Kim's quiet, too quiet, her eyes fixed on the road ahead as she drives away from the Rez. Lex wants to say more, wants to ask questions, but the silence unnerves her. Finally, Kim releases her breath in a laboured sigh that says more than words ever could - this is something big, something heavy, and Lex is right to feel nervous.
"Sometimes...people connect in ways that we can't explain. It doesn't make sense. But I know how you feel. When Jared and I first spoke, and I mean really spoke, everything changed - it was like someone was seeing me for the first time. Jared's changed me, and I know that sounds weird, but it's true. When he looks at me, everything is different, and everything is okay."
Lex says nothing. It makes sense when she looks at Kim and Jared - there's something off about them, something too perfect in their synchronicity. Their hyperawareness of each other, the look in Jared's eye, it's more than a typical relationship. Their interactions are both sweet and unsettling in their intensity, and though Kim seems content, Lex can't help but feel an undercurrent of unease.
"It makes sense for you and Jared, I guess. Embry, though? I don't know him. Why...why would he care? Why would he notice me? It doesn't make sense." Lex shakes her head as if trying to shake the thoughts loose. Her temples are beginning to pound with the tension she refuses to let herself express, and all she can think about is not losing her lunch on Kim's dash mats.
"Just let yourself feel. Get to know him, give him a chance. Sometimes things are better left unexplained." Through all this, Kim's eyes remain focused on the twisting roads heading into Forks, as if she can't bring herself to look directly at Lex. She feels like she's not getting a real answer, and Kim's cryptic speech does little to calm her frayed nerves. The women sit in silence for the remainder of the drive, with only a curt goodbye passing between them as Lex exits the beater. And as she curls up in bed that night, Lex can't help but release a muffled scream into her pillow. There are many things that bug Lex. Top of the list: lies.
Monday rolls around, and by that point, Lex's temper has faded and she feels bad for how she reacted to Kim - it wasn't her fault that Embry was acting strangely, and all Kim had done was try and be her friend. When she settles into her usual seat beside Kim for their lecture, she attempts to apologise for her behaviour, but Kim won't have a bar of it.
"Don't be like that. There's nothing to apologise for. The guys are weird," Kim says, rolling her eyes. And just like that, they're back to normal, and the tension that lives low in Lex's belly lessens slightly. The more time she spends with Kim, the more Lex realises how alike they are, like two sides of the same coin. Kim is smart, like ridiculously smart, and she has this incredible way of explaining things that just make even the strangest of things make sense. For once in Lex's life, she's feeling awe, and not intimidation, and she thinks that it's a real testament to Kim's warmth. Lex is so comfortable around Kim that she even agrees to come for lunch with her and some of the men she met on the weekend - something that she absolutely would have not done when she was back in Beaver - and for a moment, things really are looking up for Lex and her social life. And just like clockwork, she's brought back to earth, noticing Embry's instantly recognisable figure sandwiched between Quil and Jared at the lunch table.
It's comedic, really, the way Lex stops in her tracks as Kim continues forward, their linked arms resulting in an awkward jerking motion. Kim follows her eye-line, letting out a small giggle.
"Oops. Guess I should have mentioned that," she says, beaming her trademark angelic smile. She takes stock of Lex; her wide eyes, mildly freaked out grimace; and squeezes her elbow gently. "It's okay. It's only lunch. Please come."
For a moment, Lex considers saying no, retreating to eat alone in the library. She makes the mistake of glancing over at the guys, noticing the way Embry's shoulders are so tense and stiff, how Quil and Jared are speaking to him with faces that are far too serious for the college cafeteria. It's strange, but she feels the urge to head over to the table and see if he's okay. And so she does, taking quick steps across the caf with Kim following a beat behind her. She almost loses her nerve as the guys look up, but Kim's quick to swoop in with a blast of chatter about their morning classes that Jared's all too willing to participate in. Lex takes a seat on the cool metal bench beside Kim, attempting to arrange her face into the most normal expression she can muster. Thankfully, nobody comments on her strangeness, and the guys are perfectly welcoming. Quil is especially friendly, telling her in great detail about their studies. He's finally finished a long explanation of how to complete some kind of repair - honestly, she'd zoned out five minutes ago after mistakenly expressing interest in some topic he mentioned - when a particularly mischievous smirk spreads across his face.
"So, Miss Lex, you'll have to help us out with this one," he says, shooting Embry a teasing glance. He clearly knows what's on Quil's mind, as he groans loudly and shoves him, telling him to shut up. Quil, undeterred, wiggles his eyebrows at Lex. "We couldn't figure out what your name was short for - it's Lexus, right?" Cue groans all around.
Jared socks Quil with a punch that will surely bruise his bicep for days. "You're a fucking dumbass, dude."
Much to everyone's surprise, though, Lex laughs a deep hearty chuckle, and her eyes crinkle with genuine mirth. Kim wonders if this is the first genuine laugh she's heard from Lex in the week she's known her, and she feels a quiet sense of pride that her friends have managed to draw Lex out of her shell. She's clearly at ease with Quil, happily chatting away about her father's traditionalism and superstitions.
"He's a bit of a strange one, and I mean that in the kindest way. He's a real believer that names are like prophecies, that they help shape personalities. I guess that's probably the only way you can come to love being named Hubert," Lex snorts, thinking hard. "He's named after the patron saint of forest workers. I think he's just choosing to overlook that forest work is, like, the only thing you can do in Beaver. Cute theory regardless."
Embry's looking at Lex with that typical serious expression of his, though she doesn't know that all he can think about is how damn adorable she is when she's amused. He wishes he could memorise every detail of her jubilated countenance to recall again and again. He realises he's staring only when she looks down at her knees, face slightly flushed. He clears his throat, wanting to go back to a moment ago when she was confident and smiling and animated. "So what are you named for?"
"Patron saint of shyness?" Quil quips, dodging a crumpled napkin that Kim lobs across the table.
Lex rolls her eyes. "My actual name's Alexandria, but I never use it. It means helper, which I guess was my dad trying to conscript me into taking after him."
"I think it suits you. Teachers are basically the ultimate helpers," Embry muses, brows knitting together as he thinks. The comment catches Lex off-guard, and she can't help but wonder when he started paying attention to her. When she meets his gaze, it's like she's standing before the caf totally nude, like all of her secrets are on display for everyone to see. He has this way of looking that makes her feel so vulnerable, and yet it's somehow exhilarating. Belatedly, she notices that the coil of nerves that's plagued her for days is at its weakest, a low hum of electricity that sets her alight. Lex suddenly understands what Kim means, about this inexplicable connection she feels to Embry, the kind of connection that sets you afire in ways you've never felt. And as she looks into those dark eyes of his, part of her wants to let go, and let herself feel. The other half is fucking terrified.
Things only get worse when the guys complain about their English composition class and Kim volunteers to tutor Quil, and wonders aloud about how it'd lovely if Lex could help Embry. She can't really decline without coming off as a complete asshole and the thought of confessing her mild terror at being alone with him is humiliating. Resigned to her fate, she allows Embry to enter his number into her phone, her stomach somersaulting at the thought of calling him. Kim avoids her glare, but Lex can see the faintest hint of a smile tugging at her cheeks. The more time she spends with Kim, the more she reveals her devious streak, and it's both entertaining and scary. As the men trot off to their next class, it takes all of Lex's strength to refrain from punching Kim.
"No matchmaking. I'm serious," Lex grumbles, but it's pointless – Kim laughs and winks, and Lex realises it's all downhill from here.
The days pass, and Lex doesn't call. Embry wonders what he's done wrong – he's paid close attention to her every day at lunch, even remembering her coffee order so he and Jared can surprise the girls as they study in the library. He thought she'd be pleased, considering how she's non-stop talking about how tired she is. As her hands her the cup, he notices her face screwed up in some strange expression he can't quite read before it smooths out again to something neutral. She thanks him, but he knows something is off, especially as the ache in his stomach is back.
Embry had been fretting all week about the pain, especially after hearing Quil's horror stories about his uncle who'd had weird stomach cramps for a while before the doctors realised it was some freaky kind of cancer. That definitely didn't help his stress. Thankfully, Jared overhears his thoughts during patrol and loses his shit laughing, which Embry was none too impressed with.
Honestly, Embry, I worry about you. Have you ever listened to half the shit we've said about imprinting? How it hurts when your imprint is far from you, that it hurts when they're rejecting the bond?
Embry pauses his patrol, thinking hard. If he was honest, he zoned out a lot during rounds, especially when it came to sappy thoughts about others' imprints. As he mulls it over, he realises it makes sense – the pain lessens over lunch and returns as soon as he's away from her.
Fuck. How the fuck am I supposed to fix this? I can't even get her to talk to me without Kim there!
He takes his frustration out on his surroundings, tearing a sapling from the earth from such force that the branches splinter. Jared watches sympathetically. He can't relate in the slightest – Kim was on him like glue from the moment he looked at her, and he barely felt the imprint tug unless she was a decent distance away from him.
Thanks, asshole. Rub it in a little.
Sorry. Accident. Keep trying, it took Kim time to get her to open up. She'll be worth it.
As always, Jared is right. He'd do anything for Lex, he'd work his ass off to gain her attention for even a second, and he guessed that was the shit part about imprinting. Knowing that you can love someone endlessly, completely, and have them feel completely indifferent about you. Figures.
If you take my Saturday patrol I'll get Kim to put in a good word.
Jared, you conniving bastard. Consider it done.
In a feat that impresses Jared, Kim manages to hold off for a grand total of four days before attempting to play matchmaker between Lex and Embry. To her credit, she only raises the topic at Jared's request - he desperately needs a sleep-in, and Lord knows when their last uninterrupted weekend together was, and so a favour for Embry is actually quite appealing. She waits until she's alone with Lex, on their typical run to the gas station across the road for cheap coffee, to broach the topic.
"So...you called Embry yet?" she asks, smoothing her face into a neutral expression in a bid to conceal the fact she already knows the answer.
Lex presses her lips together, considering her response. "Honestly, no. Cut to the chase and call me an asshole."
Kim rolls her eyes. "I'm not doing that. Why are you avoiding him?" She studies Lex's profile, watching the way she uncomfortably crosses and recrosses her arms across her chest.
"I just...feel uncomfortable around him. Yeah, I get it's tutoring, but it's more than that. As if it's only English help he's after. It's like if I say yes, I text him, then I'm saying yes to something that I'm not ready for, and then I'll look like a fool for getting myself into that situation." Lex huffs out a tense breath of air, refusing to make eye contact. Kim's surprised by her honesty - she'd really thought it'd take a ton of questions to get that out of her - and she's not entirely sure of where to go from there. In the end, she settles for reassurance. She considers the favour done, and so she can go back to focusing on being Kim, the supportive friend, not Kim, the double agent. Looking at Lex makes her feel a sharp twinge of guilt for meddling.
"Embry's a good guy. If all you want to do is help him with his class and then dip, he'd get it. You don't have to be his friend if you don't want to. But please, don't think that he's just out to push you into something you don't want. He's not like that. You can trust him, just like you can trust me." Kim hopes that Lex can feel the sincerity in her words; she genuinely likes Lex for who she is, not for being an imprint, and she wants her to feel comfortable with her. Neither woman says anything further as they wait for their coffee, and Kim begins to think that she's gone too far. She should've known this would happen, but Jared's pleading expression was just too convincing to ignore. Eventually, as they're crossing the road towards the campus, Lex speaks.
"I'll do it. I trust you."
Those words mean more to Kim than Lex will ever know.
Embry wakes up from his post-patrol nap with one unread message.
Are you free on Sunday?
It's from an unsaved number, but he immediately knows who it is. His stomach flip-flops as he reads and rereads the message. She's done it. Kim is an absolute legend. Embry's already planning the perfect thank-you treat for her as he types his reply.
I'll be free after 2. Coffee in La Push sound ok? I know the best place.
He holds his breath as he presses send. It's nothing too exciting, but the sheer fact that he's talking to her - and that she'll actually reply! - is exhilarating enough to have his heart beating double time. He stares at his phone for what feels like an eternity until it vibrates again.
Can't. No car. College library?
No car? How the hell is she getting to college, to work, to (hopefully, eventually) see him? Embry decides to push that concern to the side for now, though he's definitely more stressed about her safety than he was before. Instead, he quickly fires off a reply offering to pick her up, dangling the promise of seeing Kim afterwards like bait. He wishes he was the incentive for coming, but he'll take what he can get. Her reply takes longer this time, making Embry stress like he's back in middle school asking a girl out for the first time. He's over the moon to see her simple yes with her address, and it takes all of his strength to resist replying it's a date. She's finally giving him a chance, and he is absolutely not going to mess this one up.
Even though he's only just finished his patrol, he's quick to duck into the tree line and phase to speak with his brothers. Quil and Brady are phased, and Brady quickly falls silent after a simple greeting. Embry proudly replays the last few minutes for Quil, who lets out a short howl of excitement.
Excellent! Kim is a weapon. No car though? Quil's thoughts cycle through a quick succession of junkers he's seen around the Rez, around Forks, weighing up the idea of acquiring a shitty project car to eventually gift Lex. Embry likes the idea, likes the thought of being able to make her more comfortable, but knows that Lex wouldn't go for it.
It's too soon. Embry lets his mind drift to project cars regardless, thinking back to the days of working on dirtbikes and Jake's Rabbit back in high school. All too quickly, his thoughts are interrupted by Sam bursting into the pack mind.
Emergency? Why are we howling?
Embry replays his excitement for the second time that day, finishing with the memory of Quil's howl.
Congratulations, Embry, but for the love of God, shut up. Don't stress me out like that. With those parting words, Sam disappears from the pack mind as quickly as he came.
Should we place bets on Sam's impending aneurysm? Brady asks teasingly, his thoughts a carousel of the torment they've all put Sam through lately.
Five bucks says it involves Collin, Embry thinks, recalling Sam's lurid red face the week prior as he berated the boy for tussling too close to Emily.
Dude, you know I can't bet against that, Quil whines, causing the three to dissolve into a weird kind of wolf laughter that would concern the most seasoned hiker. Being a wolf had its complications, but Embry is sure that he'd never trade times like this for the world.
Lex manages to pace exactly fourteen laps of her bedroom before Liz bangs on the door, demanding quiet. She acquiesces, flopping onto her cheap mattress and staring at the yellowed ceiling. Why the hell did she let Kim talk her into this? And how is she supposed to have a normal conversation with Embry in – she rolls over to check her alarm clock – exactly seven minutes? Her stomach aches, a deep pain that is only exacerbated by its constant churning. There's just something about Embry that sets her nerves on edge, and the thought of being alone with him for a torturous three-hour stretch is enough to have her jittery. Still, she drags herself to the front porch, figuring that Embry deserves an attempt at friendliness – he hasn't really done anything wrong, aside from being intimidatingly attractive.
And just like clockwork, his truck turns into her street at 2 PM sharp. Lex appreciates his punctuality, thinking back to her childhood characterised by strict adherence to timeliness and efficiency. She approaches the truck in quick, short steps, and her heart flutters as he reaches across to open the passenger door for her. Cute. He's smiling, beaming, a disarmingly sweet grin that leaves her breathless. Lex isn't used to seeing Embry anything other than serious, though she can't help but admit that happiness is a good look on him. Lex returns a smile of her own, smaller, as she settles in beside him in the toasty cab. She can feel the heat radiating from his body like tantalising tendrils that threaten to surround her, draw her in close to his side. Lex is surprised at how badly she wants to be close to him – whose brain is this? – and she makes sure to sit as close to the door as possible. Just to be safe.
"Hey Lex," Embry says lowly, and the flip-flopping in her stomach resumes. "How are you doing?"
She casts her eyes firmly forward as he begins driving. It should be illegal to be this attractive, she thinks, refusing to meet his gaze.
"I'm good," she mutters, remembering that she should really sound cheery. "You had a good morning?"
He looks slightly put off by her prickly disposition but says nothing about it. Instead, Embry chatters away about his shift at work, some security job on the Rez. The more he talks, sharing anecdotes about the guys and the shenanigans they routinely get up to, the more comfortable Lex comes to feel. Of course, she's still tucked up tight in the corner of the cab, but she's at ease enough to laugh and comment every now and then. By the time they're pulling up to the coffee shop twenty minutes later, they're actually talking – yes, reciprocal conversation! – and Embry is so excited he could howl. He darts around the truck's hood without hesitation to open Lex's door, and he realises a moment too late that he was moving far too fast for a human. Thankfully, Lex doesn't seem to notice, and she even accepts his hand to help her out of the truck. Touching her, even for the briefest second, makes Embry feel like his entire body is alight with the hottest flames, and he wishes he could pull her in close, hug her properly. She pulls her hand away all too soon, and it takes everything in him to not look dejected.
Embry is set on being the perfect gentleman – opening doors for her, paying for her coffee (he insists it's a fair exchange for her help) and pulling out her chair. He's quizzed Kim for every shred of information she has on Lex, and he has it on good authority that her family is highly traditional, so he figures that old-fashioned is best. Focusing on English Composition is near impossible when he's sitting across from the most gorgeous woman he's ever seen. It turns out that Lex is immensely enthusiastic about writing and literature, and he's enraptured by her passionate speech and dreamy look as she explains a myriad of things. Despite his constant struggle to remain focused on English – and my God, English has never been this fascinating to him before – Lex is encouraging, offering up plenty of praise. By the end of their study session, Lex actually seems relaxed around him, talking and laughing and even winking at one point. Embry is sure that cute little gesture will be permanently seared into his memory, tucked away in his growing collection of happy Lex memories. He's so emboldened by her praise, her increasing openness, that he feels positive she'll agree to another date with him. Okay, fine, today wasn't really a date, but it sure feels like more than tutoring.
Embry clears his throat. "Hey, maybe we could do this again on Wednesday after class." The suggestion hangs heavy in the air, with his confidence plummeting as the seconds tick by. Lex says nothing.
Finally, she speaks. "It seems like you're getting it. Maybe see how you go with your assignment, I can help you if it doesn't go so well." Embry frowns. His assignment is due in a month.
"I was thinking that we could just hang out, we don't need to study," he offers hopefully, assessing her furrowed brow. This really isn't going as well as he hoped. It's like he can see her retreating back into her introverted shell and he can't understand what he did to scare her off.
"I don't get what you want, Embry," Lex confesses, looking down at her knees. God, did they really have to have this mortifying conversation? "I mean, you're...you're you. Why are you trying to get with me?"
Lex's quiet voice and deepening frown make Embry's chest ache. The thought of her feeling poorly about herself, or that he's somehow superior, deeply troubles him. Why would she even think that?
"I want to get to know you, Lex," Embry says, emphasising her name so that she looks up at him with her deep brown eyes. Those eyes will truly be the death of him. "You're interesting, you're funny, and I sure as hell want to be your friend. Hell, maybe more, if you'd let me take you out."
Lex falls quiet, again, but she looks marginally more relaxed. "Friends. Okay."
Embry nods. "Friends. Good. Now, Kim's?"
He's caught off guard by the sudden return of her broad smile. God, he can't wait for the day that his name will elicit that kind of response. But for now, he settles for this, whatever this quasi-friendship is. Lex is beginning to accept him, and that's all he needs.
A/N: Thanks to everyone who has read this far! I'm doing a bit of experimenting with writing in present tense, rather than past tense, as well as incorporating multiple perspectives in each chapter. I'd love to hear your thoughts. I'll make up my mind about the tense and update the chapters to match when I post next.