Howdy, howdy. I will be honest and say that this is likely not going to be the best chapter because I am drunk currently and wrote this drunk, but tell me what you all think about it? It still fits into the plot. I feel kinda depressed lately with corona-virus and not having a post-grad job anymore so motivation is hard to come by in terms of updating. Never fear though, I will not abandon this story. I jut want to add hoW much everyone's reviews mean to me. Aredheldraugh, Iterations, Lomion, Sansa, Huldi, Loyalheart, Ara, Starlight, and all the guests/anons! All you guys keep the inspiration going! It means more than words can sat
The next thing I was aware of was the presence of hot tears falling down my cheeks and arms wrapped around me. I blinked gripping Airawende tighter as the tears fell faster. I did not know how I knew, but I knew it was her that I was hugging.
"Tar-Mairon told me things" I croaked out releasing her and gripping her shaking hands in mine. She looked determined and scared at the same time.
"I know Haldamire, I know, you just told me" She said doggedly. I felt puzzlement slide through me. What was it Tar-Mairon told me and how did Airawende already know?
"b..but" I started before she cut me off.
"it is alright" She squeezed my hands tight. Confusion swirled through. I just saw her, just now. How could I have told her anything? And how the hell did I get here? I know Tar-Mairon had a message for me to send to help Airawende, but the last thing I remember is nothing but Tar-Marion's warm breath and mouth next to my ear. "I can do it Haldamire. Don't you trust me?" She asked giving a small smile under the tears. What did she want to do? I needed to know. I felt dread creeping through me, but also hope and I did not know what to believe in.
"Airawende" I said her name our hands still gripping each other. "Chloe" I choked out in garbled whisper leaning in close. She stifled a yelp of shock and, I think, pleasure. She was happy that I used her original name.
"I knew you were never as compliant as you acted. You just happen to be subtler" She said conspiratorially in a choked voice. I did not contradict her. Tar-Mairon would not punish me for this. At least not this time. Not when I am using it to….? To what? What am I using it for? I love Chloe as my sister, but why do I need her real name for manipulation? Would I not normally say it? There was something missing here. I needed to find out what.
I released her hands with a muffled shout of pain gripping my head as pain exploded.
"Haldamire!" Chloe shouted and then whispered "Leila, Whats the matter? Are you okay?"
"I..I…I am fine" I said feeling the pain subside slightly " I swear" I added at her dubious expression.
"you don't look" She began until I cut her off rapidly.
"I am fine Airawende. I swear, but I must go now" I said feeling inexplicable terror and bolting towards the door. "I love you. You are my best friend. Do whatever I said" I said urgently feeling a strange conviction that her doing whatever I had instructed was the best plan. I caught of glimpse of confusion and pain in her face, but also the determination that had been there when I had returned to myself. I ran breathless out of the cave that I spoke to her in.
I stopped gasping when I felt that I run far enough away and leaned against the wall closing my eyes. What was happening to me? I was afraid, deeply afraid. More afraid then when I had my mouth sewn shut. That was more physical pain then the terror of not knowing. I could myself sliding but refused to hold myself up. I sat with my head against the wall for some time trying to think everything but finding nothing. I felt lost again as some orcs stopped in confusion and excitement at my presence. I rose feeling unbridled frustration and hatred spread its wings.
I could not think fast enough to translate the words nor did I really want to. I simply stood up and stared at them asking who wanted to face the wrath of Tar-Mairon for touching me or even looking at me. An unusual vindicating pleasure radiated through me at their expression as they hurried on spitting in anger and malice showing through. I felt a dark smile begin and wondered if it was a good time to ask Tar-Mairon to teach me.