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Living with Starfire was not what I anticipated. It was strange to have an enemy among us, of course. Though this version of Starfire was quiet, a trait I had not identified with her previously. She did not often speak, she spoke to me more than anyone. Though she asked questions once in a while, she often was content to just watch tv. We steered her clear of the news and set her up on a documentary channel so she could learn certain things without needing to ask us.
Though it was obvious this version of Starfire had some unresolved trauma. Join the club. She jumped and had a starbolt ready at loud noises, she slept tucked into corners of a wall in a ball, she didn't like being approached from behind. I assumed she had gone through some serious work with Titan money to achieve her prior state. Or maybe she just trusted them more.
The level of trust in the house had been low. She seemed to cling to me most, she and Kyd Wykkyd coexisted each other with more nonverbal cues. Seemore and her had some conversations, but she usually ended them quickly. Gizmo for the most part ignored her presence and she avoided him. She stared at Mammoth sometimes before shaking her head. Her head still was bleeding, we had no clue why it was refusing to scab up. She said she just needed to eat more to compensate.
If I was not used to Mammoth's eating habits I would have been blown away by the quantity of food she was able to take down in one sitting and still remain her size. Though if she was making blood constantly it only made sense. She always thanked us for food, even if it was not fantastic quality. It appeared she was still suffering from some food insecurity.
She had growled a few times when someone had tried to take anything she claimed as hers, a plate of watermelon had lead to an incident between her and Gizmo. He ignored her growl and very mockingly ate a piece in front of her. She grabbed him put a towel over his face and put him under the running sink. It took me a moment to realize what she was doing and turned the water off and told her to drop him. She had stared off at the wall for a while after, but it had spooked all of us. She could flip a switch and hurt us, bad.
Seemore and Wykkyd were going through the papers Gizmo had found and was strategizing the best way to use her. She seemed to buy the story we had saved her and kept her, enough. We had convinced her she did not have many possessions when we found her and she normally wore the uniform that was in tatters. Kyd had gotten her a few sun dresses that Angel cast off. The fit was not perfect, but it was better than what she was wearing before.
She needed sunlight to recharge her abilities so often we would let her sit on the roof. We had convinced her that if she strayed people would find her and take her back. Seemore was good at manipulating her clear fears of returning to the prisons and losing safety. Though things weren't where any of us wanted. We either needed to give her back sooner rather than later or figure out how we were all going to coexist. The house was too tense at the current level. Perhaps that's why I let Seemore take out his stores of liquor.
"This is going to go bad." I said as I started to find glasses. Drunk Mammoth was enough of a problem child. Having a mentally unhinged alien under the influence seemed stupid in my eyes. Though I knew I needed a bit of a chill evening myself. I had been trading babysitting duties with Mammoth. He was watching her in his room. He seemed to enjoy her company more than I initially expected. Though it was probably since she didn't insult him at every word he spoke.
"It'll be fine, everyone deserves a night off. You especially deserve a heavy pour, Jinxy." He said as he waved a bottle around like a winning lottery ticket.
"Fuck off." I said without much heat. I wasn't going to say no to a drink or two tonight.
"I'm kind of interested in how she acts with a few drinks in her." Seemore admitted.
"I think it might take more than a few to get her interested in you." I said with more of a tone I knew what he was hoping for. He only got some on a few occasions when a chick was past buzz. I didn't like it or approve, but he was not my responsibility. I looked out for myself and them on the field.
"Eh at least she's plenty to look at." He said and I knew he was stressed himself. "I didn't think she would be like this. She seems all sad and shit."
"I mean would you be happy with metal in your head and your most recent memories being whatever space prison was like? I think she's probably pretty fucked up mentally and with her injury not healing she's on defense." I explained knowing he was still balancing her usefulness.
"It's not going to come out. I ran an x-ray on her head and I don't think it's possible to get it out without like a world class surgeon. It's gnarly and she knows." He admitted and I assumed he had used that level of his vision.
"Shit, have you taken that into effect of giving her back to the Titans? If she's going to.." I wasn't able to say anymore since Mammoth's door opened. She had braided her hair in a way that obscured the bandages and metal shard, though she had a purple streak in her hair from her hair being stained by the blue blood. She also had Mammoth's largest snake wrapped around her shoulders and down her arm. He had a number of snakes since they were more his speed for a pet. He had three at the moment since not all of them make it long term. The snake on her shoulders was his oldest one and I actually remembered their name was diamond. She seemed very content to have a snake wrapped around her as she was lightly petting the head and having a little smile on her face. Mammoth walked out and I saw he was also victim to her braiding. I couldn't hold back a snort.
"I have another snake she can stroke." I heard Seemore mutter and my foot connected with his shin. It was one of the few moments she seemed at peace and happy. I wasn't exactly happy here myself, but at least she was easily entertained.
"Diamond likes her." Mammoth said as he came our way drawn to the alcohol.
"Well she's basically a walking sunlamp so it makes sense." I said and poured him a cup knowing it was better to pour until I was at my limit to prevent mess.
"Did you get catch by the braiding train?" Seemore asked though I would argue it made him look more like a Viking than a little girl.
"Whatever." Mammoth responded and shook his hair out. "She's actually not bad company when she's not being annoying." I was sure annoying was when she wasn't kicking his but. She was very much so ignoring us watching the sunset from a window while the snake continued to travel around her. I was not a fan of snakes.
"You're just happy there's another person in the house with brain damage." Gizmo said coming from the garage/lab. He was not speaking to her since the whole watermelon incident. He wasn't stupid, he knew when to retreat. Unhinged Starfire was not worth having an altercation with he learned.
"I'm pretty sure she can fix that. Candy, come get a drink!" Mammoth called over to Starfire waving her over even though she was in the same room.
"Candy?" We asked in unison since that was a new nickname. How the fuck did that fit?
"She's sweet." He answered simply as she made her way over to him still seeming more than content with having a snake scarf.
"You went vampire didn't you?" Seemore asked and he didn't answer. That was enough of an answer. Gross. Though I hated the fact I knew he was telling the truth since she had gotten blood in my mouth.
"You're lucky if you don't get sick." Gizmo said and got his own drink giving space when Starfire came closer and read the bottle of vodka. She scrunched her brows before reaching for a notebook of Seemore's. He seemed to always have them lying about. She drew something that reminded me of a sunflower with letters before showing it to Seemore.
"This is correct right?" She asked pointing at the bottle. He squinted his eye and chuckled deeply.
"Yes, I didn't take you for a chemistry nerd." He said and poured her a cup which she seemed more comfortable taking.
"It is hard to make poisons without a chemistry background." She said with a shrug which caused Diamond to change paths and start to retract closer to her chest and neck.
"So you also make poisons?" Seemore said taking that down that note in the notebook she drew the chemical formula in.
"Well that excludes you from cooking duty." I said under my breath. Though she certainly heard me as her eyes landed on mine.
"Why would I want to cook when you do it so well?" She asked me in French. After she discovered none of my teammates could speak it sometimes she would use it to ask questions about them or just in general. It was always interesting to test my brain since I had no one to practice it with. While my cooking was nothing to brag about, it was edible. More edible than most of the things she would eat to her own devices.
I was conflicted with how I felt about Starfire. It was unsettling to have her here, but I appreciated some of her habits. She guarded the bathroom door when I took showers, she was polite, and she was helpful whenever I needed help. She also talked at a much easier rate for me to deal with compared to previous Starfire. Though it was wrong to have her here, as it was wrong for me to be on the other side. Even if she was somewhat more dangerous and morally grey than I expected she didn't belong here by any stretch.
She took a sip tentatively and we all watched curious if she would cough or make a funny face as most amateurs were prone to. Though she simply scrunched her nose after taking her first sip before going back in.
"Lame." Gizmo said as he was likely wanting her to cough or suffer in some way.
"Have you had this before?" I asked since there seemed to be more practice. She tilted her glass so she finished off everything before responding.
"Tamaranian beverages are often more alcoholic when we undergo droughts or war since it is safer than questionable water." She explained and poured herself a little more in her glass. "It is a nice feeling down my throat." This caused Seemore to sputter in his gulp. I almost felt bad for the perv, but I knew it was good for him.
"It's better with this." Mammoth poured some coke into her glass and I guess they were buddy buddy now. She clinked glasses with his when he raised it up.
"Did they fuck?" Gizmo asked me and Seemore. Now it was my turn to choke on my sip. Mammoth was strangely uninterested in sex and Starfire had been more of a robot. Though it would explain their sudden closeness I really didn't want it to be so.
"No." This came from Kyd Wykkyd that was suddenly part of the group. He took a look at the beverages and just poured straight coke for himself. He didn't drink alcohol except for forced obligations since he was quite a light weight. He was all knowing so I didn't question how he knew, but she didn't look at him how she looked at Robin.
"I don't want to know if they do." I gave as a statement, which got a laugh from everyone besides the two in question as they disappeared to put Diamond away.
"Same, it's going to be bad if he gets attached." Gizmo commented. He had witnessed the blow back rage of Mammoth's attachment issues. It was often messy.
"They're both projecting." Kyd Wykkyd said with his monotone. "Mammoth sees his little sister and Starfire whoever this Galfore is." She had accidently called him Galfore enough for everyone to notice. That actually made much more sense. Shimmer had been deep in the prison system for a few years now and Starfire from what I remembered could have passing resemblance. Fucking Red heads and their bonding abilities. I wondered if Mammoth even remembered clearly what she looked like.
"Fuck, that's definitely going to be a problem." Seemore said and wrote something down in a different notebook that had to be dedicated to the Starfire situation. "Though if she listens to him, we can use that. She'll listen to him and Jinx, I still need her to trust one of us." He pointed a finger between him and Wykkyd. Kyd shrugged and sauntered off to his room. Well that left the answer of who would need to get closer. Kyd was interested in the plan, but not in handling her more than necessary. I'm sure Angel was of the same mind. Gizmo was a lost cause, no point pulling teeth.
"I give her food, he gives her pets, just find something you can give her." I gave as advice and poured myself another cup as Mammoth's door opened up again. He downed his cup and fixed his shirt. Uh oh maybe I gave him the wrong idea since I know exactly where his head went.
"We should play a game." Seemore says and I had a feeling this was not going to end well. I ended up popping some frozen fries and chicken in the oven so at least we would have snacks for whatever train wreck was about to pass.
"Not truth or dare." Mammoth said and it was likely best to set that as a ground rule every time that suggestion was made. He and Starfire had settled on the couch as he started skimming for some background noise.
"We can try doing some quid pro quo." That was not a real game, but Starfire wouldn't know that and Mammoth was enough of a sheep to follow along. "Who's in?"
"Why not." Gizmo said first which was surprising, but I knew while he might retreat, he retreated for revenge. He wanted dirt and to be able to bury her under it at a later date.
"Sure." I responded and caught Seemore's signal to grab booze and shot glasses.
"I'm down." Mammoth and Starfire must of given some nod, but I wasn't looking directly at her gathering supplies.
"Can you explain the rules?" I heard Starfire ask which was expected. She was a poor fly into a spider webs trap.
"Sure thing, Sweet Thing." Seemore must of decided to play off Mammoth's newly developed goodwill and nickname. "Basically you are asked a question and you either answer it or take a shot for a point. Chicken out and you don't get a point"
"How do you win? Most games have a winner, at least most games I played. Do we get to cut off toes of the losers?" I think all of us checked her toes with that last statement. She had all ten, did she start off with more? It didn't look like it. She must have been very good at winning. I heard Seemore's gulp at the sudden knowledge she was likely competitive and good at most games she played.
"It's more a matter of pride. Winner whoever answers the most gets bragging rights and the losers don't." I interjected hoping to save everyone a little stress at playing with her. I sat next to Seemore giving Gizmo one more person as a buffer. I would kick him out if he went too far.
"I understand. What if you do not know an answer…I fear my memory gap may put me at a disadvantage." She asked and I could not help but notice the way she moved her hand towards her head.
"Just take a drink, we can give you a few more questions as a head start, Sweetness." Seemore was laying it on thicker than he put cream cheese on a bagel.
"We'll go easy on you." Gizmo said and I knew that the safest bet would be to get out of this situation. Though if I wanted a house to come back to I needed to make sure she didn't light it on fire.
"Okay, Starfire you first. What are you writing in that journal I gave you?" Seemore decided to throw out something easier to ask about. I had seen her write in it intermittently, but I had yet to spy myself.
"World domination." She said and when she didn't elaborate further, I decided to step in. Most people that would have been a joke, but that was not what she had been doing.
"Can you show us?" I asked likely using up a question.
"Go ahead." She moved the couch cushion she was sitting on that it was apparently stashed. She handed it to me and I passed it to Seemore. I went to get the food which was now needing to be taken out. She followed like a shadow and when I went to grab something out of the oven she used her bare hands to take out the pan. I expected to hear the simmer of burnt skin, but none came. I guess you didn't have fire in your name if you couldn't take the heat. She stole an equally hot chicken wing and ate it as she set the pan down on the stove top. The boys were distracted by her notebook. It apparently had pictures which caught Mammoths interest.
"Excellent." She complemented me. Though I didn't think I could ever get used to her eating the bones. I was debating teaching her table manners, but I didn't want to start if she was just going to be given back. That could be their job since they did so well the first time.
"Are you going to share or should I make more?" I asked since I was not in the mood to be injured over frozen food.
"I would appreciate if you made more. I can help." She said and reached down and grabbed enough pan. She went to the fridge and grabbed the bags I had taken out. She organized the pan in a way that ensured the max amount of food on the pan without touching. Though she was hesitant to place it on the oven for some reason. She started to and just froze. I ended up completing the exchange and setting the timer.
"Are you feeling okay?" I asked and looked at her curious if she was feeling the affect of the alcohol or just another weird alien moment. Though her darkening eyes told me plenty, they looked as if they were shifting in color to black like overblown pupils. "Your eyes." I waved a hand to see if she could see it.
"It is the drink, though if the lights could be reduced that would be preferable." She closed her eyes and leaned her torso on the island pawing around for food from the still hot pan.
"Yeah, sure." I said and went to the dimmer switch. I didn't want to lose all light, but I understood needing a break when my own eyes would become strained. "Do you feel any better?"
"This is the best I've felt since waking up on this planet. My pain is lessened a bit by the alcohol. A gaping wound and constant blood loss is quite uncomfortable." She said with nonchalance. She continued to munch on fries and chicken humming in delight.
"I thought you regenerated better." I said since it was odd she was not healing. It should at least scab around the metal.
"Normally yes, but with the metal it disrupts everything. It a variant of a metal I have a sensitivity towards. It could be much worse, but my skin won't grow to touch it. I do not have the experience to remove it safely so I must endure until an alternative is found." This was the most she had spoken without a threat involved. Maybe Seemore had the right idea with the alcohol and she admitted to feeling better.
"What the fuck…" We heard Gizmo exclaim and we turned over to where the sound of his louder than necessary voice. She grabbed the still hot pan and a bottle of mustard and ketchup for the food. I also dimmed the living room lights while she planted herself on the couch practically on Mammoth with how close they sat. I went back to my buffer spot separating her from Seemore and Gizmo. Both of them were staring at the notebook with a twist in their face.
"What?" I asked since I didn't care enough to read it myself.
"It could actually work…" Seemore said still being kind of dazed. "How did you?" He addressed Starfire who was blowing on a hot chicken wing before passing it to Mammoth.
"Sometimes the best way for me to understand something is to take it apart. I still need trade routes, geopolitical ties, domestic security and miscellaneous alliances for it to be certain of success, but it is a start." She said and stretched out with her head falling back against Mammoth as a pillow and her foot bumping against my leg.
"You're twisted." Gizmo said with some respect which was surprising in his tone. "Where did you even come up with this shit?"
"It's what I am trained to do. Fight, Conquer, Serve. That is the plan to limit casualties, if that is less of a concern the timeline is shortened by a fifth. It is just a rough draft and way I can understand you humans a bit better. You are confusing." She said and then I felt her wiggle her toes against my thigh and I scooted away from the contact reaching for a drink instead. I glanced at the plans and saw a mix of images and scattered English. I caught part of her plan was to release a series of asteriods at major military points and eliminate communications. Strong start, but there appeared to be more.
"So if you weren't here, you'd be taking over planets?" Seemore asked with a little more levity to his tone than necessary.
"I believe I shall take the alcohol instead of answer." She said and took a shot and I saw her eyes become voids of black.
"Are you competing with Seemore for freakiest eyes?" Gizmo asked to dig at both of them.
"Does he have normal eyes under his big one?" She asked and took a shot after a second when she realized she did not answer. The glass became lodged in her bosom as she did not put it back on the table as she was shifting positions. She moved with some unsteadiness and ended up kneeling in front of Seemore. She was so tall she was up to his chest when on the ground, but she lifted her arms towards his head. It was obvious she was reaching to take off his helmet so he took the steps to loosen it so it came off easily. She could probably take his head with it if he wasn't careful.
"Nice hat hair." Mammoth commented as he started to demolish on the cooling tray of snacks. Seemore had tugged Starfire up into his lap rather smoothly for him and she had slipped off his helmet so it laid off to the side. I had to give it to Seemore her voided eyes were extra unsettling and he just was all smiles with his filed teeth.
"Well that is disappointing." She said and I had part of my drink come out of my nose and Gizmo did a full spit take. The couch shook with Mammoths laugh at Seemore's expense. I almost felt bad since it was such a harsh rejection, but it was so damn funny. She did not move off his lap as it became obvious he had not expected such a remark. "I had a weird dream about eyes and I was hoping they were yours since they were the ones I had not scene. Though you look much more appealing with two eyes." Her ending compliment probably repaired his ego a little, but her first comment wasn't a good sign. If her dreams were memories then it would be dangerous to keep her convinced we were her only option.
"What else have you seen in your dreams?" I asked trying to figure out about what other things we had to explain away. She leaned back in a deep arch remaining in Seemores lap and grabbed the bottle to pour herself a shot instead of answering. Well if they were of things as innocent as eyes she wouldn't have anything to hide. Most of the time she slept in a protective ball so it was hard to imagine she was sleeping peacefully.
"I'll take it for you, sweet thing." He said and proceeded to pour into the mounted glass and pull her forward to drink. She seemed way more docile than normal as she just let him shift her around on her lap. Better her than me tonight, since that move wasn't even possible without padding and potentially socks.
"You are disgusting." Gizmo commented and averted his eyes. I was about to when she muttered something in French.
"Would you care if I killed him?" She asked me and I knew it was for my ears only with the language shift. Her body and tongue was loose due to the alcohol, but her danger level had not decreased. Though her question made me pause. I was not having an instant answer on my tongue.
"What did you say?" Seemore asked as he removed himself from his drink. His hair had gotten even more messed up.
"I wanted to keep playing the game so I asked her a question." She answered and there was a very deliberate glance my way from her as her hand landed on Seemore's collarbone just a hands length from his neck. I considered taking a drink instead of answering, but she was too volatile to not get a clear answer.
"I guess I would prefer if you didn't, any of them actually." I said and she seemed to be listening to me since she acknowledged me with a nod. I guess that was probably the right thing to establish since she had listened to me the most.
"Fine." She said and acted like she was completely innocent by moving her hand from striking distance to fixing Seemore's hopeless hair. "I suppose this is fun as well."
"Did she ask you if it was okay to sleep with us?" Mammoth asked now quite amused. He had been catching up in terms of intoxication. I decided this time it was fair to take a drink instead of answering. I would let Wykkyd know, but it would just kill the buzz now. There was a chuckle from everyone as I heard Seemore mutter something like "I don't mind." If only he knew. Starfire just gave one of her darker laughs.
"Who's Galfore?" This was Mammoth to Starfire which seemed fair to ask.
"He was my knorfka or I believe care taker would be the translation. He is similar to your height and has red hair which is why I accidentally called you him, you resemblance is passing. I do not know if he still lives." She answered with more warmth on the subject that most things though her hand drug down her face indicating a scar or disfigurement with her finger indicating he had one. It was hard to get back on track since her last part was quite a mood killer.
"Did you finish off the food already, Peabrain?" Gizmo asked Mammoth who had cleared up the plate with Starfire finding a new perch. A burp was enough of an answer.
"There's more in the oven." I answered not wanting a fight to break out over food. I was ready to get it so I didn't have to keep looking at the compromising position in front of me. I felt sick watching them for a multitude of reasons. She wasn't right in the head, and he was trying to manipulate her with alcohol to get her to fall into bed with him. Starfire jerked suddenly and I hadn't realized a hex had left my hand. She swiveled her gaze towards me with deep confusion in her features.
"Should I make another pan?" I asked her playing off like my slip was to get her attention. She shook her head and I caught Seemore's shit eating grin since he must have deluded himself I was jealous. When I stood up she shifted off Seemore and followed me. It was rather close where I felt tingles of awareness up my spine as she followed and I heard assorted mutters from the boys.
"Did I do something wrong?" She asked when we had enough distance we could have some privacy from eavesdropping.
"I rather you not murder them. Seemore is just gross to watch sometime, but I don't want anything bad to happen to him… he doesn't deserve." I said deciding she needed to be blunt with her. I leaned out a loud sigh as she just stared at me. She took out the pan when I lowered the oven door.
"I was not planning to kill him, I wanted to learn more about everyone. Though I will be more careful in touching them. Humans seem so fragile, I was just curious how much so. Seemore is just the most standard human as far as I can tell." She had set the pan down and then wrapped her arms around me. She was such a touchy feely drunk apparently. "I'm sorry, I do not want to upset you." Her touch was light at first and then increased in pressure when I didn't immediately shake her off.
"I get it, just play nice with them and we won't have any problems." I felt her chin fall atop of my head her face cradled between the points of my hair.
"You are aware nice is a rather new concept to me, but I will do whatever makes your life easier, Friend Jinx." I felt myself get tense at her last sentence. It was too sincere and she was too warm to be surrounding me right now. It was too nice of a gesture and sentiment even though she claimed she was inexperienced.
"You're too hot, let go." I said and let my elbow give her a nudge instead of another hex. "I know they're annoying, but if I haven't killed them yet, make sure you don't either."
"Fine." I heard her sigh before she let me go. I turned to look at her face and was surprised at the expression on her face. It was a smile too big and bright for a place like this.
We went back and asked little lighter questions that ended when she was asked a question about her family where she promptly finished off the rest of the bottle. She had settled into the crook of Mammoth's arm and played nice from what I could tell. Seemore was annoyed at the change of events, but I had drank enough not to care about his feelings. I guess I had drank more than I thought or needed more in my stomach since I started to drift off.
I was brought into more awareness by the sound of growling. A hand touched my leg and I heard a snarl like from the lion king.
"I'm just taking her to bed." I heard a voice I was pretty sure was Seemore.
"Will you leave her alone once you are there?" I heard a hard feminine voice ask with a snarl on the end. I groaned since I really just wanted to fall back to sleep.
"Will you?" I knew there was a lewd insinuation in his tone.
"If you are just looking for a bed partner we can make a deal, Seemore. I just want her to sleep peacefully and I do not trust you." Her tone did a 180 from a snarl to more of sultry offer even as though the last words she said weren't particularly inviting. I wasn't sure what he said after, but I felt a light slap where his hand had been and his weight leave the couch.
I felt like I was watching myself from a distance as I was scooped into strong arms and clutched towards a warm body. I wondered if this is what normal people had experienced growing up. I felt myself being set on my bed with hands very gently shifting me into a more comfortable position and a pillow being perfectly balanced under my head. I felt fingers work through my hair easing out all the pins used in my peaks for structure. I also lost my choker, bra, and socks, but those I realized after a blanket was thrown over me. She had been lightly humming the whole time and I realized she was done when I no longer heard it. She had left me in my leggings and dress and only put one blanket on top of me while tucking a pillow behind me so I could sleep on my side. I felt tears run down my cheeks even if I kept my eyes close. I was drunk, too drunk to deal with emotions right now.