The Truth of Lisa's Nonsense

"Okay kids, you wanna hear Mommies rock out!?" Luna grinned, holding her old but much loved purple guitar, her wife bearing her own blue instrument by her side.

"Yea!" Lemy hopped up with a grin, Lyra next to him nodded with a bob. Lina wiggled in a vaguely approving manner in Lincoln's lap as the man held a teething ring close to her lips, knowing well her habit of chucking the thing when the mood took her, only to cry when it wasn't nearby.

"Well you heard the little man Lunes," Sam gripped her guitar. "One. Two! Three! FOUR!"

The duo cracked out a first of what would be several songs, Sam primarily on the instrumentals while Luna handled the vocals for the rock songs. Then the duo switched over for the more melodic tunes to appeal to Lyra's tastes.

All the while the siblings three bobbed and watched as per their preference, their father behind them to make sure everyone stayed put in their little garage concert.

Meanwhile in what was once again her combined room and laboratory, Lisa Loud observed the six through the now well and truly ancient camera system Luan had once used for comedic video collection. Switching to another monitor she spied Lynn Sr pointedly watching Lily's triplets to make sure they didn't leave their time out, while Rita attempted to clean out whatever had turned Leia's hair purple.

Switching again there was the sight of Lynn screaming in the shower as Lulu engaged her recent hobby of 'tickling' her aunts face, while Lacy and Lynn III watched on in some mix of horror and laughter.

"I was wondering where the screaming was coming from," Lily chirped from behind the scientist, startling her.

"Ahem!" Lisa collected herself as she turned around in her chair. "I see that you have taken up our elder sister's habit of sudden unexpected appearances."

Lily shrugged, "I don't think so, I just wanted to come see you."

"My security was active."

Lily looked at the security apparatus, which normally consisted of a collection of machinery, a steel door and box of electronics connected to the main room entrance. The steel box core containing the electronics normally stood affixed at Lisa's eye level a little to the right of the door, was now clearly open and the once orderly interior bore melted circuits and rewired connections.

"Dang it S-12…" Lisa groaned into her hand.

"Aww, I guess she wanted to play with Auntie Lynn!" Lily gushed. "It's nice that they're getting along so well."

"Indeed," Lisa gave the screen showing Lynn attempting to de-Lulu her face another glance. "I'm not entirely certain our elder sister is quite as enthused however."

"She'll come around," Lily dismissed. "So, what'cha doing?"

Across the years they had known each other (so literally all of Lily's life) Lisa had grown to understand that there little point in trying to shoo the younger girl away. If she somehow succeeded now by conventional means Lily would return twice as annoyingly cheery and persistent as before, and should Lisa employ 'inventive' means to dissuade the youngest sister she would subject to another multi-hour lecture on ethics by her own parental units before being assigned to the troublemaker children for a full week.

So it was with only a little reluctance that Lisa pushed her chair to the side so that Lily could see into the monitor for herself. "I have merely been monitoring the status of some my ongoing projects-"

"The kids?" Lily peeked down. "Aww, how are they doing? Anything interesting going on-"

"I have not confirmed or denied any supernatural presence around your own progeny or Lucy's," The scientist flatly replied. "Please stop asking."

"Well okay…" Lily kicked at nothing, then brightened. "But what about everyone else? I bet they're doing fun stuff!"

Lisa resisted the urge to roll her eyes, and simply indicated to the screen again; Lynn still desperately attempting to remove the abomination from her face with a minimum of skin loss.

"S-12 is currently demonstrating her recently developed proboscis upon Lynn, seemingly both to enjoy her digestive enzymes and to 'play' with Lynn as Luan put it."

"Lynn was complaining about that earlier too," Lily mused. "I wonder why she doesn't do it to anyone else?"

"Lynn's reaction seems to entertain her," Lisa shrugged. "I would also hypothesise that the nutritious mix that Lynn employs after her workouts may be ideal for S-12's growth needs- but regardless it does indicate that her more 'interesting' features are presenting largely as according to my expectations, if not entirely in the manner that they would."

Lisa clicked over, swapping the screen bearing the 'playtime' between Lulu Loud and her aunt for a few smaller ones displaying other occupied rooms in the house.

"Luan is currently attempting to entertain her quintuplets, with moderate success." True to Lisa's word, Luan Loud was standing before her assorted spawn in what had once been her and Luna's room. The Comedienne was wearing one of her silly moustaches she'd dug out from the garage as well as a freshly restored Mr Coconuts while her five giggled at her. "The five are progressing largely as expected of the unaltered specimins-"

"Wait!" Lily's brows came together in confusion. "I thought Luan's were all-"

"Modified?" Lisa quired, Lily nodded. "No, Luan's progeny are part of the Loud control group, I can only attribute their exceptional quantity to our natural familial fertility. Likewise for your own triplets- please stop making that expression."

Lily blinked, then sheepishly wiped the drool off her face. "Sorry Leese, I was just… remembering labour-"

"If I had realised how my serum would interact with your pre-existing tendencies I would have reconsidered introducing it." Lisa shook her head. "Regardless, so long as you don't attempt to rape-"

"I apologised!" The blonde girl squeaked. "And I was still coming down off the-"

"Your excuses have been heard and dismissed," Lisa admonished with narrowed eyes. "And that is all I will say on the matter."

"Hmm," Lily thought. "Well, I'm kind of curious about the others so…"

"Your own progeny are in time out as overseen by our Paternal Unit," Lisa summarised. "All three of which are unaltered and progressing…. Admittedly unusually, but I have no further data to hypothesis from at this time so I will not waste time with wild speculation-"

Lily grinned, "Lucy said they could be magi-"

"Nonsense aside," Lisa glared at her interruption-prone sister. "Of the current subjects assigned to the household; Lynn's progeny are currently observing her interactions with S-12. Leia and her sister are currently being decontaminated by our Maternal Unit, and the Loud/Sharp siblings are currently suffering a 'deprogramming' attempt after Luna and Luan's latest 'prank' resulted in a Pop-music addiction in all three of their progeny."

"Is it working?"

Lisa flicked over to garage camera.

"Want BABY!" Lyra protested.

"BABY BOO!" Lemy agreed.

"Evidently it will require a more persistent approach," Lisa clicked off that particular camera.

Lily looked over each windowed box with awe, "wow… so you just keep an eye on everyone up here?"

"'Up here'? don't be ridiculous," Lisa sniffed, before typing in something into her keyboard. Instantly a series of menus popped up, most of which were spreadsheet documents and other things Lily would probably need Lisa to decipher anyway. Shooting the older girl a questioning look, the slightly smug scientist indicated to one of the menu's that read 'live observation'.

Following her lead, Lily grabbed Lisa's old fashioned mouse and clicked upon it; opening a new window with the audio enabled.

"You're gonna be so popular when you grow up!" Leni giggled on the screen, a 'live feed' sign in the bottom right of the window. In her lap a seafoam-green-onesie-clad Lyle Loud sat with a happy expression as his mother brushed his hair.

"Just you wait- I bet that all the guys and girls will love you and your silky smooth hair!"

Lily clicked off the live feed and read through the rest of the 'live observation' tabs, and realised they all listed the current addresses of every Loud sibling- as well at least a few of those of the mothers of Lincoln's other children. If she had to guess from the sheer number…

"As you can see," Lisa informed. "I 'keep an eye' on all of the subjects' development, not just those currently residing within this household.

Lily whistled, "wow, but why though? I mean- it's kind of creepy but you usually have a reason so…"

The scientist clicked over and this time revealed a spreadsheet listing various progeny by subject number, special/normal status, mother and personal name. Additionally were little tabs that revealed any new developments and interesting notes. "Each of the subjects are part of my running experiment-"

Lily titled her head in confusion, "I didn't think that anyone let you do that on them?"

"They aren't aware of this one," Lisa pushed her glasses up the bridge of her nose. "I trust that you can keep a secret?"

Lily leaned down conspiratorially and smiled at her. "You wanna show off to me don't you?"

"… A not inaccurate-"

"Yes!" Lily jumped up, "of course you can; share! Share! Share!"

"Very well," Lisa cleared her throat. "While I have been forbidden from more overt experimentation, my initial goal was never to simply gain subjects for my shorter term projects. Instead; I had a number of lesser hypothesis alongside one main one that could only be satisfied by…"

"Knocking us all up with Linky's jizz?" Lily queried.

"… Essentially yes," Lisa sighed. "Upon observing our siblings and our combined remarkable pool of diverse talents, I was struck by how unfortunate it was that such a group's genetic materials could not be combined without eventually inducing probable defects and torment upon some of the resulting progeny.

But!" Lisa raised a finger; "I quickly reconsidered, because that was under traditional thought and a true futurist is not constrained by such things. Rather consider myself; the resident genius capable of overcoming any problem with sufficient resources, the 'Lisa Ex Machina' if you will- ARGHH!"

"Sorry," Lily put the squirt bottle back into her dress pocket. "Lori said we have to spray you if you start calling yourself that again."

"Dang- backwate-" Lisa spluttered. "Fine, my point was that I could theoretically remove any defects from a developing embryo as they arise- furthermore I could almost certainly prevent them from occurring in the first place if I used a device to select and alter sperm cells before they were used in conception.

It upon this line of thought that it occurred to me that if I were to already be altering sperm cells for this purpose, there was also no reason that the same method could not be used to enhance them!"

"Ooh!" Lily looked over the spreadsheet, "is that what the 'specials' are? Enhanced?"

"Precisely," Lisa confirmed. "Though in some cases, heavier alterations were employed to test other theories-"

"THIS ISN'T FUNNY!" Lynn's sour scream came through the thin walls.

"Usually not to S-12's extent though." Lisa pointedly turned her chair away from Lynn's voice. "I came to the conclusion that a device for such purposes was easily viable given my capabilities, furthermore our family provided a diverse set of remarkable genes and a multitude of candidates for incubation. Meanwhile our elder brother has a remarkably healthy base set of genetics to serve as a known constant for 'material', and could even said to be above average in many fields despite lacking the sheer ability we have in a select few.

I considered the implications if I could somehow realise the idea; The most pressing issue with incest is that it results in genetically based deformities. If that is resolved via gene tinkering then all of the progeny who are 'treated' will likely have no defects in them, but 'normal' people would. Therefore the primary concern with incest would logically now reversed, as outbreeding would be less ethical to the potential child's development than inbreeding with a genetically 'perfect' relative.

Furthermore the concentration of 'talents' in one gene pool would make them exponentially more likely to appear and progress with further generations as seen with standard 'line breeding'. But far, far, more effectively with the assistance of gene selection…"

Lisa stood and stared into Lily's eyes, brining a twinge of unease to the younger woman's stomach. "But why stop there? Just how far could I push the gene therapy? What is the limit of humanity under these circumstances!?"

"Lulu…" Lily breathred. "That's why-"

"Yes!" Lisa gleefully exclaimed. "Lulu is the prime example of that section of the experiment!" The smile dipped a bit, and the scientist suddenly started pacing. "But no scientist worth their salt simply conducts an experiment without a control group, and there were already at least two broad experiments I wished to run with Lulu-esque 'superhumans' and gene-selected Louds. So many subjects would be needed for all groups….

And I needed a delivery method that would endear me to the mothers regardless. I needed something that could appeal to any woman who had even the slightest maternal inclination that might lead her to keep an unplanned child to make themselves open to my proposal-"

"You mean to trick them right?" Lily corrected her, "I mean; I wouldn't have minded but-"

"Your point is noted," Lisa dryly replied. "Regardless; it was for that purpose that the goggles were made- a delivery method that incorporated the same sperm-modifying device for a direct injection!"

"Hmm, you know I think you're just waaaay into incest and don't want to admit it," Lily concluded. "But yeah; I'm not telling the others that- they'd be pretty mad!"

"Indeed," Lisa looked to her. "But I can assure you that it has all worked out well, and imagine if the second generation were subject to the same conditions-"

"They might actually lynch you if you get the kids involved," Lily warned, only for her warning to fall on deaf ears.

"Or a third!?" Lisa eagerly expelled. "What would happen if they interbred with the normal population? Would the 'corrected' genes remain so? What effect would upbringing in differing environments have?

So many questions to be pursued over decades and I would be able to witness and intervene in the grand project that was their lives at any point!

A complete reversal of societal normality, a possible new hyper talented sub-section of humanity and a true new human species with more advanced abilities! All of these things could be achieved!"

"Hmm," Lily thumbed the bottle in her dress pocket. "You're sounding a bit… you know-"

Lisa expression suddenly lost every ounce of enthusiasm and her eyes bored into the blonde girl.

"If you compare me to a Nazi as Lynn has then I will kick you out this instant."

Lily floundered, "oh, I-"

"NSDAP's vile ideology has been given a mountain of undue credit for scientific breakthroughs and achievements in pop culture," Lisa snapped. "But any true scientist, no; anyone who bothers to research their 'methodology' would know that they were complete garbage that embraced pseudoscience and politics over actual science, humanity, sensibility and sanity. Glazial-Kosmogonie alone…."

Lily backed off as the scientist devolved into a rant and carefully closed the lab door lest the salty sister notice her escape. Downstairs the kitchen door opened to allow Lincoln, Luna, Sam and their 'singing' kids into the house trailing behind them.

Already tired and near broken by Lynn's pyshcial torment, the exhausted man flopped into a chair and looked at the ceiling as the children milled around the table.

"Baby! Baby!" Lemy cheered.

"C'mon dudes," Luna moaned. "You liked the rock right?"

"Yea, but wan baby boo!" Lemy cheered.

"We already played it little man," Sam sighed. "A lot."

The professional musicians had been forced to play, and sing the inane song about halfway through their performance as the siblings got cranky. Not wanting to loose their attention, they had started alternating between genres of Pop and actual music in the hopes of keeping their eyes on them.

It had had mixed results.

"No, want melody!" Lyra complained, glaring at Lemy.

"Really!?" Luna instantly brightened.

"Yea!" Lyra nodded.

"But baby after?" Lemy asked with big eyes.

"Yea…" Lyra nodded firmly.

"… Just take it as a win Lunes; we're all wiped." Sam sighed, and plopped down next to Lincoln, taking a sleepy Lina from his arms.

"You know what; yeah, I'm done for the day." Luna gave in and grabbed Lincoln's phone to start The Demon Song (ignoring the wincing from Sam and Lincoln) before handing it to Lyra. "Go play in the living room okay, Mommies and Daddy need to rest."

"Okay!" Lemy gleefully snatched the phone from Lyra, prompting a possibly friendly game of chase as they ran out of the room.

"… I hope they break it." Lincoln drawled. "Seriously; I don't even have anyone who can't call me through the house phone anyway, I can just get a watch or something to tell time."

"I hear you," Luna joined her wife and brother at the table, staring into the ceiling.

But as she did, she noticed something was slightly off.

"Hey Linc?"

"… Yeah?"

"Can Lulu do chameleon stuff?"

"Yes, but I've only seen her doing it before she…" Lincoln blinked, and refocussed on the spot that Luna was pointing to. There was one Lulu Loud alright, opened up 'happy face' vaguely outlined against the ceiling with an elongated proboscis ready to slide down an esophagus and drink directly from a stomach. "Oh no."

Lisa would later point to the following minutes as to when she was able to confirm that Lulu did indeed enjoy Lynn's favourite sports drink, but only when mixed with digestive juices.

A/N:

For the record, Lisa's actions are very silly and her intentions to make her little superhumans is more than a little creepy, but it came out of a thought experiment about what the consequences of Lisa's gene tinkering with the Sin Kids would be. Logically, incest is still gross but technically healthier than outbreeding if Lisa has really 'fixed' the genes of everyone in the family.

And if she can mess with their genes like that, she would want to mess with them to the absolute limit of her abilities just to see how far she could push it. And any good scientist knows you need a control group…

The snowballing 'need' for subjects in that thought experiment fit the general modus operandi of LLFM!Lisa, so I expanded upon the stated motive from the original fic as this.

Honestly this chapter is mostly just a chunk of exposition from the original thought experiment, but I hope that you still got a giggle or two from the Lulu antics at least :) As always, please let me know if you find any overt spelling errors or other such mistakes.