hOLY. It's been about half ayear since I last touched this?

Anyhow, I hope you'll enjoy reading the next small bit I wrote. I owe you guys anyway :)

Elara POV

It was only at night that Gisa came to my room with a small, leather bound book, hidden inside the folds of her dress. Even under scrutiny, my clever sister always finds a way to make do this discreetly and without interruption.

"Shade made me come," she says, putting great emphasis on our brother's name. "He should have just done it himself."

I smile softly at her. "Rather than thinking of it so negatively, perhaps a switch the perspective and a different interpretation will lead to another conclusion."

"As a symbol of trust?" My younger sister shakes her head. "We're all siblings. We should . . . should trust each other. That's a given."

"Even you hesitate when saying that," I reply, taking a seat on the chair beside my desk. My sister mirrors me and sits down on my bed, directly across from me. The book lies behind her, partly hidden by her figure.

"It's because Shade's afraid of you," Gisa averts her eyes, content to stare at the doorknob instead. "Not because of your nature, rather because he's afraid of being casted out of your life again."

She finally turns to stare at me, her brown eyes meeting my blue ones. They're filled with a sort of understanding tinged with hostility. She must feel the same way towards me. To her, I'm just a sister who abandoned my family, seeking more comfort in friends than I do with those closest to me.

"You came here to send me something," I say, breaking the silence settling between us. "What is it?"

"Right," my sister pauses for a while before bringing the book into full view. "Here it is."

My eyes land on the inconspicous brown book in Gisa's hand. The yellow pages are a testament to its age, but the cover looks brand new albeit the dust on the surface. Mother always takes good care of her belongings. This is no exception. I'm certain it must have had a lot of personal value to her, more so if she was brave enough to entrust her mind to the flaxen sheets in between.

"Do not let anyone see, not even the maids," she warns, setting the book on my desk. "Every maid is Mother's spy. You can't trust anyone with this and no one should know you have it."

Her serious tone makes me nod as a response. "Would I even have anyone to tell?"

"No," she replies quickly. "Maybe not. I don't know about your situation."

"Coriane isn't here."

"Funny of you to only mention Coriane," my sister sneers. "I thought you had more than one friend to talk to."

"Would you expect me to talk about this in broad daylight?"

"Of course not," Gisa says. "But I can't help but be cautious. This isn't something to be taken lightly. If the nobles find out, if anyone gets the wind of this-"

"I know what you're going to say-"

"Then we should hope that there won't be any consequences." My younger sister curls her hand inwards, gripping the fabric of her dress. "The court isn't exactly kind to the royal family at the moment. This information . . . it has the potential to tip us over the edge."

"And I promise I'll do everything to protect it," I say with resolve. "Thank you for bringing this to me."

Gisa smiles happily for the first time she's been here. "It's been a while since you last thanked me for something."

"It's been a long time since we last spoke like this," I reply. "A long time actually . . . "

A loud silence settles between us as we wait for the other to speak. I would say more. I should say more. Instead I keep my mouth tightly locked and wait for my younger sister to change the subject. Family isn't something comfortable with speaking of.

"I should go," Gisa says, standing up. "It's getting late and we both need our energy for tomorrow."

"Huh?" I raise my eyes to look at her. She's already by the door. "Gisa-"

"Get some rest tonight," my sister continues calmly, opening the door. She shoots me a faint smile. "Good night."

The door shuts behind her with some finality. The sound makes me regret. I feel regret for not being open with her as any normal sibling should. I could blame it on the tall, emotional walls around me. But in the end, I was the one who build them. I was the one who limited my ability to connect because I was afraid of myself.

Maybe if I said something, she could have stayed. Maybe I could have gotten closer to my sister.

Mother always told me that she hated words like "maybe" or "if". Now more than ever I can understand her hatred for them. They're always dead routes and it's never good to wonder on what could have been rather than the present.

The heat that once occupied my room has now left leaving behind a cold shell of its original warmth. Part of it was because of the natural warmth Gisa had. But there was something about her presence here. It was something special. Almost like people cared for you.

But of course, I distanced myself to protect those like her.

And a lonely feeling consumes me instead.

Gisa POV

Relationships in Silver society are usually made because of opportunistic gain. Very few are made off of true friendship and even they are unreliable.

But it should be different for siblings. Although there are always tales about relatives fighting over thrones, Shade isn't like that. Elara isn't either. I remember the person she once was and who she could have been. It's buried within her somewhere.

So why is it so hard to communicate with her?

Maybe it's because nobody knows how to in the first place.

It all happened so suddenly. One day she was in my life, the next day she was out. I used to knock on her door along with Shade, trying to get her outside the small room she hid in and into the wide world. But she never really listened and prefer to avoid us whenever we was forced to act like a whole family. We were never whole and she was the piece that absolutely refused to fit in.

To this day, I still think about her disappearance from my life. I have long grown used to her absence. The thought only hits me when I'm unoccupied, alone, or just lonely. Even my brother can't fill the void completely.

I walk down the corridor, nearing Shade's room every step of the way. I feel guilty sometimes when I see him. I abandoned my efforts quicker than he did trying to get my sister to listen, leaving him alone to do it. He was always hopeful and optimistic, a bright light in our family.

Which is why I'm afraid for him. I'm afraid that the truth will break him into a million pieces. He can't handle news like me and neither his his mental strength on par with mine.

The door to his room opens and I walk right in.

Unlike Elara's which was brightly lit, ready for a reading session, Shade's is dark. He stands by the window, watching the city go to sleep. A few lights wink before turning off completely as I watch him. Seeing him like this makes me ache but I do nothing more than close the door behind me.

"Did you get it to her?" Shade asks, still staring outside his window. He doesn't even bother glancing at me.

I walk right up to him and send a "slightly painful" punch (a description my brother would most certainly disagree with) at his shoulder. "You should have done it yourself."

He recoils at the punch and sends me a glare. "You think I didn't want to?"

"I think you really didn't want to," I reply angrily. "Your her twin. You're supposed to, or at least obligated to stay with her through everything right?"

"I tried."

"You tried," I roll my eyes, obviously annoyed. "You tried once. I think we can do it again."

But my request isn't met with as much enthusiasm as I thought it would be. "Gisa you can try."

Shade turns back to the window, content to watch the world instead. It seems to be more interesting or more crucual than the words I'm saying. His behaviour angers and dissapoints me deeply.

Without thinking, I push his arm, forcing him to face me. "Shade," I begin in a low voice, "this is our sister we're talking about."

"And what do you want me to do?"

I take in a sharp breath. His optimism truly faded as he aged. Instead of my brother, I just see someone who has given up on ever repairing his relationship with their relative.

"I truly miss the person you once were Shade," I say. "You used to genuinely smile. You used you hope."

"I used to hope because the world is harsh and fantasies are comforts Gisa," my brother replies, finally looking at me in the eye. "But I can't fight against the world. I can't force Elara to change."

"This isn't about forcing, it's about trying to break down her walls," I explain, exasperated. "Look, our parents aren't doing anything. They're too busy to do anything really."

It's when I finally realize the actual state of our family. Even Mare and Maven have left us all alone.

No wonder I feel lonely at night. I have almost no one to rely on.

"Promise me you'll try Shade," I say, still gripping his arm. "I'm begging you, we could have another chance to save our sister."

It was Father who taught me how to read people. I used to stick by him during court and watch him rule. He would explain the different cases and quiz me on my observations afterward. I was never bad at it but there were always details I missed through the way the rest of the body was like. But it was always the eyes that intrigued me. Reading them was my specialty.

Turns out that all the training finally paid off. The way my brother's eyes cloud over, the way he blinks tells me enough. He's conflicted, troubled even. But I've made myself clear. Even if he doesn't want to help, I'll go through with it anyway.

"I promise," Shade says quietly. "I promise I'll help."

I finally breathe out with relief.

"Thank you," I whisper, pulling him into a tight hug. "Get some rest, I'll see you tomorrow."

Shade just stands there like a tree even as I let go. Even as I leave. It looks like such a lonely, empty scene.

I wonder if he feels just as isolated as I do.

Memory . . .

Shade POV

"Shade!"

I turn around to see my twin sister run towards me with a lively smile on her face. The large jacket she has with bulging pockets doesn't help either. "Shade!"

"Elara," I say, returning a smile. She finally catches up, out of breath, but still joyful. Her mood seems to be the exact opposite of mine, almost like sunshine while I seem a little gloomy like a rainy day. My teacher didn't let me eat since I didn't finish the required work before lunch time. Elara stood out there, waiting before she was pulled away by our mother. She pouted of course, but still complied.

"Here," my twin sister opens a pocket and hands me a pastry bun wrapped in thin plastic. "I went down to the kitchen and nicked some stuff out of there."

I stare at her, surprised. "How did you-"

The thought hits me immediately and Elara smiles brightly. "Right," I say quietly, taking a bite out of the bun. It's custard, one of my favourites. "Thanks anyway."

"People always say twins have connected hearts," my sister replies, taking a seat on the edge of a fountain nearby. "I have more if you want. I just need to figure out which one is which . . . "

She rummages through her pocket before handing me another bun. "I'm pretty sure this one has meat inside of it. I think it's enough to get you through your next lesson."

I take it with a cautious hand and join her by the fountain. "Thanks."

"Stop using your mouth to talk and eat instead," my sister scolds. "We only have thirty minutes."

Being the slightly older brother who wanted to please his sister, I did as she said. At least my stomach wasn't so empty anymore. The meat bun actually provided some energy as opposed to the custard one. The latter was just pure sugar without any nutrients.

By the time I was done, Elara handed me a large hard candy on a stick to finish off the meal. It was a bright red.

"You're sweet you know that?" I say, eating the candy quickly. "If I were you, I would have hoarded it all in my room and eaten them all myself."

Elara giggles happily before shoving the wrapper into her pocket. I do the same. "I would feel bad if I didn't share with you."

"Is this lollipop strawberry flavoured?" I ask, watching her unwrap a lemony coloured yellow one. "And is that one lemon flavoured?"

"I'm pretty sure that one is cherry but I could be wrong," Elara replies, holding hers up to the light. "To answer your second question, hope it is. I think I've told you enough about my relationship with citrus."

"You learned that from a book?"

"Maybe."

We both share a laugh before enjoying the piece of candy. "Wow," I murmur as the taste of strawberry hits my tongue. "I think I found my new favourite."

"I'll stick with the old ones we have," my sister smiles, watching the lollipop. "Lemon."

"Aha, sure it is."

"Well, let's be sure to finish it quick," she warns. "What if Gisa sees us eat one without her?"

"She'd be very upset," I say, matter-of-fact. "I'm not covering for you if she finds out. Or if our parents do."

"Then I'll oust you too," she replies playfully. "And Gisa will be jealous knowing that we both ate the candy without her."

We laugh again and I smile, treasuring the moment sweetly.

A/N: Hi. I'm not dead.

Hope you enjoyed the chapter! I found some time to write as it's in between semester one and semester two so hopefully it paid off :)