A/N: The fight scene wasn't as big as I wanted, but enjoy it anyway.
Elliot did finally get about two hours of sleep after talking to Charles. And that was good, because the second the plane landed, he didn't stop. He felt like he was on full-on autopilot trying to get to Liv.
There were lines. Then there weren't any cabs. Then there was the ever-present, ever-annoying New York City traffic.
He'd been calling Tucker consistently every 15 minutes since he'd gotten off the plane and nothing. What was this, NYPD doesn't answer the phone day? Thankfully, Tucker had given him the hospital and the room number before they hung up the first time. Otherwise, Elliot didn't know what he'd do.
He got to Mercy as quickly as he could, flashed his badge, and asked for Olivia Benson's room. She was only on the second floor, and Elliot had too much nervous energy coursing through his veins to wait for the elevator, so he took the stairs.
He'd just entered the waiting room, barely registering Fin and Cragen sitting in the uncomfortable plastic chairs, when he saw Tucker rounding the corner with a smile on his face.
Who the hell had a right to look that happy when Elliot had been agonizing for hours over what was happening to Olivia and the rat bastard couldn't even be bothered to call him back?
"Tucker," Elliot barked, making quick work of the space between them. "Where the hell have you been? I called a bunch of times."
"Been a little busy," Tucker said. "You're the one who asked me to check in on Benson, remember?"
"Yeah, but I also expected you to keep me updated," Elliot said. "Where is she?"
"She's got a room down the hall, but I think it'd be better if you calmed down before you went back to see her," Tucker said, turning to Fin. "She's also hungry and asked for some dinner. Would you be able to go back and sit with her while I run out to get it?"
Since when did Tucker do those kinds of favors for anyone, much less one of them? Something awful must have happened.
"Tucker, what the hell happened to Olivia?" Elliot asked. "What did you find?"
"Imma just…" Fin started, standing up from his seat and pointing toward the hallway. Cragen scampered after him.
"She had a rough day," Tucker said.
"A rough day?" Elliot said, feeling his blood pressure rising. "No, I had a rough day worrying about what happened to her and trying to get back here. She's in the hospital. It had to be something worse than a 'rough day,' especially if you won't tell me about it."
"It's her story and I don't know what she wants you to know," Tucker said. "You probably shouldn't be talking to either of us about it until we've had our interviews anyway."
"Interviews?" Elliot asked as Tucker tried to walk away from him. "It was so bad you're both going to have to get interviewed by your squad?"
"Yes," Tucker said, hitting the button for the elevator. "Now, go get a drink of water and bring it down to a simmer before you go in and see her."
The bell dinged and the doors opened, and Tucker stepped inside. But Elliot wasn't going to let him get away that easily.
"You don't have any control over how I act when Olivia and I are together," Elliot said.
"Suppose I don't, do I?" Tucker asked as they stepped off the elevator and into the lobby. Elliot followed him out into the side alley of the building.
"Is she conscious at least?" Elliot asked.
"Yeah," Tucker said. "Although I find it interesting that you're following me around when you could be up there with her right now."
Elliot felt his fists and his jaw clench. He was nervous. He didn't know what he was going to find when he saw Olivia and it scared him to death.
"I wanna be prepared," Elliot said. "For whatever I'm going to see on the other side of that door."
Tucker cocked an eyebrow and nodded his head.
"The flasher perp, the last case they worked on? He got the drop on her in her apartment," Tucker said. "Not really sure how. We haven't talked about it, neither of us has been interviewed yet. But he was in there when I went to check on her."
Elliot's throat felt dry. He felt parts of his body start to shake, unconsciously.
"How long?" Elliot managed to say. "How long was he in there? How long did he have her?"
"Cragen said he sent her home yesterday," Tucker said. "Could have been anytime between then and when I showed up. That's been, I don't maybe like 12 hours ago at this point?"
"What'd you see?" Elliot asked. "When you found her, found them. What happened?"
"I don't think you want those images in your head," Tucker said.
"I have to know," Elliot said, his voice almost pleading. "Tell me."
"Perp answered the door, tried to make me think he was her boyfriend," Tucker. "But something just didn't seem right. When I tried to get in, he strong-armed me, but I pushed past him. She was tied to a chair in the living room, out of it. The shirt was torn. He'd obviously been… enjoying her."
Elliot felt like he was going to retch right in the alley. His head was spinning. He did the only thing he could. He turned around and started wailing on a dumpster.
"That's not going to solve anything," Tucker said, leaning back against the wall of the hospital.
"Was she raped?" Elliot asked.
He knew that was one of Olivia's worst fears, turning into her mother. It was one of his worst fears too, someone taking advantage of her, touching her, doing anything to her without her consent.
"She doesn't think so," Tucker said. "But he drugged her, force-fed her pills and vodka. She was so out of it when I found her she barely recognized me."
Elliot had been through heartbreak before. Both times he went through a divorce with Kathy, it hurt. When Liv left him for Computer Crimes and Oregon, that hurt. But this was the first time Elliot felt like his heart broke. It shattered into a million tiny little pieces at the thought of Olivia drugged, drunk, molested.
"He… burned her," Tucker said, his voice low. "On her stomach. Maybe other places. Looked like cigarettes and her house keys for sure. Maybe some other things."
The white-hot flame of rage grew in Elliot's soul.
"I'll kill him," Elliot said, the noise ripping from his throat almost feral. "I'll kill that sick son of a bitch myself."
"You can't," Tucker said.
"I don't have to answer to you anymore," Elliot yelled.
"You just admitted premeditated murder to a cop," Tucker said. "The head of Internal Affairs no less."
"Then lock me the hell up," Elliot screamed. "He deserves to pay. He deserves anything he has coming to him for what he did to Olivia."
"You can't kill him," Tucker said again.
"Save your bullshit for someone who cares," Elliot said, landing another few punches to the dumpster.
"You can't do it because he's already dead," Tucker said.
That made Elliot stop and turn back around.
"Who?" Elliot asked. "How?"
"He reached for her gun on the counter," Tucker said. "I told him not to move and he lunged for it anyway."
"He suffer?" Elliot asked.
"No," Tucker said. "Right between the eyes. Instant."
"He deserved to suffer," Elliot said.
"He did," Tucker admitted.
Elliot wanted to be mad at Tucker. He wanted to yell and curse and blame someone for this mess. But mostly, he just wanted to blame himself. Olivia needed him and he wasn't there. She'd been held hostage and tortured in her own apartment for a day, give or take, and he wasn't there.
And now he owed Ed Tucker for her life.
The entire thing was just some sort of twisted joke.
"She asked for you," Tucker said. "Before they finished the rape kit."
"Why?" Elliot asked.
"She didn't want to be alone for the oral and internal exams," Tucker said.
She needed him twice. During the ordeal and in the aftermath. And he'd just left her all alone. Didn't have her six. Some partner.
"Was she?" Elliot asked. "Alone?"
"No," Ed said. "I stayed."
Elliot felt the fire rage again, knowing Tucker had been there during her most vulnerable.
"Behind a privacy sheet, mind you," Tucker said. "So no need to turn that rage on me. We're on the same side this time."
"And what side is that?" Elliot asked.
"The side that wants to help Olivia heal from this," Tucker said.
"You really want to help?" Elliot asked.
"You can deny it all you want, Stabler," Tucker said. "But I know how you feel about her. I'm glad you didn't find her that way. I don't think I'll ever be able to get it out of my head."
Elliot wanted to be glad about it too. But the guilt outweighed it. He would take that pain on 100 times over if it meant she was safe, unharmed, and not laying in a hospital bed upstairs.
"She can't take your rage right now," Tucker said. "So punch that dumpster until your knuckles are raw. Go sit in your car and scream. Go for a 12-mile run. But do not go up in that room and take the anger with you."
Tucker's words pricked at his skin. How dare he think he knew Olivia after spending a few hours with her.
"What gives you the right to tell me how to act around her?" Elliot asked.
"Because this isn't about you, or me, or anyone but her," Tucker said. "Think about her for a change."
"That's all I ever do," Elliot said. "It's why I left the NYPD. Figured you'd come for both of our jobs. You were always gunning for the both of us."
"You think about how you want to protect her," Tucker said. "But just think about her, about Olivia. What do you think she wants right now? Aside from a big thing of french fries and a raspberry tea, which I'm about to leave and go get right now. Think on it before you go up there."
Then Tucker turned around and left the alley.
Elliot could feel the anger and grief rolling off of him in waves.
What did Olivia want? From everything he knew about her, she probably just wanted the people she cared about to show up and show they cared about her but NOT treat her any differently because of what happened.
So Elliot went a few more rounds with the dumpster. And the brick wall. And he cried a little and threw up once. All in the span of about 15 minutes.
Then, he went into the lobby restroom, blew his nose, splashed cold water on his face, made the best of his knuckles, and rode the elevator back up to the second floor.
He took a few deep breaths as he navigated to room 216, and knocked twice before turning the knob on the door.
Elliot's heart jumped into his throat when he saw her in the bed, bruised, hair wet from a recent shower. Fin and Cragen sitting in chairs on either side of her bed, keeping guard. But he swallowed the lump and forced a smile on his face.
"Hey partner," he said, his voice soft and low. "Isn't it usually supposed to be me sitting in that bed?"
"El," Olivia said, her eyes lighting up, but her voice quivering slightly. "You came back."
"I think we'll give you two a minute," Cragen said, signaling for Fin to follow him out.
As the boys left, Elliot stepped closer to her bed and when the door to her room shut completely, she opened her arms and he walked into them.
And the second she'd wrapped her arms around his neck and buried her face in his chest, she began to sob.
And though he was trying to think about Olivia, he couldn't help his own tears that fell as he buried his face in her hair.