Chapter 10: A Tense Conversation on All Fronts
Jack Starbright had to say she was relieved when the boys came home. The relief was quickly replaced by worry when she noticed both of them were not speaking to each other. She knew there was an argument about to commence. The family stubbornness on both sides gave her a headache. She could only stay out of it and hope they resolved their problems with each other soon. Jack hoped Alex didn't take this too hard or Ian for that matter- for a man who wasn't around much, he cared an awful lot about his nephew.
Alex knew he had to stay calm, but it didn't make actually doing it any easier. When he finished unpacking, he heard a knock on the door of his room that he knew from listening to the hallway was Ian. The man walked in a handed him the knife handle-first and closed the door. His uncle's sighed. "Alex, you left the hotel room without asking first, you deliberately went into danger, and you went off again with no adult and no weapon. Tell me one good reason why any of that happened and I might consider not grounding you for the next three years." Alex did have good reasons for most of it, but he was stopped when he began to open his mouth. "You are ten, Alex. I was worried. You know about my work for the bank and you don't seem to care at all that I just killed people. The teachers at school are concerned with your home life- yes, I got copies of those calls, by the way. What is going on with you?" Alex was taken aback by the sheer emotion in the man's outburst. The Ian he knew before wouldn't have said half of those things. At least he kept his voice down; Jack would be worried as it was without the extra knowledge.
Alex began; he knew that he couldn't completely lie to the man, so he decided to tell him part of the truth. "From the time I was eight, I knew something was off. I ignored it as long as I could because I wanted to believe you. Then, I couldn't. I had to accept the fact that you lied to me for almost my whole life. I had to accept that I was in danger because I knew and because of whom I am and whatever it is you are or were trying to turn me into. I have to lie for the rest of my life as it is and I hate lying. I may have you, but that is when you are around. What choice did I have, but to become self-reliant? As for the runs, I wanted to see the worst parts of town in case you had an "accident" and needed rescuing. I don't scare you for fun." Alex was rather hurt by the implication, not to mention he had had years and multiple missions to let his resentment build.
Ian knew the accusations were probably more than fair. He was now feeling pretty guilty; he didn't want Alex to feel abandoned. He also didn't want to leave his nephew hanging ever again. "I'm sorry. I never wanted you to feel like I didn't care. The lessons and all of it were so that if you needed to run, you could. My job is dangerous and attachments are even more. I want you to live and when my brother, your father, died I let fear and pain get in the way. The truth is, you are the only person I have left and- and I love you, more than anything." Ian knew it was true the minute he said it. Maybe it was John's death. Maybe it was Alex. Maybe the job was changing him. He didn't know what had changed his mind, but Britain could burn as long as he had Alex.
Alex, despite feeling considerably warmer towards his uncle knew he had to finish now or he wasn't going to. "Ian, I love you too and right now, I'm afraid. Afraid you won't come back. Afraid you'll be injured or worse on that job of yours. I know you can't or won't quit, but- just try not to die, ok?" He already knew what happened if his uncle did die on assignment. That had been the domino that collapsed his world. It was his worst fear, along with his other friends being targeted. "I realized a long time ago that if you died and Jack died, I wouldn't care what happened to me anymore and that I couldn't take the pain of it." That had been true.
If the SCORPIA sniper hadn't shot him, he may very well have done it himself. He had been contemplating it since Egypt, since fire had consumed the last person he cared about and his heart along with it. If he concentrated enough, he could still see the flames, feel the heat on his skin, and hear the single shot that rang out from his gun into Julius Grief's head. The pleasure at seeing Razim engulfed in salt, fearing for the first time in his life. The fury at being water boarded by the very agency he had helped twice. Alex Rider had died in Egypt. Something colder had taken his place, something more like Yassen or Ian than himself. He knew now that if someone tried to hurt his family, he would go to the nearest weapons dealer, buy a gun, and use that fancy SCORPIA training to put three bullets in very fatal spots. The organizations he had worked for considered him dangerous and they had been quite right. He returned to the present. Ian was studying him carefully.
Ian was now feeling worried. He knew it was hypocritical to expect Alex to care less about him than he did Alex, but at the same time he wasn't sure if he should be proud or worried that Alex had his priorities so well thought out. It wasn't the reaction he had been expecting, nor was it really the reaction of a child. Alex acted more like an adult now, very small adult who might still eat ice cream for breakfast. Ian noted the determination and something almost desperate in his expression before Alex was closed off again. He decided to make this productive. "Since we both had a hand in this, you aren't going to be in trouble for a millennium, but since you disregarded your surroundings you get to spend the week with me in public doing a people-watching stint. We both need to brush up on observing our surroundings anyway." Alex could barely suppress a groan. Watching normal people and trained operatives was boring as shit, at the same time it was valuable experience. He decided not to complain; it was the least morally objectionable thing he had been asked to do by anyone in black ops- and wasn't that just sad? Both men decided that the sappy stuff was done for the moment.
Jack was almost immediately surprised by the lack of yelling. Normally, when they disagreed both Riders were very vocal about said disagreement. She hoped it wasn't something irreversible and permanent- Alex would be devastated, even if the stubborn idiot would never admit it. Ian Rider, she wasn't sure about. The man was damn evasive about everything. She sometimes wanted to strangle the man for leaving so often. Didn't he know how much Alex cared about him? Jack had watched him try hard to win the man's approval. In her opinion it was borderline neglect, but Alex had refused outright to consider it. She just tried to be there for him; he was like the adorable little brother she had always wanted. If Ian wasn't down in five minutes, she was going up to check on them. Soon after, the door opened and she heard Ian go to his room. Jack decided to see Alex, now.
When she got upstairs, she took one look at Alex and wondered what had happened to make him look so haunted. She had worried about that vacation to South America. It was right next to a warzone- the news had been talking about an explosion in some jungle base for days now. The same jungle Alex and Ian had been staying near. Jack hoped Alex had been, far, far away from that nasty explosion. She noticed he was slimmer, in a way that hinted at more physical activity. Honestly, what was going through that uncle of his' head? Alex was fit enough and she would bet some offhand comment of his had led to the new morning exercise routine that reminded her of some sort of military qualifications she had once looked up for a high school project. "IS THAT A KNIFE!?" She shrieked before she could help herself. Alex quickly grabbed said pointy object and it disappeared somewhere. "Um...no." Alex mentally cursed. He had been a top operative for MI6 and his lying to Jack was still pointless- she saw right through it, not that he had gotten terribly creative. He had gotten careless, but he was tired. Would this day ever end? He was almost seeing double. Jack practically hissed. "Try again, Alex." Damn, she was scary and he had met crazy megalomaniacs. Alex sighed. "Ian gave it to me. He taught me how to not stab myself and die horribly; it is in a sheath, and it is for self-defense." Jack managed to look even more terrifying. She was going to murder Ian Rider. Who gave a ten-year-old and fucking knife? "Ok, Alex. Goodnight sweetie." He went to sleep.
She decided to at least be polite. Jack knocked on the door of the office. "Come in, Ms. Starbright." Ian had heard her outburst. He decided to see how this played out. "Sorry to bother you, but you gave a ten-year-old a knife. What were you thinking? He could easily have died or had an accident or heaven forbid killed someone." Ian decided to cut her off before she got too wound up. She was genuinely concerned for his nephew, at least. "Alex is very mature for his age, Ms. Starbright. I trust him to handle a weapon responsibly. Furthermore, we can both agree that Alex being able to defend himself from the many dangers of the world is a good thing." He honestly didn't see the issue here, really. This was Alex they were talking about. "Ian, you can't be serious. He is a normal boy, how much danger could he possibly be in?" He wanted to laugh; Alex was so much more. Ian sighed. "My job places him in danger as a target." That was actually true, from a certain point of view- just not the whole truth. "Fine, but Ian?" "Yes, Ms. Starbright?" "If he gets hurt, I know who to blame." Any more than Alex had already been hurt by him, anyway. "Goodnight, Ms. Starbright." "Good night, Mr. Rider." She all but stomped from the room. There was no reasoning with that man sometimes.
Ian was puzzled. He still didn't see the issue. Maybe he should take a look at those childcare books again? Maybe it was an American thing? He knew some of them were more passionate about children not having or having weapons. He decided to keep the firearms training disguised as archery lessons. Honestly, it was a practical gift that would come in handy for Alex's life. He was teaching Alex to use it, so that wouldn't be an issue for long. Ian was sure Alex's natural secrecy and abhorrence of senseless violence would prevent incident where others were concerned. A knife and a gun were practical, useful things in a dangerous world, particularly since he had brought Alex into his arena. He had a responsibility to make sure Alex could survive and play with the best of them. Ian decided to get some sleep before he thought about it too long. It would only give him a headache anyway, trying to understand the point of view of the normal society he left behind long ago. Alex would be prepared for anything, even if it killed him to train his nephew into his own grim worldview.
The next morning saw Alex up at the crack of dawn for his morning run. He thought it was prudent, considering that people- watching involved a lot of sitting and talking. When he got back, Jack was waiting for him in the kitchen. It didn't look like Ian was up yet. She looked slightly tense, so he decided to ask what was wrong. "Morning, Jack. Is something wrong?" "Alex, I'm worried about you. You seem…different. Your uncle gave you a knife. Is something going on?" "Nothing in particular, Jack." He didn't want to worry her. "Alex, I don't particularly agree with his decision. Is there anything you want to talk about?" Alex had to keep the fond smile off of his face. "No thank you, Jack." She sighed and made him breakfast.
Jack was trying. She really was. The only thing to do now was hope whatever was going on with those two didn't end badly. She would just keep doing her work and try to be there for Alex. Jack knew there was only so much she could do and frankly she would rather stay here with Alex and help him as best she could. Maybe she could invite Tom over? Alex liked him and if it was a guy thing, then maybe he could talk with his friend.
Ian Rider came down the stairs to find Alex and Jack eating their breakfast. "Morning, Ms. Starbright, Alex. Go for your morning run already?" Alex knew the man could totally tell he had already run and showered. "Yes, Ian. When do we head out?" He hoped it was soon. Jack seemed to tense every time Ian walked into a room. Alex wondered what they were arguing about. "After breakfast." Jack held back a sigh, so much for that plan. Ian noticed Starbright was still tense about that knife. He put it out of his mind and switched to observing Alex. Alex was doing a wonderful job moving like a normal person; Ian knew he could move much more silently and gracefully when he wanted to, in a way that resembled and dancer's walk. Alex seemed to be eating properly to, with almost surgical precision and good manners even early in the morning. Now he had to decide on a location. The park? He had had enough of the outside wilderness for a while. He decided a shopping street would do- plenty of people and reflective surfaces to check.