Exercise Motivation

It was morning, and it had begun again.

Not the usual chaos, though that well underway; but the plague of noise that emitted from Lincoln Loud's now much hated phone.

"Baby! Baby! Baby! OOO!" The infuriatingly empty lyrics resounded through Lincoln's room, much to the cheery joy of the siblings three who sat on the sad man's bed.

"Baybee! Baybee!" Lyra cheered.

"Bayby booo!" Lemy 'danced' with a clumsy bob up and down.

Lina just made a happy gurgle, clad in her white bunny onesie.

Lincoln stared into the ceiling, trying to figure out exactly how this life had come to this. Was it the goggles? The girl's choice to keep their progeny rather than abort Lisa's experiment? The clearest cause was him caving to their demands to become the permanent stay at home parent along with Lisa (who spent most of time in the lab anyway).

But really?

It was that night he didn't remember. Specifically (since there were evidently many such nights), the one where he'd slept with one Sam Sharp, that in turn led to the birth of the smallest of the sibling trio currently bouncing on his bed. But not because Lina was a thing now as opposed to a vision in a nightmare (though he was pretty sure that Lina had had his white hair rather than the pale blonde the real thing sported).

It was because it had soured Luna. Being upset someone slept with your wife was something he understood, even if neither Sam or he had actually been a state to properly think about it. Now Luna, even if she seemed mostly fine was still slightly bitter about it. It wasn't really something that effected their relationship that much, Luna was still his big sister and acted more or less as she did before Lina's birth around him.

But every now and then something would come up to remind him that she was still pissed on some level. Maybe it would be a verbal barb, 'forgetting' to let him know ahead of time that the Loud/Sharp trio would need care that week or in this case…

"Baby! Baby! Baby! OOOOO!"

Collaborating with Luan (who apparently blamed him for making her look like a Burpin' Burger addict for half a year) to rig his phone to use that fucking song for everything from his ringtone to alarm. If he got a call, if he wanted to listen to some music, if he set an alarm; anything that used sound that wasn't a call or a video would be that damned song that had been passé when he was five.

To make it worse it was apparently hardcoded into the thing now, so unless he could get a new one (utterly impossible with their current budget) or get Lisa to spend some of her precious lab time unfucking whatever Luan had fucked (utterly improbable, since Lisa had made it clear that she didn't care) he was stuck with it. So here he was, his phone's alarm mocking him into wakefulness and three of his children 'dancing' along to the tune of his nightmares.

"Baby!" Lemy laughed and fell on his backside, prompting Lina to giggle.

For as an extra layer to his torment, the siblings three loved the poppy tune from the second they heard it and would not only dance and sing to it to best of their limited abilities, but would hound him for it whenever he was in sight. Conversely the rest of the children rapidly grew sick of the song and would throw a fit if they were in the same room (he could empathise).

Thus it was that he was assigned Lyra, Lemy and Lina as their main caretaker until whenever they finally stopped demanding the brain-numbingly repetitive song, the remaining eleven children in the house would instead by cared for jointly by the five other adults currently in the house (and Lisa if they could get her out of her lab...). He'd protested that he could just leave the phone with someone else, but no one else wanted to deal with the burden of that nonsense.

So here he was; six in the morning and awakened by a combination of bobbing and 'singing' infants and the tune from hell that would inspire them to squeal like demons if taken away. His only consolation; the saved image on the tablet of Luna's face when he'd shown her that her prank had infected her kids with Pop music.

"Hey Lincoln!" Luan grinned as she spotted the very grumpy man marching down the stairs, trio of Loud Spawn strapped into his now usual smock. Giggling a bit she handed him a hot mug of sweetened coffee. "I heard your theme song on the way down-

"Yes Luan I get the joke about the lyrics," his eye twitched. "If you don't stop laughing I'm adding Lani to your table."

Luan maintained her mirthful expression, but clamped down on the giggles to return to her own table. There, among her sisters Libby gave him a wary look, fearful of the song that might issue from his direction at any moment…

Luckily for her, any demands for the tune of terror were quickly silenced as one Lynn Loud came bounding through the front door, holding it open so that a Lacy Loud could come quickly running in after her.

"Alright kids, that's a minute and thirty-seven seconds for Lacy!" Lynn ruffled Lacy's light brown hair with one hand, "and a…."

She waited a few seconds and Lynn the Third wobbled in on still unsteady legs, lacking her sisters fast developing co-ordination. "Two minutes for Lynn III! Good going for both on you!"

Lincoln resisted urge to sigh in exasperation, "are you sure you should be pushing them at their age Lynn?"

Lynn turned to him with a flat expression, "I know what I'm doing Stincoln, maybe don't tell me how to parent?"

Lincoln winced "I wasn't- I mean…" he breathed through his nose. "I'm sorry, I just-"

Lynn waved him off, "it's fine, just let me- trust me to do this and we'll be good; okay?"

Lincoln give a slight nod. It was a conversation he was reluctantly becoming used to, different people parented differently and with the arrangement they had some kind of clash was inevitable.

It didn't mean that he liked them though.

Lacy however was irrepressible as always; "hi Dada!" She bounced up, visibly sweaty but happy. "I FAST!"

"Your sure are," Lincoln ruffled her hair like her mother had. "I think you might be faster than Mommy was at your age!"

Lacy gasped, and looked up to her mother's slightly conflicted expression with a grin. "REALLY?"

Lynn gave him a quick glare, but spoke through a frozen smile, "maybe…."

Lacy squealed and startling babbling at her mother, while Lincoln quickly scooped up Lynn III. "You want some juice?"

The still breathing a bit hard toddler gave a little nod, and with a quick glance to confirm with Lynn Lincoln took her over to the kitchen table where there were some high chairs open next to Libby. There he plopped her in and moved transferred some increasingly hungry children from his smock to the others, leaving one open so Lacy would be able to be next to her twin. He quickly poured Lynn III some juice from a pitcher into her favourite sippy cup and let the sweaty girl drink as deep as the cup would allow.

With his frame freed from children for a moment, he looked to see that Luan and his father were still feeding the children, then quickly started divesting himself of the child-bearing gear.

He could at least eat breakfast sans equipment,

First came off the weighted backpack, still yet unfilled with assorted supplies. Then the smock with its innumerable adjustable harnesses, but as it came up it started pulling his shirt up with it, exposing his stomach to anyone who was looking.

Which happened to include Lynn, bringing in Lacy for her juice and breakfast who promptly whistled. "Dang Stincoln, when did you start working out!"

Lincoln dropped the smock over the backpack and pushed them both under the table, before turning to her in confusion. "I haven't, what are you on about?"

"Dada swole!" Lacy pointed at him with glee.

Not bothering to ask where Lynn's daughter would have learnt that word he looked to the woman herself for clarification.

"Just pick up your shirt again," she motioned up.

Shrugging, Lincoln did so, exposing his thin but otherwise unimpressive stomach.

"Aww, Dada no swole…" Lacy sadly corrected.

But Lynn's eyes narrowed with suspicion. The angle where his waist went into his stomach was a bit off for someone letting just themselves go… "hey Lincoln, do me a favour and clench your stomach for a moment."

"… Okay?" Lincoln did so, and suddenly his stomach revealed a reasonable set of abs swelling beneath a thin layer of flesh.

"Dada swole again!"

"Yeah okay I get it now," Lynn nodded to herself, dropping the babbling Lacy into the empty high chair. Then moved over to Lincoln who was feeling around his stomach for whatever had caught the girl's attention and tracing the outline of his muscles with surprise.

She suddenly grabbed his arm and felt around for a moment, giving it a squeeze to confirm the density with a nod. She quickly looked around at the kids and came to a conclusion; "say Lincoln, how much would you say that baby-harness thing you're always wearing weighs?"

"Ermm," Lincoln dropped the shirt down as he thought it over. "It depends on how many we have over the day, but I guess… well a lot of pounds at this point since these little guys are always getting bigger."

Lynn nodded and looked over to the now mostly toddler filled table. The smock was adjustable; but it's upper limit was around ten or so kids at this point, coupling that with the counter-weight and the constant carrying and lifting with the kids Lincoln was doing…

"Dang Linc, I think you've been doing a workout regime of your own after all!" She laughed. "All that lifting and sweatin' you've been doing has paid off!"

"I think you might be right," he grinned, clenching his stomach muscles to properly feel them again, for once in his life he wasn't a weed! But… "how come I can't really feel or see anything unless I'm clenching?"

"It's not like you're a body builder so you're not getting movie-star muscles and your body fat covers what's there," Lynn bluntly replied. "Diet is kinda important for this stuff, and you like to snack so no perma-abs for you. You could have more muscle than Ace Savvy and still not see 'em if you don't cut down."

"Dang it," Lincoln sighed, but perked up; "well it's still better than nothing! Now I can show…"

Right. Ronnie still wasn't talking to him.

"Better than nothing sure," Lynn agreed. "But you know what would be better; if you really got into shape! Lucky for you, I'm the expert in getting anyone fit!"

Lincoln considered this for a whole second, "no."

"Let's get- wait what?"

"Yeah no Lynn, I'm pretty sure that I'd be wiped out if I tried one of your regimes before I had to take care of all of these," he pointed at the small army of children. "If I do it now, we're going to need someone taking care of me instead of the other way around."

"It's fine," Lily chirped as she walked into the kitchen. "I can always lend a hand for-"

"I see your point," Lynn backtracked, seeing the obvious results of a helpless Lincoln in Lily's range. "But I'm not gonna go full force on ya, just a little jogging here and there to get the blood pumping and some of that fat off. You'll get a little puffed the first few times, but give it a month and Ronnie'll be begging to touch the goods!"

Lincoln's expression flickered.

"I think that getting out of the house could do you good dear, you spend all your time here now and it's not healthy." Rita admonished as she came in with a freshly changed Lupa. "Some regular cardio isn't going to hurt you anyway."

"Well I mean, I guess it could work…" Lincoln folded. "But who is going to take care of these three? I mean; I don't mind escaping the song but-"

"Luan would be happy to I'm sure," Rita smiled as she plopped Lupa into a high chair, Luan suddenly freezing mid-feeding. "I'm sure her girls would love to spend some time with Auntie Lily as well!"

"Dang, you still haven't gotten that thing off your phone?" Lynn whistled. "Just leave it here, I don't want any of it."

In hindsight Lincoln might have wanted to stick with the trio and their song anyway. It had less chance of actually killing him than Lynn's 'light' regime.

5 miles of jogging to the nearest park, then some pushups, situps and squats until Lynn got tired (no, not until he got tired, Lynn) and then they could take a rest. Now the tired, very sweaty and wishing for death man could only collapse into the grass while Lynn poured some water over him to try and revive his desiccated form.

"Sorry Lincoln, guess I overdid it," Lynn sheepishly admitted. "I saw the muscles and forgot that you've not really been doing any cardio."

"W-why does that matter?" He wheezed.

"Because your cardio is basically your stamina," Lynn simplified. "There's a lot more to it than that, but jogging and then a good workout isn't the greatest for first timers."

"Good to know…" Lincoln gasped and raised a shaky hand to take the liquid of life from Lynn's hand, before practically drowning himself with it to slake his thirst.

"Well now we both do, I'll take it easier next time-" Lynn focussed off in the distance as something caught her eye, and then grinned down at him. "Hey Linc, you wanna see Ronnie again right?"

The still breathless Lincoln nodded. Lynn pointed to the side, and with a twist of his head he could see a collection of forms at a picnic table, a quick blink to refocus revealed the signature colours of Ronnie Anne Santiago…

And Luna with Sam?

With a still woozy head he collected himself and pushed up to standing to confirm that yes; Ronnie was there in a Royal woods park, his sister and her wife apparently there to just have brunch or something. Unsure as to what to do, Luna apparently spotted him and waved him over.

"Well, Luna's seen us now; no point in dawdling," Lynn shrugged and started marching over. Not wanting to be left standing alone, he trudged behind her with legs heavy from both fatigue and trepidation.

"Mornin' dudes, you getting a workout in?" Luna asked with an oddly smug smile, Ronnie too for some reason…

"Yeah, Linc's been at home a lot for the past year or so I thought he could use a jog." Lynn nodded to the grass stained man. "How come you're out here? I thought the band was on tour for another week."

"Sully and Mazzy are having a tiff," Luna shrugged. "So you know, that means schedule changes and stuff until they sort themselves out."

"And we kinda missed Royal Woods," Sam sighed. "It's good to be home for a bit, we were going to head down later to see the kids and see if we can't… sort some things out ourselves."

Lincoln found his voice and gave Luna a hollow look. "They've been playing that song non-stop. If they grow up liking Pop more than Rock you know whose fault it is."

Luna's smile shook a bit but rallied. "Yeah well they'll probably grow out of it, hey Ronnie you wanna say hi?"

Ronnie looked up at Lincoln with a now uncommon happiness, "hey Linc, nice seein' you around."

Lincoln shifted a bit, suddenly aware that he probably stank and every inch of the thin white shirt that made up the top of his 'workout gear' was covered in sweat and bits of grass. "Hey Ronnie."

"Me and Ronnie Anne met up last night," Luna interjected. "Funny how things lined up."

"Yeah, just popped into Royal Woods for… something and Luna and Sam were there," Ronnie slurped some coffee from a Styrofoam cup. "It had been while, so we just talked for a while and they were nice enough to let me stay at their hotel room since it was getting late."

"You stayed in their room?" Lincoln queried.

Ronnie raised the cup to her lips and drank, looking him in the eyes.

A glance at Luna confirmed her gleeful anticipation. "Yeah bruv, Ronnie and us spent the night. Then we went down here for a bit of breakfast before partin' ways."

It sounded like a date.

Lincoln knew it was a silly conclusion, Ronnie had never shown any lesbian tendencies that he knew of and even if she had an interest in Luna and/or Sam it wasn't really his business anymore. But the smug expressions from the two women struck something in him that made the conclusion ring true.

He glanced at Sam for a moment, and the blonde woman looked away with a guilty shyness.

Damn it.

"… I'm sure you had a lot to talk about." Lincoln said neutrally.

It made sense. Ronnie never made a secret of how she felt about his new family life, so if she wanted to get back at him, sleeping with someone close to him would sure be a way to do it. As for his sister, he 'took' something of Luna's so she 'took' something of his, even if Ronnie wasn't really 'his' anymore. Even if she 'forgave' him or 'didn't blame' him, she probably wanted to get even.

The pieces lined up.

He'd be lying if he said it didn't sting. But he was an adult, so he would at least try to act like one.

"Yeah, you know how things go," Ronnie examined him, apparently looking for something. "You start in one place…"

"End up in another, you'd be surprised where things stop." Luna finished.

"Well I'm sure you three found something to bond over," he stiffly replied. "Anyway, we've got to get going, kids to take care of you know."

Lynn blinked, "we can take a few minutes to-"

"Lisa's been in the lab for too long to be safe," Lincoln countered. "I want to get home soon in case we need to pull her out of something again."

"Dang it, okay you guys have fun I guess," Lynn sighed.

"Oh we will," Ronnie waved away. "We will-"

Ah that moment the wind suddenly picked up, blowing hairs astray and causing Lincoln to shudder as his sweat slicked form turned cold. Frowning he picked at his shirt, seeing that it had stuck to him but he was suddenly distracted from the discomfort by a quiet snickering to his left.

Lynn was giggling at something, a quick look back to the table revealed what.

There Ronnie, Sam and Luna were staring at him. Specifically at his torso, where muscles swollen by a recent workout were outlined by his white and grass stained shirt. It actually looked far more impressive than if he'd simply taken it off, because now every crease and swell was clear; and from the distinct blush on Sam's cheeks and Ronnie's change in breath the ladies certainly appreciated it.

Luna looked between them and him, suddenly not so smug.

"Yeah girls, have fun." Lincoln smiled, letting himself be childish for just a moment before he started jogging back to the house. "Have lots of fun."

Thus it was that Lincoln Loud would find a new motivation to keep up Lynn's training regime. And whenever his muscles screamed for mercy that would never come from Lynn he would bring that moment back to his mind to squeeze out just a bit more.

Everyone likes being appreciated after all.