Chapter 18: A talk, an investigation, and a black op…or two.

Alex Rider closed and locked the office door behind him and the room seemed to become graver. Alex could hear the clock ticking as Ian gathered his thoughts. He waited for his uncle to begin. Alex wondered which of his plans Ian had discovered this time. "Your pet is first on the agenda. Exactly what were you thinking when you decided to keep him, despite all the warning to the public and the obvious danger he poses?" Alex still didn't see the problem. His pet was a genetically modified wolf, so what? He'd trained it from before it would've had clear eyesight. Ian wanted to scream at the genuinely puzzled expression on Alex's face. This was reminding him far too much of John and Gregorovich. "Well, I found him hurt and decided to treat him. Then, I saw the news and thought they were exaggerating about the danger so they would get Fenrir back. I decided there was no way in hell I was giving a dog back to the sick fucks who hurt him in the first place." Ian held back his reaction. Not John. He reminded himself. He decided to take out the files, minus the pictures, and handed them to Alex. "Tell me we were exaggerating after you read this." Alex flipped open the file. The standard classified warnings were there. "Isn't this illegal?" Ian raised a single eyebrow. "So is not reporting an international assassin after spotting him." Alex decided shutting up was a good idea.

After Alex got done reading through Project Direwolf, the only thing he felt was a faint twist of disgust. The way they had treated the wolves had practically guaranteed failure. That the trainers had been eaten was somewhat their fault for not feeding their charges. The fact that the wolves were planned as weapons and could act in a multitude of ways, including corpse dogs, was well executed. He felt the strong urge to pet Fenrir again. "Well, it was their own damn fault for being idiots." Ian had a sinking suspicion that nothing would convince Alex that the pet he had played parent to was dangerous. "Besides, Fenrir hasn't even bitten anyone." Ian was suppressing a groan. "Yet. It's practically a matter of time." Alex rolled his eyes. "I doubt it. Fenrir is very well fed and humans aren't on the prey list for wolves." Ian gave him a look that suggested he hoped Alex was kidding. "They were meant for hunting people, Alex. It's a little different." Ian felt like he was losing this argument so badly it wasn't even funny. "I'm still keeping him." Ian sighed. "Fine, but you are reading that file every week until you memorize it, just so you know all the dangers involved." Alex had long ago nicknamed that tone of voice 'poisoned honey'. He knew that Ian was going to be a pain about this. Yassen and Jack had both griped. Tom and Jerry were both wary of Fenrir, but still acted like he was a normal dog. Alex supposed it was just something no one would get. His pet might be dangerous, but after Malagosto, he thought he could handle it.

Ian decided moving on was the way to go. "Item number two is up. How many poisonous plants can you possibly need? The garden is practically a biohazard. I'm glad you at least set a perimeter with thistles, but seriously? You have like a hundred of the world's deadliest plants." Alex rolled his eyes at Ian's exaggeration. "It's actually closer to fifty. Besides, they do look pretty and are commonly sold at garden stores. Some of them are medium poisonous and/or flammable, not all of them are heart-stopping, you know." The flammable ones were obviously useful and the medium ones were good if you wanted people sick, not dead. Ian flat-out glared at him. "Because fifty-ish is so much better. We might not have to call hazmat after all." Alex thought Ian was just being over dramatic at this point, actually… "If I'm not around to take care of them or die unexpectedly, you probably should. Some of them have toxic pollen and I don't want you to get any in your lungs." Ian felt like laughing and crying at the same time. If it was anyone else, he would find this hysterically funny. "Why do you need them?" Alex shrugged. "It's more of a just in case thing. Since I don't get official equipment, I'm making my own." Ian sighed. "If you did, would you get rid of the garden?" It was worth a try. Alex could have snorted at the bargaining, but he knew Ian was actually serious. "Probably not. I just have more faith in myself than relying on other people." Ian decided it was time for the responsible use of toxins talk, since Alex insisted on keeping them. They weren't really that different from a gun, but poison was just so...assassin.

"So, uh...what do you know about poisoning people?" Ian normally didn't do this sort of thing. They had people who taught agents and Crawley for this. "In general, technique-wise, or the biology of it?" Alex said with a sigh. He knew quite a bit, actually. "I mean morality, Alex." Ian was barely able to resist grating out. Alex shrugged. He hadn't much thought about it. "You poison someone and they get sick or die, so...don't do unless someone else is going to die if you don't." Was what Alex came up with on the spot. Ian sighed. This was actually kind of painful, but that would do. "Right, well if we go by the Bank's standards, the harm caused by the death has to be outweighed by the good." Alex gave Ian his most skeptical look. He didn't necessarily believe in the greater good as an abstract concept the way most of MI6 would. "I don't believe in the greater good, you know. There are good people and bad people and they do good and bad things, but the greater good just doesn't exist as an abstract concept for me. It always struck me as akin to serving a higher power. " Ian was startled. He had, after all, spent most of his life serving and believing in it. "Then why would you pick the million people?" Alex hadn't known they had completely different thought processes. "Because it would be the right thing to do." Ian's next thought was dry and unbidden. Well, at least he knows the difference between right and wrong. "Besides, the Bank is a rather low standard." Ian sighed. "Do you hate me then?" Ian, for all his intelligence, was an idiot sometimes. "No, I hate the idea of your job and having to do it. There is quite a bit of difference." Ian supposed he could live with that. At least Alex didn't want to spy, for now.

The silence that hit the room was rather awkward. Ian decided he would be going with the blunt approach. "So, we found a dead body together." Alex gave him a look drier than the Sahara. "You make it sound like a family activity, Ian. If it is, I'm calling social services." Ian snorted. "Damn it, Alex, I'm serious." Alex gave him a wry smile. "So am I, do you know how bad that thing smelled and how creepy it was once Fenrir dug it up?" Ian rolled his eyes. He was trying hard not to be amused, since it was an actual dead person. "I was there remember. I told you the shaggy horse wasn't a normal dog, but did you listen? Oh, no. It was: Ian, my dog is completely normal, minus the wolfish characteristics and horse-like size." Alex rolled his eyes. They both knew that dog wasn't going anywhere, even if it dug up a hundred more dead bodies. "Seriously though, if you ever find or make another one, you call me and the police after I get there." Ian's eyes were still glittering with amusement. Alex reflected that, right now, the resembled more of a chocolate brown and less of a frozen tundra. Alex wondered how many outstanding murder charges and investigations Ian had under aliases. It was probably best not to think about it. "Alright then. Was there anything else?" Ian sighed. "Yes, you don't get to escape my clutches just yet." Alex rolled his eyes at the bait. It was just too easy sometimes. "If you start having world domination plans and calling me 'my pretty', I'm throwing a glass of water at you." Ian thought about two of his ribs were cracking under the strain of not laughing at the mental images.

"On a more serious note, your friends seem to be having some issues at home." Ian said once he figured it was safe to speak and not start laughing. Alex's face darkened instantly. Oh yes, they were. The small spark of rage had begun to kindle and burn at the back of his mind. Soon there would be an inferno, if he didn't do something. "Yeah. Those parents just can't stop arguing. I guess they wanted a good night's sleep for school this week, since we have testing." Alex was going to keep his promise to Tom. Ian didn't believe that was nearly all, judging from the way Alex had looked. It reminded him a little too much of a time when John had lost his temper mid-mission. Ian didn't know what he had done, but even Blunt had looked afraid when he got the report. Jones hadn't looked either of them in the eyes for weeks. Ian suspected she had been afraid of what she would see. It had been earlier, before SCORPIA and before John had the iron self-control he had achieved after that. Alex looked like he was contemplating something deadly. Ian decided that in the end, it was his choice. He wondered how he should handle this, carefully he supposed. "Alex…" Ian couldn't think of words to convey his thoughts. "Yes, Ian?" Why was this hard? "Be careful." Alex seemed to get the underlying message. The expression hardened again. "I will." With that, he unlocked the office door. He couldn't shake the cold, icy certainty that something terrible was about to happen and that Alex would be at the center of it.

Alex read the journal in the privacy of his room. It contained nothing that would convince him of either innocence or guilt in this case. Alex looked up public records about the two. Today was his day to smash laws to pieces, apparently. They had actually filed for divorce earlier this time around. The judge seemed convinced that no amount of marriage counseling would help them. They would officially no longer be married come Monday. Alex remembered last time that Tom's parents had taken years to agree on what each one got and moving out. They had still been arguing at the time of his death, in fact. Alex decided that if they were going to take forever to move out, he would speed it on along. Come Monday, if Tom's dad wasn't out of the house, well…Alex would see. He decided it was time to text Yassen. Alex wondered if the man would help him with this. It was technically dangerous, but comparatively low risk to some of his plans. The reason he hadn't asked Ian was because it was a) majorly illegal and b) potentially fatal. If Tom's parents died, it was just what happened. They had a high probability of living, though, so Alex wasn't terribly worried. Alex studied late into the night, though he did not need to. He was nearly done with Russian and already on another computer language. Chinese would be next (specifically Mandarin). Getting the textbooks online would be almost passé.

When Yassen Gregorovich felt his phone buzz, he was quietly relieved. While he didn't mind being alone, it was not something that helped his paranoia levels in large crowds. He vanished on to the empty balcony to take the text.

Theoretically, how do I burn a house down and make it look like an accident?

-A

Yassen did an internal double take. He would need more information. Why on earth was Alex burning a house down? At least this was interesting, unlike the party. He made sure no one was watching before he sent a reply.

What brought on the sudden urge to commit arson?

-C

Alex sighed. He hadn't said no at least. Well, not right off the bat anyway. Ian would have definitely said no. It went down to the probability of Yassen and Tom ever meeting, which was low.

A friend is in trouble. If I burn down the house, he will be out of trouble. If it doesn't look like an accident, he will be worse off.

-A

Cossack sighed. Alex really needed a more normal set of problem-solving skills. Well, there was one way to find out if he was actually going along with this utter foolishness.

Can you do something about this legally? If I don't help you, will you do it anyway?

-C

Alex looked at the text. Well, if he got this wrong, he was completely on his own. Alex may respect Yassen, but he was intent on rescuing Tom. Besides, technically he wouldn't be lying.

Dude, I'm ten. The legal system and that don't go together. Yes, I will do it anyway. What kind of friend would I be if I left them to suffer?

-A

Cossack mentally sighed. This would be so much easier if Alex was an adult. He was so much like him, it was like a constant ache. Alex had a point, though. The legal system tended to discount children, though it was better more recently. He knew Alex wouldn't let him handle it either. This was personal and Yassen respected that. He would offer his help, but it would be conditional.

The practical kind. Fine, I will help you. On a few conditions. One, you will follow my instructions to the letter. Two, you will be nowhere near the fire when it starts. Three, at a certain point you will help me with something, no questions asked. Four, you keep me updated like you have been doing. Five, you stay far away from South America until I come back from assignment.

-C

Alex figured his help would be conditional. The man was kind of a control freak and seemed constantly worried. The favor wasn't currently pressing and Alex was sure Ian wasn't taking him to South America again any time soon. It was a personal item he wanted help on. Alex already knew that Tom was worth being in debt to the world's most ruthless assassin. He hoped this worked.

Fine, as long as what you want isn't too gruesome. Though I suspect if it was, you could do it yourself.

-A

Cossack felt a flash of smugness. He would bet money that Ian Rider hadn't been consulted on the latest moves of his nephew. The wolf was proof enough of that. Alex was right, of course. He would do it himself. The only reason he was going along with this was that he was going to start lesson two. Everything comes with a price and it is not always only money. If Alex got past a certain point, he would no longer be a functional member of normal society. It would be his choice every step of the way, but Cossack always had and endgame of his own. While he cared for Alex, it was not the selfless sort of love most people would imagine. He knew he was becoming increasingly possessive and fixated. It was only the thought that it would destroy him that held Yassen back. That and SCORPIA was on the fast track to destruction. He could see that it would become a threat to intelligence agencies that would have once tolerated it. The board members were aging or becoming arrogant. The restraint and caution they had once shown was slowly fading and the cold professionalism, while still there, was going to be driven out by some of the more outspoken board members. Malagosto was still the best school for assassination in the world, but the top agent for after Nile was a gaping hole as of the moment. People as good as him needed to be trained before the age's armies currently recruited at.

Yassen would handle the details on the plane ride tomorrow. Fortunately, he was not taking commercial airlines. The urge to poison some of the more obnoxious passengers was sometimes an issue with trained operatives, plus he could hardly afford to go to an airport with heavy disguise on both his and Nile's part. Alex was satisfied with the way he had handled both Ian and Yassen. The two of them made him nervous separately, let alone together. He prepared for bed in his usual way. Fenrir broke in again and Alex never had the heart to kick him out. He snuggled up to his wolf and reflected that, once again, he was drawn into the world of black ops as a solution.

Yassen got back from the party extremely late. Rothman insisted he stay late this time around. He privately hoped the rest of the board got sick of her soon. He settled on for his most vulnerable point by setting lethal traps on all of the entrances to his room. Technically, he was among allies, but it was best to be sure. It would be for no more than four hours anyhow. He never slept more than four hours. Yassen didn't dream and didn't have nightmares either, not anymore.

Alex didn't have issues going to sleep, but once he was asleep, things got weird. Alex once again was in a featureless room. Death was sitting at a table. Alex was a mixed bag at the moment and speechless, once again. "Am I dead again?" The figure sighed. "No, but I suppose that would be the assumption, given our last meeting." Alex looked at the figure in black. "What is it then?" Death gave him a wry look. "You were thinking about wanting to see me again. This is the result. Well, that and the fact I got bullied into giving you more help than I originally planned." Alex was confused. There are others? "I would have thought that Death would be the highest power." The man in black looked slightly pouty. "Sadly, no." Alex decided it was questions time. He might as well. "What about the fire dream?" Death gave him a look. "What about it?" Alex tried not to snap. "Was it a premonition?" "The thing about the future is that you get the choice as humans. Because of the whole free will thing, future stuff is unreliable and hazy at best, for mortals. Dreams are what you make of them. The dreams you get are all going to be like this or like that. I made it so you don't get nightmares, you know." Well, that was incredibly vague. "What's with the tattoo?" "One of my lesser known symbols. It helps me keep track of you." No, that wasn't creepy at all. "What happens if I die?" Death suppresses a groan. He was on his best behavior, after all. "It depends. If you are young, you just don't, though you end up with nasty scar tissue. If you are above about fifty-five or you commit suicide for some idiotic reason, then you go on or you can try again. If you somehow manage to get burned at the stake or something with entire body destruction, you are a dumbass and we will have a nice chat about time travel. If you live a long happy life and for some reason want to live another one, I can put you in different time periods and so on. It's really conditional."

Alex decided to ask. "So do you tell me what to do or what?" Death sighed. "What part of free will didn't you hear?" Alex rolled his eyes. "You can just say no." Death suppressed his reaction. "Besides, then we get into semantics about best and best for who. For example, you being a spy may have been best for the world, but not for you, the people you killed, or your loved ones." Alex ground his teeth. "Am I going about it right?" Death sighed. "In what way? You need to ask yourself what you want. There is no one right way, you know. Life is complicated that way." Alex hated vague little answers like that. "Can you at least change the tattoo?" The man in black snorted. "What to and where do you want it?" Alex thought for a minute. "Celtic sun made of fire and four black ravens in the place I used to have my bullet scar." Not exactly inconspicuous if anyone ever made him take his shirt off in a public setting, but he would have bigger problems if that were the case. "Will it grow with me?" Death just looked at him. "Off course." Alex knew Ian would kill him when he found out. It was worth not having a flower and having a cool tattoo instead. "Can I change it or hide it?" Death shrugged. "You can just ask me and I have no clue. Try makeup maybe? The theater stuff can cover just about anything." Alex had known that already. "So why do any of this?" Death just gave him an eerie look. "Because." Alex smirked. "You mean, you aren't sure yourself." Death supposed it was true enough. He had been bored before, but he had never done anything like this.

Death realized that it was almost time to wrap this up. "Any other questions, short stack, before I leave?" Alex rolled his eyes. "I'm only short 'cause I'm ten, you ass." Death gave him a look. "Would you rather have come back the day before your uncle died?" Alex sighed. "No need to be pissy." Death made to get up. "Wait! Why are things so different this time?" Death plopped himself in the chair. "There are a couple theories I can tell you. I didn't actually pay much attention before you started constantly almost dying, so I'm not actually sure. Plus, even if I was cause and effect on that scale is for you mortals to figure out on your own, so I would be banned from it." Alex mused. "Does anyone?" Death gave him a flat look. "Jones. Blunt. Yassen. Ian. Any of those ring a bell?" Alex thought about it for a minute. "Does anyone know about me?" Death tilted his head and his eyes seemed to focus on nothing for a minute. "No one you know. A few people you might meet later will figure out enough, but we digress slim." Alex wondered when he would pick a nickname. "Theory one. You are just noticing more than what you did before and acting accordingly, hence changing the outcome inch by inch. Theory two. The universe I sent you to has enough similarities that you pass as their Alex, but there are important differences you find out and/or cause. Theory three. I violated natural law to send you back. Ripples from that could have changed things. Theory four. Some being besides me decided to fuck with your life a little to make it 'better'." Alex felt a little overwhelmed. "Better for who?" Death had a nasty grin. "Now you start to see." "What do I do, then?" Death shrugged. "Whatever you want. That's what most people don't seem to get. There are always choices. There may not be good ones, but there are options." Alex supposed he had a point. "But what's the point?" Death wondered if he was dense sometimes. "The point is whatever you want to make it. You can go for good old-fashioned revenge, getting rich, whatever. If your life's ambition is to become a hobo, you can do that to. I'm not gonna tell you what you should do, since you get enough of that any way. I'm told a good way to start is to make a list of what you want and what you are willing to sacrifice, but I wouldn't know." Alex knew what his next school distraction was going to be. When he turned to tell Death what he thought, the man was gone and so was the room.

Alex felt like he was in freefall and spinning at the same time. He woke with a gasp and shot upright in bed. One glance at the clock tore a groan out of his mouth. It was four-thirty in the morning. Couldn't that bastard have given him more sleep? Suddenly, his chest began to burn and tingle. It felt like dozens of tiny needles were running across his skin. Alex began to breathe heavily. It burned. The only thing that kept him from screaming was the fact that he knew what third degree burns were like, among other things. He knew, vaguely, that his back was arched. Alex's hand and the edge of his bed were currently engaged in a death grip. Alex tasted metal and knew he had accidentally bitten the inside of his cheek. The sensation faded as quickly as it came. Alex decided that now was a great time to look in the mirror. He rubbed his eyes and flicked the bathroom light on. True to his word, the bastard in black had changed the tattoo. A fiery sun emblazoned his chest and four ravens flew away from it along his collarbone and shoulder blade. It was beautiful, at least. It made him less pissy than the flower. If he was branded like cattle, it would at least look nice. Alex felt a nose press against his hand. Fenrir was up to, it seemed. The wolf gave him its most pitiful look since Alex had adopted it. "Fine you furry rat, we can go for a walk. Let me get dressed first. This is not going to a habit." Ian would have a heart-attack if he knew Alex was going out before dawn, so Alex decided to just be back before anyone noticed. He put on reflective gear and decided it was time for a run.

Alex came back just as the sun was rising. True to his prediction, nobody was up. Seeing the streets that empty was eerie, like going to a ghost town. Fenrir was radiating heat, like he always did after a run. Alex and the wolf padded silently up the stairs. Alex showered and changed into his school uniform. He had packed his bag last night. He sat at his desk and checked his phone. The first round of instructions had been set by Yassen. More recon. Alex had figured and already adjusted Fenrir's walking schedule to suit his needs. More importantly, he needed to know what was going on in the house with the adults, since the kids were at his. That required either a lot of stalking he didn't have time for or listening devices and another B&E stint. Alex did still have to keep up his school attendance. He took another glance at the clock. Time to go. Jack and Ian both seemed to be up now. Tom and Jerry only blinked blearily at his wake-up call into their room as he went towards the kitchen. On habit, he took his array of poison and weaponry along with him. In his opinion, there was no such thing as too paranoid. Fenrir went down with him, gliding at his side across the carpet. Alex fed him only at night, but let the wolf stay at his side for whenever he was at home.

Ian Rider had woken the minute the door had opened at about five in the morning. Alex was so dead. At the same time, there really was no point in punishing him. Alex did what Alex thought was best when he thought it was best. Why the hell would he be up at four-something in the morning anyway? It could be nightmares. The thought sprung into his head. Ian himself went for workouts when he couldn't sleep or couldn't go back to sleep. Alex seemed to be keeping odd hours. At first Ian thought it might be the damn 'dog', but Fenrir seemed to cater to Alex's schedule, unlike most pets. Actually, the wolf was strangely quiet. There was no barking or howling at night and only a few shredded items. Ian really didn't see the appeal, but Alex had his mind set on Fenrir. Actually, the icy yellow-blue eyes reminded him of a far more human predator that seemed to have set his sight in Alex. Ian shuddered at the thought and decided it was best not to dwell to closely on the things Alex's new pet had in common with Gregorovich. He pulled on his suit. Ian had a homicide investigation to coordinate. Crawley would technically be on the job, but Ian knew the man was going to let him in on the investigation. Ian would be returning the bugs to Smithers today. He figured that six weeks was enough to get a feel for Alex's school life. No, he wasn't paranoid at all.

Alex felt Ian's eyes on him the minute his uncle came down the stairs. They flashed to meet his for a moment and then Ian's attention turned to his breakfast. Alex had deliberately picked one of Jack's lighter recipes for the morning to combat the nausea that he knew would come with the lack of sleep he had. Actually, he already felt the headache and burn of the acid at the back of his throat. He wondered if talking to Death counted as sleeping or not. It felt more like he had pulled an all-nighter. It was going to be a long day and he would leave the recon for later. Being tired made you sloppy and he couldn't afford to get caught. Tom and Jerry predictably ran late. With Jerry, it didn't matter so much because he was in his last year and already had gotten into his college, though he planned to take a gap year later on. Jack was getting impatient and Alex kept quiet for the car ride. They were both just barely on time. Their carpool didn't raise a single eyebrow. Then again, everyone knew that he and Tom were friend, plus the student body didn't yet have its rumor mill propensity like it would in a few years. Alex sat in his first period and suppressed a groan. It was going to be a long day.

Ian got to the Bank and reflected on his conversation with Alex. Like it or not, Alex was his own person. Ian knew that it was a completely different age than the one he had grown up and worked for the Bank in, but he hadn't felt the disconnect until after he talked with Alex. He wondered what Jones wanted with him, after all, Alex wasn't a patriot. Intelligent and athletic, occasionally manipulative, but otherwise not exactly ideal for intelligence work. Ian decided that maybe Tulip was just getting lonely in her old age. She had once had kids. Ian was so deep in thought that he nearly ran into both his boss and his coworker. They normally waited in or near his office. "What's up?" Ian knew he hadn't been caught giving the file to Alex or about anything else important. Crawley sighed. "Well, the body you found just caused an international incident." Ian was losing his patience. "So who the f- I mean who is it?" He hadn't gotten a lot of sleep the past few days, ok? Jones was going to let that one go by. Ian was under a lot of stress. "A Russian diplomat." Ian groaned. "Don't they die a lot anyway? Or get executed? Or have heart-attacks from cocaine while being with prostitutes?" Crawled resisted a snort. Rider must really be tired to let that one slip out. Jones rolled her eyes. Sometimes this was like herding ADD teenagers in a strip club.

"Actually, the man had a reputation for being extraordinarily difficult to corrupt. The Russians want in-" Cue the collective groans from the men. "- and we initially declined their help, since the murder is on our soil. They aren't pleased and threatened to hold up the international courts for this. The compromise we ended up with was that they would send a representative." Ian sighed. "Who is it?" The feeling of dread returned full force. "General Alexei Sarov." Ian laughed bitterly. "Well, is there anything else to top off the crap for this week?" Jones gave him a look that told him he was not going to fuck this up. "Sarov is demanding a symbolic function in which everyone on the investigation and their families have to attend to 'promote unity'. Including the Prime Minister and the diplomats of both parties." Ian wondered if he was having a bizarre nightmare. The blatantly politicking was one thing, the families was another. What on earth was Sarov playing at? Ian guessed having the kids there would prevent people from giving the pain-in-the-ass Cold War remnant a convenient heart attack, but was he really that paranoid? Yes, yes he was. Looks like Alex was getting emergency lessons for the week. Alex could handle himself in most formal functions, but this was a bit above that. Oh, well. That school was next to useless for him anyway. A week or so off wouldn't make a difference. Also, Alex had a bit of a mouth. No telling what the Russians would do with that. Not to mention, Alex knew the accursed language. That meant attention from creepy Russians…well nobody had to know about that right? Alex was going to stay away from the boring politicians surely? Ian would put that in the lessons.

Alex knew why Yassen didn't carry heart-stopping poison all the time. He only had to sit in a room full of loud, fidgeting, coughing, sneezing, chatty classmates and fight the urge to put a rosary pea or two in their meals. He was sure it was the lack of sleep. Tom, to his credit, seemed to have sensed his mood and sat them at a table by themselves. "Thank you, Tom." His friend gave him a wan smile. "Just try not to kill them mate. I know you get bothered by the noise sometimes. They mean well, you know." Tom offered Alex his hand. Alex took it and felt a squeeze. Alex spent the rest of lunch eating awkwardly with one hand and having Tom hold his other. This was why he had come back. He didn't want to lose this. And sitting there with Tom? It was the first time he felt like he belonged anywhere since Ian died the first time around. Alex bit back a curse as the bell rang. Tom didn't share any of their next classes and his shitty mood was coming back full force. Alex mentally counted back from one hundred and decided that he was going to use his phone to hack the school mainframe. Nothing destructive enough to get him locked up, but it would keep him entertained. Alex was in. The power was connected to the principal's computer….how insecure and fortunate for Alex. Alex was feeling vindictive today, not enough to actually murder anyone, but enough to wreak havoc.

The rest of the day was significantly more amusing for Alex and significantly less educational for his classmates. Between fire drills every thirty minutes, only to have the notice to the fire department canceled, non-stop blasting of twisted kiddy songs in five different languages at random intervals over the intercom, malfunctioning bells and sprinklers going off at random, even the best teacher couldn't function. Alex was shaking with suppressed laughter by the end of it. The teachers were furious. His classmates were hysterical, laughing, or wearing a puzzled expression. The principal was screaming at the department of education over the phone. The teachers had lost any sense of decorum about an hour into it. A few people were even crying. Tom knew Alex had something to do with this. Rule one in his life was that Alex was always involved, even when he wasn't. This was hysterical and Alex was at his usual God status in Tom's eyes. This was beautiful and Alex was epic. Plus, his friend seemed to be the only one who was amused by this. It was insane. Tom couldn't even fathom how Alex had pulled this without getting caught, but he knew who to call if he wanted unequivocal havoc wreaked. The principal was ranting and had gathered the school in the cafeteria. The person, if they were ever caught, would be expelled blah, blah, blah. Tom and Alex both burst out laughing the minute they were away from prying eyes. Alex's eyes were dancing. "Did you see the look on their faces?" Tom couldn't stop laughing long enough to answer. Funny how breaks in routine shattered most people.

Jack Starbright took one look at the unholy glee on both boys' faces and decided it was best not to ask. She knew they would be hearing from the school soon enough if they had done something. Boys would be boys and she didn't begrudge them their fun, so long as it was harmless. Alex would never deliberately harm someone as far as she knew. Ian was continuing with his erratic interest in Alex's life and had informed her that Alex would not be attending school for most of a week. She could just about scream. It was almost like Alex wasn't allowed to have a normal life. She wondered if slipping Ian a copy of Codependent No More would get her fired. Probably. But there was no way that relationship was healthy. Random school withdrawals for weird lessons for an even weirder business gathering. Jack didn't pry, but she felt like she was missing a piece or eight of the puzzle. At least Alex seemed happy and relatively well-adjusted. She felt a rush of warmth towards Tom and Jerry for bringing Alex back to normal-ish. Oh, well. She would let Ian handle this one. Tom hadn't stopped laughing the entire way back. Jack had left three messages on their parents' phone. If they wanted their kids back, they knew where to get them. In the meantime, Tom and Jerry would be well taken care of. At least Ian's creepy coworkers weren't coming around anymore. One of them was even named Crawley, for Christ's sake! Jack couldn't think of a more fitting name, personally.

Alex knew Jack would probably not tell them off without evidence, even though Tom had still not quit laughing. Alex nudged his friend once they got to the house. Tom now limited himself to the most shit-eating grin Alex had ever seen. Alex rolled his eyes, but he was still thoroughly entertained himself. Jack was just looking at them with a single eyebrow raised. Alex thought she must be trying not to laugh. The fire-red of her hair and amused cast to her face made her look her (fairly young) age. Alex personally thought she was very pretty; he wondered how she would take it if he gave her clothing advice for her dates. Alex had considered disguising himself as a woman more than a few times. He was secure enough in his sense of self that he didn't much care what kind of clothes he wore. He actually liked helping people with that sort of thing, but if he did it with anyone close to his age… Alex sighed. His classmates were so immature (no, there was no irony there, not at all.). Alex had made sure to cover his tracks in case anyone actually competent checked the computers. No telling what Jones would do to him if she found out. Jones was just paranoid to investigate herself, too. Alex flicked on the news. Well, oops. The massive malfunction (the vultures called it) had made the news. As luck would have it, Ian picked that exact moment to come home from work and walk into the room. His eyes immediately went to Alex. "What?!" Ian just raised an eyebrow. "Innocent until proven guilty, Ian dearest." Ian actually snorted. "Only in America, Alex. In Britain, the accused holds the burden of proving their innocence." Alex allowed a wry twist of his lips. "An outdated and prejudicial tradition, Ian. Besides, you can't prove anything." Ian rolled his eyes. "I'm not the one you have to convince. We are going to have another talk after dinner." Alex was beginning to wonder if he shouldn't get Ian a social life.

When Ian saw the news, he knew it was Alex. It was always Alex. If Alex couldn't find trouble, he made trouble. It was all he could do to keep from laughing. Personally, he found it extremely amusing. It wouldn't be setting a good example if he did, though. Plus, if anyone actually found out it was Alex, they could get him arrested. In Ian's opinion, the charges would be totally trumped up for a harmless bit of fun. They had actual terrorists to arrest, the time and money spent on arresting preteens for harmless bits of fun was a shame and a waste of resources. The principal was rattling on about due diligence and shoddy parenting and apparently targeting goths. Ian exchanged a look with Alex. "He really doesn't have a clue about his students, does he?" Alex rolled his eyes. "Nope, and even if you bought him one, I doubt he would understand it." Ian snorted. Was that moron really in charge of a school? "Of course, the vice principal and the secretary are far more astute and diligent. He isn't that bad at the administration portion, but I think he forgot what being a kid was like." Ian wouldn't really know, but he supposed Alex knew what he was talking about. "Just as well I'm pulling you out for a week, then." Alex jumped up. "What?! Why? You are the first person who ever told me education was important!" Ian took on a placating tone. "Easy, Alex. It's only for a week. You are getting a different education for a work thing that came up." Alex felt a growing sense of dread. "What is it?"

Ian had explained it to him. Alex felt like puking. Sarov was coming. The insane general who wanted to blow up half of Russia. The guy he had watched commit suicide. Ian finally seemed to notice how pale he was. "It won't be that bad, you know. Actually, you'll probably be very bored, just try not to look like it." Ian continued with his reassurances, not that Alex could hear much of them. Oh, he could hear and understand his uncle, but he was more focused on the memories of the plane, Conrad, and the final, singular gunshot. Alex hoped that he looked less like the man's beloved Vladimir this time around. Alex had actually visited the grave- the resemblance was very real and quite striking. Also, a bit creepy. The fact that he now spoke Russian like the man had wanted made him all the more uneasy. Ian was now talking about how important it was that they took it seriously and that he would need a manners brush up and a suit and how not causing a diplomatic incident was very important. Alex was suddenly glad he paid attention to everything at Malagosto. He could kill someone while exhibiting perfect manners and conduct. This week wouldn't be too bad, then at least. Alex was packing his gun, knives, and every poison he owned for good measure. There were far too many important targets in one place for his comfort.