I didn't mean to update today because I've been stuck on a part of this chapter for a while, but then I read a cute fic (I thought...) to cheer myself up bc I've been working from home with a stomach bug the past three days (luckily it "only" gave me a stomach ache) and you know when you're enjoying something, you're trusting something to keep making you feel good, and then your eyes catch on a line and you choke because wtf?
The fic did not come with appropriate warnings and I got so angry that in retailation, I wrote the last (fluffy) piece needed for this chapter and decided to update. Thank you, terribly rude author, for upsetting me enough that I needed to update so I could vent about it.
Anyway! I told myself I'd write a shorter chapter and update faster and I still hit 9K so like. This is just my life now I guess. I've had a bit of free time the past months but things are going to pick up now, so I have no idea when/if I'll have time to write before summer. It's not really a cliffhanger this time though.
Hope you like it!
Chapter 42: I've had it with denial
xxx
Gaara's sand needles bumped uselessly against Sasuke's Susanoo, but Naruto didn't pause to watch them fall to the ground. He reached out with a chakra-made hand, snatching Gaara before he could launch another attack at Sasuke and Charasuke. His clones were making quick work of the remaining Zetsus, a surprising amount of them already dead. Hadn't Sasuke told Charasuke that Menma had turned on him when the Zetsu appeared? What was he even doing out here, trying to-
He cursed, Gaara escaping his hold by letting the sand armor on his body crumble so that he could slip through.
"Get Charasuke away from here!" he called to Sasuke, landing in the midst of the chaotic battle between his clones and the Zetsus, facing Gaara.
"Don't be stupid," Sasuke called back, and a quick glance towards him showed him carrying a possibly unconscious Charasuke bridal style.
Oh well, at least they were safe inside Susanoo. He wasn't looking forward to fighting Gaara, but several Zetsus had already latched onto him and tried to drag him off.
Finally something exciting happens! Kurama laughed inside his head, and he could feel how eager the fox was to be let loose.
"First things first," he muttered, shaping a giant Rasengan with the help of two chakra hands.
Once it was big enough he tossed it in the air where one of his clones caught it, bringing it up higher before aiming it towards the crater.
"Naruto, don't even think about-"
He ignored Sasuke, focusing on taking out the Zetsus surrounding Gaara. It was simple enough to grab stray kunai off the ground and hit them one by one, avoiding getting too close to Gaara and his sand. A moment later the Rasengan sped into the crater, disappearing into the crevice before exploding at a deafening volume, bringing part of the forest with it and throwing dirt and pieces of rocks in every direction.
"You idiot!" Sasuke yelled, but Naruto was not taking any chances that Sasuke wanted to follow the Zetsus into whatever dimension they came from.
I think he's mad at you, Kurama commented, but Naruto clenched his jaw and kept his eyes on Gaara.
Sasuke could be mad all he wanted, this way they couldn't grab Gaara and make a run for it. At least, he hoped the crater was where the portal would be, if there was one nearby. All those Zetsu copies must have come from somewhere… Gaara's skin was already boiling, preparing for the change into Shukaku. He just wanted to get this over with so he could get back to his and Sasuke's very nice conversation where he'd gotten the closest to a love confession he'd possibly ever get. Whoever was sending out these Zetsus to capture jinchuuriki was going to die a gruesome death once he caught them.
Sighing, he gave Kurama the go ahead, transforming into his kyuubi mode. There was no point in dragging this out. His only idea so far was to knock Gaara unconscious and hope that whatever was possessing him had disappeared when he woke up.
Gaara-as-Shukaku coiled his single tail, slapping it against the ground and adding further to the wreckage around them. He'd always found Shukaku a bit creepy, possibly because of that first fight between them when they were all just kids. Actually, it was kind of ironic that he was once again fighting Gaara in the Forest of death.
"We could draw it out a little though, couldn't we?"Kurama purred, claws digging into the soft earth and white bodies beneath them, his head tilting up in challenge and jostling Naruto just a little where he stood on Kurama's shoulder. "It's not like we can spar with him like this back home."
"And thank Akatsuki for that," he shot back, waiting for Gaara to make the first move.
"Oi, are you saying you want to be rid of me, too?"
Naruto rolled his eyes. Shukaku may have become slightly less evil after Naruto saved them all from permanently being part of the ten-tails (and even Sasuke had wanted to capture them, like come on) but Gaara was quite happily sleeping at night ever since those Akatsuki members extracted it from him.
As if you'd ever let me be rid of you, he muttered in his head, but of course Kurama could still hear him.
He could feel Kurama huff with his entire body, all their tails swishing in irritation. The wind from it accidentally knocked over a few more trees. He should probably take him out for training more often, kind of like walking a dog… A dog that enjoyed destroying the landscape.
Gaara chose that moment to attack, rushing towards them with a loud snarl. A shiver ran down his spine, but that was probably just Sasuke glaring at him. Maybe tonight he really would be sleeping on the couch. Then again, Sasuke might settle for threatening him a bit, since he hadn't seemed all too happy about Naruto voluntarily choosing the couch.
"How about you focus a bit?"Kurama sounded annoyed, his tone of voice closer to a growl. Possibly because he finally got to fight for real and Naruto wasn't paying attention.
"I'm thinking about more serious threats," he replied, grinning as they caught Gaara with both front paws, holding him at bay for a moment before throwing him to the side. He made a rather impressive path of destruction through the trees. "Then again, I think Sasuke is always mad at me."
"I just had to be stuck inside you of all people,"Kurama sighed theatrically, clicking his tongue. "Even I am starting to dream about Sasuke."
"Oi, paws off!" He slapped at the thick fur behind Kurama's ear, but the fox was of course not hurt by it.
"He has such scary eyes… but I dream about finally eating him. He'll make a good snack, don't you think?"
"You- What- Don't even joke about it, you stupid fox!"
Kurama threw his head back and laughed, the sound probably being heard all the way to the Hokage tower. This time Naruto kicked him, and he would have done it again if Gaara hadn't come charging at them. Shukaku was fairly slow compared to the other tailed beasts, but he still dodged the first tail they swept at him.
"Come on, Kurama," Naruto whined as they jumped aside rather than engage Shukaku in close combat. "We don't have time to play with him."
"We have infinite amounts of time," Kurama argued. "You can kiss Sasuke later, let's go!"
He sighed as Kurama dodged yet another attack, one of his tails artfully flicking Shukaku in the face. It wasn't exactly fair to Gaara (especially to Gaara's body) to drag it out, but he had a feeling that Kurama could not be convinced otherwise. Resigning himself to a few minutes of Kurama playing with his opponent like an overexcited kitten, Naruto tried not to think about all the things that Sasuke had allowed him to glimpse inside his mind. He would rather think about it later, when he could truly savor it, pick each feeling apart and revel in it.
At least Kurama ignored him for now, not caring that he was distracted. It probably only served his interests if Naruto stopped complaining about how long he was taking to defeat Gaara. He winced as Kurama trampled through the forest, breaking trees and whatever else was in his path. If this was their own world he'd get a terrible scolding for sure. Though, of course, the Forest of Death was only one of many places that had been destroyed when Pain/Nagato attacked.
Eventually Kurama let out a satisfied huff, Gaara put in place under his paw (and returned to his human body). Hopefully he wasn't too badly hurt. He jumped down, poking at Kurama's paw until it released Gaara. It seemed he was a little worse for wear, but nothing that a good night's rest wouldn't cure.
"Happy now?" he asked, and Kurama rolled his eyes before flickering out of sight as Naruto dropped his chakra back to more normal levels.
Gnawing on his lower lip, he took a moment to stare down at Gaara's face, smudged with dirt from the fight. There were cracks on his face from where the sand armor had broken, and a few tears in his clothes. He was not going to mention this to Gaara when they got back to their world.
Turning around, he noticed Sasuke and Charasuke having moved closer, Sasuke also having dropped his Susanoo but still supporting Charasuke. He was awake though, leaning heavily on Sasuke's arm, a mixture of awe and something else on his face.
"Remind me to never get on your bad side," Charasuke said with a shudder, eyes flitting between Naruto and Gaara.
"Oh, don't worry," he replied, a bit distracted by the way Sasuke ran a hand through his hair. "You look too much like Sasuke for me to hurt you."
"You've hurt me plenty of times," Sasuke muttered, and Naruto didn't like the way he eyed the rubble covering the crater behind them.
"Oh yeah? Only one of us has run their entire arm through the other's chest, and I don't remember that being me."
"You know my reasons," Sasuke bit back, still not looking at him.
Charasuke looked a moment away from passing out when Sasuke shoved him at Naruto, and he barely kept him standing upright.
"And where do you think you're going?" Naruto asked, a chakra hand shooting out to grab Sasuke, who had turned towards the remains of the crater. "I'm not letting you run off on your own to see if the portal is still here."
"Do you seriously think anything can survive your idiotic bombs?"
"I couldn't risk those Zetsus grabbing Gaara and making a run for it."
Sasuke glared at him, his jaw twitching with restrained anger. It was almost bad enough to make him take a step back.
"And now we might never figure out where they're coming from."
Pouting, Naruto hoisted Charasuke into a better position. Maybe so, but did Sasuke have to make him sound so dumb?
"I still wouldn't let you anywhere near it on your own. I'd have sent one of my clones first."
"And this didn't occur to you before you went and destroyed it?"
"We don't even know if it was there in the first place."
Charasuke coughed, and Naruto glanced down at his pale face. He didn't look that good. He sighed, bending down to lift him up. Maybe one day he'd be allowed to carry Sasuke like this… oh well.
"We should get Charasuke to the hospital first. I'll leave a couple clones to search the area."
He earned another glare for that, but then Sasuke relaxed in his hold.
"I hate it when you sound reasonable," he muttered, brushing off invisible dust from his arms when Naruto released him. "Next time this happens, you're sending a clone through the portal before you start blowing things up."
"Yes, Sasuke," he promised sweetly, smiling a little at how insulted Sasuke looked. "But you have to admit I looked pretty cool."
Sasuke walked over and cuffed him on the back of his head. But then his fingers tangled in Naruto's hair as he pushed their mouths together, the kiss too brief but still leaving Naruto with butterflies in his stomach.
"Have one of your clones carry Gaara," Sasuke said, trailing his eyes over Charasuke's body before ripping a larger hole in his pants where blood had started to dry. "This doesn't look too serious, at least."
"Carry him yourself," Naruto grumbled, but one of his clones had overheard and was already working on it.
Funny how his clones never argued with Sasuke, when they argued with him all the time. He followed Sasuke towards the village, gnawing on his lower lip. There was a slim chance that they'd be done with explanations in time for lunch. His stomach grumbled at the thought. Maybe they could grab some ramen on the way…
Heaving a sigh, he tried to come to terms with having to wait before he could drag Sasuke somewhere secluded to, ahem, apologize properly. He glanced at Charasuke, whose arms were crossed over his chest, a frown on his tired face.
"You okay?" he asked, mostly because it just dawned on him that Charasuke had watched them kiss from literally a few centimeters away and he didn't know how to deal with that.
"If I had any strength left I would hit you."
"Uh, yeah, okay. Please don't or I'll drop you."
Charasuke looked uncannily alike Sasuke when his eyes narrowed in a scowl. It was probably better not to look at him. He tried to focus on making his way over the uneven ground without stumbling, because it was a bit difficult to see where he ran and jumped while carrying another person. Maybe he should have just thrown Charasuke over his shoulder, but then he'd get a view of his ass, and he still thought of him as a pervert.
"Why would you hit me anyway? I just saved your life."
"Sasuke saved my life."
"Only because I could sense that you were in the middle of whatever shit was going on here."
He could feel Charasuke glaring a hole into his face, but then he groaned and rubbed a hand over his eyes.
"Oi, hurry up, dobe!" Sasuke called, and Naruto couldn't help the way his breath hitched.
It had been a while since Sasuke called him that… he must be really mad. He was about to yell back, but then a bunch of ninja from the village finally managed to catch up with them. There was a lot of confusion from a few of them who apparently hadn't heard about there being two Sasuke in Konoha now, but then Shisui arrived and started barking out orders. Naruto gratefully handed Charasuke over to him, the tense worry on Shisui's face easing a bit when Charasuke complained about being carried around.
"Come with me to the hospital," Shisui said, not bothering to wait for a reply as he took off.
"Alright, alright," Naruto sighed, lingering for a moment until Sasuke came over. "Think we can get lunch on the way?"
Sasuke gave him a sharp look, then grabbed his ear and tugged.
"Stop that," he said, not letting go even when Naruto yelped in pain.
"Stop what?" he hissed, rubbing his ear when Sasuke finally dropped his hand.
"Stop talking crap with the kyuubi in the middle of a fight. It's embarrassing."
"For me or for you?"
Naruto shrank away when Sasuke's look turned murderous.
"Okay, relax! You weren't supposed to hear us anyway."
"One of these days I'm going to have a nice little talk with that fox." The words were accompanied with a frightening little curl of Sasuke's lips, and Naruto almost felt sorry for Kurama. "He needs to mind his own business."
It was probably pointless to tell Sasuke that Naruto's business was Kurama's business, considering they shared a body and all that. He had a feeling it wouldn't improve Sasuke's mood.
I'm not scared of him, Kurama snorted. He's welcome to talk to me anytime he dares.
And that, Naruto decided, was a problem for another day.
"Let's, uh, let's just follow Shisui, yeah?"
Sasuke sent one more glare in the general direction of Naruto's stomach, then nodded.
Things were a bit chaotic at the hospital when they arrived, though the loud chatter paused abruptly once the people inside noticed them. Sasuke caught a nurse by the back of her uniform and demanded to know which room Charasuke had been taken to. Definitely in a bad mood. They followed the directions the poor nurse had squeaked out, soon enough arriving at a door blocked by two grim-faced ninja.
"Open the door," Sasuke ordered them, his tone of voice reminding Naruto of several unpleasant things that he had said before in exactly that tone.
Lucky for them (and probably more lucky for the guards) they swung the doors open without comment, letting them through.
"Do you have to sound like you're about to murder someone?"
"Would you like to be the first victim?"
Naruto released a long-suffering sigh. He clasped his hands behind his neck and strolled after Sasuke, frowning at how everyone who laid eyes on him immediately froze in terror. This couldn't be only his fault, right? Surely some bickering with Kurama – and oh, that portal too – didn't warrant Sasuke to act like he was out for blood. Maybe he was annoyed about the interruption too? But nah, that didn't make sense.
When they reached what was apparently Charasuke's room, Sasuke threw the door open and paused, blocking the view. Naruto crouched behind him, sneaking a look over his shoulder. No one in the room seemed affected by their arrival; Orochimaru stood bent over Charasuke's bed, Shisui standing on the other side with stiff shoulders, both of them too focused on Charasuke. Obito was over by the window, leaning against the frame with crossed arms, though his eyes were trained on the bed as well.
"Maybe we should come back later," Naruto mumbled, but all it did was make Sasuke let go of the door and stride inside.
He paused by the foot of the bed, Shisui acknowledging him with a quick glance. Charasuke had his eyes closed, breaths even as if asleep. Rather than add another person staring at him, Naruto shuffled over to Obito by the windows. His stomach decided to complain again, and he shoved his hands down his pockets and bumped his head back against the wall between two windows.
"He's not badly wounded," Obito said, keeping his voice low. "I'm glad you arrived in time."
Naruto shrugged, watching Sasuke who seemed like he was barely blinking. Things were quiet for a while, aside from the low hum of Orochimaru's chakra sweeping back and forth over Charasuke.
"There you go," Orochimaru sighed after a few minutes, "as good as new."
"When will he wake up?" Sasuke asked, fists clenching and relaxing.
"Why do you need to know?" Orochimaru asked, eyes narrowed in suspicion. "He needs to rest."
"He needs to explain why his Sharingan was awakened."
"His what," Shisui exclaimed, gripping the headboard. He sent a wild look towards Obito before focusing on Sasuke. "What do you mean by that?!"
Obito had rushed over to the bed as well, and Naruto reluctantly followed. He hadn't seen Charasuke until Sasuke practically shoved him towards him, and then his eyes had been their normal black color. He tried not to think about when Sasuke got his Sharingan back in the Land of Waves (because he thought Sasuke had died and that still hurt to think about).
"I caught him just as Gaara was about to attack him, and the Sharingan was activated. I'm going to break every single bone in his body for doing this to himself."
A stunned silence followed, and Naruto grabbed Sasuke's hand, squeezing it until he felt him relax.
"There's nothing you can do about it now," he said, though Sasuke's gaze remained stuck on Charasuke's face.
"If we'd gotten there sooner-"
Naruto pushed a finger against Sasuke's lips, then forced him to turn his head to meet his eyes.
"He'll be okay."
A flash of something pained and broken flickered across Sasuke's face, and Naruto was sure he didn't believe that he would. He only knew some of what the Sharingan meant and how it worked, because Sasuke never wanted to talk about it. Obito had told them that here the Sharingan was awakened as a last resort when someone you loved was in grave danger… Did Charasuke care enough about Gaara to sacrifice his eyesight for him? Hadn't they only just met?
They were interrupted by the door opening slowly, as if the person on the other side wasn't sure if they wanted to come inside. It was Itachi, expression serious as he leaned forwards, taking in the scene of the four of them gathered around Charasuke's bed.
"I thought you weren't coming back until tonight," Obito said, breaking the tension in the room.
"I said I might not come back earlier than tonight," Itachi replied easily, though his eyes lingered on Charasuke's sleeping form. "But apparently I should have been even earlier."
Shisui let out a short breath, passing a hand wearily over his face. Then he straightened up, seemingly bracing himself for something.
"I need to talk to you," he said to Itachi, and with a few long strides he was over by the door, pushing Itachi out and closing it behind them.
"Well," Orochimaru said, too loud in the sudden silence. "I have other patients to look after. Let someone in the reception know if you all leave."
Naruto wanted to leave, too, but he had a feeling Sasuke wouldn't agree. He could tell that Obito was itching to ask them what had happened, but he'd rather hand that task over to Sasuke.
"I'll keep an eye on him," he sighed, grabbing one of the chairs by the wall and dragging it noisily over to the bed. "If my clones find something I'll let you know."
He'd barely sat down before Sasuke turned on his heel and headed after Itachi and Shisui, though Obito stayed behind to give him a strange look.
"What?"
Shaking his head, Obito reached down to pull Charasuke's hospital blanket over his body, tucking it under his chin.
"I'm still not sure if we are lucky or unlucky that the two of you are here, but thank you for keeping Sasuke safe."
"Yeah, I'm pretty sure Sasuke would kill me if something happened to his other self." He scratched at his neck, pulling a leg up to rest his chin over his knee. "If you could find someone to bring us lunch, though…"
Giving him another strange look, Obito simply nodded before heading out as well. Naruto stared after him, then glanced down at Charasuke when the sound of his footsteps had faded away. Like this, Charasuke looked terribly alike Sasuke. His hair was a little different, but the slope of his nose, the shape of his lips… The sight made him uneasy.
Shifting uncomfortably in the chair, he hoped Sasuke would come back soon.
xxx
They'd been arguing. Sasuke drew the conclusion simply from the fact that both Itachi and Shisui snapped their mouths shut as soon as he and Obito found them, hiding in an empty patient room. Itachi sent Shisui a look before turning towards them, but Shisui kept staring at him stubbornly.
"Mother will be here soon," Itachi said, waiting until Obito nodded before addressing Sasuke. "We'd appreciate if you could tell us what happened as soon as she arrives."
"I don't know much," Sasuke admitted, though he would know a lot more than they did.
He was still gritting his teeth at Charasuke being so careless – he should have realized right away what was happening, and that he shouldn't have tried to deal with it on his own. There was no way they'd both just happened to be inside the Forest of death. It made him unreasonably angry, because Sharingan or not, those sand needles would have hit their mark.
He was not trapped in this world to watch himself die.
Judging by the tense faces of the others, they all seemed to have guessed that Charasuke wouldn't have come out of that fight alive if he and Naruto hadn't interrupted it. Glaring at nothing, he kept silent as they waited, only Shisui attempting some small talk that quickly died out. When Mikoto finally arrived he noticed how the other three instantly straightened up, the miserable looks on their faces replaced with seriousness.
"Well?" she asked, looking more like a clan-head than Sasuke could remember his own mother ever doing.
"Those white creatures showed up again, targeting Gaara. Sasuke tried to stop them…"
Shisui trailed off, swallowing thickly. Mikoto glanced at Sasuke, and then seemed to realize they weren't talking about him.
"Naruto and I arrived just in time," he offered, seeing as Shisui seemed tongue-tied and no one else was talking. "They'll both be fine."
"What was he doing with Gaara?" she demanded, making Itachi roll his eyes.
"Oh, I don't know," he bit out, crossing his arms. "A romantic stroll in the Forest of death?"
Narrowing her eyes at him, Mikoto still let the comment slide. Charasuke had mentioned it to him, in the midst of crying over Menma, how eager his parents seemed to pair him up with Gaara. He couldn't imagine his parents ever suggesting he married a man. Though, if you thought about it from a strategic perspective, handing over the younger son of the leader of the most prominent clan in Konoha to the Kazekage's son would certainly ensure stronger ties between the villages. Except they couldn't have children. Was that just something that didn't concern his clan in this world? There were a lot more of them than in his own world, before, well. Before they all died.
"Sasuke?" Mikoto asked, clearly expecting him to fill in the blanks.
"I don't know why they were together or in the Forest of death," he shrugged, careful to keep his tone neutral. He didn't want to get involved in their disagreements. He was already biased on account of himself and Naruto being a much worse match in the eyes of the public than Charasuke and Menma could ever hope to be. "We heard an explosion, Naruto sensed that they were in the middle of it. We went there and took care of it."
They watched him, waiting to see if he would add anything. When he didn't, Obito sighed wearily.
"Details, Sasuke. You left quite the wreckage behind."
"Well, Naruto thought it was a good idea to blow up the tunnel that the white Zetsus came from. So we'll most likely never find out if there was a portal there like there was in the cave Menma disappeared in. Feel free to yell at him, he wouldn't listen to me."
He paused, sending a silent threat Naruto's way for being so dumb.
"As for the wreckage… The ground was already torn up when we got there, but with the explosion and two bijuus fighting each other, it's fairly self-explanatory."
It took him a moment to realize they were all staring at him strangely. He frowned, thinking back on his words, if he'd said anything confusing.
"So…" Shisui started, tapping his fingers together. "You're telling me that Gaara transformed into the ichibi, and Naruto transformed into the kyuubi, and the village is still intact?"
"It wasn't much of a fight."
Sasuke was starting to feel done with the conversation. He wanted to go back to Naruto, and make him take his mind off things until Charasuke woke up. Anger was starting to give way to tiredness, and he was not happy about how the past hour's emotions had seemed to drain him of all energy. He was just about to tell them he'd go back, when one of Naruto's clones popped into existence just behind his shoulder.
"Oh," it said, apparently not expecting a room full of Uchiha clan members.
Seized by the urge to take all his annoyance out at the clone – and it was one thing for Naruto to teleport using the mark on his neck, but his clones – Sasuke reached out and grabbed it by the front of its jacket.
"This better be important," he said, speaking slowly to make sure the clone caught the menacing undertone.
"You're the one who wanted to check if there was a portal," it muttered, petulant. "And now I don't feel like telling you."
Maybe sensing that Sasuke was close to the breaking point, Obito stepped in and lifted the clone away from him.
"Please," he said, rubbing at his temples once the clone was at a safe distance. "We're already high-strung as it is."
The clone stuck its tongue out at Sasuke, and really, Naruto should be grateful that he already had enough traumatizing memories of trying to maim Naruto that he wasn't going to add to it by brutally dispelling his clone. Naruto's clones were disturbingly resilient, anyway. It was annoying enough like this, they didn't need it bleeding fake blood all over the floor as well.
"Fine, there is a portal. Or well, what's left of it. We didn't really find anything else."
"Told you," Sasuke couldn't stop himself from saying, knowing Naruto would know he'd said it once the clone disappeared.
"Alright," Obito said, a note of finality to the word. "Sasuke, Naruto, you come with me and we'll have a look at that portal. Shisui, if you could bring Naruto – the real Naruto that is – some food, please? We'll have to report to Tsunade later."
Shisui groaned, but otherwise no one commented as Obito strode out of the room. Following him, Sasuke tried to calm himself. He was finding it increasingly more difficult to reign in his emotions, like Kaguya had punched holes in the dam holding them at bay and now the holes had grown too big and too many for him to patch up before the feelings slipped through and showed on his face. Judging by the way Naruto's clone looked at him, sideways and with an obvious frown, it could tell that he was still annoyed.
Naruto could always tell, sometimes even before Sasuke knew what he felt himself.
Usually they would go spar together, just hitting each other until they felt better. He contemplated suggesting it to Naruto later, mulling the thought over on their way back to the battle scene, something about it still not sitting quite right with him. Those… other activities they'd done had certainly made him relaxed, and honestly, nothing calmed him down better than Naruto's chakra. Maybe just his presence, really. He had a feeling he'd had this exact thought before.
He sent another glance towards the clone, biting his lips as his chest clenched, thinking about what Naruto had been about to say earlier, before they'd been interrupted. A surge of irritation filled him, because that was some impeccable timing, wasn't it? Sasuke had poured his heart out, unprepared, and in the midst of that turmoil Charasuke had to go and throw himself into mortal danger.
Heaving a sigh – knowledge of the source of his endless irritation doing nothing to lessen it – he resigned himself to several hours of pointless poking around the Forest of death.
Pulling up short, he almost slipped on a tree branch, having passed through the now heavily guarded entrance to the forest. It wasn't pointless poking around. Those portals could be an important clue to getting back, and definitely a way to find Menma. Naruto had been stupid to destroy it, but that didn't mean they couldn't get anything useful out of it. He didn't particularly care about Menma at this point, but if it kept Charasuke from throwing his life away then he'd be able to breathe easier.
If it also meant they'd be over and done with this whole thing, leaving time for other, more important matters…
He did himself a favor and pretended that he hadn't just admitted that his newly developed relationship with Naruto held more importance than being stuck in a different dimension.
xxx
He woke up to the scent of food, and the distinct sounds of someone eating nearby. His entire body ached. Someone was hammering against the inside of his eyelids with a sledge.
"Ugh," he said, wishing he could pass out through sheer force of will.
"Oh, you're awake. Guess I won't eat your share of dinner, then."
It was Menma's voice, but the way he talked was all wrong. Naruto.
"Put me back to sleep," he groaned, grabbing the thin blanket covering his body and dragging it up to cover his face as well.
Naruto didn't answer, but the sounds he made indicated he'd gone back to eating. If it was dinnertime already he must have been passed out for a while. Trying to think hurt, so he spent a few minutes lying as still as possible, and thinking as little as possible. It didn't help, and swallowing another groan he blinked his eyes open. The lights were dimmed, thankfully, though he could see Naruto much clearer than he would have liked. He was stuffing himself full of rice, bowl close to his mouth as he flicked his chopsticks into his mouth with a speed that couldn't be healthy.
"Why," he started, but his mouth was too dry to speak properly.
The munching paused, Naruto staring at him for a second. Then he swallowed, noisily, and leaned back in his chair. He was sitting pretty close to the bed, and Sasuke wondered how much of the rice had ended up on him with the messy way Naruto was eating.
"Why what? Oh, here, Itachi came by with some water for you."
He grabbed a glass from the small table behind him, where Sasuke could see several take-out containers and a fancy-looking pitcher filled with water that most likely did not belong to the hospital. He accepted the glass, downing it all in one go. It helped a little bit, at least with getting rid of the scratchy dryness in his throat.
"My brother came back already?"
Naruto answered with a shrug. When Sasuke didn't say anything else he lifted his bowl of rice again, though he didn't eat. After a few awkward moments of staring at each other, Naruto made an annoyed face.
"I should tell everyone you woke up."
"Wait." Sasuke had reached out as if to stop him, even though Naruto hadn't made to get up, and he retracted his hand with an angry blush on his cheeks. "I don't want to have them all barging in here while I'm still trying to make sense of things."
"They'll want to know what happened," Naruto told him, watching him with narrowed eyes. "I think you're going to need a good explanation for almost getting yourself killed."
"There's not much to tell." He paused, biting his lip. "Why do you care, anyway. You don't like me."
"I'm just giving you a warning, that's all. They seemed pretty pissed."
Sighing, Sasuke turned the glass over in his hands. He hadn't meant for things to escalate that quickly. But he'd been doing just fine before those two showed up…
Well, maybe not fine, but he would have figured something out. Maybe. Better not to think about it.
Actually, that idea he'd had of never leaving the house again didn't sound so bad. He could start doing that tomorrow.
"And I mean," Naruto continued, "I don't like you, but it's not like I'd want you to get hurt."
"You didn't seem to care about Gaara getting hurt."
He'd heard everything Naruto said to the kyuubi – they were both really loud – and it made him sick to wonder if Naruto would have treated Menma the same if it was him and not Sasuke who had tried to stop him. They'd played with Gaara like a cat plays with a mouse, like it didn't matter. Was that what it felt like, to be the strongest ninja in the world? Did you no longer need to care about people's lives?
"Well he wasn't badly hurt."
"Transforming like that damages the body!" He glared at Naruto, wishing he could throw something at him. "Menma might not care about it, but you should have stopped him before he even transformed! Gaara didn't ask for this to happen to him."
"Easier said than done." Naruto's gaze didn't waver, and Sasuke hated how unnaturally calm he was. "Besides, if the seal is broken, you can't really stop what's happening if you're already unconscious. Gaara clearly wasn't in control of himself and it wasn't Shukaku's fault."
"And you were?" He let the question hang between them, noticing the flicker of irritation on Naruto's face. "You just let the kyuubi do whatever it wanted."
"He's not a thing, you know. And yeah, sometimes I need to let him do things his way. What are you going to do about it, stop him?"
Sasuke swallowed, the lump in his throat heavy. He'd assumed Naruto was in full control of the kyuubi, and that was what made him strong. But the way the kyuubi talked to him – the way he talked about the other Sasuke – was really disturbing.
"He's not really evil," Naruto added, setting his bowl aside and running a frustrated hand through his hair. "And I wouldn't have let him do any real damage to Gaara. But he's got his own ideas about right and wrong, and how to do things."
Another pause, and Sasuke kept staring at his lap. He shouldn't have brought it up, because hearing Naruto talk about the kyuubi felt surreal. Menma rarely, if ever, mentioned the fox sealed inside him. Not in conversation, at least. It was just an evil thing taking up space inside him, trying to break free. It was not supposed to make jokes.
"It's like, he can read my mind, yeah? He sees everything I see, and hears everything I hear. I'm just hoping he doesn't feel everything I feel because that would be pretty crazy. Okay he just told me he can't feel stuff, that's good. But yeah, he also talks to me, constantly. If I have to choose between letting him fight Shukaku a bit more than necessary or listening to him whine for weeks, it's definitely going to be the first option."
Trying not to shudder, Sasuke knew for sure that he'd go mad if he had something like that living inside of him.
"Anything else you want to know?" Naruto asked, but he didn't look angry or annoyed now, more like they were making small talk about the weather.
He didn't actually want to know, but morbid curiosity, or maybe a strange need to try and understand just how different Naruto and the other Sasuke were from himself, made him open his mouth and blurt out another question.
"Did he really run his arm through your chest? The other me, I mean."
At this, Naruto pursed his lips and leaned forwards, elbows on his knees.
"Look," he said, "I don't remember what we've told you and what we haven't. But that's a long story and I don't feel like telling it. Sasuke has done some questionable things when he was younger, but there were reasons for it, so."
"I'm not sure I would call that questionable. More like insane."
Naruto rolled his eyes.
"Just don't ask him about it. It's a touchy subject."
Didn't you make a joke about it, he wanted to say, but maybe he was actually better off not knowing. He was starting to think that Naruto, too, had his own ideas about right and wrong. For the first time, Sasuke felt like he should be afraid of Naruto. He had done and seen things that he could barely grasp the edges of, and treated them like everyday occurrences. His boyfriend had once run his arm through his chest.
A touchy subject, indeed.
"Is there any food left?" he asked instead, deciding that he'd rather avoid talking to Naruto when he was like that.
Mostly because a small voice in the back of his head told him that he might have said the same sort of thing about the stuff Menma had done in the past.
He was halfway through eating some curry when Itachi came in, eyebrows raised as he took in the view of him awake in bed. Itachi sent Naruto a look, which had Naruto squirming in his seat. Maybe he wasn't entirely fearless after all.
"I see you're awake," Itachi said, tone deceptively even, and Sasuke dipped his head lower into the bowl, chewing carefully.
"Nothing to worry about," Naruto forced out, hopping out of his chair. "I'll just, uh…"
He snuck outside with barely a glance at him, but Sasuke noticed him grabbing one of the bags with food on the way. Trying to appear unbothered, he avoided looking at Itachi and pretended to eat like he was starved. Maybe Itachi would take pity on him and let him finish eating first, at least.
Then his mother appeared in the doorway, and he knew there was no way he'd be let off easy.
"I have no regrets," he said, knowing it would be the only words he'd be able to get out for the foreseeable future, and braced himself for a thorough dissection of everything he'd ever done wrong in life.
When it didn't come, his hands tensed around the bowl. The silence felt heavy, oppressive. He could feel his mother's stare, the weight of it hunching his shoulders.
"I'm taking you off duty, Sasuke." She paused, staring at him. "That means no missions, no training, no-"
"I know what it means."
His breath hitched. He refused to let it out again, keeping the air inside his lungs until they burned. He stared down at the remaining food, no longer hungry. He counted the seconds – one, two, three – and then he heard the click of her shoes against the floor and the quiet creak of the door as it opened and closed.
Lungs not cooperating he desperately inhaled, filling them to the point of bursting. Her words ran on repeat in his head, increasing in volume until he squeezed his eyes shut, biting the inside of his cheek.
He could hear Itachi's slow steps drawing nearer, felt the bed dipping with his weight, a hand on his cheek.
Somehow, that hurt worse.
xxx
Naruto found him on top of the Hokage tower, watching the village drenched in the colors of the sunset. Golden light lit up his face and hair as he leaned on the railing, mimicking Sasuke's position. Him being here had to mean that Charasuke had woken up.
"I brought food," Naruto said, eyes flickering down to the bag he'd dropped at their feet. "It's for you, I already ate."
There was something about the moment that left Sasuke speechless. That he would find himself living a life where Naruto was…
He wasn't sure what to call this thing between them. He knew that for him there was no turning back now, and he had involuntarily shown Naruto the full extent of his feelings. Surely they ran deeper than he wanted to acknowledge even to himself. And here they were, in an alternate world where no one would bat an eye at the way they stared at each other now.
It was almost too much. The silence felt like the held breath before plunging into deep water, like anticipation and nerves crawling all over his skin. He was supposed to think of the situation at hand, of the ruined portal not giving them any clues, not how much he wanted Naruto to touch him. It was… irrational. Turning his face towards the village again, he struggled to gather his thoughts.
"I think he was angry at me," Naruto broke the silence with, hands gripping the railing tight as he pushed his back out, stretching like a cat. "He's nowhere near as scary as you are when you're mad."
Sasuke couldn't help but scoff, and Naruto straightened up again, grin spreading on his face.
"And you're not as scary as you think," he added, taking a step closer.
Not anymore, Sasuke thought bitterly, a familiar churn of regret and pain settling in his stomach. Though, Naruto was maybe the only person in their world who seemed completely at ease in his presence. Yet another reason why this place was preferable – much fewer people knew what he was capable of.
"Hey," Naruto said, softly. Sasuke hadn't noticed his hand reaching out, and now it touched his chin to tip it towards him. "None of that."
Bathed in sunset, Naruto looked ethereal. Like the sun, and the earth, and the ocean. An impossibility, but also more real than anything or anyone Sasuke had ever seen. Living wasn't so terrible, if he lived for Naruto. Loving wasn't so terrible, either, if it was him.
Suddenly, he was desperate to know what Naruto had been about to say, back in the forest.
It's the same for me. Sasuke, I…
He didn't want to ask, didn't know how.
But he wanted to know.
Something must have shown in his eyes, because Naruto's hand slid up to cup his cheek, his expression thoughtful. The pad of his thumb ran along Sasuke's cheekbone, his gaze tracing its path. He didn't realize how it eased the tension in his body until it was all gone, shoulders sagging, jaw unclenching.
"I think," Naruto started, hesitating for a brief moment. "I think when this is all over and we're back at home, I'm going to drag you away with me on vacation. There's some really nice hot springs I passed with Jiraiya a few times, or we could head up into the mountains. But it might be too cold in the mountains right now…"
He trailed off, wistful. Sasuke grabbed his wrist, mindful to use his right hand as his palm touched bare skin. When Naruto pulled his hand back a fraction, Sasuke laced their fingers together, gripping tight.
"I'll hold you to it," he said, warmth blooming in his chest as Naruto gave him a soft little smile, as if unsure that Sasuke could actually want the same thing.
He tipped his head forwards, taking the small step over the distance separating them. Naruto's breath was hot against his mouth, their noses bumping. Naruto smiled at him again, of course he did, as if Sasuke had ever given him reason to.
"Actually, how about we just leave."
Naruto's mouth opened, a startled noise leaving him.
"Leave? What, leave where? Right now?"
He couldn't help it, letting out a huffed little laugh at the indignation painted over Naruto's face. Always the hero, wasn't he? And yet, Sasuke knew that if he pushed, if he really, truly pushed, Naruto would leave with him. And somehow, knowing that was enough. He could indulge Naruto and his need to save the world, already had multiple times. He could even pretend he didn't care.
But Sasuke would do anything for Naruto, too, would follow him to the end of the world and back, if need be. He'd rip through space and time and fuck up every dimension in existence.
The knowledge settled something inside him, made him feel scrubbed raw and soothed simultaneously. Naruto was pouting at him, tugging at his shirt before slipping his arms around his waist.
"Don't make jokes like that," he complained, gripping him tight like he'd skipped over the part where Sasuke said we.
"It wasn't a joke. I've never made a joke in my entire life."
Naruto's eyes narrowed at him, and he made a small noise of protest that soon turned into a hum as Sasuke dipped his head down to kiss him. It was impossible not to, when he stood there bathed in light and so determined to carry the world on his shoulders.
"Besides," Naruto muttered between kisses, "you'd feel bad if we ditched them."
"Would not."
"Would too."
Pausing, lips barely brushing, Sasuke leveled Naruto with a half-hearted glare.
"Shut up and teleport us back to your room."
"It's our room."
"Yours," Sasuke insisted, but Naruto was grinning by now, and he couldn't do anything but grin back.
It made him feel a little deranged. Everything about Naruto made him feel a little deranged, and also like a chidori was constantly rolling across his skin.
"Will you keep kissing me if I do?"
Sasuke didn't even want to pretend he wouldn't.
xxx
It was barely dawn, and yet the curtains fluttered from the breeze where Itachi stood silhouetted in the window. Mikoto had insisted on the long, flowing curtains in Itachi's room, even when the ten years younger Itachi wouldn't stop complaining about the bright splash of color in his otherwise dark room.
Shisui didn't really care about the interior decoration, though. He did care that Itachi had returned later than he'd said he would, and the bed had felt cold without him.
"At least close the window," he mumbled, tucking the duvet tighter around himself.
Itachi stayed silent, and the window stayed open. Heaving a sigh, Shisui rolled ungracefully out of bed and padded over on bare feet, frowning at the light drizzle outside.
"Oh lovely, rain."
"You don't have to be outside in it," Itachi told him, crossing his arms when Shisui tugged at his long, loose hair, frowning at the damp ends.
"I can dislike it from indoors, too."
Finally Itachi turned to him, one eyebrow raised. He looked tired, but that was hardly news. Somehow he always ended up carrying the world on his shoulders, whether asked to or not. Secretly, Shisui hoped that Itachi would not be chosen as Hokage. Not because he wouldn't do a good job, but because it probably wouldn't be good for his health. Even though Shisui really admired those parts of him, Itachi would fare better if he wasn't so strong and intelligent. There was no passion left in him nowadays.
"You need a few hours of sleep," he said, hoping it sounded convincing enough.
"I'll be heading out again soon, anyway."
"Thirty minutes won't hurt you."
They stared at each other, both too stubborn to give in.
"If I was able to go to sleep I wouldn't still be up."
Shisui took a deep breath, letting his shoulders fall in defeat as he exhaled. He placed a hand on Itachi's forearm, squeezing once.
"Alright, you can tell me about whatever bothers you. But do it in bed."
The look he got was irritated, but soon enough they were settled against the wall at the head of the bed, a bunch of pillows stacked behind their backs. He nudged Itachi's foot under the covers, their legs and sides touching. He slipped his hand underneath Itachi's where it lay pressed against his thigh, pleased when their fingers laced together comfortably.
"Doesn't it bother you," Itachi started, but then he didn't continue and rather watched Shisui like he expected an answer.
"Doesn't what bother me?" When Itachi huffed he huffed back at him, knowing full well what Itachi meant but refusing to do the job for him. "Your lack of sleep? The fact that we forgot to close the window? You'll have to specify, you know, because there are a lot of things bothering me right now."
"You really don't need to be this difficult," Itachi muttered, leaning his head back against the wall. "It bothers me that you're not bothered by the current state of affairs."
"I've accepted that there's nothing we can do about it. Anything else?"
Itachi sent him another look, turning his head. Shisui turned his as well, leaving them nose to nose and slightly cross-eyed if they tried to meet each other's gaze.
"You know I hate not knowing what's going on."
"Yes," Shisui sighed. "I do know. It's your only character flaw. You know more than almost everyone else, though."
"I'm going to remember that you said that."
He couldn't help but smile a little, leaning in to brush their lips together. No matter what, he was happy to have Itachi here with him. If only he knew how to clear the tension from his shoulders, how to smooth out the crease between his brows.
"You won't be able to figure out what's going on this time, Itachi. Not before it's already happened."
"And if it happens while I'm off checking on fake Menma at the hideout? Sasuke already got hurt."
Rolling his eyes, Shisui eased lower on the bed until he could put his cheek to Itachi's shoulder. Might as well get comfortable if Itachi was going to rattle off every little thing that could go wrong today.
"It's nice that you have so much faith in the rest of us."
"You know what I mean."
"I know that you're worrying too much. What's the worst that could happen?"
He could feel Itachi tense up with anger. And yeah, that was probably a stupid question to ask given what had already happened, but at least they'd be able to prepare for it.
"Either way," he continued, "if Naruto and the other Sasuke snap and attack us, we'll be doomed anyway. You saw the wreckage they left behind. No use in thinking about it."
"You say that like it doesn't matter to you."
Drawing in a breath, Shisui sat up to level Itachi with a hard look.
"I don't think that what you and I do is going to tip the scale in any way. What can we do, Itachi? Whatever's going on is too big for us. Dimension-hopping teenagers with godlike powers, used to death and destruction and fighting for the survival of the entire world? There's a reason Tsunade is too afraid to even lift a finger against them."
The silence felt heavy after his sudden outburst, Itachi avoiding his eyes. Everything had been tense lately, even though it was difficult to see Naruto and Sasuke as anything but, well, teenagers. They didn't always act very mature, or how you'd expect people with that kind of power would. And maybe that was the most worrying part of all. The fate of their world might depend on two boys who seemed to fumble their way through life, and no one knew if they were there to save it or destroy it.
"I don't think we need to worry about the two of them intentionally hurting us," Itachi said after a while, pushing one leg up and resting an elbow on his knee. "I worry that we'll be collateral damage when whatever brought them here shows up."
A short pause, just enough for a breath, and then Itachi's dark eyes caught his.
"And I worry that they'll hesitate because of us, and lose."
There was nothing Shisui could say to that.
Somehow, I feel like this chapter was kind of uplifting and sad at the same time. There's some angst coming up as we're slowly heading towards the finale... but no surprise deaths, promise (yeah I'm still not over that cursed fic I read). I should maybe add angst to the romance/drama/humor label though.
I think I've mentioned it before but this fic was supposed to be silly, like, just a humor fic. What happened?
I also, in my stomach-bug-induced haze, wrote the first couple hundred words to another silly fic where Sasuke is forced to fight chuunin-exam-style over Naruto's hand in marriage which he totally doesn't want anyways, until he does. It sounds silly and it is. Maybe one day I'll have time to actually write it... sigh.
I'm tired and rambling. Once we pass chapter 42 this will be the longest fanfic I've ever written if you count chapters (my other longest two fics both ended at ch 42, it's a good number). Cannot believe.
The chapter title is definitely about Sasuke. It's loosely inspired by a song by The Ark called Breaking up with god. If you're even a little bit gay you'll probably like their music.
Hearts to all of you!