"I've missed you," she whispers, leaning in close to his warm embrace.
He curls his arm around her shoulders, pulling her in tighter until their bodies are pressed together. "I don't want you to leave again."
"I won't. I promise."
"Prove it. Stay tonight."
"Hmm, I think that can be arranged," she giggles, swinging one leg over his lap.
Embry swallows, trying to focus his attention on something more innocent. "I have an English assignment due Monday."
She curves her neck to nip at the soft flesh of his jaw, skimming her nose along the thick stubble. "Mhmm. Maybe if you help me, I'll help you," she breathes, resuming her trail of kisses.
Her mouth leaves little pin-pricks of fire in its wake, as if all the cells in his body are suddenly awakened after years of slumber. She's pleasure and pain all in one, alluring and yet so off-limits -
"Em, are you going to kiss me, or do I have to make the first move?" she hums, briefly pausing her ministrations to gaze up at him through her thick lashes.
Everything within him is screaming touch her, and between the erratic pounding of his heart and the uncomfortable tightness in his jeans, he can come up with zero reasons to deny her. Embry turns his head to face hers, lifting his broad fingers to tangle in the curls at the base of her neck. Her mouth is mere inches from his, and if the tantalising scent of honeysuckle and charcoal isn't tempting enough -
Honeysuckle and charcoal.
Charcoal.
Embry snaps bolt upright in his bed, the sheets pooling at his waist. A quick sniff confirms his expectations - yes, his kitchen is on fire, and yes, that was definitely a dream - as his brain reorients itself back in reality. It doesn't make any sense; he could practically feel her touch, for Christ's sake, and yet, there he is, alone in his double bed. He sighs as he twists the sheet around his waist as a makeshift covering, hurrying down the hallway to try and determine who's actually burning the house down.
"Fuck," a low voice hisses, barely audible over the ear-piercing shriek of the fire alarm.
Embry reaches up and flicks the battery out of the contraption in one easy swing. "Okay, who's destroying the house this time?" he yawns, rounding the corner.
He has to rub his eyes a few times before he begins to believe what he's seeing.
Quil's dousing a burnt waffle in the sink, clad only in a hauntingly short pair of plaid pyjama shorts. That part of the picture makes sense, at least. Female company definitely doesn't add up, though, he thinks, squinting through the haze of smoke at the figure perched on the counter. Her face is turned towards Quil, giving Embry a fleeting chance to skim his eyes over her figure. She's wearing only an oversized hockey jersey, stretching her bare exposed legs out on the counter he'd painstakingly cleaned the day before.
His eyes freeze on her ankle.
It's the glimmering silver chain that gives her away.
"Leah?"
Her head whips around suddenly as if spooked by the additional voice. "Jesus, Embry, I didn't hear you coming," she mutters, her eyes darting between the two men. Her cheeks are flushed a deep red, a hue that's almost as dark as the flesh of her chin.
"I'm losing my mind," Embry mutters, squeezing around her to grab his favourite coffee mug. "I thought for a moment the two of you were hooking up."
"Ugh, no-"
"Hell yeah!"
The ensuing silence makes his skin crawl. He allows himself one quick glance up from the cutlery drawer, but it's a moment too late - Leah's already slid off the counter, headed towards the back door without a second's hesitation.
"Lee, don't -"
The screen door clatters shut before Quil can finish his sentence. In seconds, his jersey's been cast aside on the dewy grass, abandoned in favour of a more rugged form. Quil runs his hand across his jaw, pausing for just a moment on his mouth.
"Call, that timing was criminal."
"Hey, I'm not the one that started a house fire. I was enjoying a perfectly good dream," he says, grinning at Quil's sour expression. "Seriously, man, what's going on there?"
Quil tears his eyes away from the treeline, turning back to the soggy remnants of breakfast in the sink. "No idea. I'll definitely hear about it later though."
"Not her leaving, dumbass. Why was she here? How long have you two been hiding that?" Embry asks, his eyebrows furrowed in thought. "She's been pretty pissy lately, but I didn't realise that had something to do with you."
"First of all, I'm an absolute delight," Quil insists, flicking a piece of waffle at Embry. It hits the tiles with a moist squelch that makes his stomach turn. "Second, I don't know. We aren't sleeping together, if that's what you were wondering. We just had patrol together."
"And she was wearing your shirt because…?"
Quil ducks his head before Embry can be sure, but in the low light, he's almost positive that his friend is blushing. Quil never blushes.
"Haven't you got someone else to annoy?" he whines, shooting a crabby glare in Embry's direction. "As if losing my breakfast wasn't enough torture."
"Okay, okay, I'll interrogate you later. This isn't over, Ateara," Embry vows, teasingly wagging a finger in Quil's direction.
If Quil was capable of anger, he'd definitely be seething.
"Get your coffee and go, I beg you."
Embry only laughs.
His hands tremble a little as he raises his fist to rap gently on her door. Part of him itches to run, to tear into the forest like a bat out of hell, to give into the childish urge to shrug off responsibility.
Doing the right thing is far harder than he'd ever imagined.
It's 8.55, though, and his mother had drilled it into him ever since he could talk: always make good on your promises.
He knocks.
She opens the door a short while later, a vision in white with her curls still wet from the shower. Tiny beads of moisture glisten around the crown of her head like a little halo that he would kill to lick away.
He shakes his head a little. Bad thoughts, he muses, internally chastising himself. Keep it casual.
"Hey, Lex," he says, hoping she doesn't notice the way his cheeks flush hot under her gaze, or the way he keeps himself at a safe distance.
She knew he was coming, hell, she'd invited him, but somehow her eyes are as wide as saucers at the sight of him on her doorstep. Still, she extends her hand, reaching forward to grasp his fingers.
"You can come closer, you know. I'm not mad at you anymore."
His eyebrows shoot up. "You're not?"
Her lips twist into a tiny smile. "Not really. You listened, at least. You were honest. That cancels out the wolf thing."
"Huh. Okay, I'll take that. I meant what I said last night, by the way. I'm around for as long as you want me."
"God, it's too early for this shit," she groans, pressing her knuckles against her temples. "Please, no serious conversation until I've had some coffee."
"Noted," he says, fighting to keep a grin off his face. "I guess it's only polite to ply you with breakfast first."
That's all the invitation she needs to pull on her boots, lacing them tight against her calves. Her fingers weave the cords effortlessly, as if she's been threading hiking boots all of her life. She probably has, too, knowing what he knows about her father's work ethic.
She squints up at him from her crouched position. "You good?"
"Yeah it's...nothing. Let's go," he says, leading the way to the truck. She misses the way he scrunches and unscrunches his face, trying to iron out the visible tension before she picks up on it. Lex has a billion and one worries as it is - she doesn't need any more, especially not from him. She needs security and comfort, enduring stability that she can depend on.
It's nice to be needed.
They ride in silence until he flips the blinker on, weaving his way through the lot to an empty spot.
"No Sue today?"
In all honesty, he'd rather die than bring Lex back to the Rez right now. His transgression has become common knowledge, and he's all too aware that the looks directed her way will kill her desire to spend any extra time with him. Embry's not sure what's worse: the fact that he'd lost control, or the knowledge that the gossips have already begun to describe her as Emily 2.0.
Explanations are overrated, though, and so Embry simply shrugs. "You can't call Sue the best if we don't try the competition."
Lex rolls her eyes, but the amusement radiates from her expression as clear as day. "You'll have to tell her we cheated," she says, swinging the door open to the crowded cafe. "I could never break her heart like that."
"Ah, but if we tell her it was espionage," he winks, glancing briefly at the waitress. "Table for two, please."
Embry turns his head towards Lex quickly, shying away from the lingering look from the other woman. It's become common for the shifters to get extra female attention, what with their impossible physiques and imposing presences, but what was once flattering has become uncomfortable. None of the women who stared truly liked him beyond the physical, and none of them were actually interested - not until her - but the thought of recounting that makes his stomach turn.
Lex remains quiet as they're seated, skimming the menu in silence. True to her word, she says little until her coffee arrives, the beverage dark and sludgy like the liquified contents of Quil's forgotten lunch. Lex lines up a row of sugar packets methodically, twisting the paper wrappers back and forth between her fingers.
She tears the slip off the first packet, pouring the granules into the steaming cup.
"Were you telling the truth when you said you got to pick me too?"
"Of course I was. If I was stuck with you, you'd definitely hear about it."
Lex snorts. "That's one way of being honest, I guess."
She tears the second packet open, spilling a little onto the tabletop.
"If you could un-imprint, would you?"
Embry scratches his head. "Would you believe me if I said I haven't thought about it? Life led me to you, and I'm happy with that. I don't need a do-over."
She nods silently. Her fingers shake as she fiddles with the final packet, narrowly avoiding dropping the whole thing into her coffee. Finally, once all of the sugar has been emptied into her mug, she speaks.
"If we found a way, and I asked you, would you do it?"
"If you want me to leave you alone, I will. I can do that for you."
Lex shakes her head vigorously. "That's the problem," she mutters, violently stirring her coffee, the inky liquid slopping onto the table. "I want you to choose me for real. I want this to be real."
Something about the way her eyes glint with sorrow awakens something within him, revitalising the ache that he's carried through countless days and nights since their first meeting. What was once a simple twinge has morphed into something bigger, something more agonising than its predecessor could ever hope to be. Jared had coached him through tapping into the bond, showing him how to flex the boundaries of his mind to accommodate hers. What he'd neglected to show, though, was how to turn it off. There's only so much a man can endure, and the unrelenting washes of anxiety are sure to wear his nerves thin. Embry swallows hard. In the history of the tribe (at least, in their surviving history) there has been no mention of broken imprints, of successful do-overs. Fate is final: no returns.
"What if I can't figure out a way?"
"Try. For me. Please," she begs, gripping his hands tightly.
Her eyes are searching his for answers he cannot give. It's impossible, but it's what she wants, and so he has to try.
Even if it kills him.
"Do you think we did the right thing?" Emily asks, flicking her braid over her shoulder as she scrubs the casserole pan.
For all the time they spend at the Uley house, it's rare to actually have a moment of solitude - no Rachel, no Claire, just the two of them. It's not like Kim dislikes Emily - okay, maybe just a little - but that she doesn't understand her - how can she?
"We? I didn't ask you to do that," Kim says, picking at her cuticles. Maybe if she stares at her fingers long enough, if she hopes hard enough, Emily will drop the subject.
Instead, Emily's hands still, the glass pot clattering noisily against the metal sink. She turns to face Kim slowly, casting her a reproachful look. "We had to do it. You know that. She would have left him."
"Then she leaves. It's not our place to make her stay," Kim insists, determinedly avoiding Emily's eye as she works at the thin skin.
Surely she'll turn away. They never fight. They can't.
The older woman sighs, leaving the kitchen to come and sit at the table. Emily's barely older than Kim, with only a couple of years separating the two, but she's fallen into the weathered housewife role as if it was made for her. If Kim scours her memories extra hard, she can vaguely remember Emily before Sam shifted - a girl who was a little more serious than Leah, though still sprightly and vivacious. Leah had said something once in a fight about Emily having offers from UW and freaking U of Oregon, for Christ's sake.
And then Sam had happened.
Emily stretches out a hand to wrap around Kim's fidgeting fingers, but it feels more controlling than comforting. "Kimmy...you know what we have to do."
"Looking after the tribe doesn't mean lying," she mutters, finally glancing up. "If I was her, I'd want to know. Just because we're stuck here doesn't mean we have to condemn other people."
Emily's mouth settles into a thin line. "I don't know what's gotten into you lately, Kim. You were so good with the other girls. What happened?"
"What happened? Can't you see what's going on around here? They're trapping us, Emily, surely you can see that. Sam took everything from you, and you're still here. I'm sick of pretending like this is a good thing for us," Kim scowls, curling her fingers into fists atop the table.
"That's enough," Emily snaps, briefly losing her ever-present composure. Her face quickly smooths back into its usual mask, but it's too late.
"He took everything from you, and he can't even give you a honeymoon. How fair is that?"
Emily purses her lips. "He can't leave the tribe. You know that."
"Just like we know that he isn't the real Alpha, right?" Kim stands abruptly, her chair scraping noisily against the polished wood. "I'm done. I'm sick of sitting at home like some old maiden with no future. Hell, you can take over my duties. I'm not doing this anymore."
"Just sit down, Kim. You're not thinking rationally. I'll call Jared-"
Kim spins on her heel, her face a picture of incandescent rage. "No," she spits, "you don't get to control me anymore. None of you do. I'm leaving."
The last thing Kim sees at 28 Laurel Way is Emily's shell-shocked expression, her eyebrows raised and mouth shaped in a perfect O.
Idly, Kim wonders if that was the face she made moments before Sam carved her face into a million ribbons.
Lex and Embry are halfway through a game of Monopoly when a series of quick raps sounds from the front door.
"Lucky break," Lex laughs, eyeing off Embry's tiny collection of bills. "I'll take those when I get back. Do you know who it is?" she asks, slowly coming to her feet.
Embry cocks his head to the side as he focuses, narrowing his eyes slightly. "Uh...it's not a wolf. That's about all I've got."
"Ugh, you're a terrible guard dog," she admonishes, padding down the hallway to the front door.
The hallway hasn't smelt the same since Embry wolfed out - two bottles of bleach and a can of Lysol has that effect - and when the light strikes the floor at just the right angle, she swears she can still see remnants of the blood splatter.
Lex shivers at the thought, reaching a cautious hand to smooth over the healing sutures running across her skin.
"You good, Lex?" Embry calls, sounding a touch concerned for her liking.
"Yeah, yeah, I got it," she grumbles, twisting the brass doorknob just as the knocks resume. "Hey-"
Kim squeezes around Lex before she can even finish her greeting, shutting the door firmly behind her. She leans against it, pressing her hands against her cheeks in an attempt to cover her face.
"Are you crying?" Lex asks, peering closely at her friend's face.
Kim nods, her figure shaking as she cries. "It's bad, Lex, it's really bad."
"Did you kill anyone?"
Kim drops her hands, aghast. "What? Why would you ask that?"
"Well, that's the only thing I can't help you with. Come sit down. We'll figure something out."
Lex cocks her head towards the hallway, inviting her further into the house. Kim trails behind her, marginally calmer than before.
"Kim? What's going on?" Embry asks, raising an eyebrow.
Kim stops dead in his tracks, her head snapping towards Lex. "You didn't tell me he was coming over."
"Huh? You've been pushing me towards him since we met, and now you're upset he's here, like you didn't spend the last week pleading his case. I don't get it."
Embry clears his throat. "Do you want me to leave?"
They speak simultaneously.
"Yes."
"No."
"Embry, sit," Lex orders, pointing towards the couch.
He obliges, lowering himself onto the cushions, though every inch of his body radiates pure discomfort.
"Kim, you sit here," Lex says, beckoning her over to the pile of blankets by the board game.
Kim hesitates, her eyes darting across to Embry, but a single raised eyebrow from Lex is enough to compel her.
"Talk. Tell me what's going on. Embry won't say anything."
"He can't hide it, Lex. You know they can hear each other's thoughts."
"I'm not phasing tonight. I'll hide it as long as I can," he promises, squeezing Lex's hip in a bid to settle her racing heart.
Kim nods after a moment. "Okay. But please, Lex, just listen to the whole thing before you kick me out. You need to hear everything."
"I don't like where this is going."
"I know. I'm sorry." Kim rakes a hand roughly through her hair, her fingers catching on the snarls. Her phone rings shrilly, though it cuts off after a second of Kim depressing the power key.
"God, where do I even start? I guess I'll start at the end, since you know that part, and then you can hear the rest. Try not to be mad, please."
"Just tell the story, Kim," Embry huffs.
"Fine. Emily lied to you yesterday. The stories about Sam were right. He gave her the scars."
Lex recoils from Embry's touch, scooting over to the edge of the couch. "I- What the hell? You," she growls, pointing at Kim, "didn't tell me the truth. And you," she says, turning to face Embry, "let me believe the lie!"
Embry raises his hands in surrender. "I didn't know Emily said that. You asked me if he chose, and he did choose her. He followed her to the Makah Rez, and they argued out on the trail. It was too late to change their minds after that."
Lex lowers her head into her hands. Her voice is muffled, but the pained groan is all too audible.
Kim continues, though her voice shakes. "I talked to Emily about it today. She wants you to be with Embry, even if it means lying to you, and you need the truth. Embry could hurt you like Sam did. Like Jared could hurt me."
"Lex, I would never -"
She lifts her head, cutting him off with a sharp look. "Please, not now. I need to see that you're different, that you're better than what I saw, okay? Don't tell me again."
"Okay," he whispers, his heart in his throat.
She's slipping through his fingers like sand in an hourglass and all he can do is watch.
Lex turns back to Kim. "What else did Emily lie about?"
Kim winces. "It's not a lie, not exactly, but she planned out what I had to say to you so that you would talk to Embry. She plans it out for all the imprints, and then I bring them into the Rez."
"Christ, is this a fucking cult?" Lex groans, squeezing her eyes shut.
"I did it because I thought I was doing the right thing, I need you to know that. I believed her when she said it was my duty. You shouldn't have been brought into this. I'm sorry."
Finally, she opens her eyes. "So what I'm hearing is Embry is forced to love me, and you were forced to be my friend. What an excellent way to start my day."
"You've been kinder to me in the past few months than anyone around here has ever been," Kim says, hastily wiping her tears away. "Emily didn't look twice in my direction until Jared saw me. You cared before you even knew Embry existed. You were different, and I still dragged you into this mess."
"If she didn't ask you to, would you have been my friend? Would you care? Or is this all an act to get me to trust you again?"
Kim's lip quivers. "I swear to you, I'm telling you the truth. You deserve better than this, but all I've got to give you is the real story. I wish things were different. I wish we were different."
Embry tears his eyes away from Lex to face Kim. "Lex wants to break the imprint. I need you to help us."
"Nobody's ever broken a bond, Em, you know that."
"I know, but we have to try. We owe it to her."
Lex leans forward to grip Kim's hands, holding her gaze with an unreadable expression. "We're going to undo it, and then we can properly choose each other. It won't be over."
"Are you sure this is what you want?" Kim asks, chewing on her lip. "I don't even know if we can do it."
"We're going to find a way. I need this, but I know you both do too. We all need a do-over."
Kim nods slowly, mulling the words over in her mind. "If you break your bond, I can break mine. Jared can choose." She exhales with a sudden whoosh of breath. "I'll do it. I'm in."
Embry's eyes are rimmed red and watery beyond belief, but he nods, too. "If this is what you want, then I'll do it. You know I'll do anything for you."
"When it's all over, we'll find each other again. I know we will."
Kim turns her head pointedly to study the pattern on the living room wall, doing her best to blend in with the furniture. She's done enough already - privacy is the least she can do.
Embry gently rests his palms against Lex's cheeks, stroking his thumbs over her skin. Her eyelids flutter closed as she savours the moment, wishing she could rewind time, that she could undo everything terrible that's happened. All they have is the present, and the seconds are rapidly ticking by as they hurtle towards their future, as bleak and uncertain as the dark skies that loom overhead. Embry's lips press softly against hers. It's not the fiery, passionate sort of kiss they've secretly been dreaming about; it's understated and simple, a wordless goodbye.
"I'll always choose you," he whispers, resting his forehead against hers.
"I hope so," she replies, lowering her gaze to avoid his searching stare.
He sees the glistening tears that wet her lashes, a silent betrayal of her torment. Knowing she wants him like he wants her is equally gratifying and terrifying - it's been the only thing he's wanted for months, but now that he has it, he can't enjoy it. Not until he defies his destiny and abandons the truth he's believed in for so long. Keeping her means setting her free, and so breaking the imprint is the most important thing he can possibly do.
How to achieve that, on the other hand, is a complete mystery.
Embry dials Quil's number four times before he answers, muttering hello in a voice thick with sleep.
"Really, man? You know I had patrol this morning."
"Dude, it's four o' freaking clock. Get moving, Sleeping Beauty."
"I'll remember that tomorrow when I need something from you. What's up?"
"Can you run my double tonight? Please, man, I need your help."
Quil chokes out a laugh. "Another double after my third in a row? Hell no."
Embry lowers his voice so the girls can't hear, even though they're entirely distracted. "I'm having major imprint issues, dude, I can't leave her. Please. Cash in one of those "no questions asked" favours."
Quil groans, but the rustling in the background is an encouraging sign. "You owe me big time, Call."
"I'll put in a good word with Leah."
"Oh you wouldn't -"
Embry hands up before Quil can rant any further. His word with Leah is sure to carry zero weight, but it's endlessly amusing to annoy his oldest and closest friend.
Jacob.
Jacob will know what to do.
His shoes are off and discarded on the living room floor before he remembers his predicament - phasing means spilling his secrets, and nobody can know about the plan. Embry hesitates, one sock already unsheathed, as he contemplates his options.
"What's with the strip show?" Lex teases, quirking an eyebrow at the clothing.
He shakes his head quickly. "I need to see Jacob. I have to drive out to Seattle."
Lex purses her lips in thought. "Jacob? Why?"
"Sam's in charge around here, but Jake's the real boss. He'll help us. I just need to convince him."
"Then go. Go, and come back to me."
Embry hesitates for a second, gripping his car keys so tightly that the metal grooves cut into his flesh. "Are you certain you want this? Once we start, I don't know we can stop."
Lex stretches up on her tiptoes to wrap her arms around his neck. "The imprint is the only thing stopping this from being real. I want this."
He nods tersely. "Read the letters while I'm gone. Don't forget, Lex, I'm coming back for you."
I'm coming back for you.
It's a phrase she hears again and again in her dreams over the next few weeks, weeks in which it feels as if her heart is being cleaved in two.
He's coming back for her.
He has to.