Weirder Things: Patrick's Camera
Chapter 3: Fixin' it with Soos
Part 1
The episode starts with Soos in Patrick's room, with the young man filming his friend. After Patrick banned Mabel from using his camera, Soos asked if he could do his own little segment. Patrick was reluctant, especially when Soos took his toilet off the floor and bolted it to the ceiling. Meaning that Patrick had to use the upstairs bathroom if he ever wanted to use the restroom. Eventually, he agreed to film Soos.
Dipper was about mysteries, and Mabel was about life. Soos' videos were all about fixing things.
"Hey, dudes! Welcome to 'Fixin' It With Soos', the only home "Fix It" show that I edited myself on my own computer," Soos said to the audience.
A giant hand appeared from the left side and moved to Soos. "HIGH FIVE!" It said in a low, mechanical, deep voice.
Soos high-fived it, and a WAP sign appeared in a speech bubble. The hand then disappeared the way it came. "Thanks, clip-art hand!" He said, waving to it.
"Just go easy on the editing, Soos," Patrick said behind the camera. "You try to go crazy with the graphics, and the rendering will fry your computer."
"Don't worry, I'll fix it if it does. Just like I'll be fixing this broken cuckoo clock," Soos said, picking up a broken Cuckoo Clock that was smashed up badly. He demonstrated the broken areas with his hand. "You can see it's torn up from the floor up. Stan knocked it down yesterday by accident."
"Sure he did," Patrick said, not believing it for a second. Why you might ask?
CRRR!
The video cut to earlier in the day in the Mystery Shack's living room. Stan holding a baseball bat, glaring at the Cuckoo Clock lying on the floor as it makes its cuckoo noise. Like any normal Cuckoo Clock does. "Stop making that noise!" He yelled, and proceeded to beat the clock. The Cuckoo Clock kept making the cuckoo noise, but as Stan kept breaking it, it got slower. "I hate you! This is definitely not an accident!"
CRRR!
The video cuts back to the bedroom. "I'm gonna fix it up, and when I'm done, Stan will rate my handiwork on the 'Awesome-o-meter'," Soos said, picking up the Awesomeometer Page. It had a thermostat on it that went from 'Not cool, bro' all that way to 'So cool, it's hot!'.
Giant Hand appeared again and said in its low, mechanical, deep voice. "HIGH FIVE!"
"Not, not now, bro…"
The video then cut to screens where Soos' head floated. "Duct tape! Wood Glue!" Then, to Patrick's horror, the green screen showed Soos wearing leopard undershorts. "Hey, you~," He said, shaking his ass at Patrick.
"Edit that out!"
CRRR!
"Almost there!" Soos exclaimed. He had "fixed" the cuckoo clock and held it up to show to the camera. However, all he did was glue and tape it back together with a few pieces of duct tape. "Although, something off…"
The clock fell apart again.
"You mean other than it keeps falling apart?" Patrick asked.
"No, it's not that," Soos said, trying to think of what was missing from the cuckoo clock. And then he finally had it. "Ah-ha! It needs decorations!" At that moment, Mabel entered the scene, sipping the straw on a juice box. "Oooh! Make it leopard print!" She asked.
Soos held it up to the camera, and the video fast-forwarded. Now Mabel was holding a bag of chips, and the Cuckoo Clock was covered with leopard print and had two fuzzy dice attached to it. "Whoa... What else does it need?" Mabel asked.
"A beach house! So the cuckoo can live in style," Soos said to her.
"Uh, you do know that we have to hang this up, right?" Patrick asked.
CRRR!
The video came back to show Patrick, Soos, and Mabel sitting on the floor, looking at their creation. The Cuckoo Clock now had a mini-house taped to the right side. Soos thought for a moment before he came up with another idea. "Ah, the bird is going to need some homies."
CRRR!
Cut to Soos showing the little birds he added to the Cuckoo Clock and started naming them from left to right. "I'll call you Kurt, Jaden, Carlos, De'Andre, and Frank!"
"Frank?" Patrick asked.
"Yeah, after my own cousin," Soos said.
CRRR!
Soos and Mabel then started shouting ideas for the Cuckoo Clock.
"Some boomboxes!"
"A slide! And a ball pit!"
"A pyrotechnics kit!"
"Real animal fur!"
"Lasers! LASERS, DUDE!"
"Shut up!" Patrick yelled at Soos, startling him. "You didn't have to shout that in my ear!"
CRRR!
After going to get a glass of water, Patrick came back into the room. "Okay, you two. How's the…" He trailed off and fell silent as he stared at what they had created. Patrick walked up to stand with Mabel and Soos as they stared at the cuckoo clock. Angelic sounds could be heard all around them as a strong, bright light was coming from the clock.
"What do you think?" Mabel asked
"It's too dope, I can't cope!" Soos said.
"I have some amazing things, but this…" Patrick paused. "This takes the cake."
CRRR!
Patrick was now in the Mystery Shack's living room with the camera as Mabel holding the "Awesomeometer". Soos was standing in front of the Cuckoo Clock, which was covered with an old sheet so that he could present it to Stan. The old man had his arms crossed and a bored expression.
"Mr. Pines, are you ready for the grand unveiling of your brand new Cuckoo Clock?" Soos asked the conman.
"You've joined forces with Mabel. This is an unsettling development," Stan said, mentally preparing himself for what was under the covers.
Soos grabbed the cover and pulled it off. "Voila!" He exclaimed.
From under the covers, the Cuckoo Clock was presented to the world. And it was something alright. The mini boomboxes made music, and the laser lit up the place. It had many more decorations that Soos and Mabel wanted, including a slide, gumball machine, and trophies. Just about everything they could find lying around was glued and taped to the clock.
"Just looking at it gives me a headache," Patrick said, rubbing his eyes.
"So, Stan, What do you think?" Soos asked
"Why is it permanently set to one fifty 1:50?" Stan asked the handyman.
"Its hands are in the air, like it just doesn't care!" Soos explained before a thumbs-up puppet with the word RAD written on it jumped out of the clock. Soos picked up the clock and showed it to Stan. "So, one to ten, what do you give it?"
"Well, it doesn't make that horrible Cuckoo sound anymore, so... I don't know, ten out of ten, whatever."
Very happy and surprised, Soos smiled and dropped the Cuckoo Clock, destroying it. "Dude!" Patrick yelled.
CRRR!
Then, completely going against Patrick's advice, Soos started going crazy with the effects. First, his head floated up, and Soos shot a "PROBLEM" text with laser eyes making the word solved appear on the screen in big bold letters.
CRRR!
A Pinata of a colored zebra that had a "PROBLEM" text on it was hit with a bat, causing it to explode.
The "Awesomeometer" filled up completely and then exploded.
Soos standing on an edge of a cliff in the sunset, before the video cuts away to dynamite exploding. It showed him again, before showing a volcano erupted. It cut back to Soos, who screamed on the cliff's edge in a deep voice. "SOLVED!"
RENDERING….
Patrick stood on the other side of the computer, pinching the bridge of his nose in frustration. He was with Soos in the handyman's room, trying to edit and render the file. This was the tenth time it stopped to render.
"And that's why we don't use the explosion!" He yelled at Soos.
Soos turned to the camera and smiled. "Join us next time as we fix my computer, because I think I've crashed it permanently making some of those graphics," he said before Soos' computer monitor exploded. Patrick quickly grabbed a fire extinguisher and put out the fire. "Did we get that? Save it for the explosion reel!"
A drawing of Soos with no hand, muscled body, and a tool in his hand. A tiger roar sound is in the background as the drawing said.
"THE END"
Part 2
The next video started off with Soos standing in Patrick's room with the young man himself and Wendy. "Hey dudes! And welcome back to 'Fixin' it with Soos,' the show where I always forget that I'm leaning on the soldering iron," Soos said before a sizzling sound was heard. Feeling his hand burning badly, he quickly takes his hand off the iron. "AH OWW!"
CRRR!
The video cut back, and Patrick finished bandaging his hand. "What needs fixing today?" Soos asked Wendy and Patrick.
"We fuck up, Soos," Patrick said worriedly. "The cart's busted up."
"Yeah, Patrick and I were just doing normal work stuff with the golf cart…" Wendy said with a smile and a shrug.
CRRR!
The video flashed back to when Patrick and Wendy were both on the golf cart and were about to attempt to jump over Stan's car. They had everything they needed for the jump, which was just two ramps on both sides.
"Jump! Jump! Jump! Jump!" Patrick and Wendy cheered before the redhead gunned the ignition. She drove the cart towards the ramp and attempted to drive the cart over the car. However, they didn't have enough speed and fell over on its side. The two teens groaned in pain before realizing Wendy was on top of Patrick. They blushed and were about to separate when the cart suddenly went up in flames not long after. Making them both scream.
CRRRR!
"So now the cart's busted for some reason. You think you can fix it so we can finish our stunt?" Wendy asked Soos as they sat on the couch.
"And, you know, prevent Wendy from getting fired and me from being grounded for the entire summer?" Patrick added.
"You have called upon my fix-it powers. I accept this call, Wendy." Soos said, facing the camera.
"Huh? What call?" Wendy asked in confusion.
"The call of... POWER!" Soos yelled and raised his arms up. Pictures of lightning appeared around Soos' hands.
"...What's happening right now?"
"You know how Dipper and Mabel have been using my camera for videos?" Patrick asked. "Well, Soos is one of those heavy editors."
"Oh no! A bat!" Soos exclaimed as a bat picture appeared in the video. "Laser eyes, go!" Lasers appear from his eyes and make the bat explode.
"This video's going to explode like the last one," Patrick said. He didn't need to wait and see.
CRRR!
The team moved the video outside, where Patrick and Soos were in bluish gray jumpsuits. Wendy, being the slacker she was, was lying down on the outdoor sofa reading a magazine. "It's time to fix the golf cart. At the end of the show, Patrick and Wendy will rank my handymanship from 1 to 10," Soos said to the camera. He then whispered to Patrick. "Vote 10!"
Patrick chuckled and pointed his finger at him. "Sure, man, but first you've gotta be honest with me." Patrick glanced over at his redhead crush and asked: "Do you think a girl like Wendy would like a guy like me in this jumpsuit?"
The young man looked at his best friend with a hopeful smile. However, Soos could only place a hand on his shoulder and say in a defeated voice, "Some things, even Soos can't fix."
"...ouch."
CRRR!
Soos fixing the engine of the golf cart, and Patrick was standing on the other side. "Huh, looks like a problem with the fuel injector," he said, giving the engine a few cranks with his wrench. "Patrick, try the engine now."
Patrick nodded and jumped into the golf cart. He turned the key and started the engine successfully. "Hey! You did it, man, it works!"
"My fix-it power has been unleashed!" Soos said after closing the hood of the cart.
Weirded out, Patrick asked, "Dude, what kind of edits are you doing?"
"Unleash the POWER! Woo woo wooooo!" Soos howled as his head was pasted on a wolf's body and Patrick's head was pasted next to the moon. "Well, I'm not done yet. It's not quite as rad as possible. Time cut!"
CRRR!
The video cuts to an orange screen where Soos' head floated around. "Fix it! Do it! Accidentally unscrew it!"
CRRR
Soos had completed what he had set out to do and gathered Patrick and Wendy in front of the golf cart. The vehicle was covered with a white sheet so that Soos could properly present it.
"Behold!" Soos uncovered the white sheet from the golf cart, and both teenagers gasped in astonishment. Soos had completely tricked out the entire vehicle and turned it into a hotrod. "So let's make this jump!"
CRRR!
Patrick was holding onto his seat belt as tightly as he could as he sat between Wendy and Soos. The handyman was driving the golf cart towards the ramp as fast as it could go. But even with its engine tricked out, it still wasn't enough.
"Soos, we're not going to make it!" He exclaimed. "We don't have enough speed."
"Hit the nitrous boosters!" Soos told them.
Now it was Wendy's turn to be worried. "Aren't those illegal?"
"You bet your life they are, baby!" Soos shouted and pressed a button on the steering wheel. This activated the nitrous boosters, and the cart increased its speed. Flying around the yard at breakneck speeds. Wendy and Patrick screamed happily as they felt the rush.
The golf cart drove up and jumped over the ramp, without landing on the other side of the ramp.
"We're clearing it! We're clearing it!" Patrick excitedly exclaimed.
"So, what score do I get, from one to ten?" Soos asked the two.
"Ten out of ten! Ten out of ten!" They both chanted.
"Thanks, Guys!"
But then Patrick's eyes widened. "Uh, how high are we?" He asked. Realizing how high up they were, Patrick, Wendy, and Soos started to scream as the golf cart slowly faced down and fell to the ground. Patrick quickly grabbed Wendy and held her close before impact.
CRRR!
From a bird's eye view of the Mystery Shack, the camera saw that the golf cart had crashed into and was embedded into the left side of the roof. Soos, Patrick, and Wendy are on the ground near the Mystery Shack's front door. Patrick was groaning in pain as Wendy sat next to him, providing him comfort. Stan then came out from the other door.
"Soos! I think the roof is broken! Can you fix it for me?" he called out to his handyman before going back inside.
Soos sat up and said to the camera. "I make my own economy."
Patrick groaned in pain. "Take me to the hospital."
The video ended with a picture of Soos as a tiger in one of the golf cart designs shown before. A tiger roar was sounded before the video came to an end.