This is my first time writing a fanfiction story so reviews would be great! Thank you for reading!

All characters belong to the Red Queen Series!

Mare POV

Seeing them run across the grass makes me feel at peace. Gisa and Elara run ages ahead of Shade, showing off their own cartwheels and tricks, both trying to beat the other with more complex and complicated steps. They execute it with grace. If Shade is jealous, he doesn't show it. After all, he's the better fighter of the three, having the most control over his ability. Elara hates her ability and although she's cultivated it to a high degree, she's against using it. Gisa was never the fighter. She was always diplomatic and a good strategist, opting for politics and games rather than violence. And she's good at it. Even though all of them have mastered the art of wearing an unreadable mask, Gisa always had the potential to be the better ruler. She can read people easily like an open book. Just like her father. An unreadable monster of sorts when he wants to be.

They will never be like him. I will make sure of that. I've always been there to guide them. What could possibly go wrong? They have a mother's love and guidance. They've been obedient too. Would that be their downfall? Sometimes the question makes me mad. The uncertain possible future makes me go crazy sometimes. I wish I could grab Jon and shake the answers from him. Or have his ability. I could see far into a person's life, their pathway. I could decide their fate. I could make their future. I could help the defeated Scarlet Guard, and make sure I was far away from him as possible. Then I would be in control of my fate. But the responsibility of fate is too big of a responsibility. Perhaps Jon knew this was the best future. A miserable thought. And with that, a thousand questions come to mind.

How did this even happen? Where did everything all start?

It all started with Kilorn's fishing master. If he didn't die then this chain of events wouldn't have happened. Shade would be alive. So would so many others.

No.

More would die in the long term. The useless war would rage on for longer. The world would stay the same. Reds under a Silver boot until we're all gone. They would live much worse lives than that of today. I would be conscripted. I would lose my hand in all the change. As a Queen, I helped the Red communities lead better lives than before, with fairer wages, and more jobs. Better living conditions. But is that enough for me to stay where I am?

Or am I willing to go back?

I am willing to go back, even after the change has happened. I've lost everything. My strength. My innocence. Cal. And I would do anything to get them back, even for a minute. I'm prepared to see the possible change if there could have been one.

It doesn't matter now. I have to work with what I have now. My priority is to keep Elara, Shade, and Gisa safe. I need to shield them, protect them from everything he's ever done to me. He can do whatever to me, but I will make sure they aren't harmed. I'm willing to sacrifice myself, my innocence, my dignity, my honor, and my pride for them. Even if the other half of them belongs to the devil Maven is.

I watch them play off their abilities. Gisa and Shade display wonderful displays of their talents, with pictures of fire and electricity. It looks like a mixture of the two both of them blending in together. I suddenly long for my lightning. To feel my ability, familiar as my own two hands. But it never comes. No matter how thin the bracelets are, they still blanket my ability, blotting out the electrical spark. Somewhere, I hear Elara telling them to stop showing off. Despite not having a visible ability, she might be the most lethal among the three.

I don't notice Maven beside me. In fact, I forget he's even there. Only when he holds my hand am I aware of his presence. I almost want to pull away. I need some time alone with myself. But the perfect family image I wear when I'm around my children can't slip. I can only be me when I'm alone. I will not compromise their future. They can't know that anything is amiss or else they will grow up differently. Without the best family environment, I might damage them emotionally. They are innocent children after all. What would it do to them if they learned their parent's relationship was a lie? It would wound them beyond comprehension to know their family is as broken as shattered glass.

A small breeze picks up sending strands of hair into my face. Their brushed away by Maven's hand and tucked behind my ear. Though I pretend not to notice, my eyes travel towards his face. He sends a soft smile back and I quickly turn away, hoping he didn't notice the red flush on my face, but it quickly disappears. The emotion is quickly suppressed filled with distaste. How can I feel such things? I don't care how much he changes. It will never erase all the scars and trauma he's put me through. The branding, the notes, the sounder. Though the scars are gone, the memory of it still remains. But that's only physical wounds. He wasn't the boy I fell in love with. He used me like a puppet to lure newbloods to his side. He's a sick person, made with the additions and subtractions from his mother. An evil soul.

But I can't ignore the difference in him. He may not be as broken as I thought him to be.

I don't know when it started. Was it when we became husband and wife? Or was it when Elara, my newblood whisper daughter, started to have some control over her powers? Or is he playing behind a mask? Some part of me desperately hopes he is. It would make it easier for me to loathe him. Either way, I don't know. I don't want to find out anyway. Even though I hope for a miracle, I've prepared for the worse possibility.

Maven always reserves as much of himself for me. He smiles much more often. I guess he's kinder than he was previously. He's the one who used to chase away the nightmares when the past came to haunt me in my sleep. The one who always cared about me, even in his own corrupted way. The one who is holding me in his arms at this very moment. He exists even in the smallest pieces of himself. And even though he's not himself fully, he cares. It's visible. Something that doesn't have to be faked. On some days, it makes me nauseous. Other days, it's nice. Our relationship could be considered special. An exception. We are still fighting through all our mistakes. Our mistakes. Booth of us trying to make amends with the past. Maybe Maven is not so bad as I thought. Maybe I can get the relationship to work better somehow.

"Stop thinking that." I say to myself mentally, "People like him never change. It's only because he has you in his web of no escape. Never again will I ever have feelings for such a devil like him. I will NEVER succumb to it. Do you ever learn little lightning girl? Have you forgotten everything he's put you through? Or are you a stupid girl with stupid dreams who never learns?"

It's hard to say I love Maven. I suffer through many mood swings of anger, happiness, and sadness throughout our time together. I'm guilty of betraying the Scarlet Guard, but I'm also quite happy to say that the Reds under our rule are living better. I've made a life for the working class easier. But Shade, the Colonel. Cal. All dead, physically just because of my stupidity and blind hope. Never to be reawakened or changed. And my family, Kilorn and Farley. All of them have died mentally. In some ways, I think I might have too.

My eyes flicker betraying my image of normalcy, but quickly mask the feeling of it. I can't reveal all of the sufferings that have happened in front of anyone but myself. Maybe one day I'll come to terms with the past. But for now, I have to pull myself together. I have to.

Maven's POV

I can see Mare's smile as she looks about our children's, her beautiful brown eyes, surveying the scene. She seems much more at ease, calmer than she usually is in my company. And today she's beautiful. Maybe it's the colour of blue that she's wearing or the way her hair's in a morning updo, giving her a look of neatness and grace. Then again, she is always beautiful in my eyes.

The children are happy at least. I don't know if any of them suspect anything wrong with their parents. Hopefully, they won't prod at any open wounds that might linger between us. Even after many years of being together. Such curious souls could be damaged easily with one bit of truth.

A small breeze picks up sending strands of hair into her face. I slowly tuck them back behind her ear. Nothing is going to ruin this moment. It's too perfect. I try to soak up every bit of it. Every blade of grass, every cloud, trying to burn the image into my brain. Try to remember this as much as I can. And when Mare looks at me, I smile. She really is beautiful no matter what the rest of the world says. She quickly turns her head to hide the blush on her face, pretending to be keeping watch over our kids. I look out too. They seem content at today's getaway after being inside Archeon for too long.

Elara runs across the grass, trying to catch Shade. She is light and graceful with her movements. She lunges forward trying to catch Shade's arm only for her to grasp air. While Elara is lighter on her feet, Gisa, on the other hand, is much more boyish. She's less elegant with her moves, trying and relies on her instincts, a trait she inherited from her mother, no doubt. It may seem coincidental that Shade and Gisa did not end up as twins, as they both mimic each other's movements. But they both have very different personalities. Shade takes more from me, Gisa is like a miniature version of Mare, and Elara...she's so much like my mother, without her antagonistic personality. If she had straight ash blonde hair instead of river brown, I could mistake her for my mother's doppelganger.

For a second, what I think is happiness wells up inside me. It shocks me, and it feels as if I've opened my eyes for the first time. Mother may have taken my humanity when she was alive, but it's coming back slowly. I remember the first time change happened. I went to bed at the usual time, Mare beside me. Everything was normal until I see Thomas. He's standing in a meadow, smiling. He's unconcerned with the fact that I've moved on and seems quite happy, content that I haven't wallowed my sadness, in his death and my mistake. I shouldn't have lost control. And he waved hello. As with the usual ache that comes with his name, doesn't come. Even Mother's voice started to die away at some moments.

With change comes the uncertainty of the future. I hate not having Mother's guidance. Her timely whispers going in and out. Sometimes, even after some of her fine work, I can't make the decision. And sometimes, I'm angry at the fact that the last connection I have to Mother, my brain, is being severed somehow. But it gives me comfort. I'm healing. Hopefully when this is done, Mare won't see me as an incomplete, broken, puzzle of sorts.

Sometimes, I wonder about a different future. A future where I was complete. A future with a Silver prince and a Red princess instead of a Silver king and a Red Queen. Where everything was...perfect. I wish I could erase all my past mistakes. I wouldn't help Mother with her plan. I would have Mare instead, and a family that truly cared about me even though they may not have showed it. But most of all, I wouldn't have let Mother ruin me like that. What about the other futures? The question has brought me sleepless nights. If only I knew.

Would life be better?

"No", Mother's whispers rings inside my head, barely audible, "you have the crown. Your brother is dead. The throne is yours, and yours only".

I shut her voice out of my head. Cal is dead. Because of me. I didn't love him when he was alive, but since the reformation, I have a small longing for my older brother.

"Stop thinking about him", the whispers returns louder, "you have your crown. Would you sacrifice everything you have worked for, with your blood and sweat to be lost to your brother?". She cackles. "You are weak. Even after all the sacrifices I've made, you still think about a future where he rules. A weak king to rule a weakening kingdom. You would have found your head on the chopping block if Cal was king."

The voice slowly fades away, until I hear nothing. No note of its existence. Nothing to remind me of its presence. It was as if nothing happened, as if I have become whole again.

Mare's head moves onto my shoulder, and I hug her tighter. Nothing is supposed to happen, nothing bad at least. I need to relax for once. I need to stop thinking about palace duties and the stress of palace life.

I let the blanket of tranquility fall over me. For once, I don't think about everything that has happened. My brother's execution, me and Mare's fragmented relationship, my dead parents, one who I killed for the throne, and the one who poisoned my mind, and the broken ties of my extended family.

I won't ever forget this day.

Note: I don't know how if it's confusing for any of you to differentiate between the two "Elara's", so I'll use Elara M. to show Elara Merandus and Elara for the MC of the story.

Mare hasn't gone mad even after years of not being able to feel her lightning. Actually, she lied about the Silent Stone to her children saying that it would help her get better since she was "sick". The reason why she lied was also already sort of stated in this episode; it was because if she told them how broken their family was, it would hurt the children's feelings which might also make them grow "differently". I might change the reason she still wears Silent Stone and I might also publish the story before this one about Mare's life before everything...then again, no guarantees (IF I HAVE TIME!).

Maven did make laws that helped red communities flourish under his rule. Most of his decisions were influenced by Mare though some laws he lifted were did to gain popularity among them.

EDIT: My Wi-Fi has been really crappy so I was supposed to send in the good copy of this chapter but the document didn't save or something. Sorry about that! T^T

Edit: I'm sorry I didn't specify who was dead correctly T^T. Hopefully it's clearer now.