Chapter 10: Tempted by the Nightmare

This was not at all how I wanted to go about this. My big reveal shocked and shook the masses. The perfect distraction! "Well, Jeff!" I shouted from the elevated hill I stood on. "You got what you wanted! What now? Going to capture me; try to make me a slave too?"

Jeff seemed impressed that he was correct about his assumption. "See, everyone! I fucking told you, I'm not crazy! Get him! I'll handle these settlers."

I could see the looks of Mike, Cat, and Harden. They were gagged and bound to the ground. It was a row of settlers, and more just kept getting added by the force of raiders.

It's easy to tell that they wanted to surround me. Fortunately, I never unstrapped my satchel. I pulled out the shotgun I gained from the bridge and began firing like mad, running down the dirt ramp into the center.

I took out two of the raiders that charged me with two of the shots I made in my charge. My effort was to reduce the number of casualties on the side of Megaton. Save as many settlers as I could.

No sense in hiding or holding back. The truth was out! I avoided some gunfire from the top. The raiders were panicking, so I drew in for Jeff. If I can slay him, the rest of the crew might just falter.

I gave him no time to even try to hit anyone with his accursed bat. The amount of panic he had when I drew closer, aiming at him with unbridled rage!

He said nothing; he just ran. Past the Nuke in the center of town, it's the namesake of the place, I figured. As much as I wanted to chase him, this was a perfect opportunity to free the citizens.

I started along the row. Mike, Cat, and Harden took priority, and then a few others. I kept my eyes open, and it seems most of the raiders dispersed. Fear orders? I wasn't sure. "Handle the rest of the captives, you three! I'll find Jeff!"

They all gave me confused looks, but did what I asked. This was going much smoother than I imagined. The raiders were all kinds of uncoordinated. I threw such a wrench into their plan. Gunfire was minimal, the gate was open. They were retreating.

"Where are you, Jeff? Come on, you wanted a monster! How about you come to face me?" I shouted into the batch of buildings I passed, leading to the gate.

"I am not dying to prove a point! You can have the town!" I heard him say he was still here!

I shot in the direction I heard him speak from, hoping for a reaction. "Why, Jeff? You could have just left this place alone. I let you live. I could have just ended you in the cage! Do you not have an ounce of self-preservation?" I asked.

"I rebranded and had numbers! A bunch of cowards is what they are! They never believed what you are. Reality is a scary thing, John!"

"Yeah, it is so. Come out and face it!"

He came out with the bat resting on his shoulder, his hands up. "I can see I won't be getting out of here alive. You will hunt me down. I am tired. I will not try to escape…"

His expression then changed to a smile, evil wickedness across his face as I approached. Footsteps behind me!

I didn't even get to turn around fully. They shot me in multiple places, in succession. Fortunately, nowhere vital. I could shoot them right in the neck. Turning back around to find Jeff gone.

It hit me multiple times in my stomach and chest. Not in the head, thank goodness. I held the most egregious wound and made my way around, searching. What the heck was everyone else doing?

It seems everyone split up. Some lingering raiders were causing trouble. I dispatched them easily. Ignoring the pain and blood. I charged through the town. Body of raiders and settlers alike filled the once peaceful nature of this place… it was my fault.

I saw Harden, pistol whip, a sorry raider. He fanned his revolver, hitting them right in the head. Spitting on their body, noticing me. "John! Er… I see you are having some trouble. How's it looking? How many are left?"

I was impressed by how casual he was about me. "Uh, just a few. Where did everyone else go?"

He answered. "I sent them to barricade themselves. Most of my citizens aren't fighters. Mike and Cat are safe. You saved a lot of us, John. Thank you." he paused, taking the time to reload his revolver. "Let's finish this and get you patched up. You are losing a lot of blood," he observed.

"Quickly then. We need to secure the gate! You check homes, I'll handle that!"

He smirked, almost like he wasn't used to being the one to be taking orders. He spun the cylinder of his gun, charging off into the upper section.

The blood that flowed from me was leaving a nice trail below my feet, all while I approached the gate. I put the shotgun back into my satchel. I wanted to deal with Jeff with a more… hands-on approach.

Surely enough he was there, alone, trying to sabotage the gate. He hasn't seen me yet. Perfect for jumping him! I did exactly that. I grabbed him from behind, lifting him into the air. He only gasps, the panic in his eyes. The flutter of his heartbeat.

"Jo- You bastard! Let me go! I'll never come back!"

I didn't even give him the satisfaction of giving a reply. I used my other hand to gouge him right in the abdomen. Whatever sorry excuse he had for metal plating was no match for my claws. I slid my talons across his entire stomach. He was now nothing more than a gutless husk, figuratively and literally.

I dropped his body and closed the gates. It seems we have won this one. The screams and shots have stopped. The carnage, however, was apparent. Bodies, blood, and bullet casings were everywhere.

Harden came from one of the side buildings and holstered his gun while I looked over myself. "John! Glad you did it. The homes are all clear. Listen, I talked to our doctor. He's going to fix you up. But you need to go down to him. I'll focus on cleaning this place up and… telling everyone about you." he gestured behind me, down the entrance ramp. "We can talk when you are no longer bleeding."

I started going with a nod. "Thanks, Harden. You deserve an explanation, certainly."

The doctor's office wasn't too far from the entrance. That's efficient! I knocked on the door and opened it. "Hello, doc? Harden said you were expecting-" I saw a burly looking man sitting on the farthest stool from the door. He was currently stitching himself up. Didn't even react to my presence.

"Yes, John was it? I was one folk you untied. Give me a moment. They shot me in that attack. I should be okay in..." he bit into a towel and pulled a stitch through his wound, closing it and lowering raggy his shirt. With a sigh, he said, "Now." ditching the gloves he had onto the floor and putting on a new pair.

I looked down at myself and was more red than white at this point. "Some kind of machine gun blasted me."

He stood up and had me sit on a quickly assembled combination of two beds to accommodate my size. "It was a 5.56 assault rifle. Armor piercing. Your scaled hide did little to help you protect against this." he got a pair of the largest tweezers and a scalpel. "This is going to be dreadful for us both. We can't let them sit and do more damage. How many hit you?" he asked hypothetically. Answering, he counted. "Seven. Are you ready?"

I adjusted myself. This was all so fast. "Yeah, yeah. I think so. Make it-"

My sentence was stopped by him taking the plunge into my chest first. He pulled the first bullet out with such precision I was more impressed by that than the pain of it all.

One after another, I kept myself together. He made it quick and seamless. My laying on my back probably made this way easier.

He tossed the tweezers aside with the last bullet and wiped his forehead. Taking off the gloves with such speed. He handed me a syringe. "Med-X. Does it even work on you?"

I gave him a nod. "Please, that would be great."

He just shrugged and jabbed it right into my abdomen. "That's a little fascinating." he tossed me a wet cloth from the nearby sink, and then another. "Clean yourself of all the leaked blood. We are going to disinfect next, then bandage. Let me get those."

I felt the effects of the Med-X as soon as he walked away. The pain was gone, despite the glaring holes in my body. I did as he requested and wiped myself down with the smaller-than-desired cloth.

I sat myself up and looked at myself once more. These bullets did a superb job of messing me up. I won't die, no. But it still makes me feel like I let my guard down. Jeff, what a fucker. I'm glad I killed him now.

The doctor's office was all kinds of disorganized and messy. It wasn't unclean by any means, just all over the place. It had a few rooms in the back, and then the main office area I was currently in. Shelves lined with boxes and medical supplies were all haphazardly thrown around.

I stood myself up with a stretch. Approaching the room that the doctor went to. I peered around the corner and doorway and saw him desperately looking through cabinets and desks. He was quiet in all his destruction. I cleared my throat and reached out for a roll of bandages I saw on the shelf. "Are you looking for this?"

He looked up at me from his crouched position and snagged it from the tip of my claw. "You shouldn't be up right now! Go lay back down."

I chuckled. "No need to treat me like a normal patient. I've had worse, trust me. I will be fine. Do I have permission to clean and wrap myself?"

He stood up and turned back to me. "I'm the doctor here. I should be the one doing this."

"It's fine." I reached out to take the roll of bandage back. "I am no stranger to patching myself up. Thank you for removing the bullets. Those are always a hassle."

He grumbled and reluctantly handed me the roll, and a bottle of antiseptic-doused alcohol; without looking at me. Only starting at the bloody bullets that were still bunched on the floor. "You… can do that then. You are welcome."

I shook the bottle and braced myself. This was going to be awful. Leaning myself back, I opened the bottle and quickly poured an even amount into each of my glaring bullet holes. I winced and held back to tears the best I could as the doc observed the whole process. He looked more stressed than me!

Even with the pain reducing drug Med-X affecting me, it was still excruciating. I can't even imagine how it would feel without it! When I was done pouring the disinfectant into the last of the wounds, I let it sit and sizzle for a little while. The wrapping progress was quick and easy. Just had to cover everything. I used nearly the entire roll of bandage, but I got it done.

"I feel like an idiot," I commented. Tying the rest of it on my back. Too bad I gave my only bandage to that raider during the storm. I could have saved myself some blood loss.

"You will be fine," he said. "Just take it easy and you should heal within a few days. I only assume, being a Deathclaw and all." He shrugged.

Standing in the room, still leaning against the wall, I can look at him better. He was a darker-skinned man; he wore an absolutely torn-up set of rags. I could only assume that it's better to wear rags than ruin some good clothes during a medical procedure. Other than that, he was clean-shaven, with short dark hair and brown eyes. If it was fully dark in here, I would probably not see him!

"So, what is your name, doc? What do I owe you as well?" I asked.

"You can call me Doctor Gone. As for cost? You don't owe me anything. You saved me from being a blood splatter. It is me who owes you!" he laughed at the last sentence.

"Did… you have questions for me?" I inquired.

He sat down on a chair by the desk and propped his feet up. "No, not any that can be done in a timely manner. I am curious about your existence but," he paused and pulled out a whole stack of papers. "There is a time and place for that. You are free to go."

With a nod of acknowledgment, I turned away, separating the two beds on my way out with a, "Thanks, Doc" on my exit.

I, much to my surprise, got blinded by the glaring sun. I took a deep breath and made my way outside. I scanned my surroundings and saw plenty of town folk, cleaning and dragging the bodies of fallen raiders and settlers alike. The attack was bad, certainly. But it could have been far worse.

No adverse reactions to me just standing here; that's good and odd. I gently leaned on the railing of the medical center and just watched as people went by. I was trying to spot Harden, Mike, or Cat. But I didn't see anyone I knew.

Harden must have given his speech about me. Aside from a look here and there, no one did anything. I wasn't shot or screamed at for being there. The looks from some were almost… sympathetic. The large bandage on my chest was unappealing. I didn't get out of this as unscathed as I had hoped.

I should see Mike and Cat…

With a pained groan, I stood from my lean on the rail. I'll go around through the back of Megaton so I don't interfere with anyone cleaning. If I follow along the wall, I'll reach their house.

I saw a little kid playing in the back of the house that I passed. They saw me and I tried to seem non-threatening. "Hello, litt-" I didn't even get my sentence out before the child screamed at the top of their lungs and ran, tripped, and whined away from me. They left their truck behind and everything. I sighed and didn't pursue them.

"Hey! Were you trying to scare my kid?!" I heard from behind me.

Oh, for fuck's sake…

I turned around and saw a rather fuming woman. She had her hands on her hips and a rather intimidating laser pistol in her grasp. She was in a leather set of armor and looked like she meant business. "No, ma'am, if I were trying to scare your kid, they would have been running for a lot longer than just you."

"Oh, fuck off!" she aimed her gun at me!

"Lady, I've had a hell of a day. If you shoot me, I will not refrain from tearing you apart. Please, save us both the trouble and let it go…" I didn't even wait for her next action or reply. I just kept going.

Obviously, I wanted to find a kid to scare. That was my plan all along! Mike and Cat's home wasn't far off from here. I am surprised I can even remember it.

I knocked on the door with the back of my hand, looking around. No one was here. I did like the location of their place. "Who is it?" I heard Mike ask.

"Mike, this is John. I believe I owe you two an-" the door burst open and they both were just there. Unscathed and safe; if not a little messy in the hair department. "Explanation." I finished my sentence.

Cat pushed Mike out of the way and approached me without an ounce of fear. she… hugged me, gently. It was sudden and surely unexpected on my end. I held my arms up and looked down at her, confused.

"I uh…"

She just pulled me tighter, saying, "Shhh, you don't have to say anything. We get it. All of it."

I grabbed her shoulder with my hands and pushed her back, just a little. "Sorry, Cat. The affection isn't in the realm of what I expected! I wanted to tell you two. That I am…" I trailed off and noticed Mike, who didn't even look mad.

He opened the door and welcomed me with an arm. "Please, come in. We had a long talk, me and Cat. You should be resting. Let's help you."

This confused me even more. Cat backed up from me with a smile and made her way inside. I followed. Their house didn't change since last time and we all took the same seats as last time.

I spoke up first, taking my spot on the floor. "So, what do you two make of what you see?" I asked.

They looked at each other and answered together. "Confused," they both said.

"How so?" I asked.

Mike spoke first. "Just, everything. We have a lot of questions, yes. But we see you get shot. We decided that if you want the room, again you are welcome to recuperate and recover here."

Cat spoke next. "Yes! You can sleep now! We… will gather our thoughts and have more for you tomorrow. I know the day is early, but you are hurt. Please, rest."

I stood up in amazement. "Wow, you two. That is… very generous. I won't be disturbed or anything?" I had to make sure.

"No, we will leave you alone, promise."

I yawned, and it occurred to me. I am still rather tired. "I suppose sleeping off bullets hurt no one. Goodnight, you two. I'll answer what I can in the morning!"

Cat smiled and grabbed Mike by the hand. "We will try to prepare them. Not overwhelm you," with a laugh from them both.

I couldn't help but smile as I ascended the steps. I wasn't skeptical or worried about their intention. Mike was coming around, at least. Still not fully convinced he liked me fully.

I took off the entirety of my loose robe and folded it onto the stand next to the bed. Hiding is now pointless, after all. Everyone in this town is now aware of my truth. Is that a bad or good thing? I haven't quite decided yet. I've always been in the mindset of "people will only see the monster, don't even try."

I was welcomed with open arms, anyway; conflictions are high. I lay down and retrieved my journal from my satchel, unstrapping it from myself. I haven't written about the Capital Wasteland yet. I got started on that.

Even as I write. I wonder if it was worth it? I could have kept walking. Sure, I saved Mike and Cat. But this got Megaton attacked. If I just killed Jeff, God damnit. It didn't take long till laying in the bed forced me to drift off to sleep. I finished what I was writing and set it to the side.

My dreams and thoughts came quickly. Despite the foreign nature of both this place and the bed. I couldn't help but reflect on the reason I was here. The Enclave. The truth of my journey isn't that of searching for a doctor. I am looking for vengeance, for blood. I tell everyone otherwise. They will just all try to stop me.

I can die happy once the Enclave are gone. I don't even know if they are here. I followed thread after thread. This is a final effort. If I have to go somewhere else, I… just won't. Finding a sturdy tree will do me more favors than trying.

My mind wandered, and I remembered home. This ever-present silence of the room made me think. My goals, my aspirations, all ruined! For 30 years, I have been emotionally lost!

My dreams put me back into my Vault. The same nightmare I see all the time. Reliving over and over like clockwork. It was like almost any other day. I was working in the lower levels of the maintenance hall. Still being small enough to fit into the bowels of tunnels, and I was the only one who knew how to work the various wires and pipes. There used to be many of us, a whole Vault full.

Something was wrong with today. I couldn't explain it. A pit in my young stomach made me dread today. I was so, so right. I finished up my maintenance on the lower floor generator. I don't remember why it was broken, only that it was. That I was down here is one of the few things that kept me safe. It's too narrow and small for any adults to have gotten through easily, so it wasn't checked.

The alarm siren was blaring. There was no announcement of a drill. Or what was happening? The Vault itself went into panic mode. All the lights dimmed and the only visual through the halls now were red, spinning lights. It was an emergency; I know that much.

I was always told. Don't rush into danger. Watch after yourself. I heard the sounds of screams and thuds, and what I didn't know at the time was gunfire. All above me, through our living quarters.

I kept myself quiet. I remember wanting to cry before I even saw anything. The muffled sounds were horrific enough. The dimming lights didn't help fill me with confidence. So, I kept going. Eventually ending at the maintenance steps. Something within me kept me there, at the bottom of those steps. The spinning light exacerbated the railing, my shadow. It was dark and terrifying.

I was used to things being bright, and safe, and quiet. This was a real emergency… even my young self knew that. I eventually pressed on. Should I have just stayed put this whole time?

I nervously crept through the dim hallways of the living quarters. I saw blood splatter against the wall and went into a full breakdown. Turning the corner, I saw one of the many visuals that still haunt me. Bodies, of many other deathclaws, just butchered and full of bullet holes. Both ends were just littered with bullet casings and bodies. Smeared blood… everywhere!

I was frozen. Both directions are just piles of corpses. I nearly collapsed with them all. In my infinite tears, I checked for the bodies of my parents. They weren't here. But… my friends and love were amongst them.

I wept, amongst the blood and flesh for probably not that long, but it felt like an entirety. I had to find my parents! I stepped over the ever-piling trail of bodies and made my way to the entrance. I could hardly see with the lack of lightning and the tears in my eyes.

I was shaking, my heart racing out of my chest. I had never been in a situation like this in my young years! I couldn't just lay down a die. Why couldn't we defend ourselves? We weren't fighters. Despite being Deathclaws, no. We were scientists, teachers, inventors, and philosophers. I never got taught how to defend myself. Just that I was different.

The endless stream of bodies made me think no one got away. They went to the living quarters first. Most of us would be here. The alarm didn't matter; it was too late for most of us. They tried to flee and were just gunned down like mindless animals.

The entrance was my best option. Or so I thought. I turned a corner, and it was much less bloody and filled with the horrors of genocide. I, unfortunately, noticed that there were 3 people, all in big bulky suits. I didn't know there were humans, let alone that it was Power Armor. That insignia on their shoulder stuck with me. As well as their faces.

They were standing over the sole body of someone. I didn't see who until I drew closer. They were discussing something, disrespecting her the whole time. They shot her in the head and body. I… barely recognized her. It was my mother. She was just against a wall, a bloody smear behind her to where she lay. It never occurred to me until later, but she tried to fight back. She got mutilated for it.

This realization of seeing her dead broke me. I fucking somehow didn't attract their attention. I had to cover my mouth even more. Tears rolled down my face. That was my only direction out. I somehow didn't have the idea to charge them directly.

I was hyperventilating. Panicking doesn't even describe what was going through my mind. I somehow found the strength to back up… I just left her there, for now. Since they were that way. I figured maybe I can look for survivors!

There has to be someone…

In my absolutely wrecked state, I fled down the hall of bodies again. I never told her I loved her, or goodbye.

I trampled through the halls, far enough from them, and it just got more and more horrific. Dining halls, bedrooms, recreational spaces. It was all just bodies, blood, and horrid imagery!

I followed a long stretch of blood along the wall and found myself at the edge of a room. It was a transition from the living quarters and the Overseer's office.

Our leader, our Overseer, was also the Alpha Male of the entire pack. His name was Ocrum. He was like a second father to me. I never saw him or his corpse. I am sure he didn't make it out.

I turned the corner from outside the office and was slashed at, in the darkness! They missed me on purpose, and then I was hugged instantly. It was my dad!

I remember him saying how he was so sorry. He was waiting for one of the attackers. I tried to tell him through my tears that there were three of them.

He then bravely said, "I'm going to find your mother." I remember him saying.

He went to just leave me and I had to muster the strength to reach out and grab him to stop him. I couldn't even get the words out. He already knew.

I saw him break down at that moment. We shared a moment of hugs and tears. We didn't have time to mourn. He guided me into the Overseer's office. He quickly explained to me that the desk leads down into the exit of the Vault itself. I didn't have time to ask questions.

He slammed the door of the office behind himself and opened the desk with the sheer force of will alone. He was in adrenaline-fueled tears saying how he can't lose me too, as well as Martha. He unhinged the desk and pulled the whole thing up.

He demanded that I go down there. I tried to explain that I'm not leaving mom there! I was going to help him fight. They were closing in. I heard the steps outside the office door.

Goodness, his look. He had so much he wanted to say to me, but just didn't have the time. I wasn't given a choice. He forcefully grabbed me and practically threw me down those steps under the desk and slammed it down.

He didn't even say anything. He just sacrificed himself so I can get away. I didn't stick around to hear him die. It wasn't easy, no. I didn't want to leave him. But his sacrifice would be wasted.

This tunnel was narrow and human-sized. I got through just fine enough. The end of the hall had a switch. It opened a hidden panel that led to the entrance! He… could have gone with me. But, I know he would never forgive himself for leaving mother like that.

I went through the panel and pushed it aside. I was just in so much shock. I had just lost my entire life. What now? I stood just at the Vault entrance. I always knew it was here. I never stepped outside before now.

The Vault door itself was massive, and open to the Wasteland. I could see the tan desert of Nevada, from the interior, elevated cave system that held the Vault. I took an inhale of the fresh air and hesitantly proceeded.

It was then I heard loud clanging behind me! My reflexes and experience are non-existent at this point, and they easily picked me up from behind.

He was so strong; he picked me up and turned me around to face him. I was getting strangled by my neck. He was spouting something about me being a pathetic runt, asking how I got away.

I couldn't answer. Adrenaline filled my veins. He laughed like a maniac, literally squeezing the life out of me. It was dark, minus the natural light behind me, and the spiraling red in the room that clashed off his dark black armor.

I flailed and fought for my life. He just kept me suspended in the air, insulting my size, color, and lack of strength. It made me so… angry!

In my relentless flailing, I got a grip of my claws under his helmet. I grabbed it upward and dug into his jugular from under his armor. His helmet was nearly off at this point; his neck had a massive bloody gash. This soldier dropped me instantly and fell back, gurgling for a good few seconds, then dying.

I scooted myself back and began crying again, just starting at the body. I didn't get up for multiple minutes. I had killed no one at this point till now. I remember just feeling… sick. I was too upset to even throw up.

I eventually stood up, looked at my blood-soaked claws for the first time, and made my way into the Wasteland. Leaving my Vault, my life, and my family behind.

End Chapter: 10