Chapter 28: Home again, on the road again

Alex unpacked his bag after sneaking into the house. He'd gotten home really late and he didn't want Jack to be woken up. Alex put the last article of clothing away before he heard a delighted woof and felt a giant mass of fur and muscle tackle him to the floor. So much for getting in unnoticed. Jack came in a few moments later, looking rather bleary. "Help?"

Jack laughed. "Oh no, you didn't have to deal with the heartbreak and pining. Have fun taking care of your dog."

Alex snorted. "But Jack, I'm pinned to the floor after my long horrid flight."

Jack rolled her eyes. Alex ran his hands through Fenrir's fur. "Fenrir, off."

The wolf got off but didn't leave his side. He hugged Jack. "It's nice to be home."

Jack smiled. Tom and Jerry walked in with bats. "Guys, really? A thief would have gotten away by now."

Tom and Jerry joined in the group hug. Ian walked in wearing a bathrobe. "Why is everybody up at three in the morning?"

Jack snorted. "Who cares?"

Alex shoots Tom a hopeful look. "Blanket fort?"

Tom grinned. "Totally, man."

Ian groaned. "Everybody over the age of-"

Tom cut him off. "Just you, then, nursing home."

Alex started laughing. He couldn't help it. Ian glowered. "I'll have you know, I'm in prime physical condition, thank you very much."

Alex was still struggling to breathe. Jerry and Jack had already gotten the blankets out. Ian rolled his eyes. "At least let me help you make it structurally stable."

Jack smirked. "Are you sure that's the only reason?"

Ian smiled sweetly. "Well, Jack are you sure we shouldn't change your name to Vive?"

Jack scowled. "Low blow, Ian."

Ian grinned. "Well, so was that." The wolf eventually collapsed the fort when it tried to follow Alex in. Nobody cared overmuch, as they were mostly asleep anyway. They all awoke to a doorbell.

Then more knocking. Then someone walked straight into the living room. Tulip Jones was not often surprised. At the sight of one of her top operatives and his charges in various stages of undress, she turned bright red. "I did knock."

Ian smirked and adjusted the robe so it was actually covering him. "Well, Tulip, we didn't answer."

Crawley walked in. "I am so sorry, sir."

He walked straight out and slammed the door behind him. Shit. This was why he didn't do home visits without due notice. Tulip was a remarkable shade of red. "I'll let you get dressed."

She quickly copied Crawley. Alex just started laughing. At least it wasn't just him. Take that, Rhea. Jack looked mortified. Tom and Jerry just seemed a little shocked. "What on earth is so funny about Ian's uncivilized barbarian bosses barging in on our pajama party?"

Alex grinned. "Nice alliteration, Dr. Seuss. It would take too long to explain properly."

Ian grinned. "Besides the fact that uncivilized and barbarian are redundant, Crawley is my coworker."

Tom grinned. "Are we sure he isn't a creep?"

Jack, Ian, Jerry, and Alex yelled in unison. "Tom!"

Tom just cackled madly. Jack glanced at Alex. "Are we sure it isn't catching?"

Alex grinned. "Well Jack, if it floats like a duck, it's a witch."

Jack rolled her eyes. "I actually got that reference." They all headed up to get dressed. Ten minutes later, everyone was seated at the breakfast table. Crawley was still slightly pink and muttering about forms and due process. Jones was just looking rather stiff and awkward. Jack had treated them to one of her lectures. Alex could barely keep a straight face.

Alex tried to skulk off with Tom, Jerry, and Jack. Unfortunately, neither Jones nor Crawley was having it. Jones raised an eyebrow. "And where do you think you're going?"

Alex shrugged. "Either walking Fenrir or playing with Tom. I won't be far."

Jones gave him a look that pinned him in place. "Actually, we'd like a word with you to."

Alex felt his stomach drop. Ian looked slightly constipated. Crawley was shooting him apologetic looks. Jones was giving him the look of death. Alex pulled his most angelic look yet. "Me, Mrs. Jones, but I haven't done anything."

He placed just the right amount of anger, annoyance and fear into it. Ian would believe it if he hadn't known Alex's grade for drama was always straight hundreds and that he had played the lead male and female parts for several years. That and he had evidence to the contrary. Jones sighed. "It isn't you, Alex. Yassen Gregorovich was spotted in New York in a park that you were visiting at the same time."

Ian felt a jolt of alarm. "Really?"

Alex looked surprised. Ian couldn't tell if it was the truth or not. Jones looked almost kind. It didn't quite reach her eyes. "Yes, really. We had wondered if he made contact was all."

Alex did he best to look worried. It wasn't hard, since he had quite a bit to worry about. "Sorry, no."

Jones looked relieved. "That's it for you."

Alex tried not to look overly relieved. "Good day, Mrs. Jones."

He walked out and resisted the urge to shower again. It would make him look guilty. Jones remarked as soon as the door closed. "I can't tell if he's lying or not."

Crawley shrugged. "Don't suppose it matters, really, Gregorovich is far too careful to be caught that easy."

Jones looked at both him and Ian, who was ready to protest. "I wouldn't be so sure, Agents."

They both half saluted her. "Ma'am." Jones left.

Crawley flushed slightly. "Umm, sorry about earlier."

Ian sighed. "It's fine Crawley. I used to be military, remember. Absolutely no privacy there."

Crawley looked relieved. "Can't imagine really. Jones got me straight out of school."

Ian shrugged. "She always was pretty good about that, besides you turned out ok."

Crawley gave him a lopsided grin. "Oh you say that now, but wait until you see the newest recruits. They're sad, Ian. I want to cry just looking at 'em."

Ian snorted. "Don't be absurd, Crawley. All the top agents in MI6 have their tear glands removed. We can't cry."

Crawley chuckled. "Can you believe I actually convinced one of the recruits it was a fact? Of course, he had a few screws loose, anyway."

Ian rolled his eyes. "I swear, they get more gullible every year."

Crawley smirked. "Or we're just old and cynical."

Ian sighed. "I can't believe Jones banned the spread of misinformation. It was awesome."

Crawley laughed. "That was after she banned you from saying two hundred specific things to recruits, Ian. I think she just got tired of dealing with our pranks."

Ian's eyes glinted with amusement. "Oh but Crawley, that was the fun part of training."

Crawley rolled his eyes. "I think after she had to send four of 'em in for counseling after they all mysteriously developed the belief that paperwork in MI6 is laced with poison, she thought you took it too far."

Ian grinned. "But Crawley…"

The man snorted. "Don't but Crawley me, I was the one who ended up doing their paperwork and the paperwork to send them into psychiatric care." Ian laughed softly. Crawley rolled his eyes. "By the way, you have been totally banned from teaching. Jones seems to think you were the reason half of the class had a psychological break the last time around."

Ian gave Crawley an innocent look. "But I'm innocent."

Crawley laughed. Innocent his effing ass. "Save it for Blunt."

Jack Starbright was having the time of her life. Alex was finally home again. It was a bright, warm weekend day. The three of them were currently playing with the dog in the backyard while Alex rescued his flower bed. It was a nice time. The dog really wasn't that bad, especially now that she didn't have to feed or walk it. The temperature was bordering on perfect. She also had the chance to get a good look at Alex. She was worried, but he seemed fine. Alex had definitely grown a few inches. He was also slimmer than Tom and more built. He was beginning to form muscle definition, as well. Jack knew that it took a lot of work to do that before a certain age. She supposed it was good that he was fit. At least he wasn't only focused on school work. She wondered what they had been doing together that left him so tan. She felt a stab of envy, knowing that she burned the color of a lobster. She watched as Alex methodically got through the entire bed. Some of the flowers really were quite stunning, when the weeds were cut away. He carefully put the remains of the weeds in a garbage bag and carried it out front himself. It was nice that he was so helpful. Plus, the bags were kind of heavy when they were full of weeds. Alex changed before coming out to play with the dog. Jack wasn't sure why he bothered. Those clothes would get plenty dirty too. The dog seemed to enjoy running with him at any rate. Alex quietly watched Jack from afar while playing with the wolf. When Fenrir caught him and pounced. Jack laughed ecstatically. Alex made sure to burn the moment into his memory forever, her red hair sparkling in the sun and her eyes dancing with mirth. She looked so wonderfully alive like that. It was almost as if death could never touch her. She really was pretty, but definitely his older sister. He'd cheerfully torch the chosen vehicle of any man who broke her heart.

Alex had started his exploration of London with Fenrir, who seemed delighted that his walks were greatly extended, not that Alex could blame the fur ball. Getting out of the house was nice after a while. Fenrir was now acting oddly. Alex hoped it wasn't another dead body. Jones was already on his case as it was. He was pawing a section of the pavement. Alex really hoped there wasn't another body. "What is it, Fenrir?" The wolf moved aside to let him look. They were in an alleyway that looked like a dead end. It was a trapdoor and not cement at all. "Well, why not go exploring? You'll protect me, right?" The wolf fluffed up indignantly. "Yeah, yeah, I'm going." He switched on a flashlight and opened the trapdoor. He and Fenrir made the descent. Alex soon came to a room with a lock. It looked like an older model, but still pick able. He got out his lock pick set. It didn't look like it belonged to anybody in a long time. Was it trespassing if the owner was long-dead? Alex didn't think so. The lock took a surprising amount of effort to break, but he got it eventually. Beneath that door was a combination lock. Alex wondered what on Earth required that much security. Fortunately, Alex could break this one, too. It was at least twenty to fifty years old. Alex cleared the dust of the nearby wall and he saw a universally recognized symbol. The swastika and the eagle. This belonged to the Nazis. "I swear Fenrir, you're as bad as I am." Alex tried Hitler's ascension date just for shits and giggles. He was surprised it actually worked. Honestly, they had almost lost to these guys? "If it's full of Hitler clones, I reserve the right to go ballistic." With that, he yanked the heavy iron door open. Did he mention this place was creepy? And full of dust and spiders? It took a couple of yanks for the door to open wide enough to let him through.

The inside instantly lit up. Alex was surprised that electric lights were that advanced back then. The inside was eerily clean, funnily enough. Alex had always imagined the Nazis lived in dark dirty holes somewhere. Then he saw the inscription. Cleanliness is next to godliness. It was a poster depicting racial purity. Alex wasn't sure whether the ignorance or the hate-mongering behind that propaganda was more disgusting. He made a mental note to burn every poster he saw. Historical value or no, he personally felt that any regime that murdered innocent children should be eradicated in every form. Fenrir went ahead of him as he slowly walked through the well-preserved bunker. He wondered what happened to the people in it. The machines hadn't even rusted. The door shut automatically behind him, but Alex wasn't too worried since it had some obvious controls on it. Alex had thought there were only airstrikes on Britain, so how did this place exist? It was possible someone had lied about that, but why not have it come out after the war? Unless this had been created afterward, like the Manhattan project, only the Nazis didn't have to give up their ideology. "What is this place?" A faint buzzing sounded around Alex. He wondered if it wasn't some sort of security system. He walked past the propaganda plastered foyer into the next room. It was a massive computer. "Hello?" Someone had to have turned it on. There was no voice-activated technology in WW2. He walked up to the computer screen. It was in German, of course. Fortunately, Alex was fluent. It translated fairly well.

New user?

Y/N

Alex hit the enter key after selecting Yes. A section of the screen lit up green. It was about the size of a hand. Alex was pretty sure they didn't have anything this advanced in the forties.

Authorize prints?

Y/N

Alex was eerily reminded of Winston Yu and his bomb. He pressed his right hand against the scanner and hit Yes again. Why was it always him?

Initializing systems…Please wait

Alex waited. Fenrir returned to his side. He was genuinely curious as to what would show up. Besides, he wasn't really sure what to do with the place. Ignore it? Seemed like a waste. Turning it into the government seemed like a bad idea, particularly with Jones already on his case as it was. Telling Ian would just get him a lecture and he wasn't sure anyone else would have a use for it. Alex touched his phone, still watching the computer boot up. He figured it would take a while considering the age of the system and the time it had been off. Alex weighed the option of telling Antonio. It was a risk. There was also the fact that Alex considered the place sort of his. Finders keepers, right? Besides, he might end up sending some of his people and with Ian around, it would get really messy really fast. There was a chance this place was empty, but Alex personally doubted it. He wondered if the massive thing was going to finish starting up anytime soon. It was kind of eerie down here. Plus, he had no idea what the size of the place was and the last thing he wanted was to get lost forever in a creepy old (most likely) Nazi base that shouldn't exist if the history books were telling the truth.

Error: Power Outages in the North Sector

Error: Wiring Decay in the East Sector

Error: Lighting out in Medical Wing 3

Print map with Areas highlighted? Y/N

Alex figured the computer was pretty advanced if it could tell him what was wrong like that. Maybe even more advanced than some of the modern technology. Just who had built this place? He went ahead and hit yes. What could possibly go wrong when repairing old and strangely advanced technology? He'd brought his toolkit and hopefully, the breaker boxes would be in nice, convenient places conducive to repairs. Fenrir stayed by his side as Alex made his way to the medical wing which was the closest. From what he could tell, He'd entered on the west side. There were four sectors and a medical wing. The shape was rather like a bunch of interconnected circular blobs. From what he could tell, there were two underground levels. Surprisingly, there were a lot of amenities. He walked into medical wing. The lightbulbs looked pretty standard to him. He'd have to get them somewhere. Medical wing one and two looked decently like what Alex was used to in modern hospitals, but he supposed that not much had changed, besides a bit of machinery and knowledge in medicine. It had only been a few decades. He turned his flashlight on for the third wing. It looked pretty standard, but there was an office door as you got to the end of the rows of beds. The doctor's literal office? Alex cautiously opened the door. At first glance, it was ordinary. Then, he opened the filing cabinet. It was full of files and files of what looked like patients. The second and third drawers were what made it unusual. There were experiments. Alex felt nauseous just looking at them. As Alex opened the third drawer, he wasn't sure he wanted to know what was in it. It looked like a bunch of ordinary flash drives for computers. Perhaps he wasn't the first person here? Flash drives hadn't been invented in the '50's - everyone knew that. It would make more sense. But who? And why? And was this place really just abandoned? The desk had a human skull on it. Alex was so done. He decided the bookshelves could wait.

Alex figured he could take them home and look at them later. He put them in the backpack. He walked out of the office, still slightly shaken by the files and the human skull. Who the hell kept an actual skull in their office? It was just a little odd. He decided to check out the east sector first. What could be the cause of the wiring decay? When Alex got to the edge of the sector, he felt Fenrir tense. There was a sort of chattering noise in the background. It sounded like rats. Just wonderful. Suddenly, Fenrir let out a large bark and lunged. Alex hit the light switch before checking on his dog. Apparently, one of Fenrir's uses was hunting ginormous disgusting rats. Seriously, it was one of the largest and grossest things he'd ever seen. Fenrir dropped the dead rat at his feet and looked at him hopefully. Alex was trying and failing to feel compassion for the animals. "Oh, go on then." Fenrir let out a happy, bellowing bark and took off down the corridor. The barks echoed off the walls. Alex did his best to ignore the sound of multiple rats having their necks broken. At least he knew what the wiring problem was. This was going to be a pain to clean up. Blood took forever to get off floor tiles. Fenrir came back a few minutes later and dropped a ton of dead rats in a heap at his feet. The urge to gag was nearly uncontrollable. Alex checked the map and noticed that there was a garbage chute nearby. He found it and pulled it open. The note on the front said it went to the sewer. "Can you put them in here?" The wolf started picking up a carrying them to the chute.

After leaving a giant (literally bloody) mess all over the floor, Alex decided it was time to go to the north sector. He hoped there were no more rats. Fenrir was cheerfully walking along his side. The wolf was meant for hunting he supposed. Still, it was kind of gross. The north sector was dark and cold, but at least the breaker box was easy to spot. Alex flipped the switch and wondered why it had to be manually turned on separate from the main computer (he assumed it was the main computer). Alex checked his watch and discovered he'd spent nearly three hours in the creepfest. Oops. He did a quick run through of the north sector and practically ran back to the exit. The south sector would have to wait another day, as would all the other stuff. There was also a whole other floor to explore. It reminded him more of the basement in his house. Alex glanced at his watch again. Ian and Jack were going to kill him. At least he had an excuse ready (Fenrir was still covered in blood). Alex literally ran home and straight into Ian. "Sorry." Ian just looked at him funny. "Who did the dog murder?" Alex rolled his eyes. "Fenrir decided that hunting sewer rats would be fun." Ian just groaned. "I was about to call the police." Alex was actually sorry. "Sorry, I was chasing after him. Plus, the police would make you wait twenty-four hours." Ian sighed. He was tempted to swear at Alex, he really was. Starbright would murder him in his sleep. "You get to wash him." Alex snorted. "Like I don't already." He decided to change topics before Ian got to suspicious. "So when's the Lame-o family reunion in the war-torn shithole?" Ian groaned. "You just had to remind me. It's in two months." Jack happened to overhear them. "I'm sorry, did Alex just say war-torn area?" Alex knew it was time to disappear up the stairs. He got to his room just in time to hear Jack scream. "YOU KEPT THE KNOWLEDGE OF HIS OTHER FAMILY IN AFGHANISTAN FROM HIM!" Ian replied with something Alex couldn't make out. He shut the door and sighed. His life was messed up sometimes.

Tom and Jerry came into his room. "Sorry man, your situation with the family sounds bad."

Alex grimaced. "It could end up going well."

Alex figured Ian probably had a good reason for hiding him from the family this long. Jerry frowned. "If he kept them apart this long, who knows? At least the arguments here happen for a good reason."

It was a reference to their parents. "It's fine, guys."

Tom snorted. "I don't think you know the meaning of the word, Al."

Alex sighed. "What else can it be? Even if I wasn't fine, there isn't anything I can do to help the situation."

Jerry looked oddly pensive. "Just because you love your family and they love you doesn't mean it's healthy, you know."

Tom looks at his brother in surprise. "What do you mean?"

Jerry looked slightly pinched. "Look, our parents were shit, man. I'm glad we got out of there. Your family obviously loves you, but you guys have problems. I'm sorry, but your uncle is in no way mentally healthy, let alone in a state to take care of you. Jack is nice enough, but ultimately powerless in terms of custody. You sleep way too little for it to be normal and God knows what is up with those other family members. Also, your uncle's coworkers are some real creeps. Who likes talking to kids that much? Also, why is nobody calling the police when you're getting stalked by a terrorist?!"

Jerry was not normally this intense. Alex sighed. "It's complicated, Jerry."

The man looks at him. "Just promise me one thing."

Alex looked Jerry in the eyes. "Yes, Jerry?"

Jerry's expression hardens. "If it becomes too much, if this is toxic, get out and don't come back. Please Alex, run if it is too much."

Alex knew he might not keep that promise. There were too many questions he wanted answered. "I promise, Jerry." Alex knew he might break it one day.

Jerry left. Tom came up to him and pulled him close. "Sorry, man, he gets like that sometimes. We were both worried about you."

Alex remembered Tom was only eleven this time and not nearly as outgoing. "You don't need to worry about me, Tom."

Tom laughed softly. "I'm your friend, Alex, it's my job to worry about you."

Alex pulled him in tighter. "It's fine, Tom."

The boy laughs softly, his breath ghosting Alex's neck. "Alex, you'd tell me that if the world was on fire and the floor was melting beneath our feet."

Alex rubbed Tom's back. "It's a character flaw."

He whispers with a soft grin, gently laying his cheek against Tom's hair. He felt rather than saw Tom's lips upturn. "My favorite one of yours, actually. That and your white knight complex."

Alex's grin turned shit-eating. "Aw, so is this when we kiss and make-up?"

Tom shoves him lightly off. "No, you perv. That was a platonic bro-hug."

Alex keeps grinning. "You know you want me."

Tom rolls his eyes. "Like a broken foot and in your dreams."

Alex just laughs and so does Tom. "Need a hand with your dog, Al?"

Alex shrugged. "You can help if you want. Fair warning, there will be a giant mess and both of us will get soaked."

Tom grinned. "When do we start?"

Alex grabbed the shampoo for the dog and the rest of the grooming tools. "Now."

Predictably, they both ended up soaking wet and covered in suds. "You do this every week?"

Alex grinned. "Yep, sometimes more. Wasn't that fun Tom?"

Tom threw one of the brushes at Alex. Fenrir caught it before it got anywhere near him. "Damn dog. It loves you the most."

Alex smirked. "I'm just that charming."

Tom snorted. "Charming people into being homicidal, maybe."

Alex just rolled his eyes. "Go change, Tom. Jack won't appreciate puddles in the kitchen." Tom left.

Ian got up early the next day to go into work. While it was a relief that the wolf hadn't killed anyone, Ian couldn't help being suspicious. Why was Alex in areas with that many rats in the first place? He was pretty sure it was below ground because if there were that many rats above ground there would have been public outcry by now. He sighed as he put on a suit. Sometimes he wondered if he wasn't being overly interfering, but then, there was Gregorovich to consider. Also, adding in the fact that Alex could not stay out of trouble if his life depended on it. Ian wondered if he wouldn't have done better to raise Alex more normally. The incident when he was seven had resulted in the addition of Jack Starbright and confirmed his fears that Alex would not be kept out of his world entirely. Ian figured he'd done well to teach Alex. At the same time, Alex now had attention from some very unsavory sources. There was also the fact that his nephew had begun to run his own operations. Ian was not blind to the fact that Alex was an operator, albeit on a very irregular and comparatively low-radar basis. Then again, could Yassen really be considered off the radar? Ian supposed he'd just have to wait and see. He got the feeling that Alex was planning something. Something big. And explosive. Ian just hoped he didn't get shot for it. He would do his best to shield Alex, but there were some things and people he couldn't go against. His thoughts turned to his report as he walked in.

He was greeted by Crawley. Not a surprise really. Ian always thought the lobby looked rather empty for a bank, but he didn't dare mention it to Jones. She might get offended. She and Blunt had designed the front for the 'bank'. It wasn't meant to fool operators, so he supposed it was fine. "The heads want you upstairs."

Ian shrugged. That wasn't a surprise either. "You coming for this?"

Crawley shrugged. "My clearance is technically high enough."

Ian raised an eyebrow. It had been a while since he'd been on a black op. Technically, all of his missions were off-the-books, but this was extra off-the-books. "Basically, no."

Crawley shrugged. "Baxter's there, too, if that helps."

Ian mentally groaned. The deputy head of Black Operations? This was going to be a cluster fuck. He opened the door to Blunt's office and Crawley left as the door shut. The office had four people. It was Jones, Blunt, Baxter, and a man he didn't recognized. The man was about average height, with average brown hair and average brown eyes. The only thing Ian could really say about him is that he looked exceptionally average, like Crawley usually did. "Who is this?"

Ian figured he may as well try to assess the situation. "I'm Gregory Gregson, chief analyst for MI6 Blacks Operations."

Ian had to try very hard to bite back the commentary. He'd been spending too much time with Alex, he supposed. Not that there was such a thing. "Okay. Why are we assembled here on this fine day?"

Ian was naturally sarcastic. The other four tactfully ignored him. "The head of Black Operations is a problem. I'm sure, as experienced operative, you noticed he isn't present."

Ian was careful not to react. "It's been going on for a while, yeah. What changed?"

Gregson plopped a ginormous file on the desk. "In a word, SCORPIA."

Ian wondered when they were going to get the point. "We can no longer afford such a weak leader in light of their recent growth and rapid spread."

Ian sighed. "So why am I here? Last I checked, you'd have about as many volunteers as agents for a shooter."

Gregson stepped forward and continued. "Therein lies the problem. Despite his incompetence, our director retains political allies - we suspect nepotism and bribes play a role."

Ian sighed. He hated politicians. "So why aren't you calling MI5?"

This was their jurisdiction. "We want an expedited and internal solution to avoid a scandal."

Of course they did. It was just Ian's luck. "Why not call in contractors, then?"

Again, Ian was NOT an assassin. His specialty was intelligence for god's sake. "We're still blacklisted on most lists due to our stunt with SCORPIA."

Ian mentally screamed. He'd forgotten the vindictive little shits did that, truth be told. They still had five months until it lifted, too. He noticed the uptick in killing, sure, but he figured it was just them being cheap again. "Where is he?"

Depending on where it was, he may or may not take Alex for this. "Argentina."

Ian resisted a swear word or two. "Why?"

Gregson sighed. "Officially, he's inspecting the base. Unofficially, it's recreational."

Ian muttered under his breath. "Of course it is."

Baxter snorted. "I told you we should have just poisoned him before he was elected by the committee."

Jones looked snappy. "Because that is so helpful now."

Ian decided to interject before there was open warfare between the two branches. "Right, so how much do we know and when do I leave?"

He wasn't going to take Alex on this. It was almost pure politics. Not to mention, Alex had a low enough opinion of his job as it was. "In a week. Your files stay here."

Ian looked at Jones. "The usual and protection for my house, yeah?"

Jones sighed. "Of course, Ian."

Ian shrugged. "I'm out. Have fun politicking." He barely resisted slamming the door.

Damn, he hated the assassination assignments. Why was it always him? He decided to stalk off to Crawley's office. He plopped himself down in one of Crawley's brand new office chairs (courtesy of him). The door snapped shut behind him. "You're an interfering shit, you know that." It was Crawley. There was no actual bite to the words.

"Music to my ears, Crawley, music to my ears." Ian states with a smirk.

"Fuck you." Ian lets out a mock gasp and clutches his chest.

"Crawley, we just had that sexual harassment training! Didn't you hear the consent portion?" Crawley snorts. Ian goes back to smirking.

"Besides, it'd be the other way around." Crawley rolls his eyes.

"Moving on to the reason you decided to occupy my office in the fashion of an overbearing panther." Ian sits up.

"The demons are sending me on another assassination." Crawley sighed. He knew Ian had actual issues aside from the joking. Plus, the man adamantly refused anything besides the mandatory psych evals.

"You are good at it. Besides, they usually send you after the really evil fuckers." Ian was ador- Crawley cut off the line of thought. The man was huffy for a reason, now to drag it out of him.

"It's the head of MI6 Black Operations." Ah, the political/incompetence kill, usually reserved for the criminal element.

"The dumbass who let the mutants escape into the wild before they were sterilized and got a whole bunch of people killed? It's not a loss Ian." Ian's smile left his face.

"Crawley my family-" Crawley cut him off.

"I'll personally ensure their safety." Ian looked worried.

"Crawley-" Crawley cut him off and stepped toward him.

"You're just doing your job, mate, it's fine." Ian was now looking at him with big brown eyes.

"What will people think of me?" Crawley pulled him into a hug (the door was locked).

"If they're smart, they'll think you're a good agent." Ian was quietly returning the hug for a while.

Unfortunately, the Jones chose the exact moment Ian calmed down to barge in. "Crawley, how many times do I have to tell you not to use your door lock?!"

Jones saw them jump apart. "I'm so sorry."

She turned pink and hightailed it out of there. Crawley groans. "Here come the office rumors."

Ian snorted. "We were fully clothed."

Crawley snorted. "See if that stops anyone from believing it."

Ian shrugged. "I don't much care about those sorts of rumors." Ian grinned. "Or you could move in and we could give them something real to talk about."

Crawley cuffed his coworker. "You are not funny."

Ian smirked. "No, I'm hilarious."

Crawley felt like banging his head against the wall. On the other hand, this was a good opportunity. "Actually, I think we could do it."

Ian grinned. "Getting lonely in your old age?"

Crawley rolled his eyes. "We're the same age, Ian." Crawley let out a smirk of his own. "We could even make it permanent, just to confuse Jones."

Ian was having way too much fun with this idea. "I'll ask the family. Cheers." Ian sauntered out. Crawley was just glad he made Ian's day. Besides, how bad could two adults, two kids, and a dog be (aside from Ian)? The house the man bought had been ginormous for some reason. It was coming in handy right now, he supposed. Ian was actually in a good mood when he went back to his office and started reading the files. He'd memorize them in the next couple days. He was sure no one would mind their newest addition. Crawley could even tutor Alex while he was away, when Alex wasn't doing independent study. Jones walked into his office. "I was wondering…"

Ian raised an eyebrow. "Yes, boss."

Jones sighed. "Are you an agent Crawley involved?"

Ian gave her his trademark innocent smile. "We're just friends ma'am."

Her ass, was her first thought. "Friends who are planning on moving in together. You do know don't ask, don't tell doesn't apply to you, right?"

Ian gave her his best indignant look. "Good day, ma'am." Ian grinned after she shut the door. He was going to bet that it would be around the office soon enough. Ian loved pulling this stuff with Crawley.

Crawley printed out the OSA's. With two agents and mini, there was bound to be a slip-up at some point. It was best to have those three informed of a few facts. Besides, mini was being stalked by an assassin. Three watchers was better than one. Ian pulled into the driveway. Well, this would be interesting. "Family meeting in five!"

They all sit at the table. The wolf is, predictably, next to Alex. Ian explained the situation to the four of them. It was met with varying levels of skepticism. Jack had the look on her face. "So let me get this straight. You want your coworker to move in to prank your boss and it's permanent."

Ian smiled. "Exactly."

Jerry starts up. "We're fine with whomever you want to live with Ian, so long as they're nice to you."

Alex was carefully restraining a laugh. He didn't really care if Ian and Crawley were together, but this was awesome. Fortunately, Tom piped up (he wasn't subtle at all). "You know, nobody here cares if you're gay, right? 'Cause you're still awesome."

Alex fought to keep a straight face. Ian decided to give up on convincing them, it was clearly a lost cause. "Alright, voting time. Since this affects all of you, I think you should have a vote, particularly Jack."

It was a unanimous yes. Ian wasn't surprised. "Alex my office after dinner. You're not in trouble."

The dinner was passed cheerfully. Alex went upstairs to join Ian. Ian looked tense. "You don't mind, do you?"

Alex laughed. "No, Ian. Of all the things…" Alex shrugged. "It doesn't really matter, Ian. Even if you and Crawley do end up together, you're still Ian. You're still the man who taught me everything important in life and the person who raised me. I love you no matter what."

Ian looked oddly vulnerable. "Even if I kill people?"

Alex shrugged. "Even then. Besides, I can't really talk, now can I?"

Ian had almost forgotten Alex shot someone for him. He suddenly hugged Alex. "I love you too, Alex. Always." Alex felt like he was in a dream. He drifted back to his room.

Yassen Gregorovich was surprisingly pleased with his pupil. He hadn't expected to be able to put up with anybody except Alex. Rhea was more like him, if he was being honest. Her medical scans had come back clean and the scars were entirely superficial, if rather recognizable. SCORPIA taught disguises and Nile had a similarly recognizable condition. It would be a minor issue. Rhea had absolutely no morals and an excellent work ethic. Perhaps Alex had a future in human resources. Yassen doubted he would take that comment from him with any grace, so he kept his mouth shut. This was much better than any adult student. He would send Alex something nice when he got the chance. This really wasn't all that bad, although he was aware that his student retained some compromising feelings towards the boy. It would be hypocritical of him to criticize her, but he supposed he should try to prevent the inevitable disappointment. "Rhea, you must understand something about Alec."

He saw no reason to give her Alex's real name either. "Yes?"

Yassen was said to have no tact. "Boys like Alec don't go for girls like you. He will most likely marry some nice, normal girl."

Rhea shrugs. "I know. It doesn't really change things does it?"

Yassen smiled humorlessly. "I suppose not."

Rhea sighed. "Does it get any easier?"

Cossack shrugged. "You might have a chance at girlfriend or mistress, but in the end I suppose it is up to you. It is both easier and harder that way."

Rhea sighs. "Can we do the sniper rifles again?" Cossack figured the practice wouldn't hurt either of them.