A/N: Just wanna take a moment to recognize that this is my 100th published fic over on Archive Of Our Own :) I promise someday I'll finish reposting all of them here, haha, but, in the meantime, if you wanna read more from me, that's where you'll find it.
This was inspired by a tweet by Uma ( darveywtf): "Harvey and Donna's first time after growing apart emotionally (and thus physically) for a few months". Hope you like it :)
She can hear his keys jingling as Harvey unlocks the door. He walks across the hall and enters their living room, untying his tie.
"Hey," she calls out from the couch, her back to him.
"Hey. You ready to go?" he asks, making his way towards the couch. He stops and frowns down at her just as she starts replying.
"Actually, I don't really feel like going out tonight, I figured we could just stay in and watch those Survivor reruns," she tells him, throwing a quick smile his way before turning back to her book on her lap.
"But I made us a reservation," he counters, his tone instantly unexpectedly defensive, drawing her attention.
"I can just call them and cancel," she replies, not seeing what the problem is.
"We said we'd go there tonight," he insists hotly, his tone starting to grate on her.
"Harvey, what's the big deal, you didn't even want to go to that restaurant, you said it looked pretentious and boujee," she frowns at him, definitely thinking he's overreacting to her blowing off a random-Tuesday date when he's usually the first to jump at an opportunity to stay home.
"The big deal is you wanted to go there, which is why I made that reservation in the first place!" he flaps his arms, and she can see there's something else going on here but she's in no mood to patiently fish it out from inside of him.
"Oh, wow, good to know you care so much about what I want to do," she scoffs, aware that this escalates the situation a little but she's had enough of his self-pitying attitude.
"What's that supposed to mean?" he narrows his eyes at her.
"Nothing, just that I had to practically beg you to come with me to the last few restaurants we tried. Not to mention the fact that you were the one who cancelled our last two dates," she crosses her arms, annoyed.
"That was work, this isn't!"
"Well, if I remember correctly, you were also the one who said we needed to make sure that work didn't intrude on our lives. And yet, between the firm and the expansion project you got going on with Mike, work's been doing a lot of intruding," she argues indignantly, annoyed by his victimization.
"You're one to talk when you've been getting home late every Monday and Wednesday for two months now," he practically spits out and her jaw almost drops at the affront.
"I can't believe you're saying that to me. I explicitly asked you if you were okay with that before I joined the theater company," she points an accusing finger at him.
"Yeah, well, that was before I knew it would take up almost all our quality time together," he huffs childishly.
"Quality time?" she laughs incredulously, "What quality time, Harvey? All we do on those days is sit on the couch and watch TV."
"Which is why I wanted to do something different for us, but tonight of all nights you wanna stay in," he crosses his arms pettily.
Donna rolls her eyes. "Jesus, Harvey, if it's that important to you, I'll go get changed and we can still make our reservation," she exhales and gets off the couch, shaking her head as she makes her way to their bedroom.
"Don't bother, I don't even wanna go anymore," he snarks and she spins around instantly.
"Alright, that's enough!" she fists her hands at her sides, taking a calming breath. "We're gonna take five minutes, and then we're gonna come back and talk about what the hell is actually happening here."
Harvey glares at her, impassive, and they just stare at each other for a moment, daring the other to fold first. Eventually Harvey huffs his defeat, giving her wide berth to get out of his way as he moves towards the bedroom to cool off. She seizes the opportunity as well, getting a glass of water for herself and working on getting herself together.
She has no idea what's gotten into Harvey. Maybe she shouldn't have blown off their date, fine, but his reaction is completely absurd and disproportionate, especially for plans he has never in his life shown any interest in. And if he's upset about the time she's been spending at the theater company, he doesn't have a leg to stand on because he's been just as busy with work. She can apologize for cancelling their date tonight, but she refuses to be made to seem like she's to blame for them not spending more time together or not going out often or whatever it is Harvey's being so pissy about.
When their five minutes are up, they rejoin on the couch, Harvey now wearing sweats and a pout, Donna clinging to her water glass in annoyance.
"Okay, what is this about? Because it sure as hell isn't about dinner at Noux," she asks him directly, making it clear she won't stand for his bullshit anymore. If he has a problem, he can state it clearly like a freaking adult.
To her surprise, he does, kind of. He works his jaw, clearly struggling to voice his feelings, but eventually the words come. "I think… I think we've been drifting apart."
The words come as a shock to her. "Drifting apart?" she asks, confused. They may have fallen into a bit of a rut, but her heart still skips a beat whenever he's around her, his arms are still her favorite place to be, she feels exactly the same way about him as she always has, and she was under the impression that it was the same for him.
"Yeah. We've been seeing each other less, we've been a lot lazier on the weekends, we haven't been going out as much, even the sex is not as it used to be…," he explains, a certain whine to his tone.
There's a lot to unpack about his words but the last part bruises her pride a little bit, drawing her attention and making her a bit defensive. "I would say the sex is still pretty good," she pouts a little, never having heard any complaint in that arena from any of her boyfriends.
Harvey looks at her for the first time and at least he looks earnest. "Well, it's not bad, but can you remember the last time we really went at it? Nowadays it feels like we do it to check a box."
She knows he's not trying to attack her, so she forces herself to get past the initial instinct to defend herself and really thinks about what he's saying.
It's true that they haven't been going on a lot of dates lately, between their jobs and his expansion project and her theater company they've been seeing each other less, and when they do see each other they're usually pretty tired and the idea of lounging on the couch seems too appealing.
She tries to think back on recent weekends. Last week they had Rachel's birthday, the one before that was pretty low profile besides a trip to the supermarket, the previous one they had coffee after going to a furniture store to look for a new set of bedside tables…
Well, okay, not very exciting. But that doesn't mean they didn't spend quality time together, right? She thinks about the nights and afternoons spent on the couch watching TV or reading, which were all nice enough but she can't even remember a meaningful conversation between them during those moments.
And the sex, well… She doesn't think sex with Harvey will ever not be good, but there's been a lot more shower quickies and one-off rounds, it's been a while since they last spent a whole night losing themselves in each other. And the last time they even did anything was, what, four days ago? Five? It's not that much but until fairly recently they wouldn't go one single day without doing something, so five days feels like a lot.
A sense of regret starts bubbling up inside of her, the feeling that they lost more time than they already have. She really does still feel the same way about him, but maybe he has a point about things being slower between them lately.
It's just that a lot has been happening outside of their relationship. Sheila's new pregnancy, Hailey's graduation, errands to run, normal-life things to worry about, their work, which they're invested in and excited about… Maybe their relationship was put on the back burner a bit, but that doesn't mean they're doomed. At least she hopes so.
She takes a breath. "Harvey, it's normal for couples to drift apart a little bit occasionally when they're focused on other things," she tries to reassure him, knowing he has less experience on the matter, "And we both have a lot going on right now, that's okay."
He looks down dejectedly. "I just… I don't wanna lose you."
Her heart breaks a little bit at the same time as affection surges inside of her. She cups his cheek gently, turning his face so he can look into her eyes as she tells him, "Harvey, you're not gonna lose me. I love you, and I wanna spend the rest of my life with you."
She sees him exhale and nod a little, but he still looks anguished, and as much as it disconcerts her to admit, he has a point, one she definitely doesn't want to invalidate, because if her years of heartbreak before him taught her anything, it's that love alone isn't enough. A relationship needs effort to work and the both know it.
"But you're right," she continues, "I guess we both need to get better at prioritizing our relationship. Maybe we can think of ways to do that together?"
He swallows. "Yeah, I think that'd be good."
"Okay," she says softly, smiling.
Harvey bites the inside of his cheek, "I'm sorry I snapped at you. I guess I'm just scared I'm gonna mess this up, and I panicked and lashed out."
It's nothing she hasn't seen him do before, but his newfound level of self-awareness is very welcome.
"You're not messing this up any more than I am," she reassures him, taking his hand. "I guess I wasn't initially worried because it's healthy for couples to have interests and commitments outside of each other. But not if that comes at the expense of our bond."
"Yeah... Maybe we can go back to scheduling one proper date a week like we used to in the beginning? Since it hasn't been happening as often naturally anymore," he suggests, tipping his head.
"That's a good idea," she presses her lips together. "I can also start a list of things for us to do on weekends so that we're less tempted to waste the entire day on the couch?"
"Yeah, and I can start thinking of ways to convince you to forget about the list so we can spend the whole day in bed instead," Harvey smirks, suggestively teasing his nails down her forearm.
Donna grins, "Sounds good." Her heart settles at their familiar banter and, from the lighter expression on his face, it looks like his does too.
"I love you too," he says quietly after a moment, and she leans in, capturing his lips softly, drawing comfort from his proximity and his heat.
They kiss again and she shifts, straddling him so that she can kiss him more comfortably. They take their time, reacquainting themselves with each other until Harvey's hands eventually start to wander, caressing her thighs, then going higher up to cup her ass.
Donna sighs into his mouth, resting some more of her weight on his lap. He wraps an arm around her lower back, securing her against him, and it sends a shiver down her spine. Sensing the building urgency is his touch, the way his breathing is becoming labored and he's pressing into her makes it more evident that he was right, that even if they have always wanted each other this fire had been absent from their more recent interactions, and she knows it's normal for that to happen sometimes but she vows to herself not to let that repeat itself, because the last thing she wants to do is take their relationship for granted.
She grinds into him and he exhales heavily, "Looks like we're getting a head start on that plan, huh?"
"Take me to bed and find out," she murmurs into him and he groans, instantly lifting them both up and carrying her into the bedroom. They don't waste any time, quickly undressing each other, sharing their heat. His body feels glorious on hers, warm and strong, and she shifts her hips, seeking him out. He teases her a little, catching her earlobe between his teeth as his fingers find her core and play with her clit, but soon enough she decides she doesn't want to wait anymore, she wants to feel him inside of her again and bask in all the sensations that brings.
She tells him as much and he kisses her deeply, aligning himself with her entrance and pushing slowly, their exhales mingling as he thrusts deeper, carefully, until he bottoms out. They've done this millions of times before, and the more recent ones really were good enough, but this time it's like a veil has been lifted, like they're seeing each other clearly and feeling each other fully for the first time in months. It's like his moves are more intense, like she's feeling them more acutely, like all her nerve endings are being overloaded with sensation. It's not their best time ever but it's definitely a lot, turning her body into live wire.
Their gazes lock as he moves, making everything more powerful, and she's drowning in him, in his hands on her, his strong back under her fingertips, the ripples taking over her body. It's so much all at once and she never wants to lose this again, can't believe she didn't notice it slipping away. She kisses him, savoring his taste, his touch, the feeling of his lips against her neck as he buries himself there and thrusts endlessly.
"God, I missed you," she pants almost unwittingly, screwing her eyes shut.
"I missed you too," Harvey murmurs and shifts, speeding up and hitting her front wall. She moans, falling further as he does it again and again.
"Yes, Harvey," she gasps, digging her nails into his shoulders, feeling the first sparks of an orgasm.
"I'm not gonna last," he grunts regretfully, but she doesn't mind.
"It's okay, I won't either."
He keeps at it, his fingers clumsily finding her center, and it only takes a moment before she's coming, her breath coming out in strangled cries as he spills inside of her. It wasn't their most inspired round but it was still incredible, proving once again how perfect they are for each other.
Harvey collapses on top of her, breathing heavily until he manages to catch his breath and meets her lips again for a kiss. "Not that I want us to drift apart again but I gotta say, reunion sex is amazing," he smirks lazily down at her.
"Reunion sex?" Donna snorts and quirks a brow at him.
"Well, we didn't really fight so this wasn't exactly make-up sex. Hence, reunion sex," he elaborates, climbing off her and laying down beside her, pulling her into him.
"Hm, I don't know, you seemed pretty angry earlier," she teases.
"I wasn't angry, I was... bothered," he pouts playfully, making her grin.
"Okay, well, glad that you're unbothered now," she leans up, giving him a kiss. As they recover with the implicit promise of more rounds to come, she takes a moment to silently thank the heavens that she will never be without him again.