Writing this chapter was a slow and painful process. Be nice to me.

Chapter 53: On the other side of things

xxx

Itachi waited by the portal. The night had passed, and most of the day, too. He couldn't eat, couldn't sleep. Shisui had brought pillows and blankets, forcing him to at least sit down.

They were alone for the moment, staring at the smooth stone and nothingness above it. So many people had come by; his parents had stayed for several hours, but there were things to do, plans to make, worst case scenarios to prepare for. Itachi could not bring himself to move.

For all the trust he'd promised his brother, doubt tried to poison his mind. What if it was too late? What if Itachi should have gone with him? What if he was hurt, or dying, and there was nothing he could do other than sit here uselessly, wasting time with each breath.

"At least the world hasn't ended yet," Shisui mumbled, hugging his knees. "That's got to count for something, right?"

All he could manage was a weak smile.

Nothing he'd tried had managed to activate the portal, though he'd been too worried about damaging it to try all his ideas. It might be their only chance at returning…

The minutes passed, slowly, as if dragging their feet. His body ached from sitting still, his muscles too tense. With Shisui's hand in his, he wondered if this was how he'd meet the end of the world. Not fighting. Not working to save it. Just sitting quietly, waiting for the end.

"Do you think–"

Before Shisui could finish his sentence, a bright light flickered within the portal before the stone crumbled into dust, softly and silently, like the whisper of a wind had shattered it.

Itachi stared at it, or rather the empty space where it had been, frozen in shock.

It was gone.

Just like that.

His eyes met Shisui's, wild and panicked.

If it really was the end, he was grateful not to face it alone.

xxx

What does a god feel?

He felt Menma's arms around him, his presence like a protective shield against the world.

He felt hollowed out, his insides replaced with chakra.

He felt too unmoored to make sense of what he felt, too lost to even begin to find his way back. One time as a child he'd gotten lost in the big forests surrounding Konoha. The trees had loomed above him as the sun set in the evening, the chill creeping under his skin as he sat huddled against a tree trunk. He couldn't remember how or why he'd gotten lost, or how long it took someone to find him – but that moment, staring up through the branches as the sky darkened, stood out clearly in his memory.

An eerie memory, from a different life.

Menma kept his cheek pressed to Charasuke's head, ran a hand up and down his arm. The warmth of him felt strange, fuzzy around the edges. He could remember him, too. Could remember everything the same way he'd remembered it this morning, waking up after anxious sleep.

He wondered, idly, if gods ever slept.

He didn't want to think about what would happen now. A decision made in a moment, the consequences unfathomable. He couldn't simply stand up and keep going. But he couldn't drown himself in despair either, could he? He was sure, that if it were Sasuke or Naruto who had eaten the fruit, they wouldn't have crumbled like this. They would have gotten up immediately, kept going, their will to go on burning so bright. They must have faced death so many times, he thought. Was facing eternity worse?

"Sasuke."

Menma's voice was soft, soothing. So unlike the harsh words of the past weeks. Charasuke didn't dare reply. The apology still echoed in his head, but he wasn't so sure he could forgive him. Still, he tightened his grip on Menma's shirt, burrowing his face into his neck.

"Sasuke, it's okay. You'll be fine. I promise."

"What if I'm not?"

His voice sounded hoarse from all the crying, his throat raw and painful as he swallowed.

"You will be."

He sounded so sure. Menma ran his fingers through his hair, so gentle. The way he only did when he thought Charasuke was already asleep. It brought fresh tears to his eyes, wondering if he'd have to give it all up, if he could never go back home. Maybe they could stay here, instead. If he could stay in Menma's arms, believe in his reassuring words, and pretend nothing else mattered.

Straightening up, Charasuke wiped away his tears, watching Menma's concerned face. He looked softer. Less haunted.

His heart beat heavily in his chest, all the feelings he'd tried to bury resurfacing. He doubted he'd ever be able to forget him.

"You're different," he said, grabbing Menma's jaw and turning his face this way and that. "What happened to you?"

He could see Menma's chakra clearly, both his own and that of the kyuubi. When Menma frowned, he let go, hand lowering awkwardly.

"Who knows," Menma said with a half-shrug. "I feel better. Less… anguished."

They stared at each other for a long moment. Gradually, Charasuke started feeling less off-kilter. It was less frightening if he wasn't the only one who'd changed.

"Are you going to stop acting like a jerk?" he asked.

Guilt flashed in Menma's eyes, his lips tensing.

"I'm sorry," he said. "I… I don't know how to explain."

Charasuke shivered. Menma mistook it for him being cold, wrapping him up in his arms again. Leaning his cheek on Menma's shoulder, he thought back to the last night of their latest mission together. They'd slowed down their pace, spending the night camping in the woods just on the edge of Konoha territory. They'd argued while Charasuke cooked dinner, and then Menma had swept his feet from underneath him (in the literal sense), smug look on his face until Charasuke pulled him down as well. They'd rolled around in some strange version of foreplay, fighting with no real bite to it.

It had been exhilarating.

"Even though I wanted you to apologize, it's weird to hear it," he mumbled, sneaking a hand underneath Menma's shirt, pressing his palm to his stomach. "It's good that you're feeling better."

It's good that you're alive, he left unsaid.

xxx

It was not a comfortable climb, and it seemed endless. Sasuke gritted his teeth and kept going, heartbeat heavy in his chest. He tried his best not to think, but there wasn't much else to do. He thought of Naruto and his family that was not his real family, and he thought of the Konoha where he was born and his brother and all the mistakes he'd made in life.

He thought of the morning Naruto had barged into his kitchen, the last day of his probation. How peaceful it had been, and how little he had appreciated it.

He thought of Naruto's feelings for him, stared them in the face and acknowledged his own in return. There was no point denying it. No need sorting it all through. It was what it was and he'd follow him to the end of the world, and this may very well be his second time doing so.

Naruto was not one to give up, and neither was Sasuke. They would fight until their dying breaths if needed. If – and that was certainly an if at the moment – they survived this, he considered never fighting again. Maybe being a ninja wasn't all there was to be. It hadn't been so bad, building houses. Though, he knew that as long as Naruto remained a ninja, he could never quit. No matter how tiring, no matter how painful, he'd fight by his side.

Maybe he was being sentimental, but that tended to happen when death became a real possibility. If there was ever a time to self-reflect, it was when time was running out.

He glanced at Naruto, climbing silently beside him. His expression was one of calm determination, and it was strangely comforting. Guilt and worry clawed at him, but Naruto was looking ahead, not into the past.

"I think I can see the branches now," Naruto said, gesturing upwards with his chin. "What do you think?"

Squinting, Sasuke nodded in agreement.

"I think my fingers might fall off if we don't reach the top soon," Naruto added jokingly, mouth shaping a quick grin. "We should have brought Lee for this, I bet he'd reach the top in half the time it's taking us."

Shaking his head fondly, Sasuke had to wonder where Naruto found the strength for jokes.

"Save your breath for climbing," he replied, rolling his eyes when Naruto pouted at him. "We don't know what's waiting up there."

"Pretty sure it's nothing bad, though."

When Sasuke raised an eyebrow, Naruto shrugged at him.

"I just don't think Hagoromo is the type to wait this long to make us watch him take over the world. And why would he release all the jinchuuriki? The more I think about it, the less I believe he's still alive."

"We haven't found Menma yet."

Another shrug, like Naruto had already decided that everything was fine, and so it had to be.

"It's a big tree. He could be anywhere."

"You're taking this very lightly, all of a sudden."

Naruto bit into his lower lip, tilting his head up again before resuming the climb.

"It just seems like the least of my problems at the moment."

"Oh, does it?"

"Why don't you save your breath for climbing? We'll see soon enough."

Gritting his teeth, Sasuke forced down a snappish reply. This wasn't the time to argue.

The light grew brighter the closer they came, the massive branches barely succeeding in blocking it. Sasuke felt his heart pound in his chest, his body growing numb with fatigue. The silence bore down on them, oppressive. His shoulders felt heavy with it, but Naruto led the way and all he could do was follow.

When they at last reached the source, a glowing sphere doing its best to blind them, Naruto reached for his hand.

"What do you think it is?" he asked, keeping his voice low.

Sasuke had no idea. It could be anything. Hagoromo could be inside, evolving like a butterfly inside its cocoon. It could be empty.

"Anybody in there?" Naruto called, before he had the chance to answer.

"What are you doing?" he hissed at him, tugging at his hand to take a few steps back. "You have no idea what–"

"Naruto?"

They shared a look.

"Menma?" Naruto took a few steps closer, Sasuke reluctantly sticking to his side. "Is that you?"

"Yeah, we're inside. You can just go through the light."

"Huh." Naruto made a face, like we might as well, and despite his reluctance, Sasuke couldn't think of anything better to do. "Alright, coming through!"

Passing through the light was like passing through a shadow. It didn't feel like anything at all, not like passing through chakra, and Sasuke quickly realized he'd braced himself for no reason. He kept a hand over his eyes, only lifting it when the light went from agonizingly bright to bearable.

Inside the sphere sat Menma, Charasuke cradled against his chest. One of his hands was tangled in Charasuke's hair, the other wrapped around a shoulder. Charasuke's face was hidden, but he didn't look unconscious.

He was alive, even though he shouldn't be there at all, and the relief made Sasuke's shoulders sag for a moment.

"Told you it was fine," Naruto said, punching him lightly in the arm. "You guys okay?"

"For the most part," Menma replied, looking uncomfortable.

"What do you mean?" Sasuke asked sharply, scrutinizing Charasuke's form for anything out of the ordinary.

The swirling lights underneath the skin on his neck and hands brought him up short.

The third eye on his forehead as he sat back, grimacing, robbed the breath from his lungs.

His eyes were no longer the familiar black that Sasuke used to see in the mirror when he was younger. Instead, there were two purple ones, and one dark red.

Something cold ran down his spine at the sight. Charasuke wasn't looking at him, face downturned as he picked nervously at his nails. Other than that he looked the same – physically unharmed, at the very least.

"Where the hell did that third eye come from?" Naruto asked, gaping at him. "What did you do?!"

Charasuke tensed, mouth thinning into a line. Sasuke feared the answer, lungs struggling for air. He couldn't understand it. He'd left Charasuke at the orphanage, but his gut feeling had been right.

"He ate the chakra fruit," Menma said, and Sasuke could no longer stand still.

He crouched down in front of Charasuke, taking his hand. It felt cold to the touch, the lights swirling in rapid patterns, too quick to follow.

"I'm okay," Charasuke said, mustering up a smile. "We're all alive, and the world didn't end, so…"

There must have been something in his expression, because Charasuke squeezed his hand, finally meeting his eyes.

"Don't be upset," he pleaded. "I had to follow you."

"I…"

He stared down at Charasuke's hand, brain struggling to make sense of it. It was Charasuke that Hagoromo had felt. He'd eaten the chakra fruit, so that Hagoromo never could. And now…

Drawing in a deep breath, he squared his shoulders and pushed away the panic threatening to paralyze him.

"I'm sorry," he choked out, the strength of his regret almost overwhelming. "I promised nothing would happen to you."

"I chose this," Charasuke disagreed. "I–"

He paused, mouth twisting into a wry smile.

"I finally did something useful, didn't I?"

Sasuke fought down the lump in his throat, placing his other hand on top of Charasuke's, gripping it tight. He didn't realize he was crying until he felt one of Charasuke's hands on his cheek, wiping a tear away. He wasn't sure why it hurt so much. He felt so lost, so full of agony. It made no sense, but he couldn't help it.

Bowing his head, he allowed the tears to fall down on their hands. Felt them burn in his eyes, felt fire in his chest with every breath. It was over, and it seemed all he could do was weep.

"Don't cry for me," Charasuke whispered. "I cried enough on my own."

"I can't help it." Shuddering, he tried to even out his breathing, tried to wrestle back control. "I just–"

Charasuke snatched his hands back, and as quickly as his tears had appeared, they ceased to fall. He blinked away the wetness in his eyes, frowning as the hollowness twisting like knives inside him left with Charasuke's touch.

"That was… you?"

Grimacing, Charasuke rubbed his palms over his thighs, avoiding eye contact. It must have been, and Sasuke sucked in a breath at the realization. He knew the pain he'd felt through Charasuke, familiar in its intensity. It was how he'd felt after losing his family, after losing his brother. It was how he felt each time he thought Naruto was dead.

"Maybe I shouldn't touch anyone," Charasuke murmured, shifting out of Menma's hold. "I'm barely in control as it is."

"I was fine," Menma protested, but he didn't try to pull Charasuke back.

"How about we go back home and get some rest?" Naruto suggested, his gaze switching between Sasuke and Charasuke. "And some food, maybe."

Nodding, Charasuke stood up. He swayed a little on his feet, steadying himself and scowling at Menma when he attempted to help.

"I'll get you home," he said, running his hands through his hair and slapping at his cheeks. "Just give me a moment."

"You'll get us all home, you mean." They stood, and Naruto stepped closer, brushing against Sasuke's side. "We're not going anywhere without you."

He glanced at Sasuke, who sent back a grateful nod. He was still reeling a bit from all of Charasuke's emotions, but Naruto was right.

"Don't be stupid. I can't go home like this, can I?"

The three of them stared at Charasuke, until he groaned and shook his head.

"I'm not going home with three eyes!"

"You think we care how many eyes you have?" Naruto glared at him, and Sasuke could kiss him for it.

Menma looked like he didn't dare say anything, and Sasuke's throat felt too raw to speak. The thought of Charasuke staying behind, all alone… He'd never allow it. He hoped Naruto had the words to convince him.

"It doesn't matter what you think," Charasuke bit back. "What do you think is going to happen if I come back like this?"

"I think everyone will be happy to see you alive and safe," Naruto argued. "Just look at these two. They're heartbroken! Are you going to make Sasuke cry again? Are you going to make me fight you for it?"

"I can't," Charasuke said, hugging himself tightly.

"You're a chakra god now, there's probably nothing you can't do!" Naruto waved his arms for emphasis, working himself up to a full rant. "If the eye bothers you so much, just hide it! Stay in your room for a month until you figure it out if you have to! But if you think I'm going to deal with Sasuke moping around over you being stuck in some other dimension all alone, well think again!"

"But I–"

"Nope. No. Absolutely not."

Sasuke felt his mouth tugging at the corners, breathing easier with Naruto taking charge and dissolving the tension. Resigned, Charasuke looked at them helplessly. Despite the power in his eyes he looked so young. He was still himself, and Sasuke shook the last remnants of shock from his limbs and walked over to him.

"Like Naruto said, we're not going anywhere without you."

"What if I lose control?" Charasuke asked, fingers digging into his arms. "You don't know how close it was. You don't know how long it took."

"Maybe you'll feel better without this creepy tree looming over you," Naruto said.

"I know I would," Menma muttered.

"I feel like you're not taking this seriously," Charasuke complained. "I could lose control and try to take over the world."

"But why would you?"

"I don't know!"

Naruto clicked his tongue at him, effectively riling him up as he pointed a finger at him.

"I could lose control over Kurama any day and go on a rampage. Menma already did, didn't he? And Sasuke tried to kill all the kage and stuff. I don't hear you telling us to stay behind for other people's safety, so. You're not special."

"I ate the chakra fruit!" Charasuke paced back and forth, gesturing back at Naruto, chakra billowing around him like a cloak. "I don't think that's comparable!"

"Uh-huh, but you're really mad at me and you haven't tried to kill me at all. Sasuke would have tried at least once by now."

That made him pause. Sasuke rolled his eyes, because he was long past the days where he'd make an attempt at Naruto's life. If he missed on purpose it didn't count.

"There's no point arguing with him when he's like this," he told Charasuke, who stood gaping at Naruto. "You'll never win."

"He's extremely annoying."

"Trust me, I know."

"Hey! Don't be mean."

Muttering to himself, Charasuke resumed his pacing. Sasuke ignored Naruto's offended pouting in favor of watching him, the way he clenched and unclenched his fists as he walked.

"What if I can't go back?" Charasuke asked, pausing abruptly. "I have no idea what's going to happen if I try. Or how long I'll be able to act like myself. I'm like, this close to losing myself to some kind of void."

"Only one way to find out," Naruto shrugged, and it had to be on purpose just to prove his earlier point because Charasuke looked almost murderous.

After a few moments of glaring hard, he closed his eyes and breathed in deeply, as if to calm himself. Sasuke couldn't imagine what it must be like. When the Sage had given them their powers, there hadn't been much time to think. It hadn't felt so invasive, either, mostly like a power boost. The Rinnegan had taken a few minutes to properly control, but he'd been used to the Mangekyo. Charasuke had barely had his Sharingan for days.

"There's no rush," he said, elbowing Naruto when he looked like he might object. "Feel free to ignore Naruto."

"No, he's right," Charasuke sighed, interrupting Naruto's spluttering. "I just hate that he is right, you know? If we're going to stay here until I have myself in order it'll take weeks."

He shuddered, staring blankly at the ground for a moment. The lights underneath his skin simmered and died out, his jaw clenched with the effort.

"I can put off the rest of the panicking until we get back," he added, forcing out a weak smile. "It's like… seeing two things at the same time. Makes me a bit nauseated."

"You were really upset when I found you," Menma pointed out, earning himself a dark look. "I'm surprised you're acting so normal now."

"I got better."

Lights started swirling underneath his left hand again. Annoyed, he shook it, and somehow it seemed to work.

"And… It's easier, when you're all here," he confessed, staring at a point above Sasuke's shoulder as he said it, thinning his lips. "I'm just not sure I want Itachi to see me like this. The guilt might kill him."

Sasuke couldn't argue with that. Naruto, on the other hand, could.

"He'll live," he said. "Otherwise we will have to explain why you didn't come back with us, and yeah, that's not happening."

Somewhere in the middle of Naruto's sentence, the world around them had shimmered out of focus, like trying to keep your eyes open under water. It only lasted for a second, and as Sasuke tried to blink it away, he realized they were no longer standing on a branch inside the tree's crown.

"Convenient," Menma commented, turning his head back and forth to take in their new surroundings.

They were back where he and Naruto had started climbing, the jinchuuriki peacefully wrapped inside their cocoons. Naruto's mouth had fallen open in surprise, and Sasuke leaned over to snap it shut with a finger.

"That felt so weird," Charasuke said, scrubbing his hands over his face. "I don't like this, I don't like this at all."

"Did you at least do it on purpose?" Sasuke asked, curious.

He'd barely felt it, other than that blur to his vision. When Naruto used his hiraishin it felt sort of like being caught up in a strong wind, and Sasuke's Rinnegan felt a little bit like being sucked into a hole. This was a lot more pleasant in comparison.

"Mostly on purpose," Charasuke replied, grimacing. "I'll open a portal for us before I have time to change my mind about it."

He looked pained as he stared at a spot nearby, biting at his lips. The glowing sphere had followed him down, lighting up a much larger area now. Even though he himself wasn't actually glowing, there was no doubt that the light emanated from him.

Sasuke was too drained to think about the details. The air shimmered in the spot Charasuke focused on, reflecting the light differently. It was different from Hagoromo's portals – or perhaps it just felt less sinister. The oval shape was the same, at least, and Naruto was the first to walk over to it. He seemed to have gotten over his surprise, circling it with a thoughtful look on his face.

"You sure it'll get us home?" he asked, reaching out to run his fingers through it. "Feels kind of like water, that's cool."

"I guess we won't know until we go through." When they turned to look at him, Charasuke shrugged. "It's the best I can do, so…"

Before Sasuke could react, Naruto dipped his head through the portal. A few seconds later he lifted a hand to give them a thumbs-up, but he didn't pull back until a minute or so had passed.

"Yup," he said, shoving his hands down his pockets with a lopsided grin. "I don't know why Itachi would be waiting in some creepy-looking cellar, but he was pretty happy to see me!"

No sound had passed through the barrier, but they all exhaled with relief.

"Next time, don't just shove your head through things," he muttered, Naruto rolling his eyes at him.

"If Charasuke wanted to kill me he could have done it with much less effort."

"Please stop saying things like that." Charasuke looked a little pale, his arms crossed tightly over his chest. "You're giving me horrible visions of potential future realities."

Silence followed his words. Sasuke wasn't sure of what to say – he was trying his best now to ignore what exactly Charasuke had to deal with at the moment.

"Okay," Naruto said eventually, clearing his throat. "How about we carry these guys through the portal, then?"

He gestured at the cocoons, and Sasuke gratefully got to work. His head was spinning a bit, his body aching from the tension release. Neither of them said anything, silently agreeing that Naruto would go through the portal to organize things on that side.

Strangely enough, Sasuke could still feel him on the other side of it. Maybe this place where the tree grew was still connected to that dimension… He shook his head, deciding not to question it. Once all eight were through, and Menma had joined them as well, Sasuke caught the hesitation on Charasuke's face.

"Just go through," he said, staring expectantly at him.

"I'll have to go last," Charasuke said, twitching when Sasuke narrowed his eyes. "I'll do it! No need to look at me like that."

Sasuke stared at him for a few seconds, searching his face. It was difficult to judge the look in his eyes, the way they looked now.

"We'll figure something out," he said, a little awkwardly.

"Uh-huh." Even though Charasuke sounded skeptical, some of the tension seemed to leave him. "Does that mean I can blame you if we don't?"

"If you need to."

Charasuke sighed. Something about him was just a little off, a little different. Not just the eyes – it was as if his presence had changed, too.

"Pretty sure this was Kaguya's plan all along, don't you think? I can't complain if it saved the world but… Is saving the world always this bittersweet?"

"That's a strange way of describing it."

"I feel strange, so."

"Well." Sasuke raised an eyebrow, taking an impatient step towards the portal. "I think you've made Itachi wait long enough."

Mouth thinning into a line, Charasuke followed him until they stood directly in front of the portal. He looked apprehensive, eyeing the portal like it was a snake ready to strike.

"I really don't know how to explain this to mom," he muttered, grimacing.

Sasuke considered simply pushing him through.

"If you're less than a second behind me I'll come back and make you regret it," he said, and walked backwards through the portal.

xxx

Itachi's heart beat too hard in his chest. He hadn't been able to breathe properly, even though Naruto had come through the new portal, even though they'd carried the unconscious jinchuuriki through, even though Menma had joined them on the other side.

There was something about the way Naruto wouldn't properly answer his questions. Something about the way Menma had lost the tension around his eyes, the sharp edge his every word had been tinged with, and yet–

Something about the uneasy anticipation as they waited for his brother and his counterpart to come through, no explanations given as the seconds went by.

"They're taking their time," Shisui mumbled, placing a hand of comfort on the small of his back.

Itachi swallowed. A moment later, the portal wavered as the other Sasuke stepped through, back first. The tension in his body gave Itachi a momentary warning that there really was something wrong with his brother, but when he entered through the portal he couldn't hold back a noise of distress as one thing became clear to him.

Whatever price needed to pay for their continued existence…

His brother had been the one to pay it.

Me: "...and backflipped through the portal."
Me: Or maybe not

This chapter is also a bit short bc if I don't post it now, who knows if I ever will. Some chapters just be like that.

I'm constantly behind on reviews and at this point it's just embarrassing to apologize. But I love you all so much for reading and that's why I pushed through and made myself finish and post this! Don't worry about Charasuke, he'll be okay. Mostly, at least. Pretty sure Menma and Charasuke will have The Talk next chapter, we'll see how that goes!

Eurovision is soon - who's your favorite? If you're watching the first semi-final, send me a thought since it's on my birthday. My favs so far are Norway, Ireland, and Czech Republic. It's incredibly amusing to me that The Rasmus are going to compete for Finland. Honorary fav.

I hope you're all taking care of yourselves!