I've been struggling so much with this chapter that updating feels unreal. The first half is kinda angsty and the second half is more fun, I think. I'll just not make any comments bc I've been undecided between hating and loving this so many times so yeah... Sorry for the long wait! Uni has started too, so my writing time is cut considerably short from now on:/ Why am I such a workaholic, sigh. I never learn.
Also, things are gonna get intense from the next chapter and onwards... :3
Chapter 33: Out of tune
xxx
"Where's Itachi?"
"Oh he'll be here in a minute, he told me to go ahead."
"I see. Fugaku dear, where's the- ah, thank you!"
Charasuke rubbed at his tired eyes, watching his mother fuss around the small meeting room, Shisui already lounging in his seat. She placed the tea pot his dad had brought in the middle of the small table, cups already placed in front of each chair. He wasn't a morning person, but he definitely wasn't a wake-up-at-two-in-the-morning person. It didn't help that the room was only lit up by a portable electric lamp that left most of it in shadows. At least he still wore his comfy pajamas, but he was starting to regret not bringing a blanket.
"Sasuke, would you hold your cup out for me?"
He dutifully did as told, allowing Mikoto to fill it with steaming tea. Why they needed to have this meeting in the dead of night he didn't know, and he would probably be more excited about it if he didn't feel dead to the world.
"Sorry I'm late," Itachi apologized as he walked inside, looking like he was wearing the clothes he'd been sleeping in, too.
It made Sasuke feel slightly better to know he wasn't the only one losing beauty sleep over this.
"Let's start right away, then," Obito said, placing a neat stack of papers in front of himself. "This is the report I'll be handing in to Tsunade-sama in the morning, so let's go through it properly and see if anyone can add details to it."
Sasuke blinked sleepily, blowing on his tea. A report? Why was he woken up for something like that?
"I'm pretty sure we've gone through everything several times already," Itachi mumbled, tying his hair into a messy ponytail. "I have to get back to Akatsuki early, so don't talk too long, okay?"
"So grumpy," Shisui teased him, quickly shutting up at the look he got.
"We've never discussed it with everyone present," Mikoto reminded him, looking far too bright and neat for Sasuke's mood. "It's better to take our time now and avoid surprises later."
"We only have tomorrow left before the mission starts," Fugaku added, arms crossed and a deep frown on his face. "I'm not sure I agree with Tsunade-sama, but we don't have much choice."
"Um," Sasuke piped up, all heads turning to look at him. "What's the report on?"
"Naruto and Sasuke, obviously," Itachi sighed, slumping in his chair. "And Menma."
"Menma?" he asked, the name leaving a sour taste on his tongue.
"You'll see as we go along," Obito told him, shuffling through the papers before handing him a page. "Why don't you look through this list and see if you know anything that might be helpful."
Accepting it, he raised his eyebrows at the word 'confidential' in bright red. Everyone knew about Naruto and Sasuke arriving in the village, but apparently he'd missed the part where there was secret information about them.
He stared at the vertical timeline that filled the page, starting with their arrival and ending with 'Mission start: Land of Tea'.
"I thought it was just a regular mission?" he asked, not that he knew the details or anything.
"We'll get there," Obito promised, then cleared his throat. "I think most of us are updated on their background stories besides Sasuke, but I personally believe that Kaguya is the key here."
Sasuke was about to open his mouth and ask, but was stopped by a look from Itachi. Well, great. So he could join the meeting, but no one would actually tell him what was going on. Maybe they thought he should be grateful just for the fact that he was allowed to be present, but if that was the case he'd rather stay home and sleep.
"Yes, the question is just, which Kaguya? We know that ours is active-"
"According to Sasuke's word, she is," Mikoto interrupted Shisui with, tugging at her hair in thought. "Assuming they don't know why they're here, and assuming they're telling the truth, it's because of her that Sasuke regained his powers. But why not Naruto?"
"Maybe she'll get to him later," Fugaku suggested.
"Or he wasn't supposed to come here at all," Obito said, tapping a finger against the pile of papers in front of him. "I think we've safely ruled out Naruto's Hiraishin being able to transport them through dimensions, and Sasuke was trying to copy the technique that the masked man used to bring Naruto and Sakura here last time."
"I don't know," Mikoto hummed, moving her tea cup in small circles so that her tea swirled inside it. "They seem rather inseparable to me."
All of this was mostly going over Sasuke's head, and he pulled his knees up against his chest to sit more comfortably. As interesting as it was, he wondered why it mattered. They were already here, weren't they?
"It's definitely a risk to separate them for this mission," Itachi sighed, staring unseeingly into his cup. "I understand the reason behind it, and I don't think I'd choose differently in her position, but there is the possibility that we're forcing something we're not ready to face yet."
"And how is Menma?" Obito asked, Itachi shrugging at the question.
"Unstable but not aggressive. He's closed himself off so it's hard to read him."
At this Sasuke definitely started listening more actively, flicking his gaze between Itachi and Obito.
"I'm missing something here," he said, narrowing his eyes when met with silence. "What does Menma have to do with anything?"
"It's all speculation, honey," his mother said, smiling at him.
"So? Don't bring me to your top secret meeting if you're going to speak in riddles."
All eyes focused on him, and he glared defiantly back at them. If they were going to judge him he'd rather they had done it before dragging him here, so that if they decided he didn't need to know, he at least could have slept uninterrupted.
"Very well," Obito started, leaning back in his chair. "We're working with several different possibilities here, and one of them is a repeat of last time. We now know, courtesy of Naruto, that their Kaguya was controlling the masked man, also known as that dimension's version of me. We still don't know whether he was controlling Menma two years ago, or if someone else was."
Blinking slowly, Sasuke let the information sink in.
"It doesn't make sense for him to destroy all those other villages, considering the masked man –Obito, that is– was after Naruto."
Sasuke sighed, rubbing at his face tiredly. Most people thought there was only one masked man, one that had destroyed villages and murdered people, and who had then controlled Menma's body and used his powers against Konoha in the final fight. The reason he knew differently was because Menma had told him, had confided in him one night when-
He shook his head, not wanting to think about that right now.
"If we assume that the masked man didn't use Menma until around the time Naruto arrived, then it's possible that whoever did use him got the idea to bring Sasuke here then."
"But why Sasuke?" Fugaku asked. "Wouldn't it make sense for them to bring Naruto back, since he was the one who came here last time? They wouldn't even know anything about the other dimension's Sasuke."
"I admit it doesn't sound very logical," Obito said, flipping through his papers again. "On the other hand, it's also possible that since Kaguya is involved, she brought Sasuke here to counter whoever we're up against."
"This is all very vague," Itachi pointed out, "we have no idea who we're up against so making too detailed guesses won't get us anywhere."
"Agreed," Mikoto said. "Perhaps this mission will shed some light on the matter, perhaps not. What we do know is that Kaguya seems interested in Sasuke, and that Menma is a potential threat."
"Wait, what?! You seriously think Menma is on the enemy's side?"
Everyone gave him pitying looks, which only served to anger him.
"So what, you're sending Sasuke on some weird mission hoping Menma will show up and fight him? If there's something you're keeping from me I'd really appreciate it if you told me."
"We're sending Menma on the mission as well," Fugaku told him, combing a hand through his dark hair, a shadow flickering over his face with the movement. "There's something going on by the border, we've gotten reports of strange chakra signatures and attacks. It started right after you and Menma went on that mission there three months ago…"
Sasuke felt lightheaded. How long had his family known these things, and why hadn't they told him anything? Didn't they think he could be trusted? No one had asked him anything about Menma before, but it made sense now that Menma had mentioned feeling distrusted lately.
"Do you have any proof at all, or is this just you making assumptions as well?" he spat, stomach churning at the thought that Menma would have been anything but loyal to the village the past year. "If he's being controlled by someone, why aren't you helping him instead?!"
"Sasuke, honey, you need to calm down and let us explain."
He had half a mind to storm out of the meeting room, but bit back the feeling at the last moment. Gripping his legs hard against his chest he waited, thinking that they better have a damn good explanation for this.
"This is extremely confidential, do you understand?" his mother continued, boring her eyes into him. "No one can know. You're no longer an academy student, and it's time for you to step up and realize that as my son you're also the son of our clan's leader, and a ninja of Konoha. I don't want to make things difficult for you and this is anything but an ideal situation, but we can't afford to hide things from you any longer."
Staring at her, he wondered how he was supposed to feel about this, conflicted emotions rushing through his brain.
"Time to grow up," Shisui helpfully supplied with a weak smile, Itachi avoiding eye contact.
"Tsunade has been keeping tabs on Menma ever since what happened last time, and I'm not happy about you getting involved with him, Sasuke. But as long as he seemed to trust you I wasn't allowed to say anything about it."
"What are you talking about?" Sasuke frowned, feeling incredibly left out. Everyone gave him that look again, like they knew something he didn't and weren't happy for his sake.
"Well, Menma broke up with you. That means he will no longer confide in you, and we need to know everything he's said and done with you present."
Feeling faint again, Sasuke stared down at the table's surface. They'd been keeping an eye on Menma… as in spying on him? Did they all know about his and Menma's sort-of relationship? They'd used their relationship in order to gain information on Menma?!
"Why should I tell you anything?" he whispered, trying to swallow down the thick lump in his throat. "And why was I the only one knowing absolutely nothing?!"
"Simple," Itachi spoke up, leaning towards him over the table. "If you knew we were keeping tabs on him you would have acted differently. He would have noticed, for sure."
"Like I said," his mother repeated, "I'm not happy about this at all. But I at least convinced Tsunade-sama to not bring you in for official questioning. I'd rather do this in private with you, but you have to understand that this is serious."
"You still haven't told me what the hell's going on here," he muttered darkly, upset that they still talked to him, not with him.
"We were going to talk about Menma later, so it's natural that you don't know everything yet." Obito sounded concerned, but not intimidated by Sasuke's venomous look. "Maybe we should return to the question of Naruto and Sasuke for a while and take things in order."
"Whatever." Sasuke clenched his fists, biting into the inside of his cheek.
There was a hollow feeling in his chest, clawing at his ribs and scratching at his throat. Sure, Menma had his moments when he wasn't the nicest to be around, and it's not like he wanted to get back together with him – but for him to be involved with some undefined enemy? It felt like a strange dream.
"Alright," Shisui sighed, clasping his hands in front of himself. "We know they are the reincarnations of Indra and Ashura, and that the previous reincarnations in their dimension were Madara and Hashirama. If this really is connected to Kaguya then it makes sense that she would be able to reach out to them."
"Honestly, I can't help but think this is a lot bigger than we can imagine," Fugaku said, an unhappy look deepening the lines on his face. "That all out war they had… it sounds like a nightmare."
Everyone nodded, the mood somber. Sasuke on the other hand sat stiffly, heart pounding in his ears. Reincarnations? For real? Did that mean he and Menma… oh, who was he kidding. There's no way I'd get that kind of power, he thought bitterly, opening his left palm to glance at the pale and unmarked skin there. This night might be a flood of information he preferred not knowing, but at least he could always count on himself being completely irrelevant.
He was only in this meeting because Menma had thought he was hot, anyway.
"Our lucky scenario is Naruto and Sasuke battling it out with whomever the enemy is, keeping the rest of us out of it." Obito shuffled his papers again, as if searching for the answer in a pile of question marks. "Our not so lucky scenario is being caught in the crossfire. Or being the enemy…"
"At least Naruto seemed rather confident in handling his tailed beast, and then there's the fact Sasuke let slip that he can control all nine of them? Between his powers and Sasuke's Rinnegan we could at least deal with a similar situation to last time."
"I don't know, Shisui…" Mikoto frowned, placing her cup down. "There's too much hanging on those two. For all we know they really could turn against us."
"But why would they do that?" Sasuke bit his lip as soon as the words had left him, wishing he'd stayed silent. "We don't know anything about them, but I don't think they would do that. If they care about us in their dimension, they would care here, too. Right?"
"Sasuke, we're not saying they would do it voluntarily," his mother disagreed. "But we don't know who or what brought them here, and for what purpose. We can't just shrug and hope for the best."
Biting his lip again, harder so he wouldn't speak, Sasuke wondered to himself why they acted as if Naruto and Sasuke were there for a family gathering, in that case. They sure let them roam free, though he supposed there was no point in trying to keep track of two ridiculously strong ninjas with teleportation techniques.
"The situation is unusual," Obito said, seemingly done with his paper-shuffling. "At least we did learn something from last time, so we're slightly better prepared for an emergency. For now, we can't do much more than wait and see if the mission gives us any clues."
"Let's review the questions marks before we call it a night," Mikoto suggested, Sasuke groaning inwardly.
He didn't want to stick around, but he also knew that the moment he was alone again wouldn't be pleasant. Already his fingertips were shaking lightly, his breathing shallow. He focused his gaze on the warm light coming from the lamp, steady unlike his thoughts. If anyone noticed they didn't comment, silent as Obito smoothed out the paper at the top of the pile.
"Well, the how and why are obvious questions, and I doubt we'd figure it out even if we sat here until morning. Most questions probably don't have much to do with the reason they're here, either."
Everyone nodded, Itachi the only one making his tiredness obvious as he rubbed at his eyes.
"I still want to know about Sasuke's eyes," Mikoto said, tapping the side of her cup. "Is it because of the Rinnegan? But if that was it I feel like he would have told us."
"Why don't you just ask him," Itachi sighed, but Sasuke frowned at the lamp as the other Sasuke's words from days earlier came to him.
"What about his eyes?" he asked, tensing up when all eyes turned on him.
"Well, why he said he's not going to lose his eyesight. Even Itachi is starting to feel it," Mikoto explained, gesturing towards the three people present that possessed Sharingan. "If we knew how to fix that then things wouldn't be so difficult for the clan."
"Oh," he said, "I thought you knew already."
When everyone gave him sharp looks to urge him on he rubbed at his arm, feeling uncomfortable at the memory of Sasuke's intense pain as he told him.
"I don't know if it's the explanation, but he's got Itachi's eyes, not his own."
His mother drew in a loud breath, but Itachi calmly took a sip of his tea.
"Explains a lot," his brother acknowledged the information with, meeting his eyes for once. "But not everything. And I think this proves that Sasuke is our best option to get more information out of them."
"Hold on a minute-" Sasuke started, but paused when his father's hand landed on his shoulder.
"Think of it as an intel mission, son. Get close to them, figure them out. If you think they're here to help us, then prove it with the information you can retrieve."
Sasuke stared at him. Were they serious? They brought him here to tell him that his ex might be an enemy plotting against Konoha, and then expect him to happily accept that, and then expect him to take on a vague mission to gather information about Naruto and Sasuke?
"You guys are so full of shit," he spat, pushing his chair back and standing up. "A month ago you wouldn't even let me go on a C-rank mission alone, and now you want me to figure out this whole mess?"
"Sasuke, that's not what we-" his mother tried, but he'd had enough.
"Spare it for someone who cares," he hissed at her, turning his back and stalking towards the door. "I'm not telling you anything."
Anger boiling inside him he threw the door open, half surprised when no one stopped him. He kept a brisk pace through the tunnels, fists clenching and unclenching as he muttered curses under his breath. It was too much. It was too, damn, much.
Maybe it was because of being woken up in the middle of the night, but he felt like the dinner he'd had hours ago was trying to come back up. He fisted his shirt tightly, swallowing against the bile rising in his throat. He didn't know what to think. It was such a surreal experience, his whole family suddenly expecting things from him, when they never had before. He especially didn't want to think about Menma being part of this.
It still hurt every time he thought of him, how easily he'd been dismissed. His mother had known about it, but she didn't even ask if he was feeling okay? If something had happened? Did they really only care about him when Konoha was in danger or…?
Biting viciously at his lips he bypassed his house and kept walking, the dark of the night enveloping him like a comforting blanket. There was a hint of rain in the air, but puddles had already gathered here and there so perhaps it had passed. His anger simmered down to a tight ball inside his stomach, heavy and hurting him numb. What was he supposed to do, anyway? If the Hokage ordered him he would do it, for sure. He didn't want to stop being a ninja, even if he was a pretty lousy one.
Oh, how he wished he'd never talked to Menma in the first place! His gut feeling had told him it was a bad idea, and yet…
And yet there had been something pulling him in, something that still scratched at him in that moment before waking up, in the silence of his mind when there was nothing else to distract him with. It was big and ugly and impossible to get rid of, leaving him short of breath even now as he forced his legs to keep moving.
I don't want this, he thought, scrubbing furiously at his chest. I want to forget about him, I want to hate him, but I can't tell them everything… I can't.
Stumbling on a stone step, he realized he'd reached his destination. Drawing in a shuddering breath he took the last steps, knocking with his chin tucked into his chest. He didn't want to be alone, but he also didn't want to be seen. Even as he contemplated turning around and leaving, the door opened to reveal a sleepy-looking Sakura, still in regular clothes.
"Sasuke?" she asked, surprised but quickly getting over it and pulling him inside. "Do you want some tea?"
Relieved, he nodded. He liked how he didn't have to explain himself with her, though he usually ended up doing that anyway.
This time, however, there would be no explanations he could give.
xxx
Naruto wasn't sure what it was that alerted him of Sasuke's lacking presence, but the bed had already gone cold by the time he fumbled around for his body. Instantly awake, he wasn't really that worried. He could feel him a little further away, somewhere outside. They'd gone to bed rather late, after sharing another dinner with Sasuke's family. He'd also apologized to Iruka for being gone so much, but luckily his clones seemed to do the trick well enough. It was a strange feeling to dispel them every night and be struck with all the things he'd done with the kids, and how much more he liked them each day. Once Sasuke left for the mission he'd definitely spend more time with them as his real self.
Stretching lazily, he contemplated checking on Sasuke to see what he was up to. Chances were it was either brooding or training, neither of which were particularly appealing. Of course, he would love to do some training together, but Sasuke's refusal to rest was starting to nip at his patience. There had to be something he could do to make him return to bed…
Offer him a good time?
Naruto frowned at Kurama's suggestion for all of three seconds before his face burned a hot red.
"Would you stop that?!" he hissed at the fox, rolling over and groaning into the pillow. "I'm trying really, really hard to keep my thoughts clean and you just make it worse all the time!"
Clean, Kurama scoffed. You've been a pervert even from before you met Jiraiya.
"Not a pervert," Naruto mumbled, but sighed at the obvious lie. "Fine, I just don't want to get a boner or something around him, and that is totally going to happen if you keep putting suggestions in my head!"
I'm pretty confident he wouldn't mind.
Holding his breath, Naruto allowed his mind to wander for a second. He'd been dangerously close to taking things a little further yesterday, because Sasuke had been so agreeable, so pliant as they kissed. The memory of his mouth on Sasuke's neck still tingled on his lips, and last night he hadn't dared ask for a goodnight kiss in case he couldn't stop. He hadn't wanted to stop, and that was the problem. It had felt like a dizzying rush of heat to his groin, stronger than anything he'd ever experienced before.
He wanted Sasuke, wanted to kiss him more, hold him closer, taste every patch of skin until he'd committed it to memory.
Oh, I'm sure he'd love to hear that.
"Dammit, stop mocking me already," he moaned, still suffocating against the pillow. "I'm suffering."
Well suffer more quietly, I was trying to sleep.
"Stupid fox," he muttered to himself, knowing full well that Kurama could hear him. "Stupid Sasuke, too."
Dragging himself off the bed he found a sweater, hoping it wasn't cold outside. There had been what looked like rain clouds gathering as they walked home, but if there was any rain during the night he'd missed it. He took his time as he slipped his shoes on in the hallway, walking slowly around the house once outside.
Sasuke was in the backyard, sitting on one of the swings and moving slowly back and forth, staring at the ground. Brooding it is, Naruto thought to himself with a sigh. It wasn't unusual for Sasuke to have episodes where he would just sit somewhere and stare at nothing until he'd sorted out whatever thoughts plagued him. Sometimes he would do it even with Naruto still around, ignoring him for hours at a time. It was happening less and less which Naruto was thankful for, because it was still a little creepy to see him with such a blank look on his face.
Figuring he might as well keep him company, Naruto sat down on the swing next to Sasuke, pushing at the sandy ground to gather up a bit of speed.
"Idiot," Sasuke said, giving him an irritated look. "You're making too much noise."
"Sorry!" he replied but made no move to slow down, continuing to kick at the ground and enjoying the air whipping at his face. "Didn't mean to interrupt your brooding."
"I wasn't brooding, I was thinking."
Sasuke had stopped, feet planted firmly on the ground as he watched Naruto. Probably judged him, too.
"About?"
When there was no immediate reply Naruto made a mental shrug and settled for swinging in silence, not feeling particularly curious at the moment. If Sasuke was talking to him then it couldn't be that bad, anyway. To his surprise, Sasuke held a hand out and grabbed his swing, not letting go until he'd stopped completely.
"I was thinking," he started, face scrunched up in annoyance, "that maybe it's not so terrible after all."
"What isn't?"
Sasuke was staring at him in silence, pale in the moonlight but with a shadow hiding the expression in his eyes. Even so Naruto's heart caught in his throat, hoping against his better judgement that this was related to the recent changes between them.
"Sasuke, come on. You can't say that and then not explain!"
"I already said everything I wanted to say."
"What!" Naruto jumped off the swing, grabbing the chains holding up Sasuke's and leaning over him. "You didn't even say what exactly it is that isn't so terrible."
"Well, take a guess!"
Locked in a staring competition, Naruto bit his cheek, wondering if he dared to. If he picked wrong, then most likely Sasuke would never tell him what he meant. Especially since he wanted to guess that this was related to the conversation they'd had after lunch.
It didn't help that he noticed how close they were, Sasuke's head tilted back to meet his gaze, knees bumping. While Sasuke had always been a handsome guy he also always looked better at night, features sharpened and the look in his eyes more intense, somehow.
He clenched his fingers around the cool metal of the chains, so that he wouldn't reach out and cup Sasuke's cheeks in his hands. He wanted to. Maybe he could? But if Sasuke was talking about something else-
"God, do I have to beat you over the head with it?" Sasuke sighed, standing up from the swing and twisting his fingers around the front of Naruto's sweater. "You just can't make it easy for me, can you?"
They were so close that Naruto could barely breathe, shivers running down his spine at Sasuke's assertiveness. His tongue felt heavy and sluggish, uncooperative as he opened his mouth to speak. All he managed to produce was a small noise in the back of his throat, because Sasuke was looking at him in a way that weakened his knees until they were almost quivering.
"I asked you a question, dobe."
Sasuke's voice was sweet against his lips, amused enough that Naruto found his own again to retaliate.
"You still haven't explained," he said, meaning for it to come out strong but sure it sounded more nervous than anything else.
"Fine," Sasuke huffed, eyes darting down to his lips and back up again. "Fine."
Entirely unprepared, Naruto froze the moment he felt Sasuke's mouth closing hotly over his. While it wasn't the first time Sasuke had kissed him and certainly not the first time they'd kissed at all, there was something that just felt different this time. It was a good kind of different though, spreading heat through his chest as Sasuke slanted his mouth and pressed more firmly against him.
"Did you get it yet?" Sasuke muttered against his lips, sending a somewhat unsure look at him before closing his eyes and kissing him once more.
He wasn't so sure he did because his mind was still reeling, trying to piece things together and coming up with an answer each time that just couldn't be true because Sasuke wanted him? Just plain wanted him, out of his free will, didn't mind this at all?
Impossible. It just couldn't be true, because what if he changed his mind in the morning? What if Naruto let go and poured everything into this and then had to take it back once the sun was up? He didn't want that, and so he didn't want to admit the spike of arousal in his groin when their hips connected and the amazing feeling of Sasuke's tongue licking along his bottom lip.
"Are you thinking too much again?" Sasuke asked once he seemed to realize his lack of enthusiasm, sounding annoyed over Naruto not reciprocating as expected.
"Definitely," he confessed, letting his hands slide down along the swing's chains until his forearms rested against Sasuke's hips. "I'm not a mind reader, you know."
"You didn't seem to have any problems with me kissing you earlier," Sasuke pointed out, releasing his shirt to instead place one palm flat against the middle of his chest. "So what's wrong now?"
Swallowing thickly, Naruto tried to figure out what it was, precisely, that bothered him so much.
"I'm not sure. It's just…" He took a deep breath, trying his best to ignore the sizzling heat wherever their bodies touched. "Is that really what you were thinking about?"
Slowly, Sasuke raised the hand not on Naruto's chest and pinched his nose.
"It was," he replied, still annoyed. "Why, is it so weird for me to think about the stuff you said?"
"I know you said you needed to think about it on your own," Naruto started, swatting Sasuke's hand off his nose. "But saying it's not terrible and then kissing me? I just wish I knew what you were thinking…"
Maybe Sasuke could tell that he was still feeling worried about everything, because he knocked his forehead against Naruto's and heaved a sigh.
"Are you still hung up on whether or not I'll leave?"
"I…" Naruto closed his eyes, trying to simply feel Sasuke's presence, let it steady him. He didn't know why he was feeling so distraught when Sasuke had reassured him again and again, but there wasn't so much he could do about it. "Sometimes this bad feeling just comes back, like things could change in the future. I don't think you'll leave it's just…"
"You're worried something will happen that changes my mind."
"Well yeah, but…" Squirming a little, Naruto fought with himself over whether or not to tell Sasuke, because even he wasn't so sure he could deal with his feelings. "It's more than wanting you to stay. And more than just kissing…"
He didn't know how to properly explain it, and Sasuke offered no verbal help. Even so it was enough that he stood there, foreheads linked and breathing in tune, not moving even at the threat of an emotional talk.
"…you really thought about kissing me?"
Expecting another sigh, what he got instead was a shove to the ground. Which he maybe should have expected but didn't, and so he found himself on his butt looking up at Sasuke's frown.
"I did think about it, and I wasn't going to tell you that I thought about it but I did. And it's just really frustrating that you need me to explain the same thing a hundred times over when I didn't want to talk about it at all."
Naruto stared at him, open-mouthed and wide-eyed, heart stuck in his throat.
"Sasuke."
"What."
"You just talked about your feelings!"
If looks could kill… but Naruto was too busy fighting the grin spreading across his face to take notice. He jumped up, grabbing Sasuke's face and pulling him close, ignoring his stumble and annoyance as he spun them in a circle once.
"You did it!"
"Naruto."
"I can't believe this! You actually made progress!"
"Naruto."
"I like it when you say my name."
The admittance left his mouth before his brain could filter it, and he snapped it shut and took a step back. Sasuke didn't seem to have noticed how breathless he'd sounded, how his fingertips quivered with the need to touch. While it was only a small step's distance between them he ached to close it, but when he'd said more than kissing…
He really meant everything.
The only problem was that he didn't know, exactly, what this everything contained.
"I know you like it, that's why I try not to use it."
It was such a Sasuke thing to say that he couldn't help but laugh, a surprised little sound that barely made it past his lips before he swallowed it back down.
"Of course," he joked, but there was no strength behind the words.
"Naruto," Sasuke said again, in a tone that left no room for discussion. "Right now, you're the one avoiding the subject."
"Because I thought you didn't want to talk about it."
He refused to meet Sasuke's eyes, crossing his arms instead and turning his back. It wasn't that he avoided the subject, he just wanted to hear Sasuke talk instead of him. That was it, wasn't it? He wanted to know what Sasuke was thinking so badly, wanted to peek into his head like when he accidentally touched him and let him feel the same thing…
Maybe then he'd understand what he was thinking himself, too.
"I don't. But I…" Sasuke shifted, then slowly stepped closer until he was right behind Naruto. "I also feel like I need to talk about it now."
"Then talk," Naruto whispered, holding his breath and feeling stiff all over.
When Sasuke shifted again it was obvious that he was struggling, and Naruto counted the seconds it took for him to start.
Twenty-seven.
"I figured you weren't going to stop kissing me unless I actually disliked it," he said, sounding awkward and rushed like he wanted it to be over already. "But I don't. Dislike it I mean. So it's okay if you don't stop."
Letting out the breath he'd been holding, Naruto slowly allowed his shoulders to relax as his arms unfolded. He closed his eyes, taking note of the promise of fresh rain in the air, goose bumps forming at his neck where Sasuke's gaze pierced him.
"It's okay," he repeated, slowly, the words feeling strange on his tongue.
"It is."
"What if-" He paused to wet his lips, one hand coming up to grip at the other arm, fingers clenching in the soft fabric of his sweater. "What if I want more than that?"
"…more than stopping?"
Worrying his bottom lip between teeth, Naruto tried to force his frantic heartbeat into something a little less telling of his half-panicked state of mind.
"Yeah," he breathed out, swallowing thickly. "Like, like continuing."
"…continuing?" Sasuke echoed in disbelief, and of course he would choose now to be dumb.
Whipping around he squeezed his eyes shut and, sure that his ears were burning, forced the words out before he choked on them.
"Like doing it."
He could feel Sasuke's blank stare even if he didn't see it, bouncing a little on his heels as he waited for the implication to click.
"Do what."
"It, Sasuke! It!"
Another deadpan stare this time and Naruto all but pulled his hair out as he stared at Sasuke in frustration.
"Oh my god, Sasuke, I'm talking about- I- I can't do this fuck," he sank down into a squat, burying his face in his hands, asking himself if he could just go live in a desert or something when Sasuke suddenly inhaled sharply.
"Wait," he said, squatting in front of Naruto and forcing his hands off his bright red face. "You're talking about sex."
Oh, life was painful, did he really deserve this? Sasuke with narrowed eyes, peering at him in the darkness and holding his poor wrists captive, throwing words around like Naruto wasn't suffering.
"No, I'm talking about sharing a bowl of ramen," he muttered under his breath, wishing Sasuke would just let him go already so he could die from shame in a corner somewhere.
"Knowing you, I wouldn't be surprised if you were," Sasuke told him drily, and why wasn't he freaking out?!
"Why aren't you, I mean, don't you have anything to say?" It was so difficult to ask, but confusion won over anxiety, especially when Sasuke stood up with hands casually in his pockets, snorting down at him.
"We're not having sex, moron."
Several things clicked at once in Naruto's poor, befuddled brain.
1. Sasuke never showed any interest in the porn he knew Naruto possessed.
2. He had probably never masturbated in his life.
3. Had he ever even had a wet dream or anything?
4. Sasuke never showed interest in girls (or guys) and probably never listened when this was a conversation topic.
5. Sasuke came from a clan who even married relatives in order to ensure the clan's survival, probably not allowing any relationships not approved by the clan leaders.
6. Did Sasuke even know what the word sex meant?
"Um," he said, "why not?"
Sasuke blinked down at him, and Naruto could clearly see the gears turn now that he was bathed in moonlight again. Still, he wore an expression like Naruto had grown an extra head (which was ridiculous because Naruto sucked at genjutsu) when he answered.
"Well, why would we?"
If anything, this only served to confuse Naruto more.
"Because it feels good? You usually want to when you- I mean, you seemed to kind of like it when I kissed your neck and you made that sound that time and…" trailing off he tried to pretend he hadn't stammered in embarrassment somewhere in the middle, clenching his fists over his thighs when Sasuke glared at him.
"I did not make a sound," he hissed, though it was obvious that if he knew what Naruto referred to then he had most definitely made one. "And this is stupid."
Naruto winced, feeling all his wet dreams shrivel up and cry because they'd never come true. Of course he wouldn't force Sasuke, but couldn't he be a little less soul-crushing with his rejection of the idea?
He'll come around, Kurama assured him, and Naruto threw an imaginary rock at him. A big one. Like a whole mountain.
"Let's go sleep, there's no point to this conversation."
With those harsh final words, Sasuke spun on his heels and stalked off, leaving Naruto to deal with his crushed dreams alone.
Ah well, you can still kiss him, Kurama tried to console him with. It didn't work.
"I'm fine," he said aloud, staring with glassy eyes at the fence surrounding the backyard, a steady drizzle starting to fall from the sky. "This is fine."
The rain wasn't enough to soak him, but it clung to his hair and clothes uncomfortably, causing him to shiver. Not long after there was the sound of a window creaking open, by the side of the house.
"Idiot," he heard Sasuke call, "get back here before you catch a cold. Even if you're too dumb to get sick."
Oh. A small smile took shape on his lips. Sure, Sasuke was crushing his fantasies but he was still Sasuke, he still cared, still wanted to kiss him. And maybe Sasuke would cuddle with him now, if he was lucky.
And maybe, later on, Sasuke would reconsider.
If he was lucky.
I feel like I made Charasuke's family so awful in this chapter, but consider this: they're all big shots in the village, while Charasuke is a smol barely-chuunin who never had to think about these things before. So while it doesn't excuse anything there's an explanation for all this, even though it was so hard to write that scene...
As for Sasuke on the topic of sex... *shrugs* he'll figure it out later on. Dw you'll get the sexy times eventually haha.
Next chapter I'm excited to let them try out their new outfits, and then Sasuke will be leaving for his mission... dun dun duuuun!
Anyway, will Charasuke ever get over Menma? And how will the so-we-meet-again between him and Sasuke go? Let's hope for the best *thumbs up*
Oh, and if you remember Muffin the cat, she still hasn't moved back home. And Bridget hates her a little more for each passing day. It's a struggle.