Okay, so for fun, I decided to play with this idea. Each chapter is an "unrelated" oneshot – The first chapter WAS going to be a standalone fic… But then I started thinking about what if Carly landed in that year, or this year or back then or… and since there is endless possibilities, I'm just gonna go with it. There may be more random years coming – or I could get busy with life, and this could be the last one… Who knows? But that is part of the fun, right?
PS - I'M ALSO HEREBY GIVING PERMISSION TO ANYONE WHO WANTS TO, TO COPY THE FIRST CHAPTER AND TAKE CARLY TO ANOTHER YEAR. JUST DM ME WITH THE LINK SO I KNOW IT'S UP AND CAN GO READ IT TOO. ;-) WE CAN CALL IT THE FLASHY-THINGY-VERSE. :-b
"I am so done." Carly mutters under her breath.
Against her better judgement, and with really nothing to lose, she decided to trust Sonny. And of course, it blew up in her face.
Needing some time to think, she decided to head to the bridge. Weather being in Jason's favorite spot will calm her down or turn her into a cry baby, either way, the longing for her... bestfriend... drives her there. The driver dropped her at the edge of the docks so she can take her usual shortcut through the docks towards the bridge. Tony is on her heels as unobtrusively as possible. She appreciates how well he leaves her to her life. Silently she hopes that the bridge in unoccupied. Drew has been a real friend the past few weeks, but she doesn't feel like being around anyone else tonight.
As she rounds the corner, she is met with a sight that tells her she definitely took a very wrong turn today.
Victor Casadine, a man she had seen outside Peter's hospital room a few weeks ago, several times and a scrawny, quiet guy that screams low-life minion, all turn to her.
Victor is the first to take a step toward her, hand rummaging in his pocket.
"How much have you heard?" he asks, menacingly.
"Nothing. I swear." Carly answers stepping back, involuntarily.
"That's far enough." Tony announces behind her, his gun pointed at Victor.
Victor looks annoyed while he answers.
"I'm afraid I cannot take the chance to believe your claim."
Carly hears a scuffle behind her and then Tony is next to her on the ground.
"People will notice if I'm missing." Carly threatens.
Victor shrugs indifferently, then one of his men takes her handbag and take out her phone.
"It's time for you to disappear." He takes out a device from his jacket pocket, then continues conversationally... "I wish I could tell you where you will disappear to or even if you would still exist, but I'm afraid I stole this off a man too dead to give me the details. Suffice it to say, you won't be here."
A split second before a bright flash engulfs her vision, Carly can't help but wonder if this device could take her to Jason.
And then everything goes dark.
"Carly?!" she can hear Jason calling her name.
As she fights her way to the surface, she wants to smile.
Whatever that thing is, it did take her to Jason. The fact that she is most probably dead is an afterthought.
Then she hears Sonny's angry voice.
"Oh, cut the theatrics!"
"Yeah, No-one's falling for her act." Emily states
She opens her eyes to find herself staring into Jason's concerned orbs. Then looks past him towards Sonny and Emily, both staring at her angrily.
For once, she has no words, just gives Jason a panicked look, and allows him to help her up.
"I have to go." She announces, still disoriented, and turns to go. She is fairly certain Jason will follow her out. He has to know something is up. No-one reads her like he does.
She makes her way outside, ignoring the accusations from Sonny and Emily about her faking a faint and her "wanting attention" and "trying to get her way." Only once she is outside can she breathe. She is still feeling faint, but this time, from the shock.
She's somewhere in the past… 2005? 2006? The Sonny-Emily saga got a bit blurred through the years. She's somewhere in the past! The past! As in whatever Victor did, she didn't disappear, and she didn't die… or did she? Is this purgatory?
She closes her eyes, starts breathing, counting to ten out loud. She gets to seven to find a warm hand on her shoulder and the comfort of Jason's presence surrounding her. She turns around to face him and then gives in to her desire to make sure he is real.
She throws her arms around him while the tears start flowing.
He holds her gently, trying to push her away so he can look into her eyes. Eventually she relents, loosens her arms enough for him to push her back far enough to search her face.
"What the hell just happened in there?" he asks.
Carly takes a deep breath, stands back, rubs over her eyes, looks around searching for something. How is she supposed to tell him she traveled through time? This is around the time she had just gotten out of the hospital. Would he believe her? She misses the Jason that knew her well enough to know when she needs help and when she doesn't but in this time of their lives… He had some memory problems, she had some mental problems, the whole Sam thing was new and a bone of contention between them and there were just so many misunderstandings…
"Carly?!"
"Will you believe me?"
"Of course."
"You don't understand Jase, I'm serious, if I tell you the truth you will probably think I have lost my mind. Completely."
Jason frowns, then takes her arm, pulls her towards the car.
"Where are we going?"
"I don't know, but something tells me we can't have this conversation on Sonny's doorstep." He answers.
Once they're in the car, Jason looks over at Carly, then shrugs before issuing the order.
"Metro court."
The car starts moving.
"Something happened in there." He states, leaving it to Carly to continue.
"Yeah, um, I'm not from… now." Carly answers.
Jason is quiet for a beat, no doubt weighing her words, what she means and also that she believes what she is saying enough to not be lying.
"You're telling me you traveled through time?" Jason asks, pulling an eyebrow and looking at her like she just told him about a new one of her schemes.
She never really noticed, but he had been doing that a lot less through the years and it bothers her. It feels like the Jason Morgan from this time didn't truly understand her as much as she thought he did, and he didn't respect her opinions either.
She shrugs, shakes her head.
"I don't know… I could be in purgatory, and this could all be fake." She answers, sits back, looks sad.
"Sonny and Emily is your purgatory?" he answer-asks.
"No." Carly rolls her eyes, "I mean, either I traveled through time or I am dead – unless I'm in a coma..." she rambles, "but why would I be creating now? There is nothing special about now compared to any other time…"
Jason sighs, rubs his temples.
"Carly?!" he startles her back to being present in the moment, then sits forward before asking.
"Okay, so what year are you from and why?"
Carly looks at him and feels an annoyance scratching at her. He is asking in a way that borders between should I or shouldn't I indulge the crazy woman?
Condescending.
It's strange. Never before would she have used those words to describe Jason, but that's because after so many years of sharing so much, he had gotten to know her so well that he truly knew her inside out, and also knew how genuine her intentions are, how deep her love for her family is, and why she reacts in the ways that she does. But she also remembers this Jason. The Jason that couldn't pull out of her life because he loved her too much, whether he admitted or not, but also believed all the things the people around her told him about her. The only things she can do is what she would have done in this time, which sadly was to pretend to not know that he is just indulging her.
"2022. And there is no "why". I was in the wrong place at the wrong time, and I ran into the wrong person who wanted me gone." She answers, trying to not sound bitter and failing, miserably.
"You were in the wrong place at the wrong time." Jason echoes, sounding tired. "Can you do me one favor and just stay out of trouble for a while? I have to deal with the Sonny and Emily situation."
Carly can't help but bristle at his words. She understands why this Jason is reacting the way he is, he feels overwhelmed with Sonny and Emily and why wouldn't he assume she just needs another little visit to inpatient therapy? Who would believe the whole time travel thing? But what he doesn't realize is that she knows better than him what schemes she pulled, how they turned out... and she has changed.
She can't help but let the anger show as she answers him.
"Why would I get into trouble Jase? I lived this already, I know all the schemes I pulled, I know how they turned out, and I know how meaningless most of them were, and for the record, Emily gets hurt either way, emotionally, but she also helps Sonny get diagnosed and get treatment. He's bipolar. You know how I know that? Because Emily got him into treatment, and yeah, she got hurt, and they fought and it didn't work out, because Sonny is Sonny. You know who else got hurt? Sam. Sam got shot, because you decided the only way to save Sonny from himself is to take the business away from him, and because Sonny is Sonny he put out a hit on you and then regretted and cancelled it but not before Sam got shot. So no, Jason, I will not be causing you any trouble to clean up, in fact, I can help you avoid a hell of a lot of trouble." Once she started, she couldn't stop the words pouring out and at some point she had started crying. The car had stopped.
Jason is still staring at her, shocked when she pulls open the door and starts getting out.
He grabs her arm.
"Carly, wait."
Carly sits back, then sighs.
"Come see me later. We can talk. I'm sorry Jase. This… isn't your fault, and I'm taking it out on you. I just… I need to go wrap my head around being here, figure out exactly…. when… I am. I'm still a little fuzzy on what has happened and what still needs to happen, and…" she reaches over to grab his hand, squeezes it, "We're okay, I promise."
Without waiting for an answer, she bolts out the door, shutting it loudly, then enters the Metro court.
Jason just stares at the seat where Carly was sitting a few seconds ago.
He believes her. God help him, but he believes her. Not just because she is Carly. Not just because he knows when she is lying. But because she is so… Un-Carly? Carly doesn't run from him. Carly doesn't "wrap her head" around things. Carly does things without pausing. And Carly doesn't normally assure him that they're okay, she seeks assurance from him.
It leaves him feeling suspended and lost. His Carly is… gone. And something changed in their future. Something that made her more aware of his feelings, or how her words and actions affect the people around her… he should be happy about it, but it leaves him feeling like… he missed out on something in her life.
He sits back. There is nothing he can do about that.
So, he does what he always does, live in the present.
Jason exits the elevator, and proceeds down the hallway towards Carly's door. He has accepted the situation. Carly is from the future, she had changed and this is the new reality.
He is fully aware that other people won't react this way. Maybe it's the brain damage but he is a realist, and facts must be faced and lived with. Even facts that sound like they aught to be in a sci-fi novel.
He is about 6 feet away from her door when it swings open.
"I can't believe you are doing this to me!" Jax shouts, then barrels past Jason nearly bumping him out of the way if Jason hadn't side-stepped at the last minute. He watches Jax angrily press the elevator button three times before huffing around and heading for the stairs. He turns back to see Carly in the doorway, looking tired.
"Is this a bad time?" he asks as he approaches her.
She shrugs.
"He'll get over it. Hopefully."
He follows her inside and shuts the door with his elbow.
"Get over what?"
"Spencer… I mean, little John isn't his. Nikolas is the father and it will come out, eventually. I told him if he doesn't tell, I will."
"Did you tell him about…" he starts, she cuts him off.
"No. There is no way Jax won't find some way to use it to his advantage." She answers, matter-of-factly
"So, nothing much changed with him?" Jason remarks.
"A lot did, but Jax is Jax." She hands him a beer, then sits down.
"I married him." She pulls a face, "Yeah. He was supposed to be my knight in shining armor far away from Sonny and the mob. He was supposed to be a safe haven for me and my kids. I was wrong. And don't get me started on his brother… Jerry comes to town, wreaks havoc, several times actually. You should really kill him when you get the chance."
Then she looks sad.
"We had a daughter." She looks up to see him looking confused, "Me and Jax." She clarifies, "I'm scared she will never be born now… I just don't know if I can fake a relationship with him, knowing what I know…" she pauses, staring at nothing in particular. "She was beautiful Jase, she grew up to be strong and courageous. Her name was Josslyn, and she played Volleyball. And I don't know if I'll ever… know her…" Carly is crying now.
Before Jason has really decided what he's going to do, he finds himself next to her, cradling her as she cries against his chest.
She pulls herself together and sits back.
He feels off. He isn't used to her pulling back so quickly. He is used to having to wait for her to let go.
"Oh God! There is so much you need to know and I just don't know where to start. There is your time in Russia and Michael's coma and going to prison and… Ugh!"
"Wait? Who went to prison? Michael?!"
"Okay, so we'll start there." Carly fake smiles as she points at nothing in particular with a flourish to her wrist.
She takes a deep breath before she starts.
"Our boy got shot. Sonny was dating this woman and she wanted to play happy families, so she took my boy to the warehouse and the Zhacarah's put out a hit on Sonny and Michael got shot. He… got shot in the head, Jase. He was in a coma for almost 2 years. When we finally got him back, Sonny had married Claudia Zacarah, it was messy, it ended bad. I was pregnant with Josslyn and she held me at gunpoint and kidnapped me as I was going into labor. She wanted to take Josslyn. Michael found us and he hit her over the head and… and she died. We tried covering it up but of course, it all came out. You… you plead to a misdemeanor and went to prison to protect him. But… you can't be everywhere, Jase… and he… he… got raped."
Jason's face went from sad to angry to horrified during her retelling.
"I…. I want him gone from Sonny, Jase… it sounds selfish, I know, but I want him gone from Sonny and Morgan too."
"How will you do that?" Jason asks.
"When Michael was in the coma, you had Sonny sign all his rights away to Morgan. I thought, with me and Jax married my boys will be safe. Jax knew all along that Claudia was the one who put out the hit. He never told us, not even when Michael woke up and was living in the same house as her."
"Wait, Michael was living with Sonny?"
"He was angry when he woke up and he directed it all on me. I was pregnant, he felt I was replacing him. I was the strict one, Sonny was the nice one…" she trails off, shrugs.
"Getting him away from Sonny would mean sparing him more pain in future. The time I come from…" pain shows in her eyes, then she looks down, "they aren't talking, Sonny is testifying against his cause in court… it's…"
"And I wasn't able to talk Sonny out of it?"
He realizes immediately that he asked the wrong question. Carly's looks stricken.
"What? What is it? There is no way I would be supporting Sonny in this."
Carly shakes her head, looks down, looks up and around him before she takes a deep breath.
"Jase… you're gone."
"Gone where?" he asks, he knows in his soul he wouldn't just up and leave her, not if he can help it.
She looks down.
"Gone-gone."
For a second time stands still while Carly's words sink in.
"How?"
"Well, there is another longer story…." Carly sits back, hugging herself like she wants to soothe or protect herself against the memories.
"You went to Crete to save someone, he came back, you didn't. Jason, you have another brother. And we have to find him."
"I have another brother?"
"Twin actually, identical twin. See, the thing is, we have to find him, before Cezar Faison does. When he finds him and see the resemblance… he decided to switch you out… okay, I have to go back." She takes a deep breath, hoping to make sense. "Helena and Faison were working together. They wanted to brainwash you to be loyal to them, cause well, you're you and who can stop them if you are on their side, willing to kill anyone who gets in their way…? But they can't, because of your brain damage it doesn't work, so he finds your twin, Drew… Andrew Cain. He is in the military. So he grabs him, then grabs you but makes it look like you died and he gets this one doctor who is working on some Alzheimer's treatment that allows you to mind-map someone's memories onto a computer so it can be re-programmed back into their brain, but then he makes the doctor map your memories and give it to Drew."
Jason sits forward.
"They swapped us out?"
"Well, it's a long story and eventually everyone believed he was you, and then you came back, and there was this big fight about who was who, and Drew was really angry at me because when I looked into your eyes, I knew... but Jase, for years we believed you were dead and… then finally you were back and now… I've already lost you twice in a lifetime. It sucks. Do you have any idea how hard it is to keep living in a world that hasn't got you in it?"
Suddenly it makes sense to him. Why Carly is less… needy. Why she cried and hugged him as soon as they were alone outside of Sonny's. Why she has changed so much in little ways that feels different to him. Why her love for him is still there but seem different somehow, less... selfish.
"I know it's a lot to take in." Carly pulls him out of his thoughts, "And maybe we can sit and make lists of all the bigger things we can change."
"Yeah…" Jason rubs over his face, "Do you have some paper."
Carly laughs.
"Not now, Jase, it's almost midnight, You have to get home. We have time…" then she leans forward wrapping her arms around his and resting her head on his shoulder. "Time… I get to see you again, talk to you, touch you, hug you…" she's quiet for a while before she continues, "okay, maybe less touching and hugging. I don't think I have the emotional capacity to get into it with Sam."
She feels slightly deflated. It's so good to see him and touch him and hear his voice, but she will have to get used to him not being her Jason at all. She had fallen alone, again, and yet not being able to see him, hurts more. She managed to move on from him, she can do it again, somehow.
Jason looks down at her, confused. He doesn't know what to think. Did Carly come to terms with his relationship with Sam or is she not worried about Sam because she didn't last like Carly had always predicted.
"Where's Carly and what have you done with her?" he jokes.
She sits up, and smiles at him.
"I aged her." She quips.
She sits forward to put her empty bottle on the table.
"Carly?"
"Yeah?" she looks back at him
"When I… died, were Sam and I still together?"
He can see her mind going at lightning speed.
How does she tell him that if you want to get technical, they themselves were together at the time. Even if they couldn't be, the feelings couldn't just be erased.
"I know when you're lying so you might as well tell me the truth."
She pulls a face.
"Fine. No.. You weren't… but you were when we thought you died the first time. I think you both just changed too much to make it work a second time…" she answers, truthfully. As long as he doesn't ask if he was with someone, they should be fine. But Jason's mind doesn't work in what ifs, so she should be safe.
Jason just looks at her, looking somewhat surprised.
"What? Did you expect me to tell you how she screwed you over and how horrible she was?"
"That would be what you would normally say."
Carly shrugs.
"We bonded when we thought we had lost you. I got to know Sam. We became friends. I mean she did do some horrible things through the years, but, you know me, I'm no saint either."
It's a week later, when Carly's new doorbell rings.
She opens the door with a flourish.
"And? What do you think?" she asks Jason as he and Sam enter her new home.
"I'm glad you found a place you can call home." He answers. Carly rolls her eyes.
"I know you have never cared about houses and surroundings, but just fake it. Tell me it's beautiful."
"It's beautiful." He deadpans.
"Thank you." She rolls her eyes, then faces Sam.
"What do you think?"
"Me?" Sam asks, surprised.
"I need a female with an actual opinion's perspective." Carly shrugs.
"It's nice. Homey."
"Thank you." Carly says pointedly, glaring at Jason.
"Have a seat."
Carly heads over to the kitchen of the house that will probably never be her and Jax's now, and gets them each a beer from the fridge.
"I'm not telling Alexis." She hears the tail end of a conversation as she gets into the lounge.
"You should." Carly answers.
"Oh my God, you told her!" Sam accuses Jason.
Carly realizes her mistake. The last time she saw the file and confronted Sam about it. This time she hadn't just fallen in and found the file.
She looks over at Jason in a panic.
"I could hear you from the kitchen." She lies. "Besides, I have been there. The sooner you tell her, the sooner you can start building a real relationship. Hello, it's me, I would know. Been there, done that."
"I don't think I want to be discussing this with you."
Carly sits down.
"Well, since I know already, I'm the perfect person to discuss it with."
When Sam is still staring at her suspiciously, Carly sits down, and puts her serious face on.
"Sam, I'm not going to tell your secret, it's not mine to tell but… I have made my share of mistakes. My advice comes with experience. She's going to find out at some point. Either way, it's gonna be rocky. You're gonna fight. But you will bond, and you will build a relationship and the love will come, no matter how you feel about her now or she feels about you."
Sam looks shocked at how genuine Carly is talking to her.
Carly is lost in thought as she thinks back to how things worked out between Sam and Alexis, trying to think if she can give better advice. She can't be more specific so "they will fight" is about as much as she can say without sounding like she knows too much. It just sounds so… generic.
Sam recovers first and tries to make a joke.
"Any other advice, oh wise one?"
"Um…" Carly starts, she can think of something, or someone, but she tries to make it sound like a joke, "Well, not sleeping with your mother's husband will also help."
Sam pulls a face.
"Yeah, I think on that one I'll rather learn from your mistakes."
Carly isn't too sure if it's supposed to be catty or a genuine taking of her advice, so just gives an awkward chuckle.
Jason frowns. He could be reading this wrong, but he thinks Carly wasn't talking about Dr. Jones.
He clears his throat.
"So, has Michael and Morgan seen the house yet?"
Carly feels grateful for the change of subject, and for once, Sam is on the same page.
"Nope." She answers, "the decorator is coming through tomorrow morning to help me with the boys' rooms. I want to have it ready by the weekend so they can come stay."
There is a longing in her voice that Jason picks up immediately. Since Carly left Sonny's home so abruptly, she hasn't been back. When he questioned her about it, she said she is worried Sonny will notice a change in her. He can't blame her, the change is getting starker every day, and he isn't sure how he feels about it. He wanted her to be more independent, he wanted her to be more serious, sure of herself, mature… and now he got it. And he misses her crazy drama and her barging into the penthouse at all hours. He misses feeling like her life was his life.
After they had left, and Carly has some time to think over the conversation and berate herself over her blunder by revealing she know Alexis is Sam's mother, she realizes two things:
Firstly, because she had told Jason about Sam getting shot, he had backed off Sonny and Emily, and since that is what caused the initial rift that led to Sam sleeping with Ric, that will probably never happen. Secondly, she realized that Jason has been keeping her secret, even though they never spoke about it. Although, she can't imagine anyone believing it, it still warms her heart that he instinctively followed her lead.
She has also noticed that he hasn't given her the "fine, I'll indulge you" face since that day in the car. It almost feels like having her Jason back.
It's almost two months later and Carly is enjoying a cozy movie evening with her boys at home. Netflix is still several years off, and she quite enjoyed the novelty of driving the boys down to go rent some movies.
With a boy curled up under each of her arms, she is spending a lot of time thinking and grateful for the time she can relive with them while not really concentrating on the newly released movie she had seen a few times before.
She is surprised that, even though this house should be reminding her of the times she and Jax had spent having movie night with the boys, she doesn't miss him. He was such a large part of her life but it's like it never happened. Jax blackmailing Michael and then trying to have her incriminate herself before disappearing back to Australia have taken the last bit of sentimentality about him away for her.
She misses Jason though. The sad part is that she has had the highest highs and the lowest lows since she ended up back here. The highest highs when she is spending time with him, being able to look in his eyes, hear his voice, randomly touch him, even just on the arm or shoulder just to keep confirming he is real, which he clearly had gotten used to. And the lowest lows when she is away from him feeling the familiar ache and longing that started when he left for Crete and never came back. It's like he is still dead and yet not. She spends countless hours reliving the last year of his life. His love and support when Sonny disappeared and the total euphoria of their wedding day, as short as it had been.
With surprise she realizes that the movie is over when the music starts playing and the credits are rolling. The boys are both fast asleep, snuggled tightly against her. At first, she doesn't want to move, just enjoying the little bodies tucked up against her, calmly breathing with childish innocence. Eventually she pulls one arm free and switches off the TV and DVD player with the remote. The storm outside sounds suddenly angry and loud with the TV silent. Barely a few seconds later the lights flicker before going out completely.
A Blackout? It's been years since a black out in Port Charles. And then it dawns on her what night it is, and she feels nervous and guilty all at the same time.
Should she have told Jason? But then, it likely won't happen since Sam should be in a better place. But what about Jake? It's one thing for her to give up Josslyn (although in the back of her mind she is still kind of hoping for some kind of miracle purely because she cannot believe that her beautiful daughter won't exist) but she cannot make that decision for someone else.
She takes her time taking the boys upstairs, one by one, tucking them in. When she is done, after changing into her nightdress and matching silk nightgown, paired with fuzzy slippers that looks ridiculous next to her high-end elegant pajamas, she makes her way downstairs to make sure the DVD player and television is unplugged, not just to protect them from a power surge when the power comes back, but also so she doesn't have a rude awakening in the morning hours when they are bound to blare loudly through the house.
She unplugs both appliances before making her way to the stairs. She starts with a fright, her heart in her throat just as her foot reaches the bottom stair and the front door swings open. Jason, looking wild and wet from the storm outside.
Before she even has time to react, he notices her, leaving the door to close on its own from the wind outside.
"Did you know?" he growls out.
Carly finds herself staring at him, confused and panicked.
"How… why… I don't understand… it wasn't supposed to happen this time… I mean…" then she collects herself, "What exactly happened?" she switches gears.
"You knew." Jason accuses.
"OK, wait, something happened tonight, and I set things in motion to prevent it, so before I tell you what happened the first time around, first tell me what happened tonight, cause we could be talking about two completely different things here." Carly answers.
"Dammit Carly, can I please have my best friend back, the one that doesn't constantly think things through with so much logic!?" Jason screams out in frustration.
"Ssh!" Carly interrupts him, "The boys are asleep."
Jason deflates, then falls down on her couch like his legs had given out on him, leaning forward, his head in his hands.
Carly sits down across from him, on the coffee table, where he would normally be when she is having a breakdown on the couch.
"If the same thing happened, you shouldn't be here." Carly answers him, sadly, "It's one thing for me to lose out on Joss, you shouldn't lose out too…"
Jason lifts his head out of his hands to look up at her.
"I'm sorry Jase. Me being here has changed everything about our lives."
In silence they stare at each other for a few seconds.
"You knew." Jason accuses again, this time in almost a whisper.
"Maybe.' Carly answers, "What happened?"
Jason stares at her for a few seconds before finding his voice.
"Sam and Ric."
Carly looks down.
"I knew." She answers quietly. "I thought since Sam didn't get shot this time around… I mean, things were way better between you two and way better between her and Alexis and… I don't understand how… " Carly trails off, "I'm sorry, I still should have told you."
Jason is quiet for a few minutes. Carly not getting defensive, not giving him any kind of target for his anger and hurt has taken away much of his ire. She was right. Her being there had changed their lives, but he is intellectually incapable of imagining anything other than what he is living. He does however have a very good memory to retain memories of things that do happen, and being able to think more clearly again, suddenly he realizes exactly what Carly said.
"What do you mean that I shouldn't lose out too like you are losing Joss?"
"You shouldn't be here, Jase, you should be home. Maybe, if you go now…"
"Carly?!" Jason interrupts.
"After you saw… that… you went home and… Elizabeth had seen something similar, with Lucky and she ran to you…" Carly stops, not knowing how to continue… "You… made a son, Jase. You coming here… he may never be born now."
When Jason doesn't answer, she looks up to find him staring at her. Confusion, pain, sadness alternating in his eyes, repeatedly.
Only when she grabs his hand and squeezes it, does he speak.
"Are you really telling me to go home and wait around to… have sex with Elizabeth?!" he sounds both confused and hurt.
Carly opens her mouth to answer, not even knowing what she's going to say before Jason interrupts her.
"What happened to us?"
Carly has no idea exactly what he is asking as she stares at him. Does he mean it literally as in "tell me the future?" or as in with their relationship, who they ended up being to each other.
Jason sees confusion on Carly's face as if she really isn't understanding his question. She decides that with Jason's usually unemotional reasoning he must mean that we wants to know the future.
"I… wouldn't know where to start Jase… I know you… don't do what ifs, but I can tell you about your kids, if you want, I don't know, I…. just being here somehow without meaning to, I've already messed up…" Carly's confusion has turned to sadness and she's rambling as thoughts run through her mind. Jake, and the fights they had, the lies, the secrets, Jake's death, or at least what they thought were his death, Jason coming back and bonding with his sons… Will Danny even exist now?
Jason feels a deep disconnect to everything Carly is saying. If it hasn't happened, he cannot feel anyway about any of it. All he needs to know is where he and Carly stood at the end of his life. The way she is pushing him into all these different directions.. towards Sam, now suddenly Elizabeth, a development that he hadn't seen coming at all… the sudden realization that somewhere along the line it seems like him and Carly's lives became distinctly separate has left him reeling, like he has lost the foundation to his reality.
When Carly looks up at Jason, it is to find him staring into space, fear and pain etched on his features.
She sits forward, grabbing both of his hands this time.
"Jase, I'm so sorry, I've cost you your son… maybe even the other one, just being here…"
She feels confused when he looks surprised.
"Carly, I don't… I can't… care about… I can't even imagine… a… son that I've never known." Jason stutters, the words feel like a betrayal to some unknown person that doesn't exist. He looks down at his hands, firmly gripped in Carly's. This, here, this is what he can care about, can imagine, and the thought of a life where he and Carly is somewhere in the outer fringes of each other's lives is somehow both imaginable and fearsome in a way that he's never known. He had spent months trying to carve a life just separate enough from her to be his own, but in the comfort of knowing that the boundaries he is setting is necessary because she will forever be pushing against them, staying closer than anyone else would appreciate but him. Insecurity has slowly permeated his existence in the past few weeks of no Carly barging into his place, the sudden now familiar sound of her respectful knock when she does drop by and the distance of her silences as she spends more time thinking and less time doing. It is hitting him with an intense fear as this new reality, that he thought he had taken in his stride and accepted, sinks in for real. This change in Carly isn't temporary.
He looks back up into her eyes, and repeats his question, his voice strained.
"What happened to us?"
Carly feels even more confused. He is clearly asking about them, where they ended up. Did she give something away? Is she too familiar? Is she touching him too much? Is that even possible? She had always been very tactile with him.
"What do you mean?" she asks, evasively, standing up to walk over to the fireplace. She is starting to feel the cold as her nerves tense, worrying about how she could have been giving herself away.
The sudden loss of her touch leaves Jason feeling even more lost. Carly has always had a way of making him feel all tied up in knots, but he has always been able to reason his way back to logic. This situation, all the unanswered questions, the fact that she had been pulling away from him for weeks and the draining evening he has had leaves him without the ability to reason himself back to a place where he can blindly assume that they will be okay. Carly listed all the reasons that lead to Sam ending up with Ric the first time… but only he knows the reason it happened this time. This time, it's all on him. He knows the more he felt like Carly is pulling away from him, he found himself isolating from others. From Sonny, from Emily, not that they really noticed, they're just grateful he is doing his job without getting personal, but also from Sam. And Sam noticed, Sam commented, Sam fought and he? He dismissed it. He dismissed it because he couldn't give her answers or reasons or fix it. He looks over at Carly, striking a match to light the fireplace and it dawns on him. He dismissed it because he couldn't be honest with Sam, the same way Carly has been dismissing his questions for weeks. All her answers were about someone in their lives, never about them.
Jason has never been good with words, but somehow, he needs to get answers from Carly. She has to know that knowing, no matter how bad, is better than not knowing. He has heard those words before, and yet it is the first time he understands them.
Carly starts as Jason suddenly joins her, sitting on the floor.
"What did I do?" he asks.
"What?" Carly asks, surprised.
"What did I do?" Jason asks again, "Did I hurt you? Did I betray you? Just tell me what I did?"
"You… what do you mean?" Carly answer-asks confused, then he knows he said something very wrong as her face goes from confused, to shocked to angry and hurt, "Seriously?! Do you think I WANTED this to happen? I didn't tell you about Sam and that Jackass because I thought I had prevented it! You think this is some kind of stupid revenge plot?!" She jumps up, pent-up frustration boiling over.
The fact that she had so completely misunderstood him, has him seeing red, jumping up as well.
"Will you forget about Sam! This is about you. And me. And this." Jason points at Carly and then back to himself, "What did I do? Why don't you trust me anymore? You barely talk to me. You don't need me anymore. There is this distance between us." Jason tries to put into words, but he has never been good with words, "What did I do?"
Carly is just staring at him, trying to find a way to answer him, eventually she just shrugs, then looks sad.
"Nothing. It's not you. I…" Carly swallows as tears threaten, "You were always there for me." She grabs his hand in both of hers, "my rock, my… but you're… not him." She sniffs, tears spilling over "I'm not making any sense, but your… not him, you're not my Jason."
Jason stares at her then answers, his voice sounding rough.
"But I will be. You're not my Carly. You have grown and changed and I'm still catching up, but you're the only Carly I have and I'm losing you."
As he says the words, voicing the feelings he didn't even knew he had, his eyes start stinging suspiciously. It feels like his throat is closing up.
Carly is shaking her head, unable to answer as the tears are streaming down her cheeks.
'No…" she finally gets out, 'No… You could never lose me."
Before she knows what is happening she finds herself crushed against his chest, her face buried in the crook of his neck as he is hugging her so close it feels like that time when he came back from Russia and all they wanted to do was hold on to each other, make sure the other is real.
"Mom? Are you okay?" they suddenly hear Michael from the stairs.
Slowly Carly stands back, wiping her tears.
"Yeah, yeah, I'm okay. Just crying on uncle Jason's shoulder as usual." She tries to joke.
With a start the lamp next to the couch lights up, followed by a buzzing from the kitchen as the fridge springs to life.
"How about I make us some hot chocolate?" Carly offers.
"Are you happy now?" Carly looks up from the Purchase order she had been receiving to look into Sam's sneering face.
"What?"
Sam pushes onto the bar, leaning forward to get closer to Carly's face.
"Are you happy now?"
"I take it Jason hasn't forgiven you yet?" Carly asks.
"You're just loving this, aren't you? What did you do Carly? We were happy and suddenly everything changed. You started acting weird and somehow you dragged Jason into whatever mess you have going on again."
Carly is starting to remember why she and Sam used to not get along. She cocks her head to one side, pulls up one eyebrow.
"Sam, what part of not sleeping with your mother's husband did you not understand?"
"Oh, you're just loving this aren't you?"
"No, actually, I'm not, you hurt my best friend, and despite that, he's going to forgive you, 'cause that is who Jason is, but he is still going to have to live with what you did. Now, can I please finish this? Michael has a soccer game I need to get to."
Carly answers her, then carries on with her work. With satisfaction she hears Sam stomping off. Slowly, she shakes her head. She may have done some growing up, but she can't wait until Sam catches up.
Carly watches in satisfaction as Michael runs circles around the other team.
"Can you please stop giving Sam ideas?" Jason startles her, as he sits down next to her on the bleachers.
"You came all the way here to fight with me?" Carly answers.
"And to watch our boy win." Jason shrugs.
"She came to me, you know."
"And you told her I'll forgive her, because that is who I am."
Carly shrugs.
"It is." She answers.
"Just because I did it before doesn't mean I'll do it now."
"You already lost out on one son Jase." Carly answers, softly.
"You can't lose something you never had." He answers.
He starts when Carly spins around.
"You can't, but I can, Jase. I loved those boys like they were my own. The same way you love Michael and Morgan and Joss and…" she trails off, feeling like the air is being pushed from her lungs.
"Hey…" Jason gently reminds her to come back to the present.
"I had another girl. Her name was Donna. She was only 2 years old. I was worried, when I found out I was pregnant with her… because of my age you know… she was the sweetest little girl," she chuckles, lost in memories of feeding time with Jason, "and she really, really loved her peas…" she continues, wistfully, scrunching up her nose.
Jason chuckles.
'Well, she definitely didn't get that from you." He chuckles.
"Nah, she got that from you." Carly laughs, then jumps up to cheer as Michael gets a goal. He turns around, jumping up and down, his teammates chanting his name. Carly is positively glowing as she watches her boy beam across the field. Jason is frozen in his seat.
He knows she could have just meant it as in he taught Donna about peas, or he gave it to her once and she liked it, but something about the way Carly said it has his non-existent imagination feeling very much in existence. He shakes himself, and when she turns back to him, he has his poker face back.
"This is what I want for him, you know, not a coma and 2 years of his life gone followed by prison. I'm just not sure how we are going to get there."
"We'll get there." Jason reassures her.
Jason enters the Metro court elevator, wondering if Olivia is pulling his leg. Why would Carly be on the roof?
When the doors open, he heads out into the partial building and see the door at the far end standing open. He heads over, then stops just inside the door. Carly is standing next to the fenced ledge. She has a cocktail standing on the half wall in front of her, and she's staring out over the city towards the docks.
With the sunset bathing her in its orange light, she looks almost ethereal as she dreamily stares over the city. Jason curbs the pang in his heart as he looks at her. This isn't new or strange but every time it happens, it takes him by surprise. He steels himself before he heads over to her. When he gets closer, he notices tears glistening on her cheeks.
"Hey." He calls softly as he approaches.
Carly starts, as if she had been caught, lifts her hands quickly to dry her cheeks and accidentally bumps the glass over the edge. Shocked she looks over to watch it crash on the sidewalk, then pulls a face, ducking back.
"Sorry."
Carly waves her hand.
"It's fine, you can buy me another one." She quips.
"What's wrong?" Jason asks.
"Nothing."
"Carly?!"
"Nothing, really, just… memories."
"Happy ones or sad ones?"
Carly chuckles, almost as if nervous that she got caught.
"Happy ones…" she sobers, "though sad that they probably won't ever be real."
"Wanna tell me about it?"
Carly looks stricken for a moment, then shrugs.
"Wedding anniversary."
Jason still looks at her expectantly, waiting for more information.
She reaches over and puts her arms around him. Without thought, his arms do the same.
'You're here though, and your alive. Nothing else matters." She answers, before pulling back.
"Come on, you owe me a cocktail." She answers, as she starts pulling him after her…
Jason can't decide what exactly it is that he is feeling. She reached out to him, hugged him, expressed how much he means to her and yet, she's keeping secrets and being evasive. Even with her hand in his, he feels a distance that is disconcerting. Will it always be like this now?
They get in the elevator, and Carly punches in the ground floor button.
"I thought we're heading to the bar?" Jason asks.
Carly looks at him. The strange melancholy, sad look in her eyes belying the smile she wears.
"We are. But not my bar. Jake's." she answers, then stays quiet for a while.
"It doesn't exist anymore. In 2022. It was sold, became the floating rib… Then it got blown up. Last year ELQ bought it, built a bank." Carly states matter-of-factly, the lack of emotion in her voice saying more about her emotions than she realizes.
"Why did it get blown up?"
"Mob war. You were the target." Carly answers, stone-faced.
"Wait…" Jason starts.
"No… that's not when." Carly answers.
Clearly something else of significance happened there but Carly is clearly not talking. Jason keeps wondering if he is going to spend the rest of his life having to guess at what happened in Carly's past, well, future.
She'll talk when she's ready.
He wishes that he still believed that.
Jason pulls an angry face. The joy in his eyes exposing the lie that it is as he digs around in his jean pocket to gently place a quarter in Carly's outstretched hand.
"Nice doing business with ya." She answers.
Jason watches as she sashays over to the jukebox, feeling surprised when she stares at it much longer than she usually did. She sighs, looking sad again, then the familiar cords fill the bar. When she puts her arms around him and start swaying, she drops her head onto his shoulder and he knows that she is hiding her face from him. For once he doesn't put on a show, pretending not to like to dance, they both know he does, when it's with her.
"I wish I could do or say something to fix it." He whispers, knowing her ear is close enough to his mouth to hear him over the music and bustle of Jake's.
"You can't fix this one, Jase."
They sway a bit more.
It hurts. Its ridiculous. It's not his life, his memories, it is hers to carry and yet, somewhere deep inside him, he hates the man that has her this affected. If she hadn't told him that she and Sonny were on the outs and Michael and Sonny aren't speaking, he would have assumed that it had something to do with Sonny, but this level of quiet pining, he has never seen from Carly.
"I'm sorry you're hurting." He whispers, "Tell me about… him." Why did he ask that?
They keep swaying, he waits for an answer. Carly decides how much she can say. Would he figure out that she is describing him?
She chooses her words carefully, trying to be honest and vague all at once.
"He knew me, the good and the bad, and he accepted me." She starts, slowly basking in her memories and the feeling of being in his arms, "he treated me as an equal, trusted my judgement, protected me, made… made me feel special. He loved me…"her voice was getting so soft, he was straining to hear, "… no matter what."
They were still swaying, but the song was over. He didn't feel the need to point it out. This man treated her as an equal, trusted her judgement. It suddenly dawned on him that that man turned her into the fiercely independent, thinking instead of doing Carly, just by standing by her. Inside him is a sharp pain and he is able to identify it. Jealousy. He is jealous of some unknown person who may not even be a part of her life yet. And at the same time, he wants her to be happy. He would go fetch that man now if it meant seeing her glowing with joy.
She stops swaying. Pulls back, gives an embarrassed laugh.
"Why didn't you tell me the music stopped?"
Jason shrugs, then takes both of his hands to wipe her cheeks, before enveloping her in a hug.
He whispers into her hair. "Happy anniversary."
Everything inside Carly freezes. Did he figure it out?
"I'm sorry you're stuck here." He adds.
Nope. Carly isn't sure if she feels relieved or disappointed.
"Well, what do you know! Carly-babes finally got what she always wanted."
They both spin around to find Sam in a confrontational stance a few feet away.
Jason bites back his irritation. Carly is not in a good place, and that can mean only one thing. She is going to come out swinging.
He's surprised when she grabs her beer and downs the last bit of it, then grabs her jacket.
"Bye Sam." Is all she says as she makes her way towards the exit.
"I'm not done with you!" Sam calls after her, starting to follow.
Jason pulls her back by the arm.
"Yes, you are. You messed up, don't put that on Carly."
Sam angrily pulls her arm back.
"You're right. This is on you. Why did you even drag me into this thing you have for Carly? Cause that's what it's like, you know, dating Jason Morgan is like dating both of you." She sneers before stomping off.
When he gets outside Carly is already in the car.
"That was quick." She looks surprised when he gets in.
"I've already said what I wanted say." He shrugs.
"She grew up, you know, eventually, same as me." Carly tells him, "we lost you, we didn't have a choice. And then, like a miracle, you were back, for almost 4 years, we had you back. We were friends then. Real friends, not just friendly."
"You said Sam and I grew apart then?" Jason asks. He feels confused. The time Carly is talking about should be more than 10 years from now, and yet, it feels like he and Sam had already grown apart.
"Yeah. You wanted different things. The bombing at the Floating Rib…"
"Jake's."
"Yeah… it rattled Sam. She wanted her kids safe, didn't want the shadow of the mob hanging over their lives. We… for a moment… we thought we lost you… when you walked up to me in that alley… I was so happy… didn't realize a year later…"
Jason can see the pain in her eyes. He doesn't need to ask.
"Thanks for tonight, Jase."
"We can do it again next year if you want." He offers, then checks his phone. "September 17th." He looks up.
Carly smiles, sadly.
"It's a date."
"You were right." Jason announces as he takes a seat by the bar.
"Off course I was." Carly answers. "About what?"
"Sonny, Emily, bipolar."
"You'll have a much easier time with him once he is on his meds." Carly shrugs. "Emily too." She adds.
"Emily's out… Back with Nicholas."
"Good. And we have to keep it that way."
"We?"
Carly pushes a notepad over to Jason.
"What's this?"
"I've made a list, of things to prevent and what happened and suggestions on how to avoid it. It was super messy as I remembered stuff… I think its all there. I rewrote it chronologically. Obviously, some things may not happen anymore but…"
Jason moves to open the book. Carly stops him.
"Brace yourself." She says, quietly.
"I'll be fine." He answers, reflexively.
"Yeah, and it's me you're talking to."
Jason's phone rings.
"Morgan?"
"What took you so long to phone me back Spinelli?"
Carly stifles a laugh as Jason rolls his eyes. Even though she cannot hear what Spinelli is saying, she can hear the baritone of his voice waxing lyrically on the other end.
"Can you take a break from all your teenage drama and run a search for me?" Jason barks into the phone, exasperated.
"I need everything you can find on a C Renault."
Carly freezes.
When Jason hangs up, he notices the stricken look on her face.
"What's wrong?"
"The timeline. Dead wrong."
Jason frowns.
"How?"
"Please tell me Cyrus Renault is still in prison."
"Carly? What do you know about him?" Jason looks alarmed.
"You have to find Taggart."
"I'm not in the business of finding cops that have left town."
"Then we have to kill Cyrus. And I mean it, Jase, no playing, no negotiating."
"We?" Jason echoes again.
Carly looks around, looking uncomfortable.
"Can we go to my office?"
Jason has an uncomfortable feeling that his life is about to change. Carly keeps on saying "we". He doesn't want her involved in the business, he never did.
He rubs his temples as they make their way up to her office. It is as if his tension headache intensifies when they get off the elevator.
Once they reach Carly's office, she closes the door and locks it. She can see the tension in Jason's jaw.
"Why are you looking for info on Cyrus?"
Jason looks undecided, then takes out a piece of paper. It's an email. He hands it over to Carly.
"Let me handle it. Stay out of it." He says while she unfolds it.
Its from an anonymous Hotmail address.
"Ten years from now the Corinthos organization will be a footnote in history.
I don't forget. I don't forgive. And I remember what cannot be remembered.
If you understand this, my satisfaction is guaranteed.
If not, my vindication is guaranteed.
I keep my promises, at all times.
C. Renault"
Carly looks up.
"I can't stay out of it."
"Carly…"
"It's me he wants. I'm the reason he is coming after the organization.I remember what cannot be remembered?! Jason, he's from 2022. I'll bet my life on it."
"Why would he associate you with the organization?" Jason asks, confused.
Carly sits down, sighs, searches for where to start.
"When Cyrus came on the scene… I was married to Sonny. Things escalated, and he decided to take you out. He got Sam's father to bomb the Floating Rib. You and Sonny found out, and followed Julian, that's Sam's dad, hoping he would identify Cyrus as the man who ordered the hit. There was a shootout and Julian got hit. You were detained with the police and Sonny went after Julian… They were on a bridge and it collapsed. Sonny was missing, presumed dead. The police couldn't find him, our people couldn't find him… and you had to take over. The meeting with the five families were set. And then Cyrus framed you for murder. I arranged for you to escape. I had you stabbed in prison and arranged for you to go to GH. You escaped from there, but you realized one of the Doctor's were in trouble with Cyrus' guys and you went back in to save her and got shot. The good thing is that she was with us, so she gave you my blood and stitched you up but… I had to go to the meeting in your place. It… it was… like a chess game, you know? Cyrus wanted Sonny's seat at the table. I arranged for one of Cyrus's shipments to get blown up, and managed to get Sonny's seat. You were on the run and I had to run the organization. I managed to get the witness to recant and clear your name, implicating Cyrus and… the guy that committed the actual murder. I brokered a deal with the feds for immunity for some of the stuff that Cyrus had on you and Sonny. Cyrus was livid. He said that if you didn't get rid of me that the other families will see you as weak..." Carly pauses. She chooses her words wisely. If she tells him they got married, he would know her tears from the other night were over him…
Jason frowns. He knows when Carly is skirting the truth.
"From prison he got Buchema and Novak to put a hit on us, Mrs. Wu tipped you off and you had the bomb switched to their limo instead. We… got the better of him and he hates losing. He was still plotting when I ended up back here."
"What did you leave out?"
Carly looks up, pain in her eyes.
"Anything that isn't directly relevant." She answers.
Jason grits his teeth. If she lied, he could call her on it, but with that answer he has nothing. He feels the distance again. She used to tell him everything.
"First I need to know where he is." He states, changing the subject back to their most immediate problem.
"Keep me in the loop, Jase, you'll need me on this. And I promise, I won't go rogue. I've taken him on before. And I did it your way. You said, don't think about what can go right, think of everything that can go wrong. I get it now."
He hates this. His worst nightmare is Carly in danger. He hates the mere thought that she had to learn these lessons and change so fundamentally in the way she does things. He was wrong, it wasn't that future love of hers that changed her, it was life, this, the business.
"I hate the thought of you involved in this." The words slip out. He waits for Carly to start railing at him, about shutting her out and not trusting her. It doesn't come. Instead she reaches over for his hand and looks up at him.
"I know."
"Did you find the problem with the shipment?" Sonny asks, walking into his office, Jason at his desk.
Jason gets up, rounding the desk in the one side while Sonny rounds from the other side and sits down.
"It'll be in tomorrow morning. They had to stop to get one of the engines fixed." Jason answers, pulling on his jacket and shoving his gun into his pants. Just as he is about to pocket his phone it rings. Noting the caller id, he answers.
"Spinelli?"
"What?"
"See what else you can find out."
He makes another call.
"Max? Double our security. And I want you and Milo on Carly and the kids."
"What's happened?" Sonny asks.
"That threat we received? The guy has escaped from prison."
"I don't understand. What does he want with us?"
"Our territory." Jason answers, abruptly.
"Seemed a bit personal on the email." Sonny frowns.
Jason can already see Carly's entire secret coming out.
He shrugs.
"From what I gather that's his style." He answers, non-committing.
"I have to go." He announces.
"We have to talk strategy…" Sonny starts but finds himself talking to a slamming door.
Something is wrong. Jason knows it. He can feel it in his gut.
According to the front desk, Carly had gone home after a phone call.
He dials Carly again. No answer.
He has to get to her.
"You know, Mrs. what do you call yourself these days…? Miss. Spencer is it? I was quite amused by that actually. Had no idea about the family connection." Cyrus Renault drawls on, quite content at Carly's kitchen table, gun drawn and held at her, almost casually on top of the table. Carly wiggles her tied wrists behind her, glowering at him.
"Fragile as it might be." He adds, referring to her relation to Laura's ex husband.
"What makes you think you will get away with this?"
"Oh, a great many things." Cyrus answers. "I have done my homework. I'm fully aware of everything going on in this time."
"You sound like a crazy man."
"Drop the pretense, Blondie, you recognized me. I would love to know how you got here. Victor Casadine is an ignorant fool. He had no idea what device he was wielding." He pauses and then when Carly refuses to answer, he continues.
"You must have been here for months already. I managed to get my hand on that device almost 6 months ago, and you haven't been around since before then. Off in Crete, trying to locate Mr. Morgan I believe. At least, that is what was texted to your family. Does that bug you, Mrs. Morgan? Knowing that no-one even knows you are missing?"
Carly flinches at the name. It hurts that it's not true, wasn't true and yet it's the truest thing she had ever felt.
"What's wrong, don't like it when I call you that? Suppose it wasn't much of a marriage with old Pa Corinthos showing back up."
"Why are you here? I'm not a part of the organization. This does nothing to further your gain."
"You destroyed me. Now I will destroy you, and in doing so, I will destroy Morgan. And with Morgan off his game its just a matter of time before I can get rid of him too. That just leaves Sonny. And unlike you two, he is reasonable. He can make a deal."
Carly can't help the humorless laugh that fall from her lips.
"Only a crazy man like you would call Sonny the reasonable one."
"Now that's not very nice. You don't seem to understand how this works, You're supposed to be nice to the man holding the gun."
"Why?" Carly asks. She has nothing left to do but keep him talking and pray for a miracle. "Are you going to let me live if I ask nicely?" Sarcasm is dripping from her voice.
"Well, okay, you got me there." Cyrus relents with a smile.
"I think it's time we get this show on the road. I still need some time to stage your final performance before I sent Morgan down here."
Cyrus lifts the gun, walks closer to Carly.
"Now, I'd like you to look pretty and recognizable for your performance. A shot to the head might not get that affect… but it is so effective… Throat is effective too though…" Carly glowers at him while he strokes the gun over her face, first her temples then moving down to her throat. "That would keep your pretty face in-tact and make a lot more blood. And I would love to watch you suffocate slowly as you remember all the things you did to me." Carly pulls at the ties on her wrists. Up until that very moment she had still believed that some miracle would happen.
"Well, it was nice catching up again. It's so frustrating living in a world that is decades behind you. You're really the only one who can understand that. "He sighs, almost as if he regrets what he is about to do. "Goodbye, Mrs. Morgan."
Cyrus cocks the gun, Carly closes her eyes. The cold steel pushes into her throat. Inside her, she is mourning already. Her beautiful boys are on their own and Joss who will never be, Donna… and Jason made to find her, no doubt in the most gruesome way Cyrus can contrive of. Tears start streaming down her face. Pride be damned. What does it matter if she cries in front of Cyrus Renault? What would have been so bad about admitting to Jason that he was the man she married and missed and loved till the end?
A shot rings out, then another and a thud.
When Carly opens her eyes it is to see Jason in hit-man mode. Stone-cold and staring with menacing eyes at the body in front of him. Slowly, almost with relief, he puts his gun away. Then he looks up. When their eyes connect it is filled with deep gratitude and relief.
Slowly he crouches behind her, cuts the ties on her wrists, moves back in front of her. Without a word, he pulls her up into his arms, hugs her like he would never let her go again.
"I love you." Carly whispers, brokenly.
"I know." He answers. "I love you too."
They stand like that for a while longer, before Jason continues.
"I don't say it enough. And you've stopped asking to hear it." He laments, then accuses.
Carly pulls back to look at him.
"I can start dragging it out of you again if you want." She offers, pulling a face.
When he doesn't answer, she looks up. She can see the war being waged inside him.
Carly from this time would have tried to tip the scales in her favor somehow. She would have kissed him or tried to convince him why they are perfect together, she would have done something from seeing a speck of vulnerability. Carly sighs. If there is one thing she learned, it's Jason doesn't give in. He chooses to give in, and until he does, there is no swaying him.
So, she stands back, smiles at him, cradle his face and gives him a simple peck on the cheek.
"Thanks Jase, for saving me. Again."
Then she stands back, putting on her business face as she surveys the scene in her kitchen.
"So? Do we call the cops or a clean-up crew?"
"Carly?"
Carly looks down at Cyrus' body.
"Yeah?"
"Why didn't you tell me?"
Carly freezes. No, she ain't falling for that one.
"He had me tied up before I could do anything." She answers.
"Carly…" this time there is less of a question in his voice, he sounds tired.
Concerned she turns to him.
Before she can get a word out, she feels his lips burning on hers and thinking becomes difficult. Having his lips on hers feels like coming back to life. He deepens the kiss and she finds herself pushed up against the table. Hunger and shock and a deep sense of gratitude collide within her as tears start making its way across her cheek.
When he pulls back she can see pain and fear and love all fighting for dominance in his eyes.
"Why didn't you tell me?" he voice sounds raw.
Her voice sounds just as raw when she answers her own truth.
"You weren't ready to know."
She swallows, basking in the feel of his arms around her and his breathe mixing with hers. And yet still so scared to go there. She opened herself to loving him again and it ended with her mourning him, then coming back here, and being in it alone, again, like she told him she never wanted to be again. Every single time it gets ripped from them. Every time it's just within reach but when they reach out to it, disaster strikes. She's lost the ability to believe. It feels inevitable that they will crash and burn again.
"How much did you hear?"
"He called you… Mrs. Morgan. And he knew… what… losing you… would do to me."
When she stays quiet, not knowing where to start, his voice grows urgent.
"Carly, I need to know. Everything."
She looks up in his eyes. They're inches from her own. His usual stone-cold face is a mask of pain and uncertainty.
"I'll phone PCPD, get this taken care of, but you have to promise me. Tonight. I need to know everything."
She nods.
"I'll get my mom to take the boys tonight. Its probably better they don't come home until we've gotten the place cleaned up…"
They still stand like that for a few seconds, on the precipice of something. So close they are breathing each other's air. Finally, as if he finally found his off switch, Jason steps back and pulls out his phone to take care of business.
It is past five when they finally get out of the station. Jason's statement just that he walked in, saw Cyrus with his gun against Carly's throat, and heard him say "Good bye" to her, and he reacted and shot him. Carly followed that up with a carefully crafted tale about how Cyrus was targeting Sonny because of his "unfounded" reputation as a mob boss and came after his children and by extension their mother.
Taggart even made an appearance and begrudgingly told "Anger boy" that he provided a valuable service by getting rid of "that man".
Sonny fell in at the tale end, wining about not being told and wanting to know if the kids are okay.
Carly used the opportunity to tell him that she wants him to sign away his rights so that the mob world will believe he has washed his hands of them. Sonny refused.
After stopping for takeaways, they finally made it back to Carly's home.
Carly looks over at the kitchen. On the floor is the tape that was put around Cyrus' body to mark the spot, blood and finger print dust on almost every surface. Carly sighs, looks over at Jason and pulls the kitchen door shut.
"The cleaners will be here tomorrow morning." Jason offers.
"Yeah." Carly sigh, sitting down on the floor next to the coffee table, grabbing a slice of pizza.
Jason sits down next to her, grabs a slice and opens them each a beer.
"It's been a long day." Carly sighs, tired.
"I still want to know what happened."
Carly looks up into his earnest eyes, and suddenly telling him doesn't seem like such a big deal anymore. It's their story. Even if it will never happen.
"We thought Sonny was dead…" she starts, "but…" she looks confused as she thinks back,"…but something had changed long before then."
"What do you mean?"
"I… don't know. It isn't something specific that I can put my finger on. When you came back from Russia and I looked into your eyes, I just knew you were… you. And even though you were drugged for most of that time, something was different. Almost in the same way as… now. Jase… there were times where you… you tried to push me away and the more you pushed, the more I pushed back, but when you came back from Russia, you… didn't. You were just there. Every time something happened, even when Sonny thought I was going crazy or the world tried to tell me who I am, you were there telling me that I'm not, telling me to fight… It was as if you had suddenly accepted… me. As is, you know?"
Jason looks confused.
"I've always accepted you as you are."
"No, Jase, you didn't. When I suddenly came back here, I saw the way you reacted to me. And it was familiar but so far removed from where we came from. It felt like you were humoring me. As if I was an obligation you had to deal with."
"You have never been an obligation to me." Jason interrupts.
"I'm not saying I was, I said that is the way you acted. I don't know if it was just your way of trying to get some space, but that is what you did. I think maybe in Russia you had gotten enough space. For the first time in my life, I felt… secure. Which meant that I felt more willing to share and I decided your happiness is with Sam, so I pushed you to make it happen. And it did, but… something was different. Ignore me, I'm analyzing too much." Carly chuckles.
"Anyway, when we though Sonny had died, it was hard you know, we mourned together but at the same time everything was happening with the business and then… we got this idea to get married, as a show of unity. I was so scared. I knew I would just fall for you all over again. You picked up on my nerves, of course, and you kept telling me we'll be fine. On the morning of our wedding, I went to Jake's… at least the building site that used to be Jake's. You found me there. You said that we don't need to get married if I didn't want to… that our relationship was more important than the business. That you would find a way to take care of the threat."
"They wanted me to kill you." Jason fills in.
"Yeah, said I am a liability, that without spousal privilege I could be forced to testify against all of them, including you."
"I told you that I was scared. That I knew I would fall for you, again, and that I would then become angry and bitter and resentful because you didn't feel the same and I don't want that between us."
She stays quiet.
"Why would you think you would be falling alone?" Jason asks, confused.
Carly's head shoots up.
"That… that is exactly what you said." Carly's voice comes out in a whisper.
"We decided to make it a real marriage." Jason states, waiting for her to confirm.
"How did you know?"
"I know myself Carly." Jason answers, then fights the urge to back up. He made Carly tell him everything, he needs to push through and be brave too, "I could never marry you and not be your husband."
He looks down, feeling nervous, shy and over exposed.
"You said that the feelings were coming back. That the only way you could justify putting me first, was by not being in love with me…" Carly recounts the words forever etched into her memory.
"I… the wedding was… perfect. We were so happy. You promised to never… leave me" Carly tells him wistfully, "even Monica chased us off early to start our life together. It was the only night I have seen you smiling, constantly. The only time you looked serious was after the ceremony, before we went to the reception, when Buschema and Novak's limo blew up and Mrs. Wu came over to congratulate us."
"On the wedding or the bomb?" Jason asks, pulling a face.
Carly chuckles.
"Both."
She sobers.
"We got home. You told me you love me, we kissed…" tears start rolling down her cheeks, "and then Sonny showed up. And you stepped back." Her voice turns bitter "like you always do."
Woodenly, she recounts the rest.
"You said we would be okay, that we'll just go back to how things always were, that I'll always have you and you will always have me. Then you left and went to Crete, and your brother came home instead."
The room is quiet. Carly is lost in painful memories, tears streaming down her face. Jason is frozen, her words running through his mind on repeat. They got it together and he threw it away. No matter what her words are, that is what he heard. Stepping back for Sonny again, and leaving her to mourn him.
Some of the other things she had told him over the past few months starts adding themselves into the story. He stepped back, gave up everything and left her mourning while Sonny did something again, this time, so bad she has no desire to even see him in the present. Betrayed his family so bad that Michael isn't even talking to Sonny. And Carly was left to live through it, pick up the pieces… fix his mess that was truly unfixable.
His voice is hoarse as he tries to form words.
"Why don't you hate me?"
Carly looks at him surprised.
"You couldn't have known you would die."
"For throwing it all away." Jason clarifies.
"I firmly believe if you have lived, we would have figured it out Jase. It took us 25 years to get there, what would have been a little longer?" Carly asks, sadly. "Or I'm just an eternal optimist and really good at lying to myself." She adds flippantly, "It had gotten me this far." She shrugs.
She sighs then stretches.
"Well, that wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. I'm glad I told you. I don't like having secrets between us." Carly gets up to stretch out her legs, then looks over at Jason.
"Jase…" he looks up. "Are you okay? I mean I know you always say you are but I kind of dropped a bomb on you." Jason can see that Carly is trying very hard to lighten the mood. He gets up and walks over to her.
He looks haggard, like he had just returned from a full-fledged mob war. She opens her mouth to tell him that she has no expectations but never gets the chance as he pulls her in for a kiss fusing his lips to hers like he used to back in their Jake's days. When he finally pulls back, they are both out of breathe.
"I almost lost you today. I'm not missing out on a second of a life with you again."
He kisses her again. The shock having left her body, she relaxes into him, allowing their bodies to mold together.
"I'm sorry." He whispers against her lips, kisses her again.
She pulls back to cradle his face, lean her forehead against his…
"There is nothing to be sorry for." She whispers back, pressing her lips to his.
"Maybe I'm apologizing to myself." He follows that with a kiss.
"It hasn't happened yet, Jase." Carly reminds him gently as he rounds her to the couch pushes her down, chasing her lips with his.
"Now there's a thought that can make me smile…" Jason follows up his words with both a kiss and a smile, reminding her of how he smiled into their kisses, in front of their friends and family, the world.
When she throws her head back to look at him, she sees her Jason. The one who's eyes shine with joy.
"I missed you." She answers him before joining her lips onto his.
Epilogue
Jason stares quietly at the door in front of him, then presses the doorbell.
He can hear it ringing inside and the ensuing chaos that comes with it. Eventually the door swings open.
"Jason!" Monica gasps, surprised.
"Can I come in?"
Monica recovers.
"Um yeah, yeah…"she stammers, "Of course." She swings the door open further.
"Can I talk to you?" Jason asks, "And… Alan." The word dad seems to much at this point, but giving in to Carly had made him realize that most of his holding out is robbing him of the chance to appreciate the people in his life. Carly told him about Alan… no, his dad, dying and how it affected him.
"Alan!" Monica screams up the stairs, "Jason needs to talk to us." Jason suppresses a smile. Having to do that is a new bi-product of being with Carly that he quite enjoys. He can see Monica trying to keep her obvious excitement at bay. It used to annoy him how excited they got when he entered a room, but the past few weeks as Carly had been giving him all the details of the future, very often languishing in his arms, doing their strange version of pillow talk, has opened his eyes. And his heart.
Alan comes bounding down the stairs, trying to contain his glee.
"Jason!" he says jovially, then tones it down very obviously, "It's nice of you to drop by. What can we do for you?"
"Um…" none of his epiphanies has made him any less awkward, "Can we… go in there…?" he points to the drawing room… "If its empty." He adds, not in the mood to face the family. Yet.
"Oh, it's just Ned in there, he won't mind giving us some space." Monica answers.
They file in, and in true Quartermain fashion evict Ned to a different room.
"Ned? Jason needs to speak to us, can you give us some space?" Monica asks, though it sounds more like a command.
Ned pulls a face at her.
"Hey Jason!"
"Hi!"
Ned closes the door behind him.
The one thing Jason can count on is no awkwardness from Ned.
"So, Jason, what do you need to talk to us about?"
Jason stands awkwardly for a few seconds, then clears his throat, giving somewhat of an awkward smile.
"Um, I came to apologize, to both of you."
They both look at him confused.
"For the way I treated you… have been treating you." Jason looks down, "I get it now. All you did was love me."
Alan recovers first, though both still have tears in their eyes.
"What… I mean, I don't want to presume, but does this mean you'll.. give us chance to get to know you again?"
"I'd like to get to know you too." Jason answers, suddenly feeling insecure he adds, "If you still want to."
Monica sniffs.
"Can I hug you?" her voice is hopeful and fearful at the same time.
"Um… Okay." Jason answers. She puts her arms around him, and he finds himself relaxing somewhat as he does the same. His shocked to suddenly find Alan hugging them both, short and hard before stepping back.
"Too much? Yeah, that was too much. I'll contain myself." He asks and answers his own question.
Monica also steps back, just smiling at him.
"Come, sit down." She invites eagerly.
Jason sits down, looking somewhat uncomfortable.
"What… changed your mind?" Alan asks.
Jason looks up.
"Carly."
This time he doesn't suppress the smile.