Disk 3.1 - Alexandria

Disk 2 recap: As you remember, the first half of Disk 2 of FFIX really sucked with Dagger's stupidity, while the second half turned out to be decent: the obnoxious characters like Steiner, Kuja and Brahne disappeared for a while, the plot turned into a good, almost dramatic direction. (Minus the bad and unfocused love story of Zidane and Garnet that pollutes this entire game) But then Brahne and Kuja come back in Disk 2's finale to be caricatures again, and now Miss Faceless Boredom (Dagger) has become the queen. Now we are going into Disk 3 which, along with Disk 1 at the end of Lindblum and the first half of Disk 2, is the epicenter of writer's impotence, it's the freaking bottom, and Disk 4 is just an acid trip.

Skipping most of the intro.

[Beatrix walks off the boat. All three of them walk off screen, leaving Steiner alone]

Steiner "Three more days until the crowning of a new queen..." "What a day!"

Uh, has everyone forgotten the whole issue of Kuja, who is still at large?

Skipping ahead.

Cinna "H-Hey, Ruby!" "I heard you started a mini-theatre."

Ruby "That's right, darlin'! My plays are a hit!"

How the heck did Ruby start a mini-theatre in Alexandria when Brahne was around and Ruby should have been recognized as part of the Tantalus group that "kidnapped" the princess? She should have gotten arrested.

Skipping ahead.

[She runs left. Cinna follows, then Marcus, then Blank, who knocks into Vivi. Vivi falls down]

Blank "Oops! Sorry..." "Huh!?" "Hey, Vivi!"

Vivi "Hello..."

Blank "I haven't seen you since you left Alexandria Castle! How are ya?"

Vivi "Well, a lot of things happened, but I'm doing fine." "How about you? What have you been doing since we left the castle?"

Blank "Me? Let's see... Oh yeah, it's been crazy since you guys escaped!" "Rusty, that rat chick, Freya, and..." "...what's her face, that girl general of Alexandria..."

"Beatrix."

[Marcus walks on screen]

Blank "Yeah, the three of them got totally worked!" "Marcus and I had to carry 'em out on our backs!" [Blank turns around] "M-Marcus!?"

And that's pretty much all we get on what happened with Steiner, Beatrix and Freya during Disk 2, not even a flashback or ATE of what happened.

Also funny how when Beatrix was on Brahne's side, she was a God-mode Sue, but the moment she turns against her, she actually struggles and gets put on the ropes.

Marcus "We gotta get goin' before Ruby gets mad at us again."

Blank "Oh yeah, she hates it when we're late..." "Sorry, Vivi. I'll see you later!"

[Marcus and Blank run off. Vivi follows them]

- "It's So Big!"

More ATEs again.

[Eiko walks into the entrance of the castle]

How did Eiko get into the Alexandria Castle with no supervision?

"Oh my!" "What a gigantic house!" "I gotta see the inside!"

[3 small chefs walk beside Eiko, in a line, into the castle, chanting "We cook good food!"]

Eiko "Hey!" [They stop and look at her] Sniff sniff... "Something smells delicious!"

Eggmeister "You hungry?"

[Eiko nods]

Ovenmeister "You VERY hungry?"

[Eiko stalls for a bit, then nods again]

Dishmeister "You UNBEARABLY hungry?"

[Eiko pauses again, then nods]

"Too bad!"

[The 3 Meisters walk into the castle. Eiko scowls]

What was the point of this ATE, just to show that the kitchen staff are dicks to children?

- Long Time No See!

[Benero and Zenero reunite with Genero in Alexandria's synth shop]

Benero & Zenero "Been a long time!"

Genero "Been a while!"

Zenero "Where have you been!?"

Benero "We were worried!"

Genero "Sorry, I've been training!"

Benero & Zenero "Training!?"

Genero "Yeah, training!"

Zenero "Training for what?"

Benero "Tell us!"

Genero "It was..."

This ATE was just to show that Tantalus' Benero & Zenero had another sibling whom we never knew or cared about. (And also having to do with a tedious side-quest when you get to Memoria)

- Artemicion

[At the Alexandria steeple, a purple moogle flies down. At the bottom are Stiltzkin and Kupo]

Artemicion "Sorry to keep you guys waiting!" "Hey, Stiltzkin! Long time no see!"

Stiltzkin "Hey, Artemicion. Why does your coat look so shiny?" "Well, it's none of my business. Listen, have you been delivering mail properly?"

Artemicion "O-Of course I have!"

Stiltzkin "Are you sure that you delivered all my mail to my friends?"

Artemicion "Of course I did! You sent out 4."

Stiltzkin "But what about the other 2?"

Did we really need an ATE of these Moogle characters?

- To Fly High

[Blank and Marcus are waiting at the entrance to Ruby's theatre; below the place where Dante the Signmaker was hammering in a sign at the start of the game]

Blank "Zidane's done himself in this time."

Marcus "Yeah..."

Blank "But think about it... He's never been in a serious relationship before." "He probably doesn't even know what to do with himself right now..."

Marcus "Come on, he's in love with a queen. Did he think it'd work out?"

So? I don't see why Garnet can't just let Zidane be with her since she can do that as Queen now. Trust me, we are just getting into this cheap drama.

Blank "I'm sure he thought about that a lot." "That's why he's in turmoil."

Marcus "He looked so depressed..."

Blank "Yeah..." "But this is something he needs to deal with head-on." "This is gonna make him stronger. You'll see."

Keep spouting clichés Blank, also if you knew the results of this BS, you wouldn't be saying that.

Skipping Vivi going to Ruby's theater.

[Screen changes to Princess Garnet's room. Dagger is standing alone, thinking]

Dagger "Steiner?"

[Steiner walks in]

Steiner "Yes, Princess!"

Dagger "Um..." "I'd like to find Zidane and talk to him..."

Steiner "Princess, you have more important matters at hand!" "You live in a different world now!"

I don't see how that is stopping Garnet from having Zidane brought to the castle since she is in charge now.

[The door to the room opens, and Doctor Tot walks in]

Tot "O-Oh. What's happening here?" "Princess, it is time for you to get changed." [Tot walks in. Beatrix is at the doorway] "General Beatrix, will you help her?"

Beatrix "Yes, sir!"

Tot "Oh, there is something I must give you, Princess."

[He lifts his hand; she takes something from him]

[Received Opal!] [Received Topaz!] [Received Amethyst!]

Tot "Those stones contain your power, which Queen Brahne forcibly..." "Well, that is all in the past..."

Yeah well, Brahne taking the Eidolons only happened partially because of you stupidly agreeing to Dagger's dumb "go home and just talk with mom" plan and allowing her on the Gargant ride to Alexandria to get herself captured, Tot. I refer back to what I said before in chapters 9 and 10 about how Tot should have known about Kuja and should have been working with Cid.

Also where were those stones anyways? Did Brahne keep them in her robes and where retrieved from her corpse? And what happened to the Dark Matter? Only the items containing Shiva, Ifrit and Atomos are here while the Dark Matter containing Odin is found at the Auction House in Treno for some reason. This is also where the game shoves a bunch of summons at you all at once with Garnet (Leviathan, Shiva, Ifrit, Atomos and Odin) that requires a lot of grinding with AP (Ability Points) to master them to keep them in your move set, and what's worse is that's all during Dagger's mute wangst and "FAILED, DAGGER COULDN'T CONCENTRATE".

[Beatrix walks towards Steiner and Dagger. Tot walks to the door]

Tot "Master Steiner...?" [Steiner turns to face him] "Master Steiner, do you intend to stay here and watch?"

Steiner "N-No, I am not..." "E-Excuse me!"

[Steiner and Tot leave]

Dagger "Beatrix..." "I'd like to see Zidane... Please?"

Beatrix "Now may not be a good time."

Dagger "Even you agree with Steiner."

Beatrix "Your Highness..."

Dagger "I know... It's okay."

Seriously?! You are the Queen now! What is stopping you from ordering Zidane to be allowed into the Castle and to be with him?!

[Screen changes to Eiko, who is waltzing down a corridor of the castle]

Eiko "With Dagger out of the picture, now's my chance to win Zidane's heart!" "First, I'll write him a love letter." "I'm gonna make it the most romantic letter ever written!"

And here we go with this love letter subplot that forces Steiner and Beatrix together.

[The screen changes to above her: Tot exits Dagger's room]

Tot "Becoming a queen may place quite a burden on Princess Garnet..." "But she must persevere. The people of Alexandria are watching."

Again, what about Kuja? Did everyone forget that he was still a thing?

Skipping the part where Tot meets Eiko.

[Eiko walks off screen]

Tot "That girl has a horn..." "That horn..."

[Flashback time. The screen is very dark: in the background is the pale image of Alexandria harbour, and the boat where Dagger & her biological mother arrived at Alexandria in]

Tot "I had completely forgotten about it until now..." "I'd never been as surprised as I was that day." "A ship drifted ashore after a storm... Inside the ship were a woman and a baby girl..." "The woman was dead, but the girl was still breathing..."

How the heck does that make sense? How could Garnet's mother Jane have died from a storm but Garnet herself, who was just a child at the time, was completely alright? There is also the fact that, as I pointed out before, going by the geography, they should have wound up at Lindblum harbour instead.

Tot "Imagine my surprise as I looked into the girl's face!" "Because the girl..." "...looked exactly like Princess Garnet, who had just passed away."

Well that is the mother of all coincidences, a girl looking just like another girl who passed away just as she showed up and her mom died. How did the original Garnet pass away anyways? Did anyone else besides Tot and the King and Queen know about this?

Tot "With one exception..." "She had a horn!" "A human with a horn..." "Where did she come from?"

Shouldn't you have known or at least suspected that she was a summoner from Madain Sari based on the fact that you were researching the Summoner tribe, who used to live in Alexandria in the past?

Tot "The king ordered the girl's horn removed." "The girl cried out in pain..."

Wow, great parenting. That was pretty risky given that they knew little about the summoners, the horn could have been vital for summoners and removing it could have killed her.

Tot "He and his wife, Queen Brahne, decided to raise the girl as Princess Garnet..." "But that girl who spoke to me... Could she be related to Princess Garnet...?"

The game of course will never explain Eiko's potential blood relations to Garnet (They could be cousins!) so that's disappointing. There is also the fact that we never see Tot telling Garnet any of this, back in chapter 14 Garnet said that she was going to talk to Tot about this and we never see this, Tot just explains this directly to the player with an inner monologue.

Also did this whole scenario really need to be made? Instead of all this pure happenstance, they should have written that Garnet WAS Garnet and not adopted, but also still a summoner, Garnet's father could have actually been from Madain Sari, and Garnet's mother who was the Alexandrian Princess at the time and SHOULD have been Beatrix, took a ship to the Outer Continent to visit Madain Sari to know more about the summoners (especially since they used to live in Alexandria) and Beatrix met Garnet's father, fell in love, went back to Alexandria and got married, became the Queen and King (or prince consort, however it works) and made Garnet, Beatrix DOESN'T die as to just become another Gestahl/Shinra/Deling clone. As for the horn, instead of Summoners being born with it, the horn has to grow out from summon concentration and repeated use. The fanfic "The Thief and his Princess", by RuskaSky, does this sort of thing, and another fanfic by the name of "Filling in the Blanks", by zestychicken2 also does something similar.

[Screen returns to a pondering Tot. Eiko runs back in]

Eiko "Hey, will you hurry up?"

Tot "Oh, excuse me."

[Tot follows Eiko into the other room. Screen returns to Beatrix and Dagger]

Beatrix "Princess, you look splendid."

[Dagger is in a beautiful flowing white dress]

Dagger "Thank you..." "By the way..." "There is something I must tell you, Beatrix."

Beatrix "Yes, Princess?"

Dagger "I am not my mother's... I mean, Queen Brahne is not my real mother."

Beatrix "Princess Garnet..." "Doctor Tot has already informed us." "However..." "My allegiance to you remains the same, if not stronger."

When did Tot do this? Why did he suddenly do that?

Dagger "Beatrix..." "Thank you..."

[Screen changes to Tot and Eiko, in the room]

Eiko "It's finished!" "Zidane will fall in love with me the instant he reads this letter!" "Thanks, Mister!"

Tot "Ha ha... It was my pleasure, my lady."

Eiko "Oh, I forgot to tell you. My name is Eiko!" "I'm from Madain Sari!" "I hope to see you again!" "Buh-Bye!"

[Eiko runs out of the room]

Tot "From Madain Sari...?" "Madain Sari is the village of summoners..." "But I thought it was only a legend." "What could this mean...?"

"Only a legend"? You were doing a lot of deep research about it, and saw Garnet's horn, that didn't confirm anything back then? Blame the bad world building, I guess.

[Screen changes to outside the room. Eiko runs to the next room, on the second floor]

Eiko "Oh, I can't wait to hand this letter to Zidane!" "Where did he go, anyway?"

[She runs to the stairs, but Baku walks out of a doorway on the side. Eiko bumps into him and is knocked over the railing, exclaiming "Aaargh!". She would fall to the first floor, but the wing on the back of her dress gets stuck on the second-floor railing. Baku walks down the stairs to the first floor]

What, is Eiko made of paper or something, there is no why that that impact should have launched her so high and over the railing, that never happened to Vivi when he got knocked over by something.

Eiko "AHHH! HELP!"

Baku "Hey, are ya okay?"

Eiko "C-C-Can't breathe...!"

Baku "Sorry! I didn't see ya jump out." "But yer too high up. I can't getcha down!" "Gwahahaha!"

Then how was Steiner able to get her down later? Why don't you get a stick or a ladder?

Eiko "Stop laughing, you poop!" [She drops the letter. It drifts to the first floor] "Oh, shoot. My letter..." "Hey, if you can't get me down..." "...deliver that letter to Zidane!" "Alright!?"

Baku "To Zidane? Yeah, no problem. Gwahahaha!"

Actually, how did Baku even get into Alexandria Castle? If he can just waltz in here, why couldn't Zidane do the same instead of just moping in the bar?

[Baku walks off screen. Eiko is left hanging there, flailing her arms frantically]

Eiko "What am I supposed to do now!?"

[Screen changes to the waterfront in front of the castle, the only way to reach town. Baku walks to the steps, and sees that no boat is there yet]

Baku "Hey, the boat ain't here!"

[Steiner and two Alexandrian Soldiers run onto the screen]

Steiner "Castle patrol, completed!" [They see Baku standing there] "Huh?" "Why, if it isn't Baku, the leader of Tantalus!"

Baku "Who just called my name?" "Oh, it's you."

Laudo, Pluto Knight IV "Should we capture him?"

"Capture him"? Didn't you guys just let him stroll right in here?

Steiner "No, he saved my life. You may go. I will handle this."

Is Steiner referring to what happened in the Evil Forest or in Disk 2 Alexandria? Zidane and Blank were the ones who did that in the former (and Baku was just going to leave Garnet behind in the Evil Forest), and in the latter, Baku wasn't even there in Alexandria, it was just Marcus and Blank who carried Freya, Steiner and Beatrix out.

"Yes, sir!"

[They salute Steiner and run off screen]

Baku "Ain't such a knucklehead anymore, huh?"

Steiner "Silence!" "This is no place for thieves! You must leave, now."

Then how was Baku allowed into the Castle in the first place?

Baku "So that's how it is, huh? Do I gotta remind you that one of my boys saved your kingdom?"

Technically it was Kuja who "did that" when he killed Brahne, even if he was the one who supposedly made Brahne go crazy. Actually, why is Baku jumping to conclusions and thinking everything is safe when Kuja is still at large? Did everyone just get amnesia and forgot about the guy who caused all this?

Baku "But I bet you ain't got no ears for listenin' to a lowlife like me."

Steiner "Are you talking about Zidane? Yes, he did protect the princess and her kingdom..." "But that doesn't change the fact that you are all thieves!" "I cannot let your kind roam about the castle!"

I guess Kuja isn't the only thing that has been forgotten.

Baku "No appreciation whatsoever, eh?"

Well to be fair to Steiner, you were going to just abandon Garnet in the Evil Forest, Baku, which would have also landed you into some serious hot water with Cid.

"Well, I don't got any reason to stay here, anyway." "Hey, you know where Zidane might be?"

Steiner "He hasn't visited the castle since we returned." "Maybe he can teach you a thing or two about proper manners!"

Oh, so Zidane could have just come into the castle? That is just going to make Zidane's rant in just a few moments even more stupid and forced.

Baku "Okay, I get yer point!" "I've had enough of yer self-righteousness!"

That's rich coming from the guy who was going abandon Garnet and beats his own kids.

[The boat approaches]

Baku "Gwahahaha! Perfect timing!" [Baku walks onto the boat] "Take me into town!" [The boat departs, and we see Baku had dropped the letter on the stairs beside the water. Steiner runs off screen. Beatrix walks on screen, alone]

Why did the boat rower take Baku to the castle in the first place if he wasn't allowed in for being a thief, heck, why did the boat rower allow an unsupervised child like Eiko into the castle?

Beatrix "Ah, so it was Steiner... I thought I heard him yelling." "Sigh..." "Alexandria is at peace again... Yet my heart is full of sorrow." "Why...?"

Gee, maybe it has something to do with the fact that you commited war crimes against the rat people, due to you blindly listening to the obviously bad orders of the obviously bad Queen that Garnet tried to warn you about, but you wouldn't listen.

Beatrix "Hmm?" [She approaches the letter] "Steiner must've dropped this." "Let's see..." [She looks at it and reads it. "When the night sky wears the moon as its pendant, I shall await you at the dock."] "Wh-What is this letter!?" "Did Steiner..." "...write me a love letter?" "Steiner..."

Guess Eiko never told Tot to have the letter addressed specifically to Zidane, that's convenient.

[The screen fades to black, and resumes in the bar where Zidane is moping]

Zidane "Dagger..." "Are you all cozy on your throne already!?" "No!" "No, no, no!" "I can't start my day without Dagger!" "Her smile!" "Her voice!" "Her voice is like a beautiful song..." "And her song makes me soar high into the sky!" "But now..."

Why don't you just go to her then?! Seriously, what happened in-between Disk 2 and 3 and in-between the party leaving the Outer Continent on Brahne's ship and getting back to Alexandria that caused this feigned drama?

Also, where was this reaction when Dagger drugged and abandoned you back in Disk 1 Lindblum until Disk 2 Alexandria when you should have rightfully been upset? That would have made sense then.

"You can still fly high, darlin'!"

[Marcus, Blank, Ruby, and Cinna run in]

Ruby "Zidane, you can do it!"

Cinna "She's right!"

Blank "Why are you still moping? This isn't like you at all!"

Marcus "Yeah!"

Zidane "Stop it! You don't understand how I feel!"

Nobody does, Zidane, because what you feel right now is incredibly forced.

[Zidane heads for the door, and is about to leave, when Baku walks in]

Baku "Long time no see, Zidane!" "What happened? You look pathetic."

Zidane "Boss! Let me join Tantalus again!" "We can steal treasure together, just like old times!"

Are you really that against just walking into the castle to see Garnet? Also Kuja, Zidane, KUJA.

Baku "Treasure, eh?" "There ain't much treasure lyin' around in this world, boy." "Besides..." "A Tantalus always gets what he sets his eyes on!" "That's our rule number one, remember!?" "No, you don't. You got no right to join us." "You understand what I'm sayin'?" "If you can't even capture a canary, you ain't got what it takes to join Tantalus!"

Oh you mean the same canary that you were going to leave behind in the Evil Forest and tried to beat up Zidane for going after her? (Thus in his own words: setting his eyes on her)

Also Zidane didn't "join" Tantalus, he was adopted, why is Baku treating this like a job/organization?

Zidane "Boss..."

[Vivi walks in]

Vivi "Hey, Zidane, can we go see Dagger?"

Baku "Gwahahaha! Why can't you be more honest, like this little guy?"

[The Tantalus members all walk out]

Vivi "Can we? Can we?" "Please?"

Zidane "Alright." "Let's cheer her on before she becomes a queen!"

Vivi "Yeah!"

Oh now you want to go to her? That took a lot of "coaxing".

[Zidane and Vivi exit the bar]

- "I Forgot!"

[Baku is standing in Ruby's theater room]

Baku "Darn, I forgot to give Zidane that letter!" "Huh? Huh? Huh?" [He looks around his body. No letter] "Gwahahaha! I lost it!"

Yes because Baku finding out he lost the letter really needed to be an ATE.

[Zidane and Vivi head for the dock where the boat to Alexandria Castle is. Screen changes to show Freya at the dock, standing beside the water, waiting for the boat to come. Two Alexandrian soldiers are standing on either side of the screen]

Freya "That Zidane... Doesn't even stop by to say hello!"

Oh look Freya is back now, except now she has been demoted to a filler character because her whole subplot has been dropped. Also what does she mean by "stop by"? Zidane was in the bar moping this whole time, unless she means earlier before that, but we never see that and it's never elaborated upon.

[Amarant walks onto the screen. Freya turns around and approaches him. They stand close to each other, staring]

Freya "What are you staring at?"

Amarant "...Are you really that tough?"

Why are you suddenly interested in Freya's skills? All she did was stand there before, just talking to herself.

[They jump apart and get into battle-ready stances]

Freya "Try me!"

Amarant "I don't go looking for trouble, but I'll fight back if trouble finds me."

Says the guy who took a hit job from a psychotic mass-killing Queen, and just walked up to Freya to provoke her for no reason.

Amarant "Why don't you apologize, and maybe I'll forgive you."

Apologize for what? You were the one who just walked up to her and antagonized her.

[They jump to other sides of the screen again]

Freya "Ha!"

Alexandrian Soldier "Stop right now, or I will charge both of you with disorderly conduct!"

[Zidane and Vivi run onto the screen]

Zidane "Hey! What's going on here?"

Freya "Zidane!" "I'd love to stop and talk, but I'm busy right now."

Amarant "Is she...a friend of yours?" "Then tell her who I am. Tell her I'm the Flaming Amarant."

Uh, if Freya didn't know who you were before, I don't think saying your name will phase her now.

Zidane "Sorry, Amarant. She's just a little worked up about something."

Uh yeah, by Amarant himself, stop making pointless lines.

[Zidane walks over to an Alexandrian Soldier]

Zidane "Sorry, babe. They're my friends." [He runs to the other Soldier] "Will you let them go for my sake?"

Alexandrian Soldier "S-Sure... Princess Garnet asked us to give special treatment to you, Master Vivi, and Miss Freya."

Why is she addressing Vivi as "master"? Isn't that Steiner's thing? This guard never met Vivi.

Zidane (Dagger...) "I-I see. Thanks!" "Hey, Freya... Stop being so mad, alright?"

Freya "Do you know why I'm really mad?" "It's because of you!"

Then why did you say that you would love to stop and talk to Zidane when he showed up?

Freya "Where have you been!? Dagger is about to become queen, and you're off wandering about!"

Why do you suddenly care? You barely knew Garnet and payed attention to her and Zidane's feeling for each other. (I refer to all the way back in chapter 4 about how Freya and Garnet should have interacted with and spent time with each other)

Freya "Have you found out anything more about Kuja!?" "Well? Answer me!"

When did Freya learn about Kuja? Offscreen?

Zidane "Um..." "Well, I tried to find more info, but..."

Freya "Look, if Kuja was responsible for taking Dagger's eidolons..."

No, that was Zorn and Thorn, who gave them to Brahne, Kuja just vanished at that point for… some reason.

Freya "...and killing Brahne, who was working with him..." "Don't you think he'd come after Dagger again!?"

THAT is a perfect observation by Freya, she is the only one who hasn't apparently completely forgotten about Kuja. But of course near the end of this chapter, she will forget anyway and be an idiot.

Zidane "I know..." "But what can I do?" "I couldn't even talk to her, remember?"

Only because you have been moping in a bar instead of going to the castle.

Zidane "I don't even know if I can protect her..."

Well you haven't exactly been doing a good job of that since Disk 1 Lindblum, not that that was completely your fault.

Zidane "Besides, she's gonna be queen. She'll have all the guards she'll need." "She won't need me."

Yeah because those guards did "such" a good job with Brahne, preventing whatever Kuja did to Brahne to make her go crazy, and preventing her from getting blown up by Bahamut when Kuja hijacked him. Do you have short term memory loss, Zidane?

Vivi "But Zidane..." "I think Dagger wants to see you." "So... Let's go see her!"

Zidane "Yeah..." "But we'll leave as soon as we're done."

Amarant "Zidane..." "You're not gettin' away from me. You still owe me a rematch."

Thank you for reminding us of the only reason that you are here, Amarant.

Zidane "Suit yourself."

[Screen goes black. A boat approaches. Zidane goes onto it, and heads for the castle. He gets to the entrance and sees Steiner carrying Eiko out, holding her wing ornament like Lani did in Madain Sari]

Eiko "Aaahhh! Leggo!" [Steiner drops her] "Ouch!" "This is no way to treat a lady!"

Steiner "Quit screaming, or I'll throw you into the dungeon!"

Wow, threatening to throw a child in the dungeon, Steiner has really become a great guy hasn't he? *Sarcasm*

Eiko "GAAAHHH!"

Zidane "What happened, Eiko?"

Eiko "Zidane!" "Oh, it was horrible!" "He called me a liar and a loudmouth and a brat!"

Amarant "...He's right."

Eiko "What did you just say!? Do you want to repeat that!?"

Amarant "Man, I hate kids..."

And yet you were against Lani taking Eiko hostage.

Freya "Calm down a little. What is your name?"

Eiko "Me? I'm Eiko! Eiko Carol of Madain Sari!"

Freya "From Madain Sari? Why, I've never heard of it."

Oh so Amarant has heard of the legends of Summoning but Freya hasn't?

Eiko "Don't you know anything? Madain Sari is a-"

Steiner "Silence! What are you all doing here!?" "This is the royal castle! You do not belong here!"

Then why was Eiko and Baku allowed in in the first place? Why did the boat keeper let Zidane and the others across the moat? Didn't that guard from before say that Garnet had told them all to allow Zidane and the others in? Heck, didn't Steiner himself imply earlier when he was talking to Baku that he wasn't against Zidane visiting the castle?

Does this also apply to Freya? Whom Steiner HELPED.

Vivi "Hello, Mister Steiner."

Steiner "Master Vivi! A pleasure to see you again."

Vivi "We came to see Dagger."

Steiner "The princess? Hmm..." "If that is Master Vivi's wish, I shall arrange a meeting."

Oh so now Steiner is a-ok just because Vivi said it? Funny how the game acted like Steiner had gone through "development", only for him to go right back to "NO MONKEY BOYS NEAR GARNET OR THE CASTLE!".

[Screen fades to black. Resumes at the base of the stairs, below the door to Dagger's room. Steiner and the five other characters are gathered there]

Steiner "You all wait right there!" [He runs up the stairs] "Princess, we are ready."

[The door opens. Dagger walks out, followed by Beatrix. She walks up to the railing, looking down at everyone]

Dagger "Thank you for coming, everyone."

Eiko "She looks beautiful..."

Vivi "Wow... You look beautiful!"

Redundant dialogue is redundant.

Freya "Splendid!" "Zidane? Have you nothing to say?"

Zidane "...No."

Steiner "Princess, we must go now."

Dagger (Zidane...) "...Alright."

Eiko "Dagger, wait!" [Eiko runs up the stairs] "Dagger! Is this the last time we're ever gonna see each other?"

Garnet "Oh, no. Of course not." "I won't be able to wander around the world with you anymore..." "...but I'll never forget our journey together."

Oh so even Garnet has forgotten about Kuja. Kuja himself last chapter, just before he took over Bahamut with the Invincible, shouted out that he was going to attack Alexandria, granted it was probably out of ear shot of Zidane and Garnet and the others, but what about Brahne whom Kuja was speaking to? She didn't tell Garnet and the others about that just before she died? Unless Brahne also didn't hear and Kuja was just monologuing to himself again.

Eiko "Dagger..." "I wanted us to remain good rivals forever."

Garnet "Rivals? Eiko, you say funny things sometimes." "Oh, there are some things I wanted to give you." "Let's trade the jewels as a symbol of our friendship." "Two of my jewels..."

Since Eiko has the Memory Earring already, those other two jewels must be the "Falcon Claw" from Lindblum and the "Desert Star" from Cleyra, but why is she giving them to Eiko? Those technically weren't her jewels. Doesn't Cid (who isn't present here to see his niece for no good reason) and the rat people want those jewels back considering they belonged to them until Brahne stole them? Pay attention to these details because it ties into Kuja later when he attacks Alexandria to get Alexander and how his plan relied on a lot of happenstances.

Eiko "Two of my jewels..."

Is this a typo, because Eiko should be saying "your" instead of "my".

Garnet "Goodbye, Eiko."

[Beatrix and Dagger walk back into their room, followed by Steiner. Eiko runs down the stairs]

Vivi "Why didn't you say anything to her, Zidane?"

Zidane "I don't know..." "I tried..."

Freya "And?"

Zidane "I couldn't say anything!" "I had a whole speech ready for her." "But it would've been a lie! How could I lie to her!?" "'Good luck, Dagger! I'll be watching you from afar.'" "'Come find me if you need someone to talk to.'" "It's a big fat lie! That's not how I feel at all!" "That's not how I feel...at all."

So? What the heck, now that Garnet is Queen can she not just spit on the dumb Status Quo and be with the one she loves? Why do this quick "meeting" at all, why not just invite Zidane and her friends to a banquet? Why does Garnet not turn to Zidane, and the others, for love and support in this "most important moment"? Why doesn't Zidane say "screw it" and sneaks in through a window to see her? This is what I'm talking about, this is all such blatantly forced drama and not good romance (not that it has been good before this point as it wasn't even majorly and properly focused upon since the beginning of the game), and what's worse is that it will all be rendered moot and forgotten by even more forced drama later.

[Screen fades to black. Fades back in. It's twilight, and Eiko is at the water fountain at the front of the castle]

Eiko "So, there's only room for Dagger in Zidane's heart..." "I wish I hadn't written that stupid letter." "Zidane looked so sad..." "Isn't there anything I can do for him?" "Aaahhhhhh! Zidane! I hate you!" "You insensitive fool!" "You don't even know how I feel..." "I feel bad about ditching him, but I really don't feel like seeing him tonight." "I gotta hide before he shows up!" [She's about to run away] "Shoot!" "Someone's coming! Could it be Zidane!?"

And then there's this love letter bullshit.

[Eiko runs and hides behind one of the two sets of stairs leading past the water fountain. Marcus and Blank run onto the screen, taking a quick look around]

Marcus "There's no one here, Bro."

Blank "I guess I'm early..."

Marcus "...Maybe." "I wonder who wrote you that love letter?"

Uh, did we miss a scene? How did Blank get that love letter when Beatrix had it? How did it get all the way to Blank? What is even the point of having Blank and Marcus here?

Blank "Well... Just read the letter. I bet she's beautiful!"

Marcus "Really? Are you sure you didn't write it yourself?" "I mean, you caught the letter falling from the floor above you, right?"

Blank "I'm telling you, she was too shy to hand me the letter herself!" "And if you don't think I'm a ladies' man, you're wrong." "Chicks are intimidated by good-looking guys."

Marcus "Someone's coming!"

Blank "Marcus! Don't interrupt me while I'm talking!"

You were done talking though, and your bro was trying to warn you about someone coming.

Marcus "Let's hide, Bro!"

Blank "Alright, alright..."

Why? For all you know, it could be the girl you think sent you the love letter.

[Blank drops the letter. They hide behind the right staircase; Eiko is still behind the left one. Both parties eavesdrop. Steiner runs on screen]

Steiner "I must tighten up security around the castle from now on!" "Dusk to dawn, rain or shine, I must patrol the castle!" "Right, clear!" "Left, clear!" "Huh?" [Steiner walks to, and picks up, the letter] "It's a piece of paper..." "This looks like a letter." "Let's see..." [He reads it. "When the night sky wears the moon as its pendant, I shall await you at the dock."] "M-M-My goodness!" "Th-This is a love letter!" "Who wrote it to whom!?" "Hmm... No address or addressee..." "Did someone drop it here, knowing that I would pass by?" "Who could it have been...?"

[Beatrix walks up to him from behind]

Beatrix "Steiner..."

[Steiner turns around and faces her]

Steiner "Beatrix... Was it you...?"

Eiko Thump thump... (A-Are they in love?)

Marcus "(B-Bro...)"

Blank "(Shh! Quiet!)"

[Steiner and Beatrix approach each other]

Beatrix "Steiner..."

Steiner "Beatrix..."

…Really? Before this point, Steiner and Beatrix have had very little chemistry, at the beginning of the game Steiner complains about Beatrix "always trying to one-up him" there was no infatuation implied, not to mention Beatrix committing war crimes and showing no concern of Steiner's whereabouts (like with Garnet as I've mentioned before) back in Burmecia, and in Disk 2 Alexandria she mocked Steiner for associating with "scoundrels" and fought him along with the others and called him pathetic, even if initially. (but I've already gone into how horribly written Beatrix is) Sure, he goes back for Beatrix and Freya in Disk 2 but that seemed to be more of a chivalrous thing rather than romantic motivation. Yet FFVIII is the one that keeps getting complained about for being "bad with romance".

Eiko (Ooo! What's gonna happen?)

Marcus "(M-My nose is bleeding...)"

Ah, the old horny nosebleed joke, but why is Marcus having it? Nothing lewd is going on, Beatrix and Steiner are just staring at each other right now.

Blank "(Then stick your thumb up it!)"

This is exactly what the screenwriter should have done when this stupid forced scenario was pulled out of his ass.

[Steiner and Beatrix take a step forward. They're now right beside each other]

"AAA-CHOO!"

[Baku walks on screen. Beatrix steps back. The mood is lost]

"AAA-CHOO!"

Blank "Boss!?"

Eiko "Oh, you totally ruined the scene!"

An incredibly forced scene.

[Screen fades to black. Fades back in the bar, where Amarant, Freya, and Vivi are gathered]

Freya "That Zidane... Where did he go?"

Amarant "Who knows..."

Vivi "I'll go look for him..." [He runs to the door; Eiko walks in, he bumps into her and falls down]

Eiko "Ahh!" "Hey, watch it!" "I'm NOT in a good mood right now! Stay out of my way!" [Eiko runs to the left side of the bar. Doctor Tot walks in]

Tot "Excuse me." "Have you seen a young lady named Eiko?"

[Screen moves to show Eiko, sitting on a set of stairs on the left side]

Eiko "Oh!" [She jumps down and approaches Tot] "It's the nerdy guy!"

Tot "Ha ha ha... You're as energetic as ever."

Eiko "Yup! I'm always energetic!" "(But I'm actually hurting on the inside from being rejected by Zidane...)"

You can't be "rejected" when you never even confessed to him in the first place, plus, you are only frigging six, Eiko, what six year old thinks like this?

Tot "Did you say something?"

Eiko "No, I didn't!" "Didn't you come here to talk to me about something?"

Tot "Oh yes. I almost forgot..." "Your village... What was the name...?"

Eiko "Madain Sari."

Tot "Yes, I wanted to ask you a few questions about Madain Sari."

Eiko "Sure, I'll tell you everything I know. You helped me out." "But why don't we go to your place? We can relax there."

Tot "To my home?" "My home is located in Treno. It's a bit far from here..."

Eiko "Treno? Sounds like a cool place!" "I'm really interested in sightseeing! I wanna go there."

Zidane "I'm coming with you!" [He walks into the bar] "There's a card game tournament going on in Treno right now." "I wanna participate."

Seriously? You are just going to go to Treno while a maniac who you saw hijack an Eidolon and devastate an entire fleet is on the loose with that same Eidolon, Bahamut and Freya just told you will no doubt go after Garnet, but speaking of Freya…

Vivi "A card game tournament? That sounds fun." "I wanna go, too..."

Freya "I'd like to go as well."

ARE YOU FOR REAL?! You were the one who warned Zidane about the above and now you are pulling a flip on that as well? Did everyone just take stupid pills?

Amarant "Treno, huh...?"

Tot "Ha ha ha... Quite a party this is becoming." "It would be my pleasure. We shall all go to Treno."

[Screen fades to black. Resumes in the Alexandrian exit of Gargan Roo]

Okay to get to this place, the party had to have gone through Alexandria Castle up to Brahne's room (which is right next to Garnet's room) through the secret passage to get here, meaning that there was no way they, especially Zidane, could have gone through here without running into Garnet.

Zidane "There's still Mist here..."

Eiko "Kinda looks like the Iifa Tree before we got rid of the Mist."

Vivi "I don't think the Mist is as dense as it was before."

Tot "Yes, I heard that you all stopped the Mist..." "The Mist permeated through the roots. That is probably why it still lingers here."

And again you all aren't the slightest bit curious as to why the Iifa Tree did all that and what Kuja's connection to it is? Especially Tot, who is supposed to be a scholar and a scientist.

[A gargant approaches them]

Freya "...This is a gargant?"

Tot "Yes. Shall we?"

Considering the last time the Gargant was rid on here, snake monsters attack it and chased it all the way to Pinnacle Rocks, but the Ralvuimago that chased it before doesn't show up again now. Also is there more than one Gargant that has a coach on it? Because the Gargant from before that ran to Pinnacle Rocks lost it's coach as we see it detached and laying around in that place.

[They all walk onto the gargant coach, as the screen fades to black]

- Clowns on a Dark Night

[Zorn and Thorn are in Alexandria Square. A statue is in the middle]

Zorn "No one is here!"

Thorn "Is no one here, really?"

Zorn "Yes!"

Thorn "Sure, you are about that?"

Zorn "That is enough!"

Thorn "Now, we do what?"

Zorn "We are going to ask Princess Garnet if we can return to the castle."

Thorn "Return to the castle? Can we really!?"

I don't see how these morons can think that that can work out for them considering they ripped Garnet's Eidolons out of her and sent a bunch of bandersnatches to try and kill her and Beatrix on Brahne's orders.

And considering what they are revealed to be later and how Kuja seems to know that, that just raises more unanswered questions, why didn't they just go to Kuja from the start after Brahne dismissed them?

Zorn "I will not know until-" "!" "We must hide!"

[They hide behind the statue. Blank and Marcus run onto the screen]

Blank "Looks like no one's here."

Marcus "Yeah."

Blank "I guess this is about the only thing we can do for Zidane..." "...Keep up the night watch and preserve Alexandria's peace."

Marcus "Yeah, I think so, too."

Or maybe you guys should have told Zidane that leaving to go to Treno for a card game was a really freaking stupid idea.

Also do you two really think you would he a match for the white haired guy who now has control of a powerful Eidolon?

Blank "What a peaceful night. It's almost scary..."

[They walk around the statue; Zorn and Thorn moved around it, to avoid them]

Blank "Okay, let's finish our rounds."

Marcus "Alright."

[They run off]

Zorn "That was close."

Thorn "Now what?"

Zorn "We cannot stay as long as those meddlers are here!" "We must leave Alexandria!"

Blank and Marcus are not what is stopping you, I refer to what I said above when they said that they would ask Garnet to return to the castle.

[They run out of Alexandria]

End of Chapter 16.

Good, managed to get this one out quicker.