Author's Note: Here is the next installment of Total Drama Rewind: Reimagined! This chapter is less heavy than the previous one, but it still contains potentially triggering content. This chapter contains Eating Disorder behaviors and harmful coping mechanisms. Additionally, this chapter contains Courtney's personal experience with therapy; please know that therapy is an amazing, helpful resource and that the writing presented here is to portray how help can be perceived while depressed. Everyone's experience with mental health is unique, I hope that my work here is a helpful contribution and not at all harmful. Thank you for reading!
"Gauging Genuineness" Playlist
1.) Astronaut by Simple Plan, Julian Emery, 2.) Everybody Talks by Neon Trees, 3.) Simon Says by NCT 127, 4.) Fool by BØRNS, 5.) Echo by Incubus, 6.) Me and Mia by Ted Leo and the Pharmacists, The Pharmacists, 7.) the lonely by Christina Perry, 8.) Modern Loneliness by Lauv, 9.) The Show by Qveen Herby, 10.) stfu (i got u) by Alaina Castillo, 11.) Tongue Tied by Grouplove
Turns out words weren't so simple when Courtney had to go beyond thinking them. She stuttered, unsure where to start, "So, I've been …since a couple summers ago… well, no, I guess it's kinda always been there… or maybe just dormant until the right catalyst came into my life, or catalysts I should say. Anyway, what I'm trying to say is that I have been… no, I am de-"
An alarm blared throughout the campgrounds interrupting her.
"Jesus!" Duncan covered his ears, and she quickly did the same. She felt extremely off-balance. The two of them went to the opening of the cave and saw in the distance campers coming out of the cabins in their pajamas all looking extremely pissed.
Duncan pushed her towards that direction, "You should go down there, I'll circle around and come in from another spot."
Courtney scrunched up her nose, "Why?"
"I mean, I'm fine going down there together, princess. But what do you think all of them will assume when we walk in together in our day clothes after being all alone in the woods together at night," He asked with raised eyebrows, sinking into his neanderthal way. "Although, we could give them something to be right about?"
She punched his arm, hard. God, she couldn't believe she was so close to opening up to this idiot. What was she thinking? She wasn't! Clearly, she just had a very emotional day and needed to have some sort of cathartic outpouring of emotions. That outpouring will sure as hell not be with Duncan; next time she gets this urge, she will write it down then burn it before she opens up to a shallow teenager.
Before giving him another word, she stomped towards the campground. Her foot throbbing in its wrapping. Eva had been kind enough to lend her an extra pair of sneakers as her wedges were not the most suitable for her healing; though, she had to stuff it with some toilet paper to make them fit.
"Well, where have you been," Noah said with a snide tone, clearly annoyed with the prolonged siren that Chris had kindly announced would continue on until all campers were present. The blaring was easy for Chris to endure as he had several layers of ear protection on, so did Chef.
Courtney didn't bother to answer and quickly mimicked the other's expressions as they awaited the only remaining competitor: Duncan. He pleasantly strode in from a different area than Courtney had just come from. He appeared to be whistling, but no one could hear him over the speakers.
"Very interesting that you two were the last ones to arrive," Noah added on after the alarms finally stopped.
"Very interesting, indeed," Heather jumped in. Those two were not a good combo.
Courtney rolled her eyes, choosing not to respond.
"Not as interesting as what you losers are going to have to do next," Chris segwayed his way into the conversation, clearly annoyed the attention wasn't on him. The wind suddenly took up and the all-too-familiar sounds of an aircraft joined them. Chris was obviously talking, but his words were lost as a questionable looking plane landed in an alarmingly small opening way too close to all of them. If Courtney was on her A-game, she'd threaten with a lawsuit; this was clearly a breach of contract with the plane landing this close to all of them. Given that moments before she had believed Duncan was a good person to talk to, Courtney would say she's on her F-game; she wasn't entirely sure what A-game was but she was sure about grading.
The contestants loaded onto the plane like drones; they were all officially desensitized to forced travel at a moment's notice. Chris and Chef did not join them, per usual, as their much safer, luxurious jet was awaiting them closer to the shore.
"I fantasize about getting to kick Chris out of this plane," Eva muttered before shoving her earbuds in; clearly, Heather had managed to plant their items without notice. Courtney was sure all of them shared the same dream; in hers, Chris didn't have a parachute and they were over water.
Courtney sat down in a makeshift corner that had very flat pillows. Straps were graciously attached to the walls and floor in random spots to brace themselves with. Trent made a beeline for her. She was sure at this point that a moment of peace was unattainable here. Though, in the back of her mind, she thought of what happened last time she was alone. No–she pushed the thought away.
"Hey," Trent said in a breathy voice, plopping down beside her. "I'm so sorry for leaving you out there alone with Duncan. It was dumb of me to believe him."
Courtney raised an eyebrow. "Don't worry about it. I take it your guitar is fine?"
"Yep. I did, unfortunately, yell at Izzy before realizing there was no campfire to begin with," He covered his eyes and shook his head in shame.
Courtney just nodded with a tightlipped smile in response. People really wanted her to carry a conversation with the bare minimum here. Or maybe she forgot how to carry a conversation. It was probably the latter but she didn't feel like adding another problem to the ever-growing list of her existence. Ugh, her own self-deprecating thoughts annoyed her.
"Anyway," He picked up the conversation, ending the silence. "Did you and Duncan like… go off together?"
She guffawed. "Go off together?"
"Yeah, I mean Noah had a point–it was weird how you were the only two left and neither of you had changed."
"I went for a walk," She didn't lie. There was walking, she didn't have to mention Duncan.
"Oh, I just… Well, it's just I was with you and then Duncan was with you. And then neither of you were with anyone," He pressed on.
This was annoying. "Your point being?"
His skin flushed and he blurted out, "Are you and him together?'
Annoying and unbelievable. "Excuse me?"
"Not together! But like, together," he leaned in, lowering his voice and adding a suggestive tone to the second "together."
Courtney narrowed her eyes. "What exactly are you implying, Trent?" Her tone had taken on her pre-diagnosis snide tone, it felt familiar in her ears.
He sputtered, unable to form coherent words.
"Given that it is so unfathomable that you can't even put it into words, I'd venture to say we're not." Courtney let out a huff. The audacity of her peers was shocking. Like she would ever get back together with Duncan! He broke her heart on international television; though, that heartbreak stung a lot less after Gwen dumped his ass. Besides, she hasn't been able to give Duncan any serious thought given her state of existence. It's not like they were any different people than before, it would never work. He was still going nowhere in life, and she was going somewhere. Or she was Before. Now, she was stuck dreading any After even if it was full of success.
Trent had opened his mouth with a very apologetic look, but was interrupted by some very intense turbulence. Courtney went to reach for a strap but was too late and fell into Trent's side. It was a painful, awkward fall that resulted in her elbow going right into his side. He doubled over in pain and ended up hitting her head with his. Courtney let out a curse.
"Jesus." She rubbed the back of her head and yanked herself back into the spot next to him. "Are you ok?" The question felt nice being on the asking end instead of the receiving end.
He coughed a few more times before catching his breath, "Yeah, I think so. You?"
"Fine, just a headache. Nothing new or intolerable."
"Sorry for being an ass," he finally got out an apology.
She chuckled. "You seem to be apologizing to me a lot today."
"I seem to be incapable of acting like a normal, functioning human being around you lately."
All of the contestants made it off the plane safely, though many ended up needing puke bags after touching solid ground once again. Katie and Sadie had somehow managed to puke in the same bag at the same time; they were disgusting wonders.
Courtney was nursing her very bruised and probably scarred foot and her newly added head bump when Chris was carried out of his jet. The producers seemed to be giving him more luxuries after his screen time cuts.
"Welcome back to the set of Total Drama Action! We've roughed it for long enough, I thought it was time for some proper lighting." As if he was God, Chris raised his arms and was backlit by an obnoxious amount of lights. "Chef and I are a bit tired of having to be involved for you all to make fools of yourselves, so this week is all on you. We're revisiting 'The Sand Witch Project!' For those of you who weren't competitors when this challenge debuted, each team will pick a player to act as a 'serial killer.' Instead of playing tag or hide-and-seek, the killer will aim to scare the players. The louder the scream, the better."
"HA, that's what she said, am I right boys?" Owen nudged Cody with his elbow, waggling his eyebrows but soon a look of confusion took over. "Or he said?"
"Maybe don't make a sexual joke when you've got no idea what you're talking about," Duncan drawled earning laughs from many contestants.
"I have experience," Owen shouted.
"Yes, we know. You kids are disgusting and will make out anywhere, can we not discuss what else you've done? I have a family friendly rating to maintain," Chris yelled, his voice echoing through the sets. "Anyway, the team that scares more people wins. We've got cameras spread throughout. Once you've chosen a killer, the other members spread out! If you can't be found, you can't be scared. You've got two hours, the first 30 will be for deliberations and hiding. Now get out of my sight!" With flare, Chris beckoned his carriers to take him to the catering area and the two teams separated for deliberations.
"I'm the serial killer," Duncan declared. The Killer Bass went silent and glanced at one another, the only member left that could hold a candle to Duncan's potential was Eva but she seemed completely uninterested in the task. Plus, out of the two of them–Duncan and Eva–Duncan was definitely the screamer of the two. Courtney chuckled at the thought, quickly swallowing her laughter.
"Sounds good to me," DJ agreed. "But how are we splitting up? I think it's best to stay in groups to keep a watch out for their killer. No surprise attacks that way."
"Good thinking," Courtney affirmed.
Eva rolled her eyes, "If I have to choose between two hours by myself or two hours with one of you, I'm going by myself." Without waiting for a response, she stomped off.
Tyler raised his hand and inaudibly started counting the remaining members, "Ok, well that leaves 5 of us, not including Duncan. How are we gonna group up with an odd number, eh?"
"Wow, he can count.," Duncan snickered. He had taken an obvious disliking towards Tyler lately, surely because of his closeness to Courtney. Leave it to him to be a spiteful idiot over nothing.
"Well, I'm not leaving Sadie," Katie whined.
"Same, don't make me leave Katie." Sadie latched onto her best friend, the two of them harmonizing in their squeals.
Duncan slapped his forehead. "Would you two please stop that? We're not separating you! Here's what we're going to do. Tyler and DJ, though you will probably be a horrible pair, you're going together. And Princess is coming with me as bait."
"Bait," Courtney repeated back in disdain.
"Yes, bait," Duncan replied. "Face it, you're the only one of us who have been chummy with the enemy so far in the game. And those you're not chummy with you could probably make angry and get them distracted."
"I'm not chummy with the enemy." Courtney denied.
"Even if you aren't, it's a good plan." DJ affirmed.
Courtney sighed in frustration. "Do I have any say in this matter?"
"No." Duncan grabbed her hand. "Now, let's break up."
"This is a stupid idea." Courtney yanked her arm back from Duncan. "And how many times do I have to tell you that I don't need you to drag me? I'm perfectly capable of following someone; even if it is you."
Duncan huffed and swung around to face her. "Do you have any bright ideas? You spent the first month ordering us around like your little drones, but just now I didn't hear shit out of you. As long as we're still divided into these stupid teams, some of us are gonna have to carry the dead weight; I just didn't imagine you'd be dragging me down, too."
"Excuse me," she shouted, completely disregarding the original plan to sneak up on people. "Dead weight? Dragging you down? I don't think so, Duncan."
"Oh yeah," He laughed at her, emphasis on at. "Who has saved your ass from elimination?"
"One time!"
"It would've been twice if Bridgette hadn't pulled the whole 'Romeo and Juliet' act last night!"
Courtney was stunned. She was so lucky that she didn't open up to this complete ass of a human being. "You've got to be kidding me! What happened to your whole 'talk to me' act that was–oh, only five hours ago?"
"Don't you dare pull that shit!" He looked livid.
What right does he have to be livid? "Pull what shit?"
"Acting like I don't care just because I want to win! Me wanting you to be happy and wanting us to make it to the end are not mutually exclusive."
He was close enough where she could shove him. She imagined it would be very satisfying. And as if she manifested it through her mind's will alone, Duncan was shoved. Forward. Courtney quickly stepped to the side letting him fall face first. Eva stood huffing angrily where Duncan just stood. Courtney looked between the two several times and then burst out laughing.
"Would you shut up," Eva bellowed, quickly causing Courtney to go silent. "You two were supposed to be our sneak attack group according to the other idiots. I heard you from two sets over! Now either shut your traps or I'll shut them for you!" Her demand would have been more convincing if she hadn't been yelling at likely equal if not a higher volume than the two of them had just been at. Without waiting on an agreement or apology, she stomped away.
Duncan groaned, rubbing his nose that must have been hurt.
"You deserved that." Courtney meant to only think that but let it slip out of her mouth.
He groaned. "Why don't you take Eva's advice and shut your trap?"
He was insufferable. Without another word, the two of them started walking. Although Courtney hated his guts right now, she did appreciate how quickly she forgot about her own issues around Duncan. Probably because he was a walking trainwreck himself.
"There," Duncan whispered. He had come to a halt behind a makeup trailer and was pointing North–Courtney always took pride in knowing her directions, it was a combination of talent and her CIT training. Sitting, or attempting to hide, behind a couch was Trent. He looked bored as he just tapped on his crossed legs as if they were drums, his head bobbing to a silent beat. "Go distract him, I can come in and surprise attack in say… five minutes. That should be enough time for him to settle in with the new company."
Courtney was reluctant to follow orders from Duncan, but silently agreed. She started walking towards the set. She leaned onto the couch and poked her head over the back of it, "Hey."
Trent jumped, banging his head onto the back of the couch. "God," he put his head between his knees. "I guess today is officially 'Make Trent Look Like An Idiot In Front of Courtney' day."
"I think that might be every day at this rate." Courtney joked. Well, it would've been more of a joke if she said it in a joking tone. She was self-aware that her tone rarely took on a less than serious manner.
Trent laughed anyway. "What are you doing here?"
Shit, she didn't practice. "Uh, just bored and wandering. I see you've taken a stationary approach to the challenge. I take it you're not the Gopher's serial killer?" She walked around the couch and sat down beside him.
"Do I look like I could scare someone?"
"Only when you sing your breakup songs."
Trent slapped a hand over his mouth to muffle his laughter. He wiped a fake tear, "Give me some credit. It was my first heartbreak."
"Yeah, you write a cringe song after yours and I build a giant head of the girl who stole my boyfriend. I think we both are quite scary individuals when we're feeling lovelorn," she countered dryly.
He stared at her with tight lips, still holding in a bit of laughter. "I completely forgot about that."
"Lucky you."
"You really are something," he said in an airy voice, the "something" sounded like a compliment. However, Courtney didn't really settle for general compliments, they were a waste of breath in her mind, not to mention ingenuine and thoughtless.
She faced him with a cocked eyebrow. "That something being?"
Trent's face flushed, pupils dilated as he stuttered, "I mean you're so… 'something,' is you being so potent. Does that make sense? I feel like anything you do, you do with full force? Determination? I don't know, you'd think for a songwriter I'd have the right word for it."
"I'm a bit much, I know." She brushed him off, too used to being told she was too bossy, too uptight, too much of anything that was undesirable.
"No! That's not what I'm saying at all!" He reached up to grip her arms. "You are so much of everything I want to be."
Now it was Courtney's face who flushed. This conversation took a turn for an unexpected territory. She's never been told something so… sweet.
"I-Thank you, Trent." She swallowed the awkward nerves that were telling her to hit him with another sarcastic comment; her therapist had suggested being more open to others. Another person in this situation would probably return the compliment or provide some sort of affirmation. She supposed the genuineness of her own reaction was lacking with how much analysis she had to perform just to perform a simple interaction. "I think you're very "potent" too. Don't doubt yourself so much."
"Don't doubt myself," he said under his breath. Courtney smiled awkwardly, she knew for a fact it wasn't normal to repeat friendly advice in such a manner. Before she could laugh to break the tension, Trent had tugged her forward with his hands and suddenly his lips were on hers. Courtney's eyes went wide. What the fuck? What the actual fuck?
Trent pulled away, or really yanked himself away. No, he was yanked away by someone else. And apparently Courtney's thoughts were just repeating their surroundings. A large hand came under her armpit and yanked her up next. It was Duncan's hands. He looked angry. She couldn't hear. Everything was so far away, but Duncan was yelling. Ok, what else? Duncan's cologne was strong, breathe in, Duncan's hand was still gripped on her shoulder, breathe out, Duncan's piercings were glaring in the set's lights, breathe in, Duncan's voice pushed through–loud and angry.
She tasted bile in her throat. What was with her and throwing up after kisses? She was mid-swallow when a very green and orange figure jumped down and landed on the couch right by the three of them. Courtney started to choke while Duncan and Trent screamed bloody murder as the couch broke on impact.
She took this as an opportunity to get away before she couldn't breathe. She started running, wincing as she landed on her hurt foot. She managed to find a real bathroom after trying two fake ones; they were movie sets, no functional plumbing at all. She pushed a stall door open and didn't even bother to close it as she dropped to her knees. She raised the toilet seat and leaned over the bowl. She had never been so relieved to see water in a toilet bowl before. She started to gag herself, the bile she had previously swallowed quickly made its way into the toilet. She could finally breathe, she took deep breaths between vomits. She was going to be ok.
"What are you doing?" A tiny voice interrupted her breathing technique. She slowly turned around to see Tyler, a very upset Tyler, standing in the open stall frame.
Her bottom lip quivered, this was too much. She started bawling. Tyler dropped down and wrapped her in his arms. God, she was disgusting and he was hugging her. Her nose was snotty, her chin still wet, and her fingers coated in a mixture of saliva and bile.
Tyler rocked her, shushing her cries. "It's gonna be ok, whatever it is, it's going to be ok," he whispered. He pulled her closer to him, squeezing her tight. "Breathe through this, ok? I've had them too, stay with me."
God, could she crawl in a hole already? He knew she was having a panic attack and just witnessed her with her fingers down her throat. She was so stupid. How could she be so stupid and not check if anyone else was there? How could she let herself do this in a public restroom? How could she let herself do this at all? Her mind wouldn't stop. Despite her rushing thoughts, Tyler's reassurances were slow and calm.
She wasn't sure how much time passed, but eventually she could breathe without sobbing. She felt drained. He sensed her crying had come to a calmer spot and he pulled back slightly to look at her, "You can breathe now, eh?"
She nodded.
He gave her one last squeeze before dropping his arms. He scooted back, leaning on the opposite stall wall. "I know this isn't the time, but I need you to tell me what's going on. I brushed it off the first week, and let Trent talk to you after whatever yesterday was. But clearly space isn't what you need to be safe. Please, please tell me what's going on."
"I'm depressed," she blurted out, tears still streaming down her face. He nodded, his posture open and waiting for further explanation. "And I think yesterday I could've died. I don't know if I meant to put myself in that position, it was like I was in the bathroom and the next thing I knew I was on top of the cliffside. And then you were there, and I was like 'What the fuck am I doing?' Seriously, though, I've never put myself in a position like that and I've been severely depressed for a while. Well, that's not entirely true, but, God, I don't want to open that box just yet. And so, I was obviously upset and ready to go home. I was supposed to be the one to go home! And then Bridgette volunteered, and then Duncan pushed her out even though I tried to stop her. I really tried! I mean, I was the one that made our team lose. I almost got hurt again. I'm literally doing nothing but making everything difficult for NO REASON. Literally no reason. This is so like me. I'm fucking depressed, and I have nothing to be depressed about! I mean, my mom has reminded me of that so many times as if I don't already know that. How does she think it feels to wake up every day and wish you had never opened your eyes? I know you've had a great life, I've gotten every award, I have plenty of money, I have the greatest dad, I have a future at the college of my dreams! Yet, here I am, in a fucking stall with dried vomit on my face. And you know what? I was going to tell all of this shit and more to Duncan. Duncan, of all people! I'm seriously losing it, not only am I depressed but I must be insane, right? Right?"
She finally stopped. Tyler had nodded throughout her entire word vomit… for lack of a better phrase.
"I don't know what's going on with me, Tyler. I'm doing everything I'm supposed to do. I was in therapy, I still am on medication. I'm active here. I try to do things. I'm pushing myself. What else am I supposed to do?"
He took a deep breath, making sure she was done talking. "I don't know, but it's clear you need someone to help you figure that out. As much as I want to be that for you, I think you need to talk to your therapist. What do you say?"
She let her head fall back and bang against the stall. She didn't want to do that. "Yeah, I guess I should. I did say I would check in."
"Good, I can be there while you call if you want." He offered.
"No, I'd rather not have you hear that spiel again."
He nodded in understanding. "Ok, but next time you ever feel an attack coming on or the urge to gag yourself please come to me. Or give me some sort of signal to come to you, ok?"
"Ok." She agreed, with hidden reluctance.
Courtney was in Chris' trailer. Not even in her wildest dreams did she ever picture herself in Chris' trailer. The door opened and Chris himself walked in carrying a laptop.
"Ok, kiddo we've got the producers on the same page. You should be good to go for a video call." He placed the computer on the makeup counter, pushing his copious skincare and makeup products to the side nonchalantly.
"Thanks," she muttered.
He stood there awkwardly for a moment, his hands stuffed in his cargo short pockets. "Well then, I'll leave you be." She nodded, ready to be rid of his presence. He made his way back to the door but stopped before he pulled it open.
"Look, I know I have a reputation for being a bit of a narcissist and maybe I abuse my power from time-to-time. But I don't want to see any of you guys sad. Miserable? Maybe. But sad, no. You're too young to look so weighed down," he said with actual emotion behind his voice instead of his usual talk show host facade. He coughed awkwardly. "Besides! Sad doesn't make good television, so do what you need to do and get back out there. You've got a competition to win." He took on his usual persona, and quickly left the trailer. Courtney sat stunned. She didn't have the capacity to acknowledge Chris displaying sympathy right now, so she shook her head and turned back towards the laptop.
Within minutes she was connected with her therapist. The two talked for a few minutes and then Courtney went into her spiel, conveniently leaving out yesterday's events. She didn't want to talk to her therapist. She had found absolutely no solace in this process. She had found it beneficial in the sense it aided her compartmentalization skills. She knew that once a week she had a space to face her depression, all other times she could ignore it as much as she was capable. She had already tried another therapist before this one, she was told that the lack of connection was due to therapist-client fit. She thought the problem was with her. Her current therapist seemed very empathetic, even if her actions seemed like she just read off a script.
"Do you think you need to come home," her therapist said after Courtney finally finished her recollection.
"I don't know," she answered.
"I don't know either. But I do know I want you to check in more now. I will advise you to come home when it feels necessary, but I have to applaud you. You seem to be opening yourself up to more emotions. While you were here, I couldn't help but notice during our sessions you never had much to report other than your usual routine. How do you feel about changing your routine?"
What an obvious observation, worth every penny. "I feel unprepared."
"Life is full of surprises."
"No kidding." What an astute professional. Courtney shook her head, she shouldn't be so bitchy towards people trying to help her.
"Keep your phone on you, I'll be expecting a daily check-in on how you're feeling."
"Got it, thanks."
"Take care, Courtney."
"I will."
She shut the laptop. She let out a breath, but didn't have time to rest. She rushed out of the trailer and gathered the girl Bass members.
"Ok, I've brought you all here to talk about the elimination ceremony." Courtney stood once again in front of her peers ready to convince them of their vote.
"Yeah, we're voting Duncan out," Eva said matter of factly.
"Yeah! He like totally ruined the challenge for us, and we've already been at a disadvantage with numbers." Katie jumped off Eva's conclusion.
"Oooo, he so did," Sadie echoed the shared sentiments. "I mean, what kind of serial killer lets another killer scare them that badly? After he yelled at us, demanding the role, he was like 'Make me the serial killer or else.' And we all agreed because he's like so scary!"
"So scary," Katie repeated, nodding aggressively.
Eva rolled her eyes, "Besides, he's otherwise a good player, we're reaching a point where we have to start thinking about who we can beat in the end, not cutting out dead weight."
"All good points." Courtney had to think fast, the elimination ceremony would be starting soon. She had no clue how much time she had left to convince them to keep Duncan. "But, I was with Duncan when Izzy scared us. It was DJ who got scared first and told Izzy where to find us. Duncan had just ended up getting Trent before she showed up. You should've seen her, she came out of nowhere."
"It doesn't matter how she found you guys, she found you and Duncan lost his cool like a little wimp. So much for being the tough guy." Eva scoffed.
"I think we can all agree Duncan is not the tough guy he plays up to be." Courtney waved off Eva's comment. "We can also agree it really sucks when you're sent home because of another person sacrificing you. At least I can." She felt herself get angry once again at the memory of Harold–the geek–getting her voted off the first season.
"That's so true." Sadie stood up and patted Courtney's shoulder.
"It's so not fair!" Katie hopped up pulling the two into a hug. "So, are you suggesting we vote out DJ?"
"Exactly." Courtney nodded, pulling herself out of the tight hug. "But, that's not all I'm suggesting. We have the numbers to get the boys out, or at least most of them, before the teams shift."
"Shift?" The two friends looked at each other confused.
"Yeah, I've been keeping track of the structure of this season. We've been hitting the seasons in order: Island - Action - World Tour - Revenge of the Island - All Star - and Pahkitew. We've made it to most of those sets in order besides Pahkitew, which I'm assuming we didn't hit because of my injuries. If we're following the most popular challenges, then we are probably following the most popular team breakdowns too–as proven by the Bass and Gopher division. So, I predict that Chris will break us up into girls versus boys again, meaning we would be at a huge advantage if we shift our strategy to eliminating the boys."
"So, why can't we get Duncan out first?" Eva countered.
"Because…" She definitely didn't think this far, she was talking out of her ass at this point. "Fan favorites win, but we haven't had a repeat winner yet. If I had to bet between who would be more likely to win this season between Duncan and DJ, I would say DJ. He's well-liked, athletic, smart, and overall one of the 'better' people this show has recruited. If we're going by your strategy of cutting out who we can't beat, I'd say DJ is the threat; especially since we've already hit his weakness in challenges."
"That was like a lot of words, but I'm voting for DJ," Katie declared.
"Me too!" Sadie and Katie hugged, cheering in unison.
Eva narrowed her eyes at Courtney. "Since these two airheads have agreed, I guess I have to if I don't want to split the vote and risk one of us going home. But don't think I don't notice how both you and Duncan have saved each other's asses in the game. If I think you're going to cross me, I will come for you." Without waiting for a response or reaction, Eva stomped off.
Shit, she was too obvious. That was a problem for later. Courtney had to worry about the vote actually pulling through.
"...And can we get a replay of Duncan screaming like a banshee," Chris finished up his speech with a grand gesture towards a screen where Duncan was screaming. Chris rewinded and played it again, and again, and again.
"OK, WE GET IT," Duncan yelled and threw a shoe at the screen, smashing it. "Just shut up and throw at the awards."
"You people always ruin my fun." Chris huffed. "Just so we're clear, Duncan was responsible for those damages, not me. Anyway, Eva. Katie. Sadie. Tyler. Courtney." He quickly threw the Gilded Chris awards out to the first five. Leaving only two Bass left: Duncan and DJ.
"And the competitor safe from elimination this time is…Duncan!" Chris threw this award with extra force, managing to hit Duncan in the chest. "I guess your team took pity on you after such a scary night for you. Do you need them to tuck you in so you don't get nightmares too Dunky-poo?"
"Shut the fuck up, me being here for another challenge gives me plenty of time to figure out creatives ways for you to get hurt."
"Sure, you will. I'm sure your prison cell still has a pillow formed to your block-shaped head for you waiting."
With that Duncan shut up.
"You guys got rid of me, but - but Duncan was the one who messed up!" DJ cried.
"We're sorry," Katie and Sadie said in unison, very clearly meaning it as both of them always made it obvious they enjoyed looking at him.
"You were gonna go eventually." Eva shrugged, leaving the ceremony without a goodbye.
Chef patted DJ's back and led him to the lame-o-sine. Everyone cleared out the set besides Courtney and Duncan.
"You saved my ass, didn't you?" Duncan slid down to her bleacher.
Courtney shrugged. "I don't know what you're talking about."
"Just like you didn't know Trent was gonna kiss you."
"That literally has absolutely nothing to do with what we were just talking about. Can't you just be grateful you didn't get eliminated?" Courtney was fed up with him, he was always so short-sighted.
"Yeah, I'm eternally grateful for you finally returning the favor after I saved yours. Now, tell me why that singing freak thought he could kiss you?" Duncan pressed on.
"How am I supposed to know?"
"So, you didn't want him to kiss you?"
"I don't want anyone to kiss me on this show, believe it or not. I have bigger things to focus on."
"So, you don't have feelings for him?"
"Duncan, I'm going to sleep since it's been over 30 hours since I've been able to close my eyes. You can write these questions down and maybe I'll get to them in 5-7 business days."
With that, Courtney trudged towards the Bass girl's trailer. The other girls had gotten in bed already. She quietly got into her bunk, thankful that she was able to shut her eyes finally. She had to explain herself so many times today, she was glad she was finally able to refuse to give more words to people who were asking all the wrong questions.
If you or your loved ones are struggling with suicidal thoughts or disorderly eating, please know you are not alone. There are many people out there who work for supportive organizations that offer help. Please see below for the numbers of accessible resources.
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 800-273-8255 (24/7 services)
National Eating Disorders Association: 800-931-2237 (Hours are Mon-Thurs 11am-9pm ET, Fri 11am-5pm ET)
I have drawn a fanart of a moment in this chapter. Please take a look at my tumblr-uncorrelatedideas-to see it. As always, favorite and review!
With much much support,
RCR