Hello everyone! Longest chapter yet! also very important: TORTURE WARNING
"Wake up. Quickly!" an urgent voice pulled me out of slumber and I blinked blearily at our teacher for a moment before it really sunk in she was here.
"You're back! I was so worried!" Leila slipped off her side of the bed and ran to the teacher.
"It may be just for today. I have been given a task concerning you two" She explained looking nervous. She hadn't ever actually been to our room before.
"what task?" I asked slipping out and shivering as my feet touched the cold floor.
"I am taking you two to the baths, but today will be a different day. A very dangerous day if you step out of line" She said looking at me. Why look at just me? Haldamire, I mean Leila, is here too. Goodness, her new name is starting to meld permanently in my mind. I didn't do anything.
"We won't step out of line" Leila reassured her looking frightened "I still remember very clearly having my leg broken and hearing it." The teacher nodded, but still looked nervous. Sometimes I wonder if she is ever not nervous.
"what going to happen today? I thought Tar- Mairon was coming to get us" I asked.
"He will take you from the Great Throne Room" She said wringing her hands together in agitation.
"Great Throne Room? Where and what is that?" Leila questioned.
"It's where the Lord Melkor rules from. He will not be there when you both are. I think that was arranged purposefully. There is going to be some sort of public ceremony. I will explain the rules you have to follow. I mean it very seriously, if you miss or forget anything, my life will be forfeit and yours filled with relentless torment for a long time. You must listen to me! Now come to the baths. I will explain it there because today your clothes are more formal and I will do your hair. They want the others to be jealous"
"jealous?" I muttered looking at Leila. She shrugged and the teacher just moved to leave the room causing us to run after her. She's in such a rush today. She was walking quicker then Leila and I could keep up making us have to jog after her. Damn these extremely tall people.
"Quickly. Quickly now" She urged leading us into the bathing room "The water should be cool enough by now that it won't burn you."
"Okay, we are going" I sighed poking a finger in the water to make sure it really was cool enough. The amount of times over the past few months or years here that we have accidently gotten ourselves burned with the bath water is uncountable.
"what is going to happen today?" Leila asked pulling her clothes over her head. Our teacher looked upset, but answered anyway after a momentary pause.
"They are going to show the maiar, orcs, and other abominations that you belong to them and no is allowed to touch you otherwise" She explained.
"Other abominations?" Leila asked at the same time I said "that doesn't sound so bad."
"No, you do not comprehend yet Airawende. What I mean is that it is going to be a very public showing or maybe ceremony is a better word" She fidgeted nervously and leaned over to help me with pouring water over my hair. I frowned and looked at Leila.
"What do we have to do" Leila inquired wringing her hair out.
"Go sit in that chair Airawende while I dry your hair and braid it." She said without answering. I looked up at her with my head tilted quizzically, but she stayed quiet.
"What do we have to do?" Leila asked louder as the teacher began to briskly wring out my hair with some kind of rough cloth. Usually we let it air dry, but apparently today I must suffer pain in my head. She pointed at another folded up cut of rough cloth and Leila picked it up using it to dry her hair.
"You simply must follow these very basic instructions and other commands they may give you while you are there. And well any commands they give you ever, but today especially I fear the retribution of disobedience is more than you can survive sanely" She tugged at my hair.
"I understand what you are saying. You need not fear anything, but complete good behavior from me. I don't want to be hit again nor do I wish to be responsible for anything happening to you" I exhaled as Leila nodded vigorously in agreement.
"when we go to the Great Throne room all you need to do is walk up and bow all the way, like you have been taught, to your masters, and then repeat the vow they give you. Afterwards, they will place a collar around your neck with their symbols. After that I do not know what they might ask you to do or if you will simply return." She pushed me up slightly and I moved from the chair allowing Leila to sit, but she seemed to be frozen in shock where she was.
"A..a.. collar" she choked out in disbelief. I remembered the time we had run away and Gothmog had wrapped one around my neck. It came off two days later when they checked on us and recorded our healing progress. I hadn't had once since and figured it was just because I ran away. I was in too much to be really drastically upset about it at the time, but now I just feel sort of empty with an undercurrent of dismay.
"Is it temporary?" I asked bitterly. She shook her looking at us pityingly and barely touched the steel one around her own neck. She had scars from it around her neck. I hope we didn't get scars from it.
"I don't want" Haldamire, I mean Leila, began haltingly as she sat numbly in the chair.
"You must or you will suffer. It will happen either way, but this is the most painless. Airawende your robes are over there. They are much finer today, so be careful. You do not want anything torn or out of place." Our teacher said beginning to deftly untangle and fix Leila's hair. I sulkily began to carefully put on each layer trying not to move around so my hair fell out or got undone. Though, it did seem really secure. I reached up a hand trying to feel what she done. It didn't take very long before Leila was over here helping me and putting on her own robes with Teacher's help.
"how do you know where everything is? Its like a maze" I asked curiously. She snorted softly.
"You have seen less than one tenth of this fortress Airawende. It is much bigger than you can imagine. I know where I need to go and nowhere else because if I do not know then I will suffer". She closed her eyes a moment as if lost and then opened them with seemingly renewed energy. "Let us go now. Lateness will not be well received any better than disobedience". She pulled me behind her to the door and let go. opening it, she urged us to hurry out and bid us follow her. Fortunately, she was walking slower than on the way here so we did not need to run. She took a took a different path than the way back to our rooms and we followed behind taking each other's hand securely.
"How far away is it exactly?" I groaned feeling my calves burn as took yet another flight of stairs. Leila elbowed me pointedly, but she can't hide that she is also exhausted from walking. I can hear her wheezing.
"It is not so far now. Luckily for all of us most of the creatures that roam these halls are already there so we need not fear running into trouble ahead as much" she turned and looked at us struggling up the stairs and shook her head.
"As much" Leila repeated looking at me. I nodded back to her "as much." And let out a little giggle causing her to choke back a laugh.
"This is no time for games children!" our teacher exclaimed looking from me to Leila with wide eyes. We went silent, but I couldn't help the small smile tugging at the corner of my mouth when she turned and began walking up again. A loud snorting noise from up near the top of the stairs had me freezing in terror and I felt Leila completely stiffen beside me. Our teacher looked up and back towards us. Her expression was haunted and pale and she shook her head back and forth several times. She fumbled slightly trying to pull something out of her tattered clothes.
"It won't dare stop us. It won't dare bother us" She tried to give us a reassuring gaze, but I'm pretty sure she was just trying to reassure herself.
"what is it?" I whimpered clutching Leila's hand tightly. She shook her head mutely and grabbed my hand pulling me behind her up the stairs. I resisted for a moment before remember it was her life at stake if we messed up. I'm not gonna do that. I'm not going to cause her to die or to suffer or anything. Leila won't either. I felt my heart falter and fell back half a step when we finally reached the top and Leila let out a little yip of terror. What was that thing?! It looked brown and black with uneven patches of fur and skin around its body. It had ugly black horns curling into the air and red eyes dripping something. Water? Snot? I bit my lip hard enough to cause a drop of blood to well up and drew in a breath of horror when it appeared to sniff the air. Our teacher ran one hand down her other arm and back up very quickly shaking and when the monster/thing/it moved half a step closer and she let out a jumble of halting terrified words holding up some kind of paper. It barely glanced at the paper, but shifted back a little allowing us room to pass. She barely even had to look at us before Leila and bolted past it as fast we could while trying not to run.
"Almost there, just up ahead the massive doors" she looked back at the thing absolutely terrified and my heart jumped again noticing that it was following us a few steps behind. I looked forward in heart stopping when it sniffed the air again. The doors really were massive. I know that I ever never seen doors this huge in life or in movies. They were so tall it almost seemed as if you could really see the ceiling. Actually come to think of it, I did not notice when the ceiling suddenly got taller than it had been. I was tempted to look back at the ceiling where the stairs were and see if was shorter, but I couldn't bear to see that thing again. The corridor in either side was huge in diameter as well. You could probably fit a mountain in this corridor or something. Our teacher stopped in front of the door and released a breath.
"Are you both ready? You remember what to do?" she asked urgently. We both glanced at each other and nodded resolutely. "Good, good. Please do not look at the monsters on either side. I fear it will cause you to freeze in fear. Please. Please, you must not look to the side. Only to your masters or the floor and do what they tell you." Her eyes bored fearfully and urgently into mine and then Leila's. She was shaking enough it made me realize that I was shaking. And so was Leila! She rubbed a hand across her cheek and knocked on the doors twice. My heart was pounding so loudly in my chest it was a wonder I could think at all. Don't look Airawende. No, my name is CHLOE! I felt tears prick my eyes slightly. I can't look. I won't look. Curiosity is not stronger then my fear. It's not. It's not. I thought back to when Gothmog and ripped open my feet with a whip and my panic increased. Leila squeezed my hand and I squeezed back. I swallowed giving Leila a look of terror and taking in her own look of horror as all sorts of strange animalistic and indescribable noises became audible as the doors swung inwards.
"Don't hold each other!" our teacher hissed quietly.
Fortunately I could see Tar-Mairon glowing brightly and golden red all the way down the hall. I let go of Leila's hand and kept my eyes trained to the floor and walking slowly feeling her mimic my pace. We kept stride with each other and I occasionally glanced up to make sure I was straight. I shivered feeling what felt like thousands of eyes and evil intentions boring into me from all sides. I'm not looking. I'm not. It felt like time was moving slower than it ever had before each second slowly dripping down into an eternal abyss. Time continued to move slowly and I was almost surprised with I nearly tripped over the stairs. I looked up blinking at Tar- Mairon's brightness and looking over at Gothmog beside him. They seemed as tall as mountains standing on the stairs like this. There was huge throne, it looked like it could fit 5 Tar-Mairon's in it, behind them. I felt Leila poke me and suddenly remember we needed to bow. I tried to, as gracefully as possible, to sink into it. I felt a burning shame at all the eyes on me and what I was doing so publicly. Am I so weak. It was a hollowing feeling to realize both Leila and I were.
Usually he let us up fairly quickly, but it didn't seem so today. My arms started burning and shaking after what felt like forever. I could hear Leila's struggling breaths and realized this pose must killing her for such a long hold as well. I tried to shake off the humiliation suffusing me.
"You may rise Haldamire" He said after what felt like, seriously it felt like this, a century. I couldn't decide if she was fortunate or cursed considering I was still stuck here with my arms shaking uncontrollably from holding this position. I tried to glance up with my eyes without moving my head at all, but it was impossible. I finally managed to tilt my head slightly to the right allowing myself to see what was happening. Another tall beautiful one with dark black hair and dark eyes was holding what the orc had earlier. He proffered it up to Tar-Mairon slowly. Leila looked like she was about to combust with being upset and shamed. her face was red in embarrassment and a tear rolled down her cheek when he closed the necklace collar thingy around her neck. He said something in another language I didn't know. For heaven's sake why is there another language? Leila repeated it back to him in a trembling voice. An impending sense of doom seemed to fill me when she finished. Something about this seemed so final. So permanent. It was just words.
"Airawende" Gothmog said making a motion as I looked up awkwardly craning my neck back to see. I stood shakily trying not to fall over as blood rushed back into my feet. I approached a couple steps closer with my eyes on the floor. I didn't want to see his emotionless face. Something about this whole thing just feels perversely wrong, but I can't wrap my finger around why. I mean I know why it is wrong, but I do not know why its wrong. I swallowed nervously feeling the metal close around my neck loosely and heard it snap together. He said something in that other language and following Leila's example I tried to repeat as best I could. I stumbled awkwardly over a few of the syllables, but I think it was managed pretty well. I was beginning to feel burning awkwardness from what was happening and couldn't help the self-loathing intertwined with rage at Tar-Mairon and Gothmog.
I blinked all the moisture out of my eyes. It wasn't hard considering how much hotter and drier the air was being around them. "Kneel next to me, but don't bow your head" He ordered to both me and Leila. I slipped down hard enough to wince as my knees hit the floor. Tar-Mairon was looking forward across the hall and I realized the doors were opening again. Some orcs in chains were being dragged in by other orcs. I was completely baffled, but tried to just look ahead without showing my confusion. I saw Leila looked absolutely horror struck at their appearance, but hold up her position kneeling next to Tar-Mairon without shifting.
Tar-Mairon began speaking loudly in that language we hadn't been taught and loud noises, growls, and laughter sounded in a raucous chorus. I winced wishing I could put hands over my ears it was so loud. They were forcefully pushed to the ground in front of the dais. One of them tried to say something, but one of the ones who brought them hit him over the head hard enough even I could hear a crack. Tar-Mairon pulled out small wickedly curved blade and descended from the dais.
I couldn't help the loud rush of breath that escaped me, but forcefully swallowed a scream as black blood spattered over my face and arms. I could hear Leila moan in horror, but refused to look at her lest I lose my control to fear. More blood spattered over us and Gothmog as Tar-Mairon used his knife on of the orcs kneeling. Neither of them seemed bothered by the blood. Fear descended over my entire body as I finally looked at the crowd below. Indescribable horror is what met my gaze. Things put together and twisted that shouldn't exist seemed to be standing or crawling. Plenty of orcs and other beautiful ones seemed intermingled in the mix, but I couldn't make myself look more than a second. What I had seen was burned into my mind, I think it will be impossible to forget. Where are we really? This can't be anyplace but hell. This is hell. Nothing like that could possibly exist otherwise. Not even more blood spilling onto the floor and spraying us could take my mind away from what I'd seen in a second. It's not real. It's not real. No, it's real. It is real. I sucked in a breath and shook my head mumbling something before looking up and catching Gothmog staring at me. I froze instantly terror clouding my senses. What was he really? I don't want to be hurt anymore. I don't want him to punish me. Tar-Mairon was already on the third orc and it seemed blood and flesh was strewn about them on the floor. Time seemed to tick on in a haze of endless confusion and when he got to the last one he returned to the dais and offered the blade to Leila.