Chapter 61: Greetings and Guests

Alex sat up in bed the next morning. He had sinking suspicion today was not going to go well. It was time to kidnap his shrink. Antonio gave him an amused look at breakfast. Alex rolled his eyes. "You know, kidnapping your shrink is such a serial killer thing to do."

Alex resisted a facepalm. "I know, but Belinda is necessary for my plans."

Antonio arched a brow. "Look, dude, I have ideas, but I need an actual shrink to help me out with some of the details. Messing with people's heads is risky otherwise."

Antonio paused in his breakfast. "True."

Alex grinned. Sometimes it was nice to have a guardian that was a crime lord. Nobody to stop you when you dragged your shrink into everything. "Are you ready?"

Alex was practically bouncing. "Yep."

Antonio got up. "Very well, off we go."

The drive to the cafe was short but tense. "Are you sure she's going to be there?"

Alex sighed. "About eighty-five percent sure."

Antonio shrugged. "Worst comes to worst, we can always buy pastries instead."

Alex snorted. Only Antonio. It was nice to have an adult around for his antics, though. Alex stepped out of the car. Belinda still had about fifteen minutes before she was due to show up, so he ordered a coffee and sat down. Antonio ordered something and sat across from him. Did Antonio not get the whole 'don't scare her' part? Alex hated to admit it, but the man was physically imposing. So, he wasn't bad looking, he was just very...fit. Antonio grinned. "Coffee at your age?"

Alex scowled. "The tea tastes like dirt on most of the continent."

Antonio just looked at him. "Would you like me to import it from England?"

Alex raised an eyebrow. "Dude, aren't we about to start a war?"

Antonio grinned. "Not openly for another year, at least."

Alex shrugged. Antonio would tell him about his plans when he was ready. Alex saw a flash of blonde from the corner of his eye and kept track of it from the corner of his eye. Belinda was here. She came towards the table. Alex drew as fast as possible. "It's time to relocate, Doc."

Belinda sharply inhaled and then nodded. Antonio had also drawn under the table. So far, nobody had noticed. Belinda simply sighed. "Okay, where's the car?"

Alex and Antonio both rose. Alex put away his firearm. Antonio kept his out. Belinda followed them and got into the car without a struggle. "Are you planning to rape me?"

Alex felt his mouth drop open. "God no."

Belinda looked thoroughly entertained at his reaction. Alex was bright red. "I didn't think so, but I was just checking."

Antonio didn't seem to know what to do. "I'm Antonio, Alex's new guardian."

Belinda gave him a scathing look. "Oh?"

Antonio sighed. "Yes, really. Get used to it. You'll be living in my house."

Belinda shot Alex a look. "We are talking about this."

Alex grinned. "Of course. I didn't kidnap you for your stunning good looks."

Ian groaned once he heard the news. "So, apparently, Alex sent her a note, asking her for a meeting in South America. As far as we can tell, she didn't know about his missing status and didn't question the location, due to you having been there before."

Ian moaned. "Of course not."

Crawley continued. "She took the plane tickets that she thought were provided by Alex's grandfather via the shell account."

Ian looked up. "Then shouldn't we have traced the computer?"

Crawley sighed. "He did it in a public library before he ran away."

Ian felt like slamming his head into the desk. "And then, Alex and Antonio pulled guns on her when she showed up."

Ian closed his eyes. "Maybe he just wanted psychological support?"

Crawley glared. "Maybe he should work out ways to not have me pulling overtime to keep him off Interpol's most wanted list."

Ian scowled. "He's only maybe robbed one museum and kidnapped one retired shrink. Surely they have bigger priorities."

Crawley just looked at Ian. "One, he's your nephew. Two, he's John's son. Most people still think Hunter worked for SCORPIA, remember? They'll try to nip him in at the bud because of you two."

Ian groaned. "Why did this have to go down?"

Crawley looked at Ian. "I mean it, Ian. If he pulls one more stunt, we're not going to be able to keep him off the list."

Ian groaned. Jones just looked at both of them. "I'll put out a directive. We want Alex Rider alive and unharmed."

Ian sighed. "Is it going to be enough?"

Jones snorted. "Not unless Alex's drug kingpin comes around."

Ian raised an eyebrow. "Alex's drug kingpin?"

Jones gave Ian a dry look. "Well, he's clearly not ours or Joe's if Antonio is threatening to start a gang war unless we let him have Alex, now is he?"

Ian rubbed his temples. "Evidently not."

It was just the start of Ian's shitty day. He had a phone call with Patrick later. The man was furious if the email was anything to go by.

Ian sighed and answered his phone. Patrick wasted absolutely no time ripping into him. "Exactly when did you plan to tell me my grandson had gone missing and is wanted by Interpol?!"

Ian sighed. "About the time of the next family reunion."

Patrick made a noise that sounded akin to a growl. "And did it not occur to you at all that we could help?! No, no. Clearly, your guardianship of Alex is more important than his health! First, I found out that you and my own daughter went behind my back again! Don't think I don't know about the injections. Then, I find out Alex is missing?!"

Patrick paused. Ian knew it was too much to hope that he'd had a stroke. "He's kidnapped his shrink, Ian! I don't know what he has planned, but I can tell you this. Your guardianship of Alex is hereby revoked! You're a clinically insane, reckless, irresponsible, selfish moron who shouldn't be in charge of a goldfish, let alone John and Helen's son!"

Ian felt like he'd been punched. "At the rate, you're going, you'll be lucky to get visitation by the time I'm finished with you!"

Ian couldn't resist responding. "You'll have to get him back first, you know."

Patrick snorted. "It's three on one. Four, if we count Jason. I think we have the advantage here, Ian Rider."

Ian huffed. "That may be, but Alex still likes me better."

Patrick snorted. "I wouldn't be so sure about that."

The click on the other end of the line let Ian know he'd been hung up on. Ian sighed. He didn't have the energy to fight Patrick and find Alex and fend off internal affairs. Ian sat down in the chair. Crawley came into the house shortly after. Jack was still giving him the silent treatment and Tom was looking almost apologetic. Ian snapped up. "Why do you look like you murdered my puppy?"

Tom flinched. "I may have figured out that Alex was planning to run away before he left."

Ian turned his fully homicidal glare on Tom. "And you didn't say anything?"

Tom sighed. "I thought he was planning to do it, you know, uh, later."

Ian facepalmed and groaned into his hand. "Next time Alex so much as breaths in the direction of the door, let me know, will you?"

Tom huffed. "You're assuming you'll get him back. Aren't drug cartels, like, really dangerous?"

Ian sighed. You'd think the twelve-year-old would be the positive one, but no. "Yes, yes they are."

Jack stared at both of them. "Do you know where Alex is?"

Ian looked at Jack. "Yes. But knowing isn't the hard part. The guy who has him lives in what amounts to a modern-day fort. Also, he has the sway to start what amounts to a continent-wide three-way war and is not afraid to use it."

Jack frowned. "Who on Earth wants a son that badly?"

Ian huffed. "He already has a damn son. I don't know why he needs Alex."

Jack looked at Ian. "Maybe he wanted a smarter one?"

Ian sighed. "This is a modern-day Helen of Troy situation, except replace wife with a son."

Jack looked at Ian. "This is what you get when you take him on your visits to crime bosses in the first place."

Ian knew there was no winning this one.

Alex stared at the papers and sighed. "We don't have enough information for the CIA end of this, Antonio."

Antonio rubbed his eyes. "That's what I was afraid of."

Alex looked at the list of cartel people. Antonio dined with them. "Antonio, you dine with most of these people, right?"

Antonio eyed him. "Well, yes."

Alex paused. "If you called for a giant banquet with all of them attending, would they come?"

Antonio looked pensive. "Most likely."

Alex looked at him. "Are you sure? Wouldn't they be suspicious?"

Antonio raised an eyebrow. "What are you getting at?"

Alex shrugged. "I'm suggesting we poison them all. You could take over while they scramble for leadership."

Antonio exhaled. "It could work. We have enough troops for the ones who would cause trouble. Most would likely just accept my leadership, especially after I remove their leaders."

Antonio rubbed his eyes. "It would save a lot of resources if we could avoid more violent consolidation issues."

Alex shrugged. "Plus, Maria's poisoned people for you before, right?"

Antonio looked at his papers. "Not on this scale before, but it should not be an issue. How is this going to play out at the CIA end? They'll be suspicious of any of my men."

Alex looked at Antonio. "This is where I come in. Card already seems interested in acquiring me, right?"

Antonio looked at him. "And?"

Alex grinned. "So, after 'you' poison the lot of the drug dealer leadership and preferably their second-in-commands, I'm going to act disgusted and horrified. We'll let Card have me and I'll go undercover. I've been trained as a spy my whole life, so I'll have an easier time of it."

Antonio sighed. "I don't like the plan."

Alex raised an eyebrow. "Have you got a better one?"

Antonio let out a single, long breath. "No. What will the excuse for the banquet be?"

Alex grinned. "You're announcing your intentions for the next year or so."

Antonio looked at him. "In May?"

Alex grinned. "It'll keep them all off-guard, won't it?"

Antonio sighed. "I'm sure they'll come either way. Nobody wants to offend me."

Alex grinned. "Heaven forbid."

Antonio swats him. "I'll have you know that I have a fearsome reputation."

Alex smirked. "I'm sure you do. I'll need to work on my horrified face."

Antonio sighed. "Try not to act like a complete sociopath during undercover. You'll blow up your excuse that way."

Alex gave Antonio a look. "I know how to act, Antonio."

The crime boss looked at him. "Let us hope. You'll need a new suit for tonight."

Alex pouted. "Do I have to?"

Antonio just looked at him and chuckled. "I'll have them make it silk. Silk is cooler than wool or polyester, trust me."

Alex sighed. He knew he was still doomed. "I want to give a cheesy speech."

Antonio snorted with laughter. "At least you admit it."

Alex sighed and mentally prepared himself for what would likely be a long-term cover assignment, while he was measured for his suit. He almost wished Nile was here. Nile seemed to be good enough with sizes that Alex did not need to go through being measured. Alex wondered what he was supposed to say exactly. What was he supposed to do? There wasn't exactly a class or a guide for this stuff. He already had his bag packed. It had his computer and a few changes of clothes, along with his other devices. The phones were kept on his person at all times. Alex wondered if he'd be searched or if they'd stick to his luggage. Even if they did, his phones were super locked. If Aunt Crazy hadn't been able to get in, he doubted that anyone else would. Thankfully, his fitting was now coming to an end. He had night exercises to finish and speeches to plan. Antonio seemed suspicious at his early bedtime but didn't seem to want to bring it up. Alex had also been continuing his education. His newly perfect memory was great for textbook questions but didn't exactly write essays for him. It was easy to plow through the rest of Sarov's medical textbooks. The man had sent over a hundred. Alex wondered why on earth there had been so many. Perhaps Sarov simply didn't have anything better to throw his money at? There was, after all, no plot to blow up Europe and Russia yet. It was strange, but after memorizing enough about anatomy he could almost visualize a working human body in his head. Alex sighed. It was time for his nightly chat with Jet pretty soon. He did wonder how staying up from three to five in the morning was working for Jet, but didn't dare ask her about the time zone, just in case. She might get suspicious if he knew where she was. Then again, he had illegally shipped plant to her. Alex wondered what Yassen would have to say about all of this. He did not plan to tell the assassin in advance. Yassen would just get mad and try to stop him. Plus, he had no idea if Nile was involved yet. The takeover would be hard enough without SCORPIA poking its nose in. Plus, they were aiming for a legitimate government, not an unfairly elected corrupt mess. SCORPIA was not getting involved if he could help it. Alex honestly doubted they would bother, though. They'd probably try after the war was over since wars were expensive to muck around in.

Yassen Gregorovich was not best pleased with the intelligence reports he was getting from SCORPIA. It was the usual. But they had frustratingly little on Alex's drug dealer. And Antonio was Alex's drug dealer since he didn't listen to anybody else. There was supposedly a huge dinner coming up, but nobody directly connected to SCORPIA had been invited. They could probably get someone from the CIA to cough up the information, but it wasn't ideal. Cossack resisted a sigh. Nile had been removed from South America. He supposed he could travel there himself. It wasn't his leave time, and he'd already taken a larger amount this year than standard. Any more and people would start sniffing around. Yassen didn't want SCORPIA uncovering his and Nile's plans before they had Alex in hand. They would just complicate things. And potentially murder Alex before Yassen could stop them if Kurst had his way. Yassen would be the first to admit that he was not exactly a saint, but Kurst made him look kind and forgiving. He took a deep breath. Alex. Alex. The young teen couldn't have possibly waited a few more years? Oh, no. Why make everyone's lives easier? Cossack knew he shouldn't get so sarcastic in his head. It might leak into other interactions. That would not be acceptable. Despite what Nile claimed, having a reputation as being almost inhuman had its advantages. Like not being bothered for non-critical items. Also, he was quite smug that it had been him and not, say, Nile, that had gotten the assignment to kill Kurst's designated usurpers. A place on the board was not a casual thing. Yassen wondered what Kurst was thinking. Neither the Grimaldi Twins nor Razim had the mental acumen to be a part of the board. The twins were likely codependent and were strictly medium-level. Razim was barely worth looking at as a local boss, although his connections to the former intelligence services and terrorist organizations might have been enough to get him to medium-level. Perhaps Kurst thought they might easily be manipulated? That was likely the case. The man had an unfortunate penchant for being overly aggressive that the other board members tended to reign in. Three extra votes in his favor would be more than enough to tip the balance. Still, while Yassen was glad not to have to work for any of those people, Kurst was going to be particularly unpleasant for the next few months. Either way, Yassen would survive. It was what he'd always done.

Zeljan Kurst was not a happy man. Pierre had somehow discovered his plans, investigated his chosen picks for puppets - sorry, fellow board members - and forked the information over to Brendan and Three. It was aggravating. Kurst rarely felt driven to choke the life out of people personally anymore, but Pierre would so be worth it. The SCORPIA board member had considered placing an obscenely large bounty on Pierre's head but did not quite want to risk pissing off Joe Byrne and Three and Chase. Kurst knew there would likely be an attempt on his life as it was. Just because he had one of the greatest security teams ever to exist and one of the best fortified and guarded bases in the world did not mean he should try very hard to invite death. Kurst liked taunting his enemies into attacking him as much as the next man, but only if he could ensure said enemy's downfall. Pierre. Kurst felt his eye twitch at the name on the file that he'd demanded from logistics. Well, he may as well read the file. Is well-organized and efficient. Well, no shit. He was able to run both a job in intelligence and his side-whatever with Chase. Has no respect for authority or reputation. Kurst frowned. Respect could be beaten in. Is creative in approaches to solving problems and removing obstacles. Task and result oriented. Result oriented. Kurst inhaled. He would say so. Pierre could make a valuable asset. There was no doubt about that. Logistics was rarely so complementary. Kurst skimmed the rough history between Pierre and Chase. Brendan had never liked sharing his toys. Then again, neither did he. Apparently, there was quite the cat-and-mouse game between the two. Chase had always been far too fond of intrigue. That wasn't Zeljan's problem, though. Has likely been wronged by organization(s) in the past. The mistrust of the command structure is evident. Openly refusing to join the organization outright. Kurst didn't require trust, only obedience. Hmm. Pierre was a little more creative than the people he usually took for himself. Pierre was also younger, though. They estimated his age at barely past twenty. Logistics had also supposed that Pierre was likely not physically imposing, given the man's choice in weaponry. Darts. Firebombs. Gas. Firearms. Knives. Not exactly his usual choices. Then again, Cossack was on the shorter end of things and was hugely successful, so it wasn't like he could judge. Kurst found himself wondering what the man actually looked like. Slim. Lithe. Probably. Kurst wondered if Chase would try one of his little assassination attempts if he stole Pierre away. Probably. Pierre would need some work. Kurst paused. He's let Chase do the hard work of reeling the man in. In the meantime, he wanted a file that was more facts than suppositions. "Koval. I want more information on Alec Pierre."

The man blinked. "Will he be joining us, Sir?"

Kurst arched a brow. It was a valid question. "That remains to be seen."

Alex walked into the overly large and packed banquet room following Antonio with no small amount of nervousness. Was he really about to do this? Alex quashed his feelings of guilt. These people were drug dealers and probably worse. He inhaled softly. Antonio glanced at him. Alex steeled himself for what he knew would be happening. Antonio stood. The soot-black suit contrasted with Alex's white outfit. Alex knew the choice was entirely deliberate. "Welcome, honored guests! I've called you here today…" Alex tuned out the rest of the speech in favor of people watching. It looked like everyone had already started eating. They had made their entrance deliberately late so people would start without them. "...And now Alejandro wants to say a few words."

Alex kept the grin off his face. His adrenaline surged. "Hello, there. Before we get started, I think a toast is in order." Alex rose. "To your health."

And then the good majority of their guests fell to the ground writing. The poison was doing its job. Alex made a mental note to thank Maria. The CIA contingent was, of course, unharmed. Antonio wasn't declaring war on them, after all. Alex swallowed, tossed his hair, and continued. "Antonio's goal is simple. We're going to consolidate the cartels into one." Alex mockingly inclined his head towards the CIA. "E Pluribus Unum."

Alex then sat down as the poisoned people slowly quit writhing. He felt like he was about to pass out as he watched them twitch. Could he even still call himself Alex after this? Antonio stalked over to the CIA table to intimidate them. Alex rose and slipped out. His part was done. Miguel had not been allowed to attend.

Alex barely made it back to his room before he threw up. He couldn't quite get the mental picture of the dead twitching bodies out of his head. This was probably the worst thing he'd ever done up close and personal in both lives. It was one thing to convince the Russians to bomb out a base. It was another thing entirely to poison a whole room full of people and watch as they all died. Alex felt a hand run through his hair. He looked up to see Belinda looking at him with an arched brow. "How was the murder spree?"

Alex felt his lips twitch despite himself. "Efficient."

Belinda's face softened. "Mmm. The stage is set for your little play."

Alex glared at her from over the rim of the toilet. "You don't seem too broken up."

Belinda shrugged. "These were rival cartels. The tamest of the business would include drugs. I wouldn't call it a loss for the world."

Alex glanced up at her. "Look, Alex, I can tell you this. You're not alone."

Alex gave her a skeptical look. "Antonio thinks you're brilliant. You have your pets from SCORPIA. I highly doubt Ian or your relatives will care too much about a few drug cartel leaders. Also, the CIA will likely stick you with their child assassin program."

Alex bolted up. "Their what?!"

Belinda looked at him. "Are you so surprised? They have an interrogation facility here, too. Is a facility full of child soldiers beyond belief?"

Alex blinked. "What am I supposed to do?"

Belinda sighed. "For the children? Their lives are hell. All you need to do is offer them a slightly better option."

Alex sighed. "What about the adults?"

Belinda sighed. "It largely depends on who your mentor ends up being. If you get Lance or Micheal, your chances of befriending or turning them are much better. If you get, say, Peter, you should probably murder him in his sleep along with the rest of the instructors who seem to enjoy their jobs a little too much."

Alex frowned. "How do you know all of this?"

Belinda sighed. "I used to be part of the program. It's one of the reasons Patrick picked me."

Alex pulled a knife on her. "Belinda."

Belinda resisted the urge to flinch back. "I resigned once they went under sixteen, Alex."

Alex sheathed the knife. "If I find out you lied about that, I will end you."

Alex grabbed her by her hair. Belinda gasped. "Who else? What other scumbags do I need to hunt down?"

Belinda trembled. "MI5, MI6, CIA, FSB, that's all I know about."

Alex dropped her. "When I'm done here, you are going to help me track down and put a stop to the rest. There will be no more of this shit!"

Belinda barely rose to a kneeling position. "Yes, si-Alex."

Alex blinked. "Sorry."

Belinda was shaking hard enough that she couldn't stand. Alex placed a hand on her and brought her to a standing position. "I shouldn't have doubted you."

Belinda looked wide-eyed at him. "It's f-fine. I've done some questionable things in the past."

Alex sighed. He hadn't exactly meant to go SCORPIA on her ass, but still. She did just admit to helping create assassins and what was he supposed to have done? "No, it's not. I apologize for manhandling you."

Belinda sighed. "I accept your apology. Now, if I were you, I would think about your approach to Card and his lackeys."

Alex glanced at her. "Are you going to help?"

Belinda snorted. "Of course."

Tom Card was there the next morning. As it turned out, Alex didn't need to manipulate him at all. There was steel in the man's eyes. "In exchange for continued peace, we want Alejandro."

Antonio glared. "You will not kill him, or there will be hell to pay."

Card blinked. "Of course not. We're not monsters!"

Alex raised an eyebrow. "I won't be returned to my guardian, either. He's a dick."

Card coughed. It took Alex a second to realize the man had choked back a laugh. "That wasn't what we had in mind, either."

Alex glared at the man. There was no need to draw suspicion by acting too submissive. "I'm going to need my shrink."

Card just looked at him. "You have a shrink?!"

Alex turned a faint shade of pink. "Yes."

Card raised an eyebrow. "Really? It doesn't show at all."

Alex snapped. "Oh, fuck you, Card." The man Card brought with him was sniggering into a handkerchief. Alex gave both of them unimpressed looks and threw up his hands. "Fine, FINE! I'll fucking go. Give me a few minutes to pack." The man was now unsuccessfully choking back laughter. Alex gave him a second glance. Well, fuck. It was Lance from that shitty Afghanistan trip. Alex was contemplating murdering Ian as he got back and told Belinda they were going and to pack quickly. Alex made sure to be fucking huffy as he got into the car. Card looked torn between amusement and horror at his attitude. Lance had given up even faking coughing by the time they got into the car. "Oh, shut the fuck up, Larry."

The man gaped. "How'd you know my real name?"

Alex rolled his eyes. "I thought I was deliberately fucking up your current alias, but thanks for that little tidbit."

Larry groaned. Card was looking outright amused by this point. "So, Alex, how would you like to be around kids your age?"

Alex resisted the urge to eyeroll. "Miguel was fine. And I usually prefer adults."

Card sighed. "How did you get away with being a rude little shit for this long?"

Alex grinned. "You know how it is, Card-o. I'll bet you're never home and don't even know your kids' favorite foods either."

Card pinched the bridge of his nose. "My wife knew what she was getting into, not that it's any of your business."

Alex mentally noted that the man did have a wife and kids. It might come in handy. "So, what did you have in mind for this little shit show?"

Belinda arched a brow at him. "Nah, it's a fair question. You'll find out once we get there."

Alex rolled his eyes. "Like that's not suspicious at all. My going theory here is pedophile, just so you know."

Card looked at him. "Oh, really?"

Alex maintained an innocent expression. "Yep."

Lance was, once again, chortling away. Alex wondered if he'd traded sexual favors to become a spy because the man's poker face was currently hitting nonexistent. "Since you seem to find Alex so entertaining, you can be his mentor."

Card turned toward Alex. "You'll need to pick a new name."

Alex grinned. "Xander Onassis, at your service."

Larry whimpered. "It sounds so fake."

Alex glared at the man. "Like Lance Larsen doesn't!"

Larry flipped him off. Card grinned. "Looks like you'll get along famously."

Larry glared at Card. "You want me, your top assassin, to train the blonde piwi?!"

Card smirked. "Yes, yes, I do."

Larry groaned. "I want to die."

Card whacked him. "Quit being melodramatic. I'll give you more teens to mentor if you don't."

Larry squawked. "What?!"

The car stopped and Card exited. "I'll leave you three to get acquainted. See you in my office in an hour."

And then promptly vanished.

Alex looked at Larry. "Is he high or did you drug me?"

Larry sighed. "Nope, sorry kid. Looks like you're stuck with me. Do you want a beer or something?"

Alex stared at Larry. "One, I'm twelve. Two, it's not even noon yet."

Belinda had her face in her hands. Alex didn't blame her. "I think Beds will take the beer, though."

Larry grinned. "I'd appreciate it if you called me Lance in the base. There's no need for everyone to know my name."

Alex shrugged. "Sure."

Larry ruffled his hair. "Good job, Xany."

Alex jammed his elbow into Larry's kidney. "It's Xander."

Larry grinned. "Sure, sure. I'm just gonna call your shrink Lindy."

Belinda's head snaps up. "Fuck no, you won't."

Larry's grin went almost creepily wide. "Oh, whatcha gonna do about it?"

Belinda raised an eyebrow and said in a deadpan. "Sedate you and castrate you while you're unconscious."

Larry gulped. "On second thought, I'll call you whatever you want to be called."

Belinda smirked. "Good. Shall we proceed on the scenic route to Card's office?"

Larry sighed and held the door open for her. Alex hopped out. Larry shut the door and the car drove away. Alex felt a sinking suspicion that the feeling of being trapped was not an exaggeration. Belinda followed them. Alex stood slightly behind Larry. They walked into the grey building. Larry smirked and refused to let either of them open any doors. "You people just leave the doors unlocked?"

Larry rolled his eyes. "We're in the middle of nowhere and we have great fences. Why bother?"

Alex raised an eyebrow but said nothing. Security weakness number one. Yay! Alex was going to sleep so well knowing that these idiots didn't lock the front door. Belinda, for her part, looked impassive as ever. Alex offered her his hand. He knew unfamiliar places and buildings were particularly rough for her. Belinda took his hand. Alex felt her slowly clench tighter and tighter as they continued to be gawped at for the entire way up to Card's office. Someone broke the silence once they got to the upper offices. "Micheal?"

The man spit out his coffee at the sight of him. The blue eyes went wide. "This Xander, he'll be a student at the academy."

Micheal's face lit up with equal parts rage and understanding. His tone was ice. "I see."

Alex took in the sight of his nineteen-year-old friend. "Set anything on fire lately?"

Micheal choked on the sip of coffee he'd attempted to swallow. "As a matter of fact, yes. It's my job now, you see."

Alex resisted the slightly hysterical urge to laugh. "You lucky piece of shit. Turning your one true love into a job."

Micheal rolled his eyes. "Uh, huh. Like you're any better."

Lance was now giving them the "hurry the fuck up" look. "We'd better get up to Card's office."

Alex was all but dragged away from Micheal. "You know each other?"

Alex shrugged. "State-mandated therapy."

Lance shrugged. "Shock of the year."

His tone implied that it very much wasn't. They were finally at their destination. Lance knocked on the door.

"Come in."

Alex glanced around the office. If Blunt's office was the epitome of grey, Card's was the epitome of brown. Alex took a look around and ruled out that the man was working here only in an official capacity. Not with mahogany, anyway. "Nice desk."

Belinda and Lance just looked at him. Card's lips twitched. "Thank you, Xander. I rather like it, too."

Card reached into his desk. Alex tensed and suddenly wished he'd had the foresight to have his kevlar. Thankfully, it wasn't a gun. It was a stapled stack of paper. Lance was also handed one. Card just looked at Belinda, sighed, and pulled out the third packet. "Here's your introduction to the school. You'll be going there tomorrow by helicopter. Read it through here, and then ask about questions you might have."

Alex glanced at the paper and began reading. The introduction was pretty cheesy. "Was this written for ten-year-olds?"

Card sighed. "That is the packet for your age group, Xander."

Alex continued reading through the school rules. "You're a principal?"

Card pinched the bridge of his nose. "Yes."

Alex looked up. "No offense, but you look more like a drill sergeant than a headteacher."

Card sighed loudly. "It's school. For child assassins. Keep reading."

Alex continued. Blah, Blah. No fighting with students except in hand-to-hand combat class. Blah. Blah. Alex got to the curriculum. "This says we have sixteen-hour days."

Card didn't even blink. "That is correct, Xander."

Alex arched a brow. "Eight hours of exercise? We'll have permanent joint damage by our mid-twenties if we're lucky."

Well, normal people would. Alex wasn't exactly about to admit he was genetically modified not to. "Well, we have generous retirement packages for anyone who makes it to twenty-five."

Alex knew he wasn't going to win this one, so he kept reading. "What are the two-hour blocks with our mentors for?"

Card glanced at Lance before answering. "Anything your mentor sees fit to teach you aside from classes. For instance, Lance here specializes in knife work, among other things. That would be where he would instruct you privately."

Alex sighed. "How do you decide which classes to put us in?"

Card's eye twitched. Well, he had said to ask away. "There is a two-week assessment period when you get there."

Alex kept reading. It all seemed like shit that Ian and the family taught him or had on the list. "Four hours of normal, non-language curriculum?"

Card looked proud. "Well, for one, we don't want you without the baseline that normal society members need to blend in. For another, basic education does come in handy."

Alex paused. "What if I'm at a college graduate level already?"

Card actually smiled. Alex was suddenly concerned about his longevity. "We have elective courses for that. There are things like woodworking, cooking, pop-culture, and financial management."

Alex paused. Those sounded fun. "You'd still have to take hard science and alternating literature and history courses to satisfy state requirements, but other than that there are no hard requirements."

State requirements? State requirements? Was Card fucking with him or just clinically insane? Alex read through the rest of the document. It sounded like a twisted private school for the gifted. "What about if I test out of your non-normal curriculum?"

Card raised an eyebrow. "You'd have to talk with your mentor. It'd be either more private lessons or more electives."

Lance was staring at him. "Read faster, Lance."

The man grumbled. "Fine, fine."

Alex read through and had no further questions.

After they got done reading, the three of them were quickly escorted to quarters. Alex took in the plain room. It was sparse, but not pathetic. Alex leaned back into his bed. "Do you think you'll test out of special classes?"

Alex glanced at Lance. "Yes."

Lance perked up. "Could be fun."

Alex glanced at the man. "Why are you even allowed near small impressionable tweens again?"

Larry barked out a laugh. "Don't ask me. I was rejected for mentorship by the psych department."

Alex snorted. "Gee, I wonder why."

Larry threw a pillow at him. Alex chucked it straight back. Larry grinned. "Well, I'm kind of bad at the whole parent figure thing."

Alex rolled his eyes. "You're a sociopathic alcoholic with a mercenary side-job, you mean."

Lance snorted and then paused. "I'd appreciate it if you kept that quiet."

Alex sighed. "Fine, but I have goals."

Lance mock-gasped. "No? You mean that overacted performance was a farce? The shock!"

Alex froze. "You knew?"

Lance sighed. "Kid, I'm an assassin. I'd be dead if your level of shitty acting skills fooled me. Also, I've studied tapes of you. Don't worry, Card didn't notice."

Alex groaned. "We'll work on that and what I call 'interpersonal skills' for an hour of mentorship-land."

Alex resisted the urge to roll his eyes. "Have you ever actually had a student before?"

Lance sighed. "Not a little kid, no. I was picked up and trained by an assassin at fourteen, though. I am also training up Micheal, so he'll probably be joining us."

Alex sighed. "Anyone else?"

Lance shrugged. "Yeah, but they were my adult partners and they all kinda died."

Alex felt a small stab of sympathy. "I'm sorry."

Lance shrugged. "It's a risky line of work."

Belinda looked startled. "What sort of missions did you do?"

The man sighed. "Cold war stuff. Later on, training uprisings, that sort of thing."

Belinda eyed him. "Mhm."

Lance growled. "If you've got a problem, spit it out, Shrinky Dink."

Belinda sighed. "Nothing. Let's just go to bed. I'm sure the helicopter gets here at an ungodly hour."

Lance glanced at his pager and groaned. "Four in the morning."

Alex blurted out. "What about clothes?"

Lance shrugged. "Your luggage is probably in the closet."

The rest of the evening passed mostly in silence.

Note: Totally stole Koval from Pongnosis. She said it was fine. Relax, people. Also, Lance/Larry will be used interchangeably with that character. There are two other things. One, people have been bringing up shipping Alex. People, he's physically twelve and mentally twenty. Having him be with someone mentally his age is pedophilia. Having him be with someone physically his age is pedophilia. Needless to say, that makes any shipping awkward for a while. I have not decided if or who Alex will be with. We'll see. Thing number two: Sarov. It's happening. I have plans. But this arc with Antonio needs to happen first. It's important to Alex and Sarov's relationship later.