Swap meet
"So yeah, Luna suggested the name and I thought it kinda fit so Lina it is." Sam shrugged as best she could with one Lemy Loud sitting in her lap, trying not to wince as he pulled at his second mother's blonde strands.
"Really?" Lincoln deadpanned, sneaking a quick look at Luna's unflinching features before casting his eyes back to the pale blonde baby in his arms. "You know that name sounds really familiar…"
"Yeah she said you thought of it, along with some of the others for the… others." Sam trailed off, clearly uncomfortable as always when thinking about the Loud family's 'arrangement'.
"Oh, you know I was just thinking about why all the new babies had all names from that 'dream' I had." Lincoln's suspicious eyes turned back to Luna, whose lips revealed a slightly spiteful smirk.
"Well you know, maybe you just saw the future?" Luna teased, Lyra fussing with a juice box in her little hands. "You know, a bit of foresight like Lucy goes on about."
Luna may have once claimed to hold no grudge against Lincoln, but the white haired man had known better than to trust in the seeming endless chill of his elder sister since he was a boy. Whether she meant it vindictively or not the fact that he'd slept with her wife, conscious or not, had spawned resentment that was peaking through in little barbs here and there.
Like convincing several of their new mothers to name their children after the nightmare scenario he'd dreamt about before.
"Yeah, sure." For now he'd let her have her 'payback', he'd be sore if someone knocked up Ronnie Anne even if it was an accident. That and they were having a little picnic of sorts to help ease Sam into their arrangement before she let Lina stay at the house for the first time. Their band was due to leave in a few days, and Sam needed to wean herself away from her child for the first time.
Under the shade of the trees, with the with sunlight peeking through it would have been a waste to ruin it with hard questions anyway.
Lemy was squirming again, trying to reach up to touch Sam's face while babbling babyish sounds. "Looks like he missed you."
"Aww," Sam dragged her eyes from her blood daughter to play a little with her (Step? Surrogate?) son. "I missed you too little guy, still rocking on?"
Lemy bounced as a yes and held his hands out for a hug, which Sam granted and promptly got a wet kiss on the cheek.
"Wow, I think he's got a favourite." Luna remarked dryly, then looked down to Lyra. "How about you mini-me, did ya miss me?"
Lyra looked up briefly, then returned to sucking out her juice box nonplussed.
"Dang, cold as ice." Luna sighed.
"Wait till after she's had her juice," Lincoln advised. "Nothing gets between her and grape."
Luna gave him a flat look, then looked down at Lyra again who was sucking contently on her straw. For all the difference it made Luna may have well been a chair.
"For what it's worth, she ignores me too when she's-"
"I get it Linc, I really do." Luna shook her head. "It's just that we don't really get much time with her an' Lemy. We've gotta make the most of it before we hit the road again."
Lina started fussing a bit and well-trained instincts told him to carefully raise a bottle to her lips, which the infant helpfully avoided. Resisting an urge to eyeroll he instead put the bottle down for a moment and squeezed the teat to get a drop or two of warm formula milk ono his fingers, then traced the fluid onto Lina's lower lip.
Lina squirmed away for a second and nearly swiped it off with a onesie-clad hand, but he gently distracted the limbs long enough for a curious little tongue to poke out and taste the formula. Lina's blue eyes popped open, and she licked again and looked around for more. Lincoln quickly but carefully grabbed the bottle, squeezed the teat so more fluid rested on the tip and guided it to her face.
The infant looked at the bottle with wide eyes, but the white fluid must have been familiar as when the teat came in range she let it poke towards her mouth and opened just a little to taste it again. Her eyes widened and her hands tried to grasp the bottle as she started sucking hard.
"Careful there, I don't want this coming up again." Lincoln let the bottle rest so that she couldn't drink too fast and give herself stomach-ache.
He suddenly felt eyes on him, and a quick look confirmed both Sam and Luna were watching.
Luna whistled, "See Sam, told ya it'd be fine."
"I-I guess so." Sam's slightly sad tone prompted Lemy to pat at her cheek, gurgling something probably meant to be comforting. "She always fights a feeding, but you just…"
"It's practice," Lincoln assured her, still holding the bottle to prevent Lina's greed becoming regret. "If you want to take a shift or two you'll probably have it down too."
"We'regoingontheroadsoonnowaywecanhelp!" Luna blurted, and squeezed Lyra a bit as her Post Baby Torment Disorder kicked in. Lyra for her part glared up, then tossed her newly empty juice box at Luna's face.
"Ow!" Luna declared more in surprise than actual pain. "What- oh, sorry Lyra."
Lyra's less than pleased little face brooked no sympathy, even as the arms around her loosened.
"Let her steam for a minute, then tickle her stomach." Lincoln advised. "Not for more than a minute or she'll get grumpy again-"
"Yeah, yeah, I know how to take of my kid too Linc," Luna rolled her eyes but released one of her hands to make an 'ominous' tickling motion in Lyra's field of vision. Lyra gasped and hid her face in her own hands, but with a clear slit in her fingers showing a big brown eye and shy smile.
"Jeeze, you two are old hands at this aren't you?" Sam muttered, looking down to Lemy with an uncertain smile. "I have to admit, I've been feeling a little out of my depth here."
"So are we, we just hide it better."
A long awaited arrival.
The somewhat infamous Loud House had undergone many changes across the years. From the gradual expansion of Lori's generation of children, to Lily's long awaited departure signifying the final end of that era of shared childhood, to the sudden blossoming a new generation that rapidly filled the once empty bedrooms that had previously housed their mothers.
Today however was a more physical, and well overdue change.
"All right, that there should do it." Lana sighed as she tightened the last bolt. "Now for the test!"
A glove clad finger pressed down, and the fourth and final new toilet she'd installed flushed with ease.
"I'm so proud!" Her father declared with wet eyes, her mother nodding in rapid agreement.
"Seriously Lana I don't know how to thank you," Lincoln agreed. They were standing in the technically sixth bathroom of the house, albeit the new four were far smaller than the pre-existing two. Additionally only the two of the four that were added into the upper stories had compact showers within, the remaining settling for just the toilets and sinks.
The renovations had not been fun.
Some might have considered six bathrooms overkill even for this family. Those people would have been proven very wrong when the often fluctuating numbers would swell and lines would be forming for even this relative abundance of butt relief.
"Yeah I was here for the bathroom line too you know, no need to thank me." Lana sighed and started stripping off her gloves. "Well actually, if you had some of that leftover pie then-"
"BUUURP!" The blonde headed form of Lizy Loud issued a belch from the potty she sat on, somehow having obtained the last slice of apple pie from the night before.
"…. You know I can just make a new one. You've certainly earned it" Lynn Sr Laughed and rapidly made his way to the kitchen, his wife following to leave Lincoln, Lizy and Lana alone.
Excepting of course the many children hanging from his baby-harness. But that was a given when talking with the white-haired man now.
"Ahh, I guess she takes after me." Lana knelt down and ruffled the toddler's head with her sweaty hands, prompting a giggle. "I would've gone through garbage to get the last slice."
"You went through garbage for fun," Lincoln dryly remarked, unfastening one of the newer additions. Lina, Darna, Vikki and Marla were only a few months old and together formed a new generation of their own that was marginally less weird than their incestuous siblings.
They still needed to poop a lot though.
"See that Lina," Lincoln held his progeny with one hand and pointed at one of the many brown potties surrounding the toilet with the other, "you get to go in there when you're bigger. That way daddy gets to have clean hands for longer than ten minutes!"
Lina opened one sleepy eye and squirmed a bit.
Then burped.
Then vomited florescent green chunks over his smock, prompting several now very awake and sticky siblings to start crying.
"… I don't know what I was expecting." The tired man sighed.
"Hehe, da-da gwee!" Lizy pointed and laughed.