It takes courage to walk through life with the looming burden and stigma of disease hanging over you constantly and not let it interfere in your life more than you're already forced to. Though the shame Remus Lupin had about his Lycanthropy was a factor that he would always carry to some degree or another, it had not prevented him from exemplary service in the Order of the Phoenix, becoming a well educated man, or a kind and enduring friend. However, it had given him a tendency to consider himself lesser than healthy individuals and he still struggled occasionally to understand why a young, vibrant, and witty woman had wanted to marry him and have his child.
"Dora's father is helping her put all the furniture together for the nursery today," Remus shared with a smile, as he handed his set of keys to Severus Snape and then wheeled his luggage out into the corridor behind Minerva McGonagall. "Ted insists that old fashioned muggle cribs constructed by hand are still the way to go. I remember my mother saying the same thing. Anyway, it should all be set up by the time I get home tonight. Andromeda was bringing over her rocking chair as well."
The baby was due to arrive any day now and Remus was thrilled beyond measure despite the worries he still harboured in his heart. Being a werewolf had meant being sentenced to a life of consistent pain, exhaustion, poverty, and prejudice. His biggest fear was that his own affliction might be passed onto his son or that his son would grow up ashamed to be cursed with a father like him. It was for those reasons that Remus had never intended to have children or even give himself the opportunity to fall in love. But while Tonks did seem to understand why he was afraid, she refused to entertain any of it. She had spent her entire pregnancy in a state of optimism and unrelenting joy that had proven to be contagious.
"I hope he is like you," she had told Remus a few months ago when they'd learned they were having a boy. "Selfless, brave, and good-natured," she'd punctuated each word with a kiss. "Sweetheart, this little guy and I are so lucky to have you. Thank you for loving me."
But loving Nymphadora had always been the easiest thing in the world for Remus. It was believing himself good enough for her that was difficult. He never wanted his condition to be a burden on her though he did accept that there had never been a better time in history to be a werewolf.
For in the aftermath of Lord Voldemort's defeat, the Ministry had begun looking at and taking responsibility for how their discriminatory practices had pushed the werewolves away from their side. As a result, funds had been allocated to supply every affected person with a regular supply of the modified Wolfsbane Potion that enabled them to keep their minds during transformations and laws had been implemented so that werewolves could be employable. Remus had been invited to take a permanent professorship at Hogwarts and he looked forward to returning to the post next September after some time off with his family.
"I'm still trying to figure out how I allowed myself to be so easily persuaded into this," Severus remarked. The last of them to leave the Defence Against the Dark Arts classroom, he closed the door behind him.
"Well it's obvious that you missed us, Severus, there's no shame in admitting it," Minerva chided, sharing a look with Remus who laughed good naturedly as the three of them began walking together in the direction of the stairs that would take them down into the Entrance Hall.
Nearly all of the castle's population was to be found outdoors on such a glorious Sunday afternoon. This April had so far proven to be exceptionally mild for a Scotland spring and everyone was taking advantage of it. Recognizing how fortunate they were to be attending school in a time of peace and recovery; where they could feel safe and enlightened by opportunities that were not based on the so-called purity of one's blood. The atmosphere was reminiscent to Remus of his own student days, but even better than that because Lord Voldemort was gone.
"When did I ever give you any sort of indication that I missed anything, Minerva?" Severus raised his eyebrows at her. "When you showed up at my house to bemoan your staffing troubles relentlessly until I agreed to return?"
"The fact that my guilt worked on you tells me all I need to know," Minerva retorted back with a triumphant smirk, and Remus felt his own smile broaden even further.
While Severus hadn't expressed any regret or sentimentality in the months since he'd left Hogwarts, it was undoubtedly a good thing that he was coming out again before his reclusive habits became too difficult to break. The end of the war had given Severus the freedom to begin making decisions about his own life not dependent on what others needed him to do. He'd chosen to indulge in rest, family, and solitary research work that he enjoyed, while intentionally ignoring the frenzy of interest everyone suddenly seemed to have in him now that his role in taking down Voldemort had become public knowledge.
"Severus, you should know that the students are quite excited," Remus reminded him gently. "I daresay you've invoked even more fascination from them than the prospect of learning from Alastor Moody had before. You've got a lot of admirers. Everyone knows what you did now and you're all they've been talking about since they found out you were coming back."
"I'm sure those feelings will die down just as soon as we get into the classroom tomorrow and they remember what having me for a teacher is like," Severus said indifferently.
"I think you're underestimating how much you mean to the wizarding world, Severus," Minerva said wisely, and Remus silently nodded his agreement. "Books have been written -"
"Which I'll never read," Severus said quickly. "Which should be banned from this school - they don't know the facts about me."
"I'm just saying that hiding out in the countryside since the defeat of You Know Who hasn't reduced the interest in you," Minerva pointed out. "If anything, it's only made you more desirable and kept everyone in suspense. People want to know you. Just like Harry and Sirius, you're going to have to learn to accept all the attention."
"I'm here as a favour to you and Remus, and nothing more," Severus answered coolly, turning his back on them to walk over to the windows that were all opened invitingly to the breeze wafting into the drafty castle. It was to be understood that the matter was closed.
"Well, I'm thankful," Remus assured him, the warmth and delectable scents of spring hitting his overly sensitive nose as he and Minerva went over to join Severus at the window.
The truth of the matter was that Severus Snape had unwittingly changed for the better in so many realms once he was freed from the obligations and sacrifices he'd dutifully taken on, but also from the past that he had finally been able to make peace with. There was lightness in his eyes and more patience, more compassion. Remus saw it in the way Severus's whole face seemed to soften at the sight of Harry suddenly racing by on his broomstick in pursuit of the golden snitch. Fatherhood had given a whole new lease on life to Severus Snape because he was happy. Finding family was transformative for all of them.
"The Gryffindor team will be winning the cup again this year, I'm sure!" Minerva told them gleefully. Her eyes flashed with excitement behind her square spectacles as Harry performed a daringly sharp turn in the air that knocked him three quarters of the way off his broomstick, though he recovered nicely.
"You're the Headmistress," Severus reminded her, with his eyes still glued on Harry. "Aren't you supposed to be an impartial observer now?"
"Still not more biased than Dumbledore," Remus murmured, and not one of them could disagree.
Accepted as the greatest headmaster that Hogwarts had ever seen and dearly beloved by them all, Albus Dumbledore remained a significant part of the school's culture even post mortem. Far from perfect, but wise and with a pure heart at the core. Dumbledore had pulled the strings that made their lives even possible. Burdened with the pain of making the hard choices and risking them even when he desired nothing more than to save them, his role had been necessary even while it prompted him sometimes to seem calculating and cruel. He was the reason why the plan had worked and Voldemort had been killed. Consequently he was the reason for their happiness and the brightness in the world now. Everything came back to Dumbledore and he would always be remembered for that.
"All bets are off when it comes to my Quidditch team," Minerva told them with an unapologetic shrug.
A voracious Quidditch fan, Minerva anticipated a Gryffindor win every single year with an enthusiasm equal to that of the students. Her thin lips were pressed together tightly and her eyes darted back and forth to keep her star seeker and captain of the team in sight at all times. Harry was getting more daring and quick in his movements with each passing year that he played. From a distance it was magnifying how sleek and graceful he could be, and as Harry flew nearer to the castle and they saw his face up close it was obvious that he was having the absolute time of his life.
"He accepted a spot with the Montrose Magpies," Severus disclosed to them softly.
"He decided?" Minerva clapped her hands together.
"They're the team that had wanted James," Severus said simply, by way of explaining Harry's choice.
Harry had been receiving offers from several notable professional Quidditch teams that year and with encouragement from his parents, had decided to plan to do that upon graduation. Remus had agreed with both Severus and Sirius that the sport Harry enjoyed would do him well after being through so much. He didn't need a high pressure career or to be forced into something he didn't really want to do. It was enough for Harry to just be and learn to be okay with himself like that. The war had ended and he didn't have to fight anymore.
"We couldn't believe it when James turned them down," Remus reminisced. "But he didn't want to be away once they were expecting Harry. Now I know how he feels…."
Though he didn't have to worry for a while, Remus was already hoping that he might be able to persuade Tonks to move to Hogsmeade eventually. They were settled in London at the moment with them both traveling on alternate weekends to see the other, but that wouldn't work in the long term. The baby wasn't even born yet and already Remus couldn't bear the idea of not being able to see him every day.
"I didn't know you were here already," Harry called once he'd noticed them watching him. He drew closer and maneuvered his broom to hover outside the fourth floor corridor window.
"I just arrived," Severus told him, who had come a day early to settle back into the school before Monday's classes. "Some new moves?"
"Since I don't have to worry about falling…" Harry grinned. "Arrogant?"
"Just about," Severus couldn't resist a small smile, and it warmed Remus's heart, as it always did, to see their exchanges.
He knew that Severus had taught Harry the art of unassisted flight. If he were to fall off his broomstick, Harry had no doubts about his ability to recover and gracefully compart himself down to the ground. It made him a complete force to be reckoned with on the Quidditch pitch. More risky and swift than any other seeker who went up against him. He'd do well on the professional team of his choice and it would be a nice change to become famous for something that was pleasant.
"How's Tonks doing?" Harry inquired politely. Though he and Remus saw one another every day around the school, it wasn't often that they stepped out of the dynamics of student and professor when they were within the confines of Hogwarts. Remus treated him the same as any other student, which he suspected Harry appreciated considering the extraordinary elements that made him stand out from his peers.
"Fantastic," Remus answered. "We'll send word just as soon as the baby is born and maybe you and your fathers will be able to come meet him as soon as next weekend."
"And Professor Lupin already promised me that he'd forget all about this place and just focus on the family while he's away," Minerva added, motioning suddenly to the fluttering golden snitch that she'd spotted next to Harry's left ankle.
Harry made a quick grab for it but missed. The snitch shot away in the direction of the Forbidden Forest and Harry prepared to go after it. He did an impressive turn in the air, before briefly looking back over his shoulder. "Dad, I'll come see you after dinner, okay?"
The name flew off his tongue naturally, as it always did now whenever Harry spoke about his father to anyone. One of the greatest positives about the war's end was Harry and Severus no longer needing to hide their relationship from anyone. Though it had shocked many of the people in Harry's year when the Daily Prophet had come out with a front page story about the adoption of Harry Potter by Severus Snape, it had been accepted just as readily as when Sirius had done the same for him earlier. The dynamic of their little family was the subject of a lot of curiosity that would probably only heighten now that they were at Hogwarts together and able to be observed.
"I'll be very pleased if my relationship with my son turns out to be anything like yours is," Remus said quietly, as Harry disappeared from view and the three of them turned to continue down to the Entrance Hall where there was supposed to be a carriage waiting to take him into Hogsmeade.
Following a full moon, Remus often was too weary for days to attempt apparition or even quick transport by portkey or the floo. Even with Wolfsbane Potion, transforming was a draining experience that left him feeling weak and slightly ill. The train ride into London would be lengthy but it would give him a chance to rest before he got home to his wife.
"Your child is already so lucky," Minerva said confidently. "You're going to be a wonderful father."
A good father was what Remus wanted to be more than anything. Doing right by his son mattered more to him than his condition now and he hoped his good intentions would help him be enough. Tonks certainly believed in him and Remus was suddenly overcome by a strong desire to see her and get to enjoy it being just the two of them for a little bit longer. She'd been trying to tell him that love was more powerful than Lycanthropy since the day that they'd met. Remus had wanted to believe her then but now he was hoping fervently that she was about to be proven right.
XXX
"What are you doing here?" were the first words out of Severus's mouth when he walked into the private living quarters off Remus's office in Gryffindor Tower later that day and spotted Sirius standing in the middle of the room in front of his open suitcase.
"Passing by," Sirius answered lightly, waving his wand at a set of identical black robes that had flown out of the suitcase and whooshed down the hallway in the direction of the bedroom to presumably be hung up in the wardrobe.
"I don't think so," Severus replied, slipping out of his outer robe and draping it over the back of a burgundy armchair. His forearms were visible and this never bothered him anymore. His Dark Mark had vanished with the death of Lord Voldemort, freeing him from the greatest shame of his life.
"You don't?" Sirius smiled as he slipped his wand into the pocket of his leather jacket and crossed the room to wrap his arms around Severus's waist. "But if I left this to you, you'd probably live out of that suitcase indefinitely."
"Well it would make leaving for the weekends easier…" Severus pointed out softly, feeling an immediate rush of relief quell up inside him as Sirius bestowed a fluttery kiss on his neck just above the collar of his shirt. Severus hadn't realized how much he'd been missing Sirius until right now but considering they hadn't spent a day apart since the final battle it should hardly have been surprising.
"That's true," Sirius leaned his head back and pretended to think about it. Sighing contentedly as Severus ran his fingers through his soft brown curls.
"So is that why you've come all this way? To unpack for me?" Severus asked, leaning forward to brush Sirius's lips with his own. How peculiar it was that this other man, once so despised, so opposing, could seduce him into becoming a version of himself that was almost unrecognizable. But while Severus had been with a handful of different women in his life on a casual basis, he had never been with anyone that generated this much depth and devotion from him.
"I missed you," Sirius confessed, the arms wrapped around Severus's waist tightening. "I'm supposed to go to dinner at Grimmauld Place tonight but that isn't for hours and the Floo powder was right there - I wanted to see you."
"You don't hear me complaining, do you?" Severus asked with a smirk, his mouth twitching as he leaned forward for another kiss.
This time he allowed his mouth to linger and for the act to intensify as Sirius leaned more fully against him. It wasn't a love borne from immediate attraction but from the softly sprouted growth of their found family in their shared son. What had begun as a mutual agreement of truce between two enemies who felt nothing but contempt for each other but had wanted to get along for Harry's sake, had evolved into friendship, and then a deepening of respect and understanding. They had fallen in love with one another's souls - the men they both were deep down before the world had hardened them. And now they were together in all the ways because there was nobody who could have come close to the intimacy they'd shared with one another's minds - a compatibility that had translated into passionate desire.
"Thank you," Severus said, reaching back to pull Sirius's right hand from around his waist. He brought it up to his mouth for a kiss. "You know that I was very skeptical about coming back here…'
"I know it will be good for you," Sirius said confidently, then with a bit of skepticism creeping into his tone, he added, "maybe good for us? I'm not sure."
"Were you wanting a break from me?" Severus smirked. "Is that the true root of your unrelenting support?"
"Absolutely not," Sirius shook his head. "I've just completely forgotten how to be without you."
"But do we need to remember how to be like that?" Severus asked softly, after a pause where they'd just stood there holding one another in silence. "You're here now. Why not stay?"
"I've got that dinner…" Sirius reminded him with a reluctant smile.
"And the Floo is right there," Severus nodded towards the fireplace in the office behind him. "You can leave and come back tonight."
"Professor Snape, are you looking to rekindle some old rumours?" Sirius asked, sounding amused but pleased.
For their relationship dynamic - or perhaps more the dynamic of their family as a whole had been the subject of a lot of scrutiny in the wizarding world since Severus had added his name to Harry's adoption papers and they'd both been recognized publicly as his coparents, who also happened to live in the same house together. Yet nobody who mattered to them had ever pried into their private affairs or asked for things to be verified. Even Harry had never needed them to officially state the status between them. He knew that they both loved him, loved each other, and that they were a family who would stay together even after he'd grown up and moved away. Sirius's presence at Hogwarts and in Severus's quarters would invoke more speculation, but it ultimately wouldn't matter. They were discreet, not ashamed, and the answers were obvious to anyone who looked for them anyway.
"I don't give a damn about rumours," Severus assured Sirius, and he meant it. He had been speculated about, doubted, and accused of so many dastardly things in the name of his work for Dumbledore over the years. It would be a nice change to have people wonder about something that made him so happy. His closeness to Sirius Black was exactly that.