Lunchtime:
"Mo sweet!" Lari demanded, attempting to wiggle out of her highchair to snatch another helping.
"Nah little dude, you've had yours already." Lana denied, holding the bowl of yogurt with soft fruit mix away. "Leave some for everyone else or you go in time out again."
"Nooo!"
Luan rolled her eyes, and instead returned her attention to the five she had spawned. "Okay girls, who wants come cultural enrichment! Geddit?"
The five looked at her with all the incomprehension near-toddlers could muster.
"B-because it's yogurt and it…"
Liby grabbed her bowl and dunked herself with it.
"Dang it."
Lucy meanwhile was proving her worth in gold as a single glare from her unseen eyes convinced Lani to keep her fingers to herself, even as Lupa gleefully slurped down her own snack. The troublemaker table was tamed before the Spooky Sister's silent admonishment.
Alas, the main table could claim no such success.
"Gibe sweet!" Lyra pulled at the plastic bowl. "You fat!"
"No fat!" Lemy protested, pulling back. "You mean!"
Some might have called putting the twins together a bad decision. All Lincoln would need to do would be to ask where else they could be put considering the state of the rest of the table and the critic would be hard pressed to answer him.
His parents had quickly claimed the currently resident 'half-breeds' (Lisa's term) for themselves. They knew that (with the exception of Darna, who somehow kept managing to stab herself in the face with a spoon) the seven semi-squalling infants were currently eating their own tummy-preferred mush. Their schizophrenic approach to eating, sometimes opening wide with eagerness only to suddenly refuse like they were offended was only a minor challenge compared to the older near toddlers gathered around the other end of the table.
There Lana, Lisa and Lincoln were attempting to corral the assorted children into eating only their portion of the sweet snack. As per usual the children were divvied up by sibling pairs, with Lisa handling two sets with the assistance of her own spawn. Lana with Lari and Loan, the former providing a contest while the latter quietly slurped down her treat before Lari got any ideas. Lincoln was assigned to the Loud/Sharp (as while Luna and Sam were both willing to hyphenate their names, they both agreed their awesomely alliterative appellations could not be sacrificed) twins.
In theory some of the pairs could be broken up for a new dynamic, but any of the twins would gradually get grouchier the longer they were apart anyway.
"Lyra?" Lincoln asked her, and the bright eyed girl instantly looked at him. "Did you already have yours?"
Lyra's eyes suddenly looked at the bowl instead of his.
"I think you did…"
"Nooo…"
He extended a hand and gently stroked her slightly sticky hair, "why don't you let Lemy have some too? If you eat his it'll be bad and you'll have to go in time out."
Lyra looked up with big eyes, mouth open in shock.
"But I don't want to do that, we have playtime soon and I know you want to play Xylophone right?"
Lyra nodded "yea…."
"Then let Lemy have his sweet, and we can all play together okay?" He stroked her hair again and Lyra reluctantly released the bowl with sticky fingers.
Alas, Lemy had spent the entire conversation riveted on getting his sweets back, and thus continued pulling with all the might his little body could muster. The sudden release of pulling force from the other end of the bowl could only result in one thing, and Lemy Loud was once again suddenly wearing his meal.
Unfortunately this time it was unplanned and so Luna's boy also now had yogurt in his eyes. But not to worry, his big salty tears quickly fixed that.
Bathtime:
Bathing the twenty odd children was actually far easier than one might expect.
The main bath attached to the original shower could fit up to five children at a time, and two parents could wash a semi-consenting child within a minute or two. Thus in a ten minute bath each child would get a minute of actual washing, then around nine of aquatic play before being towelled off to join whatever parent was on 'clean child' watch to make sure they didn't dirty up too fast again by playing with the 'dirty child' group.
The dirty children would be watched outside by two or three parents until the group shrunk enough that the clean children needed more than one parent to watch them in the living room. The process would continue until all the children were clean (enough).
It was a simple process, if prone to minor annoyances. But the conveyer belt of cleanliness had a major flaw:
They needed to get the children in there in the first place.
"No bah!" Lari protested.
"Ye no bah!" Lacy giggled, then promptly ran off with her half sister.
Lincoln pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. "Every time."
"Do not stress yourself elder male sibling unit," Lisa comforted. "The majority of the offspring remain cordoned off in the dining room, aside from Lari and Lacy Loud there should be a minimum of 'wrangling' as it were."
Her words spoke the truth; after many escape attempts post lunch the family had taken to installing retractable fences to the dining room entrances. In the process of lending credence to Luan's 'Baby Jail' assessment the fences would be closed off after the last child was added to the assorted tables and were roughly the waist height to the average adult (thus Lynn would still need to hop over them).
Alas Lari and Lacy were both just tall enough to grab some of the lower structural railing to climb over the fence, and while Lari would be easily captured the more athletic daughter of Lynn Loud Jr could outmanoeuvre almost anyone. Sure enough a glance revealed her retreating form scampering into the living room, where there was plenty of little places to escape an adult's hands from.
Lari however was still getting to her feet on the other side of the fence, and a single bound from a very done-with-today-Lana resulted in the pale-haired girl being captured post haste.
"Alright squirt, you know the penalty for running." Lana hopped back over with ease and deposited the suddenly struggling girl to her father's arms.
"Nooo! No wanna pee!" She gasped.
"I'm sorry Lari… we all want things we can't have," Lincoln replied in a grave voice and he sat down and moved his fingers to her belly.
It only took thirty seconds for the experienced fingers to reduce the protesting girl to despairing giggles, then a wet diaper as she couldn't help but urinate despite all the determination a year and a bit old could have.
This was the agreed upon punishment, for while no Loud child really liked their baths they also liked having a wet diaper even less and would go without a fight if it meant being changed. Thus any child that pulled a Lacy and ran wouldn't be put in time out, but rather whichever parent caught the scampering child would take them to Lincoln, whose well trained hands would reduce them to a ruined diaper in seconds.
Lacy knew this punishment well, and honestly he was starting to think she actually liked it for how often she ran. But either way there could be only one end to this defiance.
"Nooo, wet…" Lari whinged with a fat lip as she waddled off to sulk in a corner.
"Alright that's one down," Lynn Sr counted. "Whose turn is it to get Lynn's tyke?"
"I think we have bigger problems dear," Rita sighed.
Lincoln blinked and blearily looked over to the collection of children milling about post-feeding and noticed…
"Didn't we have more of these today?" He blinked again.
"You would be correct elder brother," Lisa dryly remarked, and then pointed to the open vent. There a bright green socked foot could be seen escaping deeper into the vents. "It would appear that we shall need to employ Lulu for retrieval."
Playtime:
Fortunately, it didn't take too long to find the escaped inmates. The fact that they had just eaten meant that within a few minutes they needed to use their potties, which resulted in a net neutrality as now there was very little to tickle out of the small criminals.
One of Lisa's cleaning robots was sent into the vents anyway, just in case they'd left a 'surprise' inside.
Now an hour after Lunch the children were freshly cleaned and ready to ruin it all with their much anticipated playtime, which they did with aplomb in the again cleared dining room.
Within that chamber of scattered toys and parents, the children happily played with and against each other.
In one corner Lupa appeared to be cackling while Lily's triplets did some weird, wobbling ritual dance around a half scared-half entranced Loan. Lari ran by giggling as she was chased by Lacy, who appeared to be wearing a strange monster costume with only her face exposed in its mouth, and Lacy in turn was pursued by a grinning Lizy with a small net. Lincoln internally questioned where she'd gotten the costume until the 'costume' blinked and Lincoln realised that she was in fact wearing Lulu like a stretchy cartoon dog from that show they liked.
Luan was given a brief break as Lisa took over her quintuplets, instructing them how make the most satisfyingly destructible wooden block structure determined by the scientific method. Or at least attempting to until they educated her in turn by including themselves in the foundation.
Then her.
Rita and Lynn Sr were occupied with the majority of the infants, mainly focusing on Darna as she found new ways to hurt herself in spite of logic, reason and round edges. At one point they had put a leash on her just to avoid accidents, but the infant had nearly lynched herself within minutes.
However one of the new infants wasn't with her fellow half breeds. Rather one Lina Sharp (apparently Lina 'Loud' made Luna slightly sour due to her origins) was currently sitting in her father's lap as he oversaw her fellow Loud/Sharp siblings in a casual 'music lesson'.
Lyra carefully dinged each key to her Xylophone as her father read out a music note from a booklet that Luna had made, on each key was a little paper with the corresponding note written on it. Meanwhile Lemy attempted some vocals.
"A…" Lincoln spoke and held the letter for a moment.
Lyra dutifully smacked the correct key with just a little too much force for the volume to match the rest they had been going for. Frowning she tried again, this time going just under.
"Ayyy!" Lemy tried to sing, but didn't really grasp what note he was supposed to be making.
Lina just clapped.
Lyra's face screwed up, but just as Lincoln thought she would throw the Xylophone aside she looked up. "Mo!"
"Oh, ah; G…".
This time she got it.
Missing mommy at Bedtime:
"So how are my girls doing?" Lori's voice was a bit tinny as it came through the tablet.
"Mama!" Lari gleefully declared, tugging Loan to see. "Mamamamamama!"
"Mama…" Loan touched at the tablet herself, a happy upturn to her mouth.
"They're happy to see you it seems," Lincoln dryly remarked, holding the tablet just in reach of the twins. He stood with his arms resting on their cot's raised enclosing fence, letting the light of the tablet bearing Lori Loud's visage wash over the two who shared the cot. In turn, allowing the camera to get a good view of the blonde duo.
Across the room some of the other adults were with their assigned sibling pairs, bearing their tablets and reunions in hand. As the event would progress, they would finish up and go to each nursery to let the kids say goodnight to their parents through the tablets before shutting off the lights and either settling down for their night's watch (if it was their night) or going downstairs for a few hours of Anything But Dealing With the Babies.
"I bet they are," Lori laughed. "Oh I missed you two! But were you good for Lincoln?"
"Yeaaa," Lari nodded.
"Oo wincoln?" Loan asked in visible confusion.
"… Daddy." Lori sighed. "Daddy with white hair."
"Dada!" Lari confirmed and pointed at the man behind the tablet.
"Dada?" Loan looked up. "Dada wincoln?"
"Yes, that Daddy is Lincoln." Lori sounded positively defeated.
Lari looked up past the tablet with an accusing glare. "Dada make me pee!"
"Did you run off again?"
Lari looked at something else. "Nooo…"
"Did you really though?"
"… yea."
Lori had brought over the twins as she and Bobby needed to travel for work for a week, and while her non-incestuous offspring were more than welcome to stay (Lincoln alone desperately wanted to just be an Uncle rather than Uncle-Dad for once), they were taken in by the Casagrande clan to avoid even further overcrowding. Lincoln understood, they were near capacity even for them this week, but it would have been nice to see his nieces and nephews.
"… and was Daddy nice to you too?" Lincoln turned back in just in time for the verdict.
"Dada make me pee!"
"Apart from that."
"… nmmm." Lari folded her arms and pouted.
"I'll put that down as a firm 'okay' then," Lori sounded amused. "And what about you Loan?"
Loan looked up at Lincoln, then back down to the tablet, but only fidgeted.
"Don't feel too bad Lincoln," Lori assured him. "She's like that with everyone."
There was a muted sound from the tablet, and suddenly the twins became active.
"Pa! Pa!" Lari crowed. "Wan Papa!"
Loan nodded fervently.
Lori sounded more confused than hurt by their sudden enthusiasm. "… You've had Lincoln all day though-"
"No Dada! Papa!" Lari confirmed.
Alas, Loan felt the need to clarify. "Brown Dada!"
Lincoln froze, and Lori was evidently horrified into silence.
Bobby could suddenly be heard laughing his arse off through the tablet.
After another fifteen minutes of Bobby bonding with Lori's twins (much more easily than they did with him Lincoln somewhat sourly noted, is this what Luna feels like?) and another ten after switching to the Casagrande's so they could exchange babble with their siblings, it was Lacy and Lynn III's turn.
"So mini-me, did you give your Dad some good cardio?"
Lacy rapidly nodded with an open mouthed-grin.
"I should have known it was you behind this," Lincoln groaned.
"You're such a good girl," Lynn ignored him. "Daddy could get fat if you don't exercise him, so make sure you give him a workout every day!"
"Dang it Lynn!"
Again, ignored. "And how's my nerd doin'? Have you been exercising your brain?"
Lynn III gazed up at her mother with a grin and pulled out some paper with crudely drawn letters on them, "I do these!"
"No really?" Lynn gasped. "No I don't think so, Lisa did them for you didn't she?"
"No!" The child protest with a grin.
"Daddy then?"
"Nooo!"
"Well it can't have been you, they're too good for someone so little!"
"I'm big!"
"Is she big Lincoln?"
Lincoln appraised the smaller child. "She could be bigger."
Lacy giggled, "Lynn little!"
Lincoln supressed a grin. "Aww, she's like you in more than name!"
"Shut it Stincoln."
The final set for the night were Luna and Sam's children, the three now shared a cot and as a result Lina would often end up as a toy between the twins. Tonight Lemy had her sitting on him in imitation of his father earlier, while Lyra had somehow managed to sneak the Xylophone into the cot.
"Hi little dudes, did ya' miss Momtie and… Mom?"
"I'm pretty sure I'm just Mom," Sam's voice confirmed. "Unless my mom cheated and we're sisters or something."
"Ew, not gonna think about that." Luna's voice gagged.
The three gathered in the soft light nonetheless, Lemy taking centre stage with Lina on his lap.
"Mama!" He laughed.
"He's been missing you today," Lincoln confirmed. "Didn't even want to eat his breakfast."
"Aww, sorry little dude; we missed you too!" Luna's voice faltered. "I promise we'll come home soon."
Lemy nodded and Lina noticed the screen, and reached up while making bubbles.
"Hello Lina," Sam's voice hushed a bit as if she was worried she'd scare her away. "Did you miss me?"
Lemy actually stood up and used his little arms to try and lift Lina up, Lincoln lowered the screen a bit so he didn't fall over and little Lina touched the screen. She batted at it and made a sad gurgle.
"I think that's a yes," Lincoln said quietly. "She eats and plays, but she still misses you Sam."
"I-I do too." Sam swallowed. "I'm just gonna take a minute-"
"Sure babe, I'll take over here for a bit."
"… Is she going to be alright?"
"It's not your fault, but she's feeling the separation." Luna admonished. "Maybe don't poke that wound if ya can help it."
"That's fair-"
Lyra banged at the Xylophone.
Repressing an eyeroll Lincoln drew the tablet back so the camera view included Lyra again, Lemy and Lina sitting down as Lemy's legs gave in and they fussed together. "I think Lyra has something to show you."
True to his word Lyra tapped a key, letting out a brief 'A' note, then a longer 'G', then a 'C' and so on. She her timing was awful and most of the notes she played were off by volume compared to each other. As she went on she forgot more and more of the notes until the 'composition' was unrecognisable as the song Luna had wrote for her.
Lincoln was tempted to try and guide her, but some sniffling from the tablet gave him pause. Lemy could see the screen clearly though.
"Mama sad!" He gasped.
"No, Mama very happy," Luna's wet voice affirmed. "Mama proud."
A/N:
In regards to Lynn III being a girl; LLFM's epilogue only stated that Lynn and Lola would most likely have both a boy and a girl. I looked around for a while and couldn't find a son of Lynn in any of the standard Sin Kids forums that really appealed to me. So there was either the option of using a character I didn't care for or making my own.
Using a character I don't care for isn't what I consider conductive to the writing process, and I severely dislike making OC's of my own, preferring to draw upon existing characters where I can.
So I looked over the last chapter of LLFM and the details I had established in this fic, noted that it was never said that Lynn's other child absolutely had to be male and so I went with the established female Lynn III after all. I may yet do the same for Lola's other child, but we'll see.
We can just say that in universe, the Loud's proclivities towards females overpowered even Lisa's methods :P
As always, if you spot any grammar and/or spelling errors please let me know and thank you for reading and (hopefully) reviewing.