Self Discovery

"Ahhh," Lincoln sighed in relief as the hot water ran over his body. Years ago any steam had been a violently contested commodity between the siblings, but thanks to the necessary renovations that allowed the house to function as the practical day-care for so many children; hot water was now a common pleasure that Lincoln's inner steam-deprived-eleven-year-old relished.

Of course, finding the time for a long hot one was another matter entirely, but between his sore muscles (and oesophagus) and the girls currently watching the kids; he felt like staying in for a minute or ten was warranted. Plus he'd scrubbed Lacy and L3 clean before hopping in, so he felt like he'd earned it anyway.

Thus it was that the tired, thoroughly sore both inside and out man was able to find a moment's peace and luxuriate in one of the simple pleasures of life. He could do anything he wanted in here and not be bothered by salty sisters or persistent progeny.

Well almost anything he wanted; he knew better than to hope to get away with some 'self indulgence' while Lisa was still on whatever bend that had resulted in the next generation coming so soon. He wasn't sure why she wanted to use his baby juice over any other man's, but until she stopped there was no way he could indulge himself in the house.

Which was a shame, since a grown man has needs and since Ronnie had stopped coming over properly he was feeling them quite a bit keenly now.

Oh well; from what he'd been told, his bits had been given all the workout they would ever need anyway.

And was with that bitter resignation towards probable lifelong abstinence that he reached to turn up the heat, hoping to enjoy the respite a little longer before the fray demanded-

BANG

His presence again.

"… Lisa?" He dryly asked.

"Who else?" Lynn was visibly dusty, her recent shower ruined already.

The dining room was covered in plaster dust. A quick look upwards revealed a thick, jagged crack leading to Lisa's room/lab through the ceiling. Lisa herself stood in the kitchen, alongside Sam (still holding Lina), Luna and Lynn; but the scientist merely looked a bit sooty as opposed to dusty, while Lynn's twins and Lulu huddled behind the adults still as clean as before.

"So… what exactly- wait" there were some kids unaccounted for-" where are Lemy and Lyra?"

"Are out with Lily," Luna interrupted his train of thought, looking slightly frazzled herself. "She took 'em out for ice-cream because of… stuff earlier, so they weren't anywhere near when the ceiling came down."

"What happened?" He shook his head.

"Leese got distracted for some reason, so one of her experiments went bang," Lynn started dusting herself off. "But it looks like this old house finally had enough and the floor gave in- kinda surprising it hasn't happened before."

"It was an embarrassing lapse in judgement." Lisa confirmed. "However I must emphasise that the explosion was only minor, and neither S-12 or myself were in any danger. However, the decrepit state of the house meant that even minor damage was able to result in the offending fissure."

"And how much of that 'decrepit state' came from all that stuff you've blown up!?" Lynn snapped. "I thought the ceiling was gonna come down on us!"

"An unlikely event- for now at least," Lisa countered. "But I would recommend finding alternate lodgings for the immediate future."

The elder set of siblings sans Lisa shared a glance, and Lincoln shot Lisa a questioning look. Sighing Lisa pointed up, "if you will observe, the fractures are not limited to only the area of explosion."

Their eyes followed her finger, and sure enough beyond the main fissure there were smaller cracks with chunks of plaster falling away in places, eventually becoming innumerable hairline cracks that followed the walls in straight patterns. "If I am not mistaken, said cracks are following weakened sections in the overall structure that will need to be repaired before the household can be considered properly safe again.

Regardless of future experimentation or not, this house needs heavy repairs. I would estimate a full week at minimum for the reconstruction to be completed."

Lincoln stared with a measure of shock. Of course they'd all been well aware that their childhood home was an ancient and well-worn building; but the idea that the underlying structure was dangerous hadn't really occurred to him.

It should have been obvious in hindsight; the place was falling apart when he as a kid. But since he'd gown up with the place falling apart, he'd grown used to living around the splinters and sparks like the others. In reality though…

"This is place is kind of a death trap isn't it?" Luna muttered. "Geeze, is it even safe to be in here right now?"

"I would say that most of the rooms are perfectly safe for the immediate future." Lisa informed. "However that will rapidly change if heavy repairs and reconstruction are not performed, from my current analysis I would place the overall structure as being a year from total condemnation-"

A low groan emitted from the house, and suddenly water began trickling from one of the cracks.

"I would like to revise my estimate. Also; evacuate immediately."

Thus is was that The Loud House was effectively mothballed for the foreseeable future.

It turned out that Lisa's estimates were in fact very optimistic, the overall repairs would take a little over a month at a minimum; and that was with Lana's connections (and the woman herself on hand). If it weren't for Lisa's own undisclosed sources of cash, Lincoln was reasonably certain they wouldn't have been able to do anything but bulldoze the old home memories or not.

As it was; they obviously couldn't stay within. Thus the then current residents had their stays cut short, or found temporary accommodation.

Lynn and Rita Loud were granted a month-long holiday in a location of their choosing and went on a full trip around Europe. Lincoln suspected Lisa was at least partially trying to bribe them after all the nonsense she'd pulled.

The other adults had their own lives to return to, even if some had been looking forwards to spending time in their old home. The children simply returned to their mothers' homes with them, Lola having been decisively less than pleased to find her eldest teary eyed and (temporarily) bald under a pink beanie since the 'dye' had been dangerous.

Where exactly Lisa had gone with Lulu remained a mystery, though Lincoln had a running bet that she was just hibernating with her child in one of her old cryogenics pods in the bunker.

As for Lincoln himself…

He lay in a hotel room, all amenities covered for the full month and ready to relax.

And he was happy.

It wasn't just because that last day had been trying even by his standards; for the first time in literal years Lincoln Loud had a holiday from childcare. No changing nappies, or playing peacemaker, or getting vomited on, or having to wear his progeny in some weird poncho…

Instead, he relaxed.

He read his comics. He called Clyde and shared some conversation about stuff that wasn't about his kids for once. He left a message for Ronnie. He went to Woofers with Clyde and enjoyed ordering overpriced food while pretending he wasn't looking at the waitresses. He got drunk because he could afford to get a hangover for once.

He did all the things he'd wanted to do but couldn't for years.

And then he was bored.

One week had passed since he'd waved his kids goodbye, and he was… tired. Empty. His entire life had revolved around caring for them for so long now that he wasn't used to not doing just that anymore.

He didn't have a regular job anymore to occupy his time and set his life around.

Instead his habit was to rise early to make breakfast with his own father, then search for wriggly little bodies and make sure they were safely tied to him. Every few hours he instinctively looked for a crawling child to feed and change.

While he read, he felt his anxiety rise until he remembered that the background was empty of baby babble for a good reason, not because they were off in the vents again or getting hurt out of sight. He slept poorly and clutched at his pillow- half dreaming that it was a warm little body that hugged back.

It was funny, two weeks ago he dreamed of life before his kids. Not that he hated being their father, he'd gotten attached to them of course, but he'd be lying if he didn't miss the freedom and fun of living for himself (well, himself and Ronnie). But now… it was like a switch had been flipped, and a month to himself was empty after the first few days.

He was lonely too, Clyde had his own life after all and couldn't spend most nights chatting away with his old friend just because. Ronnie was still more than slightly frosty with him, and most of his other friends had drifted away across the years.

"It sounds like empty nest syndrome," Dad's voice was tinny on the phone.

"I thought that only happened after they moved out?" Lincoln wondered aloud, staring at the lake his room opened into.

"Hmm… maybe it's separation anxiety?" Mom interjected.

"I've never had it before, and most of the kids aren't even with me most days anyway."

"Well you've never had all of them away before now have you? I don't think you've had time to think about not having one for too long before another one needed you for something."

"Maybe…" he thought it over. Ever since the first few had popped out of Lisa, he'd not had a day to himself. The first months had been hellish what with getting used to not sleeping through the night, the constant feedings, loss of his individual life (including his own job and income) and slow disintegration of what remained of his relationship with Ronnie-Anne. Then with the exception of Lola and Lisa, Lori through to Lily had given birth and… he honestly didn't remember most of that time.

But since then he'd been used to it, sure he still longed for the all-too-infrequent breaks of his nigh constant duty. But he'd gotten attached the little tykes, and they seemed to be a least a little attached to him too (a lot in some cases, if the way Leia and a few others demanded his attention was any indication).

And being a part of their lives… seeing them approach everything with new wonder and joy, watching them grow and blossom into their own personalities day by day; becoming someone as they grew bigger in body and mind was an experience he wasn't sure anyone who wasn't a parent could really understand.

And now he was far away from all of that.

The room was cold as the breeze came in from over the lake and there was not a single person who needed him within miles.

"Yeah, actually; I think you might be right."

A/N:

Mostly just Set up for the next chapter, which will be along soon enough. But that should be the last chapter for a few weeks, while Baby Boogaloo content is easy to write I do have other things to put out as well.