Nymphadora 'Tonks' Lupin was going to make a wonderful mother, of this Harry had no doubt. Energetic, bubbly, and not intimidated by daunting challenges or by what other people would think of her choices, Harry found it quite fascinating to see how the young auror had put everything else in her life aside temporarily to prepare for her son's birth. If she shared any of Remus's worries for the baby's health, then she didn't show it, and was radiating confidence and joy in the final stages of her pregnancy.
Harry had enjoyed helping her put the finishing touches on the nursery that evening. White fluffy clouds were shifting around the ceiling as a tiny golden snitch buzzed in and around them. The walls were painted a turquoise aqua, reminiscent of tropical seaside destinations that were popular amongst British holidaymakers. Every once in a while a colourful rainbow fish would seem to leap out of the wall and there would be a splash of white as it disappeared once again, as though below the depths of an endless blue sea. These visuals were sure to amuse the room's occupant, and the wooden shelves were already holding many toys and books, muggle and magical alike, for when he got a bit older.
"C'mon, knock him down!" Harry was enthusiastically urging along the plush dragon he was making fly about the room.
With flourishes and twists of their wands, he and Tonks were charming the numerous stuffed animals to do battle in the air. The inanimate objects had come to life at their hands and flew at one another, knocking back and forth. The niffler was solid and bumped into the toy dragon with incredible force, but its opponent was quicker. Harry was able to manipulate the dragon he was championing into making swift and abrupt turns that made it difficult for Tonks' niffler to get many good shots in.
"Yes!" Harry cheered, when the niffler finally accepted defeat and cannon-balled into the basket under the window with the rest of the conquered cuddle toys.
"Not again!" Tonks protested good naturedly, lowering her wand and tucking an electric blue curl behind her ear. "I nearly had you! You sure you don't want to sub in for a beater sometime on the pitch, Potter? You've got an arm…"
"I like speed more," Harry replied, as the dragon dove gracefully down into the box after the niffler with a final flap of its green glittery scaled wings. Then he also lowered his wand.
"Well, you've got that down too," Tonks assured him. "The Montrose Magpies, right? I've always supported the Holyhead Harpies, but now I'll be rooting for you guys too. Maybe Remus and I will be able to bring the little man out to a match sometime to cheer you on. We could get him a little jersey or flag to wave - wouldn't that be cute?"
She laughed at the image she painted and Harry found her smile to be infectious. Though everyone in the family was celebrating his professional recruitment and Harry was excited about getting to pursue his passion, he did have doubts that it was going to be enough to satisfy him after the constant adrenaline he had experienced from his pivotal role during the war.
Voldemort was gone and the Ministry was successfully rounding up the Death Eaters, but Harry wasn't sure that even Quiddich was going to be enough to distract him from all the haunting thoughts that still threatened to overtake him. It was hard to live continuously with the knowledge that he was supposed to have died and had only survived by mistake. It made him feel like he needed to justify his existence on Earth and that simple pleasures and a life rooted in happiness were far too self-indulgent.
"Did you consider doing anything else after Hogwarts?" he asked curiously.
"You mean besides becoming an auror?" Tonks asked, as she settled down in the old rocking chair to rest her feet. "I mean, not really, but I did find all the extra years of required schooling to be intimidating. It's a very time consuming process, as you know, but the only other career path I'd briefly considered was healing, and that takes just as long."
"Ron's pretty sure that he wants to enroll," Harry shared, "and we all know Hermione's going to become Minister for Magic someday at the rate she's going. But me -"
"You're the hero of the wizarding world," Tonks reminded him with a small smile, pressing her toes into the carpet to glide her chair back and forth. "You're not going to have any trouble. Everyone wants Harry Potter! You could turn up at any employer in Britain just to sample what they do for a few days and they'd all be beside themselves."
"But for all the wrong reasons," Harry said shortly. "And that just makes me feel confused whenever I think about the future."
"Then just take it one day at a time," Tonks advised. "That's what I always tell Remus to do when he starts getting anxious. As for myself, well I wasn't planning to have a baby this young. I had wanted to establish myself in the auror office for a few more years at least first. I'm scared they're going to cast me aside if I'm away for too long."
"I don't think that would happen in a million years," Harry tried to reassure her. "And you're Moody's favourite, he's made that very clear."
"He did get pretty choked up when I asked him to be the godfather," Tonks smiled. "Even though he tried to convince me of all the reasons why he'd make a terrible choice."
She got back to her feet and did a final spin around the nearly completed nursery with her arms holding her enormous belly. "Anyway, I suppose we should go downstairs and see how my Dad is fairing. He said he wasn't going to use magic - poor bloke."
Though when they reached the bottom of the staircase to the main floor, Tonks let out an immediate note of delight. "Daddy, it's lovely!"
She was referring to the cot her father, Ted Tonks, had just finished assembling, but Harry thought she could have been speaking about any feature of the spacious open-concept home that was completely unrecognizable as Number Twelve Grimmauld Place. Sirius had gifted it to Remus and Tonks as a wedding present and they had changed everything, bar Regulus's bedroom upstairs, which had been bestowed to Kreacher. With thick carpet under your feet, walls knocked down, including the one where Sirius's mother's screaming portrait had hung, and the remainder painted a cheery yellow and decorated with colourful abstract art, the townhouse was everything that a home should be now.
"Your mother and I were just saying that it would be hard to tell by these teeth marks whether we used to put a pet beaver or a daughter to bed in here," Ted chuckled, his rounded belly shaking slightly as he ran his hand over the wooden rail of the cot.
"Sometimes I had my doubts," Andromeda agreed with a small laugh, looking over at them through heavily lidded eyes that so matched those of her deceased sister, Bellatrix Lestrange, that it still took Harry for a shock sometimes when he wasn't expecting it. Andromeda's face was kinder and her features weren't marred by the sunken skeletal look Bellatrix had acquired in Azkaban prison, but that didn't prevent Harry from thinking that he would struggle to tell them apart if they'd stood side by side.
"Should I charm the teeth marks away or leave them?" Ted asked, looking between his wife and daughter.
"Well that's an easy one, leave them," Tonks answered simply. "That way my son will know he's not alone in his free spiritedness."
"Well, then that's that," Ted patted the crib proudly, stepping back from it and taking out his wand. "You'll never do better than handcrafted muggle carpentry. I'll just go put it up in the nursery and we're all done."
"Which means our grandson is welcome to come at any time," Andromeda smiled. "We're ready."
"Almost ready," Tonks corrected, leaning over to kiss her father's cheek before he left the room. "Remus isn't here yet."
And though Harry had overheard Remus sadly bemoaning to Sirius before that Tonks' parents were ashamed of their marriage, he never would have known it to see them now. Not by the way Andromeda had placed her hand lovingly on her daughter's belly or by how Ted was levitating the crib he had assembled by hand up to the second floor nursery. Marrying a werewolf might not have been the dream they'd had for their only child, but their love for Nymphadora had gotten them to embrace even that.
"Where's Dad?" Harry asked, coming over to the chair that Severus had barely moved from since they'd arrived that evening. He seemed to be the picture of relaxation, leaning back with his legs crossed on the footrest in front of him, reading a letter, and not paying the least bit of attention to the conversation happening around him.
"Down in the kitchen," Severus replied, looking up from the page in his hand, "presumably getting on the house elf's last nerve."
He folded the parchment in half and then stood up to pass it to Andromeda. "I don't see anything wrong with that," he told her, invoking a rush of curiosity from Harry who knew better than to outwardly ask what they were talking about. Tonks, however, was not so subtle.
"Are you still trying to decide what to do about Narcissa?" she asked, raising her eyebrows at her mother.
"I'm so lost," Andromeda confessed, brushing her long, dark, curly hair out of her face.
"Narcissa's alright," Severus said fairly, retaking his seat. "Narcissa knows that she picked the wrong side and she regrets that now. At best, you'd reconnect with a long lost sister, and at the least, a meeting with her would give you an opportunity to indulge in some overpriced wine in her garden for an afternoon."
"Stop reminiscing about drinks in Narcissa's garden," Sirius's voice called abruptly across the room, as he emerged suddenly from the basement stairs to catch the tail end of what Severus was saying. "You know what that does to me."
"Perhaps you should consider acquiring a better collection of wines for home if that bothers you?" Severus smirked, which was essentially how he handled all occasions when Sirius or Harry expressed a bout of jealousy towards his connections to any member of the Malfoy family.
Though it didn't surprise Harry at all that Severus would be supportive of the Black sisters reconnecting, it did surprise him that Draco Malfoy's mother even wanted to. Snobbish about their pure-blooded lineage, Harry didn't believe any desire to rekindle a relationship with Andromeda was born out of sincere longing for renewed closeness. Like her husband and son, Narcissa was probably just looking to grovel and salvage some sort of social standing in the wake of being completely ostracized from society. Otherwise she could have reached out in the aftermath of the first war when Bellatrix had been locked up in Azkaban, only she never had.
"Narcissa was very bossy when we were kids," Sirius disclosed to them all, perching himself on the armrest of Severus's chair.
"How awful," Severus said boredly.
"She was," Sirius insisted. "Because she was five years older, she thought it great fun to play house and get me to act like an infant - watch your mouth - " he lightly tapped the back of his hand against Severus's lips, which had parted to make what was undoubtedly going to be a sarcastic comment.
"How did you know what I was going to say?" Severus asked, after covering Sirius's hand with his own and removing it from his face. He didn't let go of it immediately either, Harry noticed and it pleased him. His fathers not merely getting along for his sake, but actually loving one another, was something he would never stop appreciating.
"I was Sirius's favourite cousin because I would sneak in Dad's good whiskey and let him drink it with me round the back at boring family parties when he was only twelve," Andromeda shared. "Narcissa was always the good girl in our family- sort of ironic now, isn't it?"
"I can definitely see you sneaking alcohol to pass the time at events you were forced to go to," Harry told Sirius, which were the sort of stories he lapped up about all his parents.
Severus still remained the least known because the only person who could have really told Harry memories about him young was Lily, but learning more about Sirius's shenanigans was one of his favourite things about spending time with this branch of the family. Andromeda and Sirius shared the distinction of being the Black Sheep of the Most Noble and Ancient House of Black and the kinship that had been created between them was undeniable. Despite being apart for most of their lives, they still clearly cherished one another and knew sides of their most notorious relatives that few others could ever understand.
"So, are we to understand that Kreacher turned down your offer of help with supper?" Severus asked, releasing Sirius's hand but casually beginning to tap his fingers against his back instead.
"You could take it that way," Sirius said nonchalantly, as Andromeda held out Narcissa's letter for Tonks to look at. "I think he's just too independent of an elf."
"Or you were smothering him," Severus suggested, his black eyes glittering as Sirius leaned against his hand in silent encouragement for him to increase the pressure with which he was rubbing his back.
Kreacher had long been regarded as an object of contempt and not much else by Sirius, who had disliked everything that was associated with his pure-blooded family. However, all that had changed when he and Harry had uncovered the truth about what Voldemort had done to Kreacher and how Sirius's brother, Regulus, had completely changed his whole life's direction over it. He'd even been willing to die to help bring Voldemort down and having those sacrifices acknowledged and respected had been transformative for Kreacher. He'd become much more pleasant to be around, his cooking had improved, and he could sometimes even be caught humming while he cleaned. Sirius had made Kreacher's comfortability one of his highest priorities ever since and had even gone so far as to consider the elf a friend.
"It's your decision, mum," Tonks handed Narcissa's letter back to Andromeda as distant music could suddenly be heard from outside the front door. "I'm not so sure I'd want to talk to her but I'm stubborn like that, you know. Why don't we indulge in some ice cream and then you can decide whether or not you want to reply?"
"Ice cream - is that what that means?" Andromeda asked, glancing out the window where a white truck painted with all different kinds of ice creams was pulling into view. Already children could be seen abandoning their bikes and skateboards to rush towards it.
"Visits from the Ice Cream truck are one of the best things about living in a muggle neighbourhood," Tonks informed her. "And right now, I need a strawberry cone with sprinkles more than anything. I think I've got some muggle money by the door -"
"I've got it," Sirius stood up quickly and pulled his wallet out of the pocket of his black jeans. "I'm so glad we disabled nearly all the nutter anti-muggle charms on this house - Regulus and I missed out on all the good stuff growing up. Come on, Harry."
Obediently Harry was quick to shove his feet into the trainers he'd left by the entrance and follow his father out onto the pavement to queue behind some neighbourhood muggle kids underneath the pink setting sun. The air was warm with promises of spring and Harry was abruptly overcome by an urgent need to breathe in as much of it as he could. He only had a few more months at Hogwarts and then after a brief respite he'd be heading to training with his new team. There wasn't much more he could ask for and yet the tranquility of it all seemed to give him too much leisure space in his mind to begin doubting everything.
"Do you think I should go to the auror academy instead of Quidditch?" Harry asked, catching Sirius off guard who'd been rocking on the balls of his feet as he read the menu posted on the truck to himself.
"Are you having doubts about your decision?" Sirius asked carefully.
"Not really," Harry shrugged. "I don't really know what I'm thinking right now."
"Well…" Sirius took a moment to give the answer most parents would tell a discerning young adult son. "I think you should do whatever you want to do," he squeezed Harry's shoulder tightly as they moved a few more spaces closer to the front. "Because you can be or do anything you want."
"And what if I don't know what that is?" Harry asked.
"Then just pick what sounds the most fun to you," Sirius suggested. "Which is why I lean more favourably towards Quidditch. Or you can take some time off and do nothing. You don't have to have all the answers today. You don't even have to have them when you're my age - I certainly don't."
Harry hung back when it was their turn and watched Sirius order for the entire household, whether they had said they wanted ice cream or not. Smiling his thanks when he was passed a large chocolate cone for himself, recalling how the Dursleys had rarely included him in treats like this if they could get away with it. Dudley had always been given an excessive amount of everything while Harry went without, as if to always intentionally highlight the difference between the two boys and pit them against one another from their earliest years.
If things had been different, perhaps they might have grown up as friends or even brothers. Usually though, Harry reserved his longings for wishing he hadn't had to grow up so fast once he'd found a family in Sirius and Severus. Already deprived of being raised by James and Lily, Harry regretted not being able to indulge in a childhood with them either. Everything had happened too fast and Quidditch did make the most sense because it was freeing and enjoyable, but what Harry desired more than anything was an opportunity to hang on a little longer to what he'd found before he had to set out to make his own way.
"Remus!" Sirius called, catching sight of his friend walking down the pavement from the direction of King's Cross Station, a few blocks over. "Perfect timing. We got you a milkshake."
"Thanks," Remus smiled, and Harry thought he looked much better rested than he had done that afternoon still at Hogwarts. He had probably slept the whole journey from Hogsmeade, but after a full moon, there was no such thing as enough sleep.
"I didn't know you were coming over, Harry," Remus smiled, once he had caught up to them and accepted the chocolate milkshake that Sirius had been carrying.
"I sort of got sprung from Hogwarts," Harry said, with a nod towards Sirius, both their arms filled with enough ice cream for everyone, "but we're going to floo back tonight."
"We're doing dessert before supper also," Sirius added. "Because your wife insisted and I'm of the opinion that when a pregnant lady asks for something, you don't delay."
"Not if you know what's good for you," Remus agreed, leading the way up the stone steps to the front porch of Number 12 and opening the door for them.
Tonks only took a few indulgent licks of her strawberries and sprinkles, before she greeted her husband with a big welcome home kiss in front of everyone. Sirius wolf whistled as he handed cones to Ted and Andromeda before leaving in the direction of the kitchen to presumably bestow Kreacher with his treat as well. Harry noticed the way that the blush on Remus's cheeks spread all the way to his ears and held back a laugh, as he went to hand Severus a milkshake and take over Sirius's spot on the armrest of his chair.
"So was the journey terrible, sweetheart?" Tonks was asking.
"No, I think it was exactly what I needed," Remus replied, before he greeted both of his in-laws.
Harry concentrated on polishing off his ice-cream cone and tried not to let his mind wander. He had never used Occlumency after the war, though he had to admit that there were times when it would have come in handy. Like in blocking out emotions he didn't want to feel or memories he didn't want to recall. The only trouble with Occlumency was that he understood that it shouldn't be practiced that way. It wasn't about living in denial or ignoring things that needed to be dealt with and processed. Occlumency was about shielding the mind from outside invasion and Harry didn't need to do that anymore. He had learned to suppress his emotions through different means.
"Are we leaving after we eat?" Harry asked, once he had swallowed the last bite of his waffle cone.
"Hopefully," Severus replied, passing Harry his half-finished milkshake to finish off. "Drink the rest of that, you're looking a little pale."
Harry accepted the cup wordlessly and sipped it absentmindedly, trying to make his mind up about something that had seemed too personal and unconventionally intimate to even want to share with either of his fathers before. However, listening to Andromeda struggle to decide what to do about Narcissa's attempt to reach out to her for the first time in at least twenty-five years, had brought his own recent situation back to the forefront of his mind.
"I never told either of you that Dudley sent me a letter a few weeks ago," Harry said, once he had polished off the milkshake and used his wand to vanish the paper cup.
"Your cousin?" Severus verified.
Harry nodded. "He just wrote, 'Harry Easter, Harry', and I immediately sent back, 'Happy Easter, Big D'. Sort of interesting, huh?"
But the most interesting thing to Harry right now was not that Dudley had sent him a card for Easter, but that he hadn't even considered ignoring it instead of replying. Watching Andromeda fret about whether to say anything back to her sister made Harry respect her for having a resolve of steel. He himself did not seem to possess that level of restraint. He found it difficult not to forgive - maybe before, but especially now that he had seen what happened to maimed souls
like Voldemort's when they died.
"Perhaps Dudley has some remorse for how he treated you during your childhood?" Severus suggested softly, though nobody was near enough or paying the least bit of attention to their conversation. "You know that people change…"
"I know," Harry said, clutching onto his father's forearm where the Dark Mark was no longer displayed and never would be again. "But not everyone wants to change and I don't believe Narcissa's intentions are good, but I would still probably write back if I was in Andromeda's shoes. I was just thinking about that."
"Why would you respond if you don't think she means well?" asked Severus curiously.
"Just in case she does," Harry replied. "I think everyone deserves the opportunity to change. A second chance - or even a third or a fourth. Dumbledore got that right."
Dumbledore had also said that death was nothing to fear for people who had love in their hearts and in that, Harry was also inclined to agree. Sometimes the memory of Voldemort's trembling, bleeding, and damaged soul in the beyond still kept him up at night. He knew there was no chance of salvation and peace. Voldemort would suffer for all eternity and it was a fate that Harry would never wish on anyone. It made it difficult to hold grudges even when he really wanted to. Everyone had an obligation to search for humanity in one another.
"I was prepared to die - I thought I was going to die that day," Harry whispered.
Still holding onto Severus's arm, Harry squeezed him a little more tightly. It was always difficult to reckon with the understanding that he wasn't really supposed to be here. It was the most peculiar feeling of displacement, to be running on time borrowed from Death. But what Harry prized himself most on was his courage - he had walked towards Voldemort while the Malfoys had run away. He hadn't let fear of dying get in the way of him doing the right thing and now he knew that Death was nothing to fear. It was living that was sometimes difficult to reckon with.
"You know it's okay, to not always be okay," Severus said softly.
"This feeling just came over me all of a sudden," Harry admitted. "And I'm not sure why because today has been a very good day."
"You're not used to things just being easy," Severus reminded him. "And that's partly what I insisted you go back to school and immerse yourself in regular activities someone your age should be doing. Even if it feels ridiculous after what you've already experienced, settling back into life is something that you almost have to train yourself in…but both me and Dad are always here to help."
Harry nodded but couldn't find the words to describe how cheated he still felt. He had two fathers who would do anything for him, but hadn't found them until he was nearly an adult. Voldemort had stolen so much from him and time couldn't be turned back now. Harry just wished he could have been indulging in their love his entire life, though there was wisdom that sprouted from pain, and his cruel beginnings had given him the strength and resolve to be willing to sacrifice absolutely anything to end Voldemort. The person he'd grown up to be was exactly why he had everything he had now.
"I think you should stay with us tonight," Severus said softly. "I'll make you a bed on the sofa in Remus's living room because I want you close. We don't talk enough about everything that happened last summer. None of us expected to make it out of there alive and for it all to be alright - to be together - well that doesn't mean it's as easy as learning to forget and move on."
"I try my hardest," Harry told him.
"I know you do," said Severus. "So do I, so does Sirius - together we do pretty well most of the time."
"I think you do everything better together," Harry said sincerely, and nobody would argue that he was right.
Sirius and Severus together had formed the base that Harry could rest in when he didn't know what else to do. Despite everything that he had been through, all that he had suffered, he still had their love and family to ground him unconditionally. The closer Sirius and Severus had become, the better for Harry. And without figuring anything out or solving any of the problems currently consuming him, Harry could trust them to make it all okay. Just like Tonks was occupied with preparing the nursery for her baby, Harry knew that his fathers still wanted nothing more than to make a home for him together, because there was no age limit to loving on your son.