Chapter 52: Almost Back to Normal

Alex thought his week was going pretty well. Tom had to go back to school, but Alex had his own studies to keep him busy. Alex ran his hands through Fenrir's as the dog, once again, tried to take the book from Alex. He chuckled as Fenrir did what looked like a dog pout. "What is it, fluff? You normally let me study."

Fenrir let out a whine. "Oh, alright."

Alex got up and went to the door. He was genuinely surprised to see Joe Byrne there. "Hi. Ian's out."

Joe rolled his eyes and muttered. "Is Ian ever not out?"

Alex raised an eyebrow at Joe. "Are you here for something specific? I have actual college homeschool to get back to."

Joe looked at him. "So, I'm actually here for you, Alex, or whatever your real name is."

Alex shrugged and let him in. "Alex is fine."

Joe sat down. "Hello, Joe. Do you want some tea?"

Fenrir began pacing. "What's the matter?"

Fenrir looked at Joe and then at him. "What Ian doesn't know won't give him an aneurysm, fluff. Don't worry."

Joe looked between him and the dog. "Your uncle let you adopt that monstrosity?"

Alex smirked. "Not exactly."

Joe began slowly scooting away from a fluffing up Fenrir. "You do know what happened with the other 'dogs' of his 'breed', right?"

Alex gave Joe a rather wry grin. He could practically hear the air quotes. "Probably a good deal more than you, Joe."

Joe shuffled uncomfortably again. "What did you want, Joe?"

Joe shifted guiltily. Really, compared to Blunt, he was almost an open book. "So, um, the time you stayed with Antonio. Did you notice anything odd about him?"

Alex gave Joe a snarky look. "Besides the whole drug dealing thing, you mean? Cut to the point, Joe."

Joe sighed loudly. "I'm not really sure how to ask this."

Alex looked at Joe. "Just spit it out."

Fenrir was now approaching the man. "Fenrir, down. I like Joe's internal organs where they are."

Joe's lips twitched. "Thanks, so do I."

Joe cleared his throat and continued. "Well, Antonio murdered one of our agents last week. He claims it was a cooking accident with poisonous mushrooms, but, well…we don't believe him."

Alex nodded. "Is that all?"

Joe gave him a strange look. "I mean, I hope that's all."

Joe seemed to accept it. "You spent the longest around him and his son. We, well, the analysts, were hoping you could tell us a few things about him."

Alex thought for a minute. "I'm not really sure what to say. He was cold, ruthless. He could be charming, I suspect. Miguel loved him. Seemed pretty normal and crime boss-ish to me."

Joe sighed. "Right. I was hoping for maybe a few more details."

Alex ran a hand down Fenrir's back. The part he could reach, anyway. "What did you want to know?"

Joe shrugged. "Why he murdered the guy, basically. You don't have to talk to me."

Alex looked at Joe. He was a little more sensitive than Crawley or Tulip had been. "Most likely, your guy tried to pull something Antonio thought would hurt his business. It's all the bottom line with these guys, Joe."

Joe almost had another flashback to Odair. Of course, Odair had been talking about SCORPIA. "But what?"

Alex shrugged. "Beats me. I wasn't there. I didn't see it."

Joe shrugged. "Does he seem mentally stable to you?"

Alex tilted his head. "Yes. Almost too sane."

Joe pulled out a piece of paper. "Sorry, I'll try to file off the unnecessary ones. The analysts think a brief list of questions is one to five pages."

Alex grinned. "Anything for less paperwork, huh, Joe?"

Joe flipped him off. "My eyes, my innocent eyes."

Joe snorted. "I know for a fact you've used this hand gesture before."

Alex smirked. Joe scanned the list. "Abuse of any kind?"

Alex rolled his eyes. "Not on children. He has some sort of code he follows.

Joe glanced at him. "No children?"

Alex shrugged. "Not to the best of my knowledge."

Joe sighed and groaned at the list. "I'm not asking a kid that or that. I have a sense of decency."

Alex let out a long sigh. Joe could, apparently, take a hint. "Okay. One more and then we're done."

Alex lightly pets Fenrir some more. "Good."

Joe made a face. Alex was beginning to think Joe didn't like their questions. "Did he mention any other kinds of backing?"

Alex shrugged. "Not to me. He didn't exactly go on about his business, though. Pretty sensible about keeping his mouth shut, that one."

Joe ran a hand through his hair. Alex was texting the man as soon as this was over. "Thank you, Alex. You're very brave."

Alex barked out a laugh that was half surprise and half amusement. He wasn't exactly the torture-resistant type. "No, I mean it."

Alex was genuinely surprised. Blunt hadn't exactly been the thanking type. Ian wasn't exactly overflowing with gratitude, either. Alex chuckled softly. "No worries, Joe. Now, you best get lost. I don't think Ian likes you and he can legally kill you for trespassing because of his job."

Joe gave him a lopsided grin. "Yeah, I went to his boss for this one. Blunt...don't fuck with him, okay?"

Alex rolled his eyes. "Goodbye, Joe. Go mentor your own kids or whatever it is you do with spare time."

Joe left.

That was one of the first conversations that Joe had enjoyed on a non-professional level in a long time. Odair had said in his last letter that Joe would meet someone else one day. Joe hadn't believed it, but maybe Odair's freakishly good (and very useful) intuition had struck one last time before he vanished off the face of the Earth. Joe fingered the letter he carried on him at all times. The analytics department had finished with it years ago and he had gotten it back. Jones had just given him a soft sympathetic look and shown him her picture of John Rider in her office, hidden behind a generic picture. They were quite something, weren't they? Joe sighed softly. He had officially given up the search, but unofficially… Well, his marriage had already been pretty dead and the kids in college. Yes, Tulip, they were. They all were. Joe remembered the good old days. The Cold War. There had been no SCORPIA then. That was how it all got started, though. They had been legends before they turned. Like Odair. Like John Rider. But of course, they went into business for themselves. Before Odair, even. Or at least, before Odair worked for them. Joe got the impression the man had worked for others during the Cold War and slightly after. Joe could still make his way to the Parliament building blindfolded. He decided to visit for nostalgia's sake. Joe got on a bus. The London bus system had been one of the few things he'd agreed was good in London. The bus was practically empty. It was a working day for most people and the hour was before any kind of rush. Apparently, he wasn't the only nostalgic one. "Joe."

The CIA and SCORPIA were on decent terms. That didn't mean either of them were without their security teams. He turned. "Brendan."

The Australian man was standing in the square. He was still quite good-looking if you like them tan, he supposed. Chase made his security team while Joe made his. "So, we're pretty evenly matched."

Joe raised an eyebrow. "You don't want to go that route, trust me."

Chase smirked. "That's what they all said. But today, for now, I believe you."

Joe rolled his eyes. "What do you want, Brendan?"

Joe deliberately used the man's first name. "Would you call me a liar if I said lunch?"

Joe quirked an eyebrow. "Yes."

Chase pouted but relented. "Well, you wouldn't be wrong. We came to let MI6 off their eleven-year no-hit hook."

Joe rolled his eyes. "Wow, really? We never get one and we sent more spies."

Chase smirked. "Yes, but we make them and execute them. Two, you're actually decently likable. Three, you never screwed us over like the others did."

Joe rolled his eyes. "Not my problem, I suppose."

Chase stretched out like a rather slinky cat. "So, are you coming to lunch or not?"

Joe rolled his eyes. "Fine. But I'm paying for my half."

Chase raised an eyebrow. "Don't be ridiculous, Joe. I make over twenty times your salary. Way over."

Joe snorted. "Nice try. Besides, this is on the company dime."

Chase smirked. "Good, embrace the corruption."

Joe mentally groaned. Some things never changed. "Shut the fuck up, Chase."

People had been shot for less, but Chase knew better than to kill him. The director would throw a hissy fit and shoot a bunch of expensive SCORPIA goons, after all. Chase kept right on walking with his shit-eating grin. "You haven't changed at all, Joe."

Joe could already feel the migraine. He already regretted accepting.

Ian Rider was at the bank. Alan Blunt was sitting across from him. "We had a visitor today." Ian grit his teeth. "You were kept from the bank. We wouldn't want someone interfering with that visit." Ian assumed Blunt would get to the bloody point soon. "You are not to accost, contact, kill, assault, threaten, or interact in any form, through any person, with Brendan Chase while he is in London, do I make myself clear?"

Ian felt the hate burn just beneath the calm veneer he was wearing. This was outrageous. "Yes, sir."

Agent Rider would not interact with him, at least. Blunt didn't know all of his secrets. Neither did Alex. Jones and Blunt had never connected him and "Shade". Mainly because "Shade" had once been three people and Ian had a solid alibi every time. Father, John, Him. They had all covered for each other so completely nobody had suspected even one of them. "Ian?"

It was Tulip. "Yes, Tulip. I understand completely."

Ian was so done with their shit it wasn't even funny. Jones sighed. "I was asking you if you wanted coffee, Ian."

Ian shrugged. "Don't drink it anymore."

He hadn't drank coffee in the office in years. "Ian, please."

Ian shrugged. "Alright, then."

Jones sat them down in her office. Coffee for her tea for him. "What do you want, Jones?"

The woman raised an eyebrow at him. "I can't just want coffee?"

Ian smirked. "It's never just coffee. Just like it's never just surveillance, Tulip."

Tulip pursed her lips. "Please don't do anything stupid."

Ian gave her his most charming smile. "Relax, Tulip, I can always bomb the barge the board meets on later."

Tulip Jones just looked at him funny. "What?"

Tulip sighed. "Sometimes, I think we sent you on too many assassinations."

Ian smirked. "Don't get sentimental on me now, Tulip."

She continued, ignoring his interruption. "Sometimes, I don't think we sent you on enough."

Ian shrugged. "It's over now, Tulip. I can be an agent again. You can get hired guns now."

Tulip looked at him. "Ian."

Ian actually sat up and looked her in the eye. "Tulip?"

Tulip sighed. "Alan- I don't -"

Ian smirked. "Did you think I wouldn't notice the pattern Tulip? I was killing off his political rivals, too. You and I. We're stuck, Tulip. Don't do anything stupid, either."

Ian moved to get up. She physically grabbed him. Ian had her in a chokehold before he registered it in his mind. Ian immediately dropped her. "You should know better than to grab anyone like me, Tulip."

Tulip was still gripping his forearm. "You can let go now."

The woman sighed. "Ian, please."

Ian stopped. Tulip never said please. "It's Alex."

Ian instantly froze inside. "Alan let Joe Byrne visit him. He's grooming him to be the next John, Ian, except with more agencies."

Ian growled. "Not on my watch!"

Ian brought out his unauthorized 'pen'. The buzzing filled the air. Ian wasn't sure if it was the device or his own adrenaline. "Tell me, Tulip. Could you take over if Blunt suddenly went missing?

Ian Rider was stuck. He could either avenge his brother or secure Alex's future away from MI6, for the moment. Ian knew he shouldn't even be considering Chase, but the man was in London. In a district, he knew well. So close. Ian could practically taste the man's blood. On the other hand, there was Alex. Alan Blunt was a ruthless man. Or he could do neither. He could go home on time for once. Be with Alex and the rest of his family. Plot both of their deaths with more planning. Ian burnedwith fury. He wanted Chase's head on a platter. Blunt's, too. Crawley found him in his office. Ian was pacing. "Blunt wants you to teach hand-to-hand today."

Ian snapped. "Bloody fuck, Crawley. I'm going to break someone's neck."

Crawley sighed. "Ian."

Ian glared at him. "What?!"

Crawley gave him a look. "Look, I'm not stupid. I'll come with you, but you're explaining this after."

Ian huffed. He was going to throw whoever had broken the combat instructor's wrist off the top of the building if he was unsupervised, so Crawley had a point. "Fine."

Ian walked down the hall with quick, silent strides. Crawley thought it looked rather like a puma stalking its' prey. Ian went into the classroom and opened the door so hard that it bounced off the wall it slammed into and one of the hinges bent precariously. "Alright. I'm Agent Rider, your substitute instructor today. Which one of you little imbeciles broken Johnson's wrist?" Crawley gave him the stink eye. There was a reason Jones banned him from training, you know. One of them raised their hand. "Oh, good. You'll go first." Crawley cringed inwardly. Ian's smile was more than a little predatory. "Go on, then. Throw a punch." Crawley resisted the urge to whimper. Ian was terrifying when he was homicidal and hot, but mostly terrifying. The poor man didn't have a prayer. Nonetheless, he attempted a punch. Ian was fast. Thud. Snap! Crawley cringed. Rookie one was floored with a broken wrist and probably collarbone, maybe some strained ribs. Ian didn't have an ounce of pity. "Up! Work on not telegraphing your moves. Next!" Jesus. Crawley cringed. Oh, no. They had fourteen more to go. The second one walked up to Ian. "You'll notice he's wearing an actual necktie. This is a bad idea." He turned toward rookie number two. "Go on then." The guy's punch completely missed and Ian had landed a strike near the eyes before proceeding to choke the man with his own tie. "Right, notice how I'm choking him." Ian bodily hauled the man up to the slightly terrified class. "Wear a clip-on. They're harder to garrote people with." Drops rookie number two. The man gasped for breath for a few minutes. Crawley watched as he proceeded to go through the entire class in seconds for each one. At least there were no more broken bones. Meep. He'd already texted Jones for medical and therapy for all of them. "Right, class, besides my little life tips for each of you, what did you learn?"

Rookie two spoke up. "You're a terrifying fucker."

Ian rolled his eyes. "Not quite what I had in mind." Ian surveyed the class. "Anyone? Anyone at all? This isn't rhetorical." Crawley sighed. Ian kept speaking. "Tsk. Regulations say motivational whippings are strictly banned. Oh, well. My point here is that you don't want to face someone experienced or better trained in a fair fight. You'll die. Even I can't take, say, Yassen Gregorovich, in a fair fight. I'd die. We're spies, not assassins. Stealth, not fighting, is your greatest strength." Ian glanced at the clock. "Class dismissed!" Everyone practically ran out of there, even the guy with a broken collar bone. Crawley looked at Ian. Ian approached him slowly. "It's okay, Crawley, I won't hurt you."

Crawley inhaled. "Ian!"

The man gave him an innocent look. "What?"

Crawley glared at him. "You were a sadistic prick."

Ian raised an eyebrow. "Not as sadistic as a SCORPIA assassin when they catch agents. C'mon, Crawley, I barely bruised them. Well, except for the first one, but he broke Johnson's wrist."

Crawley shuddered at the mental image of Ian actually wanting to kill someone. "What would you do if someone broke mine?"

Ian smirked. "Throw them out a fifteenth-story window, of course."

Crawley hoped that was Ian's idea of a bad joke, he really did. "It's past your lunchtime by five minutes, Ian."

Crawley had never seen someone pack up class paperwork that fast before.

Crawley was antsy when they got home and Ian acted completely normal. Crawley could practically feel the rage simmering underneath. He watched Alex's sword lessons from the shadows. Ian didn't display any of his earlier rage or impatience. At least that was something. When everything was finally done and they were alone together, Ian gestured for him to sit down. Crawley was genuinely afraid. Ian reached for his face. Crawley barely contained a flinch. "John, I'm not going to hurt you."

A touch as light as a butterfly's wing grazed his cheek. "Ian, you were-"

Ian sat down next to him. "Out of control. Yes, I'm sorry. It almost never happens." Ian lightly took his hand. John was now less panicked. Damn it, the man's eyes looked so very innocent. Like he hadn't just assaulted a trainee and wasn't plotting the deaths of the entire board and Alan Blunt. "Feeling ambitious, Crawley?"

Crawley sighed. "Ian."

Ian gave him one of his 'totally innocent' looks. "What?"

Crawley wondered how to put this. "We need more time to plan."

Ian sighed, loudly. "You're not wrong."

Crawley was bad at this. Jones was way better at the touchy-feely stuff. "You can't kill everybody yet."

Ian smirked. "Yet."

John snorted. "You know, I think murdering Blunt while Chase is in town will start a shitshow even we can't negotiate."

Ian sighed again. "Yeah, Jones' denial combined with Chase being his usual slimy self is a bad mix. Plus, Joe is in town."

Crawley shrugged. "True, plus, you know, we can always plan a less rushed murder later on."

Ian grinned. It was more sadism than actual happiness. "Yeah. I'm still not happy. I just wish Blunt would keep his grubby paws away from my family and out of my life."

Crawley grinned. "Aw, but then who would threaten him with decapitation by proxy?"

Ian smirked. "I'm sure Alex would take up the mantle admirably."

Crawley rolled his eyes. "Yes, we should totally teach your nephew to death threat your boss on sight. Nothing could possibly go wrong here, nothing at all."

Ian grinned. "I'm not that bad, Crawley. Alex is still alive and mostly sane. He hasn't been maimed that badly."

Crawley rolled his eyes. Honestly, that was normally the bare minimum. Of course, with Mini, it was a real challenge, especially when Mini's favorite hobby was running away from home to vigilante kill other murderers. Gee, Crawley wondered where he got that from. Cough, Ian, cough. "Ian. I really think you should read more parenting books. I'll even buy you them."

Ian gave him a Cheshire grin. "I think my improvisation works fine. Alex is turning out great. He even tested at college level."

Crawley just stared at the man. Then again, Ian and Alex were comparable in the walking, breathing trainwreck department. "We even have a nice family reunion planned."

Crawley sighed. "Yeah, just make sure there are no wells close enough for Aunt Crazy to drown him in."

Ian grinned. "I already did. She'll have to walk twenty-eight kilometers for well-drowning of any kind."

Crawley resisted the urge to facepalm. That was supposed to be a joke. "We should go down to eat now."

Ian shrugged. "Yep. Is Starbright still clean?"

Crawley rolled his eyes. Honestly, that woman loved Alex. "Yep."

Alex was preparing for his meeting with the Pretty Committee. Tom was impatiently waiting in his room at his bedside for Alex to finish packing for a stay-over. It was a wonder that the adults let them have co-ed ones, but Alex was not about to bring attention to the fact. "Are you done yet?"

Alex finished watering his recently sprouted plant. It had taken so long, Alex had worried it was actually dead. "Yes, Tom."

Some things never changed. "Are you really going to keep at the gardening?"

Alex grinned. "Yeah."

Tom fidgeted. "Could you teach me to do it?"

Alex shrugged. "Sure. Any reason in particular?"

Tom shrugged. "I figured you'd be sad if Jack killed half your plants."

Alex smirked. "Don't be ridiculous, Tom. Jack would kill at least three-quarters if I got lucky."

Tom burst out laughing. They exited his room. Fenrir followed. Ian glanced at the two of them and Alex's dog. "Behave, you two."

Alex mentally rolled his eyes. Honestly, he had only burned one house down in two years. It was a record, you know. Ian drove them this time. Alex was genuinely shocked the man had gotten home on time. What? Joe was in town. Alex wasn't sure if he bought the man's excuse for being in London or not. They were in the car when Alex brought it up. "You know, Joe was in town and stopped by for a visit today."

Ian's hands tightened on the steering wheel. "Yes, Alan told me today."

Ian didn't like it, but Joe had gone over his head. Got it. Ian was telling the truth. Blunt had told him. Ian raised an eyebrow when he saw Alex's look. "What?"

Alex shrugged. "You're telling the truth."

Ian gave him a dry look before going back to the road. "Yes, I am. Try not to sound too surprised. It's vaguely insulting."

Alex was about to retort, but they were at the house. "Alright, this is your stop, you two."

Alex got out before Ian could change his mind. Tom looked at him after Ian drove off as they rang the doorbell. "Ditch cars often?"

Alex snorted. "Not really. Never hurts to be able to leave mid-lecture, you know."

Tom gave him an innocent look. "Yeah, but you can just leave the country."

Alex swatted him. "I thought you hated it when I run away from home.

It was truly unfortunate that Mandy chose that particular moment to yank open the door. "When did you run away from home? It didn't make the news."

Alex sighed. "It was only three times. Don't worry about it."

Mandy just stared at him. "Where did you go? What did you do?"

Alex gave her a charming smile. "As I said, don't worry about it."

Alex felt a faint hint of unease. Mandy swept them into the room they normally met. "Tonight, we are going out to eat. Try not to act completely uncivilized."

Alex wondered which sociopathic nutjob he'd run into this time. The world definitely had it out for him.

Alex changed into a suit Mandy had gotten him. Apparently, she didn't trust him or Ian to pick his clothes out. It was actually a good fit, but he still felt uncomfortable in suits. They reminded him of uncomfortable things. Why did they think taking eight kids to a fancy restaurant was a good idea? Alex sighed and just got in the car. Mandy patted him on the head. "There, there. The food will be good, I promise."

Alex rolled his eyes. It wasn't the food he was worried about. Mandy had a pretty good taste for being the social-reject goth-girl persona. Then again, Alex was pretty sure she partly did it to mess with people. Alex adjusted his cufflinks. They were a little noticeable for his tastes. Mandy grinned. Alex rolled his eyes. "I'm not worried about the food. I just have a bad feeling about this."

Karen glanced at him. "It will be fine, Alex. Adrian can even legally drive us around now."

Alex gave her a half-hearted grin. "Meh, I'm probably just paranoid anyway."

Tom ruffled his hair. "Yeah, must have been one of those solo trips you took."

Alex swatted Tom on the elbow. Adrian hit the brakes a little too hard. Luckily they were in their parking spot. "Solo trips?! You're twelve."

Alex shrugged. "I was fine. Everything went fine. Nothing bad happened. Fine."

Adrian twisted the key out the lock a little faster than usual. Alex was afraid Adrian was going to break the doors they came across. "We'll talk after dinner."

Alex got out of the car. He'd really underestimated how nice the place would be. He'd eaten out at these sorts of places about five times max. Alex honestly preferred street food and places that didn't require a reservation. They walked into the swanky restaurant. The hostess eyed them oddly but didn't make any remark or do anything unsubtle. The staff here was trained, of course. To the highest levels of professionalism and discretion. It wouldn't do for any gossip to come out, of course. It was a nice candlelit place with a live band. Alex honestly hoped they wouldn't get booted.

They were seated off to the side. Alex noticed Joe and Chase at the opposite end of the room but forced his eyes not to linger. He should have known. Great. It was just what he wanted. Thankfully Amada was her usual opinionated self. "I take issue with the US intervention…"

Alex really appreciated having something to concentrate on. Adrian retorted. "I think they've got the right idea. Stomp it out before it floods out into the civilized world."

Alex interjected. "Hey, Africa has a few good spots. Not to mention, judgmental much? They have their own unique…"

Tom was shaking his head. "I don't understand how you people find this interesting."

Alex had ordered for him and James in perfect French. Alex grinned. "Oh, but just think of the adults we can troll."

Tom looked at him for a minute. "Not all of us can write political satire about Spain in Spanish, you know."

Alex huffed. "I'll have you know, my series is widely appreciated in the more anti-establishment communities."

It was. Alex had been more than slightly amused to find out his storyline on 'vampires' in Mexico was popular in certain arenas. Tom rolled his eyes. "Maybe if you wrote me a translation, I'd get it."

Alex sighed. "It would lose a lot of jokes and culture. Just read my next one. It's going to be a Russian-style ballet about the intertwinement of relations between criminal organizations and intelligence agencies."

Mandy's eyes glinted. "Oooh. I want."

Alex rolled his eyes. "Not that any company in Russia would ever take that on. Too much politics, you see."

It was then a large party entered the restaurant. And immediately began to throw a fit over being able to sit on the same side of the restaurant. That would mean – oh, shit. The waiter looked apologetically at Joe and Chase. Who just seemed to sort of shrug. Shit. Shit. The waiter then seated them right next to the table. Why? Was his luck just this bad? Mandy huffed. "I dunno, your sponsor is decently well-connected. Maybe you could pull some strings for a private showing, especially if you make it more anti-capitalist and anti-west."

Alex rolled his eyes. "Back-up sponsor, Mands. I was chosen as an alternate, remember?"

There were appearances to be maintained. Even though Alex was ninety percent sure he was going to be on that trip. "Well-"

Mandy looked faintly guilty for a second. Alex raised an eyebrow. "Mandy?"

Mandy coughed slightly. "I may have, ummm, fixed the odds for you."

Alex groaned. "Amanda, you could have been arrest-"

Mandy placed her hand over his mouth. Joe and Chase were both obviously eavesdropping.

Alex just gave Joe a look. Chase simply walked up to their table with his plate a plopped down. "Soo. Arrest. Sounds fun."

Alex backtracked. "I may have been exaggerating a touch."

Yeah, with her family lawyers she'd get probation at most. "Oh, no. I wholeheartedly approve."

Uh, oh. Joe walked up sat next to Chase and rammed an elbow into the man's kidney. "That was completely uncalled for, Joe. I wasn't even corrupting the youth that hard yet."

Alex was desperately trying to control his laughter as Joe took the bicker-bait. "Chase, if you give any more people any ideas, I will ram this butter knife somewhere painful."

Chase grinned. "Good luck, silver is too soft to stab people with."

Joe shrugged. "Sure, but it'll leave a niiice painful welt for you to contend with."

Chase rolled his eyes and seemed wholly unconcerned. "Sooo. What are we plotting?"

Joe gave Chase a scandalized look. "What? I'm bored. Maybe the piwi-squad has something interesting. Plus, you know, sabotage is one of my specialties."

Joe groaned softly. "I must have done something in the past life and I hope I enjoyed every fucking second of it."

Chase turned his attention back on them. "What are you guys trying to sabotage the competition for anyway? UIL Math?"

Alex rolled his eyes. "Hey! We're not that dorky. It's a Russian transfer program."

Chase had a look of unmitigated glee. Alex got the faint inkling that asking SCORPIA bosses for help with open-ended sabotage stuff was like calling an ambulance for a wilted potted plant. "Oh, good. Now I'm not bored."

Joe was massaging his temples. "Why are you doing this, Chase?"

Chase was looking outright manic. Alex was genuinely afraid for his sanity. "I have a vested interest in the next generation, Joe. A little arson here and little physical assault there and poof you get some recruits."

Joe just looked at him and made a sound that sounded vaguely like a squished squirrel. Chase turned back to him. "So what did you guys have planned?"

Mandy had grinned savagely and told him. Alex had been doing his best not to pound his head against the table. Chase had been surprisingly helpful. Alex wasn't sure whether to be amused or alarmed that the man was feeling 'nice' that day. Joe seemed to have given up and was now eyeing the bar with a certain kind of voracious hunger. Alex decided to get up and slip him a note.

-J

Does dear ol' Chase need to have a heart attack?

-A

Alex had then gone to the restroom just before the dessert course. He didn't see Joe's reaction if he'd gotten the note. Alex was sure he had since he'd been deliberately clumsy in placing it in the man's pocket. Alex went back to the table just as the dessert arrived. It was delicious strawberry cake. Alex felt something in his pocket halfway through.

-A

DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT.

-J

Alex had held back his laughter at the note, but it was a slim thing. Hey, he was just checking. For all he knew, Joe was being kidnapped or something. Alex sat back after he finished his meal. It was one of those things where you relied on the chef for portion control and he actually felt pretty good. Mandy was still talking with Chase. Chase's eyes flick to him. "You're awfully quiet."

Must not be rude to SCORPIA person. Must not be rude to SCORPIA person. It was hard because he was used to telling Nile to fuck right off. "You're awfully accepting of our dastardly deviant plot."

It was only a half-snark? Joe kicked him under the table. Joe was no fun. Chase turned an unnerving pair of gleeful brown eyes on him. "Nice alliteration, Dr. Seuss."

Alex vaguely wondered if this was how Jack felt when picking him up during or post prank. Probably more amused and less terrified. "I'm shocked you remember that much of English class. How's the literature analysis in work-land?"

Chase rolled his eyes. "Just because I'm Australian doesn't mean I'm an uncultured fu-I mean, person. Wow, xenophobic much?"

Alex was tempted to stick out his tongue, he really was. He hadn't quite meant to stick a reference to Australia's time as a penal colony in there, but trust the Australian to read too much into his sentence. Alex decided he did not give two shits. His shins were probably going to suffer. "Aw, you know us, British people. If it isn't the French, it's those darn Aussies."

Joe choked on his water and Chase laughed. Chase regained control of himself in seconds. "Sooo. I should pretend to be responsible for about fifteen seconds. How's school?"

Alex shrugged. "You'd have to ask them. I'm homeschool."

Chase managed to sound interested at least. Actor points for him. "Really? Couldn't tell."

Alex rolled his eyes. "Not all of us are socially awkward dorky twerps, you know."

Chase didn't roll his eyes, but Alex did wonder if he was tempted. "Sure. Anyway, so what do you kids do for fun? B&E? Hacking conventions? Kid-"

Chase was cut off by Joe's elbow in his kidney. "Ow."

Joe rolled his eyes. "You deserve it. You might cause these kids irreparable psychological harm."

Chase grins. "Bullshit. Besides, they're already protesting the government so they probably won't turn out too bad."

Joe shook his head. "Chase, you and I are going to have a long, long talk about not corrupting the youth after this."

Chase pouted. "But Joe-"

Joe cut him off with a steely glare. "Only one man could finish that sentence around me and you aren't him."

Chase looked defensive. "I keep telling you we didn't do it. We wanted him alive."

Joe glared at him. "The worst part is, I almost believe you sometimes."

They looked at each other before completely switching topics. "So, how's that weather?"

Alex had a feeling this was going to be the longest dessert course he'd ever sat through.

After they finally got out of there, Alex was exhausted. He was pretty sure Chase liked the sound of his own voice quite a bit. Or he really was that bored. Alex had trouble imagining running SCORPIA being boring, but he couldn't exactly judge. Then again, Nile seemed to have enough free time to be able to stalk him semi-regularly. Alex could feel the headache beginning to come on. "So, you ran away from home."

Alex glared at his friend. Adrian was not what you'd call subtle. "Running away is a strong word. Taking an unexpected and solo vacation with my dog is more how I'd class it, really."

Mandy sighed. Adrian's grip tightened on the steering wheel. "We are going back to Mandy's house and then we are going to talk about this. In excruciating detail."

Alex shrugged. They could talk all they wanted. He wasn't sorry. Taking that nice vacation in the Alps was worth it. So was saving Aunt Crazy, even if she was crazy. Switzerland wasn't that far away, you know. It was only a train ride for a few hours. He really felt like people were definitely overreacting to this. I mean, sure, he was ten. Alex had been able to pretty much look after himself at his original five-year-old point. Jack was nice to have. He would miss her and be extremely lonely without here, but he would have lived. The car ride was both the longest and the shortest he'd ever been on. Mandy started first. "So, you ran away three times."

Alex protested. "It was really more like two."

Mandy rolled her eyes. "Alright, Tom, let's hear your side of the story."

Tom took a deep breath. "So, Ian and him were arguing one day. I figured it out 'cause Alex gets pretty grumpy when that happens. And then, one day, we hear he just up and left for the German Alps. I mean he barely left a note. There was the time he went to Switzerland without a note. Then, there was the time he went to Japan to see his Aunt in the hospital without permission and didn't return any calls."

Alex shrugged. "They were all for valid reasons."

Tom rolled his eyes. The Nile wasn't only a river in Africa. "Riiiiight. So, why did you go on your unexpected extreme snow survival trip?"

Alex grinned. "I was tired of dealing with people. Snowy mountains don't have very many humans. Problem solved."

Mandy let out a long sigh. "Alright. The trip to Switzerland?"

Alex huffed. "I honestly forgot to leave a note, really guys."

Mandy was rolling her eyes into her head so far they might pop out. "And the time you visited your poor, sick aunt?"

Alex shrugged. "Just because Ian doesn't like her doesn't mean I have to follow suit and shun her. What if she died? She deserves more than to die alone and shunned. I conned a family friend into thinking I had permission and had him take me to Tokyo. He left after he figured out he was legally liable for kidnapping. I was only really without adult supervision for like, three hours. It was fine. I didn't die. I didn't get hit by a car. I wasn't kidnapped by sex traffickers. Really, people? Get a grip. I don't understand what the big deal is."

Adrian was struggling to maintain a semi-calm facade. He really didn't see it, did he? Even he wasn't that self-reliant. He was nineteen. Adrian cursed Ian Rider to a horrid fiery death in his mind. Adrian was well-aware lashing out at the man would close Alex off emotionally from them. Mandy was trying to convince Alex to see what was really going on. Adrian was almost certain he wouldn't get the point. He sat back and watched. Somedays, he was afraid for the others. This was one of them.

Joe immediately got on his case the minute the kids left the restaurant. "You cannot do that."

Chase widened his brown eyes in a look he had used to his full advantage in both careers. "Do what?"

Joe glared at him. "Give kids advice in their illegal endeavors."

Chase smirked. "And why not?"

Joe was starting to get mad. Chase would admit that some level of sadism was coming into play here. "It's not decent."

Chase grinned. "Well, Joe, I think I am long past the point where I have to listen to anyone telling me what to do. Long, long past. I don't have to abide by agency standards. I don't have to play by your rules, except when you hire us. You, in short, have no right to tell me when and where to go and what to do. I no longer play by anyone's subjective morality. And I, certainly, decide who and what is worth my time. And If I decide that I'm going to mentor twelve-year-olds on graffiti formulas, then I can damn well do it."

Joe was just staring at him. Maybe he had gone a bit too far. Chase had been way past done with people's shit when he'd gone into business for himself. He had earned the right to give Joe Byrne and his ilk a polite fuck you. Plus, it was always good to remind people that they weren't the boss of you. Chase enjoyed being his own boss, thank you very much. "I would think you had better things to do than that. If you're bored, I can think of a few things worth your time."

Chase shrugged. "That may be, Joe, but I can turn you down. Besides, I hadn't even gotten to the interesting petty crime hobbies before I was ever-so-rudely interrupted."

Joe snorted. "I thought you were way above small crime."

Chase let out a laugh so loud it drew the attention of some of the other patrons across the room. "Joe, we are a business. No job too large or too small. Besides, twenty bucks the government has to shell out is twenty bucks the government has to shell out."

Joe sighed and felt for his wallet for his half of the check. "Did you fucking pickpocket me?"

Chase shrugged. "Maybe. Don't worry, I'll give it back to you after I pay the bill."

Joe just glared at him across the room. Joe was not going to risk punching Chase in his way-too-perfect-teeth. "You're a piece of shit, Chase."

Chase barely held back his unmitigated glee. "I believe that is a given under the whole murdering terrorist label, Joe. Are you sure you made your position on merit?"

Chase knew Joe was about to snap and break his nose, again, and hastily signed the check, dumped the wallet, and ditched the dining establishment. He heard Joe mutter under his breath. "I don't know why I didn't just shoot that little fucking shit when I had the chance," as his front hit the doors.

It was a good day. Poor, poor Joe. He'd have to cancel those credit cards just in case. The paperwork would be a nightmare.