If Quil was to write the guide to handling questionable imprinting, Jacob would be the author of its ill-fated sequel: So Your Soulmate Has Dumped You. Jake doesn't say the words outright, but the message is crystal clear after his fifth Alpha order of the week.

Are you seriously forcing me to go to college? Embry whines, wincing under the weight of the edict.

I wouldn't have to order it if you actually went. What sort of friend would I be if I let you skip? Jake points out, undeterred by his complaints.

I don't think you went to school once in your senior year, Seth adds, playfully winking at Embry.

He could seriously kiss that kid right now.

See! Jake, give me a break. Don't make me go.

You're going, Em. Also, Seth, you better be going to school. The budget's tight enough as it is. We can't afford another bribe.

Seth sniffs. Mom could probably swing it. She knows everyone.

I think I have my first grey hair, Jake thinks, bending to peer at his paw. I blame it on you two.

Fine, fine, I'll go, Embry grumbles, dipping out of the pack mind after a hasty goodbye.

His relationship with phasing has grown a little frayed after the whole debacle. Sure, he's never been one of the more talented guys in the pack, but he hasn't had a single unintentional phase since his first year as a wolf. The last time was entirely different, too, the result of an extended argument with Paul over the last muffin.

He hadn't lost control since.

Looking back, he cringes at all of the little tells that pointed to his increasingly tenuous grip on his humanity, like the red mist that had consumed him when Lex called him crying from the gas station months before. Worse was the way he'd destroyed that chair at the police station in seconds, or the way he can barely recall a single conscious thought from the day it all went wrong. He was prepared for the imprint to rob him of his agency, but he hadn't expected the sudden intensification of his emotions. A single look had reverted him to the angsty, uncontrolled boy that had been subdued years prior, suppressed by heroic notions of tribal duty and self-sacrifice. With Lex, he feels everything - the passion, the joy, the terror. He was perfectly content to float through life unthinking and uncaring, simply dedicating his life to pack service without a second thought. She's changed all of that, opening his eyes up to an unfamiliar world of choice, and it's terrifying.

In a way, being a mindless sentry was preferable.

Embry floats through the week according to Jake's orders - actually attending college (his professors barely recognise him), working extra shifts for his mom, and running extended patrols. The days pass by similarly, unceremonious and increasingly boring. On the bright side, when Lex inevitably decides to never speak to him again, at least he'll have properly caught up on all of his overdue assignments. His latest English Fundamentals assignment is returned on Thursday, adorned with a large B+ in thick red ink-strokes. Quil cranes his neck to see the mark, frowning at his own C-.

"Dude, seriously? Where can I find a girl to tutor me?" he groans, immediately wincing at his words.

Embry waves off his hurried apologies with a shrug. "It's fine. You're right, anyway. It's all her."

Everything seems to be coming back to her, as if that's any surprise. Hell, he'd cried a little in his kitchen this morning when the creamer had lightened his coffee to the exact shade of her eyes. He's caught little flashes of her here and there around campus, but nothing substantial, nothing to wet his appetite and calm the beast. The worst part by far was sensing her nearby, knowing that holding her was simply a matter of moving a couple of yards (and winning her over, but it hurts to think about that).

Quil nudges him with a pencil, eventually poking him with the sharpened tip. "Maybe, like, write her something nice. Kim's a real sucker for that, apparently."

For once, it's not a bad idea. Quil's like one of those typewriter monkeys, the ones that'll eventually strike gold if they bang on the keys for long enough. Embry flips through his notebook, sorting through scrunched paper until he finally finds his notes from months back. Every word is pencilled in an extra-careful hand, desperate to impress her watchful eye. That part's irrelevant, though; the notes aren't what he's after. The poetry, on the other hand? That's sure to catch her attention. Ten minutes of painstaking chicken-scratch later, he's finally got a passable love note that just might work.

If only she'll read it.

By the following Tuesday, Kim has a formidable stash of artefacts, ranging from scribbled song lyrics to CVS-printed photos. Passing them on to Lex is a lost cause - Kim had tried, but she'd only received a swift shake of the head in reply. Kim opts to cram them in her car's glove box instead, hoping that Lex'll eventually come around. She has to, right? Kim had befriended Lex out of a sense of obligation, dutifully following the pattern that the other women had started. Sure, there was nothing wrong with befriending Rachel or Emily - they were perfectly fine people, really - but the friendships were thrust upon her, a direction issued by a greater authority. None of it was her decision. Being nice to Lex started out similarly, fulfilling some pack duty that she'd taken on after becoming Jared's girlfriend. All they expected of her was a casual prod towards Embry, maybe a coffee date or two, just to get her comfortable with the pack. She'd done that for Rachel, after Paul had imprinted on the beach, and she'd done her darndest to be kind to Renesmee, even if that kid made her skin prickle. Befriend, push towards imprint-er, fade to black. That's how it went.

Usually.

Kim wasn't quite sure what was different about Lex - her enduring cynicism, or maybe her peculiar loyalty - but there was something that made her want to stick around. Everything in Kim's life had been chosen for her since birth, decided by some omnipotent other without any real consideration of her feelings. Even Jared, who would normally be the exception to the rule, was only concerned because the spirits compelled him to be. Sometimes Kim wishes she'd stopped to question the imprint sooner, before their relationship had become as enduring as the legends. It doesn't matter now, though, not when everything is the Kim-and-Jared show, one impenetrable unit against the world. It's too late for her.

It's not too late for Lex.

Kim decides that what she likes most about Lex is her resolve - hell, Embry's been chasing her for a week, virtually on his knees begging for a second chance, and still, she holds firm to her beliefs. If all else fails, Kim's found the kind of person she wishes she could be, and surely that counts for something. At the very least, Lex needs a break from the apologies, and so she texts Jared something simple - get him to back off, please - before slipping her phone into the bottom of her bag. She's about to meet Lex for the first time in a few days - apparently, space from Em comes with space from everyone - and Kim doesn't need any extra distractions. Kim can deal with disappointment from the pack, from her family, but there's a tiny part of her that desperately wants Lex's friendship above all else.

She wants Lex to choose her.

Kim slips into the cafeteria from the back door, her eyes skimming over the crowd until she spots the familiar messy knot of hair on a figure bent over the table. Lex's furiously scribbling into a notebook, her mouth pursed in focus. Kim almost feels bad for interrupting.

"What'cha working on?"

Lex jumps, her pen ripping through the top sheet of paper. "Fuck," she hisses, frowning at the mark.

"Sorry, Lex. I thought you would have heard me coming."

She sighs, crumpling the paper into a tight ball. "I've been a little distracted lately. Can you help me finish this?"

Kim's eyebrows shoot up. "You...want help? Honestly, I can't believe you even replied to my messages."

Lex's lips quirk up into a ghost of a smile. "Desperate times, huh?"

Kim nods, willing her to go on. She's a little scared that any wrong word will ruin the moment, chasing away whatever mood Lex is in.

After a moment, Lex smooths out the crumpled sheets surrounding her notebook. They're in various states of completion - all letters to Embry, all scribbled over and scratched out.

I hate that I'm scared of you.

I hate that you remind me of him.

I hate that you lied to me.

Sometimes, I hate you too.

"I don't know how to get past this," she mumbles, clearing her throat when her voice shakes.

"Can I make a suggestion?" Kim says hesitantly, turning the idea over in her mind.

When Lex nods, Kim decides to risk it.

"Come with me to see Emily. I think she'll be able to help you."

The Uley household's only a short drive away, a quiet journey punctuated only by the fat raindrops that splatter against the car windows. Even after she welcomes them inside, Emily doesn't talk too much, not until the first cup of tea is placed on the laminate counter. She'd looked mildly surprised at the sight of the two women on her doorstep, but she doesn't delve into the topic until they're all seated around the breakfast bar.

"Can I ask what inspired the visit?" Emily says, glancing between her visitors.

Lex only looks towards Kim.

"It's the phasing thing," Kim says, taking a sip of her overly-sweetened tea.

"Phasing," Emily repeats, nodding. "It's okay to be upset. It would be strange if you weren't."

They're both looking at Lex, clearly waiting for something, and the words come out strangled when she speaks. "I don't know how not to be scared of him."

Emily nods again, resting her cup on the saucer. "Has anyone told you the story of how this happened?" she asks, gesturing vaguely towards her face.

Lex shakes her head. She's gotten little bits from Embry and Kim, curt warnings about staying out of the woods, but no real story. She wasn't even aware there was a story.

"When Sam first imprinted on me, he was still with Leah. He broke up with her that night, but we didn't know what happened in the weeks before when he'd disappeared. We thought he had a mental break, or maybe he got into drugs. We didn't know what was about to happen to all of us. I promised Leah he would come back to her - he had to, he always did.

"After a few days, I went back home - I lived out on the Makah Rez back then. Sam showed up at my door the next morning, begging and pleading for a chance. He said something about how he was in love with me, that we were meant to be, but I couldn't listen. Leah was like my sister - as kids, we passed for twins, for heaven's sake - and I couldn't do that to her. He wouldn't leave, so I did, and I walked out onto one of the trailheads near my home. He let me go, and all I could think about when I walked away was how upset the visit was going to make Leah. I didn't know how much worse it was going to get.

Emily dabs a tissue at her eyes, looking away for a moment. "Sorry. It still hurts to think about."

"You don't have to tell me, Emily," Lex says, uncomfortably smoothing the creases on her shirt.

Emily shakes her head. "I want you to hear how this ends."

"Okay."

"I was out on the trailhead alone for a little while, just pacing and thinking. Here was a guy claiming to care about me, to be in love with me, and who could pass that up? But he was Sam, and Sam was Leah's, and we couldn't do that. We couldn't. I walked a little more, and before I had time to even realise I had startled a bear, it was too late. By the time Sam heard me scream, it had already clawed my face and my chest. He phased as soon as he saw the bear, and I watched him fight it off. Lex, you have no idea-"

Emily cuts off, openly crying into the sleeves of her sweatshirt.

Kim reaches across to rub her back.

"He killed the bear and brought me to the hospital, thinking I was going to die. It took four transfusions, one surgery, and two weeks in-patient, but I survived. They couldn't fix my scars. Sam and Jared spent every day with me in the hospital. Leah didn't visit once."

Lex furiously swipes at her tears, but there's no real point. They're all crying, anyway.

"Sam saved my life, and he's made up for his mistake every day since. It took a long time for me to feel safe, knowing what he was - what he is - but we made it in the end. If I could go back and stop him from hurting Leah, I would, but I can't. He saved my life, and he chose me, and we have to move past that. Maybe she'll understand one day."

"I...I don't know what to say. I didn't realise he was there when you got hurt," Lex murmurs, rubbing the back of her neck. "Did you ever wonder if he'd hurt you like he hurt the bear?"

Emily shakes her head vigorously. "Sam might be strong, but he's not brutal. He did what he had to. Embry...he's less experienced. He doesn't have that Alpha strength that Sam does. He wasn't trying to scare you."

Kim curls her arm around Lex's shoulders. "Sam's putting him through the ropes again before he's allowed near you. Jared says it's going well."

Emily hums in agreement. "They're working on his control. Time apart is good for you, though. Kim was saying you weren't sure about Em?"

Lex shoots her a wounded look, but Kim only shrugs. "Uh, yeah, I don't know. It's kind of embarrassing to say, but Embry's my first...everything."

"Join the club, sister," Kim says, raising her palm for a high-five, but Lex simply stares until she drops her hand.

"I think what Kim meant to say," Emily starts, sending her a pointed glance, "is that we all start somewhere. Embry isn't expecting commitment and intimacy and a wedding all at once. You can be whatever you want to be."

Lex flushes at the change in direction, but says nothing, simply nodding.

Emily stands, smoothing her apron. "How about some more tea?"

"Fuck, Quil, I thought you knew how to change the timing belt," Embry huffs, throwing his spanner down in frustration. The grease splatters halfway up his jeans, but he doesn't care.

Quil sheepishly scratches his head, looking more like a kid than he has in weeks. "Bit of wishful thinking?"

He dodges the bolt aimed in his direction by sheer millimetres.

"I can't believe I have to read a freaking manual," Embry complains through gritted teeth, dragging his tattered textbook from his rucksack.

He'd rather die before doing things by the book, but Lex's car isn't getting any better -

And that's when he sees it. A tiny scrap of lined notebook paper, fluttering from between the stained pages of Cruser's Exhaustive Guide to Vehicle Maintenance.

Em -

These are the official rules of engagement. Take it or leave it.

No touching, at least until I know you're not going to skin me. Kind of negotiable, I guess.

No dogs in the house. Non-negotiable.

Talk to Leah. Tell her you're okay.

-L

"Ooh, are you gonna share?" Quil crows, reaching out to try and snatch the paper.

Embry tucks it safely into his pocket, gesturing rudely at Quil. "Piss off. You'll see it later, anyway."

Quil chortles. "Fair point."

Embry pulls out his phone, sending Leah a short text. Ten minutes later, there's no reply, and so he tries again.

Still, nothing.

That's how he ends up rapping on the Clearwater's door at four in the afternoon, intent on ironing out whatever shit she's started with his imprint. He's gotten part of the story from the pack mind, but he's sure there's more to the case. There always is with Leah.

Sue answers the door, donning a flour-marked apron. "Embry? Seth's out, if you're looking for him. He should be back this evening."

"I'm actually looking for Leah. Is she in?" he asks, cocking his head.

Her eyebrows crinkle in confusion, but still she opens the door wider. "She's upstairs," Sue offers, stepping out of the way.

He scales the stairs with zero hesitation, knocking on her door as if he's visited a billion times. He has, in a way, knowing the interior of the Clearwater house like the back of his hand, all thanks to the pack mind. Leah takes a long while to respond to the rapping, but the door eventually creaks open, revealing a face leaden with sleep.

"Seriously, Call? Someone better be dying," she grumbles, dragging her hand across her eyes.

He barks out a sudden laugh. "Can you tell me why Lex is so concerned with your opinion of me?"

She scoffs, rolling her eyes. "I just pointed out how braindead you've been acting since you imprinted. But hey, it's not like she knows you. She probably thinks that's normal for you."

"First of all, I'm not braindead." He holds his finger up, silencing her attempt at a rebuttal. "I like spending time with her. I like thinking about her. Probably would have done that without an imprint, too."

"You'll never know," she mutters, almost too low for him to hear.

"Huh?"

She presses her lips together tightly. "You'll never know if you would care without the imprint. You don't get that choice. I thought we were safe, three years with nothing new, but something just had to break that streak. You're stuck."

He exhales. "You're not mad at her. You're mad at the universe."

"Yeah, and?"

"The thought of trying to fix some argument was bugging me. For what it's worth, I'm not upset about the imprint. It's not the end, Lee. I'm still me, and you're still my sister."

"Pack sister," Leah grumbles, as if there's a difference.

"I'll even come to Paul's on Friday," he promises, inwardly delighting at the tiny smile that spreads across her face.

"Hm. Did Jake order that?"

"Not yet. Figured I may as well go before he makes me," Embry confesses, grinning. "I'll be there. Can you try not to torment Lex in the meantime?"

"Fine. Don't wake me up again."

"No promises," he teases, sing-songing his way down the staircase.

With Leah on his side, there's nothing standing in his way.

"What do you mean I can't see her?" Embry exclaims, throwing his hands up in the air.

Sam remains firm. "We've been over this. You're not seeing her until you're under control, and I'm not convinced you're ready."

"But-"

"Don't argue with me. Do you want a repeat of last time?"

Embry bows his head, chastised. The last thing he wants to do is hurt her, even if keeping his distance is killing him.

"Phase and run the southern boundary. When you're finished, we'll spar again."

Embry turns to head into the forest, only pausing when Sam calls out to him.

"I know this is hard for you, but it's for the best. You'll get there. I know you will."

He continues on his path without responding. Logically, he recognises that Sam's right, but that doesn't make the command sting any less. Maybe Jake might help him -

Doubtful. Do your time, get your shit sorted, Jared comments, briefly tearing his mind from his rounds.

What I would give for a moment of silence.

Tell me about it.

How do I know when I'm ready? I didn't know I was on the edge last time...what if it happens again? Embry wonders, toeing the boundary line.

It won't, Jared asserts. Once is a mistake. Twice is a choice, and you're better than that.

They run in silence, scenting the air for unfamiliar notes. Eventually, Embry reaches Jared's flank, and the two run in an easy formation until they reach the connecting boundary.

You know, thinking about what she needs helps keep me grounded. You know Quil's theories, about imprinting filling some kind of need she has? Jared thinks, bending his head low to survey for trails.

Bold to assume he ever stops talking about his theories.

True. Anyway, if I close my eyes and focus really hard, I can feel her mind out there. Use the link, feel that connection, and let it keep you human. You need something to tether you.

Embry sinks to his haunches, reluctantly closing his eyes. What am I meant to think about?

Jared mirrors his posture, eyelids fluttering closed. Focus on your breathing. Breathe in. Breathe out. Imagine reaching out to her, like you're stretching hard to grab her hand. Can you feel that tug?

Embry is silent, and so Jared continues on.

Imagine curling your hand on hers. You're holding on to her, and she's holding you to the world. Follow her. Where's she leading you?

I don't know. I feel…cold, Embry thinks, shaking his head. That's it? I was reaching, but I don't even know if I did it right.

It takes time. Practice, put some time into it. If I focus on Kim… Jared thinks, his thoughts trailing off into blankness, I can tell that she's a little nervous. Anxious about something.

That's freaky.

Tell me about it. Practice some more, do a little each day, and when you see her you'll be primed for whatever happens. You lost it once, but you'll get that connection back. The spirits chose you for a reason.

Jared, if accounting doesn't work out, you should think about being a spirit guide, Embry thinks, only half-joking.

Before Jared can reply, Sam phases in, instantaneously commanding.

Embry, have you finished your loop?

Coming now, Sam. Ready for my daily ass kicking.

A man to the slaughter. I'll pick up your corpse on my last round, Jared offers, his lip twitching.

Awesome. You'll get first dibs on the garage, Embry adds, his paws pounding on the beaten earth.

I'll even turn you into one of those lucky animal paws. I think that'd look good hanging from my rearview mirror.

Ugh, don't make me imagine that. I don't think you're allowed to desecrate bodies like that, anyway, Sam thinks, remembering Harry's funeral - thankfully, the last one they've had on the Rez.

Is there anything sacred left around here? Embry muses as he trots into the clearing.

Sam tips his head low in greeting. I'll try to leave your spirit intact.

So kind.

I know.

"Hey, you've reached Embry. Embry Call. I'm busy right now, so leave a message and I'll call you back."

"Or not."

"Shut up, Quil. Jesus. Yeah, I'll call you."

BEEP

"Hey, Em, it's me. Um, it's Lex, if you didn't get that. I just wanted to -"

"Hello?" His voice cuts the recording short, intercepting her moments before she could confess something foolish.

Of course, that comes with the complication of actually having to speak to him.

"Oh. Hi."

"Hi," he mumurs, seconds before the muffled yawn works its way down the phone line.

"Sorry, did I wake you? Did you have to...run?" she asks, stumbling over her words. Patrol. You meant to say patrol, she thinks, you know, those exhausting shifts he works as a freaking forest creature.

"Yeah," he yawns, letting out a little hum. "It's okay, though. I wanted to talk to you. What's up?"

It's odd, the way they can go from not speaking properly for over a week to picking up like nothing's happened. Whats up? Where can she even begin to answer that?

"I wanted to see how you were," she says slowly, tracing the pattern of the wallpaper with her eyes. "It's been awhile."

"Too long," he agrees.

The silence stretches between them, but it's not like the uncomfortable gaps that have punctuated recent days. It's comfortable, familiar, like a sudden swing back to their agreeable past, before time and circumstance separated them.

"Em? If...if things were different, if you weren't forced to stay, do you think you would still care?" she asks, half dreading his response.

She needs to hear the answer, but she doesn't want the truth - a painful catch-22.

There's a brief rustling on the other end of the line, the sound intermingled with his shallow breathing. "Sorry, my hand slipped. I'm not forced to do anything, Lex. I want to be with you."

"You know, I talked to Emily today. She told me about...what happened. Sam didn't get a choice."

"Actually, Sam made his choice. He chose Emily," Embry corrects, a little stiffly. Memories of Leah, wailing after her first phase, the day she'd learned everything, refuse to leave his mind.

"I thought he couldn't go back to Leah? Emily says that Sam loved her straight away," she says, her voice rising towards a question. It doesn't make sense - none of this mess does.

"He never tried, Lex. Could he? I don't know, but he never stopped to try, and that's where we're different. I don't have a Leah, and I've thought about this - thought about you - more than a normal person probably should admit."

She squeezes out a laugh. "You? Thinking? Shocker."

"Asshole. I mean it, though. I like you, I want to spend time with you, but that's because I want to. The imprint is just there as a reminder to keep you alive."

"God, Em, I didn't know you were that romantic," she comments wryly.

His face burns in the darkness of his bedroom. There's a billion romantic things he'd love to say to her, preferably with her encircled in his arms, just the two of them in their own universe. Of course, that would require backtracking, rewinding the days back to a time when she felt safe in his presence.

"Lex, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner, I'm sorry I put you in danger. I'm sorry you can't trust me. I thought you'd hate me if you knew, but I bet you hate me even more now," he says, rushing to get the words out before he loses his nerve.

Her breathing is the only noise travelling down the line for a painful few moments. "I'm not over it, but I get what you mean. Kim says I should read you this dumb thing I wrote."

"Do you want to tell me?" he asks hesitantly, feeling a touch apprehensive at her tone.

"I guess." She unfolds the paper carefully, smoothing the creases with her fingertips.

"Embry. I'm writing this because Kim keeps bugging me to talk about my feelings and the thought of laying it all out makes me want to implode. It's like I'm drowning under the weight of everything going on, and for awhile you were my life vest and that was nice. That thing with the guy at work happened, and you showed up, and you made me feel safe. When my dad came, you were there, and the Chief got him to leave and it was all going to be fine. And then you became a giant animal inside my house and I thought you were going to kill me and suddenly things weren't fine."

Lex pauses, taking a shaky breath. "This was a bad idea. I shouldn't read this-"

"Hey. I want to hear this. It's important to me, Lex. You're important to me."

"I don't want to hurt you," she sniffles, refolding the paper.

"I want you to be honest with me, even if it makes me feel like shit. If this is going to help you feel better, then do it. I mean it," he says, wishing he could be there to comfort her.

"Okay," she says, quietly. "I'm scared that you're going to turn out like my father. I'm scared that the imprint's going to control me. I'm scared that I'll never be normal, and even if you're absolutely not normal, you still deserve better."

"Fuck normal," he breathes, slumping back against his headboard. "Honestly, that's the least of my worries. Surviving isn't shameful. You did what you had to. You hear me?"

"Yeah. I guess."

"And for the record, I will never be him. I fucked up by shifting near you, I know that, but I swear to you I'd die before I ever put you in danger again." He swallows thickly, feeling the lump in his throat like a lead weight. "If you want to leave, go, and I won't follow you. I shouldn't have tried to stop you."

"I wanted you to," she blurts out, gripping the phone tighter. "I thought...I thought you'd be better without me. You left after I gave my statement, and then Leah came to talk to me, and all I could think was that I was making things worse for you."

"Worse for me? You're the best thing that's happened to me in a long time, Lex. Leah's hung up on her own shit with Sam, but I don't see imprinting the same way. We both need help, and we can be that for each other. If you want that," he adds, crossing his index and pointer fingers.

"You promise me that you're not required to say that?"

"I'll bring you the script when I see you next," he jokes, hoping to make her laugh.

It works.

"I'd like that," she exhales, sounding almost happy - a far cry from her recent state.

"So I have to ask, did the notes get you to call me?"

"What notes?" she asks, sounding genuinely clueless.

"Uh, all the stuff I gave Kim. Didn't she pass them on?"

Her silence is a dead giveaway.

"Okay, don't be mad at her - I said I didn't want to talk about it. I'll get her to cough them up tomorrow," she vows.

"Ah, you'd better. I think that's used up all my romantic energy for the year," he teases, grinning in the darkness of his room. "Although I do think I could manage taking a certain person to breakfast tomorrow."

"I think that certain person may like that."

"Excellent. Tell her I'll be there at nine."

"Duly noted."

A/N: Apologies for the delayed update - life has been particularly hard lately. Thanks for sticking with me - I appreciate it. Special kudos to those who take the time to review; reviews genuinely make me so happy and help me to continue working on these. Thanks to Rachel who reviewed as a guest - since I couldn't reply to you via PM I thought I would thank you here.