Hal was an aggravating, sexist douchebag, but he had never seemed to actually have bad intentions so although Roxanne was seething for the rest of the night (ignoring his text in favor of telling her boss she was alright) and still angry on her way to work that morning, she made up her mind to meet him for lunch and try to talk him out of whatever he thought he knew.
Her boss, Erik Egilsson, met her at the door when she walked in. "Glad to see you're all right, Roxanne. I got your text about your escape, but it's still good to see you in person. We're going to film your statement now and air the story later this afternoon. Bring Hal and come see me as soon as you've put your stuff away." He turned around and started barking orders at someone else without waiting for a response. Typical. Well, Hal probably wouldn't be weird in front of their boss, so she might as well get moving. She'd have to be extra careful to keep her story straight, though.
It was a pretty slow morning, and she spent most of it filming the segment on Megamind's failed plot, her 'escape', and the 'attempted citizen's arrest' that had happened at City Hall. It was only years of experience staying professional in front of the camera that allowed her to keep her murderous rage inside her heart instead of on her face. Roxanne understood that the civilian population hated and feared Megamind, and that was fair; he caused a lot of property damage and traffic delays, but he rarely endangered civilians and never actually targeted them! (She didn't count, she was a damsel.)
Hal was unusually quiet between shots, but he kept sending her knowing looks when the lighting and tech people weren't paying attention. She was almost relieved when it was time for their lunch break, just because she could finally tell him to cut it out.
He was in front of her in a flash the second she clocked out, holding her bag. "Got your bag for you. Hey, I texted you yesterday, did you get my text? Cause I figured maybe you hadn't seen it, you know, since you didn't say anything. I sent, like, a couple actually. Maybe I should have called-"
Roxanne snatched her bag from him, holding it close to her. She cut him off before his rambling could spiral into ranting. "I got it Hal, I just thought we should talk in person."
His eyes got big and he glanced around skittishly before nodding rapidly at her. "Uh-huh, yeah, for sure. Coffee? Let's go to the coffee shop and talk about it." Before she could tell him there was nothing to talk about, he was already out the door.
It was Hal's usual coffee shop. When the two of them were out in the van filming late-evening segments, he would always insist they both get drinks here. If she wasn't paying attention, he'd order her a latte even though he should know by now she liked her coffee black. The guy was a good cameraman, but he never seemed to listen to anyone besides their boss.
She should have remembered that before 'agreeing' to talk over coffee.
They sat at a table on the coffee shop's patio. Roxanne had insisted they take the one closest to the back alley; no one wanted to sit there because of its proximity to the dumpsters, so if they were lucky no one would look their way much either. Well, maybe if she was lucky – Hal had never cared much about discretion before, and he wasn't the one whose reputation was at stake. …Now she felt worse. Great.
Hal loudly slurped his drink through a straw. Yes, he had ordered a smoothie instead of coffee; yes, he had specifically asked for two straws; and no, he hadn't offered to share with Roxanne, but she was tense knowing he must be planning to.
He set his cup down. "Hey, so Roxaroo, I'm… super worried about you? You could get in a lot of trouble for, like, aiding and abetting." He gave her a meaningful look, but she didn't understand what actual point he was trying to make.
Maybe playing innocent was the best tack. She was good at feigning surprise, it added drama to reports sometimes. "Yeah, you texted me some weird thing about helping Megamind? I wanted to know what you meant. Minion kidnapped me not too long after you left, I think I was knocked out during the. Citizen's arrest." It still took her a lot of willpower to say that without gritted teeth.
Hal seemed confused for a moment, but he resolved it pretty fast. "Right, that's your alibi, we filmed it this morning. But I saw you on TV? Wearing that red coat with the burn hole in the back?"
Damn it, how did he remember inane details like that yet still order her the wrong coffee every time? It was her coat, and she had forgotten until now. It had been Hal's fault; he had been late to work and they'd immediately been sent off to report on a fire. She jumped out of the car at a crosswalk to get a head start, and while she was asking around for witnesses he'd parked the news van right next to a burning building, grabbed the camera, and left the back open. When the roof collapsed, embers had gotten everywhere. The red coat, not dressy enough for TV, had been the least expensive casualty – there was a lot of equipment in the van when its carpet caught fire.
She pretended she had simply been confused by his question. "Right, of course. I just didn't see what there was to talk about."
He had been opening his mouth to speak, and froze with his jaw open for a second. "Talk about? What about, uh, why would you do that? Did he, like, make you?" Hal excitedly put his hands down on the table. "Blink twice if he's remote controlling your body."
Roxanne rolled her eyes and pointedly did not blink. "I don't have to be under mind control to take a stand against kicking a man while he's down." Almost literally, in fact.
He frowned. "But it wasn't a man. It was Megamind. Won't your boyfriend be upset if he hears you helped his worst enemy?"
She paused to sip her coffee, jaw tight. Not a man? Roxanne really hoped he had meant 'not just any man' but had a sinking feeling that he actually meant 'not a person.' But if she confronted him about that she would probably end up breaking something, most likely Hal's face, and she would definitely get docked pay for that at the very least. It was still tempting. Nonetheless, she managed to ignore him. She didn't know for sure that he had meant it like that, after all.
"Well, I certainly hope Wayne would agree with my stance against public execution without trial," she said, staring Hal down, "but either way, it doesn't matter what he thinks. I am my own person and his fame doesn't mean he gets a say in what choices I make."
"But, he like, rescues you." Hal said with clear confusion. "He's your boyfriend and your superhero, you have to listen to him."
Losing her composure, Roxanne started to snap, "He is not-" and then cut herself off when Hal's expression became a little more attentive than she was comfortable with, remembering the public assumptions that she and Wayne had agreed not to challenge. "The boss of me. He is not in charge of my life and neither are you, Hal. I'd very much… appreciate it," she gritted out, "if you would refrain from judging my goddamned life choices."
He wasn't dissuaded. "Hey, not judging, not judging! Just, you know, that guy is bad news, Roxanne. If you give him the chance he could do a lot of horrible things to you. I'm just worried. Like, I don't want to tell Metro Man about this but if that's what it takes to keep you safe I totally will."
"If he wanted to hurt me he's had plenty of opportunity. But he hasn't! I'm more like bait than a hostage, really – and again, I don't care what Wayne thinks."
"Okay… weird, but okay. I still can't let you get hurt, Roxaroo. If you're putting yourself in danger, I should talk to someone about protecting you. The police, maybe, or Mr. Egilsson."
He was going to tell the police? Tell their boss? That wasn't an offer of protection, that was a threat to get her fired and arrested. Maybe arrested first, and then fired because she was in jail – the absolute destruction of her reputation would drag the station down with her unless they publicly cut ties. Hal couldn't possible fail to realize that. So what was he trying to do here?
"Hal, are you trying to blackmail me into something?"
He backpedaled. "No, of course not, no way! Just. Saying that you should stay away from that guy. He's a villain! The kidnappings are bad enough, any more than that and you're going to get people hurt." He leaned back, seeming confident that his point was made despite not actually having a damn thing to support his argument.
Going to get people hurt?
Her mind flashed back to the night before. The shouting in the city square, the snowballs that had been packed into ice and thrown with murderous intent. Megamind had looked so small, crouching in the snow, hadn't offered any resistance when she'd picked him up and carried him away. But suure. Being around Megamind was what would 'get people hurt'. Her report today, when it aired, was going to call the assault a citizen's arrest; she had been instructed to discourage future attempts but praise their 'civic-minded' attitude. Hopefully the way she felt about that hadn't shown on her face- it probably hadn't, one of the crew would have said something.
The phrase kept repeating in her head. Going to get people hurt.
Roxanne wasn't often assigned to investigative reporting, but she loved it, and she had picked up plenty of useful legal tidbits over the years. Citizen's arrests were well established in common law, with plenty of precedent cases despite the lack of relevant statutes. Even if Megamind wasn't a supervillain, any court would agree that a citizen's arrest was justified: he had clearly committed felony property damage, was in possession of at least two weapons (the de-gun and the robot), and although Roxanne had found no evidence that anyone had actually said they were making a citizen's arrest she knew that in practice it didn't matter. An attorney would have no trouble arguing that it should have been obvious under the circumstances.
Similarly, no one would even bother to challenge the necessity of using force. Roxanne was a little bitter about this. Sure, Megamind was impossible to detain without someone (and someone of course meant Metro Man) at least holding him still long enough to get the cuffs on. But reasonable force was one thing; this had been potentially lethal force, recklessly initiated in a crowded area, by far more people than an arrest called for. Moreover, they had not let up even after the victim had stopped moving. If it were anyone else, at least a few people would have been arrested on charges of assault and battery.
But of course, it wasn't anyone else. Being a criminal who possessed dangerous abilities beyond human normal, a predilection to use them, and an uncanny tendency to escape both pursuit and imprisonment, Megamind had been classified as a supervillain and thus operated under a somewhat different set of laws. Legal status as a supervillain meant he could be tried in absentia, with a jury that probably wouldn't consist of his peers (even if there were twelve civilian metahumans in the area, which was unlikely, odds were that most of them were closeted).
He did still have rights, and the case would be tried outside of Metro to minimize bias, but it wouldn't help much. Metro City was where the jobs were. Everyone in the state had been affected by a battle, or knew someone who had, and last year public opinion had hit a record low after the nightmare-inducing wail of the Civil Offense Siren had shattered almost everything made of glass within twenty miles. How it had done this without giving everyone in the city permanent hearing damage was unclear, but Roxanne was guessing that the huge speaker had been a decoy: the actual siren must have been broadcast through a wide network of smaller speakers. Mounted on brainbots, maybe.
That plot had actually put Wayne out of commission for weeks afterward, but thanks to the chaos no one had noticed. Even Megamind had been too distraught over the damage to realize his rival had been reading lips during the arrest: and the interview, which they had done live a couple days after the initial report.
While she was thinking about reports, what would today's look like from Megamind and Minion's point of view? (Assuming they watched it. It seemed probable, since Megamind's memory seemed patchy and Minion hadn't been present.) Would they think the words were her own? Would it seem like she had lied last night, making them question what her motive had been?
Would Megamind be hurt, watching her tell everyone on live TV that she was glad he'd been attacked? She thought of the emotions he'd displayed in her apartment, the tone of his voice when he said he didn't know why she put up with him.
…She hoped he knew her reports didn't always align with her opinions.
Roxanne stood up, taking her coffee with her. "This conversation is over, Hal."
"Aw, come on Roxaroo, you still haven't said whether-" He shut up when he got a look at her unsmiling face.
Honestly, she had no idea what expression she was making, except that it wasn't one of the ones she'd carefully crafted for the camera. Well, if it taught her relentlessly obnoxious cameraman when to drop a subject, she should consider adding it to the repertoire. "Goodbye, Hal." She walked away faster than she normally would have, tuning out his vague, confused objections. When she was out of sight her hands clenched into tight fists.
Which exploded her coffee cup, staining her shirt. Oops. At least this gave her an excuse to prolong her lunch break; she'd recently used the last of her emergency outfit changes (a necessity for an active damsel, especially one who went on camera for a living) so she would have to go grab a new one. Ideally soon, because the coffee had still been pretty hot. Roxanne exhaled sharply through the pain and started speedwalking toward her apartment.