Chapter 58: On to Paris

Ian had, of course, booked the morning flights at an hour no sane person wanted to be up, much less on an airplane. Alex's only consolation was that they got seats together and Tom was now snuggled up to him on one side and Fenrir was on the other. Ian had somehow gotten his dog through customs and Alex was not going to question it for once. Alex, of course, was not able to fall asleep on airplanes anymore. His hearing was weird now. Ian had told him that it would adjust eventually, but Alex's faith in Ian was at an all-time low. Alex almost rolled his eyes but decided to refrain. Crawley was looking very, very nervous and Alex did not want to get sedated by the man again. Ian, had, at least, somehow managed to find a way to get Alex a bag that allowed him to smuggle his weapons into Paris. Alex figured it might come in handy for after the trip. He'd already decided to leave home; it was just he wanted one last vacation with Tom first. He looked at his dog. Fenrir might be able to come with him, but Tom definitely could not go where he was planning to. Antonio had been sent a message that Alex was coming. Alex could only hope that Maddox would handle it securely. The computer was already digitizing his books and notes. Alex wasn't sure how a machine with no hands was managing to make photocopies, but he wasn't going to question it. Maddox had promised him the flash drive would find him once he got to South America. Alex let his eyes snap open. The stewardesses sounded so loud now. The squeaky cartwheels were not helping. "Tea, dear?"

Alex blinked. "Yes, please."

The woman poured the tea. Alex resisted the urge to rub his eyes. His leg muscles twitched. It was probably a bad idea to get on a plane while exceedingly sore. Ian had not let up at all. Alex took the tea. "Thank you."

One sip had him gagging. It tasted like they burnt the tea, used powdered creamer, and dropped in about three extra sugar cubes. No wonder Ian hated sugar and plane food so much. It took everything Alex had to choke the rest of it down. He immediately downed the water Ian had thoughtfully given him. Ian gave him an amused look. Alex glared. "How's the coffee?"

Ian gave him the evil eye. "Fine."

Alex had a sinking suspicion they had burned the coffee as badly as the tea. Crawley was looking between them. "What is going on with you two?"

Ian rolled his eyes. "Relax, Crawley, it'll all be fine."

Alex shrugged. "It's cool, I'll get over it eventually."

What was he supposed to tell them? He was in a depressed mood because of his past and present memories of Ian. Yeah, that'd go over well. Tom cracked a blue eye at him and squeezed his arm. Alex gave Tom a soft smile. Tom snuggled up to him.

They got to the hotel without incident. Alex was almost surprised the bank didn't have some dodgy shenanigans going on, but they had gone in a real taxi, so Alex figured this was an actual vacation. That or Jones was stepping up the game. Alex unpacked his and Tom's bags while his friend got more sleep. Alex noticed that his equilibrium was closer to six hours than the eight of normal people. He still envied Yassen and Ian's four hours a night. They were adults. Alex wondered if his sleep cycle would be that brief. He was ninety percent sure the lot of them were part bloody vampire. Hey, even Nile thought Yassen had been clinically insane. Alex decided to study until Tom started waking up for real this time. "Alex?"

Alex closed his book. "Yes, Tom."

Tom rolled out of bed. "Did you have anything planned?"

Alex put his textbook down. "Only dinner."

Tom's hair was rumpled to the point Alex had to choke back laughter. "What about lunch?"

Alex shrugged. "Room service."

Tom grinned. "I love you."

Alex shook his head. "I'm going to introduce you to real food, Tom. Good real food."

Tom stretched out. Alex could hear his spine popping. Tom blinked at him. "I look forward to it."

Fenrir had also woken. The yellow eyes of his pet seemed to be cast oddly in the lower light levels. "How are we going to feed him?"

Alex shrugged. "We'll find a butcher, I suppose."

Fenrir fluffed up immediately at the mention of going on walks. Alex was immediately treated to a soft, pleading look from a pair of wide yellow eyes. Fenrir certainly knew how to pull his heartstrings. A faint whine came out. Alex felt a stab of guilt for dragging his dog on an airplane. Tom was shaking with silent laughter. Alex threw a pillow at him. "Oh, shut it."

Tom threw the pillow right back at him. "I didn't say anything."

Alex glared. "You were thinking about it."

Fenrir was still watching them both with one ear cocked. "Oh, just take the poor fluff on a walk."

Fenrir gave a happy yip at the mention of the w-word. Alex blinked. He could just about kill Tom for that. Fenrir was almost shredding the carpet with his claws as the wolf all but vibrated with excitement. "Oh, alright. He grabbed the leash from his bag."

Fenrir walked over to him. Alex lightly slid the clasp into place. "Coming, Tom."

Tom shook his head. "Nah, I'm going to sleep more. Four a.m. flights should be illegal, man."

Alex wholeheartedly agreed with that sentiment. "Yeah, the early ones are always a bitch."

Tom stretched out in the hotel bed and let out a sigh of contentment. "Have fun being a responsible dog owner."

Alex grumbled something that resembled Wolf's string of swears at being woken up under his breath and walked out.

Alex lightly pet Fenrir when they got out of the hotel room. "So, fluff, do you think we can find a butcher?"

As luck would have it, the wolf led him right to one. Alex sighed and stepped into the shop. The man froze at the sight of his dog. Alex hastily opened in fluent French. "Relax, he's a pet."

The butcher immediately softened a touch. "How can I help you?"

Alex pet his "dog" and prayed the man wasn't the curious sort. "My dog eats only raw meat. Since we will be here for about two weeks, I will need around forty-five kilos of meat. Varied cuts are fine since organ meats are good for dogs. Try to get less fat in the cuts."

The butcher looked at the dog, looked at Alex, looked very amused for a few seconds, and then shrugged. "Alright, I can only get you about ten kilos today, but I should have the rest tomorrow."

Alex had figured as much. There were next to no butcher shops that saved the discarded meat. "That works."

The man went into the back room, probably to start getting the meat together and Fenrir sat next to a chair. Alex shrugged and sat down. It was a tactical disadvantage, but Alex didn't think he'd be attacked here of all places. Alex knew he'd made a mistake the second Nile popped into the same shop. "Fancy seeing you here."

Alex sighed. "Sod off, Nile."

Nile went to his table and sat down instead. "Is the butcher being nice to you? Do I need to threaten him?"

Alex, sensing the man's impending doom if he said nothing, sighed. "It's fine, Nile. Don't threaten him."

Nile was practically bouncing. Alex wondered who had died a horrible fiery death and whether he could outrun Nile. "Why are you here, anyway?"

Nile retorted. "Why are you?"

Alex gestured at his pet. "Fluff eats raw meat and raw meat only. You?"

Nile shrugged. "Official business."

Alex mentally rolled his eyes. Thankfully, the butcher managed to reappear. Alex opened the wrapping of the top package. Inside was a heart. Alex picked it up. It was still slimy from the blood. He tossed it to Fenrir. "You know, that heart has the wrong number of chambers for...what meat are we pretending this is again?"

Alex huffed. Nile wasn't a surgeon. "I don't think your medical knowledge counts."

Nile pouted. Alex made sure butcher-dude caught a glimpse of his firearm as he tossed another organ to Fenrir. Alex decided he'd finish feeding the fluff when he got home and wrapped the top package back up. He then picked up the brown-paper-wrapped meat. It was surprisingly easy to lift. Maybe Ian had the right idea about the freakishly long workouts. "How's the workout?"

Alex had almost forgotten Nile was there. He forced himself to not swear. "Go. Away."

Nile raised an eyebrow. "Yassen's giving you lessons in manners then. He should stop."

Alex sighed. Alex double-checked the bag and saw a few dog bones in there. "Sucker for dogs?"

The butcher just shrugged. "Enough to know that real bones are bad for them."

Alex inwardly smirked. Another sucker for dogs, then. "Good day."

The man waved goodbye.

The butcher looked at Nile. "And what do you want?"

Nile had known the man spoke English. "The usual of course."

Nile would be dropping off corpses for disposal. It wasn't normally his job, but the people in logistics had gotten extra grumpy when he forgot to date his last report and were stubbornly refusing to deal with him out of pure spite. It probably didn't help that he'd burned down another bar. What? Arson and murder were fun. "The kid?"

Nile all but hissed. "Touch him and you die."

The man shrugged. "I wouldn't have anyway. He's packing and that dog just snarfed a human heart without flinching."

Nile sighed. "I knew it."

The butcher smirked. "Ah, looking at the next generation already?"

Nile shrugged. "You never know. Besides, I like the kid."

The butcher refrained from snorting, but it was a close call. "I think you would be hard-pressed to find anyone who didn't."

Nile didn't comment but suspected the man was right. Hell, Yassen liked Alex and Yassen didn't like anybody. Yassen had also threatened him with bodily harm if he approached Alex again, but Nile figured the kid had responded to him, so it didn't count. If Alex didn't want to talk, he shouldn't have even acknowledged his existence. That was how things went. "I'll see you tonight, then."

Nile nodded. "Yes, of course."

The man rubbed his hands together. "It will be a long night."

Nile left the shop. The butcher cleaned his counter after Nile left. The blond kid and his oversized chien were really cute. He could appreciate a large fluffy guard dog. His old bosses had been particularly fond of them. Albeit, they had owned German Shepards. The knives glistened on the walls. He kept them sharp enough to slice through flesh quite easily. The kitchen had never had any accidents. He had once been part of the mob and then retired once he got a bad back and knees. All the standing was not good for joints. People had asked him to deal with their corpses and then it had all kind of exploded, earning him the nickname that matched his daytime livelihood. Ah, well. It could be worse. Besides, he was fairly certain the meat was not going to waste for once.

Nile rubbed his face. Stalking Blondie was more tempting than it should be. He was, unfortunately, on the job. Still, this was almost too good to pass up. Plus, he had to start planning for Blondie's eventual kidnapping. Yassen had given him the shitty end of the stick and they both knew it. Sure, he had a combat team, but Yassen could order one online. It wasn't like there was a shortage of mercenaries who worked for SCORPIA. "Boss?"

Ah, one of his team. "I need a few hours alone."

He had already decided to break into Blondie's room. "Are you sure?"

Nile was a valuable target. It had never really struck him until now. "Yes. I'll be back in five hours."

He got up. "Why?"

Nile looked at the man. "It's a bit more delicate than the team could handle."

If Blondie could spot him, then Blondie could spot his combat team and panic. He had no doubt Yassen would be summoned and he was not ready for that fight. It would be better if Yassen was just a few years older. Out of his prime. Nile was ninety percent sure he would not currently win that fight. Yassen was a monster. Like, actually. One of the things that had made him so infamous at SCORPIA was the time he had murdered a crime boss and their entire security team in under five minutes. Of course, from what clues Nile was able to pick up Blondie wasn't any less dangerous. There had been that oh, so mysterious attack on the MI6 base by "Alec Pierre". Nile wasn't sure how his boss had bought that, but he wanted Alex for himself so he kept quiet about "Pierre's" real identity. Nile had also gotten some awesome stories from SCORPIA's investigation of the events. The budget people were uber-paranoid and had even had swabs stolen from labs to confirm the explosive residue matched the claims. It also helped to get a feel for the person's particular explosive mixtures and designs. Chase was going apeshit trying to match Pierre to known French explosives experts. Nile thought his boss was occasionally a dumbass. If you were trying to ditch SCORPIA, using your real name or nationality was a bad plan. At any rate, he was currently waiting in Blondie's hotel room for Blondie to return. He hated waiting. Especially in the dark without his phone. Nile was holding his breath in anticipation every time he heard footfalls. He checked his blue light watch. It was designed for minimal glow in the dark. Ten o'clock. What did Blondie do? Eat an eight-course meal and go to the fucking opera? Who took five hours for dinner?! Suddenly, the door opened and Nile froze. Next to Blondie was a brunette boy with blue eyes. "Who the hell are you?!"

Alex had drawn his weapon and shut the door. "Nile? What. The. Fuck?!"

Alex had decided they would have a nice dinner that night. Tom was glad, even if he did have to wear a stinking suit. God, he hated them. But the food had been so worth it. Tom had the best food of his, admittedly short, life. Tom enjoyed eating with just Alex. It had highlighted just how awkward eating with Ian was. Tom had tried not to seem awkward and to include Ian in their conversations, but Ian wasn't exactly into anything that didn't involve Alex. The double standards irked him a bit, but Tom was more concerned about Ian's expectations about Alex's school stuff. Tom had poked around a bit and asked a librarian to confirm his suspicions. Alex at the ripe old age of twelve was expected to perform at a post-graduate level academically. Those were the librarian's words, not his. Tom figured it translated roughly to "way too advanced and way too much pressure for twelve." Tom sighed and remembered opening Alex's math textbook and not understanding very many words of it. Alex had immediately caught his expression. "What's wrong Tom?"

Tom frowned. "What kind of math are you doing?"

Alex gave him a smirk that made his pulse stutter. "Just a bit of calculus for engineering and ordinary differential equations, why?"

Tom sighed. "I was just asking."

Alex huffed a bit. "Try reading my textbooks?"

Tom gave him an innocent look. "Maybe a little bit."

Alex laughed. "If you want to, I'll rewrite them to be ADHD friendly like I do with your textbooks for school. They should do it for more textbooks."

They had finally gotten back to their hotel room. Tom still had a somewhat childish love of tagging in with his hotel badge, so Alex let him go first. Or at least, Tom was ninety percent sure that was what was happening. Alex was faster than him. Then, he had turned on the light and saw a black dude with swords in their hotel room. "Who the hell are you?!"

Alex stepped in and shoved him to the side. "Nile? What. The. Fuck?!"

Tom stared at the large muscled man in their room. Well, this was interesting. Nile fidgeted. "So, um, are you planning to go back to school?"

Nile needed to learn the best time to kidnap Alex. "Fuck off, Nile."

The boy, Tom, interrupted him. "Why does this guy seem more into your education than Ian?"

Alex huffed. "Shut up, Tom."

Nile was hoping Alex would be in a more talkative mood. "You should listen to your friend."

Well, it would make it easier to learn his schedule for the rest of the year. "I'm homeschooled. With MI6 agents."

Nile mentally groaned. He needed options, damn it. This wasn't helping. Tom interjected. "The house is worse than Fort Knox."

Nile figured that ruled the house out, then, especially with Ian "I returned SCORPIA agents chopped to pieces and stuffed into a coffin" Rider there. The man was widely considered a holy terror. "Be quiet, Tom."

Tom shrugged and glanced at the door. "I feel like this guy would be a better guardian than Ian."

Alex raised an eyebrow at Tom. "He's an assassin who works for a terrorist organization."

Tom pouted. "Darn."

Nile decided to move this conversation along. "Are you planning on traveling without Ian anytime in the next ten years?"

Tom piped up. "He's going on that exchange program thing in Russia next year."

Alex groaned. "Tooom."

Tom rolled his eyes. "It made the news, Alex."

Alex gave his friend a warning look. "I'm an alternate."

Everyone seemed to forget that fact. Well, not forget, but supposed he would be on the plane. "I think between Mandy and that super-sketch Brendan Chase dude plotting, you'll be on that plane."

Nile choked. Oh, Alex would be on that plane, alright. It might even be an improvement over Blondie's current home life. There were more important things to focus on at the moment. "You met Mr. Chase?"

Alex shrugged. "Oh, yeah, he barged in on our dinner."

Nile resisted the urge to wheeze. Oh, God. They didn't know. Alex continued. "Joe Byrne was also there. Fun times."

Nile felt his inner gossip queen come to life. He needed to know what happened. These two were killing him. Tom Harris almost made him pass out. "Oh, yeah, he's great. Did you know he used to graffiti buildings in his teens?"

Nile resisted the urge to laugh. He needed to be able to look his boss in the eyes and not burst into fits of laughter. Screw planning a kidnapping. He could do that later. Nile needed this story now. Alex rolled his eyes. "Oh, yeah. He told us all of his petty crime stories."

Nile would pay a great deal of money to hear them. Was this why Yassen wanted Alex? His magical ability to wheedle information out of people? This was why he stalked Alex. He had the best gossip. Nile didn't care how or why he got it, but it was relevant to his interests. Nile leaned back. "So, care to share?"

Tom Harris lit up like a fully demonic sprite. "How much time do you have?"

Nile had decided to text Yassen at the phone number he'd shamelessly ripped from Yassen file. What? SCORPIA was technically one of his clients. Besides, this was important.

-Y

Yassen, can you just fork over Alex? I need him in my life.

-N

Yassen glared at his phone. What on Earth was Nile going on about now? They had an agreement in place. In any case, he had an answer for the man.

-N

Hell no! What are you going on about now?

-Y

Nile huffed. Yassen was evil. Besides, that deal was before he'd gotten to know Blondie a little better.

-Y

But you already had an apprentice! It's my turn.

-N

Yassen raised an eyebrow at his phone. Was Nile three years old? There was no such thing as turns in their world. Might made right.

-N

She's with Dr. Three now. And you are lucky that I didn't tell you to fuck off and find your own.

-Y

Nile huffed at the text. It wasn't his fault Three had sticky, sticky fingers. Yassen should have kept her away from SCORPIA.

-Y

He gave me all the gossip on Mr. Chase.

-N

Yassen arched a brow at that. Alex had given him most of the board on a platter, but he wasn't about to play all his cards for Nile.

-N

And Alex gave me Winston Yu's life story. Don't think it means anything.

-Y

Nile huffed. Darn. He was looking for a sign Alex liked him better. He was convinced it was the case. His gifts were better than Yassen's gifts.

-Y

I need someone in my life.

-N

Yassen was thoroughly unmoved by Nile's pleas. Nile would just have to learn to cope like everybody else.

-N

You'll just have to cope, then, now won't you?

-Y

Nile gave his phone the evil eye. Yassen was depriving him. He wasn't used to sharing anymore and he remembered how much he hated it.

-Y

You're a dick.

-N

Yassen nearly cracked a smile at the message. Oh, the feeling was mutual, at least. Then again, unlike Nile, he was acting professionally.

After Nile left, Alex immediately checked Tom over for darts of any kind. He wouldn't put it past the man, after all, Alex had seen him use blow darts, once upon a time. After that was done, he let out a sigh and sat down. "So, where'd you meet him?"

Tom was awfully cheerful. "Australian outback."

Tom was bouncing. "I like him."

Alex rolled his eyes. Nile could be charming when he wanted to be. Alex was just sure it was manipulation. Then again, once upon a time he and Nile had gotten along okay. In the past life. And then Alex had set him on fire and cut the rope on him. "Of course, you do. It's his job to be charming, right up until he stabs you or shoots you or runs you through with his shiny, shiny swords."

Tom flopped onto the bed. "Oh, c'mon Alex. I'm sure he's nice once you get to know him."

Alex rolled his eyes. "Murdering terrorists. Besides, like Ian, his job would always come first."

Tom gave Alex the squinty eye. "See you've considered it. Besides, I bet a company that pays him enough for that watch would bend over backward for childcare stuff more than MI6. Seriously, that watch costs more than my parents' house that you burned down."

Alex raised an eyebrow. "Allegedly burned down. Since when do you know or care about that stuff?"

Tom glared at Alex. "I'm not stupid. Besides, someone has to look after you. And Ian is dragging you to dodgy family reunions in third-world shite-holes where you get stabbed and shot at."

Alex sighed loudly. "No."

Tom groaned. "At least consider getting a new guardian, Alex."

Alex gave Tom the side-eye. "No. And don't sleep in your suit. It will wrinkle."

Tom got up. "But you admit Ian is a terrible parent."

Alex began undressing. "Yes. That doesn't mean I want a new one."

Tom occasionally felt like screaming. It wouldn't do any good right now, though. "Aleeex."

Alex lightly pulled him off the bed. He pulled too hard and Tom found himself colliding with his friend. Tom instinctively grabbed Alex to avoid falling over. "Oof. Sorry, mate."

Tom huffed. "Sheesh Alex lay off the 'roids."

Alex playfully smacked him and whipped off his shirt. "I'm not disproportionate, am I?"

Tom snorted and rolled his eyes. "No, Alex, don't worry, you're still very pretty."

Alex grinned. "Oh, good, I do want a date at some point in my life."

Tom glanced at the clock. "Alex, did you say our tickets were for nine tomorrow?"

Alex shrugged. "Yes, why?"

Tom glared at the clock. "It's midnight."

Alex pouted. "Darn. I guess we should go to bed now."

Tom was secretly looking forward to that part. He very rarely got any kind of physical affection. Ian and Crawley weren't demonstrative in the slightest and Jack got busy or worried about touching him after she had spotted the bruises when he first moved in. Besides, it was different with your friends. Tom decided to nap while Alex hogged the shower. He started awake nearly an hour later when Alex came out. "Your turn."

Tom squinted. "Do I have to?"

Alex gave him a look. "We're sharing a bed, so yes."

Tom huffed and got up. "I want snuggles."

Alex shrugged. "I don't mind."

Tom felt his neck crack as he got up. Damn, he should have used that pillow. But the bed had been so nice and plush.

Nile, instead of minding his own business, had decided to spy on the boys. What? He was curious. Besides, this was way more interesting than security work for an uber-rich client. Albeit, that was way more bare flesh from children than he had ever wanted to see. He'd looked away. Look he wasn't a prude, but there were some things you didn't want to watch. Now for the real questions. Were they a couple? It was a bit young, but he'd started when he was not that much older than them. Or just really good friends? Nile felt like sharing a bed with your BFF was super gay, but that could be personal bias since he'd never really had anyone he trusted enough to sleep next to. So, Tom was looking for a replacement guardian for both of them? This could get interesting. He was sure listening in wasn't that creepy. "Tom, why are you only looking for a guardian for me?"

The kid's reply was barely audible. "Because next to you, who would ever want me?"

Nile froze. Oh, god. Now he felt bad for listening to this. "I would."

He could hear Tom's huffing laugh from here. "Yeah, but we both know you don't care about the things normal people do."

Alex sighed lough enough for his bug to pick up. "You're at a college level, you can read those weird medical texts and know what's going on, you're at nearly Olympic levels for several sports, and you know like five billion languages."

Nile rolled his eyes. There were other things in life. But this could create an opening. Tom was feeling lonely and inadequate? He could work with that. "I like you."

Judging from the rustling, Tom shrugged. Nile chanced opening his eyes. Thankfully, both of them liked blankets. Alex continued. "You're the person I trust most in the world."

Nile felt a massive wave of embarrassment. This was worse than sex. Emotional intimacy was just, oh, god. No, no, please change the subject to arson or something. Please. The espionage gods apparently hated him, because Tom replied. "Alex, you and I have been friends for five years now. I think we can say 'I love you' now."

Alex moved. "I love you, too, Tom."

Nile wished he would be struck by lightning right about now. Tom seemed happy now. Nile felt himself inwardly cringing. Shit. He was going to somehow have to look them in the eyes and not die of embarrassment. He felt a stab of pity. No adults to trust, huh? That sucked, but he knew what it was like. Nile felt himself shudder at the idea of being that exposed. "Alex?"

The boy didn't move. "Yes, Tom?"

The brunette hesitated. "Do you think anybody else would, you know, prefer me?"

Alex, to his credit, answered immediately. "Of course, Tom. I'm not everybody's type and neither are you. We'll both find somebody."

Nile wished he could be that optimistic. Sadly, he knew what it was like to be second-best. Nobody ever really cared about second-best. He wondered whether he should kidnap friend, too. Clearly, Alex gave the most damns about him. "Alex?"

The blond boy sounded almost asleep. "Mmm. Hmm."

Tom sighed. "Never mind."

Nile decided he was walking off and chucking the pair to the bug, information be damned, out the window. It was time to go back to his job, anyway.

Alex woke up next to Tom and smiled. He tried to gently shove his friend off, so as not to wake him. A glance at the clock told him he had just enough time for a morning workout. He'd get Tom up for breakfast. Ian being Ian had its' perks and Alex knew there was a gym somewhere in the hotel. Technically, nobody under sixteen was allowed in them without supervision, but Alex had a sinking suspicion that the minimum wage was not enough to make hotel employees care enough to stop him. Hopefully, nobody would be there to witness his mutant strength. "Maddox?"

A buzz came from his phone. Yes?

Alex grinned. Make sure nobody spots me lifting. I don't want to get dissected.

The reply lit up his screen. But of course.

Alex rolled his eyes. He entered the gym and felt a small pang of...disdain? Well, the basement was better, but at least there was equipment. "I know, right?"

Ian must have spotted something in his expression. Alex felt his lips twitch. "We're a pair of prats, aren't we?"

Ian grinned. "Naw, this is a sad, sad gym."

Alex looked at Ian. "Now, now, Ian. Don't be a snob. This is probably all the comparatively destitute hotel owners could afford. All the weapons on our walls could not have been cheap."

Ian playfully whacked the back of his head. Alex just shook his head bemusedly. This was why SCORPIA had a full exercise routine you could do without equipment of any kind. It was also conveniently disguised as a yoga routine. Alex glanced at Ian. "So, what do we do now?"

Ian grinned and whipped out some knives. "Practice, of course."

Alex just looked at him. "Ian, you brought knives on vacation?!"

Ian huffed. "Don't think I didn't spot you cramming enough explosives to level a block in your carry-on."

Alex gave Ian a look. "Explosives are harder to obtain."

Ian retorted. "Knives are easier to explain to customs."

They both stared at each other for a bit. "We should probably get started."

Ian handed him the very familiar knife he'd had since their first trip to South America. "Yeah, let's get going, Alex."

The following two hours were pretty rough. It may not have the high stakes and threats of murder looming over your performance like Malagasto, but Ian was still pretty harsh. Albeit, Alex was pretty sure nobody on the planet could match Yermalov's four a.m. nightmare that might loosely be called a class. Ian nearly sliced his face before freezing. "You okay, Ian?"

Ian sighed. "Yeah. I just didn't want to hurt you is all."

They were both breathing pretty hard. Alex blinked. "I appreciate it."

Ian gave him a dry look. "Meet me here later tonight."

Alex groaned. Ian looked way too cheerful. "Oh, cheer up. This is good for you."

Alex huffed. "Yes, I'm sure every twelve-year-old should receive training in deadly weapons. There is absolutely nothing wrong with this picture."

Ian's grin was rather toothy. "Maybe if they did, there'd be less child trafficking."

Alex gave Ian a look. "I still feel like there are better ways to accomplish that goal."

Ian all but bounced out of the room. Alex was suddenly struck by a horrifying mental image of Yermalov and Ian meeting and shuddered. He'd never get an unhealthy snack or day off exercise ever again if that happened. They'd exchange recipes for beetroot smoothies or some shit and he'd get stuck drinking that until he was thirty. Alex decided it was time to get Tom up. And he was getting chips for lunch, just in case.

Alex was entirely annoyed by the outrageous crowd near the Eiffel Tower. To be fair, he had picked the location and he had known it was crowded, but still. Tom looked a little concerned. "Are you going to be okay?"

Alex gave Tom his trademark smirk. "Sure, Tom."

Tom gripped his forearm a little tighter. "Are you sure? I know you hate crowds."

Alex lightly pried Tom's fingers off. They were cutting off his circulation. "Relax, Tom."

It was quite a sight. There were lines everywhere surrounding the base of the tower. There were at least four couples with the man taking a (very stereotypical) picture of their girlfriend by the tower. Tom looked hopefully at Alex. "Sorry, Tom, I left all my drag gear at home."

Tom's lips puffed out. "Awww. It would have been awesome to get a picture of you like that."

Alex rolled his eyes. "Future blackmail material, more like."

Tom shrugged. "Awesome for me."

Alex snorted. "C'mon, mate, let's get some lunch."

Tom's eyes began to dance. "Can I troll the waitress by asking for ketchup with my burger?"

Alex looked at Tom. "Only if you wanted to run the risk of getting your food messed with."

Tom huffed. "I'm sure the waiters here are all very professional."

Alex looked at Tom. Tom had just had his French corrected by the waiter at their hotel. Ian had informed Alex that he could get the man fired if he wanted. Alex had been tempted but decided not to be a petty shit. Tom backtracked. "Okay, fine. I'll let you do the talking, so I'm less tempted."

Alex smirked. "Good plan."

Tom looked hopefully at the first place they passed. Alex wanted to get just far enough out of the touristy areas that the prices wouldn't be too badly hiked. "Naw, we'll get something a little farther out."

Tom clung to his forearm. "What?"

Tom gave Alex the evil eye. "Only one of us speaks intelligible French."

Alex shrugged and let Tom hold onto his arm. He found a decent place and declined Tom's idea to scandalize the waiter by ordering their burgers well-done. Alex did make up for that by ordering both Coke and fries. The waiter gave them a once over, but Alex knew for a fact that his French was flawless. He was not getting caught dead in Paris without perfect French and a perfect Parisian accent. Tom watched him bolt down his food in record time. "Hungry?"

Alex raised an eyebrow at Tom. "What do you think?"

Alex eyed his fries and just decided to order more. "Huh, weird. You usually eat like Ian's watching."

Alex shrugged. "I've decided fries won't kill me once in a while."

Tom grinned. Alex was awesome when he was in a rebellious mood. Now, all he had to do was keep this up. And hope that somebody who wasn't a murdering terrorist came along. Maybe he could try Russian dude? Sarov seemed to shrug off Ian's threats and MI6 connections like they were a particularly loose piece of lint. Plus, the guy seemed like he was pulling major strings. From what Alex said, they didn't just hand out invitations to Russia's best schools. Not to mention the books, letters, and, well, as much as Tom hated to admit it, diet. Tom could safely say the man fit most criteria for "responsible adult". Plus, he wanted a son badly, if Russian tabloids were anything to go by. Sarov also had publicly commented on Ian's "parenting skills". Tom felt like it was more of a lack thereof. And his parents had been shit. Tom hadn't looked for them and they didn't look for him. He was pretty sure he liked it better that way, but deep down it still stung that his mother cared more about booze than him. Tom didn't care about his father, but he wondered what it would be like to have an actual male role model. He glanced at Alex and wondered what they both would have been like if they had different parents. But, it didn't matter, he supposed. Alex and Tom. It was just the two of them now. To him, it seemed good enough.

Alex had picked out a museum for them to go to. Tom hadn't exactly been enthused at first, but that was before Alex had told him that the museum had a section on several kinds of weapons that could last for days. It was a lot more interesting when he had Alex next to him whispering about how the weapons would have been used. Tom would not deny that a huge appeal of the whole trip was Alex with him. He missed his friend when Alex and Ian went traipsing off to god-knows-where. "And this was a gold shield that belonged to Charles IX."

Tom paused. "Looks heavy."

Alex smirked. "Well, yeah, it's gold with velvet and gold thread."

Tom just looked at Alex. "Gold thread?!"

Alex grinned. "A classic sign of having too much money to blow."

Tom grinned. See, this was why Alex-history was the best history. "Why?"

Alex shrugged. "You could afford the goldsmith to hammer it and the gold itself, I suppose."

Tom stared. "Can you use it in battle?"

Alex snorted. "No, it's entirely an ornamental status symbol. Gold is too soft to cut through human skin and tends to dent and scratch very easily, especially as you get closer to pure gold."

Tom shook his head. "What's the bloody point then?"

Alex grinned. "Well, it looks very, very pretty, and very, very expensive."

Tom glanced around. There were a lot of guards. And a lot of people. "On a scale of one to ten, how close is this to an international incident if we steal it?"

Alex looked at Tom. "Ten. Although, if we don't get caught, it should die down after a month or two. Why?"

Tom sent his best pleading look at Alex. "Well, the French government is rich."

Alex gave Tom a deadpan look. "Yeah, in negative money."

Tom huffed. Not everybody got Ian Rider's early start civics lessons. "And we're poor."

Alex just looked at Tom. "Tom, we're upper-middle class."

Tom sighed. "I feel deeply deprived and need the giant shiny to complete my life."

Alex glanced at the shield and then glanced at Tom. "Tom. It's a national artifact."

Tom pouted. "Please, Alex."

Alex felt something inside his chest crumble. "Fine."

Tom was tempted to do a victory dance but refrained due to the crowd. "I love you."

Alex rolled his eyes. "You had better not expect a Christmas or birthday gift."

They both knew Alex would get him those gifts anyway. Tom smirked. "I think this is easily the most expensive gift you've gotten me, so it's fine."

Alex made a mental note to buy Tom a house and monthly groceries and a few other things when he got the chance. You know, useful, practical gifts instead of shiny stolen shields from the Louvre. Tom looked happy. Alex knew he was probably going straight to hell anyway, so he figured Grand Theft Shield was probably not going to get him that much more bad karma points. Alex was more amused than anything else. Besides, the British-French rivalry went back centuries. Everybody knew that. He was just carrying on the great British tradition of stealing from France. Tom stared at the tapestries Alex had conned him into seeing after the swords. "What are they made of?"

Alex glanced at it. "Wool and silk, most likely."

Tom huffed. "Why are they so big?"

Alex raised an eyebrow. "Castle walls are tall and drafty. You'd want insulation too, come wintertime."

Tom looked at it. "Wouldn't they have been better off with wool and silk blankets?"

Alex shook his head. "They had those, too, but you have to admit that enormous tapestries look way more impressive."

Tom felt his lips twitch. "True. Wait, is that the medieval version of-"

Alex cut him off with a look. "Lunchtime."

Tom loved Alex's tours.