm had a whole new meaning. "Did it bother you when you found out about your heritage?"
"Of course it did. Like you said, we were kids. The thought that I could have been a slave – that I was born a slave made me feel inferior, especially to you and Bruck. And I could not deal with the fact that Master Yaddle had bought me."
"For what it's worth, I'm sorry for how I reacted. I said some really insensitive things."
"Yeah, well, kids."
"Still. I'm sorry."
"It's fine, I got over it eventually. Qui-Gon explained to me that it doesn't matter where we come from and that in the Jedi Order we're all equals, no matter if you're a Padawan or a Master or, uh, the Chosen One. Because, in the end, we are all only servants of the Force."
"That's a nice thought. He was a good master, wasn't he?"
"I couldn't have asked for a better one."
They fell silent again, listening to the softly rustling leaves and the brook's everlasting murmur.
"Obi-Wan," Anakin said suddenly into the silence and darkness. "What is it like, fighting a Sith?"
Obi-Wan gasped softly in surprise. He had been so caught up in his own thoughts – his memories, his bad conscience, his desperation at what his Master had become – that he had not considered what it all meant for Anakin, the Chosen One, who was given this mission. I need to stay in the here and now, Obi-Wan told himself.
"They are strong. Much stronger than a Jedi," he said honestly, recalling that horrible fight against Darth Maul, "because they rely on the power of the dark side. And when you feel that you are overpowered, it's so tempting to just give in and try to draw power from the dark side, too, but it will never be enough to win against a Sith because that's not who we are and what we were taught to do. You must stay serene and rely on the light side because that is where our true strength lies. You must let the Force help you and listen to it. It is always there and always bright, despite all the darkness around you. It was there when I had no hope and no strength left and it helped me. Anakin, you are the Chosen One, there is the prophecy – you can trust in the Force to be with you."
"There is the prophecy, yes, but… Master Yoda says it doesn't mean I will automatically win against the Sith. And anyway, the future is always in motion. The prophecy is just one possible future, it's more about my potential, not anything set."
"Did you speak to him just now?"
"Yes. I was kind of hoping for something more uplifting."
Obi-Wan swallowed. There was not anything uplifting he had to say. The memory of Darth Maul still made him shudder – the wildness, the raw power, the sheer will to kill. But Anakin was not going to fight Maul. He was going to find Dooku, and that was a whole other matter. Suddenly Obi-Wan knew what he had to do –
"Anakin, I need to show you something." He stood up abruptly. "If it comes to a fight, you need to know how to defend yourself. I… I know Dooku's moves. Come on."
It took Anakin a moment to react but then he followed Obi-Wan towards the combat chambers. Obi-Wan turned on the lights and the room was bathed in a golden glow. It was another trip down memory lane. How many hours they had spent here as younglings and teenagers! There was the faint familiar smell of sweaty clothes. But whereas usually there were the shouted commands, the gasping and panting of the combatants, it was now eerily silent.
Obi-Wan ignited his lightsaber and set it to a low setting. He nodded at Anakin to do the same. They bowed to each other, probably a reflex from all the times they had done this as children. But this was no duel between them.
Obi-Wan took a deep breath. "This is his move if he goes for the kill." His voice sounded forlorn in the huge and empty room. He lifted his lightsaber and demonstrated the move. "If you see it coming, you can block it like this." And so it went. Obi-Wan explained all of Dookus deadliest moves and how to parry them. Anakin did not say much but followed Obi-Wan's instructions with grim determination. They went through the moves again and again. At one point, tears were burning in Obi-Wan's eyes. It felt like betrayal. It had been Dooku who had brought him to the Temple when he had been a baby. And later, it had been Dooku who had, against all odds, decided to train Obi-Wan and thus given him a future as a Jedi. Dooku had spent countless hours teaching him these very moves. If it hadn't been for Dooku, Obi-Wan would never have become a Jedi. And now…
Obi-Wan could not tell how many hours they spent here. Time had lost its meaning during this seemingly endless night. At no point did either of them consider to get some sleep. The constant hum of their lightsabers and their blue glow, the repetitions of the movements was its one kind of meditative. They only stopped when Anakin said it was time to leave for Mustafar.
"Thank you, Obi-Wan," he said earnestly.
Obi-Wan did not trust his voice to say anything in return, so he just nodded tersely.
"Come on." Anakin tried to smile but it did not reach his tired eyes.
They walked through the still silent Temple. The sun had not risen yet when they left Coruscant in a small starship. It took them four hours to get to Mustafar. They only exchanged a few simple words, nothing of importance, just the bare necessities. There wasn't anything left to say. Anakin had been meditating since he had switched to autopilot. Obi-Wan was just staring outside the small window, trying very hard not to imagine all the horrible scenarios that could happen.
The flight passed too quickly. Obi-Wan was not ready at all when Anakin landed the starship on a platform between rivers of lava.
"Here we are," Anakin said.
Obi-Wan nodded. He stood up jerkily and adjusted his tunic, lightsaber and cloak. He was not ready.
Anakin stepped towards him and took both of his hands. Through the Force, he sent Obi-Wan strength and reassurance. It was shaky at best but it still helped to ground Obi-Wan somewhat, make him breathe and let go of some of that paralysing fear that had kept him in a chokehold for the last hours. He tried to send some encouraging thoughts back but he was not sure if it had worked.
"Be strong, Obi-Wan," Anakin murmured.
"Please… give me time. Maybe it doesn't have to end in a fight."
Anakin nodded. "I'm going to wait here."
They both activated their comlinks and Anakin handed Obi-Wan a tracking device, just in case something went wrong. Then Obi-Wan stepped outside.
Dooku was already there.