A/N: The second follow up to Chapter 74 Aftermath.
Shayera's back hit the ground hard after being punched in the chest and sent flying back. In the distance she could hear the sound of snickering but she ignored it and focused on trying to breathe.
The Apokoliptian was tall with long black hair. Her eyes, a fiery red, reminded Shayera of actual fire. She walked forward, her boots making soft, clanking sounds upon the ground.
"Well, Thanagarian, this is a surprise. Last time I punched someone that hard they died instantly. I will give you this one chance to stand down. If you do I shall allow you to live long enough to see this world burn. Otherwise I will be forced to beat you mercilessly until you draw your last breath."
Shayera rolled over onto her stomach and slowly rose to her feet, ignoring the pain from Grail's punch. She was almost shaking with rage as she saw her mace in the Apokoliptian's hands.
"I'd rather die than surrender to you. Warriors of Thanagar do not fear death," Shayera snarled causing Grail to smirk.
"Let's just see what happens. Shall we?" She replied before flying towards Shayera at superspeed.
Shayera hardly had the chance to raise her arm up as her own mace was flying towards her head. The next thing Shayera had felt was a blinding pain in her left wrist as the Nth metal mace shattered it upon impact.
Shayera woke with a start, drenched in sweat, taking in her surroundings while breathing heavily. Shayera found herself in her bed, next to John, in their apartment. A vastly different environment than the nightmare she was just pulled out of. She took a deep breath as she moved and sat on the edge of the bed. She looked down and saw her hands were lightly trembling. She frowned and clenched her hands into fists in order to stop the shaking. She could hear her pulse pounding with a violence she felt throughout her entire body.
Tension drew tight in Shayera's stomach as she closed her eyes. It was the same every single time she slept. The same dreams. The same flashbacks. It was as though a record was playing her memories nonstop in her mind.
Her dreams always started the same way, always followed the same path, and always ended the same. They were never nice and they never stopped. Grail was always in them, mocking her once again, poised and ready to strike.
The feeling she woke up to was always the same, as if after everything she had been through hadn't been enough. She always felt the dread, that something worse was coming. That she would once again find herself on the battlefield opposing Grail, once more facing certain death. That it hadn't been simply a dream but actual reality.
Her nightmares were always the same and never stopped.
She hugged her arms around herself and tried to forget the feeling of having the life beaten out of her, the helplessness, the pain.
Shayera exhaled deeply and forced herself to lay back down onto her right side. She hadn't even laid down for a minute when she had to choke back a lump in her throat and her eyes burned with unfallen tears. She dread the thought of falling asleep once again.
Currently the fight between the two couldn't even be called a fight. It was a savage beating as Grail batted Shayera around like a rag doll, not giving her a chance to attack or defend.
Grail performed a roundhouse kick and struck Shayera square in the hip. The Thanagarian was sent flying and crashed into the side of a building.
Stumbling out of the debris, Shayera fell to her knees from the searing pain. The pain wasn't just in her hip but also her left knee. Forcing herself to stand, Shayera scowled as her left leg throbbed. The last thing she needed was a broken leg. Her left arm and wrist were already broken. She could hardly attack and defending her left side was near impossible at this point. Adding insult to injury, Shayera knew Grail was toying with her and that she could finish her off at any given time.
"You are quite durable aren't you? How many broken bones do you have by now?" Grail mockingly asked before attacking again.
Shayera attempted to dodge the lunge but Grail quickly grabbed Shayera by the left ankle before she had the chance to get any further. She then twisted the Thanagarian's ankle and slammed her onto her back. Snarling, Grail lashed out with a punch but Shayera rolled out of the way from the blow as the Apokoliptian's fist ruptured the ground beneath it.
Shayera quickly leapt to her feet and landed an uppercut, managing to knock Grail onto her back. Shayera threw another punch at her but Grail caught her fist.
"I'm growing bored of this," Grail quietly said before giving the Thanagarian a sinister smile that made her stomach turn. Grail then pulled back her fist. Shayera expected to get socked in the face but instead Grail punched her full force on her left side.
Immediately Shayera could taste blood in her mouth as she then fell to her knees and began to cough. It didn't surprise her to see blood splattered on the ground as she struggled to breathe. What did surprise and alarm her was the amount of blood. Shayera collapsed to the ground as she continued to cough up blood.
"That should be the end of it now," she heard Grail dismissively state and heard her footsteps move away from her.
After a few moments, Shayera slowly lifted her head and upper body up and her eyes locked onto John's. She could see the pure fear in his eyes. Shayera ignored the pain as she stumbled to her feet. Quickly she spread out her wings and took to the air in a desperate ploy to escape. Not even ten seconds later Shayera heard John shout her name as a hand grabbed her left wing, roughly yanked it back, followed by the blinding pain in said wing, and everything went black.
One hour had hardly passed before Shayera shot straight up as she woke up screaming. She immediately felt a pair of arms wrap around her.
"Shayera it's okay. Everything is okay," John firmly said to her as he rubbed her back in an attempt to calm her down. "Babe, calm down, you're okay."
This was unfortunately becoming a nightly routine between them since she came home a month ago. Despite being a heavy sleeper, Shayera's screams always managed to wake him up and it didn't happen only once per night. She couldn't seem to sleep for more than an hour or two at a time without being woken up by her nightmares. John didn't even know if the word nightmares was even an appropriate term to use for them anymore. Night terrors seemed to be more accurate at this point.
John could feel the tears coursing down her cheeks as they soaked into his t-shirt. He could feel the heaving breaths struggling their way in and out of her chest. John pulled her even closer against him.
"Grail can't get to you. It won't happen," he quietly said to her. "I won't let it ever happen again. I promise Shayera; I'll never let it happen." He could feel her whole body shaking as she tightly wrapped her arms around him.
John sighed and ran his hand over Shayera's back, up her neck, and through her hair. He let Shayera cry herself out, let her tremble, let her cling tightly to him, a bit too tightly. Shayera had incoherently mumbled that she loved him against his shoulder and John quietly responded that he loved her too. They both knew there would be no sleep for either of them that night.
"You're safe Shay," he whispered. "Okay?"
"Don't let go," Shayera had buried her face against John's neck, her arms tightening around his body. "Don't let me go."
"Don't worry I'm here," John pressed his lips to the top of Shayera's head. "I'm never going to leave you." His words seemed to calm Shayera. He felt the Thanagarian relax against him as her breathing calmed and she let out a sigh. Not for the first time John wondered just how much damage Shayera hid within herself that he still didn't know about. As strong as she was, metaphorically she was still only human.
"J'onn she can't even sleep through the night," John sighed in frustration as he sat across from the Martian in the founders' conference room. "I mean I figured that the fight would have affected her in some way but not like this. I've never seen Shayera like this before."
J'onn stayed silent for a moment before he spoke, "Shayera went through an extremely traumatic experience. It's not unreasonable for her to be petrified of Grail. That is what her nightmares still consist of correct?"
John nodded, "Yeah she said it's the same every single time she tries to sleep. Her memories of the fight just keep playing over and over in her mind."
"It is normally recommended that if a person finds that their fear holds them back or creates bigger problems in their life, facing that fear may help them learn to better cope with the fear and ultimately overcome it," J'onn explained. "We could have her fight a zeta-bot in the simulation room and have it use its holo-projector to appear as Grail."
John shook his head, "Shayera's not even physically close to being able to go back into combat. She's just starting to be able to walk around the apartment without the braces. She still has to wear them to walk around the Metro Tower or Watchtower." John then paused before he spoke again, "I also don't think it would help her at all. If anything I think seeing Grail again would make it even worse on her."
"It wouldn't be just her that would need to be involved in that fight," J'onn then said.
The Green Lantern raised an eyebrow at that, "I'm not following."
"Shayera is not the only one who is experiencing nightmares," J'onn gave him a pointed look. "You seem to forget that I am a telepath."
John frowned, "Are you reading my mind? I don't recall giving you permission to do that."
"I didn't," J'onn replied. "You are openly broadcasting your own thoughts unfiltered. Shayera was not the only one who was traumatized by the events that unfolded. You are also being heavily weighed down by your guilt and it is not only that of you being unable to protect Shayera but of the aftermath. I have said it before and I shall say it again, I do not recommend keeping the extent of Shayera's injuries a secret from her. She has every right to know."
John gave J'onn a dark glare that would have down Shayera proud. He then scowled as he spoke, "What do you want me to say to her? How do you want me to tell her?"
"Simple," the Martian frowned. "You tell her the truth."
"Oh cause that's obviously going to go over so well," John sarcastically said. "Hey Shayera I know you had no idea about this but you were apparently pregnant when you fought Grail. Oh and let me add some salt to that fresh wound, getting your pelvis shattered also made it impossible for you to ever get pregnant again on top of it," John sighed as he continued to glare at J'onn. "What in that whole spiel sounds like a good idea to say to her? Do you have any idea how guilt-ridden Shayera would be? She already feels guilty enough that she didn't see Emma and Rex for over three months."
"How do you think she would feel if she were to somehow find out on her own?" J'onn asked him.
With that John scowled once more at the Martian, "I'm warning you right now. You say one word to her J'onn and there will be nothing my ring won't be able to do to you."
J'onn narrowed his eyes, "As a friend I am concerned for her wellbeing, both physically and mentally. If I didn't think she would be able to handle that knowledge than I never would suggest it."
"Well don't suggest it ever again. She might be your friend but she's my wife. I've been married to Shayera for nearly eleven years and together with her for over thirteen. I don't need to be a telepath to know how she thinks," John snapped as he stormed out of the room.
"J'onn I don't know what to do anymore. I feel like I'm going insane," Shayera sat across from the Martian in the founders' conference room. She let out a sigh as she rested her head in her hands. "I can't even sleep. John isn't getting any sleep because I'm keeping him up at night. I even woke up Emma and Rex before."
"What do your dreams consist of?" J'onn asked as he feigned ignorance.
Shayera swallowed as she took a deep breath and looked up at him, "It's always the same. All I see is my fight with Grail. I...J'onn I can feel every hit as though it's happening all over again. I remember every single second of that fight. It just plays over and over in my mind. I can't get it to stop."
"Have you tried talking with John at all?"
"I can't burden him with anymore of this J'onn. I can tell there's something bothering him," Shayera paused. "I understand that he watched that entire fight and he was powerless to help me. I know how guilty he must feel but I don't blame him for anything that happened to me. I knowingly fought Grail knowing full well there was a very good possibility I was going to get killed."
"Have you said any of this to him?"
Shayera slowly shook her head, "No I don't really want to talk about what happened with him. The last thing I want to do is upset him even more."
"Shayera I would suggest talking with him. I believe it would do you both some good," J'onn suggested. "You were both traumatized in different ways by this event. You were reminded of your own mortality and faced a foe more powerful than you could have ever imagined. John was reminded of not only your mortality but that, even though you are not a human, you are not invincible and that he cannot always be there to protect you."
"John has guilt over what happened," Shayera quietly added on. "Me on the other hand, I just became a nervous and terrified wreck. I haven't even been able to look at or touch my own mace."
"Perhaps you would benefit from confronting your fear eventually," J'onn stated. "As you know the zeta-bots have holo-projectors. We could have one appear as Grail. We would have the bot remain stationary and you would be allowed to fight it in that state."
Shayera sat silently for a moment before she responded, "I don't know if that would work honestly. I...I don't know how I would react to ever seeing her again in real life. Hell I don't even know if I'm ever going to be able to fight again. As the Earth saying goes, the jury's still out on how well I am going to fully recover at this point. I'll at least consider talking to John about things."
J'onn gave her a small sympathetic smile, "It takes time to recover from something like this. While the physical injuries may heal and disappear, you will have mental hurdles you will need to push past and they may never leave you. Just as some of your physical injuries may never go away, you may need to learn how to deal with the mental scars left behind. Though this will all take patience on your end in learning how to cope with everything."
"Something I've never had," she lightly quipped. Shayera sighed again as she slowly stood to leave, "J'onn can I ask you for a favor?"
"It depends on what it is."
"Can you...not tell John about me coming to talk to you?" Shayera slowly asked him as she looked away. "I just...I don't know. I never was one to talk about how I feel and all of that stuff. I just rather keep this between us."
J'onn released a soft sigh before he curtly nodded, "Very well."
"You can still fly. We're going to need to do something about that," John heard Grail quietly say and his stomach immediately did a somersault. Before he knew it Grail had took to the sky after Shayera.
"Shayera!" He desperately yelled out to her.
Everything seemed to slow around John as he watched Grail grab Shayera's left wing and pulled it back. As Grail pulled her fist back, John thought he was going to be sick. Then came the bloodcurdling scream from Shayera as Grail snapped her wing with a swift punch. John thought that would have been the end but he watched in horror as Grail grabbed Shayera and lifted her in the air before bringing her down onto her knee and performing a backbreaker on her.
Then Grail dropped her and the Thanagarian fell limply to the ground below.
There was no sound when Shayera hit the ground.
That should have been odd. John knew that rationally but, for some reason, he didn't find it odd and couldn't bring himself to care about why he didn't think it was odd.
All John could hear was his own heart pounding in his ears as he ran over to Shayera.
At first, John didn't know whether he should even touch her. He then took a deep breath as he gently turned her over onto her back. He then lifted her upper body off of the ground as he hugged her against his chest. That was when John felt Shayera exhale and her body went flaccid in his arms. John quickly realized that her chest wasn't rising anymore.
Panic immediately coursed through John as he laid Shayera back onto the ground. He quickly pressed his index and middle fingers against her neck. He then swallowed as his hand dropped from her neck. With all of her injuries, John knew he couldn't safely give her CPR. That was if chest compressions could even work on a Thanagarian.
All John could do was feebly look down at Shayera's face, her eyes closed as blood stained down the sides of her mouth. He then picked her back up into his arms and tightly hugged her against him. All he could feel was the weight of her body in his arms, a dead weight.
That was when it had hit John. Shayera was dead.
He didn't feel the rocks digging into his knee as he knelt in the rubble of the battlefield. He didn't hear the Boom Tube behind him as Superman finally made his appearance and streaked after Grail. He didn't register the arrival of the Justice League members who were finally able to return from New Genesis.
He should move. He knew that. He should get himself and Shayera's body out of the line of fire as Superman traded heavy blows with Grail.
But somehow, for some reason, movement eluded him. He felt frozen, unable to think or act.
Gradually, though, sounds started to penetrate the fog in his brain.
Then he heard a soft voice behind him.
"Oh no, no, no, no," Wally zipped over and knelt in front of him. Even with the cowl on, John could see the devastation on the speedster's face as he gently placed a hand on Shayera's shoulder. Suddenly John saw Wally's expression grow serious and he raced away. Only seconds later he returned but with Static in tow.
"You need to zap her or do whatever to get her pulse back," he heard Wally say with Static. "Shock her with as much power as you got."
"I don't know if that's going to work," Static countered. "Isn't Shayera an alien?"
"It doesn't matter," John was powerless as Wally pried Shayera from his arms and laid her on the ground. "You're the only chance she has."
"I mean I know how much juice it takes to revive a human but I don't know about a Thanagarian," Static warily stated. He then placed one hand on her right shoulder and the other over her left ribs.
"Just start at double the joules needed for a human and work your way up," Wally firmly said but then John saw him scowl. "Come on!"
Virgil lightly jumped in surprise as he quickly nodded, "Alright!" That was when Static began to shock Shayera.
John held his breath as Static slowly upped the wattage with each passing second. He also felt himself losing to despair with each second that Shayera wasn't responding.
Static then paused. He swallowed as he lowered his goggles over his eyes, "Alright full power this time."
Static had hardly shocked her for five seconds this time before her eyes twitched and she slowly moved her head to the side. John felt his breath get caught in his throat as her hand then twitched. She was alive. His relief was short lived as Shayera weakly coughed and more blood came up.
"Tell Terrific I need the teleport pads cleared the second I get into the Metro Tower," Wally instructed Virgil. "Then tell J'onn what happened and to meet me in the medbay."
Virgil simply nodded as he pressed a finger to his ear. John was in a daze as he watched Wally pick up Shayera's limp form in a bridal carry and then raced off with her just seconds later.
Panic began to race through John again as Shayera was now out of his line of sight.
John gasped as his eyes shot open. He sighed and looked over to his side. Unsurprisingly Shayera was wake as well and was staring back at him. He didn't know whether she was awake from her own nightmares or if he had woken her up sometime during the night. He then saw the small frown form on her face.
"I'm-" John didn't get the chance to finish as his wife immediately cut him off.
"If you say you're fine, I might just injure you myself," Shayera half-heartedly threatened him. "I have one good arm left and can deal a nasty right hook still."
That comment caused a sudden snort of laughter from John and he smirked, "Alright, so I won't say I'm fine. I'm okay, Shayera."
He heard Shayera let out an exasperated sigh and then felt her body press against his, "No, you're not. Just like how I'm not."
John swallowed, "Shay, we don't have to talk about this."
"I know that, John," there was a hint of a bite in her tone and he found himself grinning at the sudden return to what passed as normal behavior for her. "When have you ever known me to do something I didn't want to do?"
"Well when you put it like that..." he let his voice drift off as he chuckled.
"We don't have to but we need to," John looked down and saw the pointed stare Shayera was giving him. She wasn't going to let him skirt out of this conversation. No matter how uncomfortable it got for either of them.
John was silent for a moment before he spoke, "I wasn't there for you when you fought Grail. For a long time, I wondered if my power ring would have made any difference in how things panned out. If fighting by your side would have made any difference. If maybe I could have-"
"I'm glad you weren't John," Shayera cut him off. "If you had been, Grail would have killed you too."
"You know, I hadn't actually even considered that at first," John stated with sigh. "I came to that conclusion after the fact."
"I immediately did and let me tell you, I don't think I want to live in that world," Shayera was vehement on that point. "I would never want to live without you John."
"But back to my main point, we'll never truly know whether there was something I could have done to help or whether it would have been all in vain," John then kissed her forehead. "And I suppose, what I really wanted to say, is that, I hope that being here with you now can and will help you get past the rest of this."
John felt Shayera tighten her arms around him, "I know that I eventually will and you'll be here right next to me the entire time." John found himself humbled by the strength of her belief in him. Though that also made him fill up with guilt once more. She truly didn't know or could understand how much he felt like he had failed her.
John then swallowed before he continued, "I never did say this before but I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything that happened to you."
"It's not your fault John and it never will be," Shayera felt the tears threaten to come forth and she blinked hard to hold them back. She managed to instead force a small smile, "I should be the one apologizing, not you." Thankfully for John, she didn't notice that he winced at her words. Shayera then paused, "I can understand why you feel so guilty. I mean, if the roles were reversed, I would be exactly the same. If anything I would be more on the rage end of things."
John smirked, "You would have been almost the same but there's no way in hell you wouldn't have threatened Grail with either death or sticking your mace up her ass."
"You sound very sure of yourself that you know what I would have done," John could feel Shayera's own smirk against his skin.
"That's because I am sure. I know you Shay," his words were definite, stated as a fact not to be debated.
He then heard her snort as she held back a laugh, "And what makes you so sure of that?"
John tightened his hold on her and kissed the top of her head before speaking, "Because you're my tough, little Thanagarian fighter."
A/N: Sorta unplanned but there will be a third, and hopefully final, follow up chapter to Aftermath.