Chapter 38 Summary: Naruto and Sakura haven't spoken to one another in months. Their reasons for this are two-fold, for Naruto it is out of anger, for Sakura it is out of fear. However, if time is to heal all wounds, they finally come together and have a long and most painful conversation about their relationship and the feelings born out of it within each of them.
Naruto vs. Sasuke: The Aftermath
Chapter 38: "The Long Sad Goodbye Pt.2"
"Nar, Naruto!"
"Yeah." Naruto replied, as he flicked on a lamp sitting on a table by the bed, which illuminated the room under a soft glow of light before adding.
"How are you doing…………Sakura?"
The pink-haired kunoichi could only stare at Naruto with shock, as she watched him pull up a chair next to her hospital bed and sit down in it. The myriad of emotions racing through Sakura upon seeing Naruto was almost too overwhelming for the young girl. On the one hand, Sakura was elated to see her former teammate and friend. Yet on the other hand, Sakura was also anxious as to why he was there? Memories of their last encounter here at the hospital where Naruto had almost died, to the words he had spoken outside of her room to Ino flashed through her mind in an instant, as Sakura felt her heart break a little bit more. The young kunoichi was broken out of her stupor by the sound of Naruto's voice and she hesitantly asked.
"Wha, what was that?"
"I asked how you were doing Sakura."
"I'm, I'm doing alright I guess Nar, Naruto." Sakura stammered nervously.
"That's good to hear. It's nice to see you without all those bandages on you, you look…..nice. I'll say this for baa-chan, she might be a drunken old hag, but she sure knows her medical jutsu's." Naruto commented while rubbing the back of his head with one hand uneasily, struggling to find the right words to carry on this conversation.
Sakura as well was equally uncertain as to what to say to her orange clad ex-teammate. She knew there were a million things she wanted to say to Naruto, but her throat felt suddenly dry, and her mind seemed unable to put together what she truly wanted to say and all Sakura could stammer out was.
"Why, why are you here Naruto?"
"Ummm, well like I said earlier, I wanted to talk to you."
"What, what did you want to talk about Naruto?" Sakura asked her voice tinged slightly with apprehension waiting for his answer.
"Us Sakura………..I wanted to talk about us."
"What, what about us Naruto?" Sakura said with dread, as she waited for Naruto to say to her face what he had said to Ino weeks ago. However, the pink-haired kunoichi was stunned beyond belief to hear the words Naruto then uttered.
"I'm sorry."
"You're, you're sorry Naruto?" Sakura stuttered in confusion, never expecting to hear those words from him. As well as believing deep in her heart she didn't deserve them.
"Yeah, It's my fault the teme was able to……….do what he did to you."
'He blames himself about what happened.' Sakura thought sadly to herself.
"If I had done what I should have back at the Valley of the End Sakura, you never would have gone through what you did to end up here."
"I don't understand Naruto?"
"When I found and fought Sasuke, the fight was tooth and nail the whole way. As hard as I fought to bring him back and keep my promise to you Sakura, he fought just as hard to leave and join up with that snake bastard."
Sakura winced at the mention of the promise Naruto had made when she had begged him to bring Sasuke back to her. She remembered the pained expression that flashed across his face as she sobbingly pleaded to him before he quickly covered it with his goofy smile, making his pledge to return the boy she thought she loved to her. It wasn't until later Sakura realized she had broken Naruto's heart by doing that, but by then it was too late.
"I tried and I tried to talk Sasuke out of leaving his friends, the village, of leaving you Sakura, but he just wouldn't listen. In the end, he began charging up his Chidori to a level I had never seen before and said he was going to kill me. Sasuke announced he had no choice, it was the only way he could attain the Mangekyou Sharingan. I responded by charging up my Rasengan and then he charged at me screaming the whole way. I then charged at him and when we met is when I choked and because of it you paid the price."
"What do you mean you choked Naruto?"
"I mean I had charged my Rasengan up to a point where I could have taken Sasuke out, maybe even killed him? I had a direct bead on his chest, but at the last possible instant, I pulled up and hit him in his forehead protector instead. I just couldn't go through with it and possibly kill him. Well, you saw the results of that brilliant maneuver on my part."
Sakura slightly shivered at the memory the ugly chest wound Naruto had shown her when she came to visit him after the retrieval mission. She looked over to see Naruto absently rubbing his chest and asked with remorse.
"Why did you pull up Naruto?"
"I pulled up Sakura because at the time I couldn't bear the thought of you hating me, which you would have if I had brought Sasuke back to you as a………corpse."
A tear rolled down Sakura's cheek, as she realized Naruto had nearly killed himself for her on the retrieval mission, all because of her obsession with that bastard Sasuke. It pained the young kunoichi greatly knowing that at one time Naruto loved her so much, he nearly gave up his life all in an effort to not hurt the boy she thought she loved just to make her happy.
"So, now do you understand why what happened to you is my fault? If I had followed through like a true Shinobi would have, instead of the failure you always said I was. Sasuke would be dead and would never have been able to commit the vile act he did against you Sakura." Naruto finishes saying, the regret evident in his voice.
"Naruto stop it! (Sob) Please stop it, what happened to me isn't your fault!" Sakura shouted out in remorse.
"Sakura I…….."
"No Naruto, please don't take the guilt of what happened to me onto your shoulders, you're not to blame. What Sasuke did and had done to me isn't even his fault. The only person to blame for what was done to me is me."
"Sakura, you don't really believe that do you?"
"It's true Naruto; the only person to blame is me. I was the one who chose to desert my friends, my family, and the Leaf village itself to be with Sasuke. And because of what I did, I deserved what happened to me. It was Kami's punishment for the sins I've committed in my life against everyone." Sakura declared before thinking to herself.
'Especially for the sins I've committed against you Naruto-kun.'
"Sakura, what the teme did to you, no one deserves to have happen no matter what sins you think you've committed. Don't you ever think that what happened is some divine retribution Kami handed out in judgment of you. The only person who Kami needs to judge is that son-of-a-bitch Uchiha and no one else!"
Sakura appreciated Naruto's kind words and zealous defense that she was not to blame. Even if she didn't believe it herself, it gave her hope that maybe Naruto didn't hate her, as she hesitantly asks.
"Naruto, do, do you hate me?"
"Wha, what, why would you think I hate you Sakura?" Naruto stammered, caught off-guard by her question.
"Be, because of what happened to Hinata. I, I overheard what you said to Ino a few weeks ago here at the hospital."
"Oh……." Naruto softly uttered, as his face took on a grim appearance before he continued on.
"I was angry that day Sakura. Actually I was angry everyday seeing Hinata-chan in the condition she was in. I'll admit I directed a lot of that anger onto you when ero-sennin told me how Sasuke knew to go after Hinata-chan to hurt me."
"Naruto, I'm so sorry, please forgive me, I didn't mean for that to hap………" Sakura began to say before stopping when Naruto held up his hand and she heard him say.
"It's alright Sakura; I know you didn't mean to do it. Baa-chan told me the circumstances of why you did it. It doesn't really matter now, I'm sure the teme would have learned soon enough about Hinata-chan anyways."
Sakura could only hang her head in shame and guilt as she listened to Naruto.
"I want you to know I don't blame you for what happened to Hinata-chan so there's nothing to forgive. To be angry at you for what happened to Hinata-chan would dishonor the noble sacrifice she made in saving both Kurenai and Kakashi-Sensei's lives. So, to answer your question, no…..I don't hate you."
Sakura felt a genuine smile grace her face for the first time in weeks, as her chest felt on fire from the sudden warmth of Naruto's statement that he didn't harbor ill feelings towards her.
"Thank you Naruto. When I get released from here and Lady Tsunade assigns us a new teammate the two of us with Kakashi-Sensei can start…….."
"No!"
Sakura's eyes widened in confusion at the single word he had just spoken interrupting her.
"What, what do you mean?" The pink-haired kunoichi questioned in a panic filled voice, as she felt her heart starting to sink once again.
"Things can never be as they were again."
Sakura didn't understand what Naruto meant, but the effect was still the same; as the cold tone of his statement was like kunai to her heart. She tried to say something but couldn't find the words, as the young kunoichi watched her former teammate rise from his chair and walk over to the hospital window and gaze out at the moon glowing in the nighttime sky through the rain. Sakura felt fresh tears begin to fall from her face when she uttered in complete defeat.
"I knew it, you really do hate me."
Naruto looked back to his weeping ex-teammate and sighed before saying in assurance.
"When I said I didn't hate you, I wasn't lying"
"Then why can't we still be friends?" Sakura pleaded while looking up to see his eyes but found that his gaze was still focused outside on the nighttime sky. After a minute of agonizing silence for Sakura from Naruto, he finally stated with sad regret.
"We can't still be friends Sakura because I don't think you were ever my friend in the first place. Also, I don't trust and I don't respect you anymore Sakura."
"Because of what Sasuke did to me!" Sakura shouted out in a wail, deeply hurt that Naruto would say something so cruel.
"No Sakura, it's got nothing to do with what Sasuke did to you! Don't you dare think I would ever judge or think less of someone because they were the victim of such a vile act!"
"Then why Naruto?"
"Because I'm angry with you Sakura, I'm sorry, but I just can't help it. I know what Sasuke did to you and I know you're suffering and in pain because of it. But right now when I think about the reason why you ended up as his victim, all I feel is rage. I just can't get it out of my mind that you were willing to betray everyone, willing to betray me just to be with that teme!
As Naruto glared at the weeping kunoichi, he closed his eyes and inwardly cursed at himself. He hadn't meant to lose his temper with Sakura for he truly did feel sorry for what had happened to his former crush at the hands of their ex-teammate. But Naruto also knew that the air needed to be cleared between him and Sakura if the two of them were ever going to be able to coexist with one another in the future. Exhaling a heavy sigh, Naruto spoke in a more subdued tone of voice this time.
"But more than being angry by what you did Sakura, I was hurt by it. I'm sorry Sakura, you probably think I'm a terrible person, but my loss of the trust and respect I once held for you has everything to do with the fact that you willingly chose to desert your friends, family, the Leaf village, and……..ME!
Naruto paused for a moment to inhale and try to collect himself before he added with regret.
"I meant what I said about not hating you and the anger I feel towards you will eventually fade away. But the hurt your betrayal did to me, I'm not certain how long it will take before that pain goes away.
Sakura couldn't even look at Naruto as he spoke. Everything he was saying was true and it cut her like a knife with every word he said. All she could do was hang her head low in shame and guilt crying. Naruto just stared at the young kunoichi that he use to care about with all his heart, and felt nothing at that moment. It was then he heard Sakura stammer out in a choked voice.
"I don't think you're a terrible person Naruto-kun. You have every right to feel the way you do. I wish I had realized before Sasuke left what wonderful person you really are Naruto-kun."
Naruto was taken aback in surprise by this statement. He had expected Sakura to deny or make up excuses as she had in the past for her actions against him. But now to hear the girl accept what he had said without argument and even attach the suffix kun to his name not only confused, but more importantly had angered him greatly. As there was only one individual she had ever used that suffix for in the past.
"Don't call me with that suffix Sakura! You haven't earned the right to call me that! You only ever used that term to refer to Sasuke and I'll be damned if you think I'm going to let you start calling me that now! I'm through being the second choice or consolation prize in your eyes now that the teme is gone!"
Sakura looks up at Naruto, her heart breaking into a thousand pieces at his words and openly crying stammers out.
"It, it isn't true, I never considered you a second choice or consolation prize to Sasuke. I, I only called you that because I'm your friend."
"Please Sakura, I don't know if you're lying to me or to yourself, but you've never considered me a friend. Not that I didn't try to be one to you. I did everything I could to prove to you that I was worthy of your friendship, only to be rejected time and time again. To you I was only the baka, the dead last, the annoying loser who interfered with you and Sasuke. I mean you certainly tried to enforce those statements with enough insults and punches to me to last a lifetime."
"I'm sorry Naruto-ku……….Naruto."
"You don't have to apologize Sakura. In a way how you treated me in the past was my fault not yours. I was the one deluding myself into believing that you did care about me like I cared about you, but it was just a stupid fantasy on my part. But being the baka you always said I was I refused to recognize that. So maybe I did deserve all those insults and punches from you to drive the point home that you couldn't care less about me."
Sakura felt her heart grip in pain upon hearing Naruto's last sentence. More tears were falling down her cheek, but she quickly dried them off. She couldn't believe this is how Naruto thought of her as some abusive cold hearted person who doesn't care about his feelings. Yet reflecting on it, he was right, she had been that kind of person towards him.
"You're wrong Naruto, I do care about you a lot and I'm not lying when I say I'm your friend. I know I hurt you when I left the village, but I didn't mean to, it wasn't about you Naruto. I just wanted to bring Sasuke back to us."
"You mean back to you don't you?"
Sakura looked down feeling ashamed and couldn't answer his question.
"I will take your silence as an answer Sakura and that's what hurts the most about your betrayal. Once again it was another shining example of your one-track mind always focused on or about Sasuke. Everything and everyone else be damned, especially me."
"Nar, Naruto, I had no idea that you felt like this."
"Well that doesn't surprise me. During our time on Team Seven I was essentially nothing more than a punching bag for you to use when Sasuke rejected you so you could relieve your anger and frustration out on me. I mean you never did try to get to know me like a real friend would. But looking back on it now, I really was a baka to think we would be friends. I mean what was the one thing you said when Kakashi-Sensei asked you what you disliked during our Genin team first meeting (Heh, heh,)." Naruto solemnly stated, before giving a mirthless chuckle recalling that first meeting.
The memory of that meeting flashed through Sakura's mind and she remembered how she had proudly declared the only thing she disliked……….Naruto.
"I'm sorry Sakura I didn't come here to open up old wounds. Kami, I'm sorry seems to be the only thing we know how to say to one another anymore."
Sakura was about to say something when she realized it was another apology and her words died in her throat. Naruto was right; it did seem that all they knew how to do anymore is apologize to one another. The pink-haired kunoichi looked over to gaze at her former teammate with tear filled eyes. Even though he said he didn't, Sakura knew Naruto hated her and he had every right to hate her. Sakura would have given anything in the world at that moment to change that, but didn't know how? What else could she do but to say sorry for everything she did. Sorry for every punch, insult, and remark that hurt his feelings. Sorry for every snide comparison she made of Naruto to Sasuke always pointing out how superior the Uchiha was to him. Looking back on it now, Sakura realized what a fool she had been as she sadly thought to herself.
'Kami, people make mistakes in their lives, but my mistakes are too great to be forgiven. I have mistreated Naruto since I was a little girl all because I blindly followed what the rest of the village thought and said about him. Even when he became part of my Genin team and I could see the real Naruto right in front of me and not the one the villagers always made him out to be, I still treated him badly. When all he ever did was always treat me with so much kindness, respect, and affection. Why should I think he would forgive me and be my friend, I don't deserve his forgiveness or his friendship.'
"You're right Naruto; I'm not worthy to gain your friendship. I know the truth now; I was a horrible person to you. I was never a friend to you, not like you were to me. All you ever tried to do was make me happy and how did I repay you for it? I abused, belittled, and rejected you at every opportunity I could. I won't ask for your forgiveness Naruto because I know I don't deserve it or your friendship for what I've done to you in the past."
Naruto heard the morose tone of Sakura's voice and looked over to see the girl with her head hanging low and inwardly cursed at himself once more for hurting her. This conversation with his former kunoichi teammate had not gone as he planned. Walking back over to the chair by her bed Naruto sat down and took Sakura's hand into his startling the girl as he said.
"Sakura I didn't mean to hurt you tonight. It wasn't my intention to be harsh or cruel with you and if I have been, I'm sorry. Please don't dwell on how you treated me in the past. In a way I'm glad it happened if you hadn't rejected me then Hinata-chan may have never come into my life."
The young kunoichi stiffened slightly at the mention of Hinata's new role in Naruto's life. Sakura's heart ached with feelings of guilt and regret for causing so much pain in the past to the one person she now realized was the most precious person in her life. The pain of pushing Naruto away, rejecting his friendship and hurting his feelings was slowly eating away at her heart. This blonde orange-clad boy sitting across from her had always been by her side and supported and believed in her even when Sakura doubted herself. He had always tried to cheer her up and put a smile on her face when she felt down or depressed. This same person who had risked his life countless times for Sakura while sacrificing his own happiness for hers, because he felt feelings that reflected more than just mere friendship between the two. Yet she rewarded Naruto's feelings of kindness and love for her by abusing and rejecting him causing him heartbreak and pain, which eventually drove him into the arms of the Hyuga girl. So while the pain Sakura felt about how she had treated Naruto in the past was indeed great. It was nothing compared to the pain she felt in knowing her actions had driven away the boy she now knew she loved with all of her heart.
Naruto felt Sakura stiffen and asked with concern.
"Are you alright Sakura?"
"I'm, I'm fine Naruto." Sakura lied as she answered to the boy sitting beside her. Wishing to change the subject, Sakura nervously asked.
"Naruto, I don't have the right to ask and you may not believe me, but I was happy that I had you as my teammate and my friend. I was just too stupid and stubborn to admit it to myself, but I do care about you…..a lot. Like I said earlier, I won't ask for your forgiveness, but if you could find it in your heart, I would like a chance to prove to you that I can be as good a friend to you as you were to me."
Naruto sat silently and contemplated giving his former teammate a chance to redeem herself to him. A small part of his heart still cared deeply for Sakura and would like to become a friend to her. However, Naruto was fearful that if he gave Sakura this chance and she hurt him once again, then any type of relationship with her would forever be destroyed as far as he was concerned. Exhaling a heavy sigh, the blonde Genin finally replied.
"I don't know Sakura? I would like to have you as a friend, but because of our painful past together, I'm wary of letting you back into my life. I don't want to be hurt by you again Sakura."
"Naruto I swear if you give me the chance, I will work as long it takes to earn back your trust and friendship."
"I know Sakura; just give me some time to think about it.
"Hai Naruto." Sakura eagerly replied, before a frightening thought entered her mind and she began to ask with trepidation in her voice.
"Nar, Naruto, about Sasuke I……..."
"Sakura, if you start to make up excuses for him or are going to plead for him after what he's done, I will never speak to you again!" Naruto angrily declares interrupting her.
"No Naruto, I know I've made excuses for Sasuke in the past, but after what he did to me, I now know he's the monster all of you had warned me about. I was just too stupid to listen. What I want to say about Sasuke is I want you to give up on that promise you made to me to bring him back."
A pall of silence fell over the room like a shroud after Sakura's statement. After a couple of minutes, Naruto replied in an icy tone of voice.
"I'm afraid I can't do that Sakura."
"But, but why Naruto?
"Because I promised you I would bring him back." Naruto replied, as he stood up and walked back over to the hospital room window.
"But I don't care about that traitor anymore. I lost him in my heart forever the night he raped me! We have to move on with our lives Naruto. Sasuke is no longer the boy I loved or a brother to you anymore. He's an evil, vicious, and sadistic monster who will stop at nothing to achieve his insane goals. Please don't try and keep that meaningless promise you made to me anymore. I'm sorry you ever made that promise to me in the first place, I didn't ask you to Naruto."
Sakura jolted up in surprise when she heard a loud cracking sound echo in her room and looked over to see Naruto had slammed his fist into the wall causing it to fracture where he had struck. The young kunoichi's breath hitched in her throat when she saw the angry visage on Naruto's face as he angrily said.
"My promises are never meaningless Sakura, you should know that! But you're right; you didn't ask me to make that promise to you. No, you only begged me sobbing in tears, pleaded with me to bring him back to the village, to bring him back to you at any cost! I made that promise because I loved you Sakura! Back then I would do anything for you. I would walk through the fires of Hell if you asked me to just to see you smile. I didn't care if you never liked me back. The only thing that mattered to me more than my dream of becoming Hokage was your happiness. And if the only way you would be happy is with Sasuke, so be it. Even if it did kill me knowing I would never be anything more to you than just a tool to use to bring back your precious Sasuke-kun.
"I'm, I'm sorry Naruto……I, I just don't want you to be hurt or killed by Sasuke. I've seen his curse seal activated and I know how powerful he's become. That's why I don't want you to keep that promise anymore! Sakura shouted her face full of tears.
Naruto could only shake his head in resignation before saying with regret and disappointment.
"Did you forget what I had told you earlier about my fight with the teme during the retrieval mission? You've seen Sasuke curse seal activated on level one. But I fought him at the Valley of the End when the teme used level two of the curse seal on me and I survived. It seems no matter how hard I try, I'm always second best to him in your eyes.
"I, I didn't mean to compare you to Sasuke, I'm just worried for you Naruto."
"I don't know Sakura, you might be right. Sasuke does have that jutsu stealing Sharingan at his disposal. And I'm sure the greedy little teme has been gobbling up new jutsu's for months now. Where I haven't done much of anything because of what happened to Hinata-chan, but that's all about to change."
"What do you mean Naruto?"
Exhaling another heavy sigh, Naruto turned to gaze out the window again and quietly said.
"I'm leaving the village."
"What, you can't mean that Naruto-ku…….Naruto?" Sakura exclaimed feeling very scared at the prospect of her life without Naruto in it.
"I don't have a choice in the matter Sakura. Ero-sennin and Kakashi-Sensei are taking me away from the village to train me. I have to get stronger and become a better Shinobi if I'm going to stop the teme and his snake master. There are also other enemies to Konoha and to me that I'm going to have to deal with in the future as well."
"How, how long will you be gone?"
"I don't really know? Pervy-Sage says it could be as long as 10 years before all my training is completed."
'Ten years without Naruto-kun in my life.' Oh Kami, I'm not sure I can live that long without him being a part of my life?' Sakura thought sadly to herself before saying.
"When do you have to leave Naruto?"
"In a few hours, a little bit before dawn."
A lone tear rolled down Sakura's cheek upon hearing that within a few hours Naruto would be out of her life. Naruto noticed this and winced, as a feeling of dread spread through his body. If Sakura was saddened at the prospect of him being gone for so long, Naruto didn't even want to imagine how badly Hinata was going to take the news. Looking back over to the pink-haired kunoichi Naruto spoke once more the regret etched in his voice.
"Please don't feel sad about me being gone for so long Sakura."
"How can I not feel sad about it Naruto? I'm going to miss you terribly and how can I earn back your trust and friendship if you're not around?"
"Sakura, I want you to work on regaining the trust and friendship of our friends first while I'm gone. When I get back, if I see that has happened that will go a long way in proving to me that you've changed and have redeemed yourself not only to them, but to me as well."
"I don't know Naruto? They all seem to hate me right now."
"They don't hate you Sakura; they're just angry and disappointed with you right now. But that will pass if you honestly show them that you've changed from the selfish teme obsessed fan girl you were to a kind, decent, and beautiful girl I always believed you to be. Our friends will forgive you Sakura and give you a second chance."
"I'll try Naruto; I just pray to Kami you're right."
"You just have to believe it will happen that's all Sakura." Naruto replied, as he sat back down and gave her hand a reassuring squeeze before adding.
"There's one more thing I want you to do while I'm gone Sakura."
"What, what's that Naruto?" Sakura stammered while blushing slightly, as she relished the feel of Naruto's hand holding hers.
"Train hard and become stronger Sakura. Don't let what that bastard did to you destroy your life. Become the great kunoichi I believe you can be Sakura."
Sakura looked at her former teammate and embraced Naruto with a hug before tearfully answering.
"I promise Naruto, I will. I, I just wish you didn't have to go so we could get stronger together."
Naruto was taken aback in surprise for a moment by Sakura's hug and tearful statement before he returned the embrace with sincerity and declared.
"I wish I could stay to Sakura, for you Hinata and all of my friends, but I can't. I have many enemies right now, and I can't allow them to use my precious people against me. So, I have to leave to keep all you safe.
Naruto released his embrace of Sakura and stood up while ardently declaring.
"I've made a vow to myself that I intend to honor until death takes me from this world. After seeing what happened to Hinata and to you I realized I have to become stronger and live my life to protect all my precious people in order to keep you safe. This training trip will help me to achieve that goal. And when I return I will be strong enough to protect all of my precious people from anyone or anything that intends to do them harm like Sasuke."
Sakura's eyes grew wide upon hearing that name once again and a shiver went up her spine as she then heard Naruto calmly yet also coldly state.
I realize I never answered your question earlier of why I intend to return the teme to the village. I'm not doing it for some meaningless promise as you put it, but because Sasuke needs to pay for all of his crimes. So, the next time I see the teme after I return from my training, I will give him the chance to surrender and return to face his judgment like a man and once honored Shinobi of the Leaf village. But if he refuses, then I will judge him and bring his head back to stick on a pole in the center of Konoha. Because I will not allow an evil like Sasuke to continue to roam this world and cause harm to any of my precious people anymore!"
"I understand Naruto, I look forward to that day and I know you can do it. But I can tell you that Sasuke has an insane hatred of you and will not return willingly to face judgment for his crimes. So when you do face Sasuke again, please be careful and show no mercy, because he will show none to you."
"Thanks for believing in me Sakura."
"Thank you for still believing in me Naruto-kun………..I, I mean Naruto."
"I've got to go now Sakura. I still have to talk to Hinata-chan and tell her that I'm leaving." Naruto dejectedly announced before turning to walk out of the room before stopping when he heard Sakura call out.
"Nar, Naruto can I ask you one thing?"
"What is it Sakura?" Naruto replied his back still facing Sakura as he stood in the doorway.
"Hinata, do, do you love her?"
"Hai Sakura I do with my heart and soul I love her."
"Do, do you still have any love for me anymore?"
Naruto paused a moment before turning his head around to look at Sakura and gave a small sad smile to the nervous kunoichi before answering.
"Sakura, you were the first girl to acknowledge me and treat me with kindness and friendship. Granted that changed when Sasuke entered the picture, but I still have fond memories of us when we were little kids and I thank you for those. So, small part of me will always love you Sakura. But I'm sorry and please don't be hurt by this, that love is nothing compared to the love I feel for Hinata."
"It, it's alright Naruto, I understand. I'm glad you were able to find someone to make you happy. I hate to admit it, but I'm a little jealous of Hinata." Sakura forlornly replied, as she fought to hold back the tears welling in her eyes.
"You shouldn't feel that way Sakura…………….It so easily could have been you if you had given me a chance."
"I know Naruto, I'm sorry I never did, I was a fool."
"Don't say that Sakura, your heart just belonged to another that's all. I was the fool to think I could replace the boy you loved with all your heart, but I selfishly kept on trying, thinking you would open your heart to me one day. It took me awhile to figure out, but I finally realized that no matter how much I loved you, your heart would never be mine. Thankfully, Hinata came into my life and prevented me from experiencing the greatest pain a man can have according to pervy-sage."
"Great, greatest pain?"
"Yeah, pervy-sage once told me that the greatest pain a man can have is to fall in love with a woman who will never love him back. He said it's the hardest pain a man can endure because it's a pain that never goes away."
Naruto took a deep breath and exhaled before adding with regret.
"I'm sorry Sakura that I was such a lovesick annoying loudmouth baka to you these last few years. You and I being together was just me chasing after a hopeless dream. It's ok; you just don't love me like I loved you. Take care Sakura, I hope one day you finally find someone you can love and who will love you back and get the happiness you deserve."
And with that Naruto left the room leaving a visibly shaken kunoichi clutching her arms and declaring to herself while weeping.
"I do love you Naruto. I've just never known how to say it to you?"
Outside of Sakura's hospital room a certain blonde Hokage finally broke down in tears upon hearing Sakura's mournful lament. Releasing her henge that had blended Tsunade into the hospital wall outside of Sakura's room, she had overheard Naruto and Sakura's entire conversation. The pain Tsunade felt in her chest was almost unbearable, as what had transpired between Naruto and Sakura in their young lives was like a microcosm of her and Jiraiya's almost 40 year relationship with one another. As memories of how Tsunade had treated Jiraiya during their lives flooded her mind; they seemed to viciously tear at her own heart. And upon hearing Naruto's explanation of what Jiraiya had told him is the greatest pain a man have Tsunade's felt a despair grip her entire body like a vice, as she thought to herself while scurrying down the hallway.
'I've got to talk to Jiraiya before he leaves. I must let him know how I truly feel, this is my last chance!'
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO……………………………………!"
Tsunade suddenly stopped in her tracks when she heard a mournful wail cry out from the Hyuga girl's room and echo throughout the hallway. A sad tear rolled down the blonde Hokage's face at the anguish the young girl must be feeling at that moment upon learning of Naruto's departure. As much as Tsunade wanted to help Hinata deal with her sorrow she realized there was nothing she could do. The grief Hinata was feeling only Naruto could help her with and Tsunade resumed her search for her fellow Sannin teammate.
As Sakura lay in her bed softly crying she heard Hinata's sorrowful scream and sympathized with the girl. The prospect of Naruto being out of their lives for so long gave the two young girls a shared bond……..broken hearts. Sakura could only stare at the ceiling through tear-filled eyes, as she wondered why she never gave Naruto a chance. Was it as simple as Naruto said of her heart just belonging to another? No Sakura decided, it had been something else and she now realized what it was that prevented her accepting Naruto as something more than just a friend………….fear.
Sakura always thought that Naruto's love for her was superficial when it actually had been sincere. He never denied his feelings for her as she had to him. Because Naruto proudly proclaimed his love of the pinkette openly and without reservation, she thought he couldn't be serious. It was just a crush that he would grow out of, Sakura had justified to herself. This then made it easier for the young kunoichi to reject him at every turn. But that justification she had created was false and it's only result was Sakura lying to herself all this time.
Sakura feared the depth and loyalty of Naruto's emotions for her. Hurting him in a sick sense had been a test she had given to Naruto, to see if physical pain would break the boy's spirit. For every declaration of love he gave to her, she had given him a punch, and yet it hadn't shaken his resolve in the least and that frightened her. In a way, all of the abuse she had given Naruto was nothing more than a foolish emotional defense mechanism to force him to give her up before she got burned. Naruto's presence had angered Sakura because she was scared of him, scared of the offer of love he freely presented to her, scared of his very existence. Sakura now realized that Naruto had always held a deep and tender spot in her own heart. However, to let him know that was an admission to herself that Sakura had never been strong enough to accept….….until now.
Another sad aspect of this realization was that while Naruto's pursuit of the pink-haired girl had frightened her at times. The love and affection he had showered upon her had also given Sakura a sense of safety and self-confidence in herself. Knowing that no matter how many or how harshly Sasuke would reject her, Naruto would always be there to put her on a pedestal and lift her spirits. Unfortunately, a new girl now occupied the pedestal Naruto had built……….Hinata.
As much as Sakura wanted to hate the Hyuga girl, she found she couldn't. It was not her fault that the boy Sakura now knows she loves is with Hinata and not her. The young kunoichi then remembers Hinata's prophetic words to her the day the Hyuga heiress had attacked her in the Hokage's office for hurting Naruto.
"You were so lucky to have someone as good and kind and loving as Naruto to care about you! But all you could see was that unfeeling Uchiha bastard who never did anything for you, and not who was right there by your side always!.............
………. I wish Naruto would show me the kind of love and caring he gave to you, because I certainly wouldn't be stupid enough to throw it away over some traitor who never gave a damn about you anyways!"
Sakura felt her heart sink in sorrow and remorse for the way she had ignored not only Naruto's genuine feelings for her, but had also ignored the genuine feelings she held for him, but had always kept buried. All the pink-haired kunoichi could hope for now is that the damage she had caused was not irreparable. Sakura was going to take what Naruto had said to heart and work as hard as she could to regain his trust and friendship. And even though Sakura wanted more than just friendship with Naruto, she also knew her chance at that had been thrown away a long time ago by her. But Sakura vowed as she closed her eyes to sleep, that she would find the strength to let Naruto know that living without him in some capacity in her life was something she couldn't accept. If she couldn't have Naruto as a love, then she would have him as a friend and have to be content with that.
Author Notes: As I'm sure most of you have realized all did not go well for me posting this chapter last weekend. While I was away at lunch, a family member was using the computer and got hit with one of those fake Microsoft companies saying the computer had been infected and began running a scan. Needless to say that bogus bastard's scan did infect the computer with over 35 viruses. My IT friend was able to get the computer up and running again after several days of trying. But it's still not up to 100% and I fear may still carry some viruses deep within it. It's not been a happy time in Kingkakashi's lair when it comes to the subject of our computer. Fortunately, when all of this went down, I didn't have my flash drive in the computer where I keep my chapters. Well, enough about that onto the chapter.
Well, this was a difficult chapter to write and I don't have a clue as to how it will be received by you all?
Yeah, that's why you're hiding out in concrete steel reinforced bunker you built during the Zombie Hefster war!
What, how did you get out? Sorry folks, that's just my inner Wolf demon who has gotten out of his cage. Give me a moment to delve into my mind and I'll put him back in. And for your information Lobo, I'm not hiding out in the bunker because this chapter dealt with Naruto and Sakura. I never got the chance to use the bunker during the war because Zombie Hefster and his forces were stopped in Europe. So it's just a coincidence that I've decided to check out what my money paid for while releasing this chapter.
Yeah right! You pitiful mortal, you're just worried that some of your more fanatical Naruto/Hinata fans are going to hunt you down after they read this chapter!
Not true, not true! The vast majority of my readers are sane and decent people who would not lose it just because of one chapter which I had to write for the sake of the story. Damn it Lobo you chewed through another lock again. I can't afford a Yondaime seal on my cage and have been just making due with Masterlocks. Looks like I get to breakout another one.
It doesn't matter human meat-bag, you're never getting me back into that cage again!
Well, while I'm trying to get Lobo back into his cell, I wish to thank everyone both old and new readers who took the time to review my last chapter, it's much appreciated by me.
You're pathetic, what are thanking them for? You give them an awesome lemon and those irritating bags of meat showed their gratitude for it by giving you an almost 33% reduction in the number of reviews you normally get!
I'm thanking the people who DID review Lobo! I can't control the readers who don't review now can I?
Worthless mortal! I say you punish all of them by writing a Naruto/Sakura lemon upon his return to the village with Hinata tied to a chair and forced to watch! That will show them that my vessel is not to be trifled with! You should have done it this chapter like I told you to puny vessel.
A Naruto/Sakura lemon………..Blasphemy! I could never do such a thing!
Who says it will be you meat-bag! I'll just take over one of these days and write that lemon myself!
You will never take over Lobo now get back into your cage where you belong!
Never spineless meat-bag! You will never get me back into that cell again!
Hey, isn't that Little Red Riding Hood in there?
What! Where?
A kick to Lobo's butt while he's momentarily distracted sends him flying back into his cage while I slap the lock back onto the door good and tight. Sorry once again for this interruption, now I can get back to my author note.
You can't keep me in here forever! Your will grows weak when you get less reviews then what you were expecting! One day it will be weakened enough and your guard will slip and I'll be taking over you gutless, spineless, sack of meat. And then I'll give all those other puny human meat-bag mortals who read this a Naruto/Sakura lemon twice as long as the last chapter! Is that what you annoying bags of meat want? Because it's coming if I get out of here! Yes sir, 20 thousand words of very descriptive and sloppy sex between Naruto and the pink monster. And believe me when I say all of your cries of pain, agony, and sorrow as you read it will be music to my furry ears!
Put a sock in it before I muzzle you Lobo! That will never happen because you're not getting out period, end of story! Now behave yourself while I return to the land of the living reality. I swear life isn't easy with a Wolf demon in your head.
Ok, now where was I? Oh yeah, I'm very curious to see what the responses to this chapter will be from everyone? I know some people were expecting a very depressing scene to be written of Naruto breaking the news of his departure to Hinata. I did think about it, but truthfully there's actually not a lot you could do with such a scene. It would mostly be crying, pleading, and heartache from both Naruto and Hinata. But you will get a tearful goodbye scene of those two and others probably in the next chapter. Well this ending up being an interesting chapter for me to write. I hope you all enjoyed it? The chapter was required because I needed to set the tone for Naruto and Sakura's relationship now and in the future, as well as each of their own futures. I also wanted to offer up my own little theory as to why Sakura never gave Naruto a chance in the manga. Hence that final scene of Sakura lamenting and reflecting upon that in this chapter. Anyway, please review as it does help a writer get the thoughts and opinions of the fans of the story. And remember, reviews are the motivation that helps give any author the will to continue on with their tale. Also, to any readers who are staff members to any C2 communities, please feel free to add my story to your community if you feel it is worthy of it.
Before we get into my p.o.v. of the latest manga chapters, I have some exciting news to tell you all about.
*NEW POLL*NEWPOLL*NEW POLL*NEW POLL*NEW POLL*NEW POLL*NEW POLL*
That's right, I've posted a new poll on my profile page and it's an important one but also a lot of fun. I want to find the answer to a question that has plagued man since the dawn of the 20th century.
"Who is the hottest, sexiest, most beautiful girl ever created in the world of anime?"
So what I've done is chosen 99 women from over 55 different anime's for you to choose your own personal top 10. And if by some slim chance a girl you like isn't listed on the poll, there is a choice of "other" you can use. Also for your benefit, I've placed in my bio page a link to a picture of every single girl listed on the poll that you can check out before you vote. Voting is easy as I've listed the anime the girl appears on in parenthesis first then her name. I'll be honest as I've not seen all the anime's I listed, but the women chosen were the names that seem to come up the most off of this forum page I used as a guide. The topic of which was to list the top 5 hottest anime girls. So please check out the poll and vote. The only things I ask is do not vote in your review as they will not count. And please if a girl you like wasn't listed on the poll don't argue the point in a review either. Just send me a pm and I'll discuss the matter with you. To all my female readers, I apologize to all of you for this blatantly sexist poll. But I'm sure some of the women listed on the poll are characters you like and respect so please vote for them on that criteria. To any authors out there who read my story, please inform your readers of the poll and where they can find it. Because I've never seen one done to the scale I have on this particular question. Thanks to everyone and I hope you have fun with the voting. Because believe me when I tell you, picking 10 choices isn't as easy as you would think it be on this poll. (Lol)
Once again, I have very little positive to say about the last few issues of the Naruto manga!
#475 – Without a doubt, this chapter will go down as the most ridiculous one in the entire run of the manga. Madara shows up kicks the crap out of Danzo's Aburame and Yamanaka bodyguards. Madara then fetches Sasuke out of his alternate dimension to bring him to fight and kill Danzo. Meanwhile, Danzo releases his arm clamp seals to reveal an arm full of get this…….. ...Sharingans. Are you freaking kidding me? I don't have the vocabulary to describe how stupid a premise this is that Kishimoto came up with.
#476 – Well, we get the start of the Sasuke vs Danzo fight. Which of course Sasuke appears to be winning almost immediately. But it's not enough that Kishimoto has Sasuke going God-like with his Susanoo. Oh no, he's got to make Naruto look like a wimp by having him crumble under the stress of everything and hyperventilate while passing out. Back to the fight, Danzo admits the truth of the Uchiha massacre to Sasuke who seemingly kills him before Danzo pops up alive behind him.
#477 – The resumption of the Sasuke vs Danzo fight. To which Danzo apparently can fight and survive through both Susanoo and Amaterasu attacks from Sasuke. I guess Kishimoto loves Danzo almost as much as he does Sasuke, BUT NOT QUITE! Because what time is it? Why it's time for Kishimoto to give Sasuke yet another power boost by giving him another summoning contract with of all creatures something cool like a falcon or hawk. I mean didn't the little teme already get the snake contract when he killed off Orochimaru? Basically, this chapter was just nothing but Sasuke getting another power-up from Kishi and him and Danzo slugging it out with all these massive powers, including an Itachi illusion cast by Sasuke at the end.
#478 – Pretty much take everything I said about chapter 477 and apply it to this chapter. The only thing different is not only does Sasuke get yet another power boost from Kishimoto. This one being an increased level of Susanoo, but Danzo also gets one in the form of he now has the DNA of the Shodai giving Danzo the Mokuton which allows him to control the Kyuubi as well as boost his energy from the wood in the surrounding trees. After a three-week wait to get a chapter that was practically a carbon copy of the previous one was just pathetic of Kishimoto to give to us. This only strengthens my belief that he's been mailing it in and cashing the checks for years now.
Yes, I'm still thoroughly disgusted that Kishimoto hasn't done anything yet with the Hinata confession to Naruto now reaching 42 issues.
As always, if anyone wants to discuss my story in greater detail, just shoot me a PM. I enjoy talking about the story with any readers who really have an interest in it. I'll try to respond back to you as quickly as I can. Also some readers ask me questions in reviews, but if you have your private messaging disabled, I can't respond back. Now I'd like to give a shout out to a couple stories that I recommend and hope you all will checkout when you have the time.
"Unforgiving " by Vendetta419: A story from theDracohalo117 challenge, it's a creative and original take on Naruto learning the cold hard truth about his father and it warped his mind. He now resents his father and with new powers he will show the Land of Fire his might and wrath. It's a dark Naruto story with NarutoxHinataxharem pairing. The story is also being beta'd by the author Kyuubi123 who is one of the best writers on this site and so far the only author whose story Naruto: True Nindo I've recommended twice.
"The Meaning of a Name" by Jasaiya Hawkins: An original tale involving Naruto who disappeared the day he was born. Thirteen years later, a mysterious Genin shows up for the Chunin exam. A new mystery unfolds as Minato Namikaze, who survived the Kyuubi attack, finds out the true nature and identity of this mysterious youth.
On a side note, have you checked out my new story "Supreme Genetics – Creation of a Bloodline" yet? If you haven't, don't forget to do so. The link is in my profile and is being co-authored with Hefster. In my own opinion, that story will become one of the better Naru/Hina/Saku stories out there. Chapter 3 was released on Christmas as a gift to everyone.
Also be sure to check out as well.
"My Purpose? What is my Purpose?" by NeonZangetsu & Kingkakashi: If you didn't already know, I am now co-writing an amazing Bleach/Naruto crossover story with my fellow author NeonZangetsu. The story involves Naruto who had 3 loves in his life; all of them broke his heart. Life in the village becomes too much for him, as the pain and despair he feels threatens to destroy him. Leaving the village he sets off a chain of events, as friends and foes aren't ready for Naruto to disappear from their lives, and want him back at any cost. If you're a fan of the angst, drama, suspense, surprises, and romance I've done with my story. Then you should enjoy reading this tale as well. NZ and I alternate on writing the chapters. He has the even numbered chapters, and I have the odd beginning with chapter 11 when I began co-writing with him.
Now please be kind and leave precious valuable reviews on all of these stories.
Take it easy and be good!
Kingkakashi
School time:
Microcosm
Definition: A representation of something on a much smaller scale.
Etymology: Medieval Latin to Middle English 15th Century.
Part of Speech: Noun