Deplorability 2.2

I stood facing the bar that held some of the worst people alive, silently wondering if my decision to leave school to come here held any water.

After all, these guys are as big as bullies as Emma, Sophia, or Madison. Yet I was running to them like they were my best friends. I just couldn't go home, that's all. This was the only place I could go.

I thought about Frank telling Dennis to put the baby in the dumpster, about Dee and Mac painting that baby so it could appear in a fucking gerbert commercial or something, and Dennis…and I… ruining that guy's life…

Did I really want to do this…

Biting my tongue. I cursed myself and walked into the bar.

Walking in, I don't see how I saw it as a refuge. It was as dirty and grimy as before, with crumbs on the floor and moldy spots on the ceiling. And only two customers in the whole bar. No wonder these guys decided to go to a life of crime. This was really horrendous.

"Charlie, give me my fucking taser," Dennis said with his hand out.

Charlie pointed at him. "Hey man, you took the sword from me, now I take your taser."

"It wasn't your sword, Charlie, it was mine," Frank argued.

"I'm the one the found it!" Charlie's voice was getting higher. "What makes it yours!?"

"Well, it was going to be mine. After I stole it."

"Well, I paid for my shit," Dennis argued. "Which means I should be the one that keeps it!"

"Dennis, I don't think you're one that asks for anything," Dee said.

"Don't defend him, Dee! He's the one that stole our Gerber baby!" Mac turned to Charlie. "Do you know how big we were going to make him?"

"Oh yeah, like, people wouldn't see the painted brown baby and immediately call child services anyway," Dennis said.

"Don't come at me, bro! I'm on your side!"

The arguing continued until they were a bunch of overlapping voices talking to each other. I decided to make my presence known.

"Excuse me."

No answer.

"Excuse me."

Still no answer.

"HEY!"

Everyone turned to me.

I immediately felt awkward. Maybe I wasn't used to yelling. "Hi?"

Frank simply smiled with a closed mouth. "Hey, Taylor. What're doing here? Isn't it a school day?"

"Ummm…we had a half-day."

Frank tilted his head. "Taylor, you can't lie to me with my power."

Shit. I forgot about his power. Super deductive reasoning, if I recall correctly.

"Uhhhh…Ummmm…"

"You wanted to get away from school."

I looked down, my anxiety rising. Every second I spent with him was a second he could figure me out. Should I even bother lying? Wouldn't he figure it out?

I decided to nip it in the bud, and said, "Yeah, I did."

"Well…that's great!" Mac said. "I mean…Hey, maybe you can-" He looked around and signaled me to get closer, and whispered, "Maybe you can drop out of school and become a villain full-time like Charlie did!"

"Ummm…technically, we weren't villains at the time," Dee said.

"Shhh! Not now, you Bitch!"

Should I care about them bullying Dee? She was terrible, but I felt like no one deserved that.

"So come on, why don't you do that?"

" I just…can't…"

"Really? Funny…Cause I would think that a supervillain would do anything to gain more money and power."

"I just don't want to disappoint my dad, that's all."

Frank raised his eyebrows. Why did he do that? Did he figure me out? I was starting to panic.

"Ahh," Dennis said. "The love of a parent. Classic thing that keeps the villain grounded and from going too far."

"I assume it's the same for you?"

"Oh, no. I just recognized that for villains. They have something grounded them, or else you become a twisted fucker, akin to The Slaughterhouse 9, or all got things grounding us. Y'know Family, Friends."

I assumed by us he meant villains. "What do you got grounding you?"

"Not having a kill order placed on me."

I raised an eyebrow. "That's it?"

Dennis's face scrunched up. "That's it?"

"What does she mean by that?" Dee said.

"That's a great reason!" Charlie added.

"Very weird," Mac said.

Before I opened my mouth to speak, I realized that I almost revealed myself as a superhero to these guys, if I did that. Who knows what they would fucking do to me.

"Maybe I just have a higher moral fiber, but that doesn't feel like a very compelling reason."

"Compelling?" Mac said.

"We're not writing a movie script or some shit!" Dennis projected.

"Although I am planning on becoming an actor," Dee said.

"Ugh shut up you Bitch! No one cares!"

You really need to dial it back." Mac made two circles with his hand. "It's getting pathetic."

"Wait," I held my hands out, "I thought you guys were villains?"

"Hey, that doesn't mean we can't get other careers so we can stop being villains!" Dee said. "Speaking of which, you should get started on work. Now that you're here."

I nodded. "Ok, but there's not a lot of customers here."

"Hey! That'll make it easier."

I nodded again. "Ok."

"Ok team!" Mac was speaking in a normal tone now. "Let's get to work!"

And with that, we split up to do our prospective jobs.

Two hours later

"So you want the whisky?" I asked.

"Yeah, I'll take the whisky, two glasses." the customer said.

Glass? "You don't want a shot?"

"Nope, a jug for me. Hope that's not too much."

Oh wow. "Ummm no sir. We'll get it to you as quickly as possible."

"And if not," Dee came in, leaning on me. She was the perfect height to do so, "Call me a pansy."

I slapped her arm. "Dee!"

She looked legitimately confused. "What?"

"You can't say that! It's, like, really offensive!"

"Oh come on Taylor, It's not like I'm saying gay people can't be married. I'm saying I would be a panies. And it's not like I'm calling anyone else that."

"I still don't like it."

"Well…Let's just get the damn drinks."

"Ok."

Me and Dee walked away to get the drink. Going up to Mac.

I spoke first. "Hey, Mac?"

He turned around while cleaning the glass. "Yeah?"

"Two Whiskeys. Two jugs."

"For one person?"

I nodded.

"Damn. That is badass."

"You don't think it's too much?"

"Of course not! I have managed to drink three whiskeys in one sitting. Because I can hold my liquor. The guy is probably the same."

"When have you ingested that many beers?" Dee questioned.

"I'll have you know, Dee, that's the standard for me when I drink. You just never notice because you never care to ask."

Dennis, on the other end of the bar, simply rolled his eyes at that.

"Mac, every time I see you drink, it's from a bottle. And It's always some soft-ass shit. Never whiskey."

"That's just what I drink around you in order not to intimidate you. We know how women are always scared of drunk men."

"Oh, really?"

"Yeah? It's-"

"Oh, really?"

"-how I work! I'm a nice guy!"

I gripped my notepad harder when he said that. How do you paint a baby, giving it a blackface, try to put it in a tanning bed, and still think you're fucking nice?

"You think you're so nice?" I asked.

"Yes, Taylor."

"Then do me a favor. Drink two whiskeys and prove you can."

Mac gave me a 'you're being stupid look.' "How…how does that prove I'm nice?"

"What's wrong Mac?" Dee smugly said. "I thought you could hold your liquor."

"I can!"

"Then drink two whiskeys," I said. "Shouldn't be too hard, right?"

"Yeah bro," Dennis said. "You can do it. Whiskey is a real man's drink. And You're a real man. So what's the problem?"

Mac looked at Dennis. Then us. Then back at Dennis. "Y'know what?" He looked back at us. "There isn't one. I'll drink the whiskey."

I smirked. "Thank you, but give me a jug for the man first."

"Taylor, I don't give a flying fuck about the man who wants the two jugs. I need to prove that I can do this."

"Ugh, fine. Dennis?"

"What is with teenagers and petulance? I want to see this."

I'm petulant because I want to give the guy his drink?"

"Dee?"'

She brushed me off.

"Ok fine. I'll get it myself."

"Ok," Dennis said.

"Have fun," Dee said.

As Mac chugged the first whiskey, I went to get the first whiskey for the man. Ugh. I hated the smell of this stuff. It wasn't like it had a bad smell. It was just extremely strong. Like smelling two dozen markers all at once. It was too much. I already felt uncomfortable around alcohol. I didn't need to smell it. All they had to do was get the drink. It's their job. I didn't understand what was so hard about that.

"Hey, guys!" Charlie came into the bar from the basement and came to me, holding his 'ali baba' sword that was covered in blood. "You will not believe how many rats I killed with this thing."

I stepped back after he said that.

"Oh come on! It's not bad! It's just a little rat blood. Having it on my sword makes me feel like a badass! Oh, I could just lick the blood off this."

"Please don't."

He did it. Then immediately spat it out. "Ok…Rat blood…not very nutritious.

"Really?" I said. "Never would've guessed."

Charlie continued to spit out blood from the sword while Mac finished chugging his first jug.

"Ha! One down mothafukers!"

"Oh, getting a little woozy aren't ya?" Dee snarked.

"Shut up!"

"Well, what are you waiting for?" Dennis prepared another drink for Mac. "Hurry up…and drink…another…jug."

Mac quickly got to work on the second jug.

I decided now would be as good a time as any. "So I want to talk about the boss."

"You mean Frank?" Charlie asked.

"No, you're 'other' boss. Y'know the one for your other deeds…"

Charlie didn't get it, But Dennis did. "Oh, that guy isn't a boss. He's an associate of Frank's that we help and that we have help from. A mutually beneficial relationship. If you will."

"What does he do?"

"We don't know," Dee told me. "All we know is that-" Dee looked around and came closer to me and whispered, "-Is that whether he talks to Frank, Frank knows what to do. Dennis and Mac theorize it's some thinker bullshit."

"So that's it. We just have some mysterious corrupt boss that no one knows, not even his name, much less his power?"

"Taylor." Mac slurred. "Sometimes you have to realize…that things…die…and those things die because they get hit…and no one is going to hit you as hard as life…but it's not how hard you can hit…it's how hard you get hit and keep coming back up!...that's how winning is done!"

I stared blankly. "What?"

"Frank is a child molester."

What!?

Dennis immediately ran towards him. "WOAH, WOAH WOAH! WOAH! WHAT!? FRANK IS NOT A CHILD MOLESTER!?"

"Oh, it's because Frank likes Taylor," Dee said.

"AND THAT MAKES HIM A CHILD MOLESTER!?" Dennis looked back at the customers and smiled.

Wait, he likes me? I felt my stomach turn.

"Ummmm…what do you mean by 'Frank likes me'"

"Oh you should know!" Dee said. "He hugged you. Of course, I doubt he wants to bang you though."

I know I definitely shouldn't have taken that as an insult. But I couldn't help but feel a little hurt by that.

"Oh, whatever." Mac slurred. "I'm done with my second whisky. I won!"

"Oh, perfect!" Dennis said.

"So you won?" Dee asked.

"Yes, I-"

"You did-"

"-won!"

"-a good job?"

"Yes, I did!"

"Well, that's great!" Dennis said. "That's-"

"Reall- " Dee spoke.

"-perfect!"

"-great!"

"Just one problem though."

"Just one."

"You agreed to drink three jugs."

"Mac eyes went wide. "I did?"

"Uh-huh." Dee lied.

"Yeah you did," Dennis said. "So…I expect…you…to drink up." Dennis gave him another jug.

Mac took it. "Fine!" He started to jug.

"Right so…About this partner of ours…" I walked towards them to whisper. Charlie followed. "What job does he have us do?"

"Oh Y'know." Dennis tried to think. "Robbing a casino, attacking a supervillain."

"And this!" Frank came bursting in from the backway, laughing all the while. "Pull up socks, douchebags! We're robbing a bank!"

Everyone stared at him. Until Charlie said. "Not again!"

Then Mac passed out.

"Probably…shouldn't have done that…" Dennis said.

Author notes: Here's the next chapter! Hope you enjoy it!

I'm going to get the next chapter ready in about three or four days, so strap your boots for that.

Also, I want to make it known. that I made some updates to my site, TheUltimateWriting, be sure to check it out if you want to find a show with the in-depth world-building of Worm, and the satire of South Park and It's Always Sunny. I'll be making updates regularly. I'm planning on updating the timeline to make it even more in-depth. Check it out if you like my writing!

That's all I had to say. This is Super Ultimate Number One, signing out. Peace!