*shows up four months late and not even with starbucks*

Hello everyone! I was starting to get worried messages asking if I was dead (I reblog stuff daily on tumblr, you know, easy to check) so I figured I had really procrastinated this chapter long enough. I'd apologize but well, Yuri on Ice! is just that good so it's hard to get back into Naruto haha... Not abandoning this story though!

Kind of an emotional chapter, this one. Then again, that's nothing new haha. Hope you like it though!

Chapter 35: Never letting go

xxx

He really shouldn't be here. There were a lot of things he shouldn't do, but awkwardly hovering at the edge of a training field was certainly at the top of the list.

In fact, he was supposed to head out for another training session with Itachi, preparing for the upcoming mission (though Itachi still didn't like having to train him). And yet here he was, fingers digging into rough bark as he watched Sasuke wipe sweat off his brow, having completed yet another series of attacks. He needed to keep his fingers there, or he might feel them itch to wrap around Sasuke's, searching for injuries. Somehow he always managed to injure himself without noticing, always pretending he wasn't hurt.

It made him too easy to take advantage of. If Menma could hate himself more than he already did, well. Looking at Sasuke now, he might have to try. Jiraiya always used to say that he didn't try enough, and maybe he was right. He would sympathize with peeking on someone beautiful though, and so Menma comforted himself with that as he continued to watch.

Sasuke looked tired, the dark bags underneath his eyes telling of more than simple exhaustion from practice. And yet he seemed determined, only allowing himself quick breaks before continuing. His training was excessive, really, way past the point of actually doing any good. If Menma could, if he had any right, then he'd tell him to stop, take a shower, go sleep, anything but beat himself up over whatever was plaguing his mind.

He could take a guess, what it was about. He didn't want to believe that Sasuke spared him any thought, but it was useless to pretend he wouldn't. Sasuke was on his mind constantly, after all. Maddening was what it was, what he was, with the setting sun glistening in his hair and across his skin.

A rush of goose bumps went up his arms as Sasuke twisted midair, eyes flashing dark towards him. Did he notice him? If he did, he made no move to let Menma know. Instead he landed in a crouch, stumbling as he tried to stand up again.

"Damn it," he could hear Sasuke hiss, even as he pushed himself up with both hands on his quivering knees.

While Sasuke took deep breaths, Menma couldn't breathe at all. His stomach was twisting uncomfortably, shoulders aching from tension. Sasuke never worked this hard, not in the time he'd known him. It wasn't just that he was overworking himself, it was the hopelessness written all over his face. Menma recognized it, remembered all too well the quiet voice he'd used only weeks prior.

No matter how hard I try, I can't reach that level. It just doesn't work that way. It's fine the way it is, really. I just wish other people would think that, too.

There were things Menma wished he'd never been told, things Sasuke shouldn't have confided in him. He hated this, feeling completely useless. He knew what he'd done, knew why, and yet here he stood like some pathetic cheater wanting his ex back.

He dug his fingers harder into the tree, feeling the wood start to break into pieces underneath them, scratching at his skin. So many reasons not to be here and only one reason he was.

"Are you going to stand there forever?"

Startled, Menma met Sasuke's eyes for one breath-hitching moment.

"I…"

Sasuke looked away, still panting heavily, wiping harshly at his forehead with the back of his arm.

"I don't want to see you. Leave."

He should. He would, but Sasuke's voice quivered much like his knees earlier, and Menma swallowed down his self-loathing to do this one thing he'd set out to do.

"I didn't come to apologize," he started, swallowing against his dry throat and taking a few tentative steps closer, out of the slight cover of trees. "I just needed to…"

"Just needed to what?"

Eyes narrowed dangerously, Sasuke glared in the general direction of his feet rather than make eye contact again. His arms were crossed, moving up and down in a steady rhythm of quick breaths. He looked untouchable in that moment, bristling with tension unlike any time he'd seen him before – it only served to dig the hole in Menma's chest just that little bit deeper.

"See you," he finished, simply, hands limp by his sides when all he wanted-

"Well you can't," Sasuke snapped at him, still refusing to look at him again. "You can't see me."

"I know."

"So leave."

Neither moved. Menma stared at Sasuke's nose, at the hair curling with sweat atop his forehead, his lips pursed in disapproval. If he thought Sasuke hated him it would be so much easier, not this nauseating swirl in his throat, no cold sweat creeping up his sides and neck. If Sasuke hated him, he wouldn't need to do this, after all.

"It'll be the last time," he broke the silence with, and it was his turn to avert his gaze when Sasuke's head whipped up. "From now on, you can forget about me completely."

When Sasuke seemed about to object he held up a hand, watching from the corner of his eye how Sasuke's fists clenched in anger.

"And if I can't?" Sasuke gritted out through clenched teeth, clawing into Menma's carefully built wall like it was made of soft earth. "If I refuse?"

He shrugged, using all his willpower to go through with the movement, shoulders unwilling and stiff.

"That's it? A shrug?"

"Yeah, that's it."

Sasuke stared at him, gaze boring into Menma's head without mercy. Well. It wasn't as if he didn't deserve worse.

"Have fun on your mission," Sasuke eventually hissed, stalking past him and disappearing through the trees, leaving Menma behind in the sole company of this thoughts.

When he couldn't feel Sasuke's presence anymore, he heaved a sigh and sank down into a crouch, fingers carding shakily through his hair.

If only he-

If only.

xxx

Naruto was pacing inside his room. Sasuke had left an hour or so earlier, headed for a briefing on the mission, and he wondered what was taking him so long. It was already evening, only a short time left before Sasuke would have to leave at dawn. It wasn't weird that he wanted to spend that time with Sasuke, was it? He'd slept in this morning, wasting precious time already. To think the one day Sasuke lets him sleep uninterrupted, it's the one Naruto wants to wake up early on!

"Stupid bastard," he muttered to himself, rolling his neck to ease some of the tension there.

They'd bumped into Sakura earlier, asking her about Charasuke. Sasuke seemed a bit concerned that they hadn't seen him, and it hadn't helped that Sakura was kind of vague and only told them he wanted some time alone.

Strange.

It really was the least of his worries, however, and the anxious feeling that had gnawed at him the past few days seemed to only increase as time slowly went by. He didn't want to worry, but he'd spent so many years worrying over Sasuke that it came as second nature by now. Maybe he should just go with them. Why couldn't he? Well, besides the fact that Sasuke would never let him, there really wasn't anything stopping him.

So yeah, not an option.

"Stupid, stupid bastard."

A knock on the door brought him out of his cursing, and soon enough Iruka cracked it open to peek at him.

"Sasuke's still at the meeting?" he asked, and Naruto nodded miserably. "Well, then there's no excuse for you to not pick up all those books in the playroom."

Naruto made a face, but dutifully followed Iruka. He'd almost forgotten about the reading list he'd received from Asuna's teacher, the Jiraiya he'd hoped was the old perv but wasn't. Asuna had surprised him by picking out a bunch of them at the library and dumping them on him, cheerfully announcing that he could read them while Sasuke was gone.

The opposite of a motivational speech, but at least she tried.

Sasuke had leafed through some of them before the meeting, looking all high and mighty until Naruto called his bluff. Neither of them had been very good with academics, and their Academy days felt like a lifetime ago. As embarrassing as it was, Naruto probably would need a dictionary for some of the kanji in them, though he'd never let Sasuke know he was right. That is, if he did manage to try and read them.

It seemed slightly more appealing to wallow in self-pity for a few days.

Always so dramatic, Kurama huffed at him, and Naruto mimicked his words back at him in ridicule as he piled the books together.

"I think I have good reason to be," he muttered, quickly going through the motions to create a clone to help him carry the books.

How the hell had Asuna managed to get them all to the orphanage by herself? They weren't small books, either, some of them dusty and old with kanji in gold on their backs. History, political history, and what was the last thing she mentioned…

Legal systems of the world, Kurama helpfully reminded him.

"Hah, I guess you can be useful sometimes."

Oh, shut it.

What was a legal system anyway? Naruto wasn't too eager to find out, because he had a feeling he wouldn't understand and would need to go back to that weird teacher and ask.

I thought you were going to learn how to make our world better? Giving up already?

Naruto wasn't listening. He was pretty sure that Sasuke was on his way back, and so he hurried to shove all the books into a corner inside his room before hurrying back down to the front door.

"What took you so long?" he called out once Sasuke reached the wooden gate leading into the garden.

Of course, the only reply he got was an eye-roll.

"You said it wouldn't take long," he complained, blocking the doorway so that Sasuke was forced to look at him.

"I said I thought it wouldn't take long. It's been an hour at the most."

"Yeah? Well it felt longer."

Sasuke stared at him, clearly conveying without words just how annoying he thought Naruto was right now. All it took was a flat stare and slightly quirked eyebrow, and Naruto could feel himself bristling in defense.

"It really did feel longer," he added, but didn't resist when Sasuke pushed him into the hallway with a hand on his chest.

"Sure," Sasuke said, completely unsympathetic. "You could have read one of the books."

"Didn't feel like it."

Sasuke paused on his way to their room, throwing another look at him over his shoulder.

"What?" Naruto crossed his arms, turning his nose up but still trying to see Sasuke's face at the same time.

"Idiot," Sasuke sighed, and continued walking.

Naruto had half a mind to just walk the other way and see if Sasuke would follow, but knowing him he wouldn't. If there was one instance Sasuke was predictable, it was when it came to ignoring Naruto whenever he sulked.

Shuffling his feet in the doorway to his room, Naruto watched Sasuke search for his sleepwear in the bed, easily discarding his shirt once he found them crumpled underneath a pillow. It wouldn't be so bad if Sasuke slept shirtless, he thought, tilting his head slightly with narrowed eyes as Sasuke stretched his arms up to put the t-shirt on. His skin always looked so smooth, soft to the touch despite the muscles rippling underneath.

Weren't you supposed to sulk?

Biting his lip, Naruto didn't bother with a reply. He could multitask. Right?

"Well?" Sasuke had turned around, hand on his hip and looking way too good even as he mocked Naruto. "Aren't you going to get ready for bed?"

"No," he shot back, not sure why he disagreed.

"Suit yourself," Sasuke shrugged, and headed for the small bathroom.

He stood for another few seconds, then stalked over to the bed and shoved the covers around until he found the shirt and boxers he'd slept in. They were good for another night, right? On the other hand, maybe not.

Throwing them aside he grabbed some new clothes to sleep in, muttering angrily to himself as he changed.

"Are you going to be like that all night?" Sasuke hadn't closed the door to the bathroom, and now he stuck his head through the doorway, toothbrush in hand. "I'll go sleep with Charasuke in that case."

With some effort, Naruto kept his lips pressed into a thin line rather than start an argument. He plopped down on the bed instead, bouncing a few times before pulling his legs to his chest, chin resting on his knees. From there he had a rather good view of Sasuke's back as he returned to brushing his teeth. It also helped that his mouth fit into the space between his bare knees, keeping it shut for him.

A minute later Sasuke returned, looking at ease but fooling no one. Well, at least not fooling Naruto. There was tension at the corner of his mouth, in the small crease between his brows, but he didn't spare Naruto as much as a look as he climbed into bed and settled on his side.

It took Naruto about a minute of indecisiveness before he sighed and thought he might as well brush his teeth and get it over with. Once he'd taken care of his business, he stood for a while before the (still) cracked mirror and contemplated his options. He could go back to Sasuke and pretend to be cheerful, maybe bicker a little back and forth and go to sleep. Or well, he wasn't sure he actually could. It might actually be impossible, but he didn't want to be gloomy either. He just wanted to be with Sasuke before their inevitable separation…

There weren't really that many options open to him. They already talked things through, and he doubted Sasuke would be very happy if Naruto kept nagging him about being careful. It didn't feel right to do it, anyway, not when Sasuke went so far as to make a promise.

Leaning against the sink, he pressed his fingers into the ceramic until the knuckles whitened. If only he knew how to get this sense of foreboding out of his head! It was like he couldn't think of anything else, caught up in this loop of negative feelings and worry. Staring into his own reflection, he tried convincing himself that everything was going to be fine, that Sasuke would come back from the mission perfectly fine and they would find a solution to the whole different dimension thingy, and then they'd go home and-

Home. How long had it been since they came here, anyway? It couldn't be more than some weeks, but it felt like an eternity. It wasn't so bad, being here. Sure, they'd gotten off to a bit of a rough start, and it's not like it had been fun to see Sasuke suffer through whatever it was, and there were still a lot of question marks, but…

Okay, maybe a lot of things were pretty bad, but most people were nice, and Sasuke's family was here. That kind of weighed up a lot of the bad things, really, even if Sasuke hadn't seemed too happy about it at first. And, most importantly, people thought Naruto and Sasuke were in a relationship and didn't mind it, encouraged it even. Now that he thought about it, even through the squeezing feeling in his chest due to Sasuke's mission, there was a part of him that felt elated. Like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders, just by being able to admit to himself that Sasuke was more to him than a friend.

No one had ever suggested to Naruto back home that maybe, maybe, what he felt for Sasuke was closer to romantic love than friendship.

Of course, they'd just been kids when Sasuke left, and can you really be in love with someone at thirteen and spend years desperately chasing after them?

It wasn't romantic love in the sense that Naruto got butterflies in his stomach whenever he saw Sasuke, back then. It was more like… Like the fact that Sasuke was the first person to acknowledge him, to see Naruto and see him for real, made him more important than Naruto's own life. It was different from what Iruka had done for him, because Naruto and Iruka weren't equals. Iruka was his teacher, and of course he loved Iruka, but it hadn't been enough for some reason.

Sasuke just did things to him, at that age and later, and earlier too. Sasuke had always been there, like they were two rocks constantly scraping against each other until they were so worn that they fit together perfectly.

That's how it felt, really. Like they fit together, like the moment they connected there was simply no going back.

Maybe it wasn't romantic love at the beginning, maybe that came much later. Maybe it was an inevitable development, and no matter what had happened, if Sasuke had stayed or left or they had both died, Naruto would have still fallen in love.

He couldn't help but feel a little cheated, though. The whole time Sakura had been able to talk about her 'love' for Sasuke, and people just accepted it. Like her having a crush on him was somehow a better explanation than Naruto's whole world changing because of Sasuke. She wasn't questioned like he was. Why do you go so far for him? Just give up already! But Sakura? Maybe she wasn't encouraged to go after Sasuke, but it's not like people thought it was weird.

And, honestly, it wasn't long ago that someone said something along the lines of won't it be nice once Sasuke's off probation, so you can have some free time. As if seeing Sasuke wasn't the highlight of his day! As if Sasuke being moved to his own apartment wasn't the worst idea ever!

Here, they could sleep in the same bed and no one questioned it. Here, Sasuke felt safe in accepting his feelings. Here, Naruto could imagine going on a date.

"Naruto."

Sasuke's voice carried through the bathroom door, followed by the door creaking open.

"Sasuke."

"I could hear you thinking all the way over there."

In the mirror, Sasuke's reflection looked concerned and a little tense.

"Do you think," Naruto started, then backtracked his thoughts. "It's nothing."

He pushed off the sink and turned to face Sasuke, waiting for him to move aside. When he didn't, Naruto bit his lips and stared at the tiled walls instead, reluctant to talk since he would probably just end up saying the same things as last night.

Sasuke promised, he reminded himself. Not just to be careful, but also to return to Konoha with him. It would have to be enough. Whatever happened after that, well, Naruto would just have to believe it was going to work out.

"You complain that I take too long with my meeting, and then you shut yourself into the bathroom? I'm sure you thought of nothing."

"I don't want to argue," Naruto bit back, frowning at the wall.

"Then save us the time and tell me what's gotten you all upset now."

Naruto blinked in surprise, turning his face back towards Sasuke. The other man was leaning against the doorway, posture stiff like he was making an effort to stand still.

"I don't know how to explain it."

"Hm."

"It's true."

"You're the one always going on about me sharing my feelings, maybe you should try it yourself."

"Fine!" Exasperated, Naruto threw his hands out, the words leaving him in a rush. "You want to know what I was thinking? I was thinking that no one ever told me that being in love with you was an option until now! And that no one ever told Sakura that her crush on you was a dumb reason to risk her life, I mean she didn't even know you! But you being my best friend and most important person wasn't good enough, because apparently it's more acceptable to be a girl with a crush at thirteen than to be a guy having an actual deep bond with the person!"

"I-"

"And like, I don't know why it turned into the kind of love where I want to kiss you and stuff, but it did and I don't want to lose this feeling. I don't want to go back home if people will just tell me again to give you up."

He couldn't meet Sasuke's eyes as he told him this, staring at some point above his shoulder. He could feel his heart beat a painful rhythm against his ribs, heavy like lead. His fingers curled into fists, nails digging into his palms, wondering what Sasuke was going to say. It was probably not what he expected, and Naruto hadn't exactly wanted to think about it in the first place.

"They told you to give up…?"

Sasuke asked his question slowly, like he wasn't sure if he wanted to ask even as he did.

"Well, yeah. Obviously. You knew that."

"I thought they told Sakura too. I thought you thought her crush on me was valid."

"I don't know." Naruto sighed, sitting down on the edge of the bathtub. "Maybe they didn't take her as seriously, whatever. And I figured she felt something like how I felt, I guess. But it's like, I spent years dedicating my life to bringing you back to the village and people still act as if I wouldn't want to keep doing things for you? As if now that you're back, I should just move on with my life and not really care about you more than I care about my other friends."

"They probably just don't like that the future hokage is so interested in a former S-ranked criminal like me."

Narrowing his eyes, Naruto swallowed down the sour taste in his throat at Sasuke's words.

"You're not a former criminal, Sasuke."

"I was to them."

Locking eyes, Naruto knew that it was true. Just like the village had once seen Naruto as a monster, they saw Sasuke as someone who betrayed the village. It was so frustrating that reasons somehow didn't matter to the general public, and even to some of the people who should know better.

"Yeah, well, I'm not going to stop."

"And you think they won't be happy with that."

Naruto let out a snort, because surely Sasuke didn't think they would.

"You're right," Sasuke said, straightening up suddenly. "This isn't something we should talk about right now."

"You kind of made me talk about it."

"I said you were right, didn't I?"

Naruto smiled at that, even if it felt weaker than it usually would have been.

"You say a lot of things, it's just strange to agree."

Rolling his eyes, Sasuke closed the distance between them. He stopped close enough that Naruto had to strain in order to look up at him, and to his great surprise Sasuke put a hand behind his neck to support it.

"You mean, strange that you were right for once," Sasuke teased, and Naruto felt infinite times better, even as Sasuke's expression turned more serious again. "You'll think of something."

"I will?"

"You always do. You'll figure out what you want to do and then you'll do it, even if people don't like it."

Feeling his cheeks heat up at the unusual praise, Naruto wet his lips and carefully placed his hands by Sasuke's hips.

"I want you."

Sasuke seemed torn for a moment, eyes flickering over Naruto's face, thumb brushing absentmindedly underneath his ear.

"It's not as simple as that."

"It is right now."

He could feel the heat build between them, the slight tremor in the air as Sasuke stared deep into his eyes. Tightening his grip on Sasuke's hips, feeling his warmth through the thin shorts, Naruto found it hard to breathe. He wanted Sasuke always, and maybe it hadn't always been in the same way, but that didn't make it less true.

"You want me," Sasuke repeated, as if tasting the words on his tongue, considering them.

His thumb still stroked the skin under Naruto's ear, moving in small circles that sent sparks of pleasure down Naruto's spine.

"Um," was all Naruto could reply, throat all dried up, nose filled with Sasuke's scent, Sasuke's warmth under his hands…

He cleared his throat, but Sasuke seemed lost in thought and Naruto didn't dare to move. Sasuke's hand moved from his neck, fingertips trailing along his jawline and over his cheek, hesitating by his temple. The touch was soft, gentle even, and Naruto sucked in a breath when Sasuke sat down next to him. When Sasuke's hand fell from his face, Naruto caught it and laced their fingers together.

"What are you thinking about?" he asked, his voice sounding much too loud in the quiet of the bathroom.

"I'm not sure," Sasuke said, brows pulling together in a frown as he shifted uncomfortably. "But-"

He paused, and Naruto nervously squeezed his hand.

"But what?"

"You mentioned, before, that you wanted to put a teleportation mark on me…"

Eyes widening, Naruto felt his chin drop at the words.

"Are you saying that-?"

Sasuke's frown deepened, but he didn't look away.

"It's not that big of a deal," he muttered, and Naruto had to bite his cheek so he wouldn't disagree out loud.

Not a big deal? It was huge!

Almost trembling, Naruto swallowed the lump in his throat and shifted a little closer, catching Sasuke's other hand as well, mindful of the half-moon mark across its palm.

"Are you sure?" he asked, holding back a smile when Sasuke glared at him.

"Just don't put it someplace stupid."

Please put it on his ass, Kurama suggested, and Naruto almost choked.

"You don't want to choose the spot?" he asked, sure he was a little wild around the eyes as he tried very hard to not imagine touching Sasuke's ass.

Sasuke only shrugged, and Naruto took a few deep breaths to collect himself again, making a mental note of having a serious talk with Kurama about keeping his goddamn mouth shut.

"I can remove it after the mission, if you want," he added, hoping his voice didn't sound as shaky as he felt.

"Just pick somewhere," Sasuke sighed, rolling his eyes impatiently.

It wasn't a yes, and Naruto did a small cheer on the inside. It wasn't that he thought Sasuke needed supervision, he just hated the thought of not being able to get to Sasuke instantly if he needed it. He really hadn't expected Sasuke to agree, or even remember.

Running his eyes over Sasuke's upper body, he tried to decide on a good placement for it. Chest? Arm? Shoulder maybe? His gaze landed on the junction between Sasuke's left shoulder and neck, lingering there as he remembered a certain seal that once marred the pale skin.

"I picked a spot," he breathed, releasing Sasuke's hands. "Turn around?"

Sasuke did so silently, and Naruto used his fingertips to slowly push the t-shirt up Sasuke's back, hoping he couldn't feel the slight tremor in them.

"Is it okay?" he asked, caressing his shoulder blades lightly before pushing the shirt high enough.

"Is where okay?" Sasuke said drily, twisting his neck to meet Naruto's eyes.

"Here." Naruto pressed into the spot, noticing the way Sasuke's eyes widened in recognition.

"You-" Sasuke caught himself, quickly turning his head back. "It's fine. I don't care."

Something in Sasuke's tone told Naruto he did care, but hopefully it really was fine.

"Can you hold the shirt?"

Sasuke grabbed onto the fabric, tilting his head to the side to give him enough room. Naruto had to swallow down a spike of arousal at the sight, resisting the urge to smooth his hands up and down Sasuke's back and press his lips to the soft skin displayed so invitingly to him.

"Alright," he mumbled, placing his palm where he thought Orochimaru's curse seal had been.

The rush of chakra needed was faint, tickling his palm and leaving behind a permanent seal in black ink. When Naruto had started learning the technique he hadn't known what to pick for his seal, going through a large amount of suggestions (all rejected by Sasuke) until he'd finally come up with something that felt fitting enough. It had been Kurama's suggestion, really, and he could hear the fox snicker as he let his hand slide down to show the two kanji for "nine" and "wind" scrawled on Sasuke's skin.

"Done?"

Naruto scooted back, giving Sasuke room to pull the shirt down again.

"Do you want to try if it works?" Sasuke had stood up, giving him an expectant look.

"Oh, well, sure."

Nodding, Sasuke left the bathroom and walked over to stand by the window, as far from Naruto as possible but still inside the bedroom. Drawing in a breath, Naruto stood as well and quickly performed the technique, finding himself beside Sasuke a moment later.

"It worked."

"Obviously," Sasuke said, touching the mark underneath the shirt. "It's not going to fade, I suppose?"

Naruto shook his head, wondering if Sasuke had changed his mind.

"Let's sleep, then," he continued with a shrug, climbing into bed like nothing out of the ordinary had happened.

Hesitating only a moment, Naruto quickly turned the lights off and followed him. Once in bed he didn't have time to hesitate over what to do – touch Sasuke or not – because he'd barely slipped underneath the covers before Sasuke hovered above him.

"Sasuke, what-"

"No more talking."

Sasuke's fingers found his lips, pressing down on them before sliding along his jaw to cup his face. Heart pounding in his chest, Naruto grabbed the small of Sasuke's back to pull him closer, the length of his body brushing up against him.

"I can be quiet," Naruto breathed into Sasuke's mouth, feeling as if his entire body burned white-hot with want.

Sasuke didn't waste his time with a reply, instead dipping his head the last few millimeters until their mouths met properly, soft and warm as Naruto tightened his hold. It was slow at first, gradually increasing pressure, Naruto already failing to stay silent as Sasuke's hands combed through his hair.

"I don't think that counts as quiet," Sasuke murmured, and it would have been more effective as an insult if Sasuke's lips hadn't touched his with every formed syllable, slightly wet from the slide of their tongues.

"You're the one who's talking," he hissed back, thankful that the darkness hid his red cheeks.

It did not, however, hide Sasuke rolling his eyes. Even if he couldn't see it, Naruto could feel just how little Sasuke cared about the technicalities. Still, he couldn't find it in him to be irritated, not when Sasuke's fingers were doing such wonderful things to him, twirling his hair and pulling lightly. Not to mention how hard it was to not think about every part of their bodies that were connected, and how if he moved just a tiny bit he could push his hands underneath Sasuke's shirt and explore all that skin properly.

Once the idea formed in his mind he only held out a few seconds, biting his lower lip before pulling fabric aside. Sasuke felt hot underneath his fingertips, staying still as Naruto traced along his spine, up and down again. Bold when Sasuke didn't object, Naruto painted patterns across his back; circles and spirals and little taps like raindrops. He could feel Sasuke relax, slowly but surely softening until he was pliant against Naruto's body, one arm draped over his chest, face tucked into the crook of Naruto's neck.

Surely Sasuke could feel how his heart hammered against his ribcage, how his hands trembled as they moved. The sound of his heartbeat was so loud in his ears that it almost drowned out the smaller beat from that spot in his chest where he and Sasuke were connected, and he flattened his palms to stroke up Sasuke's back, pressing them into his warmth and thinking that maybe he could sense it through touch instead. He kept his hands there, just underneath Sasuke's shoulder blades, feeling him let out a slow breath as his ribcage moved. He concentrated on the movement, trying to calm his struggling heart by breathing in sync with Sasuke.

There was something so incredibly soothing to sharing body heat like this, simply laying so close to each other, listening to each other's hearts and breaths. Sasuke shifted, pulling one leg almost on top of Naruto's and adjusting the arm not slung over Naruto's chest, sighing softly into his neck once he was more comfortable. Naruto couldn't help but hold his breath, a painful squeeze inside his chest forming into a thick lump in his throat because Sasuke was holding on to him like he didn't want to be separated, either. Somehow that was worse than Naruto's own reluctance to be apart, and he folded his arms around Sasuke's back to hug him tight. Letting out a shaky breath he turned his face until both his nose and mouth pressed against the top of Sasuke's head, inhaling his scent like he might forget it over the course of a few days.

For an entire year he'd been able to keep Sasuke close, living the dream (sort of) of his thirteen year old self. They trained together, ate together, and more often than not slept in the same room even after Sasuke had moved into his own apartment. He wanted to keep doing that forever. There was just no way he could imagine a future where Sasuke wasn't by his side, because when Sasuke was there he felt like he mattered. Like life mattered. And maybe other people were right, that he cared too much about Sasuke, that he always went too far when it came to Sasuke, but it's not like he could help it. To Naruto, Sasuke was too much a part of his life, a part of his reasons for working harder, for getting up every time he fell, for facing the day with a bright smile that felt less and less forced the longer Sasuke stayed with him.

I need him, I want him, I'm never letting go.

Letting the thought fill him like a mantra, Naruto pressed his lips to Sasuke's hair, swallowing against the rawness in his throat.

Closing his eyes, he wished morning would never come.

So, a little more Menma POV, and it seems Naruto and Sasuke are getting slightly better at communicating. It's funny because when I opened up the document a couple of days ago to write the chapter, most of the first scene was already written but I had completely forgotten about it. I probably have a chapter plan somewhere but winging it works too. Right?

Anyway, I feel kind of bad for forcing them apart like this. Let's hope nothing bad happens. :)

Btw - if you haven't, go read my Yuri on Ice! fics bc they're much happier than this story lol. And I mean, it feels good to actually write fics for a quality anime for once, you know? *finger guns* (one of them is only on ao3 though, just so you know!)