Time without Seth ticks by as slow as molasses, the little hand on the analogue clock torturously creeping its passage around the face. She's five cups of coffee deep by the time her relief arrives at six-oh-four, late as always. It's still pitch black outside, the surrounds faintly illuminated by the dim glow of the lights on each bowser. As Lex shrugs on her coat she wonders who she'll be meeting today - it's been a revolving cast of characters lately, but there's only one person she really wants to see. And to her delight, it's the dented truck that's waiting for her, parked askew in the customer lot. She'd normally jog over to him, keenly anticipating the toasty warmth of the cab, but after a full day and a half on her feet, she's nothing left to give. The trudge towards the truck is slow, punishing even, the sleet from the early morning rain seeping into her socks through the holes in her boots. Embry, ever the gentleman, wastes no time in pushing the passenger door open for her. Lex wordlessly climbs into the seat, slumping low into the cushy vinyl. She can feel his eyes on her, studying her, but she doesn't care. She's too far gone.
"Hey, you okay? You look like death," he says, wincing. "Not that you look bad. Just tired. Can you say something? You're stressing me out." He reaches his hand out to lightly touch her shoulder, wondering if he needs to floor it to Sue's for a quick work-up. The dark circles under her closed eyes, her ghostly pallor, all point towards something worrying. It's only when she lets out a little disgruntled groan that he relaxes.
"I'm fine, Em. Just exhausted. I've been up since five," she says, sighing.
His eyes dart to the clock radio, then back to her. It certainly explains a lot.
"Christ, Lex, you're going to kill yourself at this rate."
She scoffs. "Tell that to my bills," she says, yawning. Lex turns in the seat to press her face against the seat, scooting towards him slightly. All it takes is one good look at her spent figure before his mind is made.
He runs his tongue across his teeth, considering how best to frame his thoughts. "How about...you want to come over to mine, have a good sleep, and I can make you something to eat. You can get some rest and Kim can catch you up on college stuff later?"
It's a ballsy move, inviting her back to his place, but every cell in his body is singing out to protect her, and he can't do that if she's holed up in her place in Forks.
She frowns, pressing her face further into the seat. "I need to go to college," she murmurs, sounding halfway to sleep.
"You need sleep. Kim can help you later," he urges, studying her face closely.
Lex groans again, softer this time, and nods her head slightly. "Okay. Just a little sleep, though."
"Okay. Just a little sleep," he agrees, putting the truck into gear. Lex is asleep by the time they hit the main road, her soft snores filling the silence that blankets them. Embry takes the drive slow, feeling both elation and trepidation - she's here, letting him look after her, and his place is a tip. Living in a sty was a small concession he'd had to make after moving in with Quil and Jared, but if he'd known she'd even consider coming to his house he'd have made sure it was immaculate first. Embry can only pray that she stays passed out while he brings her into the house, all in the hopes that she doesn't notice the mess. Lex's been on a softer note lately, a little less scathing, so maybe she wouldn't care too much, he thinks, feeling a dash of hope. She stirs a little when he lifts her from the cab, cradling her to his chest with all of the gentleness he can muster. The heat radiating from his body seems to soothe her, though, and she's quickly reduced to snores with minimal effort on his part.
As he climbs the porch steps he pauses to consider his options. He can deposit her on the couch, but it's probably uncomfortable for a human (he's pretty resistant to all sorts of discomfort now) and she'll definitely be awoken by Quil once he wakes. The alternative is tucking her into his bed; it's far more comfortable and quiet, but she may be weirded out by his forwardness. Embry nudges the screen door open with his foot, attempting to hold her steady against his body.
"Motherfucker!" Jared cusses from deep within the kitchen, moments after a series of metallic bangs echo through the bungalow.
Embry growls lowly in response, eyes flickering down to the woman in his arms. She's dead to the world, and soon, Jared will be dead to him also. His mind is made up - Lex will be tucked into his bed, and he'll stretch out on the couch until she's finished her nap. It's what's best for her, after all. He's almost finished covering her with all of the blankets he can find in the house when she reaches out for him, fingers blindly grasping at his shirt. He allows himself one unrestrained moment of affection, leaning down to press a kiss against her hand. Her skin is soft and cool against his lips, a discovery that will surely keep him awake for nights to come. He's sure she's still asleep, but the little hum of satisfaction she emits after his kiss sends a shiver of contentment down his spine. Bringing her home was the right choice. He's sure of it.
"Lex? Hey, honey, it's me."
The sound of his low voice calling her name has Lex on high alert, instantly roused from sleep and searching for him. Without meaning to, she's stretched out her arms, instinctively trying to summon him close to her. He enters the bedroom silently, wearing nothing but a pair of ripped jeans that leave little to the imagination. Lex can't help the way her eyes are drifting south, sneaking little glimpses at his taut physique, and by the way that he's smirking, she knows it was most definitely his intention. Wordlessly, Embry coils his arms tight around her, almost possessively, sending a little tingle of delight through Lex's entire body. He's close, so close, his entire body pressed up against hers, and as he tips his head to skim his nose against her jaw she thinks she may just lose it.
"I've been waiting for you," he says lowly, his mouth leaving feather-light kisses against the column of her neck. His lips are deliciously soft and endlessly distracting; it takes all of her focus to stay centred, present, rather than losing herself in the sensations. Lex swallows thickly, speechless at the man in such close proximity. Embry draws his head back suddenly to appraise her, his eyes darkening at her look of anticipation.
"I'm going to kiss you, now," he murmurs, bringing his face to meet hers agonisingly slowly.
Her eyelids flutter shut in expectation as she tilts her mouth up to reach his, aching to feel his lips on hers. She can feel his breath, the touch of his hands on her waist, and -
Somewhere, a door slams. Lex presses her hands against her face, testing her reality. What the hell was that? She'd had dreams with Embry in them, sure, but nothing like that. Nothing where she had wanted him that badly, or dreams where she'd given in to her desires. How can she be thinking about Embry like that, like he isn't her best friend? It's wrong, so wrong, to think of him that way, but she'd be lying if she said she hadn't enjoyed it. Lex is midway through dragging her hands down her face when she hears a soft knock at the door. She'd rather bury herself deep in the blankets and pretend not to exist on this plane of reality, but she begrudgingly settles for calling for the person to come in.
And, of course, it's Embry, as if summoned by her illicit dream. Thankfully, he's wearing a shirt this time around - she definitely wouldn't survive, otherwise - and he lingers in the doorway, rather than approaching the bed. Hang on. Embry? Suddenly, the events of the past twenty-four hours come rushing back to her. Her, working late. Her, seeing Seth. Her, agreeing to come back to his place. And now, her, in his bed, having saucy dreams about him. Lex can't help the groan that slips out of her mouth as she flops back into the bed, obliging her need to cover herself in a pile of blankets (seriously, what guy has so many blankets?).
"Uh...are you okay?" he asks hesitantly, half-wondering if he needs to drag Kim over to retrieve Lex. All he can see from the doorway is one unmoving lump under a formidable collection of sheets and blankets - he'd raided Quil and Jared's cupboards to make sure she'd be warm enough - and her silence is starting to worry him. He'd been expecting a lukewarm response, maybe some hesitation after he'd woken her up, but losing her to the bed wasn't really on his list of worries.
After a long moment, she lets out a small grunt, flipping the covers back to expose her pink face. "I kind of forgot you brought me here," she says, avoiding his gaze.
He knows she's nervous, but the laugh slips out anyway. Before he can even think of apologising, she giggles, and the awkward mood dissolves like a sugar cube in hot coffee.
"Come on, sleepyhead. It's already four."
Lex sits bolt upright. "Four? I slept all day? Fuck!"
She launches herself out of the bed, scrambling to right her messy clothing. Even with her hair a mess and clothing rumpled, she's absolutely gorgeous, made even more appealing by the fact she's been cozied up in his bed all day.
He holds up his hands in his best attempt at a calming gesture. "Lex, it's all good. You were tired. Kim's coming over for dinner with some work, you can catch up on study then."
Her expression's still screaming stressed, but she's stopped her frantic scrambling, which Embry considers a bonus. Still, he wants to put her mind at ease, make her comfortable in his home, especially since it's the first time she's been over.
"Do you want to take a shower? You can borrow something to wear," he offers, thinking about Jared's overflowing drawers of Kim's cast-offs.
"Oh! Uh, yeah, that would be great. I feel so nasty after work," she laughs, wrapping her hair into a tighter bun. "You're pretty tall, I could probably manage with a shirt as a dress."
He's fortunate that her head's turned, checking out his closet, since his expression is probably something mortifyingly cheesy. She wants to wear something of his? He's thought about her in his clothes all too many times, everything from cutesy fantasies to the kind of thoughts that garner mockery on patrols. Embry can feel his cheeks burning as he crosses the room to rifle through his drawers, but if Lex sees, she says nothing. Finally, he finds the shirt he's after - one of his favourites, a well-worn burgundy tee that was once a memento from his and Quil's first concert. Now, with the flaking decal and faded print, it's lost a lot of its lustre from when he first set eyes on it years ago, but she happily takes it from him without complaint.
Lex looks up at him, her big eyes shining. "You like Yellowcard too? Maybe you're cooler than I give you credit for, Em," she teases, poking his side.
He grins so widely that his cheeks hurt. Her approval is the greatest accolade, and it's always entirely unexpected. Waiting for her to finish her shower feels like torture, especially since he's been fighting the urge to wake her up all day. Instead, he's been endlessly productive to try and distract himself, working on everything from the house to her car. Their bungalow has never been cleaner, but Embry's certain it won't last for long.
"Kim! C'mon, you've gotta help me out here," Lex begs, leaning across Embry to try and reach the textbook he's snatched away.
Kim laughs, shaking her head. "No more study! My brain's going to explode. You already know the stuff, anyway, you'll be fine."
Lex tips her head back, dramatically groaning. His eyes are immediately drawn to the creamy expanse of skin on display, wondering what it would feel like to bury his face in the crook of her neck, inhaling her hypnotising scent. Embry blinks hard, bringing himself back to the living room scene. He needs to get his head straight - fantasising about her is so not helpful, especially since she's only just gotten comfortable being friendly around him. Then again, agreeing to lend Lex one of his shirts was even less helpful in helping him hold on to his control. She was right - his shirts are practically dresses on her - but trying to keep his eyes away from her exposed legs is a mission in itself. He ends up excusing himself to the kitchen in the guise of fixing Lex a coffee, but judging by Kim's eye roll, his distraction is plainly obvious.
Jared leans over the breakfast bar with a shit-eating grin on his face. "Dude, you are so whipped," he ribs, laughing at Embry's scowl.
Embry growls lowly in response. "Fuck off, man. As if you wouldn't be distracted by Kim in one of your shirts.
Jared shrugs good-naturedly. "True, true. Still funny, though. I give it two weeks before you die of horniness."
Jared's quick, but not quick enough, and the impulsively flung spoon smacks him dead-centre in the forehead, clattering to the floor.
"Hey!" Kim calls, voice travelling from the next room. "Em, you better not be hitting my boyfriend!"
"He deserved it!" Embry exclaims childishly, hastily dodging Jared's playful jabs.
Lex whispers, but they hear it anyway. "Do they ever stop?"
Kim sighs. "Never."
The days seem to drag by as Saturday draws closer. By Thursday, Lex is thinking about cancelling. By Friday, she's sure. She even gets as far as writing some contrived text to send to Embry - unsent, of course, she doesn't have the guts - when Kim arrives on her doorstep. Lex is a little hesitant as she opens the door, but that doesn't deter Kim from squeezing through the opening to throw herself down on the patchwork couch.
"Hey, bud. Thought we could have a girls' night tonight," she says, glancing at Lex from her inverted position on the lounge. "Where do you keep the TV remote?"
Lex sighs. There's no getting out of tomorrow. "It'll be somewhere in the cushions. I'll go get some snacks," she says, padding off into the kitchen. When she eventually returns, arms laden with assorted leftovers from her depressing pantry, Kim's swaddled in the thick throw blanket with a movie already loaded up.
"Bright Star," she explains, wiggling over to make room on the sofa. "Em said you like poetry?"
Lex nods vigorously, her apprehension quickly evaporating. Kim's thoughtful, that's always been clear, but she's patient and kind, too, and Lex is quickly becoming used to her constant presence. Kim's like a cooler, more self-assured older sister she'd always wished she'd had, and part of Lex wishes she could tell Kim that. Instead, she settles for snuggling up with her in the itchy wool blanket, growing immersed in the movie. They're both crying as the screen blackens, the tears bubbling up through slightly crazed laughter.
"I can't believe I've seen you cry! That's kind of special," Kim says, wiping her eyes on her sweater.
"I'm totally in touch with my emotions," Lex says, attempting to keep her face serious. "I saw them, I felt them, and then I told them to never come back."
They dissolve into laughter again, the tears melting away into silliness. When they settle down, Kim directs her with a more earnest expression.
"You know you can talk to me, right? Whatever's on your mind, you can talk to me about it. I promise you," she says, lightly gripping Lex's hands, "that it stays between us."
Lex looks down at her crossed legs. She's never been one to share secrets, but then again, she's never really had someone to share with. She has Kim now, Kim who is caring and soft and sisterly, that's never done her wrong (yet, the little voice in her head says). Still, and she's not sure whether it was the unexpected tears or the kind gesture, there's a growing impulse to talk, and she's starting to think that straying down that path isn't such a bad idea.
Lex sucks in a deep breath, wondering whether she can actually get the words out. "I think...I think that maybe, I might, I...I like Embry," she says, jumbling the words together in a single exhale.
Kim's eyes widen. Clearly that wasn't the secret she was expecting. She's silent for a moment, mouth slightly open in a surprised 'o', before reaching out again to squeeze Lex's hands, more firmly this time.
"No way," she breathes, stunned. "You two would be so cute together!"
Lex lets out a shaky laugh. "No...we...we can't. I can't date him."
"What? Why not? He is so into you, Lex," Kim says, as if trying to reassure her.
"It's not that," Lex mumbles, looking a little pale. "I've never done anything before. Like, I've never had friends, never had a boyfriend. How am I meant to date him when I literally want to run away every time he looks at me?"
Lex is back looking at her knees, her hair falling forward to cover her face, but Kim swears she can see the tell-tale glisten of tears on her cheeks.
"C'mere," Kim says, opening her arms wide for a hug. Lex curls herself into Kim's arms, immediately missing the heat she's come to expect from hugs. Still, the embrace is soothing, validating, like sharing her fears wasn't all for naught. Kim only lets go once she's sure the tears have stopped, wiped away as if they never existed.
"I'm going to call for pizza," Kim says, phone in hand. "Pizza, and then we can forget about boys and drama and all of that stuff."
It's certain: Kim is most definitely the best friend Lex's ever had.
Kim ends up staying over Friday night, and they spend the majority of Saturday working on assignments for the upcoming week. They finally pile into Kim's car as the sun dips low in the sky, making their way to the cliffs on the Rez for the bonfire. The festivities are evident from a few hundred yards away; a sizeable crowd has assembled around the growing pyre, the flames dancing high into the sky, and her head's swimming in the sea of familiar and unfamiliar faces. Heads raise as they approach the group on foot, the attention quickly becoming directed towards the newcomers.
"Lex! You came!" Seth calls excitedly, earning a solid slap on the shoulder from the taller woman beside him.
"Thanks, Seth, nice to see you too," Kim teases, making her way to stand beside Jared.
Embry quickly abandons his seat on the log to jog over to Lex, leaving his hotdog forgotten in the sand. "Hey, you're here," he says, giving her a quick hug. It's all too brief, a sudden flash of warmth that's ripped away, leaving her yearning for more.
He leads her closer to the fire, offering her a seat on one of the nearer logs. Lex ends up sandwiched between Embry and Kim, watching as the others squabble to arrange themselves comfortably. Lex yawns, feeling the tiredness spreading through her body like an insurmountable flood. The heat of the fire and the man beside her isn't helping matters, either.
"Don't start that," Embry murmurs, poking her side. "The best part's about to start."
"What's the best part?" she whispers, glancing across at him.
His face is smooth and unreadable, eyes set decisively forward as he watches the flames dance in the pit. "Billy's about to tell the stories...our history, how we came to be. He always starts with how the tribe began," he mutters, eyes flickering over to where Billy sat at the head of the circle.
Billy nods, solemn as always, as he clears his throat with a sharp cough. The circle instantly falls silent, heads swivelling to face the Chief. The men seemed to sit up straighter, their expressions more stoic, as if something deeply serious was about to take place. Lex's eyes drift around the circle, taking stock of each individual before her. Her eyes come to rest on Emily and the hefty spiral-bound book that rests on her knees, methodically decorated with tabs and bookmarks of all colour and size.
"Emily helps record the histories," Embry whispers, following her gaze.
Lex nods, feeling as if her voice would only serve as a distraction from the charged atmosphere. The fire crackles, loud in the silence, and with the resulting bloom of sparks, Billy begins the story.
"The Quileutes have been a small people from the beginning, limited in number but unrestrained in both their spirit and grit. We are a small people still, but we have never disappeared. We owe this to the protection we have been granted by the spirits, who look over us each and every day.
"In the beginning, the spirits of the tribe lived and hunted in the lands of A-Ka-Lat, free of their physical forms. It was only when K'wati, the benevolent transformer, arrived, that we came into corporeality. He descended upon the rock, selecting the strongest wolves to transform into man. It was here, on First Beach, that our first transformation took place, marking the first of many spiritual transmutations we have endured.
"K'wati has protected us from monsters and tragedies; he has strengthened us against all adversaries. When our closest relatives, the Chimakum peoples, were washed away by flood, we were left untouched. When territorial battles waged with the neighbouring tribes, the spirit of K'wati remained to protect our peoples. Today, we remain in our traditional lands, strengthened by the powers that transformed kwoli into man.
"Though K'wati was responsible for the first transformation of wolf into human, he did not seek to return human to beast. It was only through the determination of our first spirit warriors, who laboured countless days and nights to reconnect with warrior spirits of the past, that they were able to shift back into their previous forms. Transforming from man to wolf required monumental dedication and exertion that meant only the strongest of the tribe were capable. In the years that passed, the abilities of the descendants intensified, making the first transformation easier than ever before.
"The spirit warriors that protect our tribe have risen again and again to protect our peoples from devastation. In doing so, they make the ultimate sacrifice in abandoning their humanity and independence. We owe our successes and our survival to the spirits that live in this land, and it is only through their benevolence that we are granted another day on this earth."
A low murmur ran around the fire, a quiet whisper of appreciation and assent. Billy continued his tales, undeterred by the interruption.
"The spirit warriors, taking on the responsibility of guarding the people of our tribe, have faced many monsters. They have repelled Dask'iya and Tatákwayal, even guarding the peoples against the power of T'ist'ilal. The most dangerous creature of all, though, who has threatened the tribe since the beginning, is our fellow man. We are no stranger to combat and warfare, though it was not until 1889 that the lives of our spirit warriors were changed extraordinarily. In one horrific night, all homes on our land were torched by a settler encroaching on our territories. The fire devastated our peoples; we were left without homes, treasures and equipment that we had valued so dearly. The spirit warriors were incensed at the attack, having failed to protect the tribe against the greatest tragedy of all. It was then that K'wati descended again, threading strings between the warriors and the tribespeople. The spirit warriors became irrevocably linked to other beings within the tribe. It strengthened them, giving the warriors the ultimate incentive to protect the land with their lives. The strings have continued to be tied in the years past, with generations of our peoples being blessed with the utmost level of protection.
"And so K'wati has blessed the Quileute tribe, providing our warriors with the fortitude and tenacity that has ensured the safety of our peoples. We thank the spirits who have protected our tribe and our lands. Our sacrifices continue each and every day we walk this earth; it is the duty of each and every Quileute to carry the burden of the spirits as we forge our own path forwards. And so we are joined here, before the fire, to honour and thank the ones that have gone before us."
Embry reaches his hand to grasp Lex's, and as she casts her eyes around the fire she notices hands linking one by one. She extends her other hand towards Leah, who clasps it without hesitation.
Billy leads them in giving thanks. "K'wati, and the spirits who have forged our ancestors, we thank you. Your sacrifices are made our sacrifices."
The final sentence is repeated around the fire, muttered words that Lex attempts to reproduce in a bid to seem respectful. She's a little unsure, but Embry's slight nod of approval makes the effort worth it. As quickly as it came, the intense mood dissolves, melting away like the remnants of the old wood in the fire. Conversations resume, low and murmuring, slowly building into a comforting din.
Embry wraps his arm around her shoulder, drawing Lex close to murmur in her ear. "What did you think?" he breathes, his voice nearly inaudible over the chatter surrounding them.
She shivers, not at the cool night air but at the mere sensation of having him so close to her. It's eerily reminiscent of her dream earlier in the week, a thought that has her cheeks flushing even pinker.
"It was great, Em. There's so much I don't know about your histories. I'm dying to pick Emily's brain sometime," she says, glancing over to where the young woman was seated previously.
Emily's since relocated herself to Sam's lap, cuddling in close to his body as they talk and laugh. It's like she's intruding on something private; they interact like they're the only ones in the universe, like nothing else matters, and Lex feels a little prick that might just be jealousy. It reminds her of the day she first met Kim and Jared and Embry, how Kim and Jared were gazing at each other in that super loved-up way that's so unfamiliar to her. She averts her eyes, both out of politeness and discomfort, turning her gaze instead to the football skirmish breaking out between some of the younger boys. Eventually, she looks up, expecting Embry to be looking wistfully at the game, but he's already looking at her.
"You can go, if you want," she says, feeling that familiar barb of nervousness.
"Huh?" Embry mumbles, shaking his head slightly.
She tips her head towards the beach. "The game. I don't mind if you want to go."
He shakes his head, squeezing her a little tighter. "Honestly, I didn't even notice. I'm good here," he says, resting his chin on her head.
His embrace is comforting and assuring, like coming home after a long day to a warm bath. He may intimidate her to no end, but there's still something so magnetic about his presence that both frays and soothes her nerves. And as she looks out across the fire, at the clusters of people talking and laughing and playing, she finally starts to let herself believe that maybe this might just be where she belongs. That between her and Embry there could be something, something real.
If only she really, truly could believe it.
A/N: I have chosen to deviate from Stephanie Meyer's version of the Quileute legends in deference to the genuine stories of the tribe. Due to limitations in posting links, I have provided some links in my profile to the sources I referred to in constructing a dramatic retelling of the tribe's creation (the story of K'wati transforming wolf into man); please be aware that the stories reflected in this work are inspired by the genuine legends, but are still a work of fiction. The genuine Quileute legends make no reference to ongoing transformations (i.e. man back into wolf) nor anything resembling imprinting. There are references to monsters in Quileute legends, though these monsters do not resemble the Cold Ones that Stephanie Meyer created. As such, I chose to make no reference to the Cold Ones in my retelling of the myths, instead choosing to draw upon the real burning of the tribe's homes in 1889 as an impetus for imprinting.
Again, I would like to emphasise that Stephanie Meyer's bastardisation of the Quileute legends is an extremely disrespectful and, quite frankly, racist aspect of the canon. I hope that by drawing attention to elements of the real legends I can pay respect to the tribe who did not wish, nor consent, to be a part of the franchise. The provided sources on my profile are an excellent starting point to learning more about the tribe's history and fascinating legends that shape their culture.