Yay I managed to finish it up so I could post it! To be honest, I'm just messing around a bit with this story, but I hope you find it entertaining.

Chapter 5: Birthday part II

xxx

Sasuke didn't enjoy parties. No, that came out wrong. He didn't know he hated parties with such fierce passion until about an hour ago, when dinner had been eaten and Kushina had left them alone. A few people sat by the kitchen table, a few were on the couch and the rest were on the floor. Sasuke had chosen to stand, leaning against the partly open living room window in a corner and trying his best to ignore the conversations going on around him. He was surprised the small house had space enough for all of them. Somehow, it appeared that all of the "rookie nine" were there, plus Gai's team and Sai. He'd gotten a headache trying to keep up with all the changes in personalities.

It didn't help that the only thing they seemed to talk about was gossip and stupid things that had happened, telling Naruto anything they could think of. At least they'd given up on trying to make Sasuke join in, but he didn't like the uncomfortable look on the dobe's face. Though who could blame him, when he sat with Neji's arm casually slung over his shoulders, and Hinata all but clinging to him on the other side.

Naruto hadn't outright told him, but even Sasuke had snapped up on the fact that he'd rejected the Hyuuga heiress back home. And now the Hinata here was demanding answers to a lot of personal questions regarding the whole thing.

"Come on, Naruto" Sakura begged, "Why can't you just tell us what's going on in your world?"

"Yeah!" Kiba agreed, "Like, I bet Akamaru is a cute kitty over there!"

Neji scoffed, and was that his hand casually wandering across Naruto's shoulder over to Hinata's, bold fingers caressing the nape of her neck? It must have been, because Hinata grabbed his wrist and all but broke it in half, making him scoot as far away as possible from her and Naruto.

Sasuke was itching to grab Naruto and get the hell out of there, especially when a drunk Shikamaru started giggling uncontrollably. He would have, too, if Naruto hadn't made it very clear to him beforehand that it wouldn't be appreciated. These nice people had taken the effort to prepare a party for him, and they needed to stay on their good side if they wanted any help to get home, blah blah blah. If Naruto hadn't looked so uncomfortable, Sasuke might have suspected he'd said all that simply because he wanted to annoy him.

"If we're opposites, would that make me bad at drawing?" Sai mumbled to himself.

"Sai, you're not very good at drawing to begin with" Ino giggled, apparently less shy now that she'd gotten some alcohol into her system.

Another thing Sasuke couldn't understand. Getting drunk was basically like begging for trouble, and these weren't medical ninjas like Tsunade, who could probably get rid of it all in an instant should they get attacked.

Though, when he'd pointed it out, they'd laughed at him and wondered who the hell would want to attack Konoha.

"I think we shouldn't pressure him if he doesn't want to talk" Chouji pointed out, and Sasuke was surprised to admit that so far, Chouji was the person in here that he disliked the least. Out of the alter egos, that is.

Naruto had stayed silent during the whole exchange, which in itself was a little strange. It felt weird to be in a room full of people and not hear his voice constantly growing louder.

"Oh, don't be such a spoilsport, Chouji! I think we're all dying to know! Who's the strongest, who's the prettiest?"

"And who's dating me?!" Hinata interrupted Tenten with, boring her eyes into Naruto's side.

It wasn't the first time that evening that Naruto had glanced at Sasuke, but it was the first time he felt his eye twitch. If Naruto thought Sasuke would comment on this...

"No one is fucking dating you" he, to his horror, heard himself say.

"I bet Sasuke's still the prettiest" Lee piped up, choosing the worst possible timing as everyone had gone dead silent, staring at the Uchiha.

Before he'd had time to react, Naruto shot out of his seat, clapping his hands together hard.

"Okay, how about we do something else? Like, uh, an arm wrestling competition! We'll see if any of you can beat me!"

Sasuke snapped his mouth shut again. He watched Naruto urge the others' attention to himself instead of Sasuke, amused by the lengths he'd go to in order to make sure Sasuke was left alone. It happened a lot. In the end, Lee beat everyone, which wasn't weird considering chakra use wasn't allowed and his entire ninja career depended on him being strong without it. Naruto had taken off his shirt, wiping some sweat off his brow, muscles flexing as he demanded best out of three from Lee. It was surprising how few of the occupants in the room paid attention to the actual arm wrestling. Sure, he knew Naruto had a bunch of fans at home, but that was mainly because of his heroic actions, wasn't it?

"Wow, your Menma is ripped."

Sakura had sidled up to him, somewhere between the fourth and fifth rounds.

"It's Naruto."

"Yes yes, I know. You should probably keep an eye on Hinata, she might jump him. Though I can't blame her, he's definitely eye candy."

"Did you start talking to me for a reason?"

He gave her a look, clearly annoyed, and her smile was a little smug.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend you and your boyfriend."

"You are all delusional" he muttered. "Are relationships the only thing you care about?"

She frowned at him, tilting her head as if trying to figure out the reason for his sour attitude.

"No need to be so uptight about it" she said, leaning back against the window with a small sigh. "I know what it's like to face prejudice. I like to think it's worth it in the end."

What the hell was she talking about? Sasuke had no idea, and he wasn't interested in figuring out. Fine, he'd promised he wouldn't drag Naruto away from the party, or act rude (which he might have already failed at but he didn't care), but no one could blame him for wanting a bit of fresh air. Turning around he pushed the window open the whole way and promptly jumped out, ignoring Sakura asking where he was going.

It's not like he knew anyway.

He just really, really felt like he was going to crawl out of his skin soon if he didn't get out of there. If this was a dream it sure was a creepy one. He glanced back into the room, taking one look at Hinata practically drooling, and jumped up onto the roof. The whole situation was too surreal for him. One day he was contemplating staying in Konoha to give his support to Naruto, and the next he was thrown into this messed up world where everyone in their age group was a total maniac and his parents were loyal to Konoha, and Itachi… was alive.

"Teme, don't just run off like that." Naruto sat down next to him about a minute later, still shirtless, legs slightly bent at the knees and leaning to the sides as he supported himself with his hands behind him. "Sakura-chan got worried."

"She's crazy. They're all crazy. I think I might be getting crazy, too."

Naruto stared at him for a second, then leaned his head back to gaze at the stars instead.

"Yeah, I know the feeling. This place takes a while to get used to."

"How long did you stay last time?"

"Hmm, a few days. It'll be longer this time, huh?"

"Great," Sasuke sighed, "trapped in this place with everyone obsessing over dating. No normal person talks that much about it."

"No?" Naruto gave him an amused look. "You mean you wouldn't talk about it, but normal people probably would."

"You don't."

"No, but I'm not exactly normal, either. And you seem to forget I was all about getting a date with Sakura-chan when we were younger."

Sasuke had honestly forgotten about that.

"And if you had been paying attention back home, you would have noticed that it's a pretty common thing to talk about. I mean, just last week Shikamaru was asked out by that girl in the decoding department, and when he turned her down everyone kept bugging him until he admitted he might have a thing for Temari."

Eyes narrowing, Sasuke pulled the leg that wasn't next to Naruto close to his chest, leaning his chin on it.

"I'd rather you hadn't told me."

Naruto was grinning now, giving him a poke on his arm.

"Why, jealous because people are too scared to ask you out?"

"No, I'm not an idiot compared to the people here. There are way more important things to focus on."

The grin on Naruto's face faded into a more serious look as they stared at each other.

"You think liking someone makes you an idiot?" When he didn't answer, Naruto's gaze hardened. "I told you things are different here. Maybe you and I can't afford to slack off, but you can't look down on the others for wanting to be happy. No one wants to be alone, Sasuke, not even ninjas."

Sasuke averted his eyes, fingertips digging into the cool roof tiles. Naruto might not have said it, but he could hear the implied 'not even you' over the silence.

"Ugh, why am I even trying to explain this" Naruto muttered, scratching his head. He sighed, but didn't try to say anything else. Instead, they spent a few minutes simply sitting there, and Sasuke could feel himself calm down a bit. When Naruto's head fell onto his shoulder, his only reaction was a raised eyebrow.

"Is it bad that I don't want to go back?"

"You're the one who said it was the polite thing to do to come here."

Naruto grimaced at him, then turned his face to groan into his shirt.

"I'd rather just sit here with you. Well it would be better if we were sitting at home."

"You do realize there's a festival for you at home, right?"

"That's not for me" Naruto dismissed it with, "It's for the end of the war and stuff."

"It's still on your birthday."

"Yeah… Do you think the old hag thinks I escaped so I wouldn't have to do that speech?"

"Even you aren't that stupid."

Naruto tilted his head to glare up at him.

"Gee, thanks Sasuke. I feel so much better now."

Sasuke shrugged, Naruto's head bobbing with the movement.

"Aah, and I was gonna get you drunk and everything, all my plans got totally ruined."

He grinned when Sasuke sent him a scathing look.

"Plus, I would have been able to buy those porn mags without having to use a disguise."

His grin threatened to split his face in half when Sasuke paled. He'd never get over the time he'd found one on the floor in Naruto's bedroom while waiting for the moron to get dressed. Funny how his memory liked to gloss over the fact that Naruto was a pervert.

"You are such a loser" he said, Naruto hitting him for the comment.

"Hey! You're talking to the student of the legendary Ero-sennin! I need to keep up the tradition. Besides, I mostly just use them for reference when I practice my techniques."

Sasuke chose to ignore the 'mostly' in that sentence. It was bad enough he had those perverted techniques, and even worse that he tended to use them every chance he got. He'd even asked if he wanted to do a combo with him, and Sasuke had answered by not talking to him for two days. At least he never bothered to use them while they were sparring, knowing how much Sasuke disliked it. Both the female and male version, despite Sai dropping hints that they both preferred the male one.

He'd even shamelessly used it during the finals of the chuunin exam. He was one hundred percent sure that Naruto had made a bet with Konohamaru over it, because the dobe had been way too smug over that particular victory against an unsuspecting genin from Suna.

"Are you coming with me?" Naruto asked, the sound muffled because he'd buried his face in the crook of Sasuke's neck now.

Normally Sasuke would have been bothered by the body contact, but the chuunin exam had been held in Kumogakure, the second part taking place down in some tunnels and caves underneath a mountain. Turns out one of the strongest ninja in existence was afraid of the compact darkness, claiming every little sound that wasn't necessarily an enemy team might be a ghost. He'd been clinging to Sasuke a lot, and perhaps he got used to it.

"No."

"But Sasukeee why not?!"

"Don't hug me."

It wasn't technically a hug, but Naruto's hands held on to Sasuke's shirt and while he might have tolerated it in those caves, this wasn't the same.

"But I'm cold."

"So go inside again."

To Sasuke, Naruto didn't feel the least bit cold, and he used his shoulder to try and shrug him off. Naruto fought him for a few seconds, but when the presence of another ninja approached he stopped, sitting up straight again.

"Naruto, Sasuke" Minato greeted them with as he landed in front of them, giving them a nice smile. "Happy birthday."

"Oh, uh, thanks" Naruto said, while Sasuke gave a nod.

"It's very unexpected, but it's nice to meet you again. And to meet you too, of course, Sasuke. We never got the chance to properly thank you for helping Menma last time."

"Ah, well, that was…" Naruto trailed off, rubbing the back of his neck. "No need to thank me."

Minato beamed at him, then took a step back.

"Well, I didn't mean to interrupt. I hope you're enjoying the party, Naruto. I was thinking we can talk a bit tomorrow, I'd like to see you use the Hiraishin."

"Of course!"

As Minato disappeared as quickly as he came, Sasuke noticed Naruto staring after him.

"I'll be helping out at the police headquarters tomorrow" he informed, to let Naruto know he most likely couldn't make it to meet Minato.

"Really? Are you gonna be okay?"

"You can stop asking me that."

"I dunno, just now you said you were going crazy…" Naruto's face was scrunched up in suspicion. "What if you have a brain fart and release all the prisoners?!"

He smacked the back of Naruto's head, watching in satisfaction as he flew forwards, rolling in mid-air and landing feet first on the railing below.

"Teme!" He was going to say more, it seemed, but the front door flew open and an evidently drunk Hinata stalked over to him.

"Why are you shirtless?!"

"Uh, umm, I-"

"Aah, Hinata calm down, I've got his shirt right here."

Sasuke wasn't sure if he should be amused or downright horrified as Hinata ripped the shirt out of Sakura's hands and lunged for Naruto. He supposed she wanted to put it on, but Naruto was jumping around her like she was trying to kill him.

"Hinata, I can put it on myself!"

The problem was solved by Sakura promptly whacking Hinata over her neck, rendering her unconscious.

"Don't worry, I'll get her home safely."

"Uuh, Sakura-chan, I'm not sure I like the look in your eyes…"

Sasuke walked over to the edge of the roof, peering down at the other ninja as they started milling out of the house.

"I think everyone is ready to go home" Chouji announced, dragging a snoring Shikamaru by his chuunin vest.

He had to admit it was almost impressive. It had barely been two hours or so since dinner finished, and they were already this drunk. He stayed where he was, watching them all drop off, Sai hugging Naruto a little too long to be decent. Naruto stared after them, then raised his eyes to frown at Sasuke.

"Are you staying over?" he asked, and Sasuke shrugged. "Then you're staying" the dobe concluded for him, flinging his shirt across one shoulder and entering the house again.

With a small sigh he followed after, figuring he'd allow Naruto to order him around just this once.

Sooo who thinks they're gonna have some smoking hot sex now that they're finally alone? Sorry to disappoint you though, it's gonna take a while for that to happen... But how exciting won't it be to see Sasuke being part of the police force! I bet he looks hot in the uniform... I think they have a uniform. I guess I'll have to do more research.

First I thought I'd make Sasuke go genjutsu on everyone so they would shut up, but he was nice for once. Just terribly much out of his comfort zone.

And now I feel like I wanna write about what happened during their chuunin exam... haha well, as long as Sasuke doesn't mind body contact too much Naruto has a chance, right?

Also, I'm going to start posting this on ao3 as well. It will be interesting.