Merry Christmas eve! Y'all are gonna hate me after this. You may or may not get a holiday chapter tomorrow. Do we want Christmas or New Years eve?
I placed my hand gently on his nose without looking up. It was becoming nearly mechanical to just read the words off the pages. However, I did not actually mind at all. At first I was using this reading to enhance my own knowledge of this place, but after a couple hours my brain couldn't take in anymore information. Not that I had only been reading since Gothmog left me here with Ancalagon. He was curious about me and we spoke about me as well as about him. Apparently, he was a direction creation of the dark god here. The one that Tar-Mairon and Gothmog served. He also spoke about creation coming from singing or music but chuffed at my puzzlement and closed his eyes when I asked if he would elaborate. Maybe I could threaten to sing people to death since no one knows where Haldamire and I came from. A funny thought if it actually worked.
Ancalagon let out a snort and cracked open an eye. I stopped reading and instead chose to glance up at him. Even with his head resting on the ground, his eye was still above my head.
"Is everything ok?" I asked timidly. He could be chatty all he wanted, but he was still terrifying. I had accomplished the conversation by avoiding looking at him and pretending I was talking to someone else.
"Gothmog approaches" he rumbled "in his natural form. I sense a storm of anger"
"Oh" I squeaked terrified wondering what had infuriated the temperamental balrog. It could have been anything, but I could get hurt from his fire no matter what angered him.
"Consider this payment for your reading" Ancalagon grumbled in his dark and deep dragon voice. I jumped and nearly screamed as he shifted around and appeared to almost flop. It shook look an earthquake had hit and I rolled backwards and slid trying, and failing, to maintain stability. He was settled now but the ground was still shaking and roiling.
"Why did you do that?" I questioned weakly managing to regain my balance and looking down at the scrapes on my arms and back from the earth forcibly moving me.
"When I rouse then the dark god comes or sends a power" he said closing his cat-eye slits and letting out rumbles deep in his chest. I froze trying to desperately search for explanations as to why he would do that. I struggled to form a question, or even a sentence, to try and get across my confusion and terror to him, but nothing came out except gasps. Gothmog was angry for whatever reason and his god may now come here. I closed my eyes and moved to stand up. I winced painfully realizing that I was going to have quite a bit bruising from my tussle with the ground.
I sighed hearing thunderous footsteps approaching. Ancalagon was correct in his assessment that Gothmog was approaching, but how he heard him so much earlier than I did was completely baffling. I could feel the heat of his fire and he wasn't even that close yet. He had to know that near proximity was enough to burn me. Especially after what happened earlier. I fingered my hair self-consciously. I shouldn't care because maybe that burned hair would keep him away from me, but I did care.
The heat was increasing and sweat dripped down my face. I swiped at the moisture over my eyes so they didn't sting from the salty sweat.
"So very fragile" Ancalagon rumbled and I looked up to see that he had opened an eye to observe me.
"I'm not more fragile than Haldamire or other people like me" I said defensively grimacing at how damp the hair at the back of my neck was.
"Fragile little children" He rumbled reiterating his earlier comment. His giant eye just appraised me. It was so large that I couldn't read any emotions in it. Or maybe he just didn't have emotions "Just be obedient and you may avoid more suffering". I scowled but didn't disagree with his advice.
"Are you obedient?" I asked sulkily as the heat seemed to turn up even higher and thudding steps sounded nearly next to us and the ground rumbled.
"I have the utmost loyalty to my creator." Ancalagon responded closing his great eye slowly "He comes" came in the barest whisper of noise across my ears, though I was pretty sure Gothmog could hear it as well. It was nearly scorching and so bright with flames that I had to close my eyes. The heat seemed to expand and burn my skin for the hint of second, but then it was greatly tempered down.
"Airawende" I opened my eyes slowly seeing the bright flames had greatly died down and Gothmog looked like his usual self around me except somehow much more deadly, maybe he was taller, and little bursts of fire were exploding in the air. He had more control over fire than I had expected. I hesitated for a second wondering if I was supposed to respond verbally before common sense, and Ancalagon's words, kicked in. I sank to my knees trying to push out my robes as much as possible to try and look calm and serene. I probably had terror written across my face, but I could not change that and bowed like how Tar-Mairon had taught us with my hands flat on the ground. I stayed where I was feeling extremely uncomfortable with the aches pushing through my body and still hating the extremely submissive posture.
"I have questions for you, little lamb" he said, and it took a lot of willpower for me not to jump out my skin in fright. He had somehow silent and quickly moved right in front of me. I could see his boots dangerously close If I looked up with just my eyes. It was uncomfortable to do that and would likely give me a headache, so I kept my eyes solely on the ground as my nose barely brushed it from my positioning. I swallowed wondering what he wanted to ask me and if I should respond. Was he going to let me up or ask his questions with me stuck like this? Who made him upset? I could probably literally choke them for pissing him off before he came to get me. Collateral damage is what I am.
I felt his burning hot skin touch mine as his fingers slid under my chin, very awkwardly from how I was bowing, and lifted my eyes to up to his. I barreled swallowed a squeak of terror at the malicious energy swirling in the deep red irises.
"Are you bonded to someone" he asked in a soft voice. It was so unlike him that I wanted to take off and flee as far as I could.
"b..bonded?" I asked trembling in confusion and fear. What is he talking about bonded?
"Have you married someone?" He asked staring me down and then tilted my face up higher "I don't see anything in your eyes." That last part sounded like he was talking to himself.
"uh no" I said feeling even more baffled and I think my confusion poured into my voice because his reaction was very unexpcted.
"no?" he said in a patronizing tone with fury underlining it "are you asking me or telling me, little one"
"I am not married now nor have I ever been and separated." I whispered and winced at the parched sounding words. Apparently, the heat had dried up all the moisture in my mouth and throat. I had not even noticed until now.
"Separated?" He asked frowning. I blinked at his question in puzzlement.
"You know, like married and then deciding not be married. I don't know the word in this language" I explained lamely, and his grip tightened almost to pain. "is that, uh, not done here?" I regretted the question as soon as it came out because it obviously didn't by his confusion. His eyes darkened and he seemed to be deeply considering my words.
"Your people do not bond or marry permanently" he said like he was baffled and irritated "yet you have not done either before." I tried to nod forgetting he had a very tight hold on my face.
"Who is this boyfriend Haldamire so kindly mentioned?" Gothmog said and my eyes widened in shock. Haldamire told him about my ex-boyfriend? No way she told him about Alex. She gave me advice to seduce him so she couldn't possibly have mentioned him.
"Who?" I said dumbly rapidly trying to think of a way to salvage the situation. Gothmog look furious at my response and released my face.
"How dare you lie to me, Airawende. I can see the recognition in your eyes" He grabbed my hand and brought it up between us. I gasped as his thumb pressed into palm painfully and splayed my fingers out. I was still on my knees when he had grabbed my hand and I could feel an ache in my shoulder from being pulled up so roughly, but at least he wasn't completely leaning over me like before. I started crying in dread and panic but didn't dare to try and pull away. I was vaguely aware of the bright orange and red eye bigger then me opened watching us, but couldn't really think on the fact Ancalagon was watching us like a television show.
"I didn't mean to. I don't understand the question" I sobbed trying to think of a way to lessen his fury "I mean I know who he is, but he is long gone."
"I will punish you for your attempted deception later, because clearly my discipline has been lacking, but now I want answers and I will have them whether you will it or not" Gothmog said and I screamed as he snapped my thumb.
"He isn't anyone important" I managed to choke out as terror nearly drowned out the agony in my hand.
"I thought, perhaps, Haldamire was mistaken about you having been intimate with someone when I didn't see a marriage bond in your eyes, but its clear to me that is not the case now. Not like the first children at all" He sounded incensed. I sobbed putting together the pieces in my mind. Somehow Haldamire had told him about me not being a virgin and he was angry. How could I stop this? Was he going to kill me? Was he going to rape me here and now?
"It wasn't… I didn't" words just escaped me without endings and without real meanings. I had to try and follow Haldamire's advice now or maybe he would kill me.
"What Airawene" Gothmog's grip pushed harder into my hand and I almost shouted at the pain rocking through my thumb.
"It was once" I shouted tears dripping down my face at the pain and fear encompassing me "but I, I just" I stopped the rambling and forced myself to take the pain this would do to my thumb and because I just couldn't bear telling him I liked him when I was so terrified of him that I would sometimes rather be dead than in this place. I tried to push myself up and kiss him, but I was way too short even on my toes to kiss him without him leaning down. He released my hand and instead gripped my face in both his hands.
"Think me a fool to manipulate Airawende? I know you're trying to save yourself" He said softly and I froze my lips moving soundlessly. He was going to kill me. He released my face and I tried to move back away from him but he grabbed me by the throat and pulled me forward. "You won't remember anyone else by the time I'm finished with you"
"Hello Tar-Mairon" Ancalagon's voice broke through the haze of my terror. My hands came up to the one around my throat as I desperately clawed at it tightening around me.
"Ancalagon. Gothmog" Tears streamed down my face in increased panic as Tar-Mairon greeted the others.
"Why are you here?" Gothmog said softly relinquishing me and turning to face Tar-Mairon. I collapsed on the ground as I wheezed painfully at the influx of air.
"Can I not just come to places that I will" Tar-Mairon said with a strange smile. I knew he wasn't really asking a question.
"You will to come here do you Mairon" Gothmog said with a hint of derision in his tone.
"If you must know" Tar-Mairon's golden gaze locked on my pitiful one "I was looking for you, but then our dear dragon here caused quite a disruption and our lord sent me to find out why"
"What do you want?" Gothmog still sounded pissed, and I could feel the air heat up again.
"As you know, Haldamire has deeply offended me" he began, but Gothmog cut him off.
"Just get to the point Mairon. I tire of these courtly word games" His red eyes meeting golden ones.
"We will trade pets" Mairon said after an assessing moment. I thought Gothmog was going to explode and kill Tar-Mairon then and there.
"You dare to presume to take…" Gothmog began before, this time, being the one cut off.
"I presume nothing. I have permission from our master. Haldamire has scientific knowledge and so that does that one. I am allowed to have her, and you may have Haldamire, until I am content with the knowledge" Mairon gave Gothmog a mocking smile.
"I will torture Haldamire into madness" Gothmog spat.
"As I said before, she deeply offended me" He said blandly. I stared at them both in absolute horror. What did Haldamire do? Would Gothmog really? How could Tar-Mairon let him. Questions raced through me.
"Come Airawende" Tar-Mairon said approaching me and looking me over. I rose shakily to my feet and followed him as he turned and walked towards where we had all come from. He slowed his pace and I almost ran into him.
"Look back like you don't want to go with me" Tar-Mairon said softly that I almost thought I imagined the words. It did not help he was still looking straight ahead. I tossed a wild look over my shoulder at Gothmog. It certainly wasn't hard to seem like I didn't want to go with Tar-Mairon because I was pretty sure the terror had not left my face once since Gothmog came in here. He was watching us go, but didn't look furious. He looked almost considering and Ancalagon had both eyes open this time.