Roxanne pinched the bridge of her nose and closed her eyes, scrunching up her face as she considered her options. Wayne was out of town, and there was zero chance that Megamind wouldn't find out. In fact, depending on how long he had been gone, he might already know.
And Wayne could have been gone as much as a week, she mused, realizing she hadn't seen him since the last kidnapping. That wasn't particularly unusual, but it suddenly seemed very ominous. What had he been thinking? Maybe he left while Megamind was in jail, but it wasn't like that had ever held him before. Well, one thing was certain; when this was all over, she was giving that floating doofus a very stern lecture.
The more pressing matter, however, was finding a safe place to ride out this week's evil plan. It's not like she was particularly concerned about being harmed, but if Wayne wasn't there to rescue her she'd probably end up staying in the Evil Lair for days. And last time that happened – she tried not to think about last time that happened. She could only be glad that neither of the durable duo had actually lost an eye.
Her best bet to minimize kidnapping time was probably to go home and hope he'd delay his plan until she left for work in the morning. Although she couldn't prove anything, she was 99% sure it wouldn't be the first time he'd waited on her behalf. He never seemed to kidnap her in the morning unless she'd gone to bed early the previous night.
With that in mind, Roxanne pulled up her scarf to cover her mouth and stepped out onto the snowy sidewalk. If she was lucky, she could make it to her apartment before Megamind's plot had even begun.
"Lady Luck is on our side this time, Min-yon!" Megamind grabbed one of his hench-fish's mechanical wrists and pulled him towards the battle suit rising out of the floor. Consisting mostly of gleaming titanium and reinforced plexiglass, it was nothing short of a work of art. Showmanship was incredibly important to Megamind, and it was a shame that few truly appreciated the dedication to form and function that went into each of his evil plans.
"It sure is, Sir," Minion agreed, luminescing a little as he and his supervillain looked up at the giant metal contraption. Nothing made him happier than seeing his charge enjoying himself. "Shall I get you the control suit so you can prepare to siege the city?"
Megamind smiled affectionately. "On top of things as always, my fulgent friend. Yes, get me my suit. Because once you do," He grabbed the brown fish's robotic shoulders, pulling himself up and smashing his face against the fish's tank, "Metrocity will be ours!"
"Yes, sir!" Minion saluted and waved over a group of brainbots who had been fighting over a wrench nearby. Megamind let go of his furry shoulders, instead turning to press his hands against the chassis of the battle suit. It was polished so well that he could see his large blue head reflected in it, distorted to appear even larger.
After only a few seconds had passed, a loud crash and the sick screech of metal on metal echoed through the Lair. Megamind jolted away from his newest invention, eyes growing wide in alarm.
"I'm okay!" Minion shouted from around the corner. Still, Megamind sprinted across the polished floors, almost tripping over his own feet, to verify with his own eyes that his lifelong friend was truly unharmed.
On the far wall, the entrance to Minion's sewing room had been completely desecrated. The thick soundproof door had been wrenched out of the wall, and most of it had ended up through Minion's robot body, which lay crumpled and motionless on the floor. Brainbots hovered guiltily around it, avoiding eye contact.
At the edge of this not-entirely-unusual scene, Minion's tank rested a few feet away from where it had once been attached. The glass was scratched, but it and its occupant were otherwise entirely intact.
In a few determined and suspiciously heroic bounds, Megamind navigated the debris on the floor to kneel beside his friend's tank. "Minyon!"
Minion fluttered his fins and flipped upright. "I'm alright, Sir, see? Just a chassis wound… eh, heh heh…" He glanced over at the wrecked suit lying on the floor. "Or not. Sorry, Sir."
"No, it is I who should be sorry, Minyon." Megamind rested a hand on the glass tank and Minion bumped it affectionately. "Clearly the latest batches of brainbots have failed to achieve the true potential that I designed them for- and," he stared at the floor and furrowed his brows, leaving his eyes in shadow, "I, criminal genius that I am… waited too long to correct this."
"You five- pay attention!" He cast a dramatic and furious glare at the floating robots. "Each one of you involved in this incident will be marked down for ree-medial training. 463, 576, 427, 525." He focused an especially scalding glare at the red-accented brainbot in the corner and spoke in a chiding tone. "Rouge. What have I told you about staying on-task during ee-vil plots? I made your memory banks, I know you remember. Go find 17, and don't leave their sight until I decide you've learned your lesson. Stop looking me like that, 17 is your senior and you could learn something from them. Go."
Thus humbled, all five sped off to avoid further reprimands from their very peeved father figure.
"What will we do now, Sir?" Minion asked somewhat sadly. "If we have to fix my suit, we'll never be able to get the plan started in time."
"Don't give up yet, Minion," Megamind reassured him, shifting to grab the tank and standing with it. "We still have your old suits, I think you'll still fit in some of them."
"But Sir, those suits aren't designed for this kind of inclement weather." His fins fluttered in agitation as the tank was carried back to the main workshop.
Normally Megamind would have been insulted at the implication that such a small factor would stop him, the Master of All Villainy, but right now his worry for his friend overrode his ego. Setting Minion on a table next to a satellite prototype, he responded: "That won't be a problem. We'll move to plan B- you monitor the operation from the lair and make sure the brainbots are refreshing their training as I told them to. I'll operate the suit as if nothing had changed."
"What about Ms. Ritchi?" the aquatic alien asked, looking up at his best friend from the tabletop.
Megamind's grin faltered for a moment. "Unfortunately, with your mobility compromised we'll have to take over City Hall first and kidnap her later." He forced the grin to return in full. "With Metro Man out of town, that'll take- what, an hour? Don't worry so much, Minyon." He turned quickly so Minion wouldn't see the expression of doubt overtaking his face. "I'll be right back with one of your old suits."
Having known Megamind since he was barely a week old, Minion could easily read the disappointment in his voice. "Of course, Sir. I'm not worried at all. In fact, I'll bet she'll be so impressed with you after this she'll – she'll finally admit the benefits of being Evil."
Sounding a little more cheerful, Megamind replied, "I certainly hope so, my Minyon."